 The Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum invites you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Si Howard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Lash with Alan Reed as the star. Really enjoyment to millions of people all over America. In offices and factories, on farms and branches, in mines and oil fields, folks find that chewing Wrigley Spearman helps them feel better and work better. The makers of Wrigley Spearman gum are glad that their product is proving helpful and enjoyable to so many people, and they're glad too that they're able to bring you life with Luigi, because they know it's the kind of a radio program that millions of Americans enjoy. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. Mama, I'm gonna feel so terrible today. Mama, don't even feel like to write to you. So don't be surprised if you don't get this letter because Mama decided not to send it. Who am I feeling so bad to mama, ma'am? Where is my antique business? In America, if you're stuck, don't move, they say you've got to not turn over. Mama, ma'am, my stock hasn't ever turned over. It's just a lady like Iraq. But I'm going to say to some places that in America to be good to businessmen, you've got to be high-precious salesman. But this summer never gonna be my precious only 102. The one summer thought would be a good idea if I'm a study how good a salesman is to work. So I went inside the big appliance store. In a 15-minute salesman is a salami toaster percolator vacuum cleaner, electrical blanket, midget radio, and a little book that's a good for 12-monthly payments. But the funny thing your mama knew was I turned out to be better salesman than him because it just would a few words. I'm a solemn back everything in a one-minute. All I'm said is, I'm a no-got-the-money-for-a-12-payments. Anyway, this is kind of talent for selling. I'm a no-really-got. Sometimes I think I was born with only two talents, eaten and asleep. And I'm gonna think if I'm a no-find-this-talent for selling, I'm as soon as gonna lose my talent for eating. That is a really no-joker, mama. Because my business is to go from a slow business to no business. Excuse me, mama. I'm gonna hear bigger noise outside of my dome. Maybe it's a customer. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi. Hello, hello. Any customers who come in today with a cabbage pussy? One of us, well, it was a tree, but there wasn't a real customer. So first, fellas, I want to find out the time. I want to know where is the subway. But the fella, he's asking me for light. That's a nice, Luigi. You was a seller who watches the street maps and the matches. You'll be a millionaire. Well, all right. All right. If you feel like to like to come back next week when I'm out of business, then you can laugh off of your sides. Next week out of business, eh? What's happened, Luigi? Don't tell me you made enough money to retire. You think I'm a fool, huh? Pascale, you ever hear me talk about Mr. Jenkins? Jenkins, that's your job. Fellows leave a load of his antiques laying around your store. And you know why he's leaving them in my store, Pascale? Sure, sure. The way you do business, if they get his antiques, they'll worry themselves of 50 years older. That's a nice. I'm glad you think everything is so funny. Well, I'm sorry, Luigi. I didn't know things were so bad. Honestly, let's see. Now, what can I do to help you out the most? But I'm afraid it's no use, Pascale. Like they say in America, I'm a camel to the end of my rope. Luigi, if only you were at the marry, my daughter Rosa. Pascale, maybe I'm a comp to the end of my rope, but I'm not going to hang myself. Last week, Rosa and me, we went to the beach where you should have seen her. You know what she looks like in a Catalina swimsuit? Yeah, like a Catalina island. Oh, hello, hello, lady. Come on in. I'm a Mr. Basker. Yes, Mr. Basker, what are you asking for that chair you have in your window? Oh, in the window? That's a 50 dollars. Oh, that's reasonable. I'd like to buy it. Oh, it's a window for you. I want it delivered by two o'clock. Oh, I? I should have delivered? Yes, you do deliver your merchandise, of course. Well, I'm a no-gatter truck. Oh, he's got a whole fleet of trucks, a lady, but the truck drivers association, they got a big picnic today. You know, but the lady, is it not so heavy to carry? Oh, now, Mr. Basker, surely you wouldn't expect me to take the chair in the bus with me? Well, you'd be sure to have a seat. Well, I don't think I want that chair after all. Oh, no, but the lady, lady, I'm not going to carry it with you. We each are going to take a one-footer. Oh, never mind. Good day. No, ladies, please. Each are going to take a one-footer. Oh, you big-footed gravel. The one-to-you business is so terrible. Every time you can't deliver, you lose a customer. That's right, Mr. Basker, but what am I going to do? What you can do? Buy yourself a little truck and a deliver. That's what? Yeah, but, Mr. Basker, it's a cost of money to buy a truck. Wake up, Luigi. Today you don't have to buy for cash. You've got a new thing that's called a credit. K-R-E-D-D credit. That's it. Sure, but someone never thought of this, Mr. Basker. Look, Luigi, that job of Mr. Jenkins, he had to come around till next week to take away the antiques. Maybe if you hurry up to get yourself a little truck and start moving some of the stuff, maybe he's going to give you one more chance. Yeah, sure, all right. Then I'm going to look for a truck company in a telephone book right now. Yeah, but wait. Wait, all I've got is $25. Well, I wouldn't be happy to lend you a little extra money to buy the truck. If for you is to consider marrying a rosa. Is there nothing to do, Mr. Basker? I'm going to want just the one truck and not the two. No, wait, wait, Mr. Basker. I'm not going to use my $25 for a down payment. Go buy it. Wait, where are you going? To the truck company. From now on, I'm not going to deliver. Ah, here's the trucker place. Yeah. Hmm, a sign that says, a new and a used truck. See, Mr. Flenton? No, it's a Flenton. And this is the corner since 1921. Oh, Mr. Flenton, a corner since 1921. I guess you can all find an apartment there. Oh, here comes the money. Yes, can I help you? Yes, sure. I'm going to like to see Mr. Flenton. Tell her who's been on the call for 30 years. I'm Mr. Flenton. Oh, you, Mr. Oh, I'm a Luigi Basker. How do you do? Literally not so good. Oh. You see, Mr. Flenton, my business, ain't got so much to turn over because I'm an old kind deliver to the customer. So I'm thought to, maybe you're going to sell me a truck. I'll be glad to. What type of truck do you have in mind? Well, a regular type of with a four wheels. Couldn't you be more specific? We have all kinds of trucks here, Mr. Basker. Four trucks, platform trucks, sound trucks, lift trucks, and of course the trucks with the scoop and boom attachments. Please, I don't want a scoop and a boom. All I'm want is a plain little truck for carrying things for the customer. Aha. Well, do you do much business? Why? I'm trying to find out what sort of truck will best suit your needs, Mr. Basker. If you do a lot of business, you need a five- or eight-ton truck. And if you don't do that much business, I'd suggest a three- or four-ton truck. Just a five-ton truck. If you do that much business, I'd suggest a three- or four-ton truck. Just what does your business require? Well, require, huh? Where's it going now? Kitty car isn't too much. Well, I'm sure your business will get better. Well, take a look at some of these trucks in our lot, Mr. Basker. Which one do you like? Well, let me see now. Oh, is that the one over there? The one over there? That's a beautiful... I admire your taste, Mr. Basker. A little gas and oil. Oh, that's a good one. All right. Let's make a deal. That truck costs $3,000. That's a deal at $3,000? Oh, yes. Why? Mr. Flint, you better put down the cards and stop the dealin'. Oh, wait, wait. Do you take it out of payments or not? Oh, of course, of course. How much of a down payment are you prepared to make? $25. $25? Yeah. It's a Basko. You're joking? Mr. Flint. I'm a Nazi. Let's be serious. Even if we agreed to finance the deal through the bank or the auto club, you'd still have to lay out at least $1,000. Oh, one $1,000? Too much for your pocket? I'm not even a good pocket. Please, Mr. Flint. I'm going to get a something so I can deliver my antics to the customers. Otherwise, Mr. Jenkins and his are going to take her back all the stock next week. Maybe you're going to take him at $25, uh-huh? Don't forget, he's all the cash. I'm sorry, Mr. Basko. I'm afraid you just couldn't get a thing with the kind of money you got. Yeah, but there must be something. Oh, wait, wait. I'm going to get a big idea. Yes, sure. Why haven't I taken this before? Mr. Basko, believe me, you won't get a thing for $25. No, you're wrong, Mr. Flint. I'm going to get a great idea. I'm going to make the deliveries. Mr. Basko, I've got it, I've got it. What? The what, Luigi? You got the truck already? Here, Mr. Basko, come on outside. Look before yourself. Why, it's a big truck, Luigi. How many wheels? It went too far. What's that? That's the Basko, that's it. That's it for my deliveries. That's a horse and a wagon. Oh, it's my time to say, Mama Mia. To turn to life with Luigi, we'd like to mention that it's a good idea to chew Wrigley's Spearmint Gum while you work. You see, getting your teeth into a smooth piece of gum gives you a lot of satisfaction. It helps keep you from getting tense and jittery. So you naturally feel better and work better. Yes, friends, millions of men and women have found that chewing Wrigley's Spearmint Gum is a real help on the job. And they enjoy that refreshing, delicious Wrigley's Spearmint flavor, too. Try it and see for yourself. While you're working, slip a stick of Wrigley's Spearmint in your mouth. Chew it and enjoy it. You'll like what it does for you. And now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basko's letter to his mother-in-law. Well, Mama Mia, I'm about myself a horse and a wagoner for my $25. And right away, I'm gonna put up a big sign in the window. We deliver to your houses. This way means me and a horse. How are you sure to see the horse and Mama Mia? He's a look so beautiful, except if you want to think his back has got a bigger hole in the middle like a camel. And I'm gonna remember if this is how he was when I bought him, or if it's a happen after roses and sat down on him. But still, Mama Mia, the horses are bringing me luck. Because already today, I saw the three antiques which I'm a promise to deliver and you should see me delivering with my new horse. How proud I'm of her. All right, come on. Come on, Giuseppe. Come on, we gotta deliver the table by one o'clock. Come on, come on up the stairs. Up the stairs. That's it, boy. Come on. Mama Mia, Giuseppe is in no time to stop. Or maybe he's out of sugar. No, come on, come on. Go, please, Giuseppe. Don't stop now. That's it, boy. Now, come on up. Now, wait, wait, Giuseppe. Giuseppe, you passed the red light. Oh, Giuseppe, you passed it. Mama Mia, I wanted for horses a color blind. And Giuseppe, you should have never passed the red light. That's all right, but what are you gonna have to stop now? Come on, now, go ahead. Go ahead. Mama Mia, horses don't know where to go. Please, don't mad on me. Please, Giuseppe. Come on, let's go. Come on, all the traffic, everybody. Now, don't be mad. Don't be hurt. I'm not mean to nothing about it. Giuseppe, please, Giuseppe. Please, I'm apologizing. Come on, you're holding up traffic. Buy yourself a car. Giuseppe, please, Giuseppe. It's everybody. Don't, don't, don't. Don't hide it, Giuseppe. Don't, don't please it. What's the matter with you? It's the first of days of work for me. He's nervous. Oh, come on. Come on, Giuseppe. Be nice, horse. Come on. We all love you. Come on. No, no, no. Don't, Giuseppe. No. Mama Mia, now he's down. Loved you, my fellow boob. Hello, Schuch. Some hello. Sounds more like goodbye. Schuch is nothing but a trouble, a trouble and then a more trouble. Ah, what's the trouble, Luigi? Is your trouble got to do with that wagon you got standing outside the store? That's right, Schuch. Luigi. Now, you're gonna think I'm crazy, but I could assure I just heard a horse laughing in your bedroom. Schuch, you ain't a crazy. What? Luigi, you're joking. If you got to take it in borders, you're taking people, not horses. Schuch, the horse, he's in the back yard. You got the horse in the back yard? Schuch, Schuch, I got a horse in the wagon because the truck was too expensive to deliver antiques to the customer, but the one I must start to deliver horse take afternoon nap in the traffic. People, they all are bloody horns and then they have to me push a Giuseppe to the antique shop. Now Giuseppe's in the back yard and he's don't want to talk to nobody. And he's a little tired to work. Oh, Luigi, are you for shimmers? Luigi, why don't you join a booby hatch and lead a nice, quiet, normal life? Yeah, but the worst part of all is Schuch's the Mr. Jenkins, the Jabba. He's coming a few days, take back all the antiques because I'm gonna know how to turn over. Oh, God, it's bad. Then I'm gonna have no business and no Jabba, no, not in it. My, uh, smile, Luigi. If I see somebody who wants to buy it, a secondhand horse, I'm gonna call you. No, no, no, no, Schuch. What's the trouble, is it? Well, I'm a... I'm a fellin' lover with a Giuseppe and I'm a nook in a cellar. Ah, that's just like you, you little wiener schnitzel. Two legs, four legs. For you, a friend is a friend. Thank you, Schuch. But me, in Valschia, Luigi Schmeier, you'll be like me, always happy, always loving. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh! My rheumatism is killing me. Well, I'm... I'm about to go back and see what's going on. Hey, Luigi, where you going? Oh, hello, Pascualia. How was it just going in the back to see what Giuseppe's done? You know, I'm gonna feel sorry for him. That's a nice... cheery mum for Luigi. Ask him if it feels like a play in the game of Canazza. Oh, you, you had to get a horse. Yeah, well, come on, we're... we're gonna see what he's doing with Pascualia. The same with you. Hello, Giuseppe. See Pascualia? Oh, she likes him, yeah. Why not? You're treating him like a king. Looks like you got a ton of food laying around this yard. Yeah, but a horse was hungry, Pascualia, so I'm empty out of my ice box for him. You know, it's a cost a lot to feed a horse. Luigi, I had to make him real angry. If you're gonna support a horse, you're gonna support my daughter, Rosa. That's impossible, Pascualia. Besides, whoever heard of feeding a horse a bread and a butter and a milk and all that crazy stuff, you got out of here. That's terrible. If you want to keep the horse strong and healthy so it's gonna work for you, you got to feed him the real solid American food. Like what, Pascualia? A galley and a meat bar. I tell you what, I'm gonna bring him out a couple of pales and pull it from my restaurant and maybe a little red wine to wash it down. Well, all right, Pascualia, but another too much wine, huh? Maybe he's gonna be driving later. It's a big idea waking me up for two o'clock in the morning. Hey, Pascualia, come on, you better hurry up and the horses are gonna belly ache, you know, can't sleep. So what, to throw him a box of those short-eyed pills and tell him to go back to the bed? Hey, Pascualia, I'm gonna call up a horse doctor and I'm gonna find a telephone and book. But till he's come, maybe, maybe you're gonna do something, huh? Maybe I'm gonna do something. Yeah, sure. After all, the horses are gonna sink from your spaghetti and a meat bar. If that horse will tell you that a bigger lie, all right, all right. Pascualia, just look at him. Oh, poor as you said, he's a look terrible. And how? Even a max of fact, I couldn't make him a look of good. The whole is a mouth open, Luigi, so I can look in with this such a life. Yeah, but why you wanna look in his mouth, Pascualia? So I can account the meatballs. Stop asking stupid questions, try to open up his mouth. All right, I'll try, Pascualia. See, see, there's no use of Pascualia. He's the one who opened up his mouth. Why that? Well, because I'm gonna push him in the traffic today and Giuseppe is a promise himself. He's never gonna talk it to me. Look, Luigi, I've got a better thing to do than to hang around in your backyard at three o'clock in the morning holding hands with a sick horse. Here, but if Pascualia were here today, it's gonna be kind of humid to balls. And he won't be the first one. Now listen, Luigi, if you'll be gentlemen, I'm Dr. Shelley, I saw nobody in front. Oh, you're just in the time of doctor. And my horse, my poor horse, he's a very sick, he's a sufferer, terrible. No, no, no, don't cry, Giuseppe, don't cry. Nice doctor, he's gonna fix you up. Well, he doesn't seem to have any temperature. He isn't fretful or colicky. Has he been kicking up much? This horse only kicks when you ask him to work. Please, please, please. Doctor, all last night and tonight, there are poor horses and no lay down once even for a little nap. All he has to do is stand up there with his eyes closed. Mr. Vasco, some horses sleep standing up. Huh? Sure, very dope, you know, Zavato. Where's the horse that's gonna get enough money to buy himself a bed? Yeah, but a doctor, you think maybe the horses will feel bad because of the meat the balls that we was to give them a treat? Meat balls? Yeah. You should never force a horse to eat meat balls or any meat for that matter. You should feed him hay, oats, grain. Remember, horses are not carnivorous, they are herbivorous. But a doctor, if I'm gonna understand those words I wonder how the horses are gonna understand them. However, I have a suspicion about this horse. In just a minute, while I open up his mouth and have a look at the teeth, this horse wouldn't open up his mouth unless he got a 20-year contract from Gene Autry. Well, a lump of sugar will do the trick, just as I thought. Something is wrong with what is a teeth, huh? What teeth? Here's a nogata. No teeth. No one needs to complain about it, my meat balls. Mr. Basko, you own this animal, yet you didn't know he was completely toothless. How am I supposed to know? I'm gonna get this horse two days, but he's never smiled the once. There's no doubt about it. Mr. Basko, do you know what your horse is suffering from? What? Old age. Old age? Age? How old he is? Well, I should judge him to be, well, about 20 to 25 years of age. So what, if he's a little right, he can live to his 80 or 90? You don't seem to realize how old this horse is. At his present age, he's as old as a 90-year-old human. Oh, no, no. Doctor, what do you think I should do for him? Well, to begin with, you shouldn't let him work. I think that a horse is a good degree to that. That's what he stopped us. But if you want to do right by an animal that has seen long years of hard labor, you should see to it that he spends the last few years of his life in absolute rest, preferably in some warm climate where he can eat plenty of good, clean grass. Mamma mia, for the horse, I'm gonna close up my antique shop and move to Kentucky. Well, I'm leaving, Mr. Basko. You'll get my bill in the morning. Sure, all right. Good night, Doctor. It's not so funny, Pascuali. Luigi, look, you ought to do right by the horse, sir. Well, it's a big pity under him, Pascuali. All right, Luigi. I'm gonna make you a fair proposition. You marry my rose, sir. I'm gonna send a tree. Are you all expenses of pain on a honeymoon to Kentucky? Mamma got a better idea, Pascuali. I stay here and let the rose go with the horse. Don't be so ippity-puppety, Mr. Smart Alex. You were in a pretty bad spot to hear with this horse out of your hands. I'm the only one that can help you out. Now, be nicer to Rosa. No, Pascuali, please, please. Mamma got the horse to worry about. Well, look, look, Luigi. I see Rosa's a woke up, but she's a standing by the kitchen. I want her to roll. I'm gonna call her over. You can choose between Rosa and the horse. Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! I just told Luigi I'm a tru with him and he's a crazy horse of business. Right now, he's gotta pick it between the you and the horse. You agree with me, Rosa? Pascuali, I pick the horse. What's it gonna mean to finish it for you? I know, Pascuali. Luigi, if you would only listen and do the sensibility... Hold on, Mr. Pascuali. Mamma, may I see Mr. Jenkins? Please, I'm Mr. Jenkins. Give me some more time. I'm not gonna sell all you in. Mr. Pascuali, I noticed a wagon outside your store. Uh-huh, the wagon is a belonging to me. Mr. Pascuali, the antique department at Marshall Fields has been looking all over the country for a wagon like that. They're my biggest customers, you know, and if I could get it for you... Got a wagon? That's an antique. A genuine collector's item, one of the first Midwestern ice wagons. Mr. Jenkins, here I'll take a bag of your antiques for me and I'm gonna give you the wagon for nothing. Well, fine, Mr. Pascuali. The stock remains in your store. The wagon belongs to me. Is that the deal? That's the deal. That's the deal. Because I'm gonna feel so good, Mr. Jenkins, I'm also gonna give you a free of charge the oldest antique I've ever gotten in my store. Wonderful. And what's that? Maya horses, you said. And so, Mama Mia, Mr. Jenkins, he's a took away the horses you said. And I'm gonna get the one more chance to sell his antiques. Mama Mia, you're not gonna believe this, but even with all the trouble that horses have brought to me, I'm a missy marata. And just so I shouldn't feel too lonesome, I'm going in a Pascuali's now and it'll take a good look on the road. Do you understand, Luigi Vasco? For makers of Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum, hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they want to remind you that Wrigley's Spearman gum is a grand, inexpensive taste treat to bring home to your family. Children love the chew gum, and they really go for that lively, long-lasting Wrigley's Spearman flavor. Grown-ups know that chewing aids digestion and helps keep the teeth clean and bright. And they do enjoy the pleasant chewing and refreshing, delicious flavor of Wrigley's Spearman. So, treat yourself and your family often to Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum. It costs so little, and it tastes so good. For makers of Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum, invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Cy Howard production and is directed by Norman Macdonald. Mack Benoff writes the script with Lou Durm. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reed as the squally, Hans Conrader Schultz, and Jody Gilbert as Roach. Music is directed by Lud Bluff, Ralph Stevenson speaking at the CBS Columbia Broadcasting Center.