 People have patterns and so what you're saying to me is that this guy that you are with has a past and a pattern of cheating. Now I would never condone such behavior. Cheating is dishonest, it's disloyal, it's very low bar type of behavior that both men and women engage in in relationships and so you're in a situation where you have a daughter and you have to think about your daughter and you have to think about yourself and if you're saying to yourself I don't care that he's cheated on me I am going to stay with this man. You have to realize that there's a really high probability chance that he's gonna cheat on you again because you are kind of enabling it by staying with him and saying hey you've cheated on me in the past and I'm going to overlook that and I'm going to forgive it. It is possible that he could change. It's possible. I've seen it happen. I know people that have done it guys that were cheaters who now at least to me that they swear that they would never ever do that again and that they haven't ever done that again in the relationship that they're in because they have grown out of that kind of a phase that they were in of cheating and wanting to go around and cheat and being a player or whatever it is that they were when they were younger and so it is possible that he could change. However if he does cheat I would say that that wouldn't be very surprising and so you have to think about it in terms of how is this going to impact you and your mental being, your mental well-being, your emotional well- being, your life, how you feel about yourself, how you feel about him, how you feel about men, how you feel about your daughter, how you're going to be passing on information to your daughter about relationships and about men and what's acceptable in a relationship with a man and how a man is allowed to treat you or women or your daughter in the future. So I do believe in potentially giving people second chances especially if there's a very complicated situation that it is important to give somebody a second chance and it's a difficult situation which it sounds like you are in one of those kinds of situations so I don't know how many times he's cheated you say he has a past of cheating is that one time is that multiple times I mean obviously you're in a situation now where probably should have gotten out of the situation earlier but you didn't and now you have a daughter together and you have somebody that's very important to you in your life who's your daughter and you're in a situation where it's like okay well what do I do now like how do I kind of navigate this world with a daughter and wanting to have her father in the picture I don't know if he you know maybe in all other senses he's a really awesome guy and you want him in the picture because of that and you want him to be there and all that kind of stuff and so yeah I mean it's a really difficult situation and really you have to kind of look at it from all the things that I just talked about and decide whether this is something that you want to continue and whether it's going to be healthy emotionally and mentally and spiritually for yourself and your daughter and if it is what you want to do is hopefully get him some help with his issues I mean obviously you don't want to make it look like he is a bad person or he's like there's something wrong with him necessarily but if he does have a past of cheating and he doesn't feel like he can change or he doesn't feel like he can fix it which sometimes people have issues like that where they just are like this is who I am it's a part of my identity and I'm a cheater and so that's what I do and I can say this as much as I want to but deep inside I know that I'm going to go and cheat again then he's gonna have to get some help he's gonna have to get some legitimate help so it there's a lot going on there and I'd have to kind of know more about the situation to know what kind of help you really need it's not something that you can necessarily fix just by saying the right thing or just doing something in this relationship because it's a choice that he makes and the question is whether he's addicted to that choice and whether he's become a victim and a slave to that choice or whether he is taking ownership of that choice or not