 I found myself reflecting on the fact that 20 years ago in 16 days I knelt in this room in front of this altar to be ordained a priest. And I found myself reflecting over, oh, thank you, that's great. Just a kid, just a kid compared to some of us gathered here. But I just found myself reflecting on that in somewhat of the journey that brought me to this altar, to this table. I recall a number of months before I was ordained I was having three dreams that I had to take to my spiritual director. The first dream was coming to my ordination day and realizing that they had forgotten that I was going to be there. So I'm ready to get ordained and they're like, oh my gosh, we totally forgot you're here. It's like, what do you mean you forgot I'm here? I'm getting ordained. Well, I know, but there's just a lot that goes on in ordination like having the person that needs to be ordained, all right? So I remember in this dream I sat in the back of the congregation because there were no seats for me up here for my own ordination. That was a nightmare, all right? So that's number one. Number two comes to my first mass and they had forgotten that I needed vestments, all right? So I celebrated my first mass in a suit and tie, which was a good look. I'm not going to lie to you. It was a good look. All right. And the third one was, and this was every new priest's nightmare was the missile had no ribbons in it, all right? So I as a new priest sitting up there looking like an idiot in a suit and tie, it's like, how the Lord did this guy get ordained, which I was asking myself. And I guess what I realized was I wanted everything to be perfect in the moment that I gave that to the Lord and said, you know, Lord, I'm not worried if it's perfect. Just let me be at peace. No more bad dreams. I remember the morning before I was ordained, which was the old Holy Spirit friary up on top of the hill, I remember praying there. I couldn't sleep very well that night. So I got up very early and one of the other friars who was always up very early was there. It was just he and I, it was really a beautiful moment. He had been my spiritual director for years and he and I were sitting in the chaplain from the blessed sacrament early in the morning praying. And I had this holy fear and that holy fear is maybe what our lady experienced when the angel Gabriel came and said, you're going to bear the son of God. There was this fear. He says, don't be afraid. But there's this holy fear. Not that this wasn't what I was supposed to do because I was confident that this is what the Lord wanted me to do. But this holy fear about like, what am I doing? What am I getting myself into? And I remember sitting next to this priest and I said to him, I said, Father, the prayer of my heart right now is, dear Lord, don't let me screw this up, amen? Knowing me. You know, I know me. All right. And God chose me to be a priest and I said, Lord, that is great act of faith that you would choose me, broken, humble, sinful, all of that that you would choose me to become a priest. Just don't let me screw this up. I think the Lord's heard that prayer. But I come here again. We come here again to this altar. And I have to say, I suppose since that moment, there's this sense of a devotion that I have to alter. This becomes my place of refuge. Everything can be chaotic and everything can be nuts. And we walk down. I walk down this altar and this becomes my place of safety. This becomes my place of quiet. This becomes my place of peace in the midst of chaos here at this altar. And for a reason, perhaps known only to God, that he's invited me and he's invited many of us to be able to be ministers of this altar. And that's why I think it's fitting that we gather here tonight before this altar and coming before the Lord and walking through this spirit of repentance and the spirit of confession to be able to come here and to be able to encounter the Lord. As I've been praying over the last many days and weeks for this mass, particularly for this time, the image I had was of us. I think it was from the movie Abandoned Brothers. And there was a group of guys and they were coming back after an awful battle. And they looked worn and they looked beaten and they looked tired and they were just kind of step by step and they were all coming together and just kind of looking at everybody. And you could tell just by looking them that they had been in a hard fight. And in the midst of that, when they got to the camp, it was like this place that was safe and they began to share their story of struggle and of difficulty. And they began to talk about the things that they've seen and the things that they've experienced. And I see that in us. You know, so many of the stories that we come here and we've had difficult years and we've had struggles and we've had great years and we've had wonderful and many, many situations that bring us together here tonight as a band of brothers. But there was this sense that when they caught together that they had found this place that once again that they were safe, that they didn't have to put on airs, that they didn't have to hide, that finally they were together and they were at a place. That's brothers where we are here tonight. We gather around this altar as John spoken, coming from literally a battle, from a spiritual battle that I think at all times, we're not even aware of it. Because we get so busy with our life and so busy with our ministry and our jobs that we forget that we're in the midst of a battle. And we come back here tonight to this altar that each one of us has been called to. This, brothers, a place of refuge for us, a place of safety, a place of hope. And we come here to be able to encounter the Lord. To be able to encounter there is in Christ. To be able to encounter mercy. And unfortunately that's not always our experience, huh? When we hear in the Gospel today that Jesus says, judge not. Jesus was talking about not judging anybody, but my experience oftentimes is that we judge ourselves. In fact, we're often most difficult on our self. I recall an encounter I had with the priest who was talking and sharing about the struggle he had to walking up to this altar because he said every time he walked up to the altar, he could feel the shame of the sin that he had committed. And coming to this altar was simply a reminder of his brokenness and a reminder of his sinfulness. But, brothers, what he wasn't experiencing was the measure of mercy. This is the measure of mercy. The Lord invites us, knowing our struggles, our weakness, and our brokenness, and he still calls us. Amen? When the Lord chose David, he knew exactly who he was choosing. He knew exactly what David would do, and he still chose David. Brothers, we ought not judge ourselves. When we hear in the scripture today, judge not, he's speaking to ourselves. That this is a place where we encounter mercy. This is not the place where we encounter judgment, amen? So I find myself reflecting on the reading of last Sunday's Gospel. The woman who comes in, she's weeping at the feet of Jesus in the midst of this room, in the midst of this meal, that she was not invited to. Nobody invited her to come, and yet she still came. Knowing that all of the men save one would not want her there. And Simon says, if you only knew the type of woman that she was. But the reality is, he knew exactly the type of woman that it was. And it was that's the reason that why she came. Because he knew the type of woman. And that he knew that she could come to him, and he would not turn her away. Because he saw her first as a daughter. And we find in that act, and we find in that scene a repentant woman who comes before the Lord, knowing that he would not turn her away. Knowing that she would encounter mercy. Knowing that she would encounter love, and forgiveness, and kindness, and all of that, and she goes there because she knows that Jesus wouldn't turn her away. And when Simon says, if you only knew, Simon, you didn't understand. She knew exactly. That is what we encounter. The measure of mercy is that, brothers, is that we are encountering the Lord. And he knows all of our weakness, and he knows all of our struggles. And he still chooses us. Every time we come to this altar, to minister at this altar, the Lord is once again inviting us to come. Because this invitation is to everybody. What do we have to walk through? We have to walk through the spirit of repentance, as the woman did, as we did in the beginning of this session. And we come before this, and we experience the Lord's mercy. And we are changed. In the midst of our fear, we find courage. In the midst of confusion, we find clarity at this altar. In the midst of despair, we find hope. In the midst of judgment, we find mercy. Brothers, we are changed at this altar. Amen? I had the occasion a number of years ago to be able to go to Africa. And I remember we were celebrating Mass, and at the office, they came in with a normal bread and wine, but I noticed the line was long, and it wasn't just bread and wine. The woman comes up and she presents a blanket that she had made, and I place it next to the altar. And they come up with crops and corn and wheat and all the things, the fruits of the earth, and they're bringing all of this to the altar. And there's this long line of people bringing clothes that they have made, and they offer all of that. They come up with a live chicken, all right? They come up with this live chicken, and it's squawking, and whatever it is that chickens do, and they hand me this chicken. It's like, what do I do with this? All right, we never talked about this in seminary. I've got this chicken, and I just kind of look, and I pass it on to the person sitting next to me, because I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it. A woman comes up, and she comes, and she presents me a baby, huh? I always wanted a baby. This is great, all right? She presents me this baby, and it's like, what do I do with this? They presented everything. Everything was being brought to that altar, which is what we do. It's not merely bread and wine that's placed on this altar, brothers. It's my brokenness. It's my fear. It's my sinfulness, and it too is changed here at this altar. So we go before the Lord, and we ask Him, what is it that you desire to change? Not only are you going to change bread and wine, but you're going to change me, that you invite me to breathe my brokenness, and my sinfulness, and my weakness, and whatever it is that we place all of this on the altar. And we as priests gather all of this in, and as the Lord transforms and changes the bread and the wine into His body and blood, He does the same thing with my fears, and with my emptiness, and with my weakness, and with my chaos and confusion. He changes it all, brothers, if we allow Him, if we allow Him. So we come before the Lord, we come before this table, each one of us invited by name. He invites us here to encounter mercy, to encounter His Son. He's not judgment. And as the bread and wine is changed on this altar, so may we. Amen.