 Psychologists agree that giving an ultimatum isn't exactly a good way to get someone else to do what you want, but it is the very best way to get the answers that you need. So first of all, I want to shout out Andre for putting me on this Andre DM me a little while back and told me I need to watch this show. And I feel multiple ways. I appreciate you Andre, but I'm also pissed at you because this shit was a hot ass mess. So the show in question is ultimatum and the premise is that couples meet at this house unified by their desire to figure out if their relationships are going to work and go to the next level or if they're going to trade partners with somebody else. So basically it's soft swinging, right? So one person, either the man or the woman in each relationship, issued an ultimatum and basically they feel like they want the relationship to go to the next level. And the other person is not ready for that next level, meaning marriage, right? Now, there are a total of five couples, I believe, but obviously I'm going to focus on the Black ones. And honestly, I think the Black stories are the most interesting for multiple reasons, but particularly because I think they demonstrate how men, we are the problem. We are absolutely the problem. And I'm going to explain why. So right now, you know, there's a clip on Instagram that's pissing a lot of people off in the comments because in that clip, it seems as if I am blaming single mothers, blaming Black single mothers for their parenting or lack thereof, right? And the comments are predictable. It's the deadbeat dad's fault. It's the man who abandoned her. It's the man who left her to raise these kids by herself. And just like I said, with the random man from Atlanta video, it takes two to tango. And I think it's about time we have a more high level, comprehensive conversation about what leads to children being raised poorly. And the reality, like I said in that clip, and like we talked about during the one hour conversation that premiered yesterday, is that your mother chose that man for better or worse. So she owns some of that responsibility. And unfortunately, in our community, there's this idea that our parents did us a favor by raising us, as opposed to the reality that they simply handle their responsibility. And I know in pop culture, we like to celebrate mothers, we like to celebrate good dads for doing their job as if those kids asked to be there. But the reality is those kids are your responsibility. They did not ask to be here. We did not ask to be here. So if you're only doing the best that you can, you don't deserve praise, because nobody told you to get pregnant. Nobody told you to impregnate whoever you did. So if you can't do the best that you can, it's okay to admit that you're a shith parent, because until we can start being honest with ourselves, we cannot improve. For equity's sake, since everybody thinks I'm a misogynist, I want to provide some balance. And my position with this show in particular is that it is these men's fault. The first couple I want to talk about is Lisa and Brian. So ironically, I'm familiar with Lisa. So the show was shot in Charlotte, North Carolina. I used to live in Charlotte, North Carolina. And I did a show with Lisa. She and I never actually had a conversation, but we were on the same show as a conversation series called the Situation Chip Circle. I think she ended up leaving the production prematurely. I think she might have done one or two episodes. But yeah, I don't remember seeing her often. However, what's ironic is that her and Brian's relationship started as a situation ship. You're here and you're going to be functioning as a single woman in a marriage because you're not putting forth as much effort as you want that man to put into making you feel as quote unquote powerful. And you making your man lose that. So I make sure I take more than enough effort to make sure he feels powerful. The irony is really, really there. And apparently her first ultimatum towards Brian was to turn their situation ship into a relationship. The second ultimatum was the show for him to marry her. Her daughter is currently 10. So Brian would also be a stepdad. And I imagine that's part of his hesitation with moving their relationship to the next level. According to the show, Brian is only 28 years old. His last name is Okeke. I'm Nigerian. I'm Igbo. That is an Igbo Nigerian name. So the fact that he is Nigerian, the fact that he is younger than Lisa, the fact that he's a young guy, good looking guy, getting his life moving probably means he's not as enthusiastic about long term relationship, let alone marriage. When we both walk out of here, we're going to be both single. We just love that, don't you? When you see that I'm dating other people, you know, you don't work on your reaction to things. You get upset. I don't have to tell you what you do. I don't feel like I get that upset. You know, like some women are capable of doing, she was able to convince or coerce him to make their relationship, their situation ship serious. I think she trapped him. The fact that she, number one, is older than him, number two, coerced their relationship away from the situation ship and made it serious. And now is trying to coerce him into marriage, kind of shows some of her pathology, but it gets, it gets so much, so much worse. Lisa came to us and informed us that she had taken a pregnancy test. That test came back positive. And this is why I blame Brian. So in episode two of the show, in front of God, the cashmates, the production staff, and the international Netflix audience, Lisa assaults Brian simply because her feelings were hurt because she saw him talking to another woman, which ironically she brought him on the show to do. If she was comfortable enough to do that publicly, and that publicly is an understatement, this is, this is publicly in all caps. I can only imagine what she's comfortable doing to and with him behind closed doors. But see, the reason I blame Brian is, and I talked about it in the last case study and a few others, some men have been socialized to be sadomasochistic. And to put that in simple terms, some men get off on choosing and quote, unquote, maintaining the most difficult and problematic woman that he can find. And some men have been tricked into believing that the potency of their masculinity is correlated with their ability to handle and tame these types of women. Because you can't tell me they weren't red flags. They weren't caution signs, yellow flags when he met Lisa, when he began their situation ship, but he allowed it to progress. And now God and everybody is watching him being assaulted on international television by a woman in her feelings, after threatening him. So it wasn't that it came out of nowhere, it was heat of the moment. She told him she was going to do something. And he proceeds to follow outside and bicker and go back and forth like two women. We enable the problematic femininity that we love to complain about. And I've come across other brines in my comments. I'm sure there's some brines who are watching this video who are fans of the content who for whatever reason do not understand or do not realize that they are seeking out and attempting to tame wild stallions. And for some reason, they think it's a virtue. And later on, they want to bitch and moan about how she did him wrong, how she was abusive, how she did him wrong in court, how she hid the children and how she was vindictive and all that good stuff. But fail. And brothers, I have to be fair because I do, I have the same perspective with women fail to recognize how you initiated and you enabled this person to not just get in your life, but also get a foothold in your affairs. So just like I don't feel bad for single mothers who thought they could turn a thug into a house husband. I don't feel bad for men who think they can tame wild women. I don't feel bad for men who go after masculine, abusive, unruly, entitled women. I don't feel bad for you. And if you're too immature to see the flags and the telltale signs, then maybe you shouldn't be dating. Because one of the things that stood out to me even before the assault, she had an air of entitlement in her dealings with him, even the scene prior when she left the group and chose to come sit with him as if she was his mother to supervise his dealings and supervise his conversations. Brothers, any woman who moves like that does not respect you. Brothers, any woman who moves like that thinks she owns you. At best, you're her son. At most, you're her property. Run. Our lady days were supposed to be actually the first week while filming. Clearly, mines did not come. And that's where my suspicion kicked in. And so I literally was in my hotel room and was like, I don't feel right. You know, I feel like I'm acting normal. I feel overly emotional about things. So I took a pregnancy test and here it is. That was true the first time that I found out. As you can see in my face, it was much of a surprise to me, right? I didn't know if she was a it was a joke or not. But you know, I guess I knew she wouldn't play around like that. But, you know, immediately within the first few seconds, I had to make the decision on whether or not, you know, this is something that I was really to accept and move forward with the next couple, the other black couple, obviously. Oh, because it's so clear. It's so obvious. It's so apparent that she don't like him like that. And this man, for whatever reason, and I think it's another aspect of this sadomasochism that I'm talking about, feels the need to want to marry her and create a life with her. He issued the ultimatum, brothers. If a woman, women who are raised on fairy tales and raised on love conquering all, if a woman is not enthusiastic about you walking her down the aisle, about you making an honest woman out of her, my brother, she does not want you. And she'll settle for you because you're safe, because you're reliable, because you're familiar, because you might check other boxes, maybe you're handsome, you guys take good pitches, you pay for stuff for her, your safety. But ultimately, it will fail. And there's no amount of proving, there's no amount of romance that will ever satiate her because you are not her him. I line my house with candles all the way down the hallway to the bedroom, lingerie laid out, teddy bear on the bed. I had Beyonce playing in the back. So to me, I went above and beyond. It was nice. Nice. The exact response that I got was, I mean, it's not quite like the TikTok video. That's the exact response I got. Trey apparently is a well put together dude. He graduated from USC in Columbia, South Carolina. He's probably in network with some people I know. And then Rhea, she works at Hooters. What's interesting about her character is that her character, unless she is an Oscar worthy actress, her character seems very vapid. It seems very hollow. You know, those people who the lights are on, but nobody's home that she gives me that impression. So I don't feel angry at her because I don't think she necessarily knows any better, which is why I'm angry at Trey. Because the reality is Trey doesn't actually love her. He loves what she can help him accomplish. And that might be husband and father status. And he has prematurely, obviously unwisely, stuck the first pretty face that he was able to pull in the wife position. And this is an uncomfortable number of brothers. And you see him where it's like, she don't like you like that, bro. But she might be his first bad bitch. She might be the girl that he always wanted. And because now he has the money or now he has the looks, she decided to settle for him. But you spend enough time with him. And you could tell very quickly that she, she don't rate you like that, my bro. But you know, as men, we tend to have blinders on and it's more about what I want to accomplish as opposed to whether or not it makes sense. And in this case, he wants to get married. He wants to start having kids. She is unsure. She is unsure if she wants to get married. And she's unsure if she wants to have kids. Ironically, in further episodes of the show, they switch, you know, each person chooses another person from another couple to couple with in a trial marriage to later come back to their person and couple with again to see if distance made the heart grow fonder or if I prefer the person I left you for. And in this case, she chooses some country white dude. And during the choosing process, each person, the man first gets up and talks about all the reasons why he chose the person that he is going to couple with for this week or whatever. And the woman responds. So when she responded in front of God, Trey, all the white people, the production staff and the international Netflix viewing audience, she said that the white guy makes her want to have kids and makes her want to get married, somebody that she's known for a couple of days. And I'm supposed to feel bad for Trey. In that moment, you can see his face fall like, I've been trying to convince you of this this whole time. And now you're telling me this in front of everybody that another man makes you want to get married. Trey, you're an idiot, brother. And it's like, I want to say no offense, but it's with all due offense and with all due respect, because unfortunately, you don't have friends or family who care enough about you to tell you the truth. Or maybe they do and you weren't receptive enough to listen and act. And it wasn't until she embarrassed you publicly that now you see the light. He chose a white girl. That was supposed to be punny. The moral of this is that, brothers, we incentivize this female bullshit. And for us to spend so much time and effort dissecting the nuances of women's bullshit, to spend every video and every reaction talking about how the black woman is going to dot, dot, dot, or the black woman is a scum of the earth without acknowledging the fact that our validation and our sexual attention is a big reason why the black woman is and remains and has no reason to change being dot, dot, dot. In closing, that show was an embarrassment, particularly with the black couples. I can get into the white couples and one girl, Roxanne, she's basically a female dude and she is not enthusiastic about marrying her boyfriend because he's basically a male woman. She's in the dominant role. He's in the feminine role. And it's not until she meets another dominant man from another couple that now she's enthusiastic about the potential of marriage. But again, brothers, we need to own the role that we play in incentivizing women's bullshit. We need to own the role that we're going to have to play for things to change. If you want to see more of this, please click that like button. It helps tremendously. And share this with somebody you think would gain value from the message and hit that subscribe button as well. Peace out y'all.