 It's blended, blended, your search for a better beer is ended. When you call for Paps Blue Ribbon beer, 33 fine brews, blended into one great beer, 33 fine brews, blended. With Danny Kay still overseas entertaining the GIs in Japan, the makers of Paps Blue Ribbon continue their series of guest programs by great stars of radio. Ed Gardner in Duffy's Tavern, Eddie Cantor, and tonight Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris Rochester and Larry Stevens. Ladies and gentlemen, earlier this evening Jack Benny, Mary Livingston and Phil Harris went to their neighborhood theater to see Danny Kay's latest picture, Wonder Man. And now it's just about time for them to come out. So let's go down to the theater and wait for them. Music Gee, that was a wonderful picture, wasn't it, fellas? Yeah, that Danny Kay's a panic. He's really clever, that kid. You said it, Phil. He had that audience in stitches. I never heard anybody get so many laughs. If you ask me, Danny Kay is one of the funniest comedians in show business. Hmm. Nothing, nothing. It burns you up. I'm not burned up. Well, the least you could do is say you liked it. I liked it, I liked it. You came to see the picture, we saw it, now let's forget it. Oh, for heaven's sake, Jack. Every time you see somebody in the movies you get mad. I do not. You do too. You even got mad at Shirley Temple's husband. He was only in the newsreel. Well, he didn't have to keep kissing her all the time. Now let's forget it. Oh, come on, Jackson. Snap out of it. Phil, there's nothing to snap out of, believe me. If Danny Kay's picture was good, I'd be the first one to say so. The matter of fact, just last week, Mary and I went to the movies and when we came out, I raved about it. That was your own picture. Oh. And you were mad halfway through that until you put on your glasses and found out it was you. Never mind. Hey, Livy, are you talking about the picture Jackson made with Alexis Smith, the horn blows at midnight? Yeah. Phil, you saw the horn blows at midnight. Go ahead, tell the truth. What did you think of it? Well, it was all right. I mean, it had some nice things in it, but then how can the picture be a success with only two people? Two people? What do you mean? We had a big cast. I'm talking about the audience. Well, the fact that my picture didn't do good business wasn't my fault. It was the producer's fault. He shouldn't have put me in it. Anyway, the story of my picture was better than Wonder Man. What a plot. Well, Jackson, I thought the plot was wonderful and the advertisements were absolutely right. You know, the ones that said you'll be fascinated, thrilled and intergued. Intergued? That's intrigue. Well, why didn't they spell it right? They did. That's what threw them. That's exactly what happened. Yeah. Anyway, I still say the plot of Wonder Man was ridiculous. Imagine expecting people to believe that a man can die and his ghost can come back and talk to his twin brother. Yeah. Well, Jack, I thought it was believable when Danny K. died in the picture and his ghost came back. Well, you can believe it if you want to, but I don't. Jack, if you're going to pick stories apart, what about your other picture, the meanest man in the world? Well, at least in that picture I didn't die. You did the night I saw it, Bob. Anyway, don't change the subject. We're talking about Danny K. Danny K. with those pretty blue eyes of his. Well, Jack, you've got blue eyes. Well, I don't brag about it. I don't go making pictures in technicolor. No specialty numbers of his. Oh, brother. What do you mean, oh, brother? I like the way he sings. A git-got-gittle and a git-got-san. A git-got-gittle and a git-got-san. Yeah, some talent. A git-got-gittle and a git-got-san. A git-got-gittle and a git-got-san. In my program, I've got two guys that do that and sell tobacco at the same time. What a corny style. What a plot. Imagine a ghost coming back to life. Why don't you watch where you're going? You taxi drivers think you own the whole street. I got a good mind to... Don't pick on a fight with a taxi driver. Well, all right. Okay, driver, get going, get going. Yes, sir. I know they watch where they're driving. Hey, look, Jackson, you've been hot under the collar ever since we came out of the movies. How about going in this restaurant and having something to eat? Yeah, I'm hungry. Okay, okay, let's go in. This place is crowded, isn't it? Yeah, I guess we'll have to wait a few minutes. Let's play the jukebox. Hey, Mary, here's a new record I'd like to hear. It's by the sportsman quartet accompanied by Dick Joy. Okay, put it in an echo. Your search for a better fear is ended when you call for... blended into one great beer. Those are the best lyrics I've heard since that's what I like about the South. Not only the South, Jack, but Northeast and West. Hey, it answered me. Yes, wherever you go, perhaps blue ribbon always gives you that same satisfying flavor. For every delicious glass you drink is the result of careful blending. The blending of 33 fine brews into one truly great beer. That's the reason so many folks from coast to coast always order it with confidence, serve it with pride. They know wherever you go, there is no finer beer than perhaps blue ribbon. Blue ribbon, blue ribbon, blue ribbon, blue ribbon. Hey, it's stuck. Yes, I'm stuck on perhaps blue ribbon. Oh, oh, oh, I see. Come on, kid, let's see if we can find a table. Hey, wait a minute, Jackson. Here's a record I made with Larry Stevens. Larry Stevens? Well, go ahead and play it, Phil. Sure, OK. I see stars, no matter what dawn. Always one little thing that always gives you a... What service? Sitting here for five minutes haven't been waited on yet. Uh, here comes somebody now. Yeah. Say mister. Yeah. Are you the waiter? What do you think I'm going to do with these knives? Commit Harry Carey? I always have to run into him. Waiter, I'll have an egg sandwich. No butter. Yes, ma'am. One egg sandwich, save the points. Isn't that a cute way to order? Very funny, very funny. He's a regular Danny K. And what's wrong with Danny K? Nothing, nothing. Just take our order. Have you got any roast beef? Roast beef? Don't you know there's a war on? Well, that shows how much you know the war was over two months ago. Not between you and me. Well, I'll take an egg sandwich, too. And I want butter on mine. Another egg? Give it a grease job. What a character. Say, waiter, I want a hamburger with pickles, onions, lettuce, tomato, relish, and mustard. Yes, sir. One hamburger with a get-got-gittle and a get-got-sign and a get-got-gittle and a get-got-sign. How do you like that? Hey, look, waiter, never mind the relish on my hamburger. Okay. Hold the get-got-gittle. What do you want to drink, kids? Waiter, I'll have a glass of beer. And what kind? PA, BST. Hey, that's good. Yes, sir. That's my favorite beer. It's so brown, so good, so fully foamed. Yeah, and it's so free and easy on the draw. Mary, you're thinking about draft beer. Say, waiter, bring me five bottles of that Pat's Blue Ribbon beer. Five bottles? All at once? Yes, I don't like them intermissions. Well, Danny Kay's picture could have used a few. Boy, did I get that. Boy, did I get tired of sitting there. Now, wait a minute, Jack. Let's not go through that again. Everybody but you thinks Danny Kay is wonderful. Mary, it isn't that I dislike Danny. What I'm complaining about is that fantastic plot. Imagine a ghost coming back to this world. Well, you were a ghost, and you came back and the horn blows at midnight. Well, at midnight, it's possible. Now, let's not bring it up again. All right, here we are. Here's your sandwich, miss. Thank you. Here's your hamburger, sir. Thanks. And here's your... Oh, it tastes good. Ouch! Can't you wait till I put it down? And here's the check. I'll take it. No, no, Jacks. And I'll pay the check. No, no, Phil. Let me have it. Now hand it to me. I'll pay the check. No, Phil. I'll pay it. I'll pay it. I'll pay it. For heaven's sakes, I'll pay it. I've got to get home sometime. No, no. You didn't have anything. Look, boy, stop arguing. I'll pay for it. Don't be silly, Mary. It's up to me or Phil. You paid for the movies. Here you are, waiter. Keep the change. Oh, boy, a dime. Now my wife can have another baby. Go away, will you? Oh, come on, kids. Let's go. I think I'll go home, Jackson. Me too. All right, kids. I'll see you tomorrow. Phil, you go right by my house, don't you? Yeah, come on, Livy. I'll drive you. So long, Jackson. Bye, Jack. Goodbye. Well, I might as well go home, too, I guess. Gee, that was a long walk. But I did pretty good. 12 blocks, and I stepped on every crack. Got my key. Rochester, open the door. Who are you talking to? The milkman. Man, Rochester, do you expect me to believe you were blowing kisses to the milkman? Boss, why do you think we've been getting half and half lately? Gosh, I'm tired. I walked all the way home from the movies. Couldn't get a bus? It wasn't that. After watching Danny Kay for two hours, I thought a walk would do me good. How was the picture, boss? I was never so disappointed in my life. The story was so unbelievable. Who believes in ghosts? Who believes in which? Ghost. You don't believe in ghosts, do you? Not exactly, but when I shake hands with somebody and say, give me a little skin, I want to feel it. Rochester, that's not what I'm talking about. You're not afraid of ghosts, are you? I'm afraid of anything that's overdrawn at the blood bank. Oh, that's being childish. Maybe, boss, but that's how I feel. Well, if you don't need me anymore, I think I'll go to bed. Go ahead, Rochester. I'm going to the library and read for a while. Any cigarettes in there? Yeah, lucky strikes all over the place. Okay. Good night. Hello, Polly. Hello. What books have I got here? From log cabin to president. From newsboy to president. From haberdasher to president. They're making it tougher all the time. Here's one, the life of Madame Curie. Property of Los Angeles Public Library. I'll have to put a cover on that. What's this one? Old ghost tales. Silly. Now, let's see what it says. Forward. For those who do not believe in ghosts, this book is respectfully dedicated in the hope that the authenticated evidence contained within these pages will dispel all doubts on the subject. On the subject? On the subject? Quiet, Polly. As the last dying gas leaves the body, the spirit is released into the cosmic atmosphere. This ectoplasm, when returning to its terrestrial habitat, often takes the form of an apparition clothed in white... Ah! Rochester! I'm just changing the bedsheet. Well, you don't have to wear it. Now go to bed. Good night. It was in 1887, on the night of January 4th, in the Old MacPherson Mansion, when the secret of the returning squire first came to... Oh, I don't know why I'm reading this anyway. There's no such a thing as a ghost. Be too sure of that, Benny. Well, I know that I'm... What? Who am I talking to? Who are you? Me? The ghost of Jack Benny. But I'm not dead yet. You can what? Why? Oh, what's the matter with me? The first thing I know I'll be talking to myself. It serves me right for even reading about. But then, let's see, what if there is anything to this story? The MacPherson Mansion had been vacant for 15 years, when suddenly one night a light appeared in the attic. That was the beginning of the first... Oh, oh, oh! Well, who's that? Hello. Who... who are you? Diamond Jim Brady. Yes, and drank well. I was surrounded by beautiful women. Nightclubs and cabarets threw open their doors to me because I always picked up every check in the house. I had fun. Is that fun? Well, let me tell you something, Jim Brady. If you didn't stuff yourself with that rich food, you might be alive today like I am. He is made to spend, so spend it. Spend, spend. Say, maybe he's right. Maybe I ought to... Oh, no, I don't want to start inflation. But then, say, what's the matter with me anyway? I don't believe in ghosts. This is all in my mind or something. I had to go and see that. I think I'll go upstairs. Wait a minute. That sounds like music in the distance. Violin music. That's all right, Mr. Benny. What? Who are you? I am the ghost of Antonio Stradivarius. Stradivarius? The greatest violin maker that ever lived. Yes, Mr. Benny. All of my life I work. I live. I die just to make it a violin, a beautiful instrument. For 85 years I put in my heart and a soul in it. And in a five minutes you break it. But Antonio... I plead it with you. Give up with the violin. But Tony... In the name of a pagan... In the name of every musician, I beg you, don't play the violin. I am so tired of it turning over into my grave. Look out, look out, Mr. Stradivarius. You can't get through that door. It's locked. Hmm, you went through it anyway. Gee, I'm not a... I know I'm not a Fritz Kreister or a Heifetz, but I'm not a Spike Jones either. This serves me right for going to see Danny Kay's picture. Tell me all upset. I'm going to forget, and forget, and forget. What's that? Maybe it's my nerves or my imagination. It sounds like men marching. Wait a minute. Who are you? Adolf Hitler. Then you are dead. Yeah, and I'm lucky I'm dead. If I was alive today, they'd kill me. I was in Germany, Adolf, only a couple of months ago. I was in Nuremberg, Frankfurt, Munich, Stuttgart. You was in Berlin, too. Yeah. Yeah, I was in Berlin, too. Not as hot as where you are, Adolf. How do you like it down there? You ought to see it, Adolf. Remember how nice the chancellor he looked and the Adlan Hotel and the Kaiserhof? Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing left of them. Remember how beautiful Unterdein Linden was? Yeah, Unterdein Linden. Well, now it's six feet Unter. Adolf and Willemstra in the Skala-Aparhaus and all the other beautiful buildings and streets. There's nothing left of them now. It's just Adolf. It's rubble. All rubble. But there's one thing we owe you, Hitler. It's the greed and tolerance. And lust for power go hand in hand. They all lead to destruction. Go ahead, go ahead. Don't bother me. I'm reading. Whoever saw a ghost with a mustache anyway. Well, let's see. Where was I? The McPherson Mansion. I wonder what he meant by rootin, stootin, rootin. The McPherson Mansion had been vacant for 15 years when suddenly one night a light appeared in the attic. Say, bosses, everything all right? Yeah. Yes, Rochester. I think I'll go to bed now. You had me scared there for a minute. I thought there was a ghost in the house. Oh, sorry, boss. I know you don't believe in ghosts. Of course not. Good night, Rochester. Good night. Hey, wait a minute. Walk up to my room with me, will you? Good night, Polly. Good night. Jack Benny will be back. Meanwhile, Phil Harris and the sportsman will play a new hit song of the year. Yes, Paps Blue Ribbon is the blended beer, full flavor blended from never less than 33 fine brews. This full flavor blending is the only way in the world to obtain that distinctive tang and sparkle, that day in, day out uniformity that folks everywhere find in Paps Blue Ribbon. So order it with confidence, serve it with pride. No matter where you go, there is no finer beer than Paps Blue Ribbon. And now, here's Jack Benny. Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of my entire cast and myself, I just want to say there's been a lot of fun pinch hitting for Danny K. tonight. I hope Danny was listening over in Tokyo. We'll be seeing you on our own Lucky Strike program next Sunday over another network. Good night, everybody. You'll be listening to Jack Benny and all the gang pinch hitting for Danny K. presented by Paps Blue Ribbon. Next week, with Danny K. still overseas entertaining the GIs, Paps will bring you Ed Gardner and Duffy's Cavern, and the following week you'll hear Eddie Cannon. In the meantime, Danny K. says, keep listening. I'll be back in two weeks. This program was brought to you by the Paps Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Peoria, Illinois. This is Dick Joyce speaking. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.