 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm your host Jonathan as I have Jonathan as I comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic the four Crucial factors that make up masculinity Okay, really quickly before we get started if my content resonates with you and you feel like gosh You'd like to talk to me to see if coaching works for you Then check out the link below and also check out the link for my VIP group as well All right, we're gonna talk about masculinity today I know you ladies love the idea of masculine and feminine energy because the Masculine leads and the feminine Wait the masculine leads and the feminine receives. Well, wait a minute. That's not right Masculine leads and the feminine receives. Okay, I know you love this because this makes up Exactly how relationships work because men should be doing doing doing doing doing doing doing doing doing doing doing And all you have to do is receive receive receive receive receive receive Well, if that really worked Then why aren't you happy because men aren't doing right? But you got to understand why because this whole conversation about masculine feminine energy is so skewed out of Portion because until you understand male behavior or actually let me backtrack until you understand Human behavior all of this stuff is a lot of talk talk talk talk talk It's just a bunch of rhetoric because it's so hard to determine masculine feminine energy How do you know is he 66 percent masculine 30 percent feminine? Is he 72 percent masculine and and 28 percent feminine? Am I as you a woman are you 66 and 24 this how you gonna figure out your percentages to see if there's polarity? I mean it's so confusing You can see I get riled up on this So I'm gonna talk about the real nitty-gritty behind male behavior Okay, the Neil the real nitty-gritty about around male behavior So you can understand men better and actually you can understand yourself better because let's throw out the rhetoric of Masculine and feminine. Let's just say the words man or woman or let's just say human being So what makes up a human being? Well, I have what I call the ABCs C's okay a B C's to C's okay, and if you understand the ABCs of human behavior This is gonna make a big difference and understanding men in particular And when you understand men you can predict their behavior and when you can predict their behavior You can make better choices. So let me ask you. Do you want to make better choices with men? If you said yes, please post a comment right now and say yes exclamation point I want to make better choices when it comes to men Okay, so the ABCs ABCs Stand for this remember their four crucial four crucial factors They are remember and these ABCs all right the a stands for age The age of a man makes a big difference. So the problem with most dating advice It's centered around, you know men that are in their 20s and 30s Those men that are the hunters and drivers and all send it around age age 20 and 30 year old most dating advice In fact very little dating advice helps women understand men in midlife And I always say midlife is after baby making years and before retirement. What am I I'm a midlife dating a relationship coach So you want to understand men in their 40s 50s and 60s? Better talk to someone like myself versus those that are coaching people in their 20s and 30s Because there's a big difference with age and what is it life experience a Person in their 20s or excuse me a person in their 50s is a lot different than someone in their 20s So age makes a big factor in making up a person's personality to make up their Masculinity to make up their behavior We have to start with age and just understand that all dating advice doesn't apply to every age group So when you're listening to advice you have to go beyond the age You have to go beyond the age and that's why we're going to go with the B The next is the B. So we said the A is age and B is biology. Yes biology men naturally are Driven by testosterone to some degree and that certainly makes up a part By the way ladies never do this in front of a guy never do that I can do that, but you can't do that But it makes up a part of a person's personality and their behavior is their biology and yes Testosterone drives us. It makes us somewhat single focused. It makes us need to go in the cave and that sort of thing It makes us hunters and that sort of thing But it is such a small percentage of understanding human behavior such a very small percentage of understanding human behavior and while there are some undertones that are important to Understand this we have to go beyond the biology and Even within biology, I'm going to say that on some degree I'm going to include this in biology But I'm going to even say intelligence is important in this factor too because the more intelligent a person is The less they tend to be driven by their biology by their primal forces The more intelligent the person is and I that's just now I'm going to say that's a judgment on my part I'm not saying that from a basis of absolute fact, but it seems to make sense The more a person is intellectual the more they're in their head the less they are in their body So the person that's more in their body Tends to be more primal in the way they approach dating and relationships and the more person who's more in their head Tends to be more cerebral So we can even look at that from the factor of biology that makes a difference So we can't lump masculine and feminine into man and woman these ways because you have to look at the complexities of a human being The complexities that's why I'm talking about the ABCs right now Okay, the C the C the first C because there's two C's the first C is culture Culture a person's culture makes up their personality it makes up their behaviors and that sort of thing certainly You know Asian men are different than Muslim men different than and You know culture even Jewish even though it's a religion. It's also a culture and you know My heritage is Mediterranean So even my culture is different than say person who was born and raised in America and their lineage is Predominantly American or English and that sort of thing because your culture how you're brought up from your culture makes a big difference On how you show up in relationship There's all these tiny little building blocks that make up a person's personality that makes up their masculinity Or their femininity if you will and by the way everything I'm a sharing actually applies for women as well This isn't singular to a penis or vagina It's it's basic human understanding of behavior and your culture makes a big difference in how you were raised By your parents or your surrogate parents or your collective family around you makes a big difference And understanding a person's behavior understanding their masculinity Especially when it comes to dating mating and relating and I'm going to get to that point in a second because the fourth one and this is hugely important the fourth one is They're conditioning They're conditioning what I mean to say is how they were conditioned as children and how they were conditioned as adults For example, and most of you know I talk about this Frequently if not incessantly I talk about childhood wounds and traumas Childhood wounds and traumas and if you're not familiar with the Hoffman process It's a deep dive in healing your in your childhood wounds and traumas That make up your personality as adults Because it is through our our wounding that makes up oftentimes our negative patterns and our limiting beliefs in life It is from our wounding and traumas that can make up our negative patterns and limiting beliefs So this is why people show up so chaotic in relationship Because they haven't healed the basic foundation of the wounds that may have happened in childhood This is also another reason why love attachment style and if you're not familiar with attachment styles. Where's my book attached? I don't have it here But you've seen me post show it before check out the book attached because these are all the factors that make up Who we are as a person Is our love attachment style styles are wounding our traumas and it's not just in childhood But in adulthood so for those people that have gone through divorces and they're traumatized by it or maybe they've lost a job Or maybe they've had health issues or maybe they had a family member or passed away in my case having my son pass away That affects who I am as a person So this whole rhetoric around masculine and feminine energy and the guy is gonna do and you're gonna receive is gonna make It so much easier to understand relationship And I'm saying that's hogwash because you have to understand human behavior the abc oops eyelash the abc's with two C's age biology culture and Conditioning this is what makes up a person and that's why people can be so incredibly chaotic This is why I'm a big proponent of self-love Of self-love my book what the heck is self-love anyway because this is the path to inner peace This is the path to becoming a whole person whether you're a man or woman when you become aligned with your masculine and feminine energy Basically when you become aligned in a human being when you become aligned and healed your wounds traumas and pains and suffering And you've actually operating the world from those From emotional maturity, and if you haven't watched my video on emotional maturity check it out I talk about the five signs of emotional maturity Because that's what matters most in the dating mating and relating realm not masculine not polarity polarity is great for the bedroom I get it you want the man to be dominant so you can be submissive in the bedroom And some of you don't want that but a lot of you do but that sounds great for the bedroom But not for a healthy happy relationship if you want to score a healthy happy relationship Then you definitely have to read the book eight dates that I talk about a hundred thousand times in my videos This is the pathway to figuring out how to have a great relationship John Gottman and his wife Julie talk about how to create an amazing relationship That's how you're going to make that happen in your life. It's not about masculine feminine energy It's about becoming a whole person within yourself becoming that sovereign person that can step into relationship going I know who I am and I know the value I show up and I'm going to set healthy boundaries for myself And I understand the way men operate because I understand the abc's that age biology culture and conditioning makes up A person's masculinity Whoa, did I cover a lot? God, I was on a roll there All right I'm sure you have some questions. So let's hear from you Write a comment ask a question. I'm I read all I do my best to read everything So write something down if you have a question. I'm going to read I'm going to do my best to even respond Or like or or give it a thumbs up or whatnot If you feel like that you want more of a personal touch then check out my group midlife love master It's my vip group for those that have minimal resources. It's incredibly Inexpensive but and if you want to work with me directly and you've got the resources check out that link as well All right I'm going to wrap up this video and I'm going to give myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug And I'm going to ask you to give yourself a hug right now because we all need hugs I'm going to give one to myself on your behalf as well And I'm going to wish you a super duper wonderful fantastic day. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now