 Have you ever wondered why people find it difficult to approach you, even though you know that you are a nice person? Well, you can be nice but not friendly. While people don't necessarily get so close to someone to find out if they are friendly, they may need to get close to you to see that you are lovely. Thus, you need to know that much of how you present yourself verbally and non-verbally when you're around others plays into how approachable you are or not. In this video, I will share with you 7 signs that you are not friendly. 1. You don't like to share. Have you heard of the phrase, sharing is caring? Well, that 3-letter sentence emphasizes the importance of sharing. Sharing is one of the best ways to show someone that you care about them. So, if you are the type of person that does not like to share, it shows that you do not care. And if you are not caring, you are not friendly. Friendly individuals have a caring heart, they are always willing to give to people around them, even if it means having nothing left. Many people believe that it is only when they have more than enough that they can share. But then, sharing is more beautiful when you have little. It shows more care and makes the person in question feel more special. For instance, who cared more? A person that has $100 and gave $50 or a person that has $1000 and gave $100. The person who gave the smallest amount actually gave the biggest and that is what sharing and being friendly is about. Note that sharing does not only involve money. It also requires time, attention, information, opportunity, etc. If you can't share, then you are not friendly. 2. Lack of confidence Confidence is essential for countless reasons, but in this video, we'll focus on how it plays into approachability and friendliness according to a report on match.com. If you lack confidence, it might be tough for you to approach others or get approached by others. So, if you're standing there thinking you're not attractive enough or smart enough, it could be having the opposite effect. Lack of confidence hinders you from approaching people you desire to meet. Take for instance, if you get into an environment and not talk to the people around because you do not have the courage, how do you think people around will perceive you? Not being confident in yourself can make you appear rude to people. It gives you off as unfriendly, because they may assume that you are just feeling too big to mix up with others. Even if you're not feeling your best, you ought to be confident of who you are, while you strive to become better. 3. Avoid eye contact Another way your body language is making you less approachable, you're avoiding eye contact at all costs. According to business strategist, Sura Saxena, who penned an article for LinkedIn on approachability, eye contact is vital in determining whether or not a person is friendly. 1. Eye contact shows confidence Several pieces of research have shown that direct eye contact can make you seem more friendly and approachable because it indicates a willingness to cooperate. It tells people that you like them and that you're open to connection, so even when it feels like eye contact might be awkward, go for it. A few solid seconds can help to do the trick. If someone does not meet your gaze, you may assume they are uninterested in what you have to say. Shockingly, one study revealed that not only do we tend to like other people that make a lot of eye contact, but we're also even partial to animated characters with longer gaze durations. 4. You spend more time on your phone What impression do you have about people who go for meetups, yet have their eyes on their phone all through the meeting? Well, such people are often seen to be rude and unfriendly. Only those who do the same would consider that attitude as usual. If you're showing those around you that your phone is far more important than anything they could have to say, why would they want to spend time talking to you? According to positivemed.com, cell phones can very quickly make us appear to be unapproachable, as it shows other people that we're too busy to interact with them. Tritfully, with the advancement of the internet and social media, it is very paramount for people to build their online visibility. However, it should not be at the expense of your online activities and physical interactions with others. So, unless something comes up that is incredibly important, turn off that phone or put it on silent whenever you're around other people. 5. You're a quiet most of the time If you're not big on talking, this could be working against you. Understandably, you're a shy type and talking is not your thing, even though it is just who you are. You should know that it portrays you as unfriendly. Verily Magazine pointed that keeping your lips sealed is another sign you're not unapproachable. Thus, it is recommended that you listen and have some questions ready so that if you're having a conversation with someone, you'll have something to ask without hesitation. This will not only make you more open, but it will also make the other person feel comfortable in that you're interested in what they have to say. Otherwise, he or she might see you as unfriendly. 6. Your body language is closed off Let's say you missed your way. Who would you approach for directions? A person who stands facedown with arms a chemo, or someone arms open with a smiling face? Let me guess. The latter. Even if you are an empathetic person and decide to have a chit chat with the former, you will most likely ask the last for directions. The way you position your body tells a lot about your approachability. If you continuously stand with your arms crossed, for whatever reason, it could be what is turning people away from you. Studies have shown that we humans read into body language and crossed arms send the message that you want to be left alone or you're not interested. Career expert Megan Casely advised in a statement on Forbes did, When standing, keep your arms by your side, never wrapped around your meat section. It can help you to angle your body towards people instead of leaning away and turning people off. 7. You are a pessimist Many individuals are so quick to react. They jump to conclusions and negative assertions before they even listen to the situation on the ground. As a friend, you must be able to see the positive aspect of things in circumstances buttering your friend. At times, your words of encouragement during their bad times can give them the strength to be healthy again. Imagine stepping into the hospital and meeting two nurses. While the first one tells you about only the dangers of the sickness, the second one focuses on the fact that the illness can be treated. Now, if you were to choose who should attend between both of them, who would you pick? If you're the negative one in the office, for example, you might notice that people start to avoid you. The same goes for giving off negative vibes while on a date or when networking. If this describes you, switching things up can help. Be an all-round positive person and you will attract people to you. You do not need to be an extrovert to be a friendly person. With a positive outlook, a cheerful body language and a beautiful overall attitude, you can develop friendliness.