 Hi, this is Debbie Dashing. You're welcome to dare to dream where we show you all the ways to make your dreams come true. One of the great ways that we like to show up is something that really honors people who make a difference on the planet. People who are basically going to their own drum beat, right? They recognize they've got a gift that's really different. There's great reason it was given to them and they're finding a way to disseminate that out into the world and that is being an entrepreneur. That is doing your own thing and finding your own tribe that resonates with what you do. So in being an entrepreneur, one of the prevalent things that I have heard seen and certainly I experienced in my own work is a lot of overwhelm to do lists that never end and also exhaustion and I keep hearing this over and over again so much so that we've created a show just for you and I brought in the best expert to talk about this. So in a little bit I'm going to bring on Melanie Benson who will be talking to you. Coach Melanie will be giving you lots of tools and guidance so she can actually help you move ahead and have a different point of view, a different tool belt about how to work with what you've got and maybe make it a whole lot easier and a whole lot richer, a lot more fun. So first I just want to thank Dr. Dane here, D-A-I-N-H-E-E-R. Thank you Dr. Dane here and Access Consciousness for sponsoring this show and if you want some energy healing like that they do courses all around the world in all languages. They've got facilitators everywhere and they teach something called bars which is an energy healing. I do it on the facilitator and it's highly recommended. They've also got products you can just go online and start real slow there so it's drdanehere.com and accessconsciousness.com and I'm going to ask you please all to take a moment because I know you tune into the show I know that you write me comments and thank you I read everything that you post. I love reading your feedback by the way you can't hear that from me enough that everything actually gets read and processed and sometimes sent to my guests. So thank you keep writing keep letting me know how the shows are affecting you and leave a review leave a five-star review for this podcast so others can find this conversation. 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that purpose as are my guests at patreon.com slash dare to dream you can help support this show it's free to you and if you want the show to continue to flourish and be sustainable with the best quality guests for one dollar and more you can donate and make a difference so by the way I see that go through go through as well so just know you will get a thank you for me directly and a little gift we are your number one transformation conversation and today I ask you to go to patreon.com slash dare to dream so what if you could overcome your money pressures and your business overwhelm I'm going to ask you to take a big big deep breath around that because I even feel those words money pressures business overwhelm it's very prevalent today and what if you could achieve the unimaginable my guest today coach Melanie Benson is a profit amplifier and has a gift for guiding fast paced mission-driven messengers to thrive financially in their work Melanie hosts the amplify your success podcast she's the author of rewired for wealth co-author of entrepreneurs.com startup guide to starting an information marketing business and she has her success tips featured in magazines such as American express open forum bloomberg business week woman's day parenting magazine and university of phoenix alumni magazine she's on the executive team for the women's speaker association and Melanie is a member of the association of transformational leaders her website is her name Melanie Benson dot com Melanie welcome to dare to dream it's great to have you oh my friend I'm so happy to be joining you I love your show and your podcast so much so inspiring yay thank you and thanks for being a part a contribution to this inspiration because you're going to give us a piece of heaven here truthfully like for entrepreneurs walking around with this dark cloud they're here for so much good to create so much good and yet there's this enormous burden they're carrying around and being overworked working way harder than the money coming in and the sense of being overwhelmed like I'm never going to get through that to do list and by the way some of the stuff on that to do list you can't just go well one two three they're important I'll let the rest go like there's a lot that's important on that list so talking about overwhelm money in business what do you just want to say like as an overview as an expert in this area to start the ball rolling in this conversation yeah and I love that we're being overwhelmed into the conversation because it feels like it's really up for people right now and it's almost like there's this continuum between the amount of ambition you have and the level of high achievement that you're used to and your level of overwhelm right it's like the more you have like ambition and drive and excited exciting big goals that overwhelms and you know like that pressure of of how much more can I take on and right now what I think there's something really it's almost like there's a transformation that's occurring I love you use that word earlier where who we have to be to pull off our biggest boldest goals has to upgrade has to evolve in order to pull off goals we've never achieved before I'm noticing that there's a lot of people who are kind of giving up on their dreams right now they're saying I don't think I can do that because how I got here it's exhausting like I can't do more and maybe you've heard that conversation I mean I think some of our peers have had it with us I know certainly a lot of my clients are having it I hear it kind of the noise in the hall at an event there's this this fear really of like I have no idea how to get where I want to go without giving up something really really important to me I kind of I've been starting to call it ambition overwhelm right it's like the more ambition you have the more overwhelm that kicks in and I think one of the most important things we have to do is we have to take a step back Debbie and we have to ask ourselves what's at stake like what's my why here like why do I want to go to that next level why do I have that bigger goal why am I pushing forcing and challenging myself to achieve that next level like is there really something that I'm meant to do or am I getting caught up in this momentum that gets created when you see what's possible and you're kind of just following the pack right like how do we unpack that a little bit and discern what's my thing to do what's my drive my ambition my goals my dreams and what am I doing just because I think I'm supposed to absolutely you know something that people hear a lot in workshops led by very big names that we all know and command a large audience is take massive action take massive action and people really take that to heart and they go out and start implementing it and what happens is they start getting buried they're trying so hard that ambition you talked about that overdrive that you mentioned that is literally over driving them and it also makes me wonder is I'm listening to you share about this if there's a component of not being enough that gets woven into this for entrepreneurs yeah you know we've actually explored this before and I I love that we're becoming aware of how much our own beliefs about ourselves about who we are what we're capable of how we stack up right against other people and there's always that little comparison bug of oh my gosh like they're doing so much am I enough in the world and I think that there's a significant um like there's a there's a mirror of you know who am I being right now am I really showing up in my fullest capacity or am I am I like doubting and having so much fear and so much second guessing of who I am that it's creating this cloak that weighs us down and causes us to play it safe and play small and and that's because we don't want to be seen as not enough right like every part of our being wants to be seen as enough and yet if we don't believe that like if we don't have that intrinsically we're going to do all these things consciously and unconsciously that sabotage that and and cause us to not do the very things that could work to propel to catapult us can I share an example on this real quick yes please I'd love that well you know it's like I'm really I'm so blessed I've mentored a coach so many amazing souls on their journey to being greater in success and I see some patterns here and one of the patterns is we set some business goals because there's this like there's this calling inside right like something's calling us something's sparking something's getting our attention and saying you could have a podcast you should write a book you've got all this great knowledge you could build a business around it or you could take your business to that next level and then when the inside doesn't match and there's the doubts and the fears what I notice is there's the more you push up against that edge of what you've done before the more you push up against that like okay I know how to do this but I've never gone beyond that edge before and that's scary over there like I don't know how to do that yet but you know you have to go over there this is when those doubts and fears like start to um it's almost like they like come in like this big monster right that that comes on top of your dream and says are you enough can you do that uh who do you think you are to want to pull off that goal every single belief that you have carried with you on some levels and she or child will start to crop up and and scream at you like a toddler wanting attention and that's where we derail like that's where we start to pull back and and I think that's the work we have to do is how do we manage those hidden fears those I call them hidden profit drains that actually start to pull you away from your goals instead of fuel you and power you through the that edge to get to the next level so somebody can be really good at what they do and concurrently also sabotage themselves while they're on the road to do that is that correct yeah I've done that right like who we do we as really talented human beings will hit that wall um I think it's gay Hendrix he calls that you're hitting your upper limit you we all have deep inside of us this level of expansion this level of capacity this level like this deeper why of what we can accomplish in the world and yet many of us stay in the zone of where we're good because let's face it our egos want to feel good at what we do right we want to be seen as capable we want to be able to go to work and do what we do every day and go yeah I nailed it right it doesn't feel very good to step into that unknown zone that gray area that that really powerful but yet really sticky zone of I don't know how to do this next thing and yet I have to do it and you're terrified and you're you're you're and you're simultaneously knowing I have to be in this place to go where I've got to go next I call it letting go of the how like you have to let go of knowing how to do the thing you were born to do in order to get where you want to go and that means you got to develop some new muscles some new level ways of thinking in the space where you do the things you've never done before to get where you never know you wanted to go but you have to go big so big oh my goodness so this letting go piece and to fill in there you do some healing work with your clients and I know you do something which I love the name of nlp recoding yes we talk a little bit about how that is engaged with what we're talking about how can you heal with recoding yeah so recoding is my uh basically it's a word I made up for something I learned how to do using neuro linguistic programming which is what nlp stands for it's a way of teaching your mind to become congruent with the goals that you have set for yourselves because basically here's here's the quick snapshot of how to know what you're programmed in life for because we're all programmed we all have basically an internal processor that's conditioned for the level of money we have the level of love we're willing to experience the life right yeah a certain place and we go to that we keep automatically getting ourselves at this stasis but god forbid we tried to go a little up in the money the career the love whatever it is it was like weren't right back totally it's like a like that rubber band can only stretch so far or you know some people use the thermostat you know it's like your temperature can only go so high before you're like nope not working for me and so when you know that there's a goal or an outcome that's way bigger way beyond what you've achieved we actually have to recode our belief systems our thought processes our habits and i call it our money dna blueprint so that we can actually achieve that level of success that level of financial well-being that level of love whatever you know we can apply it to anything i tend to specialize in the money and success side and a quick barometer is look at the thing you're striving for look at the thing you've set goals and you can achieve look at the thing you've been pining for over and over and over again and is it what you want and if not i can guarantee you that your belief system is set to match the quality of that outcome and this doesn't make you bad it doesn't make you a failure it doesn't mean that you're broken none of that is what i'm saying what i'm saying is is that we have a set of conditions thoughts beliefs ideas and a paradigm of what we believe is possible that influence every decision and action we take every decision we make every action we take and that's what's delivering that result so if you want to raise that and you want to raise your game in that area then we've got to figure out what's missing in the mind set in the blueprint that would make it automatically happen and that's where my kind of secret sauce is well good and we're going to do a little bit of that during the show today yeah i would love it okay and i want you to feel free to interrupt me anytime when you're like oh i feel a recoding coming on okay we're gonna have you recoded i would love that i want people to really really experience your potency here yeah so okay mindset really important to success that's what i'm hearing and one of the things that you take a big stand for is these big harry audacious goals like really go big and i love that because that really pushes the limit for people i'm sure that sets them up for a perfect recoding because it puts them in a place where there's like i really want this but right story comes up fear comes up in all of that how can we actually do that but also jumpstart our confidence yeah i call owning your bold and i probably should give you a little backstory on why this is so important because um i'm that person my nature which is going to make you completely laugh i'm completely shy uh i will i i love to be in my comfort zone and i'm very like i played it save my entire life right and so when i started my business 20 years ago i was broke i was struggling like i had absolutely no idea how to make my business work and what i had to do which i didn't understand at the time but i now understand is like i had to make some bold moves that meant i just set a bold goal and so i set a goal and i'm making like a thousand fifteen hundred dollars a month and i set a goal that i was gonna break six figures within the year and i had no idea how to do it it felt completely terrifying no one in my family had ever made that kind of money right it was like it's like all right what's the stretch what's the thing i have to stretch into and here's the key by not knowing how to do it i could not rely on all my old patterns all my old thinking all my own beliefs all my old belief systems i had to become the person that thought had action and had a paradigm that that was the way i lived like as if it was easy and so i had to program i had to recode everything in me to match the person who was easily making six figures and then i used it again to break seven figures and so here's where things get messed up for people is they don't realize that they think i'm setting a bold goal and setting myself up for failure because i don't know how to do it and it's so big and there's so many pieces and now i'm overwhelmed right it's not how you get to the bold goal that matters it's that you're setting a goal that you've absolutely know how to do and you're slightly terrified and you have to shatter your current reality to achieve it then you shift into the strategy if you're asking for support and like really following this process to pull it off in a way that you had to do to become the person you were meant to be that's really what is and there's a momentum and a in like a confidence and a courage as you take every step forward that gets built that makes you become somebody that can achieve any goal in life that's why i like bold goals and i think that's that's why making a bold move is so powerful it's like you can't stay small when you have a bold goal and here's the real thing debbie is the bold goal for you could be i'm going to pick up the phone and call some people i'm scared to call right now that might be the boldest thing you do right now but for someone else it might be i'm going to have my first live event and i'm going to teach a hundred people how to like do the thing i do in the world right like everybody has their own version of bold you're not supposed to take out my bold version i'm not supposed to take on yours you got to find your bold you got to own your bold and do that oh my goodness totally and i can really relate to this because every time i've set a bold goal in my life you know it's a thing and then you bust through you set the strategy and the light starts going on and then you do it and it's like oh i could do that again i could replicate that wasn't so bad wasn't as big as i thought it was and now i know how to do it yeah that's like there now that's in like the i can do it realm but then there's the next big goal right because life is about change it's constantly changing it's constantly up leveling and there's the next piece to get in there and figure out and set and step into so it's interesting that we're constantly replicating that experience over and over it is there ever a way to make it easier because that zone of being in that maybe overwhelm and fear even about thinking about creating things yeah a lot for people yeah and i want to share that and i also in a minute want to talk about what happens when it doesn't work right because i don't want to like pretend like it's all rainbows and unicorns you know there are realities where we fail and and you know the bold goal that you pursue doesn't work out but i want to talk about why that's so valuable before we we move away from this this particular question but um this whole idea of how to like achieve a bold goal right i think part of it is you have to break it down like there's a there's a terminology in the the training i taught many or sorry learned many years ago where you have to chunk down to small actionable steps and this is the same thing i teach in my getting out of overwhelmed tools too is the reason we're overwhelmed is we're trying to like climb a mountain that's going to take weeks but we're trying to do it in a day and our perception like we turn on the superhero debbie do you have a superhero cape that you tend to throw on and go i can do that tomorrow when really you need to kind of give yourself a race too just in case exactly so you know we do this to us why because if we don't we probably won't ever tackle the goal and yet what we're doing is we're kind of setting ourselves up for that exhaustion and that frustration and that overwhelm so one of the things i always do with my clients is literally like take the big goal that's up here and chunk it down to what do i need to do tomorrow okay so that's one piece of the puzzle is move it into small actionable okay i can do this in an hour not okay this is something i'm giving myself an hour to do but really i need two weeks and i think that really starts to help train our minds to to focus on this the what's the next thing to do not what's the mountain of things to do the second piece of this is prioritizing and i know this is actually this is like a four letter word to a lot of creatives right they're like prioritize i want it all right now like you know it's all equally important and when you have a lot of ambition and you have a lot of drive like prioritizing feels like it's like trying to learn how to ice skate like i never learned how to ice skate debbie i would fall i never quite figured out the balance thing but what i realized is is that you need momentum to ice skate well right and for me the idea of prioritizing is similar it's like you have to start somewhere you have to kind of find that balance and then let the momentum carry it and that means you have to learn how to prioritize what has to be done next not what are the 17 things i wish could be done next and what that does is it allows you to really start to understand what really has to be done next to stay on track and that might mean you have to pause some things it might mean you have to have that um like that reality conversation uh yes i do want to get all these things done but i can't i have an hour or i have a day and so the next thing i can realistically complete is this now i will say one little side note on that is if you continually have really big projects with lots of moving parts and you tend to be the one and only person that's moving those goals forward you may be kind of blocking your progress i call it bottlenecking by um trying to do it alone and it might be trying to hire help like you know get an intern hire a va virtual assistant hire you know get a team member to help take some of the things off your plate that they can do better faster or cheaper so you can do the things that you do well to move the the ball forward and i know that's kind of a um it's confronting for some people to think about letting go control and letting other help them but if you've got big goals you're going to have to learn to delegate and ask for help at some point can you do a little bit of work around this yeah oh yeah here we go love it there is there are a lot of people i know that have difficulty with this yeah it is about letting go it's about trusting and there's another interesting factor and that's overwhelmed about stopping what you're doing as an entrepreneur to take the time to teach someone brand new your business and all the things you want need right and that's not just a one and done that's a constant nurturing of the relationship until at some point of course they can be rather autonomous so there's a lot of people like i know i need to bring in somebody but i i literally don't even know how to stop long enough to do it and if i did i don't know how to trust this other human with my precious business yeah so there's two layers of recoding one layer is the thought that has to change to support the outcome you want we're going to do that layer the other layer is i'm working on these thoughts i'm doing my affirmations i'm changing my thinking and i'm still stuck i'm resisting that's when we have to go a little bit deeper and we have to go into your unique situation the moment in which you created the uh fear the the conflict you know there's a conflict of if i do this i lose that or the story you've made up that says no one's ever going to help me right right so somebody usually has one of those three what i call profit drains it's holding them back in this situation if we just look at the the first layer of recoding what do you think someone would have to believe in order to be someone who easily asks for help and delegates oh you took a turn there for yeah so what would they believe to easily delegate what was the last part and ask for help oh my goodness they'd have to believe that there was somebody there who could swoop in and do a stellar job and that they could literally know and trust that things are being handled better than they could have ever imagined yeah that would be the dream right like that's the dream now there if we go deeper and let's say so i'm going to take a client that i worked with on this very thing one time she thought she actually had money mindset blocks she thought i have this fear of spending money that's what she believed but really what was going on was she had a fear of asking for help and someone letting her down and deep deep downside she had this story that how you know something happened in childhood that she created this immediate impression like okay when i ask for help you know no one's really going to have my back and i'm going to have to do it myself anyway so why bother and so she was basically living from that place i call it gathering evidence every time she had an opportunity to ask for help that story would run through her mind she's like yeah no one's going to really like help me properly so why bother it's just a lot of money to spend so when we recoded and she realized that she made up this limiting story one of the first things she said was wow like if i let go of the story and i actually um allow people to help me i could i could invest maybe a thousand to two thousand dollars a month in the kind of team i want but i could actually turn that into two hundred thousand dollars a month in revenue she knew what she wanted to do she knew how to grow her business she had locked herself in to this trap of don't hire help because of this limiting belief and you can give me any person who tells me i can't afford it no one's going to help me right i don't have time to slow down all of that roots back to a time you made a decision that you couldn't get help or whatever the story was and now you're kind of playing that out over and over and over again it's like a movie that you keep going to every every day for the rest of your life and the trick is you got to create a new movie you got to create a new possibility so what if i'm not hiring yeah like so let's just take this a little bit deeper what's the cost of not hiring you stay small so at what point i think you stay really exhausted when you're managing an entire business on your own because you're doing things you don't love to do that take you an immense amount of energy because it's not your passion it's not your greatest skill and you are not spending enough time in the things that fuel you and give you energy and life force and the enthusiasm and inspiration to go conquer the next mountain and this is the plight of so many business owners you've locked yourself into i can't afford it i can't believe somebody would ever help me the way i need to instead of well i'd actually be willing to get 90 percent there to get 5 000 further in my goals right like what if you knew i'm i'm willing to get 90 right you know like maybe they don't do it all the way right maybe they're not perfect but i get 90 percent of it right but it's growing me five thousand percent faster would that be worth it yes that's so now we've recoded the thought the thought is not can i afford it but can i afford not to invest a thousand dollars to make two hundred thousand dollars that's this now your brain should probably just went right like you start going wait a minute where am i doing that that's recoding you know you recoded the mindset that's driving your current level success and you recalibrate it so you can't achieve the next level when your molecules in your brain go wait what did she say like holy mackerel i feel like everything's shifting right now you feel it wow and so once we come up with that statement right which is beautiful because it shows you all the space in between that is fully not aligned with that right but also what would happen like you were saying strategically that you could do in order to manifest this way of thinking so what is the next part that you recommend to get us here so we have to start with okay so what is the thing that's in the way what's the belief i'm holding or the story i'm telling myself and we recode that to be well what has to what's congruent so that's step one with the level success i want now we have to look at is what do i feel willing to do okay because it's not just changing the thought you literally have to do things differently but once you recoded your mindset you're going to start to be more congruent that you're gonna be like well this is easy instead of resisting it you're gonna be like well of course i would do this so what's the action you would have to take so if we keep going with this theory what we might do next to say all right so i get it it's time to hire how you know what would i have this team do that would free me up to do the things that only i can do to propel business in the door or what could i outsource that would actually generate more leads or what could i could i actually hire someone to help me with some of the sales right so then we started to get strategic and focus on our money producing or goal shifting activities so part of the reason why i think people get a little uncomfortable with the idea of hiring is they're like well how am i going to afford that right how do i pay for it so what you have to do is you have to direct line it to what will i do or what will my team do that will drive the sales in the door and we can apply this to anything you know it's like if your fear is speaking you know a lot of people have this fear speaking i'm not good enough do i have a message to share well all right so what if you if you don't share this message you know you're not going to touch those one or two or three lives that have to hear your message now instead of okay well i'm scared to speak it's like all right well what's the next step i need to come up with the topic all right so i don't know how to come up with the topic all right so i'm going to hire someone who's really good at pulling out speeches and help me craft a speech then the next step is i'm going to go book myself on some podcasts and get on some stages right so you have to say what's the thing that's a shift and what's the actions i take that will make it easy to achieve that goal you could throw a seven a seven or ten or a hundred of these at me debbie we'll find a way to recode them i love that that first of all bully for you for the confidence of knowing the recipe to make a change and what i can feel when you're describing the possible strategies right you have a new thought like if i what what would that person have to be okay and then if i was that what would have to happen to make that happen and i hear you talking about strategies and what i'm feeling here is excitement yeah all of a sudden that sort of black cloud that was here about ah you know the overwhelm and i have to do this and i don't think in all that it feels quite limiting when i hear you talk about this possibility suddenly my excitement starts up about taking the action and about what's possible yeah um i want to tackle go a little bit deeper with that and also i want to tackle that thing but what happens if it doesn't work right yeah so there's there's one more pieces puzzle and some people will go through the recoding process and like but millennia still feel a lot of fear i'm resistant and so usually that's because there's something about the goal that they've missed like this is where my barometer of i think you said a goal that someone else's goal is this really your goal right like is this the thing you're lit up to do or are you living someone else's you know advice or coaching or the thing they said you should do so that's another thing to look for but um i here's here's a little test you can do when you think about having that thing that that money that goal met uh like living into that dream does it like light you up like you're just saying debbie do you get excited and expanded and think yeah this is my thing or does a bunch of fear come up and all of a sudden you think of every single reason why it can't work what this means is there's fear that you're letting uh drive the bus like i always say this is where you let the logic mind take over and make decisions for you because fear is oftentimes disguised as your logic mind so what you want to do is you want to notice like well is there anything that could shift in the goal and this thing being real that would actually make it feel better again at a client one time who she was building this um business she was an or professional organizer and she wanted to grow her business in a different way but she was so afraid she had so much nerves she had so many like things about it that weren't working she would focus on all the reasons why it wouldn't work and so i asked her like all right well what would have to happen for it to feel exciting for you and all of a sudden she realized the only thing that was in the way is she didn't have a bookkeeper that was what was literally in the way for her she was so exhausted trying to keep up with the receivables she's like well you know if i actually had somebody to help me with the invoicing and the receivables and like contain care of all that i think i would want to like go pursue this next thing i'm like well that's an easy thing to solve right so we plug in goal met has a bookkeeper to help her and now all of a sudden she's feeling excited and inspired again so that's that's really important do we have time that i could share this thing about what do we do if it doesn't work you gotta because now it's in my brain yeah i'm gonna hear this well i'm a realist right and i i don't like to pretend like everything's always going to work perfectly sometimes you shoot for the big goal and it doesn't work but here is what's so important i guarantee you that you're also not going to be where you started so what it does is it propels you towards it what you guarantee we won't be where we started meaning you can't start here go for a bold goal and then like you can't be go back you can't go back to here once you start pursuing the bold bold bold goal tongue twister and so you may not have gotten fully to the goal but you'll be somewhere between where you started and where you wanted to be meaning you've made progress you've you've learned things you've grown and my guess is you've got information about what you need to learn how to do that will make you better at achieving the goal that you recalibrate and set next right so let's say oh i'll i'll take another client example i have a client i work with who's in the the esthetician world and uh she's been an industry leader for like 40 years and so she's kind of learning how to bring the online side into the mix and she had set a goal to fill a new online program and she did sell some but what the problem was she didn't actually follow my advice right so she kind of went renegade and did things her way and she set the goal and kind of went for it and did some of the things but not all of them which is you know it happens and so what happened was she was really disappointed and sad and frustrated and like oh this isn't going to work for me and what when we talked about it and we kind of unpacked like the purpose of that bold goal it's not always to always meet the goal it's to recognize what your fears are that's getting in the way what your patterns are that aren't serving you and what do you have to shift in the way you do your your work to achieve goals easier and faster or maybe you learned that the goal really wasn't the goal you want you thought you wanted it but you're like maybe i don't want that and you know with this client one of the biggest a ha's was she realized i have not been asking for help she's one of those people that she struggled with that and i asked if i'm going to pull this off i need to hire someone that could take over a lot of the marketing that was a great aha for her so i just wanted to be clear what happens if you don't achieve the goal something else magical has happened that is so encouraging and i have to say i'm really curious how do you find your clients or how do your clients find you melanie me uh well there's it's funny you ask that you know i do a lot of speaking and i i'm you know very out there in the world a lot of people search for spiritual business coach and they find me on my website uh as a new client just came on today doing that um of a lot of people through my podcast you know they somehow hear the podcast somewhere and and start listening they're like oh yes this is the person i want to join their program or work with them and um i would say the the other thing is somewhere along the way someone has picked up like they've gone through my profit drains quiz or they've gotten my book or they they you know saw one of my free gifts and they took it and they started going through the process and they're like oh my gosh this is everything i need and and i gave them the confidence to hire me as their coach or take one of my programs how can we do the quiz how can you do the quiz okay i love this quiz by the way it's it's so illuminating um the quiz is at melaniebenzin.com forward slash dream we set up a special page just for the listeners of Dare to Dream and at the quiz you will find what your if you have one current hidden profit train is and i ask you about seven questions very fast you can take it in two minutes and then um based on how you answer it i will take you through a mini training on all right so this is your uh current profit drain here's what you need to do right now to recode that and start achieving bolder goals and create more financial flow in your life yummy so that melaniebenzin.com slash dream yeah and also i've got to mention we set it up so that when you take the quiz i will gift you a copy of my rewired for wealth book to help you kind of unpack what you're learning and to learn more about the recoding process and i'll explain what the seven money dna blueprints are and you can start to see like oh that's probably me and this is the one that i tend to operate out of and i'll i'll share a little bit about how to recode and what those four steps are and how you can use that in your own life or business too yummy thank you i'll be my gift yeah it's a great gift well awesome and you know along the lines i'm going to take a little break here to tell you that i've also got a special for dear to dream listeners and if you are an entrepreneur and you're ready to market and sell and create your own online products think about think ethic it's amazing a kind of anybody who's anybody and any corporation that's any corporation is using them right now for their platform so i worked with them to create a very unique deal just for dear to dream listeners and it is a powerful all-in-one platform where you can share your knowledge grow your audience and scale the business that you already love so using melanie's tools at melanie benson dot com slash dream you can learn how to upgrade your wealth and your business and then start creating product skills you'll get so much out of your way with the recoding and the wealth principle she teaches you so you could be educating 10 students or 10 million no matter this platform's there for you it gives you actually the easiest and the best support in the business go to thnk dot cc slash deb and as a dear to dream listener only you will receive the first three months of a business plan three and after that they give you a special deal it's very by the way very inexpensive and i have to say it's drag and drop check out my site i've got my stuff there it is so beautiful this platform i can't say enough so it is an exclusive deal just for you three months free go make some money use her principles and go make some money all at the same time thnk dot cc slash deb and if you're just tuning in i'm interviewing coach melanie or melanie benson her website melanie benson dot com and this is debbie dashinger and i so want to talk about this because this is my subject melanie this is what i coach and teach on out in the world and i run classes called the ultimate visibility formula and i work with spiritual entrepreneurs who are really do great work out in the world and they want to be exposed more to the media so i help them supersede that both with the tech and the strategy as well as some of the healing aspects of what's getting in the way of them and their visibility so i want to talk about that with you in regards to entrepreneurs who may have opportunities that they're not noticing or taking because they feel very stuck or they choose to feel invisible yeah you're this is really up for people right now um i want to talk about invisibility yes because this is this could be a real like mindset um like it's like the gremlins have parked in your mind and they won't leave right and you can be the most amazing you you can be so talented so passionate so powerful and everything you do but um i've noticed this kicks in when you start to compare yourself to others or when you um know that you're meant for something great but you're you're in this place that people aren't noticing you so here's here's a couple of different ways i see it play out debbie maybe uh you can tell me if uh if i'm hitting the nail on the head here for your people one is the people you're surrounding yourself with are not your tribe they are great people they're probably up to amazing things but the because they're not your tribe and and they don't see you they don't like have like this attention to who you are and what you bring to the table you feel like you're disappearing now part of that's on you right because you have to be willing to stand in your power no matter where you are but sometimes like you're just in the wrong crowd and i see this happen a lot when when entrepreneurs or messengers somebody who wants to share their work in the world they're showing up in these groups and they're trying to talk about what they do but it's like it's like they put the the um invisibility cloak on and they've just disappeared nobody you know like people like i don't get it and that's because you are probably not talking to people who have the problem that you solve or have the capacity to understand the work you do in the world and doesn't mean anything about you it just means they're not the people that you're meant to serve so now i think especially when you are you realize like i can't afford to be invisible in this community like i want to be seen here i want to be here you have to do a better job of messaging or you have to shift what you think you need and want from that place so instead of thinking i'm supposed to come here and get clients or i'm supposed to get get a whole bunch of bookings in this room right what if you shift and go well there's something for me to learn in the space maybe i'm supposed to connect with one person maybe i'm supposed to meet somebody that's going to introduce me to a speaker booker or whatever that thing is get it unattached to what you think you were supposed to get out of that space where you feel invisible and start asking yourself what is possible here again recode your mind shift the game you're playing show up in your power and let go of the attachment of what you think was supposed to happen i guarantee you you will stop feeling invisible and you will shine your light a lot brighter what kind of recoding would be possible with just the thought of who would i be if i was fully empowered everywhere i went every step stepped into every engagement i had with myself or anybody else i um i went through a really really rough time in 2010 and i literally would go into spaces where i used to be the rock star and everybody would be like you know lining up to come me melanie and i was like oh my god i feel invisible right now of course it was me like nothing really changed out there as much as i did and i was going through a really tough time in my personal life that was kind of causing me to not feel like i could shine and so i put this little note on my phone and it would it would you know as a reminder that would pop up every day it says just show up do you and shine bright and what that did was it reminded me i'm not going into any one of those rooms to do anything but just be me and shine my light bright and whoever's supposed to connect with me will connect and it has served me so well it literally like literally it changed everything about how i felt about myself and what would happen right or like i was giving a presentation and like okay well that was not my tribe and that's okay i practiced like i learned something but i think that the next layer of this is if we want to stop feeling invisible we have to really hone in like going back to that like getting out of overwhelm how could you hone in and really really like commit and and focus on being visible in your most powerful tribe like in the places that people get who you are and what you do and i think that's a huge game changer i really do too i love that and is there anything else that you want to add about recoding around this because i want to say i feel like i just talked to a client myself today and i have this particular woman is an amazing healer i can't even say enough about what she does in 20 minutes to change my world and her other clients world one of the most profound people i've ever met and yet there is also this part as soon as it comes to media or visibility that gets very young it feels really young to me and doubtful i'm not that i mean she even recently had somebody who works at a very well-known station say i think we want to do a reality show around you she's like no no i that's not me so yeah so this i've had to do a lot of recoding with people who are super talented around being willing to be seen and again everybody has a unique version of this like i don't know what your thing is but for some people they actually don't feel safe to be seen and it could be that there's a part of you that's in conflict with that kind of visibility so maybe there's this idea in your head that if i get more visibility i'm going to get busier my business is going to grow and hey my my primary relationship is so important to me or being a mom or a dad is so important to me and if i get more busy like can i pay so see what's happening the subconscious mind starts to create this flurry of why it's not safe to grow because i don't want to lose my time with my kids or my spouse so i can't afford to get bigger and what's really happening is you haven't created a way to grow that is congruent with your priorities and values so that might be one version debbie another version is you may have had a trauma we're being visible you got hurt and instead of dealing with that trauma and dissolving the hold that trauma is having over you you're letting it define the impact you have on others and so what i like to do is plug somebody back into their greater why can you achieve your greater why you know and not do this thing probably not so you know if you don't feel safe to be seen for whatever reason you're afraid of getting attacked you're like afraid of imposter syndrome like why i don't really know what i'm doing or i don't like being on video here's the bottom line you cannot afford to play small you cannot afford to hide and have excuses and and let all this stuff get in the way of doing the thing you were born to do because you will always feel torn you will always like feel like there's a part of you that has not been fulfilled and and especially if you're driven to make a difference in the world and you know you have to like get this out there to to help the people that you're meant to serve you can't let excuses and fears and conflicts and your limiting beliefs hold you back anymore like the world needs the light to to shine brighter right now let's just leave it at that right we need the light to shine brighter we need transformation and you know we need you to feel strong enough and so i'll leave you with this thought sometimes the commitment has to grow to be greater than the fear that's holding you back and if your commitment isn't strong enough to be greater than the fear that's holding you back yeah your commitment to the outcome has to be bigger than the fears that are holding you back because when your commitment is big enough debbie and i know you know this and as you're listening in like i know you know this when you're all in and you're like nothing's getting in my way you kind of let things roll off your back you're like okay well that didn't feel good but carry on i got to figure this out and if you're not at that level of commitment then maybe you're not pursuing the right goal that is such a tweetable i love that your commitment make your commitment greater than the fear that's holding you back thank you one of the things i love when you are called a profit amplifier i cannot imagine a more powerful moniker amplifier it's so beautiful especially because you do broadcast right so it's just a way through your coaching or broadcasting something cold profits i want to know because you talk about the secrets of shattering beliefs so we can actually break the six figure barrier like what you did what are some of the ways because you know you hear so much out there but it often becomes very pedestrian and frankly it sounds really good but in theory doesn't actually work for people and i would love if you have some actionable things that we can employ that create difference in the revenue sign in the revenue and profit sign yeah okay so i have to preface this with saying that any of these strategies can only work if you've recoded your mindset that that to be like at the six figure seven figure whatever your your stretch goal is if you don't what happens is your paradigm of possibility will reject them you'll be like oh that won't work for me right and i think that's a lot of times why people try strategies that should work and they don't is because your paradigm is rejecting it so i just wanted to kind of put that in into the mix here so there's a couple of things that really worked for me and i i actually went through traditional coach training um 22 years ago whenever it was and i learned how to be a coach selling a coaching package that was really really small and safe right and so it was like okay well i'm going to sell three hours of my time for $350 a month right and but yet i have this goal of making six figures and so when i started looking at the numbers of okay so i got to work with like 40 people a month right i was like that's not the model of success i wanted i wanted more freedom than that so the first thing you have to do the super actionable is you have to look at what is the your path of generating more revenue do you have packages you can sell are you trapped in an hourly rate like if you sell your time or your work product by the hour you're in a very hard time breaking free of the financial struggles so you've got to think what's the next layer of how i scale or leverage might be a better word how i leverage my ability to deliver this thing so can i raise my rates can i package what i do can i create um big ticket items that you know are for high high impact or do i have a way to actually create some kind of consistent revenue so i think you have to find that next step for you so if you're still in an hourly let's look at getting you a package um debbie one time i was working with a massage therapist and she's like this will never work for me i do massages i'm like i beg to differ i will find a way and what we did is we started looking at how she could sell packages of massages and start locking in people who were committing to 10 massages instead of like okay spend six or seven months inside a massage well you sell someone to 10 a package of 10 they're going to show up for their massages right so we have to take you where you are and find that next step of how do i leverage my time and my energy so that's one thing i suggest is like let's radically shift your paradigm of earning how do you get to the next level i think the second thing is you actually have to and this this is not on the earning side this is on the financial flow side you have to become a graceful steward of wealth and i have actually seen people who make seven figures and are completely broke because they don't know how to be graceful stewards of financial flow they spend everything they make or and more and then can't figure out why they have no money to pay their bills or they would be really good at selling but then you know they weren't really paying attention to what it was costing to produce that product so when you become a graceful financial steward what you do is you become someone who loves and have has a healthy loving relationship with the money flowing in their life you don't sit down to pay bills and go oh oh hey pay my bills right you go oh i get to pay my bills today this is so exciting like i love transmuting wealth in the world right like i'm paying my bill it's helped me someone else's prosperity you have to shift radically shift your paradigm of what it means to let money flow in and money flow out and for some people it means you need to really understand what you can create like you have to know all right these are all my work products when am i selling them when are they going to generate money and how many of them do i need to sell to make my goals right like you have to really drop in and go yeah i get my money picture wow i could go much farther but i don't know much time we have so want to honor our time commitments today that was deep though i'm sort of just marinating in that right now there's some very thought-provoking elements to that and i what i particularly loved besides that there's actionable pieces in there is the thought form about being a graceful steward of wealth i mean that is an upgrade if i've ever heard one because it doesn't just include the wealth but includes the stewarding of it and being graceful about it and those components seem very winning to me yeah like recoding just in that title yeah i know and i one of the money today blueprints is called an avoider i grew up being an avoider like i never balanced my checkbook i never knew how much money i had i didn't want to know how much money i had it was too scary and so i had to learn how to be graceful with money and how to how to honor the flow of it and if i didn't know what was coming in how would i know what to let go out and you know like really saying i commit to really understanding that and i have a lot of things i do you know about like creating financial reserves and stuff because i never want to be in that place ever again where i feel like i i don't have enough or like i don't have the command over it understood well we're coming to the end i have a couple of quick sort of personal questions okay i want to get to know you i want people to get to know you a little better um a fun little factoid about you is that you are an aficionado about best spas and beaches i love that a lifestyle enthusiast so tell me that hobby like do you have someplace you might recommend that it's like oh my god this was the best yeah i'm gonna say um well local to la is berkwilliams one of my favorite um localized sort of local spas is out in palm desert at the jw maria it's just it's just a great spa right it's just fun you just feel pampered there but i'll say out in the world um just i've had the opportunity to have some beautiful spa experiences and beach experiences and one of the most magical ones was on uh the island of capri in italy you know it's just one of those days where you're exhausted and you just find this local spa i don't even remember the name of the hotel i think it was called hotel capri really unique and it was just one of those like perfect massages on a day where you're exhausted touring and just i've i've just been super fortunate but pick pick your pick your location i'll tell you if i've been to the spa there oh my god what a great pastime i love that luxurious and dare to dream what is your next dare to dream what are your future dreams and goals where are you recoding to and up leveling to well um there's always several in my mind but the one that really pops for me is i i kind of have a mission where i want to i want to recalibrate the societal norm about uh busy and success like i feel like we have a broken definition of success and it's setting you know we started this conversation about overwhelm and i think we've set people out up to be exhausted overwhelmed and depleted in society's definition of success so i am writing a book about redefining success and how to actually like recode who you are to be successful in a way that's sustainable so that you're not burned out and exhausted and resenting your business or your work because it's stolen everything from you so that's one of my dare to dream moments i of course i have to put the opera thing in there like you know so get the book out and then get on opera's uh super soul sunday to talk about it that would be the big big big dream that's beautiful well again her website and gift to you is melanie benson m e l a n i e b e n s o n dot com slash dream you can get your free quiz a few questions there that will give you where you've got some issues to take a look at plus she tells you exactly how to break down the issues so you can move forward and the gift of her book so that's a lot of gifting thank you for being on dare to dream today melanie thank you awesome and i'm going to end today's show with this quote from william shakespeare no profit grows where there is no pleasure taken in brief sir study what you most affect next week on dare to dream radio i'm featuring dr jeff mcnary we're going to be talking about bridging ancient modalities with western psychology jeff works at the famous rithmia resort in costa rica and again subscribe to this dare to dream podcast also on youtube.com slash debbie dashinger so you can always hear this number one transformation conversation thanks for joining us and remember the secret of success is having the courage to begin in the first place