 Ecclesiastes 7, beginning at verse 21, reading to verse 22. Also, do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others. Oh, yeah. Here we go, right? Do not be curious about what is being said about you. And don't let the things that you hear that are negative don't allow them to hurt you. That's what he's saying in verse 21. Do not take to heart everything people say. We have a tendency, don't we, of if somebody says something negative to us, it takes 10 positive comments later on to help us to get over that one negative. So Solomon is making it very clear that we shouldn't take to heart. We shouldn't be so curious and act upon things that have been said concerning us. It's better, he's saying, to let such things pass and not to meditate upon what you've heard. And so when you read this, there are things he wants us to know, some practical things, a couple things that I'll point out. One is Solomon would want us to know that we should restrict our tongues from speaking evil of others. And sometimes they say, but it's true. Well, it may or may not be true, but when you speak evil of somebody else, it's a destructive thing to do. So we ought to be very careful about what we say in Leviticus 19 verse 16. It says, do not go about spreading slander among your people. In Proverbs 20 verse 19, a gossip betrays a confidence. So avoid a man who talks too much. The fact is, gossip separates people. It destroys relationships and he's saying avoid it. And don't do it. You know, in ministry, I'll be honest with you, excuse me, I've had to learn this myself. Because it's been said that the number one meal that's had after Sunday services in churches is roast. It's roast pastor. You know, people may not agree with what they've heard or how things are being done, etc. And so the number one thing they do is they roast the pastor. And so in the ministry, if you're overly sensitive, if you take to heart everything that's said, then it ultimately can undermine your walk. And in just life in general, it's not that we should ignore true things. It's that we shouldn't be so prone to want to hear these things. There's some people that will have an account, you know, a social media account, and then they'll post something, then they want to read every comment. And sometimes it's kind of dumb to do that. Because the people, you know, who are hiding behind their screens and tapping furiously away on their keyboards are extremely brave. They say things online that they would never say to your face. And so sometimes people will feel the freedom to say mean or just untrue things about you. And so if you're picking up and reading all the social things and all of that, it's very destructive. Be very careful with that. You know, I have a habit of not reading them. You know, and it's just because there's so many negative things out there that's floating out there. Why would I want, if I want to hear negative things, I'll ask my wife to talk to me for a while and she'll let me know. So be very careful. Be very careful that you don't receive everything that's being said about you, either good or bad. So when gossip is spread about you, don't take it to heart. Again, some people like to know what's being said about them, but too often it isn't something that we needed to hear. I don't know how old some of you are in this room, so it's not that old, but you never know. There used to be a commercial a few years ago called Sonic Ear. Have you ever heard of that? Sonic Ear is a hearing kind of device that you can overhear what people are saying. Who wants that? I mean, one of the commercials, there's these two women who are sitting at the beach and a young woman comes walking by in her bikini or whatever and one of them is saying something like to the other, something like, gosh, what a beautiful body she has. I wish I had a body like that. Yeah, that's what she's saying. You know she's not saying, look at that. You know, so who would want to hear that? Who wants to hear the things that people have to say? And so I think we have to be very, very careful about that. Because again, some people waste their entire lives trying to be liked by other people. And it's a waste of your time. None of us can please everybody all of the time. And the Bible teaches us that words can heal or words can hurt. And when you are gossiped about, it is painful. And so I believe that this is something that we need to be aware of. You see in the Old Testament, murmuring and grumbling, we see murmuring and grumbling from the children of Israel. In Numbers 16 verse 3, it says that they gathered together against Moses and Aaron and said to them, you take too much upon yourselves for all the congregation is holy, every one of them. And the Lord is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves about the assembly of the Lord? And so they were speaking poorly of the leadership of Israel. And in Numbers 16, 15, Moses, it says, was very angry and he said to the Lord, do not respect their offering. I haven't taken one donkey from them, nor have I hurt one of them. So he overheard it was brought to him, whatever. And he's saying, this is the way I respond when people are speaking about me. We need to remember that Jesus himself was often spoken poorly of. I remember some of these things. People said he was untrained because he never formally studied. People accused him of being demon possessed. Some said that he was born of fornication. He was accused of self-promotion. John 8.53, are you greater than our father Abraham who's dead? And the prophets are dead. Whom do you make yourself out to be? So when you stand for righteousness, there will always be those who oppose you. And the world will do so as a matter of course, but sadly immature Christians do also. And the way people often work against you is through the things that they say about you. So remember words can be used as weapons and they can bring tremendous pain to other people. Proverbs 12.18 says, there is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health. And so if you choose to say something, say it with grace, say it honestly, say it with love. And say it with a hope to encourage people to grow in their walks with the Lord. Again, if you worry about what people are saying about you, you'll never do anything. Because in the end, the only thing that matters is what God says about you. So with that in mind, live in such a way that he'll say to you, well done. Live in such a way that he'll call you my good and my faithful servant. He says in verse 21, he says, lest you hear your servant cursing you. This is interesting how he put that together because when he says in verse 21, the first portion, do not take to heart everything people say, he emphasizes it by saying lest you hear your servant cursing you. Then that's an interesting way to put it. Why? Because it hurts when someone who depends on you for their livelihood gossips about you. But if he speaks against you, it may provoke you to punish him. So the point is, don't expect to be praised constantly even by those who depend on you. And that's the truth. Of course, it's in the Bible. And verse 22, he said, for many times also your own heart is known that even you have cursed others. So we've done it, which should make us less sensitive when they speak of us. Verse 23, all this I have proved by wisdom. I said, I will be wise, but it was far for me. As for that, which is far off and exceedingly deep, who can find it out? And so everything he's saying, everything he's saying is from experience. He's saying, I have examined this and found this to be true. I said, verse 23, I will be wise. It was far from me at one time. I sought to be wise from every means at my disposal. But I found that wisdom is far beyond human effort. True wisdom is out of my reach. I can't reach it through fleshly efforts. No matter how educated you may become, that doesn't mean you're becoming wise. Because there's a difference between wisdom and education. There's a difference between wisdom and knowledge. And sometimes we don't understand that. So we think that because people are educated, they must also be wise. Because they have a position somewhere, even as an instructor, they must be wise. That's not true. Oftentimes the people who are doing the instruction have no wisdom, but have a lot of book knowledge. And I've met people who are very wise who don't have education. Because life and life and their walk with God and the other things has helped them to see things more plainly and more clearly. And I'm telling you, you know, in my experience in going to school and all of that, I discovered that the professors, some of the professors that I sat under who were supposed to be instructing us, and indeed they knew their subject, but they weren't wise in the way that they lived. I was actually going to school at Cal Poly. I was taking a course on the human family, marriage and the family from a secular source at Cal Poly. And the professor was doing lectures on the subject of marriage and things like that and all. And we were all given an assignment. The assignment was to write on something that pertains to marriage. And so I chose to write on the role of the husband in marriage. I went to the library there at Cal Poly. Now this again was a long time ago, but I went to the library there looking for any books that they might have that were written on a man's role in marriage. This I found very interesting because they didn't have any. And I kept looking. I finally found one. A man's role in marriage, written by a woman. So it was very interesting. And that's a true story. That's true. It was written by a woman to tell me how I'm supposed to be. I found that very interesting. And so when I did, and again I'm talking about Cal Poly Pomona, I just wrote from a biblical perspective, the role of the husband, the Christian husband. And so I wrote some things out of Ephesians chapter 5 and gave a small Bible study as a paper for the professor. And at the end he gave us our papers back and he wrote on top of the heading of my paper. He said, I have never heard this before. Which is true. And so you can be intimidated by somebody's doctorate or masters, or multiple masters and doctorates. You can be intimidated by that. But just because somebody has education doesn't mean that they have wisdom. Wisdom is the proper application of information. And you gain wisdom through experience, but you also gain wisdom by the power of the Holy Spirit. And wisdom is found in the Word of God. And so the power of the Holy Spirit strengthens you to live When you study the Word of God and put into practice the things the Bible says, you gain a wisdom. Real wisdom is beyond your reach. So you have to get it by receiving it from God. God gives you wisdom. He does so through the Word of God. He does so through you seeking him. He does so through teaching of the Word of God that you receive and all of those things are applicable. And so he's saying, I wanted to have wisdom, but I found that it was too far out of my reach. And so God is the one who bestows wisdom upon us. He says in verse 24, he goes as for that, which was far off exceedingly deep, who can find it out? So wisdom's death is more than he could naturally fathom. Wisdom, he's saying, runs deeper than anything you can completely search out in a lifetime. In the book of Job in chapter 28 verses 20 and 21, it reads, from where then does wisdom come? And where is the place of understanding? It is hidden from the eyes of all living and concealed from the birds of the air. And so wisdom is something that is hidden that God reveals to us. And Solomon realized that God's wisdom was beyond his reach. The wisdom that God possesses is past finding out through human effort. And that's why James 1.5 says to us, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally without reproach, it will be given to him. And so there is wisdom that you seek in trials. You know, you say, God, give me the wisdom to know how to deal with this. I seek God's wisdom constantly, I'll be honest with you. As a man, as a married man, a father and grandfather and pastor, a friend, whatever, I am constantly asking the Lord, just give me wisdom, Father. Give me wisdom. Because I want to have the proper ability to apply the things that you've taught me. He says in verse 25, I applied my heart to know, to search and seek out wisdom. The reason of things, to know the wickedness of folly, even a foolishness and madness. I applied my heart to know, to search and to seek out wisdom. Wisdom is deep, but I'm seeking it. And I've been seeking it throughout my lifetime. To have wisdom, he is saying is my greatest desire. Now Solomon wrote, not only the book of Ecclesiastes, song of Solomon, but he also wrote Proverbs. And in Proverbs chapter two, let me show you something, Proverbs two verses one through six. This is what he wrote. He said, my son, if you receive my words and treasure my commands within you, so that you incline your ear to wisdom, apply your heart to understanding. Yes, if you cry out for discernment, lift up your voice for understanding. If you seek her as silver, search for her as for hidden treasure. Then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding. Notice the words receive, treasure, incline, apply, cry out, lift up, seek her, search for her, then. So it's a lifelong pursuit. It's something that you seek. And it's something that requires, by the way, effort. But as you're seeking out the Lord, God has a way of opening up these things that we refer to as wisdom. He opens our eyes to those things and that's why we seek it. In Proverbs four, seven, wisdom is the principal thing. Therefore, get wisdom. Listen, in all you're getting, get understanding. You know, if you're in a situation and you may have a thousand dollars in your pocket, but you don't know what to do in that situation, what good is that money going to do you? The money's not going to do you anything unless you take it out to try and bribe somebody. But it's not going to do you any good. Why? Because that's not what you need at that moment. There are a lot of times you're going to discover, I have, you're going to discover that there are things you're going through that money or friendships or anything else would not get you out of. What you need is wisdom. And that's why you make wisdom your lifelong pursuit. If you're young, pursue God and pursue his word and pursue his spirit. If you're old, continue to do so. Seek him every day. Seek him daily. Trust in him. Pursue him and ask him to fill you with wisdom. Spend time in his word, pray, meditate and then act on those things that he teaches you. You see, he's searching for wisdom. He's looking for reason. The reason speaks of the meaning of life. And in this search, we're going to see it when we get to chapter 12. The final answer is going to be knowing God and fearing God. All of these chapters are going to lead us to chapter 12 verse 13 where he says, Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter. Fear God. Keep his commandments for this is man's all. At the end of your days, guys, you don't want to be putting your head on your pillow just before you die. If you should have the ability to do that and you're not going to be wanting to regret anything. You're not going to want to die with regret. And that's why I believe very strongly in making an everyday count as if it's your last day in some ways. Every day. Every day. Because you never know when your last day is. You never know. You know, we wake up and we say we're going to end this day and who knows it may be the end of your life that day. And I don't say that to be morbid. I just say it's because it's true. Because a lot of people died today and a lot of people will die tomorrow. And I came to the point in my life that I realized the longer I live, the better the chances is it's going to be me who dies next. It's just a fact. And if you live as if this is the day the Lord has made and you will rejoice and be glad in it and you will seek him out. Then at the end of the day, should you survive as we all have obviously, then you're going to feel good about the day because I saw the Lord. And I've been doing that for a long time. I encourage you to do the same. To pursue, to investigate, to follow, search out wisdom. To be serious about the things that matter. To have a deeper knowledge of what life consists of, of its purpose. To understand, he says, even wickedness, folly and madness. When he's saying that, he's saying, why does sin drive man to such terrible lengths? That's the worst kind of thinking. He says, I also wanted to know God's purposes. I want to understand man's response to him. And I've made this the most important reason for my entire existence. And so as he's pursuing, he comes to this conclusion verse 2026. I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be trapped by her. You women know he's talking about you. Okay, let's look at that, shall we? Verse 2060 says, notice I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets. Now that's an experiential knowledge. That's a knowledge he gained by life. Remember in 1 Kings chapter 11, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. So if there's anybody who knows something about women, I would say he has a good understanding. I would assume that. Now these wives he had in concubines came from the nations that God had forbidden intermarriage with. They were political marriages, majority of them, if not almost every single one. The king would marry for a political kind of thing, but not necessarily have relations with them at all. But they came from the nations God had forbidden intermarriage with. In Deuteronomy chapter 17 verse 17 it says, the king shall not multiply wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he greatly multiply silver and gold for himself. So God had said that they will turn your heart from him, and in the life of Solomon they did. After searching things out, he's telling us what he has found. He has found that an ungodly woman can be dangerous. Now he writes about that often again in Proverbs chapter 2 verses 18 and 19. He said, for the immoral woman's house leads down to death, her paths to the dead. None who go to her return, nor do they regain the paths of life. Proverbs 5, 3 and 6, the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, her mouth is smoother than oil. In the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell. Proverbs 7, 21 through 23, with her enticing speech she caused him to yield. With her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stalks till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, he did not know it would cost his life. Now there's a new cologne that they have now at Macy's. It's called Ox to the Slaughter. It smells very good. So how can a person be safeguarded against sexual temptation? The one who pleases God is safe, he says, but the sinner shall be taken by her. He said in verse 26, he who pleases God shall escape from her. So how do I escape from temptation like this? It is by a spirit-empowered desire to please Jesus. Remember how Jesus said the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak? There's an ongoing battle between our carnal desire and the leading of the Holy Spirit. In Romans 7, 15, Paul said it like this. He said, what I'm doing, I don't understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice. But what I hate to do, that I do. And so how do I escape? Well, I have God's word and I have God's spirit. When we're tempted by our flesh, our flesh is really being tempted by the enemy. We should do two things. One, and this is practical. One, when I have this inclination in a sense. One, is it scripturally allowed? Is this something God would allow for me? Now I know I'm stepping on toes somewhere. Maybe not in this room, but somebody will hear this or maybe they're watching now. And so let me step on your toes graciously. You know, there seems to be a laxness in the body of Christ today concerning the sanctity, the holiness of marriage and relationships. There really is. Sadly, the spirit of the age is infiltrated to a degree that many people don't even realize or think about or have a concern over the fact that they are in sin or doing sinful things. In our fellowship I try the best that I can to be as plain scripturally, to speak as honestly as I can and not to mince words so that we all have an understanding of what scripture says. I try to do that. And to some degree I think that I've been successful. I don't know. But I can't tell you how many times over the years I've had people approach me who are in improper relationships and are asking for my blessing. I can't tell you. If you do not have the freedom to marry someone, you don't have the freedom to date them. And sometimes somebody will walk up and say that I'm engaged to this woman here but her divorce isn't final. So if you are not free to marry her then, what makes a person think that they have the freedom to be going out with her? But that's how a lot of people think. The word that has become common in our society is the word fiancé. And the word used to be speaking of someone that you would be true to, engaged to that you were about to marry or in the near future you're going to marry. She's my fiancé. Today that word fiancé when it's used to me is very often a word that simply means we're living together. Because the people think that if we have made a promise to one another that we will get married that it's the same as being married. It's not. The Bible uses a word that is not fiancé. It's called fornication. And that's a sin. And the scripture says in the book of Revelation, last book of the Bible, last chapter it says that fornicators are outside of the kingdom. You don't enter in. It's one of the sins. It's one of the sins that people practice and think they can get away with because they say, well, God is a God of grace. No, God is also just and righteous. And when he gives his word, there's a purpose to it. So what we try to do is skirt around it by using the word grace when in fact God didn't give his grace to me. Jesus didn't die in a cross so that I could fornicate. He didn't die to set me free to fornicate. He set me free so I wouldn't fornicate, you see. And that means that we can follow his word. And I know that's old-fashioned. I mean, it's tribute to me now. I mean, when I first started teaching the Bible, it was 50 years ago. If I say that, everybody in the room would say that's right. I still remember teaching a Bible study at my aunt's house. Marie and I were there. This was good 40 some years ago now at my aunt Barbara's house. And I'm teaching a Bible. And there's only like five or six people. My aunt, two of her daughters, Marie and one other person. And it was just a small group. And I was teaching and I started speaking of fornication and like I am right now. I forgot that my cousin, who's in the Bible study, was living in sin. Oh, my aunt at the end of the Bible study, because they were new Christians at the end of the Bible study. I didn't know this. I told later, told my cousin, you're moving out of his house and you're moving home, you're in sin. See, they didn't know that. They were new believers. But the minute my aunt heard what the word of God says, as we went through scripture, she acted on it. And my cousin moved out of her boyfriend's house, got right with God in the best of ways she could and eventually married the guy she was living with. See, so the truth will set you free and God will honor you for doing that. And yet today, so many times, our flesh is battling the spirit and the spirit is working against our flesh to try and teach us. And so one, we need to be aware of the fact that is this something scripturally allowed? And then two, we should pray. So you consult the word of God and you seek the Lord. 1 Thessalonians 5.17, pray without ceasing. And so in this case, we have clear guidelines concerning relationships. And 2 Corinthians 6.14, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. What fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? What communion has light with darkness? Unequally yoked. A young woman comes into my office and says to me, Pastor, will you pray for me? There's a young man that I want to have a relationship with. I want to start going out with. And I said, well, let me ask you a question. One, I'm not, you know, some guy who hooks people up. You know, oh yeah, Jesus, hook them up. I don't do that. You know, I'm not a dating guru. I'm not that. So I said, well, what do you know about this guy? And she says, well, very little. And I said, is he a believer? And she says, no, I said, then why would I pray for you to have a relationship with a guy who doesn't know God? Why would I do that? She says, because I've been reading the Bible and Jesus said, ask what you desire. It will be given to you. And that's true story. I'm not making that up. That's a true story. And she said, and so I said, yeah, and the Bible also says, do not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever. You know, the scriptures are very clear. So you look for the scripture. What does it say? And you act upon those scriptures. You're not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. And that's what he's speaking about, concerning an immoral woman. You see, part of God's design for marriage was to produce God fearing children. 1 Corinthians 618 says, fully sexual immorality. We all know the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife, how that she had grabbed him, Joseph being in the Old Testament of the tribes of Israel as a young man, had been sold into slavery, was living as a slave in the home of a man named Potiphar. And Potiphar's wife had made advances. We all know the story. She reached for him and said, Joseph, this is what the scripture says. This is as plain as she was. She said, Joseph, come lay with me. And she reached for him and grabbed hold of his garment. And he ran out of the place there. She was still holding his garment. He was the first streaker in the Bible. And he went running out. And she ended up taking that garment, showing it to the husband, and he ended up being imprisoned for something he didn't do for many years. And so the scripture says, flee fornication. And Joseph is a great example. He's a great example of somebody would not allow himself to be taken and used in such a way to stop walking with God. God-fearing parents are intended to raise God-fearing children. And that's intended to produce God-fearing nations, nations that understand and even live in righteousness. Malachi in the Old Testament, chapter 2, verse 15 says that God seeks godly offspring. So marrying unbelievers will undermine the chance of raising a godly child. Somebody said, if you willfully disobey God and marry a non-Christian, do not deceive yourself with the belief that you will be the cause of your husband or wife's conversion. By the grace of God, that may possibly happen. But it usually does not. Mixed marriages usually end in great unhappiness or divorce. And even if that is not the case, you will certainly bring much unnecessary sorrow upon yourself by disobedience. And that's absolutely true. How can you pray together? How can you worship together? How can you raise up your children to have the fear of the Lord if one of you doesn't care about any of that? So in the end, when we fail to avoid sexual immorality, so many people will get hurt. You end up with unfulfilled dreams and nothing but I wish I wouldn't have. And I've seen many fail in this area and many in destruction is devastating. So he says, verse 27, here's what I have found, says the preacher, adding one thing to the other to find out the reason which my soul still seeks, but I cannot find. One man among a thousand I have found. But a woman among all these I have not found. Truly, this only I have found upright, but they have sought out many schemes. Hmm. My soul still seeks and I cannot find. This is my conclusion. I've added these things up one by one. Finding a man who is what he should be truthful and righteous, he's saying, is rare. Finding a truly faithful and righteous man, he says, is very rare. Proverbs 20 verse 6, most men will proclaim each his own goodness, but who can find a faithful man? So to find, he says, a good man is a rare thing. But finding a faithful woman, he says, is even more difficult. It's interesting how he speaks about one in a thousand. One man among a thousand I have found but a woman among all these I have not found. It's interesting how he used the number one thousand number of wives in concubines that he had. So it seemed that he came to see the evil of his own sin by living with pagan wives. So he's saying this, the whole human race is really bound by sin. In verse 29, truly, this only I have found that God made man upright, but they have sought out many schemes. Though God created man, Adam and Eve, human beings, originally without sin, they sin. They sought out evil. And the Bible says in Romans 3 23, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. So there's none righteous, no, not one. All have sinned. And that, again, is why we need the Savior, Jesus Christ. Remember Isaiah 53.6, all we like sheep have gone astray. We have turned everyone to his own way and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. So there are no really righteous men. There are men who attempt to do the best. But in Christ we can be made righteous because the righteousness of Christ is given to us, it's imputed to us. The righteousness of God is given to us. The righteousness we didn't have until it was given to us. That comes through faith in Christ. So when you got saved, God imputed, he gave to you something you didn't have. He gave to you his own righteousness. But in our own, we're nothing but sinners in need of a Savior. And that's what he's seen. And that's what he saw. He's saying we need God. I've come to the conclusion I don't have wisdom. I don't see goodness in the human race at the end of the day. We need God. And I guess we'd all agree with that, don't we? We need God.