 In the past few weeks have been more than hectic for Jack Bennett. Yesterday, tired and weary, our little star returned home from New York City. As we look in on him today, he's determined to do nothing but relax and take it easy. Are you comfortable, boss? Oh yes, very comfortable. Rochester, move that ash tray a little closer, will you please? Here you are. Rochester, move my chair a little closer to the fireplace. Yes, sir. Ah, what a way to relax. Rochester, flip the ashes off my cigarette. Will you please? Yes, sir. Ah. Do you want me to lift your eyelids so you can see the fire? No, no, I'll do it myself. But with these long lashes, the arc's kinda heavy. Yes, sir, there's nothing like sitting by the open fire. Ah. Ah. What was that? I just threw one in to help you out. Jesus is wonderful. Think I'll doze off for a while. His chair's so nice. I have to get that spring fixed. You know, Rochester, I hope nobody drops in today. I just want to sit here and forget everything. Hmm. Hmm. Boss, what are you sitting in for? My back itches. Scratch it for me, will you, Rochester, please? Okay. A little higher. To the left. Lower. Up a little. Higher. Higher. Ah. Rochester, remember that Chinese back scratcher I used to have? Yeah, why'd you ever fire him? Oh, stop. That's the back door, I'll get it. Let's see, where's the newspaper? Oh, here it is. Hmm. Look at this item on the amusement page. All Hollywood turned out last night for the gala premiere of Broken Blossoms starring Richard Bothellness and... Oh, for heaven's sake, where's today's paper? Which Rochester would clean this room more often? Oh, here's this morning's paper. Let's see what Luella Parsons has to say. Movies are doing better than ever. Harvey and Bourne yesterday are breaking box office records all over the country. Claudette Colbert has become very serious about her failing hobby, with the mission of doing several portraits of notable people, including Mrs. James Turner. How do you like that? Not one word about my television show. Not even a mention about my having been to New York. A fine press agent I've got. That's Steve Bradley has certainly been laying down on the job. I've been out of town for two weeks, not one word about it. I'm going to call him up and tell him a thing or two. Any public relations, Steve's talking? Hello, Steve, this is Jack Bemmie. Well, this is a coincidence. I'm just sitting here with my feet up on the desk thinking about what a great job I'm doing for you. Great job. Look, Steve, that's what I called you about. I've been reading every paper I could find for the past two days. There's not one word about my trip to New York. I'm sorry about that, Bemmie. When are you going? Bowie, look, Steve, for your information I went to New York, did a television show last Sunday and I'm home again. Well, maybe I haven't neglected you a little, Bemmie. But I've got other clients, you know. I know, I know. Yeah, but the past months I've been in the middle of a big campaign for Ethel Barrymore. Ethel Barrymore? Yes, sir. If I'd have swung this deal, I'd have that little lady's name on the front pages of newspapers all over this country. Steve, what did you have in mind for Miss Barrymore? I was trying to get her signed up as head coach at USC. Ethel coaching football? In my business, Bemmie, you've got to keep thinking of all the time. Oh, yes, yes. Well, look, you haven't been doing enough thinking about me. Here I went to New York, did my second television show. There's not one word of it in the paper. Don't worry about a thing, Bemmie. I'll place a couple of items about you next week. Well, all right. Goodbye, Steve. That guy's the fastest talker. Oh, Rochester, who was that at the back door a while ago? Oh, that was Mr. Coleman's brother. He brought Polly back. Oh, yes. You know, it was nice of the Coleman to keep my parrot while I was in New York. Oh, Polly. Daddy's glad to see you again. Hello, Polly. Hello, Benita. Benita? Oh, isn't that cute, Rochester? Polly stayed with the Coleman so long she's picked up their conversation. Yeah. Watch this, Rochester. I'll make that out of Benita. Maybe she'll answer me. Oh, Ronnie, how would you like to take me out to dinner tonight? Oh, that's the meal I've got on television. I'll never know. Polly. Polly, you shouldn't repeat everything. Well, hello, boss. He's better than a tape recorder. That's not the point. It isn't polite. There's the phone. I'll get it, Rochester. Hello? Well, look, Luffy. Listen, close, because I ain't got much time. I just talked to a big head and we're going to pull it off just as we planned. So stand by. Flow will call you later. Hmm. Who was that boss? I don't know. Must have been a wrong number. I tell you, Benita, that man is a minister of society. Polly, be quiet. Now, let's see. Where did I put my newspaper? Oh, here it is. Oh, I wish people wouldn't come over when I'm trying to relax. See who it is, Rochester. Yes, sir. Hello, Mr. Day. Hello, Rochester. Come on in. Can I take your overcoat? Yeah, here. Here's my top coat, too. Top coat? Here's my raincoat. Here's my sport coat. Here's my suede jacket. Mr. Day, why do you wear all those coats? Oh, my mother makes me wear shorter hangers. Oh. Is Mr. Benny here? He's in the library. And Mr. Day, he's trying to wrestle. Don't do anything to upset him. Oh, don't worry. I won't. Hello, Mr. Benny. Oh, hello, Dennis. Pardon me for not getting up. I hope you won't think I'm lazy, but today I'm just taking it easy. Oh, that's all right. I understand. Good. When most people reach your age, they sleep all the time. Look, Dennis. It's a good thing you've only got one show. Now, Dennis, you must have had a reason for coming over here. Now, what do you want? Well, you always like to hear my song before I do it on the program, so I came over to sing it for you. All right, but there are only the two of us here in the library, and I'm trying to rest. So don't sing it too loud. Would you like me to lie down beside you and sing it in your ear? No! You can sing standing up. I'm trying to relax. Go ahead. Okay. Hey, that'll be fine on the program, kid. It sounded fine. Well, it certainly did, Dennis. Hey, Mary, when'd you come in? Well, Dennis is singing. Where's everybody? Everybody? When I looked at your coat rack, I thought you were throwing a party. What? Who's in my coat? Dennis, why would you... Jack, shall I ask him? No. I guess you're right. Don't ask him anything today. I just want to relax, Mary. That's all. I'm tired from my time here. Well, I don't blame you, Jack. You had a pretty busy time in New York. Yeah, most of the time I didn't get to see you, Mary. What were you doing? Well, Jack, I thought as long as you were so busy with rehearsals and everything, I'd run over to Plainfield and visit my family. Oh, how are they? Fine. While we were having dinner, we watched your television show. And, Jack, you look wonderful in color. In color? Yeah, when Mama... When you came on Mama threw the cancer bottle on the screen. The first joke, and look what happened. All the straight lines, she read fine. Read it again, because we got something to follow. I can't. I threw the page away. When you came... Well, I'll read it for you. Jack, when you came on Mama threw the cancer bottle on the screen. When you catch a bottle out the screen, then I say no. Papa didn't wash it off till Fay Emerson came on. Well, congratulations! Well, Mary, if your mother doesn't like my show, it's just because she has no sense of humor. No sense of humor? If I didn't read Mama's letter, your show wouldn't get about as many laughs as a Frost Warning. Oh, I don't know. And you also get a lot of laughs at the expense of my poor sister, Babe. Sorry about that, Mary, and I'll watch it. By the way, how is Babe? Well, when I was there, she was down in the dumps. Down in the dumps? Why? She works there. Well, with three words, you don't have any trouble. Now, you just ball me out for insulting your sister, and then you say a thing like that. Well, as long as you tell the truth, Babe doesn't mind. Oh, well good, because the truth will get us more laughs than the things that... I'll take it. Hello? Left you. This is Flo. Now get this straight. We're all going to meet on the corner of Santa Monica and Beverly at ten minutes to three. Have everything ready, but don't leave the house until you hear from Big Head. Jack? Jack, what's the matter? I don't know. This is the second phone call. This time they said we're all going to meet at the corner of... I don't know, maybe it's a picnic or something. Sound these wrong numbers, anyway. Hey, anybody home? Yeah, yeah, I'm here, Phil. Oh, hi, you livey, Dennis. You know I... Well, if it ain't Jackson, relaxin'. Hey, Jackson, with that leopard skin robe on, you look like Cedar Barrett. All right, all right, Phil. There's no doubt about it. You've got it, Cedar. What do you want, Phil? Well, look, I was just on my way out to the club and I thought maybe he'd come with me and we'd play some golf. Golf? No, I don't think so. Well, look, then I'll be running along. I want to get out there and sock that old ball around. Hey, Phil, you really gone crazy about golf since you won that tournament up at Table Beach. Well, why not, Liv? Imagine me shootin' a 75 on that course. Think of it. Phil, was that the first time you ever shot a 75? I don't know. That's the first time anybody ever added it up for him. Oh, I might have had a couple of 62s. Who knows? Yeah, yeah, who knows? Hey, look, you sure you don't want to come along, Jackson? Remley's gonna meet me at the first tee. Also, Remley took up the game too, huh? Yeah, and you should see him, Cedar. He's really fitted out. Yeah, he's got a couple of sets of clubs and two big golf bags. Two golf bags? What does he need the other one for? You can't carry them ice cubes in your pocket, you know. Phil, you mean... Jackson once, Frankie, spent four days in a sand trap and loved every minute. Well, I'm glad. Oh, come on, Jackson. Why don't you join us? We'll just have a friendly game. Five dollars a hole. Five dollars a hole? I'll play golf with you, Phil, and I'll bet you ten dollars a hole. What? Dennis, how can you bet him ten dollars a hole? Phil just won a tournament, and you've never played golf before. I know. Well, how do you expect to beat him? I've been drinkin' had a call. Yeah, go on, both of you. All right, so long, Jackson. Goodbye, Liv. Don't forget old hat either. Well, I'm glad they're going. You don't marry the way Phil carries on when he's playing golf. I can't understand how he won that tournament. Oh, I don't know, Jack. I saw him playing every day, and he's pretty good. He is? Yeah, he stepped up to the first tee for the swing and made a hole in one. So what? That's been done before. With a knowledge? That is pretty good. I bet Remly can't he? Now, look at that thing. Come in. Oh, hello, Don. Hello, Mary. Are you busy, Jack? No, Don. Sit down. Well, thanks. I won't be able to stay long. I've got an appointment over at Hillcrest Motor Company to try on a new Cadillac. Uh, try on? Yeah, Mary, his last one. They had to let it out a little around the prime. Well, Don, I'm glad you dropped in because I want to congratulate you. I'm being selected by Same Magazine as radio's number one announcer. Well, thank you, Jack, and I want to congratulate you. I want to congratulate you, Jack, for being selected as radio's finest comedian. And I want to congratulate you, Don, because this is the third year that you've won. And I want to congratulate you because this is the third year that you've won. And I want to congratulate both of you for being so modest. Thank you. Thank you. Are those two flamingos starting to radio? I'll never know. Polly! Oh, Jack, the sportsman's quartet is outside, so I'd like to bring them in. Don, Don, I'm trying to relax today. But, Jack, they just returned from the east where they saw you on television, and they prepared a number that expresses how great they thought you were. But, Don, Jack... Mary, you keep out of them. Where are they? Where are they? Well, I'll bring them in. Come on in, fellas! Yes, yes, come in. Hey, fellas, I understand you saw my television show. Thank you, I thought so too. Now, Jack, just stand right there while the boys tell you all about it. Yeah, tell me, fellas. Go ahead, tell me. I'm ready. You ought to stay in TV. You're wonderful to see. You sure belong on TV. Or you're as cute as can be. You make a pretty picture. You're beautiful to view. When you're on television, your eyes of blue come flashing through. Your face is so nice and round, it looks just like a cantaloupe. A cantaloupe? When you're on the video, we know there's hope for kin and scope. You're handsome, urban gable. There's nothing that you lack. You ought to go to New York and don't come back here. What was that laugh? Your lucky strike commercial was really something grand. The way you held those lucky are favorite friends in your hand. For deep down smoking pleasure, it's better than a tea. It means it's fine to back old. You will agree. Yes, sir, read. Lucky's are so firm, so fully packed. They're not a puff that's rough. It's smoking for nine or twenty years. They are the ones we love. Love for smoke and satisfaction. It's lucky you will like. Be happy and go lucky. Go lucky. Very good, Don. Thanks a lot, fellas. Well, Jack, I've got to be running along. Don, would you mind dropping me by my house? Oh, not at all, Mary. Come on. Bye, Jack. So long, Mary. Goodbye, Don. Goodbye. Bye, Mr. Benny. Dennis, I thought you left a long time ago. Oh, I just got finished putting on my coat. Oh, well, goodbye. Well, everybody's finally gone. Now I can... Say, boss! Yes, Rochester. When did you get this con to a chair? Con? Oh, that was a straight chair. Don Wilson sat in it. Rochester, will you fix those Venetian blinds, the sun is in my eye. Yes, sir. There's a phone. I'll get it. I'll get it. Hello? Matthew, this is Big Ed. Now listen to me, because I only got time to say it once. You have your car in front of the bank at 3 o'clock. When you hear his brother say, start the motor. We'll be out in 10 seconds with a don. Say, Don, Big Ed, Rochester. I know what those phone calls are about. A gang is going to rob the bank on the corner of Santa Monica and Beverly at 3 o'clock. Rob the bank? Yeah, and they want to use my car for the getaway. Your car? Yes. I can answer that 12 different ways and get my own show. Never mind. This is serious. I got to notify the police. Yeah, you better call them right away. No, I can't use the phone. I think the line is taped. I think the line is tapped. I'm going to rush right to the bank. Give me my... give me my phone. Our dentist ain't warring home. Oh, well, it's warm out. I can go like this. Goodbye. Okay, Sergeant, show them moves. Yeah. There, I jumped your... Hmm. I got to figure this out. You know, Joe, this police station gives me the creeps. Nothing ever happens in Beverly Hills. Yeah, we ain't had nothing big since they found that body on Rexwood Drive. But a night that was. I never could figure that one out. The guy's laying there with nothing but a niblick and a golf bag full of ice cubes. I wonder why he kept calling me Curly. I don't know. Go ahead, Joe, it's your move. Hell, let's see. Hey, which one of you is the death target? I am. Look, Sergeant, I just got three phone calls by mistake. They were from a bunch of gangsters. They're meeting at the corner of Santa Monica and Beverly. They're going to rob that bank. Didn't you hear me? They're going to rob the bank. In Beverly Hills, your move, Joe. But you got to listen to me. They're going to do it at three o'clock. It's almost that time now. There, Sarge, king me. How can you sit there, plain checkers? When I'm telling you that... Oh, I'll get it. Beverly Hills Police. Yeah, what is it, Murphy? What? Yeah, sure, right away. What is it, Sarge? Oh, this guy wasn't kidding. They did rob the bank. You see? You see? You see? You wouldn't listen to me. Go, send this out on the radio right away. I'm going to get the lieutenant. Well, look, what about... You stay here. You're giving us a great tip. We want to get some more information from you. Gee, this is exciting. Let's see if I can remember the name. It was Letty, Flo, and Big S. Gosh, I'm a hero. They may even give me a medal. Eh, medal. There should be a reward. Here's what it is. Be happy, go lucky. Be happy, go lucky. Be happy, go lucky. Oh, oh, there you have it. Anyhow, everything's working out. See, what are you doing here? Mind you're in here. I've got the photographers waiting out in the hall. I'll have your picture on the front page of every newspaper in the country. That's wonderful, but how'd you find out so soon? Find out what he means, find out. I set up this whole thing. You? Certainly, I paid those people to call you and I myself made that call to the sergeant from the phone booth on the corner. Steve. How do you like those names, huh? Letty, Flo, Big S. I'm thinking of a minute. But this is awful. I can get into trouble over a thing like this. Certainly you can. First they'll find you $50 for starting false rumors that allow this publicity. Then they'll refuse to pay the fine. See, you can set the course three years. Jumping bail's five years. But Steve. I have a little act we can put you away for ten years. It's beautiful. Steve. Steve, do you realize that... Hey, you. Me? Yeah, what was that story you were trying to give us? There was no bank robbery. What are you trying to pull? Look, this Crosby was a... I got him tried. He tried to get away, but I held him. Tell me. Grab him, Joe. Take your hands off me. Let me go to your ears. Find him, baby. Find him. This is classic. We've just seen the rest after the next two years. I've been looking for... Steve, help me. No, no, no, no, Benny. I can't put you away. I'll figure it out some way for you to escape. And your picture will be in the post office. All over the dressing room. But Steve, you can't do this. Come on, Benny. I've got to rush out and call the new Steve. Steve, Steve. I may have missed the boat on Esso Barrymore, but this one will put me back in business. Steve, grab him, Joe. I got him. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I don't want to go to prison. Don't put me in that cell. Don't put me in... Hmm. A contour chair. Well, now I can finally relax. Good night, Joe. Rochester. Oh, hello, boss. What happened at the police station? What happened? I reported the robbery. Found out the whole thing was a publicity stunt cooked up by Steve Bradley. What a job I had getting. I'll get it. Hello? Kathy, this is Big Ed. Now, listen to me because I've only got time to say it once. You have your car in front of me. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm not falling for that again. Who is this? Jack Benny. Oh, pardon me. I was supposed to be calling Ethel Barrymore. What? Oh, please don't tell Steve. He'll kill me. I won't. I won't. Good night.