 Shoe Star Goddess, I'm back. It is very close to Christmas time. I just thought I'd pop in and come to you guys and say Hey, what's up? I have a little video for you This is not my good camera yet. I'm using a makeshift camera But I have to come to you guys today to tell you That sometimes It's time to let go Okay, you might have been working on a relationship for years and years and it hasn't gotten you anywhere. It's you know Has not benefited you in any way it has not benefited you or your kids or your life or your feelings or Your spirit hasn't done anything for you, but bring you pain Okay, just because you've been with someone for years and put a lot of effort into something does not mean that's where you're supposed to stay it means Either a you don't understand that this is not working or be You are clinically insane because when you repeat something over and over and get the same results And it's you know, and you don't change that's the definition of insanity So if you've been with someone for a long time And they keep doing the same thing over and over and you expect something different But never get anything different, but you stay, you know, that's up to you But you cannot change people they have to change themselves first of all You cannot change people and people will not change for you unless they love you enough To improve themselves if you don't make a man or a woman want to improve They don't love you. Okay, if you don't make a man want to do better. He doesn't love you enough You're settling he is settling. Okay If your man does not look at you or your you and your kids and say hey, I have to do better and goes and do better He's settled for you. Okay He doesn't truly love you enough to change the way that he Does for you or lack of You know lacks of you, you know a lot of men have their hand out Men will not change. They settled for you. You have taken Everything that they have shown you and kept it and said, okay, this is my man and you've made excuses for them And now that's what you have you have a man that doesn't do anything for you and who won't change for you because they never Ever intended on changing for you in the first place because they settled for you. Okay Ah Same with women man. If you have a woman and she Basically settled for you. She's not going to do all those things that Your dream woman is supposed to do or gonna do because she settled for you and she felt like she could have done better So she doesn't have to do as much for you You know, you know what I'm saying? So if you're ex if you're expecting, you know major changes out of someone Either a you have to change yourself first So that you are the person that they truly want or become the person that they truly thought you could be Live up to your potential or past your potential. Otherwise, why should they change if you're not, you know saying so Women you have a man that's not gonna change Try to do something like if you want your man to change You have to change first because once you change they either feel like they have to change in order to keep up with you Or they go and find something more on their level. Okay, so ladies if you're changing if you're getting better If you're making more money if you're looking better taking better care of yourself and they are not You have to understand, you know Sometimes you gotta let people go out of your life because they can't grow with you and when someone can't grow with you It's frustrating and you get stuck. You're not going to grow as fast or as Abundant as you could either alone Or with someone better. Okay, same for guys if you're with the woman who's not doing anything for you She's not living up to the expectations that you thought she should live up to She's not improving you making you want to go out there and do better and do bigger things if she's discouraging And she's not trying to you know, tell you Encouraging words to keep you focused on what you need to be doing out there but if she's always putting you down or You know yelling at you because this this and that she's always nagging you if she always has an opinion about something That she has not contributed to then that might not be the one for you, you know If they cheat on you, you know, don't take it personal, it's not anything personal Basically, they just found someone else more on their level. Okay? It could be lower or higher or the same level But basically people grow apart and you just have to accept that, you know holidays Are coming up new years is coming up. It's the end of the year people have grown people have changed It's time to either move on move forward Or get it right, you know what I'm saying? If you can't get it right move on You know, there's no sense in staying in something that no one can grow in and everyone's frustrated And you're at a standstill in life This is where a lot of people start having issues when their relationship Starts having issues every other area in their life starts going down work because you can't think about anything else Oh my my relationship sucks and I can't concentrate on my work of all of a, you know, then you're you know, you're stressed out You worry about other things, you know, a lot of things start going downhill when you're not happy so it's best to end things start over and You know Find someone you could grow with or who wants to become Or who already is I always say don't fall in love with potential, you know falling love with something That's tangible that already is a lot of men will get mad at me and say well Why don't you want to build and I'm not a man? I'm not supposed to build That's your job. I'm supposed to nurture and make the home. You're supposed to build. Okay, if I was a man I will be building. I'm not a man. Okay. If I was I wouldn't need you Okay, except to make a child Think about it. You know, you can't Be in a woman's life if they don't really need you Otherwise, you're just a child or another burden to them. Okay, it's vice versa for men Men need to feel needed men need to feel useful men need to feel like women honor them and Look up to them and praise them and think of them as you know, they're their hero or whatever Okay, no one wants a roommate or a son. Okay, women don't like that Otherwise your woman is going to be telling you what to do nagging you all the time Just like a child if you guys are on the same, you know, we're the same. We're equal. We're building together. Well Partners and you know an architectural firm You know, they're building together. They both get the same pay One doesn't have to watch children or pick up children. They both have to do the same exact things if your wife Is your partner and she's doing all the the homework children, you know Grocery cooking and stuff like that and you're just going to work. That's uneven. Okay And no woman is gonna look up to any man who also wants her to work on top of that Okay, so you're not building together. You're building or you should already have something built then bring your wife into the situation Okay, or you're your woman or whatever. Okay, if you don't have anything built the woman has nothing to Improve, you know what I'm saying and if she already has a house or something built the only thing she needs you for is emotional Support and you know sex and to make a child But after she has all those things and she no longer needs that then what you know the thing Then then you become her other child. So this is why it's important for men to always have more and to already have something You know a lot of men will say what would you bring to the table? The woman is the table darling. Okay Without this men would not have a need to work other than room board shelter and You know prostitutes Okay, that's that's all they would need to work for. Okay, and men get tired of that after a certain age Okay, when they start to go bald Look ugly. No one else wants them except the prostitute. They have to pay either way They're still gonna have to come out of their pocket for a woman. You know what I'm saying The thing is men You know They have to stay within Their reach of a woman like you can't expect some beautiful flawless woman if your bank account is a flawless Okay, or if you're not flawless. Okay, even a beautiful woman Won't be with a beautiful flawless man if he's broke. Okay This is not gonna happen. They would rather be with some ugly fat Dude who has a nice bank account than a flawless supermodel man. Okay, that's just reality because why women like comfort That's true, you know, just like men aren't gonna be with the ugliest woman you ever Ever seen in your life because she brings things to the table. They're not gonna take her in public They're not gonna do anything that like that with her. Why because men are visual creatures. Okay, it's very superficial We are on earth The earth is a superficial material existence, okay, if you're trying to go deeper than that That's fine, but in reality when you're ashamed to take your one out or when you're ashamed to Tell all your mom what your man got you for Christmas because it was from the Dollar Tree Then there's a problem. Then you want him to change. Thank you're nagging Then you want her to be better then you want him to be better Why don't you just go for what you want in the first place and stop lying to yourselves? All men want a beautiful woman who is going to Be there for them love them honor them Respect them and all women want comfort a man who they can look up to who can provide and protect for them Stop lying to yourselves. You don't want an equal partner because if men had an equal partner They won't feel like me if women had an equal partner, they won't feel like a wife or one They would feel like a mother. Okay So y'all have to start with this BS. It's not ever ever ever ever going to work out to the to the point where It's a wonderful relationship. Okay, if If both of you guys are working towards a y'all are both paying bills, that's fine But one has to make way more than the other You know one has to be the the the breadwinner one has to be like the dominant Financial Supporter, you know what I mean? Because that's how women and children feel safe if a man can't secure the home the woman doesn't feel safe You know, she doesn't feel protected. She can't sleep at night. She's worrying about how bills are gonna be paid You know, she doesn't want to sleep with you if she has to worry about it's the rent getting paid How can that turn a woman on? You know, oh, it's the rent getting paid. Oh, yeah, let's have sex. No, okay women like comfort Okay, and if you can't provide comfort if you're talking about building up this kingdom Kings don't need a queen to build up. They already have a kingdom. Okay, and Queens are not supposed to work if that's gonna be your next, you know comment anything. No, you already have to have it if a woman is You know respected enough To be able to assure your throne. That's fine But like I said, a queen does not need a king And a king does not need a queen because they already have Their kingdoms or kingdoms. Okay, whatever So what you want Is a wife and a husband If you're a girl, you want a husband if you're a man, you want a wife Now to those who don't want to marry at all. You just want to travel and live life be free great You know what? More power to you. There are so many people that wish they could have done that. Okay So if that is your dream don't feel pressured to get married and have kids Go do you have fun? Okay But if you guys are writing to people and inboxing people and Uh, you know trying to get dates and stuff like that and are mad and frustrated and taking it out on the opposite sex It's only because you are aiming either too high or too low and you don't and you're being False about what you really want. Okay being false about what you really want You know, there's millions of women out there who are good women as men would describe them But they don't look the part. Okay. There's many rich men out there You know that will take care of a woman in a second But many women They're they're they're you know, they're not thinking about that. They're thinking about oh true love and I don't feel Butterfly, you know what if you feel butterflies for a man, that's the wrong man He's supposed to feel butterflies for you. Okay, otherwise you'll always be chasing him And your relationship will be off balanced. Okay If you guys feel the same weight about each other think about this one could fall out of love one could grow bored And then who is going to feel this way about, you know, the other person It's always best for the woman to get a man who is head over heels Obsessed almost That is going to be the successful marriage that you want that the man is going to basically do whatever you want If you're a man if you have a woman that's totally obsessed with you We'll do whatever that's going to be your good relationship, but Remember women grow and women change with childbirth. So you also have to keep that into consideration, you know Now, I mean their mind Body spirit everything changes after children. Okay Most of them I'm going to say all but a lot of women will change, you know So you also have to keep that in your mind the baby will become the priority Not you after you have a kid the child is now the priority, you know Look for the most part unless the girl only had the child to keep you Then sadly Those babies are often neglected or used to hang child support over your head to keep you in a relationship blah blah blah blah blah anyway Make a long story short Only Get women who are head over heels for you um man Who you don't see changing drastically in the future Women get men. I mean get men that are head over heels for you that worship you So that when you are in a marriage and you are 10 years into marriage to 15 years into a marriage He's still worshiping it. Okay Get that type of man because once they get this vision of you and you're in their mind and how Great you are that is the vision they will always see of you. That's how they will always think of you. Okay So don't let these uh these guys tell you in the comments. Oh when you get old and they're gonna chew on you Men get old too, y'all And some of them go bald And some of them get the turkey neck Some of them, you know They get they just they don't look good anymore There's women, you know women Same thing sometimes women age bad for the most part, you know, they take care of themselves So don't let the age thing for you because you can always get a man who's older than you Just like you can always get a woman who's Younger than you. Do you know what I'm saying? so If you think about it If you're going for a younger more beautiful woman, they're not gonna have anything to bring you to the table either Okay, man And ladies if you're going for an older man, they're not gonna have to live up to their potential because they're already there. Okay Just putting it out there. There's a lot of women You know, they're confused. They're you know, love is not going to pay the bills at the end of the day You know financial abundances responsibility is being a good provider is you know Love comes with that if if someone took care of you think about it. What does your father and your mother do? They take care of you. They provide for you They make sure you are safe They care it for you. They loved you They gave you attention. That is what creates love. It's not something that you get from sex It's not something that you see Uh, like on a movie and you lock eyes and say oh, I'm in love. No love is taking care Of that other person and showing them how important they are actions. Okay. Love is not something you feel Like butterflies. That's called infatuation Lust You know intrigue love is some something, you know, someone you would die for You know, someone you can take care of someone you don't mind spending money on because you want to So y'all get that through your heads just because someone says the word love Unless they're showing you actions of love. That's not love. That's a word. Okay y'all I'm gonna repeat that just because someone says I love you. I still love you. I love you Still does not show love. You know what I'm saying? It's not showing you anything Okay, it's a word if you can't be shown love Then that is not love. Okay. I'm out. I'll see y'all probably after the holidays Don't forget to subscribe if you're new and I will see y'all