 Hello, Adam Onger, feud nation. I'm sure you've heard of the channel. No, a lot of nose shaking. Okay, I'm here to audition for a plethora of roles in the Harry Potter reboot films. I heard we're doing that because the Fantastic Beasts wasn't so fantastic. Tell me what would I get if I added a Asphodel powder of root wood and... I'm sorry, what is it again? What would you get if you crossed an infusion of Bulldog with Shih Tzu? A bullshit. Dumb and Dumber reference. No? You've got dirt on your nose, by the way. Did you know? Just there. Ah, another Weasley. I know what to do with you. Gryffindor! Not that menacing. And what is the difference between Monk Shud and Wolfsbane? I don't know, sa. Gritty. Clearly fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter? Harry Potter! Such an honor it is! Jesus, who the fuck are you? Georgia, sir! I mean Dobby, sir! Dobby the house elf! Not to be rude or anything, but this isn't the best time to have a house elf in my bedroom. No, it was Hermione, on the other hand. Just gonna do a bunch of wand play. You can kind of see the skills I have and maybe you can even CGI'd into a film if you want to have my permission. That's the serious black snapback. Snapback. Let us hope that Mr. Potter is always around to save the day. All the assholes in Harry Potter, they say Potter like super pronounced. Potter! Potter! Don't worry, I will be, mother fuck. Training for the ballet, huh, Potter? Scared, Potter? Bet you love that, didn't you, Potter? Famous Harry Potter can't even go to the bookstore without making the front page. Leave him alone. Oh look, Potter, you got yourself a girlfriend. You shall not harm Harry Potter! A word of caution! Dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they hunt and the one that gets in their way. Therefore, I should warn each and every one of you not to give them a reason to harm you. It is not in the nature of the Dementor to be forgiving. But you know, happiness can be found in even the darkest of times when one simply finds the light something like that light. Basically Dumbledore's just like pissed. He just hates everybody, right? That's how this wizard is. He's just really grumpy and mad. The boy who lived has come to die. Could you please predict something for me? Not my daughter, you bitch! Killzer. Harry Potter. For kids. Shall I divulge how I truly lost my powers? It was love. I could not touch him. It was old magic. Something I should have foreseen. But no matter, no matter, things have changed. I can touch you now. You're the weak one and you'll never know love or friendship. And I feel sorry for you. You're a fool, Harry. And you will lose everything. I lost all my possessions. Apparently people have been hiding them. That's awful. Oh, it's all good fun. But as this is the last night, I really do need them back. You know, I really do hate children. That's me taking the spell and like bubblifying it and then throwing it back. Harry! Did you put your name in the fucking Goblet of Fire? Huh? Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, you piece of shit? Jesus Christ! Oh, you motherfucker! Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire? Huh? You're a wizard, Harry! Expecto Petronum! It's gonna be like a hook shot. I'm gonna catch the spell and throw it back at him. Drink it, old man. Drink it all, you stupid old man. Make me drink the poison, Harry. That'll make me drink the poison. Let me to rub your belly. There you go. I don't want it. Kill me. Kill me. Did you put your name in the fucking Goblet, Harry? I can touch you now. Is me flying on a broom? Pass the quaffle. I'm a beater. Pass the quaffle. Shouldn't have passed it. Hey guys, who's winning the Quidditch match? What's the snitchuation? Be free to use that line. Trademark, Adam Olinger. Okay, I guess I can do a bonus one of Newt Scamander in case you want to recast him because he's just the worst. Creature is a loose in my case. So British and beast and fantastic things and just the klutzy wizard. Thank you for your time. I think this went very well. I'm off to another edition. I'm going to be trying out for all the parts in the live-action Beauty and the Beast 2 sequel to the hit live-action film that just came out. I can touch you.