 CHAPTER 34 Ms. March Banks' guests, or at least the greater part of them, were at this moment enjoying themselves as usual, but yet there were a few who felt that something was going on more than met the eye. As for Lucilla herself, she had left all her cares behind her in the recess behind the window curtains, and was flitting about as usual, and proving herself the soul of the party. But still the eyes of some few initiated ones sought the dark corner in which Mr. Cavendish had disappeared as into an ogre's den. The clearest and most apparent explanation of the matter was that Ms. March Banks was reconciled to her earliest suitor, and that the Archdeacon, whom was also known in Grange Lane to have been paying attention to Lucilla, was beside himself with jealous fury. It was very improper for a clergyman, but still it was a pecan spectacle. And then nobody could be sure what had become of Mr. Cavendish, or that he was not being ill-used and trampled upon behind backs. As for the Archdeacon, he was standing before the fireplace with Dr. March Banks, and a host of other gentlemen. Mr. Beverly's countenance was covered with clouds and darkness. He stood not with the careless ease of a man amusing himself, but drawn up to his full height and breath, a formidable muscular Christian, in a state of repression and restraint which it was painful at the same time pleasing to see. The berserker madness was upon him, and yet such are the restraints of society, that a young woman's eye was enough to keep him down, Lucilla's eye, and the presence of a certain number of other frivolous creatures in white muslin, and of some old women as he irreverently called them, who were less pleasant, but not more imposing. He was an Archdeacon, and a leading man of his party, whose name alone would have conferred importance upon any movement, and whom his bishop himself, not to speak of the clergy whom he charged in his visitation, addresses, like a regiment of cavalry, stood a little in awe of. Yet such are the beneficial restraints of society, that he dared not follow his natural impulses, or even do what he felt to be his duty, for fear of Ms. March Banks, which was about the highest testimony to the value of social influence that could be given. At the same time, it was but natural, that under such circumstances, the Archdeacon should feel a certain savage wrath at the bond that confined him, and understand better than usual the false and tyrannical conventionalism called society. And it was at this moment of all times in the world, that General Travers, like a half-educated brute as, according to Mr. Beverly's ideas, he was, took the liberty of calling his attention to what the soldier called, a lot of pretty girls, and everything admirably got up by Jove, he added, not having the remotest idea what effects so simple an observation might produce. Yes, it is admirably got up, said the Archdeacon, with a snarl of concealed ferocity. You never said anything more profoundly true, it is all got up the women, and the decorations, and the gaiety, and all these specious seeming, and these creatures are made in the image of God, said the broad churchmen. The future wives and mothers of England, it is enough to make the devils laugh and the angels weep. It may be supposed that everybody was stricken with utter amazement by this unlooked-for remark. Dr. March Banks, for his part, took a pinch of snuff, which, as a general rule, he only did at consultations, or in the face of a difficulty, and as for the unlucky soldier who had called it forth, there can be no doubt that a certain terror filled his manly bosom, for he naturally felt as if he might have said something extraordinary to call forth such a response. I never was accused before of saying anything profoundly true, the general said, and he grew pale. I didn't mean it, I'm sure, if that is any justification. Where has Cavendish vanished, do I wonder? The soldier added, looking round him, scared and nervous, for it was evident that his only policy was to escape from the society in which he was thus liable to commit himself without knowing how. Female education is a monstrous mistake, said Mr. Beverly. Always has been, and so far as I can see always will be. Why should we do our best to make our women idiots? They are bad enough by nature. Instead of counterbalancing their native frivolity by some real instruction, good heavens! The critic paused. It was not that his emotions were too much for him. It was because the crowd opened a moment, and afforded him a glimpse of a figure in black silk, with a lace for which Ms. Marge Banks had stipulated, falling softly over a head, which had not quite lost its youthful grace. He gave a glance around him to see if the coast was clear. Lucilla was out of their way at the other end of the room, and he was free. He made but one stride through the unconscious assembly, which he had been criticizing so severely, and all but knocked down little Rose Lake, who was not looking at the archdeacon, though she stood straight in his way. He might have stepped over her head without knowing it, so much was he moved. All the gay crowd gave way before him with a cry and flutter, and Lucilla, for her part, was out of the way. But there are moments when to be out of the way is the highest proof of genius. Ms. Marge Banks had just had a cup of tea brought her, of which she had great need, and her face was turned in the other direction. But yet, she was aware that the archdeacon had passed like a berserker through ranks which were not the ranks of his enemies. She felt without seeing it that the wind of his going agitated his own large coat-tails in heavy locks, and made a perfect hurricane among the white muslin. Lucilla's heart beat quicker, and she put down her tea, though she had so much in need of it. She could not swallow the cordial at such a moment of excitement, but she never once turned her head, nor left off her conversation, nor betrayed the anxiety she felt. Up to this time she had managed everything herself, which was comparatively easy, but she felt by instinct that now was the moment to make a high effort and leave things alone, and it may be added that nothing but an inherent sense of doing the right thing under the circumstances could have inspired Ms. Marge Banks to the crowning achievement of keeping out of the way. When Mr. Beverly arrived in front of the two people who were seated together in the recess of the window, he made no assault upon them. As his manner might have suggested, on the contrary, he placed himself in front of them, with his back to the company, creating thus a most effectual moral and physical barrier between the little nook where his own private vengeance and fate were about to be enacted, and the conventional world which he had just been denouncing. The Archdeacon shut the two culprits off from all succor, and looked down upon them, casting them into profound shade. By this time he was as calm as passion could make him. I don't know what combination of circumstances has produced this meeting, he said, but the time is ripe for it, and I am glad it has happened. Mrs. Mortimer gave a little cry of terror, but her companion for his part sat quite dumb and immovable. The moment had arrived at last, and perhaps he too was glad it had come. He sat still, expecting to see the earth crumble under his feet, expecting to hear the humble name he had once borne proclaimed aloud, and to hear ridicule and shame poured upon the imposter, who had called himself one of the capendishes. But it was no use struggling any longer. He did not even raise his eyes, but sat still, waiting for the thunderbolt to fall. But to tell the truth, the Archdeacon, though atorant of words came rushing to his lips, felt a difficulty how to begin. I don't understand how it is that I find you here with a man who has ruined your prospects. He said, with a slight incoherence, and then he changed the direction of his attack. But it is you, with whom I have to do, he said, you, sir, who ventured to introduce yourself into society with your victim by your side. Do you not understand that compassion is impossible in such a case, and that it is my duty to expose you? You have told some plausible story here, I suppose, but nothing can stand against the facts. It is my duty to inform Dr. Marchbanks that it is a criminal who has stolen into his house in his confidence, that it is a conspirator who has ventured to approach his daughter, that it is a criminal, a conspirator, said Mr. Cavendish, and he looked in his accuser's face with an amazement which, notwithstanding his rage, struck the Archdeacon. If he had called him an imposter, the culprit would have quailed and made no reply. But the exaggeration saved him. After that first look of surprise, he rose to his feet and confronted the Avenger, who saw he had made a blunder without knowing what it was. You must be under some strange mistake, he said. What do you accuse me of? I know nothing about crime and conspiracy. Either you are strangely mistaken, or you have forgotten what the words mean. They are words which I mean to prove, said the Archdeacon. But there can be no doubt that his certainty was diminished by the surprise with which his accusation was received. It checked his first heat, and it was with a slightly artificial excitement that he went on, trying to work himself up again to the same point. You who worked yourself into a wretched old man's confidence, and robbed an unoffending woman, said Mr. Beverly, and then in spite of himself he stopped short, for it was easier to say such things to a woman who contradicted without giving much reason than to a man who, with an air of the utmost astonishment, stood regarding his accuser in the face. These are very extraordinary accusations, said Mr. Cavendish. Have you ever considered whether you had any proof to support them? He was not angry to speak of, because he had been entirely taken by surprise, and because at the same time he was unspeakably relieved, and felt that the real danger, the danger which he had so much dreaded, was past and gone, and indeed never had actually existed. He recovered all his coolness from the moment he found out that it was not a venial imposition practiced upon society, but a social crime of the ugliest character, of which he was accused. He was innocent, and he could be tranquil on that score. As for robbing Mrs. Mortimer, he added, with a little impatience, she knows on the contrary that I have always been most anxious and ready to befriend her, to befriend her, cried the Archdeacon, restored to all his first impetuosity. He could not swear, because it was against his cloth and his principles, but he said, Good heavens, in a tone which would have perfectly become a much less mild expletive, it is better we should understand each other thoroughly, he said. I am not in a humor for trifling. I consider it is her fortune which enables you to make an appearance here. It is her money you are living upon, and which gives you position, and makes you presumes, as you are doing, upon my forbearance. Do you think it possible that I can pass over all this, and let you keep what is not yours, if you choose to give up everything, and retire from Carlingford, and withdraw all your pretensions? It is not my part, said Mr. Beverly, with solemnity, taking breath, to deal harshly with a penitent sinner. It is my duty, as a clergyman, to offer you at least a place of repentance, after that. But he was interrupted once more. Mrs. Mortimer made her faint voice heard in a remonstrance. Oh, Charles, I always told you, I had no right to anything. Cried the terrified widow, but that was not what stopped the Archdeacon. It was because his adversary laughed that he stopped short. No doubt it was the metallic laugh of a man in great agitation, but still Mr. Beverly's ear was not fine enough at that moment to discriminate. He paused as a man naturally pauses at the sound of ridicule, still furious, yet abashed, and half conscious of a ludicrous aspect to his passion, and turned his full face to his antagonist, and stood at bay. It is a modest request, certainly, Mr. Cavendish said. Give up all I have, and all I am, and perhaps you will forgive me. You must think me a fool to make such a proposal. But look here, said the accused energetically. I will tell you the true state of affairs, if for once you will listen. I do it, not for my sake, nor for your sake. But for the sake of the women involved, he added hastily. And it was well for him that, instead of looking at the shrinking widow beside him as he said so, his eye had been caught by the eager eye of his sister, who was watching from her corner. With that stimulus he went on, calming himself down and somehow subduing and imposing upon the angry man by the mere act of encountering him fairly and openly. I will tell you what are the actual circumstances, and you can see the will itself if you will take the trouble, said the defendant, with a nervous moderation and self-restraint, in which there was also a certain thrill of indignation. The old man you speak of might have left his money to a more worthy person than myself, but he never meant to leave it to his grand-niece, and she knew that. He was neither his companion nor his nurse. There was nothing between them but a few drops of blood. For my part I gave him, but to be sure it would not interest you to know how I spent my youth. You came upon the scene like a man in a passion, Mr. Cavendish said, with an abrupt laugh, which this time was more feeble and proved that his composure was giving way. And misjudged everything as was natural. You are doing the same again or trying to do it, but you are a clergyman, and when you insult a man. I am ready to give him satisfaction, said the broad churchman, hotly, and then he made a pause, and that sense of ridicule which is latent in every Englishman's mind came to the Archdeacon's aid. He began to feel ashamed of himself, and at the same time his eye caught his own deflection in a mirror, and the clerical coat which contrasted so grotesquely with his offer of satisfaction. This has lasted long enough, he said, in his abrupt imperious way. This is not the place nor the time for such a discussion. We shall meet elsewhere. The Archdeacon added, austerely, with a significance, which it is impossible to describe. His air and his words were full of severe and hostile meaning, and yet he did not know what he meant any more than Mr. Cavendish did, who took him at his word and retired, and made an end of the interview. Whatever the Archdeacon meant, it was his adversary, who was the victor. He went off, threading his way through the curious spectators with a sense of relief that almost went the length of ecstasy. He might have been walking on his head for anything he knew. His senses were all lost and swallowed up in the overwhelming and incredible consciousness of safety. Where were they to meet elsewhere, with pistols in a corner of Carlingford Common, or perhaps with their fists alone, as Mr. Beverly was broad church? When a man has been near ruin and has escaped by hair-breath, he may be permitted to be out of his wits for a few minutes afterwards, and the idea of fighting a jewel with the dignitary of the church so tickled Mr. Cavendish that he had not the prudence to keep it to himself. You will stand by me if he calls me out, he said to General Travers as he passed, and the air of utter consternation with which the warrior regarded him drove Mr. Cavendish into such agonies of laughter that he had to retire to the landing place and suffocate himself to subdue it. If any man had said to him that he was hysterical, the chances are that it was he who would have called that man out, or at least knocked him down. But he had to steal downstairs afterwards and apply to Thomas for a cordial, more potent than tea. For naturally, when a man has been hanging over an abyss forever so long, it is no great wonder if he loses his head in balance when he suddenly finds himself standing on firm ground and feels that he has escaped. As for the arch-deacon, when the other was gone, he sat down silently on his abandoned chair. He was one of the men who take pride in seeing both sides of a question, and to tell the truth, he was always very candid about disputed points in theology and ready to entertain everybody's objection, but it was a different thing when the matter was a matter of fact. He put down his face into his hands and tried to think whether it was possible that what he had just heard might be the true state of the case. To be sure, the widow who was seated half-fainting by his side had given him the same account often enough, but somehow it was more effective from the lips of a man who confronted him than from the mild and weeping woman whom he loved better than anything else in the world, but whose opinion on any earthly or heavenly subject had not the weight of a straw upon him. He tried to take that view of it, and then it occurred to him that nothing was more ludicrous and miserable than the position of a man who goes to law without adequate reason or without proof to maintain his cause. Such a horrible divergence from everything that was just in right might be, as the well-known and highly esteemed Archdeacon Beverly might be held up for the amusement and edification of the country any time's leader, which was a martyrdom the Archdeacon would have rather liked than otherwise in a worthy cause, but not for a wretched private business connected with money. He sighed as he pondered, feeling as so many have felt, the difficulties which attend a good man's progress in this life. How that which is just is not always that which is expedient, and how the righteous have to submit to many inconveniences in order that the adversary may have no occasion to blaspheme. In this state of mind a man naturally softens toward a tender and wistful sympathizer close at hand. He sighed once more heavily and lifted his head and took into his own a soft pale hand which was visible near him among the folds of black silk. So you too have been brought into it, Helen. The Archdeacon said pathetically, I did not expect to see you here. It was Lucilla, said Mrs. Mortimer timidly. It was not any wish of mine. O Charles, if you would let me speak, if you will but forget all this and think no more about it. And I will do my best to make you hear the poor woman stopped short all at once. What she meant to have said was that she would make him a good wife, which nature and truth and the circumstances all prompted her to say as the only possible solution to the puzzle. But when she had got so far the poor widow stopped blushing and tingling all over with a sense of shame, more overwhelming than if she had done a wicked action. It was nothing but pure honesty and affection that prompted her to speak. And yet if it had been the vilest sentiment in human nature she would not have been so utterly ashamed. That was not what I meant to say. She cried with sharp and sudden retidiness and was not the least ashamed of telling a downright lie instead. But to tell the truth the Archdeacon was paying no particular attention. He had never loved any other woman but he was a little indifferent as to what innocent nonsense she might please to say. So that her confusion and misery and even the half-offer of herself which occasioned these feelings were lost upon him, he kept her hand and caressed it in the midst of his own thoughts as if it was a child's head he was patting. My poor Helen, he said, coming back to her when he found she had stopped speaking. I don't see why you should not come if this sort of thing is any pleasure to you. But afterwards he said reflectively he went to that sort of thing often himself and rather liked it and did not think of any afterwards. But perhaps the case of a weak woman was different or perhaps it was only that he happened to be after his downfall in a pathetic and reflective state of mind. Afterwards, said Mrs. Mortimer, she did not take the word in any religious or philosophical but in its nearest matter of fact meaning and she was sadly hurt and wounded to see that he had not even noticed what she said much as she had been ashamed of saying it. She drew away her hand with a quick movement of despite and mortification which filled Mr. Beverly with surprise. Afterwards I shall go back to my little house in my school and shut myself in and never, never come back again, you may be sure, said the widow with a rush of tears to her eyes. Why they did not fall or how she kept herself from fainting she who fainted so easily she never on reviewing the circumstances could tell and Ms. March Banks always attributed it to the fact that she was absent and there was no eudical loan on the table. But whatever the cause might be, Mrs. Mortimer did not faint and perhaps there never was anything so like despair and bitterness as at that moment in her mild little feminine soul. Never come back again, said the Archdeacon, rousing up a little and then he put out his large hand and took back the other as if it had been a pencil or a book that he had lost. All this, let it be known, was well in the shadow and could not be seen by the world in general to teach the young people a bad lesson. Why should you not come back? I am going away too, said Mr. Beverly and he stopped short and resisted the effort his prisoner made to withdraw. Oddly enough, at that moment his rectory rolled suddenly before him as in a vision. His rectory, all handsome and somber, without a soul in it, room after room, uninhabited and not a sound to be heard except that of his own foot or his servants. It was curious what connection there could be between that and the garden with its four walls and the tiny cottage covered with wisteria such as it was, it moved the Archdeacon to a singular end considering the place and moment rather in the chorus proceeding. Instead of contenting himself with a resisting hand he drew the widow's arm within his as they sat together. I'll tell you what we must do, Helen. He said confidentially, we must go back to Sonningdale together, you and I. I don't see the good of leaving you by yourself here. You can make what alterations you like when you get to the rectory and I shall let that person alone if you wish it with his ill-gotten gear. He will never come to any good, said the Archdeacon with some satisfaction and then he added in a parenthesis as if she had expressed some ridiculous doubt on the subject. Of course I mean that we should be married before we go away. It was in this rapid and summery manner that the whole business was settled. Naturally his companion had nothing to say against such a reasonable arrangement. She had never contradicted him in her life about anything but one thing and that being set aside there was no possible reason why she should begin now. End of Chapter 34 Recording by Marie Selquie. Chapter 35 This was how the crisis came to an end, which had been of so much interest to the parties immediately affected, though as for Carlingford in general or even Grange Lane, that past almost unperceived, attracting wonderfully little attention. Mrs. Woodburn had one of her nervous attacks next morning and was very ill and alarmed Dr. March Banks. But at her very worst moment the incorrigible mimic convulsed her anxious medical adviser and all her attendants by a sudden adoption of the character of Mrs. Mortimer, whom she must have made a careful study of the previous night. Tell him to tell him to go downstairs, cried the half-dead patient. I want to speak to him and he is not to hear. If he were not so thoughtless he would offer him some lunch at least. Mrs. Woodburn said, pathetically, with closed eyes and a face as pale as death, she never did anything better in her life, Dr. March Banks said afterwards, and Mr. Woodburn, who was fond of his wife in his way, and had been crying over her, burst into such an explosion of laughter that all the servants were scandalised. And the patient improved from that moment. She was perfectly well, and in the fullest force a week afterwards, when she came to see Lucilla, who had also been slightly indisposed for a day or two. When Thomas had shut the door and the two were quite alone, Mrs. Woodburn hugged Ms. March Banks with a fervour which up to that moment she had never exhibited. It was only necessary that we should get into full sympathy with each other as human creatures. She said, lifting her finger like the Archdeacon, and for all the rest of that autumn and winter, Mrs. Woodburn kept society in Carlingford in a state of inextinguishable laughter. The odd thing was that Ms. March Banks, who had been one of her favourite characters, disappeared almost entirely from her repertory. Not quite altogether, because there were moments of supreme temptation which the mimic could not resist, but as a general rule, Lucilla was the only woman in Carlingford who escaped the universal critic. No sort of acknowledgement passed between them of the obligations one had to the other and what was still more remarkable, no discussion of the terrible evening when Lucilla had held the Archdeacon with her eye and prevented the volcano from exploding. Perhaps Mrs. Woodburn, for her part, would have been pleased to have had such an explanation, but Ms. March Banks knew better. She knew it was best not to enter upon confidences which neither could ever forget and which might prevent them meeting with ease. In the midst of the little world which knew nothing about it, what Lucilla knew she knew and could keep to herself, but she felt at the same time that it was best to have no expansions on the subject. She kept it all to herself and made the arrangements for Mrs. Mortimer's marriage and took charge of everything. Everybody said that nothing could be more perfect than the bride's toilette, which was as nice as could be and yet not like a real bride, after all, a difference which was only proper under the circumstances, for she was married in lavender, poor soul, as was to be expected. You have not gone off the least bit in the world and it is quite a pleasure to see you. Lucilla said as she kissed her that morning and naturally all Carlingford knew that it was owing to her goodness that the widow had been taken care of and provided for and saved up for the Archdeacon. Ms. March Banks, in short, presided over the ceremony as if she had been Mrs. Mortimer's mother and superintended the wedding breakfast and made herself agreeable to everybody. And in the meantime, before the marriage took place, most people in Carlingford availed themselves of the opportunity of calling on Mrs. Mortimer. If she should happen to be the future bishop's lady and none of us ever to have taken any notice of her, somebody said with natural dismay. Lucilla did not discourage the practical result of the suggestion, but she felt an instinctive certainty in her mind that now Mr. Beverly would never be Bishop of Carlingford and indeed that the chances were Carlingford would never be elevated into a bishopric at all. It was not until after the marriage that Mr. Cavendish went away. To be sure he was not absolutely present at the ceremony but there can be no doubt that the magnificent Parure which Mrs. Mortimer received the evening before her marriage from an old friend which made everybody's mouth water and which she herself contemplated with mingled admiration in dismay was sent by Mr. Cavendish. Do you think it could be from him or only from him? The bride said bewildered and bewildering. I am sure he might have known I never should require anything so splendid. But Lucilla for her part had no doubt whatever on the subject and the perfect good taste of the offering made Ms. March Bank sigh, thinking once more that how much that was admirable was wasted by the fatal obstacle which prevented Mr. Cavendish from aspiring to anybody higher than Barbara Lake. As for the Archdeacon he found it very easy to satisfy his mind as to the donor of the emeralds. He put them away from him severely and did not condescend to throw a second glance at their deceitful splendor. Women are curiously constituted said Mr. Beverly who was still at the height of superiority though he was a bright groom. I suppose those sorts of things give him pleasure things which neither satisfy the body nor delight the soul. If it had been something to eat would it have pleased you better? Said Lucilla, moved for once in her life to be impertinent like an ordinary girl. For really when a man showed himself so idiotic as to despise a beautiful set of emeralds it went beyond even the well-known tolerance and compassionate good humor with which Ms. March Banks regarded the vagaries of the gentleman. There is a limit in all things and this was going too far. I said to satisfy the body Ms. March Banks. Said the Archdeegan which is an office very temporarily and inadequately performed by something to eat. I prefer the welfare of my fellow creatures to a few glittering stones even when they are around her neck. Mr. Beverly added with a little concession to the circumstances. Jewelry is robbery in a great town where there is always so much to be done and so little means of doing it to secure health to the people and education. Yes, said Ms. March Banks who knew in her heart that the Archdeegan was afraid of her. It is so nice of you not to say any of those dreadful sanitary words and I am sure you could make something very nasty and disagreeable with that diamond of yours. It is a beautiful diamond. If I were Helen I should make you give it to me said Lucilla sweetly and the Archdeegan was so much frightened by the threat that he turned his ring instinctively and quenched the glitter of the diamond in his closed hand. It was a present, he said hastily and went away to seek some better occupation than tilting with a women kind who naturally had possession of the bride's little house and everything in it at that interesting moment. It was the last evening of Lucilla's reign and she was disposed to take the full good of it and though Mrs. Mortimer's true soul was modest and not as Lydia Brown repeated like that of a real bride it was still voluminous enough to fill the room to overflowing where it was all being sorted and packed under Ms. Marchbank's eye. It is a very nice diamond indeed said Lucilla if I were you I should certainly make him give it to me rings are no good to a gentleman they never have nice hands you know though indeed when they have nice hands said Ms. Marchbank's reflectively it is a great deal worse for they keep always thrusting them under your very eyes it is curious why they should be so vain they talk of women Lucilla added with natural derision but my dear if I were you I would make him give it to me a nice diamond is always a nice thing to have Lucilla said the widow I am sure I don't know how to thank you for all you have done for me but dear if you please I would not talk like that the gentleman laugh but I am sure they don't like it all the same for indeed the bride thought it her duty having won the prize in her own person to point out to her young friend how to attain the same end she ought to behave Ms. Marchbank's did not laugh for her sense of humor as has been said was not strong but she kissed her friend with protecting tenderness my dear if that had been what I was thinking of I need to never have come home said Lucilla and her superiority was so calm and serene that Mrs. Mortimer felt entirely ashamed of herself for making the suggestion the widow was simple-minded and like most other women it gratified her to believe that here and there as in Ms. Marchbank's case there existed one who was utterly indifferent to the gentleman and did not care whether they were pleased or not which restored a little the balance of the world to the widow bride who felt with shame that she cared a great deal and was quite incapable of such virtue as for Lucilla herself she was not at that moment in conscious enjoyment of the strength of mind for which her friend gave her credit on the contrary she could not help a certain sense of surprise depression as she superintended the packing of the boxes the man had had it in his power to propose to her and he was going to be married to Mrs. Mortimer it was not that Lucilla was wounded or disappointed but that she felt it as a wonderful proof of the imperfection and weakness of human nature even in the nineteenth century which has learned so much such a thing was possible it filled her with a gentle sadness as she had the things put in and saw the emeralds safely deposited in their resting place not that she cared for the Archdeacon who had thus disposed of himself but still it was a curious fact that such a thing could be altogether it must be admitted that at this special moment Ms. Marchbank's occupied a difficult position she had given the Archdeacon to understand that Mr. Cavendish was a very particular friend and even when the danger was passed Lucilla scorned to acknowledge her pious prevarications during all this interval she continued so gracious to him that everybody was puzzled and Mrs. Woodburn even insisted on her brother after all making his proposal which would be better late than never I am sure she is fond of you said the softened mimic and that sort of thing doesn't matter to a woman as it does to a man for it has been already said that Mrs. Woodburn notwithstanding her lack of external discrimination had very little real knowledge of character yet even at moments Mr. Cavendish himself who ought to have known better was half tempted to believe that Lucilla meant it and the effect upon Dr. Marchbank's was still more decided than upon Mr. Cavendish he thought he saw in his daughter the indications of that weakness which is sometimes so surprising in women and it disturbed the doctor's serenity he actually tried to snub Lucilla on sundry occasions with that wonderful fatuity in which certain cases is common to men the last instance of this vain attempt occurred when the two were alone when dessert had just been placed on the table and Thomas had left the room I hope when this marriage is over people will recover their senses I hear of nothing else Dr. Marchbank said he took some chestnuts as he spoke and burned his fingers which did not improve his temper that sort of rubbish I suppose is much more interesting than attending to your natural duties the doctor added morosely which was not a kind of address which Ms. Marchbank's was used to hear Dear Papa said Lucilla if I attended to my duties ever so much I could not keep you from burning your fingers there are some things that people must do for themselves the dutiful daughter added with a sigh nobody could doubt who knew Lucilla that she would have gladly taken the world on her shoulders and saved everybody from those little misadventures but how could she help it if people absolutely would not take care of themselves the doctor smiled grimly but he was not satisfied he was on the contrary furious in a quiet way I don't need this time of day to be told how clever you are Lucilla said her father and I thought you had been superior to the ordinary folly of women Papa for heaven's sake cried Ms. Marchbank's she was really alarmed this time and she did not hesitate to let it be apparent I did not mean to say that I always do precisely what I ought to do said Lucilla nobody does that I know of but I am sure I never did anything to deserve that I never was superior and I hope I never shall be and I know I never pretended to it she said with natural horror for the accusation as everybody will perceive was hard to bear the doctor left again but with increased severity we understand all that he said I am not in the secret of your actions Lucilla I don't know what you intend or how far you mean to go the only thing I know is that I see that young fellow Cavendish a great deal oftener in the house and about it then I care to see him and I have allocation to say the same thing before I know nothing about his means said doctor Marchbank's his property may be in the funds but I think it a great deal more likely that he speculates I have worked hard for my money and I don't mean it to go in that way Lucilla I repeat I am not in the secret of your proceedings dear papa as if there was any secret said Lucilla fixing her candid eyes upon her father's face I might pretend I did not understand you if there was anything in what you say but I never go upon false pretenses when I can help it I am very fond of Mr. Cavendish she continued regretfully after a pause there is nobody in Carlingford that is so nice but I don't see whom he can marry except Barbara Lake Ms. Marchbank's would have scorned to conceal the unfeigned regrets which filled her mind when she uttered these words I am dreadfully sorry but I don't see anything that can be done for him she said and sighed once more as for the doctor he forgot all about his chestnuts and sat and stared at her thinking in his ignorance that it was a piece of acting and not knowing whether to be angry or to yield to the amusement which began to rise in his breast he may marry half a dozen Barbara Licks said Dr. Marchbank's and I don't see what reason we should have to interfere so long as he doesn't want to marry you that would be impossible papa said Lucilla with pensive gravity I am sure I am very very sorry she has a very nice voice but a man can't marry a voice you know and if there was anything that I could do I am not sure that he ever wished for that either Ms. Marchbank's added with her usual candor it is odd but for all that it is true for it was a moment of emotion and she could not help giving utterance to the surprise with which this consideration naturally filled her mind what is odd and what is true said Dr. Marchbank's growing more and more bewildered but Lucilla only put aside her plate and got up from her chair not anymore wine thank you she said I know you don't want me anymore and I have so much to do I hope you will let me invite Barbara here when they are married and pay her a little attention for nobody likes her in Grange Lane and it would be so hard upon him the more I think of it the more sorry I am said Lucilla he deserved better than that papa but as for me everybody knows what is my object in life thus Ms. Marchbank's left the table leaving her father in a singular state of satisfaction and surprise he did not believe a word of what she had been saying with that curious perversity common to the people who surrounded Lucilla and which arose not so much from doubt to ferveracity as from sheer excess of confidence in her powers he thought she had foiled him in a masterly manner and that she was only as people say amusing herself and had no serious intentions and he laughed quietly to himself when she left him in the satisfaction of finding there was nothing in it Ms. Marchbank's for her part went on tranquilly with the arrangements for the marriage one by one she was disembarrassing herself from the complications which had grown round her during the first year of her reign in Carlingford and now only the last links of the difficulty remain to be unrolled the explanation she had with Mr. Cavendish himself was in every way more interesting it happened pretty late one evening when Lucilla was returning with her maid from the widow's little cottage which was so soon to be deserted she was just at that moment thinking of the wisteria which had grown so nicely and of all the trouble she had taken with the garden nobody could tell who might come into it now after she had done so much for it and Ms. Marchbank's could not but have a momentary sense that on the whole it was a little ungrateful on the part of Mrs. Mortimer when everybody had taken such pains to make her comfortable at this moment indeed Lucilla was slightly given to moralizing though with her usual wisdom she kept her meditations to herself she was thinking with a momentary vexation of all the plants that had been put into the beds and of so much time and trouble lost when Mr. Cavendish came up to her it was a cold evening and there was nothing in common between this walk and the walk they had taken together from Grove Street to Grange Lane on an earlier occasion but this time so far from being reluctant to accompany her Mr. Cavendish came to her side eagerly the maid retired a little behind and then the two found themselves in that most perfect of all positions for mutual confidence a street not too crowded and noisy all shrouded in the darkness and yet twinkling with the friendly lights of an autumn evening nothing could have been more perfect than their isolation from the surrounding world if they thought proper to isolate themselves and yet it was always there to be taken refuge in if the confidence should receive a check or the mind of the chance companions change i have been trying to catch a glimpse of you for a long time said Mr. Cavendish after they had talked a little in the ordinary way as everybody was doing in Grange Lane about the two people hence forward to be known in Carlingford as the Beverly's but you are always so busy serving everybody and i have a great deal to say to you that i don't know how to say then don't say it please said Lucilla it is a great deal better not it might be funny you know but i am not disposed to be funny tonight i am very glad about mrs mortimer to be sure that she is to be settled so nicely and that they are going to be married at last but after all when one thinks of it it is a little vexatious just when her house was all put to rights and the garden looking so pretty and the school promising so well said Lucilla and there was a certain aggrieved tone in her voice and it is you who have done everything for her as for all the rest of us said mr. Cavendish though he could not help laughing a little and then he paused and his voice softened in the darkness by Lucilla's side do not let us talk of mrs mortimer he said i sometimes have something just on my lips to say and i do not know whether i dare say it miss march banks and here he came to a pause he was fluttered and frightened which was what she and not he ought to have been and at the bottom of his heart he did not wish to say it which gave far more force to his hesitation than simply a doubt whether he might dare perhaps lucilla's heart fluttered too with a sense that the moment which once would not have been an unwelcome moment had at last arrived her heart it is true was not very particularly engaged but still she was sensible of all mr. Cavendish's capacities and was very fond of him as she said and her exertions on his behalf had produced their natural effect and moved her affection so little she made an involuntary pause for the hundredth part of a minute and reckoned it all up again and asked herself whether it were possible there was something in the first place becoming insuitable in the idea that she who was the only person who knew his secret should take him and it together and make the best of them and lucilla had the consciousness that she could indeed make a great deal of mr. Cavendish nobody had ever crossed her path of whom so much could be made and as for any further danger of his real origin and position being found out and exposed to the world miss march banks was capable of smiling at that when the defense would be in her own hands she might yet accept him and have him elected member for carlingford and carry him triumphantly through all his difficulties for a small part nay even for the half of a minute lucilla paused and made a rapid review of the circumstances and reconsidered her decision perhaps if mr. cavendish had been really in earnest that which was only a vague possibility might have become in another minute a fact and real it was about the first time that her heart had found anything to say in the matter and the fact was that it actually fluttered in her reasonable bosom and experienced a certain malaise which was quite new to her was it possible that she could be in love with mr. cavendish or was it merely the excitement of a final decision which made that unusual commotion far away down at the bottom of lucilla's heart however that might be miss march banks triumphed over her momentary weakness she saw the possibility and at the same moment she saw that it could not be and while mr. cavendish hesitated she who was always prompt and ready made up her mind i don't know what i have done in particular either for her or the rest of you she said ignoring the other part of her companion's faltering address except to help to amuse you but i'm going to do something very serious and i hope you will show you are grateful as you say though i don't know what you have to be grateful about by paying great attention to me mr. cavendish i am going to give you good advice said lucilla and notwithstanding her courage she too faltered a little and felt that it was rather a serious piece of business that she had taken in hand advice mr. cavendish said like an echo of her voice but that was all he found time to say we are such old friends that i know you won't be vexed said lucilla and then we understand each other it is so nice when two people understand each other they can say quantities of things that strangers cannot say mr. cavendish you and barbara are in love said lucilla making a slight pause and looking in his face miss marge banks cried the assaulted man in the extremity of his amazement and horror as for lucilla she came a little closer to him and shook her head in a maternal semi-reproving don't say you are not said miss marge banks you never could deceive me not in anything like that i saw it almost as soon as you met they are not rich you know but they are very nice mr. lake and rose said lucilla with admirable prudence keeping off the difficult subject of barbara herself are the two very nicest people i know and everybody says that willy is dreadfully clever i hope you will soon be married and that you will be very happy she continued with an effort it was a bold thing to say and lucilla's throat contracted a little as if to prevent the words from getting utterance but then she was not a person when she knew a thing was right to hesitate about doing it and in miss marge banks mind duty went before all as has already been on several occasions said after this a horrible silence fell upon the two a silence which like darkness could be felt the thunderbolt fell upon the victim's unprotected head without any warning the idea that lucilla would talk to him about barbara lake was a very last that could have entered mr. kabindish's mind he was speechless with rage and mortification and despite he took it for an insult inflicted upon him in cold blood doing lucilla as much injustice as the other people who took the candid expression of her sentiments for a piece of acting he was a gentleman not withstanding his doubtful origin and civilized down to his very fingertips but he would have liked to have knocked miss march banks down though she was a woman and yet as she was a woman he dared not for his life make any demonstration of his fury he walked along by her side down into the respectable solitude of grange lane passing through a bright bit of george street and seeing a scans by the light from the shop windows his advisor walking beside him with the satisfaction of a good conscience in her face this awful silence lasted until they reached dr. march banks door thank you for coming with me so far said lucilla holding out her hand i suppose i must not ask you to come in though papa would be delighted to see you i am afraid you are very angry with me miss march banks added with a touch of pathos but you may be sure i would always stand by you and i said it because i thought it was for the best on the contrary i am much obliged to you said mr. cabinet with quiet fury and deeply touched by the interest you take in my happiness you may be sure i shall always be grateful for it and for the offer of your support said the ungrateful man with the most truculent meaning as for miss march banks she pressed quite kindly the hurried hand with which he touched hers and went in still saying good night she had done her duty whatever might come of it he rushed home furious but she went to a little worsted work with a minded peace with itself in all men she was gentler than usual even to the maids who always found miss march banks a good mistress and felt a little sad in the solitude of her genius for it is true that to be wiser and more enlightened than one's neighbors is in most cases a weariness to the flesh she had made a sacrifice and nobody appreciated it instead of choosing a position which pleased her imagination and suited her energies and did not go against her heart lucilla moved by the wisest discretion had decided not without regret to give it up she had sacrificed her own inclination and the sphere in which her abilities would have had the fullest scope to what she believed to be the general good and instead of having the heroism acknowledged she was misunderstood and rewarded within gratitude when miss march banks found herself alone in the solitude of her drawing room and in the still greater solitude as we have said of her genius she felt a little sad as was natural but at the same moment there came into lucilla's mind a name a humble name which has been often pronounced in the pages of this history and it gave her once more a certain consolation a sympathetic presence seemed to diffuse itself about her in her loneliness there are moments when the faith of a very humble individual may save a great soul from discouragement and the consciousness of being believed in once more came with the sweetest and most salutary effect upon lucilla's heart end of chapter 35 recording by mary selqui chapter 36 of miss march banks this is a liber vox recording all liber vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liber vox.org miss march banks by mrs. olefant chapter 36 it was the very day after the marriage and two or three days after this conversation that mr. kabendish left carlingford he went to spend the winter in italy which had long been a dream of his as he explained to some of the young ladies most of whom had the same dream without the enviable power of carrying it out he made very brief and formal adieu to lucilla to the extreme amazement of all the surrounding world and then disappeared leaving just at the moment after the excitement of the marriage was over when grange lanes stood most in need of somebody to rouse his drooping spirits a wonderful blank behind him lucilla said much less about her feelings on this occasion than she was in the habit of doing but there could be no doubt that she felt it and felt it acutely and the worst of it was that it was she who was universally blamed for the sudden and unexplained departure of the most popular man in carlingford some people thought he had gone away to escape from the necessity of proposing to her and some of the more friendly and charitable disposition believed with mrs. chile that lucilla had refused him and some who were mostly outsiders and of a humble class were of opinion that miss march banks had exercised all her influence to send mr. kabendish out of the way of barbara lake it was with this impression that rose made her way one of those foggy autumn mornings through the fallen leaves with which the garden was carpeted to see if any explanation was to be got from lucilla the art inspectors from malboro house had just paid her annual visit to carlingford and had found the female school of design in a condition which as they said in their report warranted the warmest in comiums and rose had also won a prize for her bail in the exhibition at kensington of ornamental art these were triumphs which would have made the little artists overwhelmingly happy if they had not been neutralized by other circumstances but as it was they only aggravated the difficulties of the position in which she found herself she came to lucilla in a bonnet a circumstance which of itself was solemn and ominous for generally that portentous article of dress which was homemade and did not consist with cheerful dispositions was reserved by rose for going to church and her soft cheeks were pale and hazel eyes more juvie than usual though it was the rain and not you that had been falling from them during these last painful days i am ashamed to ask you such a question said rose but i want you to tell me lucilla if you know why mr. cavendish has gone away she will not come and ask you herself or rather i would not let her come for she is so passionate one does not know what she might not do you have behaved a little strange lucilla said the straightforward rose if he cared for her and she cared for him you had no right to come and take him away my dear i did not take him away said miss march banks i had to talk to him about some business that was all it is disgraceful of barbara to bother you about it who are only a baby and often to know anything lucilla cried rose with flashing eyes i am 17 and i will not put up with it any longer it is all your fault what right had you to come and drag us to your great parties we are not as rich as you nor as fine but we have a rank of our own cried the little artist you have a great deal more money but we have some things that money cannot buy you made barbara come and sing and put things into her head and you made me come though i did not want to why did you ask us to your parties lucilla it is all your fault lucilla was in a subdued state of mind as may have been perceived and answered quite meekly i don't know why you should all turn against me like this she said more sadly than surprised it is unkind of you to say it was my fault i did not expect it from you when i have so many vexations miss march banks added she sat down as she spoke after being repulsed by rose with an air of depression which was quite unusual to her for to be blamed and misunderstood on all sides was hard for one who was always working in the service of her fellow creatures and doing everything for the best as for rose her heart smoothed her on the instant have you vexations lucilla she said in her innocence it was the first time such an idea had entered into her mind i don't think i have anything else said lucilla though even as she said it she began to recover her spirits i do all i can for my friends and they are never pleased and when anything goes wrong it is always my fault perhaps if you were not to do so much rose began to say for she was in her way a wise little woman but her heart smote her again and she restrained the truism and then after a little pause she resumed her actual business i am ashamed to ask you but do you know where mr. cavendish is lucilla said rose she's breaking her heart because he has gone away did he never go to say goodbye nor anything asked miss march banks she was sorry for it was quite the contrary of the advice she had given but still it would be wrong to deny that mr cavendish rose still higher in lucilla's opinion when she heard it i don't know any more than everybody knows he has gone to italy but he will come back and i suppose she can wait miss march banks added with perhaps a touch of contempt for my part i don't think she will break her heart it is because you do not know her said rose with some indignation for at 17 a broken heart comes natural oh lucilla it is dreadful and i don't know what to do cried the little artist changing her tone i am a selfish wretch but i cannot help it it is as good as putting an end to my career and just after my design has been so successful and when papa was so proud and when i thought i might have been a help it is dreadful to think of oneself when her heart is breaking but i shall have to give up everything and i i can't help feeling it lucilla cried rose with a sudden outburst of tears all this was sufficiently unintelligible to miss march banks who was not the least in anxiety about barbers breaking heart tell me what is the matter and perhaps we can do something said lucilla forgetting how little her past exertions had been appreciated and rose with equal inconsistency dried her tears at the sound of miss march banks reassuring voice i know i am a wretch to be thinking of myself she said she cannot be expected to stay and sacrifice herself for us after all she has suffered she has made up her mind and advertised in the times and nothing can change it now she is going out for a governess lucilla going for a what said miss march banks who could not believe her ears for a governess said rose calmly for those she had been partly brought up at mount pleasant she had not the elevated idea of an instructor of youth which might have been expected from a pupil of that establishment she has advertised in the times rose added with quiet despair with no objections to travel i would do anything in the world for barbara but one can't help thinking of one's self sometimes and there is an end of my career when she had said this she brushed the last tear off her eyelashes and sat straight up a little martyr and heroic victim to duty her eye though fixed on empty space beamed keen with honor but still there was a certain desperation in the composure with which rose regarded after the first outburst the abandonment of all her hopes she's a selfish thing said lucilla indignantly she always was a selfish thing i should like to know what she can teach anybody if i were you and your papa i certainly would not let her go away i don't see any reason in the world why you should give in to her and let her stop your your career you know why should you i would not give in to her for one moment if i were your papa and you why should i said rose because there is nobody else to do anything lucilla flada and dreda are such two little things and there are all the boys to think of and poor papa it is of no use asking why if i don't do it there will be nobody to do it said rose with big tears coming to her eyes her career was dear to her heart and those two tears welled up from the depths but then there would be nobody else to do it a consideration which continually filters out the people who are good for anything out of the muddy current of the ordinary world and your pretty drawings and the veil and the school of design cried lucilla you dear little rose don't cry it never can be permitted you know she cannot teach anything and nobody will have her she is a selfish thing though she is your sister and if i were your papa and you it would be no good said rose she will go whatever anybody may say she does not care said the little martyr and the two big tears fell making two big round blotches upon the strings of that bonnet which lucilla had difficulty in keeping her hands off but when she had thus expressed her feelings rose relented over her sister she has suffered so much here how can anyone ask her to sacrifice herself to us said the young artist mournfully and i am quite happy said rose quite happy it makes all the difference it is her heart you know lucilla and it is only my career and this time the tears were dashed away by an indignant little hand Barbara's heart if she had such an organ had never in its existence cost such bitter drops but as for lucilla what could she do she could only repeat if i was your papa and you with a melancholy sense that she was here balked and could do no more for even the aid of miss march banks was us nothing against dead selfishness and folly the two most invincible forces in the world instead of taking the business into her own hands and carrying it through triumphantly as she had hit her to bin in the habit of doing lucilla could only minister to the sufferer and keep up her courage and mourn over the career thus put in danger Barbara's advertisement was in the newspapers and her foolish mind was made up and the hope that nobody would have her was a forlorn hope for somebody always does have the incapable people as miss march banks was well aware and the contralto had been of some use in grange lane and a little in grove street and it would be difficult either in the one sphere or the other to find anyone to fill her place it was thus amid universal demolition that christmas approached and miss march banks ended the first portion of her eventful career end of chapter 36 recording by maricel quay chapter 37 of miss march banks this is a libra vox recording all libra vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libravox.org miss march banks by mrs. olefant chapter 37 one fit of lucilla's history is here ended and another is to be told we have recorded her beginning in all the fullness of youthful confidence and undaunted trust in her own resources and have done our best to show that in the course of organizing society miss march banks like all other benefactors of their kind had many sacrifices to make and had to undergo the mortification of finding out that many of her most able efforts turned to other people's profit and went directly against herself she began the second period of her career with to some certain extent that sense of failure which is inevitable to every high intelligence after a little intercourse with the world she had succeeded in a great many things but yet she had not succeeded in all and she had found out that the most powerful exertions in behalf of friends not only fail to procure their gratitude but sometimes convert them into enemies and do actual harm which is a discovery which can only be made by those who devote themselves as miss march banks had done to the good of the human species she had done everything for the best and yet it had not always turned out for the best and even the people who had been most ready to appeal to her for assistance in their need had proved the readiness to accuse her when something disagreeable happened and to say it was your fault in the second stage of her progress miss march banks found herself with a great responsibility upon her shoulders with nearly the entire social organization of carling for depending upon her and at the same time with her means of providing for the wants of her subjects sensibly diminished and her confidence in the resources of the future impaired to an equal degree one thing was sure that she had taken the work upon her shoulders and that she was not the woman to draw back whatever the difficulties might be she did not beat a jot of her courage though the only buoyancy of hope had departed never to return it is true that she was not so joyful and triumphant a figure as when she conquered Nancy and won over dr. March banks and electrified mr. Holden by choosing curtains which suited her complexion but with her diminished hopes and increased experience and unabated courage no doubt miss march banks presented a still nobler and more imposing aspect to everybody who had an eye for moral grandeur though it would be difficult to tell how many of such worthy spectators existed in grange lane there was as our readers are aware another subject also on which lucilla had found her position altered it was quite true that had she been thinking of that she never need have come home at all and that in accepting new furniture for the drawing room she had to a certain extent pledged herself not to marry immediately but to stay at home and be a comfort to her dear papa this is so delicate a question that it is difficult to treat it with a freedom necessary for a full development of a not unusual state of mind most people are capable of falling in love only once or twice or at the most a very few times in their life and disappointed and heartbroken suitors are not so commonly to be met with as perhaps could be wished but at the same time there can be little doubt that the chief way in which society is supposed to signify its approval and admiration and enthusiasm for a lady is by making dozens of proposals to her as maybe ascertained from all the best informed sources when a woman is a great beauty or is very brilliant and graceful or even is only agreeable and amusing the ordinary idea is that the floating men of society in number less or more according to the lady's merits proposed to her though she may not perhaps accept any of them in proportion as her qualities rise towards the sublime these victims are supposed to increase and perhaps to tell the truth no woman feels herself set at her true value until some poor man or a set of men have put as people say their happiness into her hands it is as we have said a delicate subject to discuss for the truth is that this well-known and thoroughly established reward of female excellence had not fallen to mismatch banks lot there was Tom to be sure but Tom did not count and as for the other men who had been presented to Lucilla as eligible candidates for her regard none of them had given her this proof of their admiration the year had passed away and society had laid no tribute of this description upon Lucilla's shrine the Archdeacon had married Mrs. Morsimer instead and Mr. Cavendish had been led away by Barbara Lake after such an experience nothing but the inherent sweetness and wholesome tone of Ms. March Bank's character could have kept her from that cynicism and disbelief in humanity which is so often the result of knowledge of the world as for Lucilla she smiled as she thought of it not cynically but with a sweetly melancholy smile what she said to herself was poor men they had had the two ways set before them and they had not chosen the best it made her sad to have this proof of the imperfection of human nature thus thrust upon her but it did not turn her sweet into bitter as might have been the case with a more ordinary mind notwithstanding that this universal reward which in other cases is as everybody knows given so indiscriminately and with such liberality had altogether failed in her case Lucilla still resumed her way with a beautiful constancy and went forward in the face of fate undaunted and with a smile it was thus that she began the second period of her career up to this moment there had never been a time in which it was not said in carlingford that someone was paying attention to Ms. March Bank's but at present no one was paying attention to her there were other marriages going on around her and other preliminaries of marriage but nobody had proposed to Lucilla affairs were in this state when she took up her yoke again boldly and set out a new upon her way it was a proof of magnanimity and philanthropy which nobody could have asked from her if Lucilla had not been actuated by higher motives than those that sway the common crowd without any assistance but that of her own genius without the stimulating applause of admirers such as a woman in such circumstances has a right to calculate upon with no sympathizing soul to fall back upon and nothing but a dull level of ordinary people before her Ms. March Bank's undaunted put on her harness and resumed her course the difficulty she had met only made her more friendly more tender to those who were weaker than herself and whom evil fortune had disabled in the way when Barbara Lake got her situation and went out for a governess and roses fears were realized and she had with bitter tears to relinquish her career Lucilla went and sat whole afternoons with the little artist and gave her the handiest assistance and taught her a great many things which she never could have learned at the school of design and the effect of this self-abnegation was that Lucilla bore general Traverse's decision and gave up all hope of the officers with a stout-heartedness which nobody could have looked for and did not hesitate to face her position boldly and to erect her standard and to begin her new campaign unaided and unappreciated as she was people who know no better may go away upon marriage tours or they may fly off to foreign travel or go out as governesses when all things do not go just as they wish but as for Ms. March Bank's she stood bravely at her post and scorned to flinch or run away it was thus that was commenced amid mists of discouragement and in an entire absence of all that was calculated to stimulate and exhilarate the second grand period which was destined to conclude under very different circumstances of Lucilla's life all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Ms. March Bank's by Mrs. Oliphant Chapter 38 it would be vain to follow Lucilla in detail through her consistent and admirable career nor is it necessary to say that she went unsteadily in face of all her discouragements with that mixture of success and failure which comes natural to all human affairs the singular thing about it was that the years passed on and that she was permitted by the world in general to fulfill her own promise and prophecy about remaining 10 years at home to be a comfort to her dear papa she had been 19 when she began her career and she was 9 and 20 when that little episode occurred with young Dr. Ryder before he was married to his present wife there would have been nothing in the least unsuitable in a marriage between Dr. Ryder and Ms. March Bank's though people who were the best informed never thought either of them had any serious meaning but of course the general public having had Lucilla for a long time before their eyes naturally added on seven or eight years to her age and concluded her to be a great deal older than the young doctor though everybody allowed that it would have been a most advantages match for him in every possible point of view but however it did not come to anything no more than a great many other nibbles of the same kind did the period arrived at which Lucilla had thought she might perhaps have begun to go off in her looks but still there was no immediate appearance of any change of name or condition on her part many people quite congratulated themselves on the fact as it was impossible to imagine what might be the social condition of Grange Lane without Ms. March Banks but it is doubtful whether Lucilla congratulated herself she was very comfortable no doubt in every way and met with little opposition to speak of and had things a great deal more in her own hands than she might have had had there been a husband in the case to satisfy but notwithstanding she had come to an age when most people have husbands and when an independent position in the world becomes necessary to self-respect to be sure Lucilla was independent but then there is a difference as everybody knows and Ms. March Banks could not but feel that the world had not shown that appreciation of her to which in her earlier days she looked forward with so little fear the 10 years as they had really gone by were very different from the 10 years she had looked forward to when in the triumph of her youth she named that period as the time when she might probably begin to go off and would be disposed to marry by this time the drawing room carpets and curtains had faded a little and Lucilla had found out that a delicate pale green which suited her complexion was not to call a profitable color and nobody could have thought or said that to marry at this period would be in the least degree to swindle the doctor thus the moment had arrived to which she looked forward but the man had not arrived with it 10 years had passed during which she had been at the head of society in Grange Lane and a great comfort to her dear papa and now if there remained another development for Lucilla's character it was about time that it should begin to show itself but at the same time the main element necessary for that new development did not seem at present likely to be found in Grange Lane unless indeed it might happen to be found in the person of Mr. Ashburton who was so often in Carlingford that he might be said to form a part of society there it was he who was related to the richmen's who as everybody knows were a family much respected in the county he had been at the bar and even begun to distinguish himself before old Miss Penrin died and left him the first he had begun to distinguish himself but he had not it appeared gone so far as to prevent him from coming down to his new property and settling upon it and taking his place as a local notability he was not a man who could be expected to care for evening parties in a provincial town but he never refused to dine with Dr. March Banks and was generally popular upstairs where he always paid a little attention to Lucilla though nothing very marked and noticeable Mr. Ashburton was not like Mr. Cavendish for instance if anybody remembered Mr. Cavendish a man whose money might be in the funds but who more probably speculated everybody knew everything about him which was an ease to the public mind the first was as well known as Carlingford steeple and how much it was worth a year and everything about it and so was the proprietors pedigree which could be traced to a semi-mythical personage known as old Penrin whose daughter was Sir John Richmond's grandmother the first it is true had descended in the female line but still it is something to know where a man comes from even on one side Mr. Ashburton made himself very agreeable in the neighborhood and was never above enlightening anybody on a point of law he used to say that it was kind to give him something to do which was an opinion endorsed practically by a great many people it is true that some of his neighbors wondered much to see his patience and could not make out why he chose to rusticate at the first at his age and with his abilities but either he never heard these wanderings or at least he never took any notice of them he lived as if he liked it and settled down and presented to all men an aspect of serene contentment with his sphere and it would be difficult to say what suggestion or association it was which brought him all of a sudden into Ms. March Bank's head one day when seeing a little commotion in master's shop she went in to hear what it was about the cause of the commotion was an event which had been long expected and which indeed 10 years before had been looked on as a possible thing to happen any day the wonder was not that old Mr. Chiltern should die but that he should have lived so long the ladies in master's cried poor dear old man and said to each other that however long it might have been expected a death always seemed sudden at the last but to tell the truth the stir made by this death was rather pleasant than sad people thought not of the career which was ended but of the one which must now begin and of the excitement of an election which was agreeable to look forward to as for Lucilla when she too had heard the news and had gone on upon her way it would be vain to assert that a regretful recollection of the time when Mr. Cavendish was thought a likely man to succeed Mr. Chiltern did not occur to her but when Ms. March Banks had dismissed that transitory thought Mr. Ashburton suddenly came into her head by one of those intuitions which have such an effect upon the mind that receives them Lucilla was not a very marked political opinions and perhaps was not quite aware what Mr. Ashburton's views were on the Irish church question or upon parliamentary reform but she said after that it came into her mind in a moment like a flash of lightning that he was the man the idea was so new and so striking that she turned back and went in the excitement of the moment to suggest it to mrs. Charlie and see what her old friend and the carnal would say of course if such a thing was practicable there was no time to lose she turned round quickly according to her prompt nature and such was her absorbed interest in the idea of Mr. Ashburton that she did not know until she had almost done it that she was walking straight into her hero's arms oh mr. Ashburton said Lucilla with a little scream is it you my mind was quite full of you i could not see you for thinking do come back with me for i have something very particular to say to me said mr. Ashburton looking at her with a smile and a sudden look of interest for it is always slightly exciting to the most philosophical mortal to know that somebody else's mind is full of him what you have said already is so flattering i did not mean anything absurd said miss marge banks don't talk any nonsense please mr. Ashburton do you know that old mr. Chiltern is dead Lucilla put the question solemnly and her companion grew a little red as he looked at her it is not my fault he said though he still smiled and then he grew rather and rather though he ought to have been above showing these signs of emotion and looked at her curiously as if he would seize what she was going to say out of her eyes or her lips before it was said it is not anything to laugh about said Lucilla he was a very nice old man but he is dead and somebody else must be a member for carlingford that was why i told you that my mind was full of you i am not in the least superstitious said miss marge banks solemnly but when i stood there just in front of mr. Holden's you came into my mind like flash of lightning i was not thinking of you in the least and you came into my mind like like minerva you know it was not an intimation i don't know what it was and that was why i ran against you and did not see you were there mr. Ashburton it is you who must be the man said lucilla it was not a thing to speak lightly about and for her part she spoke very solemnly and as for mr. Ashburton his face flushed deeper and deeper he stood quite still in the excitement of the moment as if she had given him a blow miss marge banks i don't know how to answer you he cried and then he put out his hand in an agitated way and grasped her hand you are the only creature in carlingford man or woman that has divined me he said in a trembling voice it was a little public at the top of grange lane where people were liable to pass at every moment but still miss marge banks accepted the pressure of the hand which to be sure had nothing whatever to do with love making she was more shy of such demonstrations than she had been in her confident youth knowing that in most cases they never came to anything and at the same time that the spectators kept a vivid recollection of them but still in the excitement of the moment miss marge banks accepted and returned in a womanly way the pressure of mr. ashburton's hand come in and let us talk it over lucilla said feeling that no time was to be lost it was a conference very different from that which had mr. chilton been so well advised as to die 10 years before might have been held in dr. marge banks drawing room over his successor's prospects but at the same time there was something satisfactory to the personal sentiments of both in the way in which this conversation had come about when lucilla took off her hat and sat down to give him all her attention mr. ashburton could not but feel the flattering character of the interest she was taking in him she was a woman and young comparatively speaking and was by no means without admirers and unquestionably took the lead in society and to be divine by such a person was perhaps on the whole sweeter to the heart of the aspirant than if colonel charlie had found out his secret or dr. marge banks or even director and lucilla for her part had all that natural pleasure in being the first to embrace a new interest which might or might not have very important results which was natural under the circumstances let us talk it all over she said giving mr. ashburton a chair near her own if i believed in spirit rapping you know i should be sure that was what it meant i was not thinking of you in the least and all at once like a flash of lightning mr. ashburton sit down and tell me what is the first thing that must be done if i could ask you to be on my committee that would be the first thing to be done said mr. ashburton but unfortunately i can't do that let me tell you in the first place how very much i am obliged don't say that please said miss marge banks with her usual good sense for i have done nothing but papa can be on the committee mr. ashburton and old colonel charlie who is such a one for politics and of course sir john that will be a very good beginning and after that my dear miss marge banks mr. ashburton said with a smile and a little hesitation sir john takes exactly the other side in politics and i am afraid the doctor and the colonel are not of the same way of thinking and then my opinions if they are not of the same way of thinking we must make them said lucilla after having such an intimation i am not going to be put off for a trifle and besides what does it matter about opinions i am sure i have heard you all saying over and over that the thing was to have a good man don't go and make speeches about opinions if you begin with that there is no end to it said miss marge banks i know what you gentlemen are but if you just say distinctly that you are the best man it would be an odd thing to say for oneself said mr. ashburton and he laughed but to tell the truth he was not a man of very quick understanding and at the first outset of the thing he did not understand lucilla and he was a little just a very little disappointed she had divined him which was a wonderful proof of her genius but yet at the bottom she was only an ignorant woman after all i see it's all quite clear what to do said miss marge banks you must have the colonel and sir john and everybody i would not pay the least attention to tories or wigs or to anything of that sort for my part i don't see any difference all that has to be said about it is simply that you are the right man papa might object to one thing and the colonel might object to another and then if sir john as you say is of quite another way of thinking but you are the man for carlingford all the same and none of them can say a word against that said lucilla with energy she stopped short with her color rising and her eyes brightening she felt herself inspired which was a new sensation and very pleasant and then the idea of such a coming struggle was sweet to miss marge banks and the conviction burst upon her that she was striking out a perfectly new and original line as for her candidate he smiled and hesitated and paid her pretty little compliments for a few minutes longer and said it was very good of her to interest herself in his fortunes all which lucilla listened to with great impatience feeling that it had nothing to do with the matter in hand but then after these few minutes had elapsed the meaning of his fair advisor as he called her began to dawn upon mr ashburton's mind he began to prick up his mental ears so to speak and see that it was not womanish ignorance but an actual suggestion for after all so long as he was the man for carlingford all the rest was of little importance he took something out of his pocket which was his address to the constituency of carlingford for being anxious on the subject he had heard of mr chiltern's death an hour or two before anybody else and choked full of political sentiments in it he described to the electors what he would do if they sent him to parliament as carefully as if their election could make him prime minister at least and naturally a man does not like to sacrifice such a confession of faith i should like to read it to you he said spreading it out with affectionate care but lucilla had already arranged her plans and knew better than that if you were to read it to me said miss march banks i should be sure to be convinced that you were quite right and to go in with you for everything and then i should be no good you know if it were to drive papa and sir john and the colonel all to their own ways of thinking we never should make any progress i would never mind about anybody's ways of thinking if i were you after all said lucilla with a fine satire of which she was unconscious what does it matter what people think i suppose when it comes to doing anything the wigs and tories are just the same mr ashburton it is a man that is wanted said miss march banks with all the warmth of sudden conviction she felt a little like joe nefark as she spoke when an army has the aid of a secret maiden to bring inspiration to its councils the idea of going on in the old formal way is no longer to be tolerated and such was the force of lucilla's conviction that mr ashburton though he felt a little affronted and could not but look with fond and compunctious regrets upon his address yet began more and more to feel that there was justice in what she said i will think over what you say he said rather stiffly and put up his address for it was natural when he had done her such an honor as to offer to read it to her that he should be affronted by her refusal it was a bold experiment on lucilla's part but then she was carried out of herself at the moment by this singular flash of inspiration i will think over what you say mr ashburton continued and if my judgment approves at all events i shall not issue this till i have thought it all over i am sure i am extremely obliged to you for your interest and here he stopped short and looked as if he were going to get up and go away which would have spoiled all you are going to stop to lunch said lucilla somebody is sure to come in and you know you must not lose any opportunity of seeing people i am so glad tonight is thursday tell me just one thing mr ashburton before anyone comes there is one thing that is really important and must be fixed upon if we were to make any mistake you know what said the candidate eagerly about the income tax i have expressed myself very clearly lucilla smiled compassionately and with the gentlest tolerance at this wild suggestion i was not thinking of the income tax she said with that meekness which people assume when it is of no use being impatient i was thinking what your colors were to be i would not have anything to do with the old colors for my part they would be as bad as opinions you know you may laugh but i am quite in earnest said miss marge banks as for mr ashburton he did not begin to laugh until he had fixed upon her that gaze of utter amazement in doubt with which on many similar occasions ordinary people had regarded lucilla thinking she was joking or acting or doing something quite different from the severe sincerity which was her leading principle she was so used to it that she waited with perfect patience till her companion's explosion of amusement was over he was thinking to himself what a fool she was or what a fool he was to think of taking a woman into his councils or what curious unintelligible creatures women were made up of sense and folly and all the time he laughed which was a relief to his feelings miss marge banks left a little too to keep him in countenance for she was always the soul of good nature and then she repeated be sure to tell me what our colors are to be i am sure i don't know anything about colors said the candidate any more than you do about opinions i think they are equally unimportant to say the least i shall adopt the colors of my fair counselor mr ashburton added laughing and making amok bow to her and getting his hat as he did so for he had naturally calmed down a little from the first enthusiasm with which he had hailed the woman who defined him and he did not mean to stay the blue and the yellow are the old colors said ducilla thoughtfully and you are the new man you know and we must not meddle with these antiquated things do you think this would do as she spoke she took up a handful of ribbons which were lying by and put them up to her face with an air of serious deliberation which once more disturbed mr ashburton's gravity and yet when a young woman who is not at all bad looking puts up a rustling gleaming knot of ribbons to her hair and asks a man's opinions of the same the man must be a philosopher or a wretch indeed who does not give a glance to see the effect the candidate for carlingford looked and approached and even in the temptation of the moment took some of the long streamers in his hand and he began to think miss march banks was very clever and the most amusing companion he had met for a long time and her interest in him touched his heart and after all it is no drawback to a woman to be absurd by moments his voice grew quite soft and caressing as he took the end of ribbon into his hand if they are your colors they shall be mine he said with a sense of patronage and protection which was very delightful and the two were still talking and laughing over the silken link thus formed between them when the people came in whom lucilla was expecting to lunch and who were naturally full of mr children's death which poor old man was so sudden at the least mr ashburton stayed though he had not intended it and made himself very pleasant and lucilla took no pains to conceal her opinion that the thing was neither to consider wigs nor tories but a good man and major brown who had come with his daughters echoed this sentiment so warmly that mr ashburton was entirely convinced of the justice of miss march bank's ideas we can't have a tipper topper you know major brown said who was not very refined in his expressions and what i should like to see is a man that knows the place and would look after carlingford that's what we're all looking for mr ashburton did not declare himself to major brown but he dashed off his new address ten minutes after he had taken leave of miss march banks and put the other one in the fire like a christian and telegraphed for his agent to town lucilla for her part made an effort equally great and uncompromising she took the ribbon mr ashburton had played with and cut it up into cupcakes of all descriptions it was an early moment but still there was no time to be lost with a matter of such importance and she wore one on her breast and one in her hair when mr ashburton's address was published and all the world was discussing it of course they are his colors that's why i wear them said lucilla i shall always think there was something very strange in it just after i had heard of poor old mr chiltern's death as i was passing holdens when i was not in the least thinking of him he came into my minds like a flash of lightning you know if i had been very intimate with poor old mr chiltern or if i had believed in spirit rapping i should think that was it he came into my head without my even thinking of him all in a moment with his very hat on in his umbrella like minerva wasn't it minerva said miss march banks and she took up mr ashburton's cause openly and unfurled his standard and did not even ask her father's opinion papa knows about politics but he has not had an intimation as i have said lucilla and naturally she threw all the younger portion of grange lane which was acquainted with mr ashburton and looked forward eagerly to a little excitement and liked the idea of wearing a violet and green cocaid into a flutter of excitement among these rash young people there were even various individuals who took lucilla's word for it and knew that mr ashburton was very nice and did not see that anything more was necessary to be sure these enthusiasts were chiefly women and in no cases had votes but miss march banks with instinctive correctness of judgment decided that there were more things to be thought of than the electors and she had the satisfaction of seeing with her own eyes and hearing with her own ears the success of that suggestion of her genius carlingford had rarely been more excited by any public event than it was by the address of the new candidate who was in the field before anybody else and who had the boldness to come before them without uttering any political creed the enlightened electors of carlingford do not demand like other less educated constituencies a system of political doctrines cut and dry or a representative bound to give up his own judgment and act according to arbitrary promises said the daring candidate what they want is an honest man resolved to do his duty by his country his borough and his constituency and it is this idea alone which has induced me to solicit your suffrages this was what mr ashburton said in his address though at that moment he had still his other address in his pocket in which he had entered at some length into his distinctive personal views it was thus that an independent candidate unconnected with party took the field in carlingford with ms marge banks like another Joan of Arc with a knot of ribbons violet and green in her hair to inspire and lead him on end of chapter 38 recording by maricelle quay