 Lux presents Hollywood. Leader Brothers Company, the makers of Lux Flakes, bring you the Lux Radio Theatre, starring Paul Douglas and Linda Darnell in Letter to Three Wives. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. William Keely. Speaking from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen, as a motion picture director, I know the first requirement of a good picture is a good story. So when Letter to Three Wives received the Screen Writers Guild Award for the best written comedy of 1949, it was obvious that Joseph Mankiewicz had turned out an unusually clever screenplay for the 20th Century Fox hit. It concerns a letter written by a small town siren to Three Wives and how that letter threatens their security and happiness. Tonight we have Linda Darnell in her original role and co-starling with her, also from the original cast, is Paul Douglas, who achieved enormous success on Broadway before he brought his refreshingly different talent to the screen. We know you're welcome, Letter to Three Wives, just as we have welcomed letters from thousands of wives about Lux Flakes. We're very grateful for these letters because they tell us exactly why you like our product and with Lux Flakes, that isn't hard, is it? The curtain rises on Sol Siegel's production, Letter to Three Wives, starring Paul Douglas as Porter and Linda Darnell as LeMay. I've just finished writing the letter. In a moment, the messenger boy will take it down to the dock. He'll deliver it to my three dearest friends, Deborah and her brother. Now I'm on a good excursion boat and tonight after the excursion we'll all live together again, the first in advance of the season of the country car. I'm Mrs. Ross, Addy Ross, but this isn't my story, not exactly. It's the story of my three dearest friends. Let's start with Deborah, shall we? Mrs. Brad Bishop. I've known Brad a long, long time. It was Brad who gave me my first black eye and my first kiss. When Brad came out in the war, he brought a wife with him, Deborah. I wonder what they were talking about at breakfast this morning. Brad, I bet your bag out in the hall. You going somewhere? Just to the office. But why, the suitcase? Well, because I know these Saturday conferences, they go on and on and on. You didn't tell me you planned to be away overnight. Well, I'm not planning anything of the kind. The bag is just in case. What are you going away to the dance? I bought the dress in Vogue. You like so much. Brad, I don't want to go to the country club, not without you. What are you so afraid of? Well, it's the thought of going without you. Brad, Addy Ross... Well, what about Addy Ross? She used to be sort of your ideal, wasn't she? What's my not being there got to do with Addy Ross? I never knew you read Vogue, Brad. I never thought men bothered much about it. But I told you, I picked the magazine up on the train. And then I happened to see a dress that I thought would look very smart on you. What's wrong with that? Well, I'd better be on my way. I have to pick up Rita. You'll find about tonight, won't you? Yes, of course. Brad, it just happens that that dress you picked out of Vogue is exactly the dress that Addy wore on... Oh, Debora won't stay mad at him long. She's too much in love with Brad. Women are so silly. Right now, she's in front of Rita's house. Rita and George. Morning, George. Where's Rita? She's coming. On behalf of the underprivileged children of this town, I'd like to thank you over privileged ladies for sharing your excess privileges with us. George, there's something different about you today. Something odd-looking. Just that usual two-headed schoolteacher look. But there's no school on Saturday and you're all dressed up. There's, oh, just my little old blue search. First Saturday of the trout season, too. Brad says you never miss... What so happens, I have something better to do. Debbie, darling, we'll just have to stop by at the station. I've just got to get my script off on the 842. Do you mind? We'd better hurry, Rita. Bye, George. Bye, Debbie. What's George being so mysterious about? I wouldn't know. It seems we're not talking. Oh, I'm sorry. It's just one of those things. Was he acting strangely? Oh, only he's not going fishing and all dressed up. Well, so he is. His blue suit. And on Saturday of all things. Oh, do you mind if I turn on the radio? It still isn't working. It's just as well. I'll save myself listening to the murder of my little brainchild. Rita, why on earth do you do it? Five radio programs a week, up until dawn, almost every night, writing them. Why? Because each week in return, a hundred pieces of what Addie Ross calls the most restful shade of green in the world. Addie again. Why is it that sooner or later we always wind up talking about Addie Ross? I wonder if she knows how much we do talk about her. What we say. And how we feel about her. Well, now you've met Deborah and Rita. What about Laura May? Laura May's already at the dock. She's been waiting for her friends to arrive. There you know. Just a husband of hers running like mad to catch the train. Where's Addie? Isn't she here yet? Addie Ross left town this morning. Left town? What are you talking about? She's left. For good. But why? What happened? Must have been very sudden. Laura May, for heaven's sake, tell us. Well, the doorman told me she subleased her apartment last week and yesterday she sold her car. So much for your sudden decision. Well, if that isn't just like Addie. But why such a big secret? Oh, who knows why Addie does or doesn't do anything. Let's get on the boat. Wait a minute. Yes, young man? I got a message for the mesdame's bishop. Hollingsway and Phipps. From the dear departed, I'll bet. Addie's so tactful. She even puts us in alphabetical order. Open it up for you. No. No, let's wait. For what? To her back from the boat trip. Knowing Addie. I mean, while it is spoiled our day, it's going to be tough enough taking care of 50 children. She'll spoil my day. Addie Ross never saw the day she could spoil my day. All right. Read it, then. Dearest Debbie, Laramay and Rita. As you know by now, you'll have to carry on without me from here. It isn't easy to leave town, to tear myself away from you three dear, dear friends who have meant so much to me. And so I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to take with me a sort of memento. Something to remind me always of my three dearest friends whom I want never to forget. You see, girls, I've run off with one of your husbands, love Addie. Well, if that's her idea, who does she think she's kidding? If I ever catch up with that character, I'll tell her. Maybe it is. May I suggest? The captain seems to think, well, now he's getting rude about it. Who's getting rude? But either they get aboard this cover we go without him. Well, it looks like Addie has crowned one of us Queen of the May. Come on, girls, let's take a boat ride. Nothing to do now except entertain the kids and have a nice, relaxing boat trip. Girls, what are you looking so serious about? But it couldn't be your husband, Deborah, or yours, the Army, and certainly not yours, Rita. Well, but it must be one of them, mustn't it? And you won't know poor things not for hours and hours. What are you doing, Deborah, reading the kids' story? Oh, but I know what you're thinking about. You're thinking about the time you married Brad, and how he brought you to our town, and how you met us all that night at the country club. Looks like we're the only ones left at the table. Yes, yes it does. Well, suits me. Have some more wine, Deborah? I shouldn't, but I'm going to. Who says you shouldn't, Brad? No, I say I shouldn't. Now, let's see. You're Porter. Porter Hollingsway. I do that too when I'm drunk. Try to remember names. And Laura May, she's your wife. After, excuse me, Porter, I'm trying to get everyone straight, Brad's friends. I'm behaving like a fool. Don't you feel good? Yes, just look at it. We're coming here in the first night in town. I feel that way too when I'm drunk. You want to dance? I want it, Brad, to be proud of me. Me, I'm not much at dance. It makes me nervous. Why didn't I stay home? Can't do a thing well, leave it alone, I always say, especially the Rumber. But I have Spanish brother, something like Laura May. My wife comes from an old Spanish family named Finney. In many South American countries, there are many very distinguished families with Irish names. Laura May looks good dancing with her. She looks good. He's got class. With she dancing with a tramp, she'd look like a tramp. Got no class of her own. I like class. You like class? Oh, very much. You hit the jackpot, Brad Bishop. Class plus money. Count them on the fingers of one hand in this town, throw away some fingers even. Let's see now, there's Brad and who else? Yeah, there's Addy. Addy? Addy who? Addy Ross. Funny, people always figured that someday Brad and Addy would sort of... Brad and Addy, what? I'll give up. Samba can be danced properly only on the side of a hill, on ice. Alibi, George is afraid of getting wrinkles in his new suit. Sit down. My first new party dress in years. Order, thanks to my dear wife and her millions of loyal listeners. Shall we drink them all, one by one? Deborah, how about some coffee, dear? Black coffee. Thank you, Rita. Thank you very much. I think your new tuxedo has class, George. Class. We thank you. Funny thing for a wife to give her husband a tuxedo. And even funnier thing for a husband to give his wife. Here's no funny, George. I still don't think a woman ought to buy clothes for a man that's contrary to nature. Tell us about nature, Porter. What's a man's world? See something you want? Go get it. That's nature. That's why we were made strong women weeks. Strong content provided for the week. That's what a man's for. Teach our kids more of that. Be more men. Those standards don't apply to me, Porter. In this man's world, I'm not a man. I'm a school teacher. I knew we'd get around to that. All right. School teachers ought to be paid more. What happens if they're not? How does a school teacher provide people? How does he pay the rent for the plays and the poems of Shakespeare? Does Porter have been shooting off his big mouth again, George? Just shut up, Laura. It's time to dance again. You know what he'll come up with when he starts knocking on that brandy bottle? You shut up. You just shut up. I told you this would be fun, Deborah. We're all pals. Just happy things. Champagne, Mr. Bishop, shall I serve it, sir? Well, this is an occasion with the compliments of Mrs. Adi Ross, sir. Adi Ross? Porter, you were saying something before about Brad and her. Where is Mrs. Ross waiting? I don't believe she has arrived yet, sir. That's Adi for you. Always the right thing at the right time. And who is Mr. Ross? Mr. Ross took a powder about five years ago. No such thing. She gave him a heave hoe. He went up for a paper one night and never came back. I was saying that Adi Ross has class. And he knows class, like I know navigation. Actually, what Adi has is taste. I can buy taste. Adi's got class. Taste and discrimination. Women usually get the amount of magazines, but they're part of Adi's natural equipment. Also, fad lights, white side walls, and a heater. Isn't it fun, Deborah? When the boys all agree on Adi Ross and George Washington, nobody else. They're playing a waltz, Deborah. Come on, let's show them a flash of old Vienna. Brad, please. If you don't mind... If the floor gets crowded. If you're sure you want me to do it. Of course I'm sure. You know, something tells me this is going to be quite a pause. I'm glad that the dance just as Deborah clipped over the seam of her dress and then sprung. I mean, it was that last glass of wine that tripped her. Anyway, it made quite a scene. Ruin my entrance completely. Deborah, darling, what on earth the matter with you? Let her alone, Brad. Come on, honey. You just come over. Please take me home, were you to take me home? Look, you've got the idea that everybody's just waiting for you to come out. Maybe not. But Brad is. Because he's worried about you. He's ashamed of me. And I wanted so much to be walked... Right. Like Adi Ross. The right thing at the right time. But all I did was humiliate you. What happened tonight could have happened to anyone. Now just take my word for it and come on. There's Brad out there on the terrace with someone. I told you he was worried. Oh, I see that Adi finally got here too. Who wasn't it, Deborah? That's when you first heard about me. And a little seed of suspicion took root. That's why you dread ever going home today. My letter. You're so sure it is Brad, aren't you? Who knows? Maybe you're right, darling. Maybe it is. The moment our stars will return with Act Two of Letter to Three Wives. Here's our producer, Mr. Keely. Act Two of Letter to Three Wives, starring Linda Darnell as Laura May and Paul Douglas as Porter. There's an excursion boat on the Hudson River. A board of three young attractive wives who a couple of hours ago received a carefully timed letter from their dear friend, Adi Ross. Adi has told them that she's run away with one of their husbands and no one knows better than each of the wives how easily he might be her own. Hi, Debbie. Hi, kids. I just took a minute to enjoy the view. Well, I think I've got the answer. Laura May, she's kept herself as busy as a bird dog ever since we got on this boat. If you're busy, you don't have time to think, do you? It depends what you think about. It depends why your husband should suddenly decide to go to New York on a Saturday morning. Because Brad said, Brad, I'm talking about her husband. I saw Porter at the station when I mailed my script. He nearly knocked me down. Why should you think I meant Brad? Maybe because it might keep you from wondering why your husband dressed up on a Saturday with no school. You're being a little too touchy about a perfectly innocent remark, it seems to me. No, let's stop this sudden bickering. We'll be beginning to behave like some movie about a women's prison. Not a bad comparison at that. Oh, leave it to Eddie, breaking the news to us like this. Knowing we couldn't do a thing about it all day long. Well, dear, enjoy the view. Didn't George go fishing today? Yes, Rita. Why? Oh, but I don't have to tell you. You know you're to blame, don't you? You know how George feels about teaching school. You also know how he feels about you and earned money writing those radio scripts. Do you remember the time you insisted upon having those radio people come to dinner? Mr. and Mrs. Manley, remember, dear? Now, listen to me, Sadie. They're very important people, so let's get a couple of things straight. First, when you announce dinner... I know, I know. I ain't supposed to say soups on. Okay, dinner's served. Oh, thank you for people that you're gonna eat here. It happened to be in charge of a great many radio programs, including the one I write. You know what I like about your program? Even when I'm running the vacuum, I can understand it. Thank you so much. You brought a uniform, I hope. That's kind of corny, but I'll wear it if I gotta. Well, I'm back. Oh, did you get the liquor and cigarettes? Right, too. Well, where's the Scotch, George? I didn't buy any. Too expensive. Scotch? People in show business... Well, you know what I mean. Those kind always drink Scotch. I know what you mean, dear, but I wish you wouldn't say it in radio English. That kind. Not those kind. There are men who say those kind, who earn $100,000 a year. There are men who say, stick them up, who aren't even more. I don't expect to do either. Nor are you expected to pay for the Scotch. You're quite right. It's funny how it slips my mind now, man. Don't be silly, darling. Rita, isn't all this a little pretentious? All right, so I'm out to impress the boss. What do I get for that? 30 years? I'm sorry. I'll call up the liquor store. They can send over some Scotch, all right? George, just one thing, please. No jokes about radio. Oh, the time for joking about it is past. Radio has become a very serious problem now, like juvenile delinquency. That's just what I mean. Cracks like that. Oh, here, this came for you, this package. For me? What is it? I don't have any idea. Oh, wait a minute. There's a card. For George on his birthday, if music be the fruit of love, play on. Addie. Addie Ross. Rita, look. Beethoven's string quartet. George, your birthday. And I forgot all about it. Don't worry about it, darling. I'm not much for birthday. But you are. You're very much for birthday. Well, this time you had a lot on your mind. Even so. Thank you, George. What a memory Addie's got. Almost a year since we talked about Beethoven. Ha! Leave it to Addie. When the company came, the man lays in quarter, Lorne, George was playing the record album I'd sent in. Sometimes I just don't think we appreciate the miracle of the phonograph. Of what kind of set is that? That radio phonograph. Well, this Mrs. Manley is just something that students put together for me. Well, if I were you, I'd stick to the established trademarks. Uh, Puritone, say, or a Sonabelle. It's Puritone. Yes, or a Sonabelle. I thought it sounded all right, Mr. Manley. Didn't you, Porter? My set plays two dozen records, different sizes, mix them up any way you like. Radio gets China clear as a bell. Also television. Except there's no television to get in. We're too far away. Only television set in town. Like playing tennis without a ball. What do you do about it? Builds your personal television station? You don't need a station. Just yell a little louder. Uh... Mrs. Manley, are you sure I can't get you a drink before dinner? A cocktail, perhaps, or a scotch? Never touch alcohol in any form. Mr. Manley? He doesn't either. Uh, no. Well, coming from show business, you might say. I always imagined those kind took a nit now and then. How about you, Porter? Yeah. You're known as his manly. Mr. Hollingsway here has a chain of seven department stores all over the state. I know all about it. Oh, yours is too big a light to be hit under a bushel, Mr. Hollingsway. George, would you need a small bromo cell, sir, please? You're a potential giant, sir. Not too small, George. I'm doing all right. I said a potential giant. Potential? Yes. So many girls. We are going to have a giant around the house. Got this whole state sort of tight. There are 47 other states, Porter. Yeah, good jack. With radio, I can bet you into millions of those homes for one half hour every week. He doesn't spend that much time in his all-home. Soup's on. Yes, thank you, Sadie. Well, if we're all ready, I think we can... Sadie, Dugan. Hi, alarmist. Hey, what's with that outfit you've got on? And get a lot of that cap. What are you supposed to be, baby, Snooks? I can't wait to tell Mark. There's a couple of things about you I can tell you, Mark. Well, this quaint situation belongs in a true-to-life drama. Are you two related? We just have the same governess. Well, it's just a small town, Mrs. Manley. Everybody gets to know everybody. If you don't mind crossing the tracks. Sadie is quite a radio fan, Mrs. Manley. Really? Keep it going night and day. And what are your favorite programs? Anything, so long as it keeps my mind off my feet. How are you going to put me in her house a half hour every week? But, Porter, Sadie is not a housewife. Still, they have a great influence over housewives. Your maid may not realize it, but whether or not she thinks she's listening, she's being penetrated. Well, it's a good thing she didn't hear you saying that. And after penetration comes saturation. And when she's saturated, she'll find herself saying, Madam, I suggest that you buy our new washing machine at Hollingsways. Not Sadie. And I've seen her when she was saturated to the eyes. You don't know what they're talking about. Just shut up and eat. Okay, giant. It's quite an evening. I've never seen you in better form, George. Never. I asked my opinion of their radio programs. I said I'd rather not discuss the subject. They wouldn't let me alone. It would have been so simple, something non-committal. Well, certainly she doesn't blame you for what I said. And they're not too bad about it. And you had to correct her on even that. Bad, Mrs. Manley. Not badly. Oh, George, I had told Mrs. Manley so much about you. One of the editors is leaving their agency. There's a job open, $175 a week. And I told her... You told Mrs. Manley I might be interested in working for her. Now, George, please, listen to me. Come here. Come here. Sit down for a minute. Look, Rita, let's put aside my personal likes and dislikes. They're not important. I'm willing to admit that to a majority of my fellow citizens, I'm a slightly comic figure, an educated man. Well, nobody's asking you not to be. Think of the good you could do. Maybe raise the standards. What's even worse than being an intellectual? I'm a school teacher. School teachers are not only comic, they're often cold and hungry in this richest land on earth. And thousands are quitting every year to take jobs that pay them a decent living. That is unhappily true. Then why not you? Because I can't think of myself doing anything else. What would happen, do you think, if we all quit? Who'd teach the kids? Who'd open their minds and hearts to the real glories of the human spirit, past and present? Who'd help them along to the future? Now, at that, I've been luckier than most. Even without what you were, I've managed to keep our heads above water. It's quite a strain over a period of time with the water lapping at your chin. That's where you've been a great help. I'll admit it has upset my melee go from time to time. And your overdeveloped sense of taste and discrimination, which is apparently equaled only by that of Addie Ross. Let's try to keep Addie off. I am fed up with taste and discrimination. I'm fed up with your contempt for me and everything I try to do. You're talking nonsense. Oh, everything I say is nonsense. It's all this work. You're over-tired. You do too much. And what do you suggest I stop doing? My moronic radio scripts, which pay most of your bills. Now calm down. And what do I go back to? Washing, scrubbing, ironing, and a life of taste and discrimination? I'm fed up with Addie Ross. What's it all about, really? If music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it. It's certainly sick. So die. From 12th night by Mr. Shakespeare, which Addie and I played in high school, I thought it was a very clever note. And there was more to it than a childhood memory. Yes, there was. But we won't go into that. Right now, we're going to get a few things straightened out once and for all. Sit down. Yes, Professor. Sit down. Look, Rita, seven years ago, I made the most perfect marriage ever devised by man, heaven, or radio. My wife was an independent, understanding woman. We thought the same thing about everything, from baseball to baton. In those seven years, I was never contemptuous of you. I was proud. But when that drooling pat began to change you, when your independence turned to fear, when I watched you snivel and grubble on those two walking commercials, I didn't like it. I don't like it. I want my wife back, Rita. I want my wife again. George and Addy. It must be George. I didn't go fishing. And his blue suit. Why the blue suit? Hey, Rita! Rita Debbie wants you. The kids want to play some games. Hmm? Oh, hmm. Incidentally, Laura May, did you know Pa, who was at the station this morning? Look, honey, why don't I just tell you what you want to know? I don't know whether to pull it right off with Addy or not. But get this. I don't care just as good as we are. No matter what you say. Really? Why? I've got everything I want. But everything. Have you seen Laura May? Oh, you've come a long way, all right. You didn't live on the other side of the tracks. You lived on the tracks. Remember when you used to work in Porter's store? Remember your first date with me? You had all worked out pretty carefully. Didn't you, Laura May? Oh, hiya, Sadie. Hey, Laura May. Had a day with the boss, huh? Well, if I was you, I'd show more of what I got. Where may be something with beads? What I got don't need beads. What's your new job going to be? Something secret like a spy? Something you can't talk about in the office? All right, sir. I'm going to disgrace the fair name of Fennie. Come on, throw me out in the street. To think that a daughter of mine... How many payments are you behind on that icebox? Not for all the iceboxes in the world. They can come and take it away. Though heaven knows it's one of the few joys I have in life. Ah, come on. There'll be layoffs and dealer cards. Wait till the train goes by and hang out of your teeth, it's an express. I'm going to take away your icebox and I know exactly what I'm doing. Just remember you're my daughter and a decent girl. It's him. Yes, sir. You got everything? Where's your push? Right there. Oh, he's out in front. Got a cab lock on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you waiting for? Relax. He just blew his horn again. It ain't Gabriel, so relax. Laura May, what are you waiting for? That's what I was waiting for. The doorbell. Anybody wants me can come in and get me the sign of drive-in. Well, I never. Oh, good evening, Mr. Hollingsway. Good evening. Oh, I see Miss Dugan. I just didn't know my last name was Dugan. But I don't believe you know my mother, Mrs. Finney. Mother, this is Mr. Hollingsway. Pleased to meet you, I'm sure. How do you do? Won't you sit down? Well, I've got a table reserved for half past seven. Yes, you are late, aren't you? I won't be a minute. Just get my bag. Put your bags right over. They'll call night out, ain't it? Not bad. Icebox, one of mine, right? Uh-huh. Giant size with a super-freeze box, right? Uh-huh. How long you had it? Oh, how long we've been on the market? Oh, a couple of years. That was one of the first. Uh-huh. Oh, wonder what's keeping her? Girls always got things to do. They tell me. Well, there it is, my purse. Oh, how silly of me. Ready? We're late. Good night, Mother dear. Don't wait up. Good night, Sadie Darling. Good night, Mother dear, and don't wait up. If a daughter of mine ever really talked like that, I could have turned out. Dear? If you ain't got any champagne. My, but this is a nice place, Mr. Hollingsway. I come here all the time. With other young ladies you want to talk to about new duties at the store? Let's not talk business. But I thought that's what this was for, Mr. Hollingsway. We'll get around to it. Uh-huh. What do you do with yourself after working hours? Say, uh, night? Well, I have my family and my friends, of course. Boyfriends? Isn't that getting a little personal? A girl like you, I'll bet there's plenty. Who's out in front? I don't happen to be one of those girls that talks about her private life, Mr. Hollingsway, and what I do in my... Oh, uh-huh. Don't get up. Hello, George. Are you here alone? Well, I'll read it. Daddy's with us. Daddy? That was the last minute I did. We found out. Daddy's with us. Daddy? That was the last minute I did. We figured you'd probably have another engagement. Whose idea? Daddy's... May I have a cigarette, please? Huh? Oh, here you are. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Mr.... Fitz, George Fitz. This is Ms. Finney. How do you do? Hello, Ms. Finney. Have you been here alone? No, no, we just got here. Hey, stop by the table on your way out. I love to. Oh, you have such nice friends. He's a school teacher. He hasn't got a dime. It's getting stuffy in here. Come on, let's drive somewhere. You're smoking. I thought you were out of cigarettes. Didn't you ask George for one back there? Did I? You're smart. Thanks. Plenty smart. Um, Ms. Lipkey is leaving the store next week. Yeah. And you need a new assistant supervisor. Like flies around honey. Huh? You. You and your boyfriends. I thought we'd settle that. I want to talk about it some more. What makes you so interested in my boyfriends? What do you think? I've got very definite ideas. Like what? Well, there's never been anybody in particular. Nobody special. Plenty wanted to, I bet. What do you think? You're waiting for that one guy to come along? I've got very definite ideas. What's he got to be like this one guy? Someone who wants to marry me more than anything else in the world. You sure got wrong ideas about things. They may be wrong, but they're definite. Well, tomorrow's another working day. Shall we go? Yeah, let's go. Look, I, I hope you don't mind my bringing it up again, but, but you do remember about Ms. Lipkey leaving and what she does. What about tomorrow night? If you'd like. I'd like. Half five seven. Laura May, you're quite a girl, Laura May. You were right, not enough to worry about you. But now what, Laura May? What was it you told Rita you just don't care? I wonder. For station identification, this is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. A letter to three Ys will continue in a moment. Here's Mr. Keely, our producer. The curtain rises on Act Three of Letter to Three Wives with Paul Douglas as Porter and Linda Darnell as Laura May. For Deborah, Rita and Laura May, they're live. The excursion road is still far from home. It'll be hours yet before one of them knows the awful truth that it's her husband who's run away with Addy Ross. On your next date, you left poor to kiss you, didn't you, Laura May? Just one kiss. But you knew it would be back tomorrow. You were ours. And on this date, it just happened to stop by his house. It's the most beautiful house I've ever seen. It's just about everything anybody wants. You name it, I got it. You were married once, weren't you? Is this her picture? My wife? I wouldn't even have her fingerprints in the house. Then who's this? Somebody I know. I bet I can guess. Addy Ross. That's right. So that's what she looks like. Well, you can't tell from that, really. It's only a picture. She's beautiful, all right. She sort of looks like a queen, doesn't she? Like a queen ought to look. I imagine you must be very good friends. Well, I helped her with some investments. She gave me this picture last Christmas. Almost a year ago. Yeah, I just never bothered to put it away, I guess. Porter. You know how I feel about you. Look, I'm only human, you know? I'm not so sure you are. No? No. Thanks. You're smart. So you told me. I'm smart, too. I've been around. I bet. It's an old act. You're good at it, but you can't fool me. I know all the answers. Then answer this one. Why pick on me? I've been watching your work, Miss Finney, and I think you're ready for advancement. Let's have dinner and talk it over. There's a brand new act for you. It's got a beard a mile long. I didn't ask you what you asked me, and why me? The woods are full of girls. Not like you. Not like me. And they don't want what I want. All right. What do you want? Not a $4 a week raise. I don't want a new car or fur coat or a trip to Hawaii. Don't put on any seven big horse, Mr. Hollingsway. Name it. I want to be in a silver frame on a piano. My own piano in my own house. You mean you want to get married? Does that make me a freak? I've been married once. Once is enough. I'm just not a type. Maybe you just haven't found the right girl. It's easy to get along with. I'm setting my ways. I want to do what I want when I want. If it was just the question of the right girl, wouldn't any man in the world want to marry you? Not if he thought he could marry Addy Ross. Maybe I don't know all the answers, but I know some of them. Well, it's late. I'd better be getting home. Okay. If I call you a cab. He's walking in the snow. Just tell him to charge it to my account. Sounds like you keep the cabs pretty busy with this sort of thing. I do a lot of business with them. Store business. Well, don't get mad. You just keep needling me. Look, I insist on paying for that cab myself, but I'm in no spot to be proud. From tomorrow on, I count the pennies. What's tomorrow? The day I start looking for a new job. I'm not going to fire you. I'm going to quit. What do you want to do that for? That's a silly question coming from a man who knows all the answers. But don't let it worry you, Porter. Maybe it's just a new twist in the same old act. I'll call the cab. Thanks. I'll pick one up at the corner. Maybe you're right, Porter. Maybe I'm a fool. But maybe you're the biggest fool in the world. Laura May. Before you knew it, it was New Year's Eve. Your first New Year's Eve at home in a long, long time. Ma was going to a bingo party, and your sister, Babe, naturally, had a date. Where's Sadie tonight, Ma? Isn't she picking you up? Sadie can't go to the bingo party. She's got a job saving up champagne for Mrs. Addy Ross and friends. Guess he'll be there, huh? Porter, hollering his way. Isn't it time you got dressed, Ma? Okay. Oh, it's me. Oh, hiya, Nick. Come on in. Is Babe ready yet? Unless she's beat her brains out with a pot of puff. Sit down. Hey, Babe. Hey, how come you ain't dressed up? No, but I am. I'm going to a fancy dress ball. Yes, what? A queen. A queen? A queen and a silver frame. Oh, get it. I'll go see what's keeping Babe. I'll see who it is, will you, Nick? Yeah? Who are you? Oh, I'm... Here's Miss Finney. She'll be out in a minute, Mr. Hollingsway. We met somewhere. I worked in your shipping room. You waiting for Miss Finney? Yes, sir. What's your name? Nick Butler. We were just good friends, kind of, me and Miss Finney. Yeah. Babe, I worked in your shipping room three years, Mr. Hollingsway. Oh, here they come, Babe. Mr. Hollingsway. Oh, Mr. Hollingsway. This is my sister, Babe. My real name is Georgiana. Oh, what do you say, Babe? Happy New Year, Mr. Hollingsway. I, uh, thought Babe was waiting for you. He used to. I gave him to Babe. He goes with a dress. I came to take you to a party. Addie lost his party? Yeah. She must need another waitress. I told her we had a date and not to expect me if you'd made other plans. Here, these are for you. Orchids, huh? Thanks. Put them on. I'm not going anywhere. You wouldn't want to let them die. I'll put them in the icebox. The orchids ain't paid for either. Lord of May, I can't take it anymore. I thought we decided to leave it alone. It's worth not seeing you, knowing you're here. Maybe I ought to leave town. Wondering about you, who you're with, who you're kissing. Take it easy. I can't sleep nights thinking about you. So what? What about the way I feel? My sleep. But then I'm not even human, am I? I'm just a great big- Lord of May, I can't take it anymore. Well, what's the use, Porter? Tell Addie Ross it's the cook's night out, and I had to stay home with the icebox. Okay, Lord of May, you win. I'll marry you. How about it? Thanks for nothing. Now, what kind of an answer is that? I don't know. I just felt like it, that's all. We'll do all right, kid. We're starting out where it takes most marriages years to get. Out in the open, no jokers. You'll see, you've made a good deal, Lord of May. Lord of May, if you want me, honey, I'll be over to the Callaghan clan. That ain't new year, ma. We're gonna be married. There you go. And so they were married. And that's how in time we all became such good friends. Lord of May, Deborah, Rita, and I. That brings us right up to death. The excursion boat has returned now. And the three wives have rushed home. There's a little discovery to be made. Which of their husbands have I run away with? One thing I can tell you, it's not George Phillips. Oh, darling, darling, George. Oh, hello. Oh, George, I've got to know something. I'll just die if I don't know. Tell me this minute, George, and tell me the truth. About what? Why didn't you go fishing today? Mrs. Manley, phone. I'm here to call her. Some revision she wants you to. And you never dress up when there's no school. Why your blue suit? Well, now there's a little story connected with... Why aren't you gonna phone her? Revisions, huh? Yeah. Mrs. Manley will get the revisions on Monday. If that doesn't suit her, she can find herself another writer. Rita. I mean it, George. Peace, it's wonderful. Answer my question, the blue suit. Well, it's just that the high school dramatic club decided to do 12th night and they asked me to direct it. First rehearsal day and a booze would be more appropriate than my fishing booze. And... And adding you about it. What you can'ts for the note, she said. If music be the fool of love, play on. And on. And on. Oh, George. Oh, George. That clears up George, doesn't it? But what's Deborah found out? You know, Brad said he phoned. Oh, yes, madam. Mr. Bishop phoned a little after four. He said he's very sorry, but he won't be home tonight. Won't be home. Won't be home. Brad won't be home. And now, nor am I. Mars there with up Mars, living with the moon. It bucks I lost today. Sadie's right, that racetrack's crooked. It isn't a track, Mars. They're horses. They fix things up among themselves. Say, how come Porter's so late tonight? It's 7.30. You know, Mars... Porter may not be coming home at all. You mean tonight? Any night. I think he's gone away for good. With somebody else? Ah, I don't believe it. I do. Porter would never leave you for good. And not for another woman. Why not? Because he's in love with you. He's one. Don't hide me playing crazy in love with you. Are you out of your mind, Mars? Why, he thought I heard soft voices in here. Hello, Porter. What's the fight about this time? First, jewelry or cash? My children and me never fight. Fix me a drink, Woody. I'm tired. And the reason we never fight being my children know that I know what I'm talking about. You'll see, we'll clear for a mate. But I learned a lot about men from him. May he rest in peace. Addy Ross left town today, Porter. And she took somebody's husband with her. Yeah? Well, you seem real excited about it like I told you we were having lamb for dinner. What do you want me to do? Sue somebody? I'm tired. I just figured that maybe you were the lucky boy. Then I must have broke your heart when I walked in here. Funny you should mention my heart. So you figured I ran away with Addy. How did it feel? You don't have to tell me. I can tell you. You ought to go on information, please. So what? I got mine. That's what you thought to yourself. You ought to get a concession at some carnival. You're a regular mind reader. Three years of playing the good wife. Here's where I cash in. Here comes the payoff. That's what you thought. I've been a good wife. The best your money could buy. Strictly cash and carry. Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that what you told me? Out in the open? You made a good deal, kid? Did you ever stop to think, Porter, that in over three years this one word we've never said to each other, not even in fun? Do you want a cash register? You can't love a cash register. And I'm part of your inventory. You can't love that either. I asked you to marry me because I was crazy about you. You didn't even ask me. Did you give me a chance to? All you ever showed me was your price tag. You'd better get dressed if we're going to the country club. We're meeting the others there at half past eight. I'll be ready when you are. This is a lot like my very first dance here. You and I alone at the table. Yeah, but where's Brad? You don't know? Know what? Let's just say he's been detained, Porter. He didn't come home. You sure you don't want to drink? I'm sure. See that guy dancing with Laura May? A bookie. All the barbershops and saloons in town dancing with my wife. But he came over. He asked very politely. He'd dance with anybody. Well, she waited this evening. A check of a pan-seater. Then you have no right to complain. Well, I got no complaints. I'm happy Joe from Kokomo, greatest little wife in the world. Fine home, fine friends. Everybody loves me. Oh, why don't you stop acting like a spoiled baby? What are you sore about? You. You're so stupid. Oh, wait a minute, Debbie. Have you any idea how much Laura May's in love with you? No. How much? So much she's afraid to tell you. Afraid you'd laugh at her. Me? Ref? She couldn't say it with a straight face, Laura May in love with me. But it's all she can do to wait it out. Wait it out? Yeah, like an annuity till it matures like a slot machine that pays off. That's what she's waiting for. A chance to call it off, to collect the end of the lion fares, please. Don't tell me about love in Laura May. Such a fine, relaxed atmosphere. Better take a look under the table, George, see if there's a body hidden. Rita, what was it you called Addy down at the pier? A dear departed? Well, maybe that's who's under the table. Oh, it's Brad. I don't understand this conversation at all. How drunk am I? Thank you very much for the dance, Mrs. Hollingsway. Let's do it again sometimes. And thank you, Mr. Hollingsway. Yeah. Well, he seems pleasant enough. Who is he, Laura May? He's the business associate of my mother's. He's a bookie. A mother bets with him. Well, everyone, excuse me, please. I think I'd like to leave. I'll drive you there. I'd rather go by myself, if you don't mind. What's going on here? Shut up. Will somebody tell me what this is all about? Later, I'll tell you later. Don't you really know Porter? No. Come on, Debbie, let's tell him. No, I want to tell Porter what he doesn't know. I want to say it out loud. Don't be silly. I've tried hard to make believe the way you do, Porter. You're as much of a man as you are. My husband has run away with Addy Ross. Good night off. Sit down, Debbie. Porter, please. Sit down for a minute. Let her go, Porter. You keep out of it. Everybody else, too. Brad didn't run away with Addy Ross. I did. But no, you're here. A man can change his mind, can't he? Porter, you're quite a guy. Yeah. Porter. Now let her alone. Let her go if she wants to. She'd have known in the morning anyway that Brad wasn't the one. She'd have had a tough night. She's just a kid. Well, I, uh, uh, dance with me, George. Just a minute, Rita. OK, Laura May, you've got it. They all heard me say I ran away with another woman. You can take me for everything you ever want. Like always, Porter. When you start knocking on that brandy bottle, you'll come up with anything. I guess I'd stop listening because, because if you said anything, I just didn't hear it. Well, why don't everybody dance? You heard her, George. Laura May. Big girl. But why are you crying? Let's dance. Uh-huh. Good night, everybody. Here's Mr. Keely with our stars. The curtain falls on three endings for Three Wives. And here are tonight's stars coming downstage to add a post-crit. Linda Donnell and Paul Douglas. I want to congratulate you and the studio that has been knocked in for an Academy Award. Well, everyone at 20th Century Parks was very proud, Bill, when letter to Three Wives and Daryl Afzanik's 12 O'Clock High were both among the five pictures nominated. And if there are any awards around for an outstanding comedy team, you and Paul should have them for tonight's performance. Well, thank you, Bill, but I'll take my luck flakes if it's all right with you. Yes, sir, those flakes got class, and that's what I like, class. I'll see that you get some, too, Paul. How are you getting along with art, Linda? Well, I've been working in oil. Everybody's got a well but me. And I've been doing a little sculpting, too. Paul, incidentally, sometime I'd like to do a head for you. Look, the one I'm wearing isn't much, but I've had it long attached to it, you know? Paul, I understand you've just completed a new picture on location. Where'd you make it? In New Orleans, Bill, and speaking of pictures, what do you have here next week? A very special attraction. With two stars we've had many requests for. First, one of our all-time favorites, Van Johnson. And co-starring the beautiful, glamorous Esther Williams. With them, we'll also have Virginia Gray. And I know you'll love them all in the gay, metro-golden-mare comedy hit, Easy to Win. Well, that is something special, Bill. Good night, good night all. Good night, and hold on. Here's a beauty tip from a famous screen star, Myrna Loy. She says, for all over luck's loveliness, the new bath-size luck's toilet soap is wonderful. You'll agree with Myrna Loy when you try this generous, satin-smooth bath-size cake. You'll enjoy the rich, creamy lather. You'll love the delicate, flower-like fragrance. A luck-soaked beauty bath leaves on the skin. That luck-soaked perfume is an exclusive blend of flowers, bows, jabs, lilac, to name just a few. A luck-soaked beauty bath leaves skin so fresh. Leaves it softer, smoother too. Next time you shop, get this big, longer-lasting bath-size cake. Remember, nine out of ten screen stars use luck's toilet soap. Leave your brother's company the makers of luck's flakes. Join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday evening when the luck's radio theatre presents Van Johnson and Esther Williams in Easy to Wear with Virginia Gregg. This is William Keely saying good night to you from Hollywood. Paul Douglas and Linda Darnell appeared through the courtesy of 20th Century Fox, producers of Mother Didn't Tell Me, starring Dorothy McGuire and William Lundigan. Our play was adapted by S.H. Barnett, and our music was directed by Laura Silvers. This is your announcer, John Milton Kennedy, reminding you to join us again next Monday night to hear Easy to Wear starring Van Johnson and Esther Williams with Virginia Gregg. Stay tuned for my friend Irma, which follows over these same stations. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.