 Cool, and we're live. I'm here in Orlando, Florida. My name is Anthony Johnson founder of the 21 convention and 21 studios Today in our podcast. We have Ross Jefferies the founder of speed seduction and the undisputed godfather of the modern seduction community Ross, thanks for coming on the show. Yeah Yes, I am. I don't know whether I should be proud or ashamed that I'm the godfather of the community this deviant subculture and but I mean that in the official term I studied so part of what I did at UCLA was I studied sociology and I took a class and Deviant culture and by deviant. We don't mean sick or twisted We just mean it deviates from the norm and deviant cultures have subcultures have their own lingo their own rituals their own Technical vocabulary and so I think that's what the community aside from the commercial aspects of it really about at this point. It's a Different subculture that's cut off or isolated out from the norm, which is great. I don't think the normal leads to anything worthwhile Yeah, it leads to being mediocre, which is yeah, not worthwhile. So you mentioned Yeah, so you mentioned the commercial aspect of the seduction community. You've seen that I think from a bird's eye view More than anyone else. I'm even coaching. I think since 19 late 1980s 88 89 Well, I wrote my first book in 1988 I did my first seminar in 1991 so in many of them out there who are proclaiming themselves as coaches who weren't even alive When I started and the rest probably didn't even have their pubic hair Probably didn't even hit puberty yet now being the longest in business doesn't necessarily mean your best But yeah, it was Malcolm Gladwell who said you have to put in your 10,000 hours to get really good at something Well, I put in my 30,000 hours 40,000 hours 50,000 hours of teaching and coaching So I think I've got the chops there Yeah, totally. I mean, yeah, I'm actually one of the guys. I don't think I was I was born in August 88 So it sounds like you were actually Yeah, you were I Those guys I've written my first book right around then and it just gotten into neuro linguistic programming and Hypnosis and I really want at some point of the interview. I want to talk about Altering a woman's states of consciousness as a way of doing seduction where you don't need Higher value or higher social status or being an alpha male or the rest of things that are commonly taught in the community Which I think are either unnecessary or very unscientific or ill-defined You know, we talked about I know in the I don't want to get too much into the red pill community But I know we were having a discussion the other day. They have what they called the dark triad. I believe it's narcissism sociopathy and Machiavellian it Machiavellianism. How do you say that? Yeah, so it's narcissism. It's Machiavellianism and psychopathy not sociopathy Right and this is a subject in psychology more broadly to a red pill just takes it draws to play at the game I think we should I'm gonna coin a new term I'm gonna talk about the sloppy triad of Loppy triad of sloppy thinking in the red pill community, which is overgeneralizing ill-defined terms and Trying to extrapolate from one field. That's evolutionary psychology into another So that's the sloppy thinking triad. I think that is going on, but I don't want to make this broadcast about red pill I too much. I really want to make it about my own work Yeah, yeah, you have a such an extensive history. I think coaching and teaching and being involved in this field There's a lot there to focus on in itself And I'm sure we'll have you back on again soon and of course at the event this year in Atlanta, Florida Yeah, yeah, I'm not quite sure what I'll be talking about. I'm playing around with two subjects It could be the radical art of un-fucking yourself Yeah, I like I like that title that That speaks to me personally because what I found here's what I found It doesn't matter whose system you're using whether you're using Mystery method or I won't I don't won't even I'm Hold them in such content. I won't even say the real initials DSR Or any another methods. Here's the challenge you face. Let's say all those methods work Let's say for the sake of argument. They're all valid Here's the question How do you go up a learning curve with these ways of thinking that are different from what you're used to thinking and doing and acting And not slide back down that learning curve the moment you make an error or a mistake how do you actually apply the tools with a informed enthusiasm and an Intelligent motivation, how do you do that? Because what happens is I'll tell you a quick story. I had a student Who took one of my seminars and then I got a call from him and he said, you know Ross? I studied your material and I went to a Restaurant, I saw a very attractive woman there and I just no fear and no hesitation I walked up to her and I said, excuse me. I owe you a deep apology She said for what and he said my mother taught me it was rude to stare But when I saw you I've not been able to take my eyes off you. My name is George Totally blew her away Completely blew her away. Now. I know some people would say wow, that's a direct approach But we'll go into I want you to make a check mark there and talk about how the direct approach can work So at the end of the time that they're talking He says look, I don't know what your personal situation is But if you're not with someone Who's with you in the way you truly want them to be then I'd like you to spend some time with me So they wind up kissing a little bit. She hands him her business card With her personal cell phone number on it. He thinks I'm gonna play it really cool. I'm gonna wait three days Now his first error by the way was not trying to pull her right then and there out of the restaurant All right, I understand that So anyway He puts the card with her phone number on its desk waits three days when he goes to look for it He can't find it. He tosses his condo after like two hours of searching. He thinks holy fuck. I threw it in the dumpster. It's that it's trash night Shit, so he goes out to the dumpster. He's crawling around dirty diapers use tampons cat litter after 90 minutes He comes up No card and what he said to me was really interesting He said Ross my old self came back. I've been depressed for six weeks and now I can't even talk to a woman Now that's a very dramatic example, but it's not that dramatic an example that guys give up so quickly Yeah, as a hypnotist, I thought how is that possible because I've been doing hypnosis since 1988 and literally Tens of thousands of people. I thought as a hypnotist. How is it possible that he's hallucinated away? Everything he did right because he did a lot of right stuff there He did a lot of right stuff. How is it possible that he's forgotten all of it? And all he can do is see and feel the failure And what do you mean by old self? Where was his old self when he was making out with that woman and really? Really making an impact Where did his new self go when his old self came back and what it occurs to me is these concepts of new self old self Are not really useful. What I know is this he was looking at his progress through the pain of his past He was looking at the progress through the pain of his past and his old limiting beliefs My mother used to say if you dip your glasses in shit, even the roses will look brown So how do you do that? How do you build? Well, that was my mom. How do you build a? Vision that's not dependent on your feelings in the moment or the events of the day And that's not colored by your own pains and poisons and that's what I've got the lock on that's what I've learned to do and I don't think anyone else in this industry really knows how to do that or recognizes how deep that problem goes Okay, and and the alternative is Just one quick thing the alternatives that they're selling or pump yourself up with fake confidence or just push through the pain I don't think those are good solutions Okay, okay, so when you say this is the core your work It's no well That's one of the pillars of my work The other pillar is learning how to use language to create states in a woman of excitement fascination desire deep connection ready to Ready to get it on and link that to you So that's number two and the third one is having a profoundly different understanding of how women work Emotionally without having to go into non provable theory. Everything I teach is just a map It's not true with the capital T. It's a useful map. It's subject to change. It's incomplete I'm sure in some senses. It's even wrong, but it's you mean the map is not the territory basically, right? Absolutely, and where I hold an objection to is where other schools teach what they're saying It's a capital T or they try to tie it to science where there is no science behind it But in any case so those are the three pillars of of what I'm teaching but without that Here's what I found happened without that learning theory part without solving that law learn learned helplessness aspect. I found students would come back again and again and They always sat in the same part of the room Anthony They'd ask questions like Excuse me Ross and your New Jersey tape series from 1994 tape 5 20 23 minutes and 15 seconds in you said the following language pattern and my response is always no I don't remember because I don't and I'd say have you actually tried this on a woman and they say something like well my projection is in three months the possibility and probability and What these people do is they become Junkies they hop from school to school because they think That the way to learn skill is by talking to themselves on the inside of their head auditory digital dialogue to use a NLP term And so that's I've seen this countless times in the pickup community I mean this was back in the 2000s as well This is notorious you just hop and hop and hop guys would never stick with something now That's great for business, but it's a shit-poor way to actually get results for people and exactly and I really want to have that impact I have on my I have two glassboards big glassboards where I write my my goals one is tactical but one has to do with my values and and For the top ones or thought leader Breakthrough contribution and significance. I really know at this point Anthony when they click out my lights I'm 58 I'm planning to stay healthy and stick around for a while But when they click out my lights at the end of that time I know that I've changed tens of thousands of lives and no one can take it away from me But I didn't do it by being a sloppy thinker One thing I give myself credit for is being a very clear thinker and I think bringing clear thinking To the community is something that needs to be done particularly addressing that problem of Moving up that learning curve. I've seen it again and again now some people don't need it Some people are really well trained their self-made people and even then they still need help. I mean, I've been working with the guy who built his own Insurance media company. He sells media to insurance companies. He's worth a fortune and in his business context He's great, but when it comes to women, he's really stuck at least up until working with me And yeah, it's just something a lot of the red pill guys like Rollo talk a lot about two guys We'll be absolutely kick-ass in certain components of their life and then with women they flip it all on a Ted Well, he's right. He's right He's right. One of the ways I've heard it put two is actually if those guys ran Their business like they run the personal life. They'd be bankrupt. Yeah, which just snaps all these guys out of it. Yeah Commentary on that. Yeah, I think you're correct. I think Rollo is correct as well So let's take a step back We were talking about the commercial aspect of the seduction community just a few minutes ago You've again had a bird's-eye view on that like no one else I think because you're the beginning of it first of all, but then just something you know so much involvement in it How have you seen that change from? 1988 2005 Sure, so from 1988 to basically 1999 I was the only person doing this Couple things were true I think what was easy for me to jump in is I was coming in right at the birth of the internet So I got online very early. I got seduction.com in 94. I had a friend and a fan a fanatical fan. That's a fanatical fan is Is repetitive and in any case so he said get online So I got seduction.com, but I think what's changed is anyone in 1999 mystery started getting on the boards and promulgating his theory and We would have debates and discussions and then David D'Angelo came around right along that time And he's a brilliant marketer. I think he's a much better marketer than Virtually anyone out there at least he used to be I don't know who else is out there at this point and what their marketing strategies are With comes a marketing. So yeah, it's a marketing legend. He used to be by the way He was one of my students. He started out one of my students is his real name is Evan Other people hypnotic Steve Pickett's Lot of people so I never told you this but until right now, but Probably the first thing I found on the internet was actually a routine. I think or something along those lines that you had actually Posted to fast seduction.com. So this is back in 2000 2006. I think early 2000 2005 this is 2005 actually excuse me So you're actually the first author I found some people would say I'm a fountain of bullshit other people would say I'm a fountain of creativity. A lot of people. I'm a combination of the two So I think what really made a difference Anthony is it became very easy with the advent I don't know if it was WordPress or whatever it was anyone could put up a website Get on YouTube and proclaim themselves an expert Anybody the bar to entry became much lower and then what happened the big event of course that happened is 2005 When Neil Strauss published the game then exploded. I still hear from people that their first Exposure to me was the game One of things I hope is with the younger audience who really is not familiar with my work Who's watching today as they find yourself getting more curious about what it is. You're learning from me that has value That you'll begin to see wow, wait a minute. This Ross Jeffries really has something I want to hear more about And I found there's a younger generation who just is not familiar with my work They don't know it and what they will soon they will soon and I promise both say I know they will they will So I think that's the big change the game changed everything a lot of people in the game went on to stardom I remember I'll tell you a story Back about a year and a half before the game was finished. I Would sit there at Project Hollywood there is a little place called Mel's diner right literally like 100 feet from it So we would sit at the table. It would be myself mystery Neil and Tyler back then Tyler was just a kid From Canada who would sit there wide-eyed and absorb everything and I could see him thinking and thinking he actually This is not a personal thing. I actually got the idea He was somewhat asperger because he didn't make normal eye contact and he was processing Everything is an algorithm. He was at that time. I'm not saying he is now, but at that time he was sort of like us What is someone call him a social robot? Yeah, I think yeah, yeah, I'm sure he's grown and matured. I Do believe if I'm not mistaken, so I do believe this is accurate I think I've seen Tyler actually say this sir Owen publicly I do think he was later diagnosed with some version of Asperger's just like that I think a lot of people in the community who teach or either on the Asperger or even the I don't know the dissension really between sociopathic and psychopathic. They seem to be the same to me But it's not really that important a lot of Yeah, they're there. They're very similar Yeah, a lot of teachers that I can name to me are clinically sociopaths And I'm not going to do that because honestly, I've had a reputation of trashing people I don't want to do it, but I would caution people. Here's the caution I would give people who really want to see who's a good teacher and who isn't Because I always test my teachers the greatest teacher. I've ever met You know, I've worked with Richard. I'd studied with Richard Bandler the co-creator of NLP But the greatest mind and the greatest teacher I've ever met is my meditation teacher Shinzen young He is to meditation in my opinion only what Einstein was to physics and the single most brilliant person I've ever met the first meditation retreat I took with him in the morning I asked him a very challenging question. It had to do with the apparent contradiction between the yoga sutra and Buddhist philosophy about whether there's actually a soul and I said do you understand the question and He giggled. He literally giggled. He said, of course, I understand the question Otherwise, I wouldn't be qualified to teach. He gave me a beautiful answer He giggled again and he said did that answer your question and I went Yeah, it did but the fact of the matter is he didn't feel attacked by the question He thought okay. Sure. Of course. I know the answer now I beg plead challenge bully bribe my students at my events to please ask the skeptical questions I want to create people who can think for themselves and so yeah, I'll reward them I'll say, okay, what's this get when I do a piece of change work with someone I can do dramatic change work with someone I can take someone who's terrified of women and many cases get rid of it in 20 minutes I work with other stuff too. I I will say now What's the skeptical question you all should be asking and no one raises their hand? So come on you chicken chits All right. Who here is thinking? How do we know that it will last outside the seminar room and every hand goes up Every hand goes up and I said now you chicken chips next time I say ask a Challenging question asked it. I'm not threatened by it. I've even had students Improve my work much to my chagrin. They turned out to go and steal a lot of my work and create their own System that's why I started Changing the paperwork people have to sign well speed seduction is actually a registered trademark right Correct. I will I will defend the trademark People steal my work and unless it's word-for-word copied then I really can't sue them and my attorney early on so we should sue All these people said no don't want to do it. We wouldn't prevail. That's not how I do it But I will defend the mark. I'm required by federal law to defend the trademark so if someone uses the trademark and I don't defend it then it becomes part of the public domain and Then I lose it. So for those of you watching out there Don't use my trademark because I'm forced literally backed into a corner to defend it Okay Man man Echo in your end by the way, I don't know if the guys are hearing I don't hear an echo I've got headphones in and I'm not hearing an echo All right, I hope none of the guys are if they are sorry about that Man there's a lot there I'm not even sure where to take this like hey, I'll take a moment I mean my my hands very information dense And there's a lot going well, I was gonna say this I was gonna add a comment to this that at the 21 convention one of the most consistent comments at speakers across the board Whether it's with seduction or fitness or health or whatever Their consistent comment is if the the questions they get from the event or at the event from the attendees are always top in the not top of the line cool top notch cool So I think you'll find that at the convention this year and you'll appreciate it a lot cool as a teacher One thing I can unpack is some of the ways I go about Untie these knots that people are in and going about breaking their fear and doing that kind of thing One of the things actually someone asked in the chat a few minutes ago was if you could talk about self sabotage Sure probably with regards to seduction and interact with women. I don't believe there is a thing called self sabotage I don't believe there's a thing called confidence And what but when I say that it's a tricky answer What I mean is these are not things like your blood type or your Genetic code for your eye color. They're processes that we do They're not things so for me self sabotage is only a linguistic label It's a black box. It doesn't give you insight into what's actually going on So let me give you my insight into how that works For me self sabotage works in the following way, and I don't think I think it's not a useful label But let's call it Interrupting yourself. There are a couple different structures to how that works. Let me give you a metaphor when I was a kid I Like to break my little brother Steve's toys That was one of my schmucky little hobbies, and I'm of the Jewish religion. I don't practice it I don't necessarily believe in it, but one Hanukkah my sister Anita bought a toy robot for my little brother now This is 1966 you can imagine technology was very limited back then These are not these modern Japanese robots that were had some AI to them The only thing the robot could do is it could blink its eyes It can move forwards and it can move backwards. So being a schmucky little kid. I said, hmm Let's do an experiment. I pressed forward and backwards at the same time And the robot started to shake blue smoke came out. Let's ask. Oh Hey You somehow cut off your audio Yeah, I don't know what the fuck just happened there Yeah, something on your end if you can hear me definitely got cut out Ross I can't hear a word you're saying. Oh, there you go. You're back. You're back Can you hear me now? Yes, I'm sorry. I had to take out the headphones my apologies. All right. Well, the robot developed approach anxiety And in fact those kind of things are a lot of what you call self sabotage to me It's neurological friction One part of the guy wants to move forward But another part another equal and oppositely strong Command to the brain is stay right where you are until you're absolutely certain You know the exact right thing to say and do so we have neurological friction. So that's one quote self sabotage It's not an intentional. You're not doing it because you have low self-esteem, which I also think doesn't exist It's it's a buzzword. So that's one way to do it The second way to do it is you just have a bad operating system when it comes to learning We all know what an operating system is. I'm using a Mac. Are you using a Mac or a PC? Unfortunately, no, I'm using Windows 10 on my PC, but I will have a Mac at some point So we know what an operating system is it tells the computer basically how to execute commands and etc. etc so They're operating system for learning really sucks for every one Unit of taking action the world they have a hundred units of dwelling it over in their head over and over and over again You understand so their ratio of thinking to acting is way off So that's a second way that they quote self sabotage and the third way they do it is When they make a mistake They keep asking why did I do that? Why did they do that? Why did I do that? They dwell on the mistake now It's not because they're trying to sell sabotage. They're trying to learn from the error But by dwelling on the error and looking at it over and over and over again What happens is you're rehearsing it the brain can't tell the difference between what you dwell on and what you rehearse So naturally if you rehearsed it a thousand times and it comes time to do the behavior in the real world The brain's just gonna do what you told it to do not because you're trying to hurt yourself But you have a bad learning strategy. Yeah, you're literally rehearsing bad behaviors But is what you're trying to say, right? Yes in an effort to learn from it. So it's self. It's neurological friction It's a bad ratio of taking action to thinking it over and then it's dwelling on and Rehearsing mistakes that to me is the structure of self sabotage But the larger point I would like to make is how our language can free our world or how you can freeze it as long as you say I have self sabotage as if it's a thing in your body When you use that linguistic label You can't pull it back and look into the box and make contact with the processes that you're actually running in your body And in your brain. So you have no hope of changing it. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, all these all the ideas you're throwing I mean, I like a lot especially neurological friction. I've never thought of it anything like that. Well, it's a reframe I do it's a reframe. I do also with people one of the things I do is I'm starting to teach people in sales and I'm saying You're creating neurological friction You don't have anxiety about making cold calls and look at that label by the way cold approach cold calling Look at that label guys talk about a cold approach. That's a terrible metaphor What does it imply it implies that there's a block of ice there's a person is going to be unfriendly to you It's presupposing a lot of things that are not true or may not be true Instead how about if you thought extending my opportunity extending an opportunity I'm so Yeah, do you hear that holy shit if you put your headphones back in they might solve it All right, let me I don't know what the hell that was. Let me try. I'm sorry about this Was that a cat or that like Yeah If you have an Apple headset as well around I would plug in your Mac really quickly and pick everything up Technical issues. Sorry about that. Now you hear me. Yep. It's loud and clear. I'm good Okay, so these labels don't work very well these labels that thingify our world This is a big teaching in NLP a very big teaching in NLP that we don't want to do what NLP calls Nominalizing Nominalization takes place when you take a verb and you turn it into a noun This is why I say there's no such thing as confidence There is the experience of confidence, but confidence is not a thing or quality that you possess in your body Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, it's a mental activity basically saying it's cognitive. It's not like cognitive and it's Yes, it's also neurological. It's also what's flowing in your body What what is the breathing? Pattern that you're doing the tense the tenseness of your musculature What's going on with your blood pressure, etc, etc? Okay, we're getting a lot of comments by the way people are really Yeah So here's one How do you differentiate between self sabotage and system thinking in a post-tender dating? The question makes no sense to me Yeah, I Guess he's a little bit younger. He's goofing around on Tinder, which I do too How can someone be honest to him or herself so self-honesty? Self-honesty That's an interesting question. I think the first thing you need to do is to be non-judgmental is To have the courage gives you the clarity to see what's actually going on So one of the ways that I think you can develop clarity and courage So I have a meditation practice my meditation practice allows me to see my thought patterns arising Before they distort my perception and drive my behavior. So you need to develop what I call witness consciousness I think there's three types. Excuse me of consciousness. They're useful. There's witness consciousness We develop the ability to see your patterns. You can look at your patterns rather than looking through them I do a lot of change work with people and I can change a little piece of behavior I can change someone being afraid of talking to women to being able to easily approach That's a piece of behavior But as a change worker and a healer what I'll tell you Anthony's the big changes come When a client or a student is no longer looking through their patterns of thinking and feeling They're looking at them and that we're getting Yeah, they're getting basically headspace on it, right like altitude to see it, right? And that requires the practice of meditation to build witness consciousness. So that I started meditation about a month ago guided meditation I'm experiencing exactly what you're talking about and I'm loving it Yeah, skeptic for many years of meditation and no longer And there's and now here's where science does come in There's a lot of scientific evidence to show that a meditation practice actually changes The structures in the brain so that's where science actually can come in It's something that can measure using measuring instruments It's not something that's a theory that has no way to do an experiment either falsify it or find the truth of it Well speaking of theory and we were talking about red pill a little bit earlier In a lot of ways the current You know bloggers and authors in red pill They see the red pill as an extension or an evolution on the seduction community Which basically they see seduction and pickup as the application of the theory That to them is actually the testing. I don't think that's not the way I teach it to me seduction and pickup or an application of Eric Sony and hypnosis See for me, I don't care. I don't give two hoots in hell About evolutionary psychology of the rest of it. I happen to think evolutionary psychology is soft science at best and pseudo science at worse but We know that the work of Milton Erickson works It's a it's a huge body of work that stood the test of time and it's repeatable and replicable by Ben has been by Therapist all over the world. So I don't need to point to some scientific theory that has no actual testable Proof for something to be scientific. It has to be falsifiable You have to have the ability to do some experiment that could make the hypothesis false And I don't think that's there in evolutionary psychology evolutionary psychology Primarily depends on two things one is surveys self-reporting surveys done by people in Western culture usually undergrad college students and The second thing it does is it tries to extrapolate from animal behavior Human behavior, which is a really really big leap and the third one is it makes guesses about what our Proto-human ancestors did as far as mate selection. The problem is with that is behavior doesn't fossilize We can't see any fossils or records of how they did that we can make guesses but for all we know people lived in small clans and There couldn't be room for sexual jealousy guys had to share women and they all took care of their children together We the answer is we don't know and more importantly in terms of science. We can't tell there's no Short of inventing a time machine to observe it. We can't tell so I have no problem with evolution Evolutions is science that question that argument is done. It's over Evolutionary psychology. I've got problems with and I so I don't think red pill arose from the seduction community and is based on what's in the seduction community now That's not to say red pill doesn't have a lot of validity to it Especially when it gets into the fucked-up way men are treated and I'm all with them that also gets into men's rights meant the men's rights movement I Distinct those are two distinct movements, but the red pill definitely they look at that and They don't disagree like yeah, man. I'm getting absolutely fucked over in the manner getting sucked over and the biggest way Men are getting fucked over is number one They're shamed around this topic if I do it if I did an event for women how to meet the man you want and and Controlling with a velvet club or whatever it is, which I'd never do women would bring their girlfriend rose There'd be no shame attached But men are shamed for wanting to learn this So it's assumed that we should just have these skills and we're shamed by our fellow man Not just by women. We're shamed by other guys If the second way guys are getting fucked over is they're Unintentioned I think getting fucked over by the pickup community because there's so much confusion I say to do one thing mystery says to do another thing someone else says that the caveman school of thrower over the shoulder Calm says another thing. So there's that kind of confusion There's also the fact that you know women are responsive to a lot of different things so a lot of different things If you try them out will work or at least appear to work So fitness is in a way very similar muscle is very plastic. So it's response to almost anything And this leads to on the internet massive confusion of just random bullshit people put up, right, right Yeah, and at the convention we integrate these things right we integrate well fitness speakers at this event he'll be talking I think you'll enjoy the talks quite a bit because you'll see a lot of the same similarities and You know criticisms they'll make of other people in their industry So right well when it comes to exercise and fitness whenever I feel the need to exercise I lay down immediately until it goes away You'll you'll still enjoy the talks I love meeting people who are excellent in their field and can teach you something yeah as opinionated as I am the The words let me teach you something are sacred as well as the words. I don't know to me Yeah, being willing to say I don't know is the sign of a mature and adult mind because there's so much in life We don't know we'd like to think we know Yeah, but we don't but whenever you do think you know you'll eventually get knocked on your ass and find out You didn't know and there's still so much more to know about you know some specific component of life I'm still studying what I do. I've been at this since 1988. I'm still passionate about it I'm still going at it and I know there's room to prove there's room to improve as a teacher And this is where if there's anyone out there who's a healer who's listening to this one piece of advice I'll give you if you do therapeutic work with people is don't get stuck on one modality Don't get stuck on nlp. Don't get stuck on hypnosis. I also draw from cognitive behavioral therapy and I'll draw from Meditation and mindfulness. I'll do virtually anything if I could do backflips and Fart the star spangled banner and that would get a student result. I do that Hey, I just curious I just spotted this in the background. Is that uh, Is that a poster is that tom cruise on there? Is that that is? Yeah, that is that's tom cruise. It was a article written about me from a magazine in portugal They never even interviewed me. Yeah, tom cruise did a character loosely based on me in the movie magnolia Which brought me Yep, yeah, that's badass. I haven't seen in a while, but I saw years ago. I love that movie. It was great respect the cock contain the cunt I never said It was a hilarious movie So here's a question from the live chat Um, how do this is a very simple very broad question, but I'd love to hear take on it How to avoid being manipulated by women How to avoid being manipulated By women I think all of you well plural well All people manipulate people can't not manipulate men manipulate women manipulate So the real question is destructive manipulation. How do you avoid being like my girlfriend manipulates parts of my body to feel really nice So let's define First we have to define what he means by manipulation What does he mean does he mean that the woman is playing on his emotions to make him feel needy? So he'll behave the way she She wants him to behave. It's an ill-defined term So I don't know if you could throw it back on him and ask him what he means by manipulation But here's what I'll say You have to know what your values are you have to know What you stand for and what you won't stand for And if something is thrown at you and it just doesn't feel right if it feels like it's going to put you in a position of being Submissive or a position of doing something that just clashes with what you really want Then you need like violates your uh your boundaries. Yeah, but I think the real manipulation is done by guys themselves Particularly nice guys. They keep their mouth shut and they suppress their sexuality One of the core attitudes I have is speaking my truth is more important to me than getting into your pants Oh, yeah Yeah, that's core value. So you've got to find out what your values are and live up to them And anyone who's trying to but look humans manipulate. It's not a gender specific thing Humans manipulate we develop a theory of mind around the age of three three and a half Where we can guess what the other person is thinking forgive me. I'm shifting a bit of my chair And it's a little So it's the best answer I can give him absent a clear definition of what he means by manipulate I would he didn't clarify as of yet. He's definitely going to hear this in about 30 seconds There's like a 30 second delay Um, I would assume though based on his question that he meant in some negative way To his life and his values some some sort of destructive manipulation Unlike a girl, you know getting in your pants and manipulating one of the things I would say is take the lead You make sure if someone's going to manipulate think of it as influence You take the lead and make sure you're the one doing the influence If you know how to influence a woman to feel states of desire wonder deep connection Feeling like she's known you your whole life If you can also learn to use hypnosis to give her incredible orgasms She's going to do everything she can to be the one who pleases you then your high status The highest status you can have with a woman is to create states in her where she feels Incredibly connected to you Where she feels free to do any kind of kinky shit when she's around you Etc etc. That's high status Doesn't matter if I'm in a club and I'm trying to play alpha with anyone That's the ultimate alpha and my claim is you can do it with language You don't have to have high social status. You don't have to make a lot of money. You don't have to do any of that Okay I'm looking through the chat here people just keep posting comments Oh tom, uh, so the question actually the guy who asked the manipulated being manipulated by woman question He said, uh, I mean tricking and calculating instead of deep connection So yeah, he meant in a very in a way where he's being deceived somehow some sort of deception What you have to do then is to be aware of what those typical tricks and deceptions are Yeah, what are the typical tricks and deceptions? I can talk about a few early on like if she says give me your number Right and now my answer I've teaching my students to say, you know, I like to do that But I only give out my number to women who prove to me for at least five minutes at the really good kissers. Come here That's good Break the pattern and show balls do what we call in nlp a pattern interrupt Well, you mentioned so speaking of taking the lead earlier. You wanted to talk about uh, direct versus indirect So mister, I think popularized going indirect Playing games. Yeah, you know, I didn't mention to me. It's about being effective versus ineffective as opposed to direct or interact Or indirect, excuse me What is effective pickup? Right now. I think there's a way of being direct without being needy When you go up to a woman and say Excuse me. I saw you here and I owe you a giant apology My mother taught me it's rude to stare and when I saw you I've not been able to take my eyes off you That's really strong if you come in strong and not needy And you state what it is you want And you're clever and humorous then you're showing vulnerability Strength and a sense of fun and a sense of humor. You're hitting her with three very attractive vibes right away And also you're also doing what I call an implied compliment. Here's what you're not saying You're not saying when I saw you here. You're so knockout gorgeous. I couldn't take my eyes off you You're not directly saying why you couldn't take your eyes off her you're implying it And whatever you get a person to think for themselves will be perceived by them as being their own thought Therefore they won't resist it. So you do what I call an implied compliment If you put in the compliment directly Then it wouldn't work. So you can be direct without directly complimenting So I think the direct approach can work. I also teach guys how to use what I call a put on And then own the put but I don't want to give away the whole story So I think the key to being direct is the way you do it The tone of voice you use The pausing that you use if I went up and say, excuse me. I owe you a big apology My mother said it was rude to stare when I saw you I couldn't take my eyes off you My name is Ross That's like you're rushing because you're waiting for the slap in the face That's that's the wrong kind of speed seduction, right? right Right, you've got that's very clever and very funny So you've got to do it with the right pacing and the right finale and the right attitude My attitude is I'm going to go have fun play with that person I don't give a fuck one way or the other Even if I don't get her I have another chance to sharpen my skills And I also know this I know that I never take a woman's first response to me is written in stone It's usually a reflection of what she's thinking feeling believing in that moment. It's often a pattern that I can break So what also makes it work is my attitude and my belief if you don't have the right attitude and the right belief the right tenality Then nothing's going to work direct or indirect Well, because all these things properly are taken to lead psychologically, right? And that's what a lot of this seems to be doing now to be fair I don't work clubs or bars. I'm an old fart and I don't like the noise and I don't like drunk people So in that context mystery indeed may be correct In that context, I'm sure you probably is correct But I'm not talking about that context because my client base tends to be In their 30s and up Excuse me, and they don't tend to go to bars and clubs Hmm. Well, this actually let's pause for a second. Something I was thinking about a minute ago. Um, based on what you were saying You know, you've been teaching since 1988 How has your teaching evolved over time as you continue to learn to this day? Far less angry. I've really dropped the anger and the misogyny and The hatred and I think that's largely due to my meditation practice Can I do one thing? I'm sorry. It's boiling hot in here. Is it okay if I open a window? Can we take a very brief pause for me? But yeah, absolutely. Yeah, go ahead. I'll read over some of the comments here and questions Quick window break guys. I'll read over your questions. You may post thing. I have it off to my side screen here So when he gets back I was actually asking him about how you guys can learn from him Although one of the best ways will be meeting him this year in Orlando, florida at the 21 convention Uh, ross, I see that you're back, but I don't hear you Uh, so no one's hearing you right now Uh, somehow it's still not getting picked up Okay, you can hear me now, right? Yep, let's see what happens when I can can you hear me? Yes. Yep. You're back. Yep 100% What's going on with my equipment? Yeah, so, uh, we have a few questions guys are asking two different guys Um, one guy seems to be from the united states and other guys from europe They're asking how they can work with you how they can attend your classes Things like that. Well, there's a link by the way. Yeah under this video for them. Yeah, here's the thing The thing is is I've expanded my teaching into doing Some very high powered training for people in the real estate field People have a lot of money in their pockets So my calendar is tight where I only work with high net worth individuals and I'm sorry about that I would if I had millions and millions and millions of bucks. I'd give away my work for free I can't do that. I only have limited time. So if you're a high net worth individual Here's how you can get an application to work with me and the processes you fill out the application I will hand review every one And then if I like it we can schedule a discovery session bear in mind That still doesn't guarantee I'll work with you because I only work with people. I know who will get it So go to consult raw stock Excuse me. Go to seduction.com slash apply That seduction.com slash apply And that's how you do it, but you got to be a high net worth individual And I prefer to work with people who already have a crushing attitude in some area of their life If it's not with women, I understand but at least in your own business or career So that's just how it goes Um, you also have a free video course though, right that should be at seduction.com slash free seduction.com slash free if you're on the low end I don't mean this in a personal but if you're on the low Lower end of the income scale or just want a freebie go to seduction.com slash free Yeah, and hey guys the link for that so you can type that where the link is actually Underneath this video in the description. I think it's like the first link. I should see you right under there. Yeah So check it out Um, okay Let's so something you mentioned earlier that you wanted to talk about I don't know if you've covered it uh in depth as of yet or as much as you wanted to You mentioned altering states and women. Yes This is okay. So Here is what I know That language can structure consciousness and it can shape decisions. It can drive behavior So one of my approaches that's different is I teach my students instead of First thinking about the behaviors that you want from a woman like how can I get the kiss? How can I get a blowjob? Etc. Etc. How can I get laid? I teach them to say okay What are the emotional states? I want that woman in How can I get her to link them to me? And what I know Is that when you talk about certain themes and certain subjects, they're more likely to awaken those aspects of a woman's imagination That contain those kind of emotions for example If I had a factual conversation if I said where did you go on vacation? What did it cost you? What did you see? But if I say, you know, I was talking to someone the other day about what it's like when you Step out of the familiar and you go on vacation and you see something really beautiful What are those moments that take your breath away and suddenly You see this beauty in front of you look at the world with a different set of eyes I remember going and then what I would do is describe an actual experience and I would embed commands about feeling wonder Feeling like you want to let go you want to go for this your mind moves in a new direction And so I would listen to her feedback if I heard her say yeah, I went there and blah blah blah blah blah I would watch for responses from her. They're useful. I'd watch for her getting really fascinated I'd watch her her it's starting to get a little bit aroused you learn to calibrate and look at these signals Then I can anchor those responses to me So knowing what things to talk about knowing how to get a woman talking about the right things Can install those states of consciousness and then she begins to look at you Through those states. Let me let me back up a minute Doesn't it make sense to you that if a woman is looking at you through feelings of desire and feelings of permission to let go and feelings of Being willing to surrender if she's looking at you and responding to you through those states Doesn't it make more sense that she's likely to want to jump your bones than if she's in a different sort of state? Does that make sense now the idea the idea that language can create and move emotions is not new with me It's the basis of poetry Theater, I'm not trying to be funny here storytelling and oral tradition No pun intended. I don't mean a pun. So we know for a fact that language construct your consciousness and create emotional states here's one little It's a generalization and it's only a metaphor But women tend to look at us Through the feelings they feel for us Women look at us through the feelings they feel for us So instead of thinking of the behavior first think how can I create those feelings now? One school will say will you do it by demonstrating higher value By being an alpha male, etc. Etc. Etc. And my statement is you don't need to do that I have tens of thousands of students who I assure you are not traditional alpha males Who don't make a lot of money who don't have high status who are actually getting women to buy things for them I know this to be the case so I have to look and say okay if you want to say you have to be an alpha male and have high social status fine My experience with tens of thousands of students is it's not so I'm not saying it wouldn't be Unuseful, but you don't need it and a lot of here's a here's a question that comes to mind when you mention all this That women experience men through their emotions for them. Is this a difference between the sexes? Is this how we experience women or is it different? I think I think we also tend to do Both, but I think we tend to do it later On in the connection later on in the quote real hate shunship it Do you understand initially our attraction is to what women look like This is a generalization. I know i'm over generalizing when i'm over generalizing I plead guilty to it in advance So people don't need to call me out on it We're talking about billions of men. So it's uh, usually usually we talk about that many people times it comes with the territory So i'm not not holding it against you. Yeah, that's why Yep Um, sorry if the took you off track. It's what you're talking about before, but I just really came to mind It's a big uh, big issue. I think to look no no no no and the other thing is here's the other thing Since you talked about emotion. Let me let me just say this Here's what I think and again, it's a generalization. It's only a map. It's not scientifically true improvement It's an observation that if you treat it as true We'll tend to bring you the predictive behavior that it predicts I think men and women are equally emotional. Here's the difference when we're angry We're angry when we're horny. We're horny when we're sad. We're sad when we're confused. We're confused Women have emotions about their emotions. So a woman could be turned on but she could have You're laughing, but that's the laugh of recognition. Is it not? Oh, totally. Yeah Yeah, it's it's like an emotional inception What we call meta states in nlp, they have thinking about their thinking They have feeling about their feelings. So a woman could be turned on but she could be feeling Caution about her being turned on she could be feeling it's on about her being turned on She could be feeling shame about her caution about it's on So women go in these emotional loops now if you're not trained to see this you may think it's A bit shield or last minute resistance when in fact she just needs to run through her emotional loop Stay cool let her loop a little bit and then go back and test again This is a really big deal. I think a lot of what appears to be shit testing It's just women having emotions that are refracting on other emotions This is yeah, this is my observation Yeah in red pill in red pill theory, this would be a hypergamous doubt So they have feelings of doubt about the choice they're making and they want to confirm them and then They test I think they have feelings of not necessarily feelings of doubt. They could have feelings of curiosity. Yeah, yeah Not necessarily doubt. I'm not saying they don't doubt. I'm saying they could have a whole range of states They can feel curiosity. They could feel excitement. They could feel all sorts of things About the last emotion they were Ruminating on dwelling on so that's I think one of the huge differences between men and women And also are their literature sucks romance novels. Did you know that the biggest selling genre Of books is romance novels I'm not surprised. I know that uh 50 shades of gray. I think it's the most popular selling book in the world right now That's taken uh in sweden The old ladies have a form of romance novel that's geared to old ladies. They call it top the snooze Translates as auntie's dirt, but it literally but the what it means That's a little translation. But what it means is dirty old lady porn Nice nice. I was not aware of that that that's new to me. Well, there you go. I just I've Dated some sweetest girls. One was 30 years younger than me. That was quite a thrill Okay, uh someone had a quick question. They asked you um, how much money I guess is your I don't know if you're gonna answer that live But how much money is your coaching? They want to use it for trading on the forex market I absolutely I absolutely can do that But I again, uh, that's something we have to talk about. I have to see what the commitment is So again, go to seduction.com slash apply Now if you're interested in a business application If you want to figure out how we can help you in business go to consult ross.com slash apply Okay, that's Yeah, you even mentioned that speaking at the 21 convention this year that um, you're not necessarily going to be talking Like you mentioned that the talk title might be like the radical art of unfucking yourself Yeah, I think how to get how to get out of your own way align yourself with your purpose and Crush your goals Something like that. So this wouldn't this wouldn't necessarily have to deal directly with seduction. It might be a lot more broad than that is what you're saying No, it's a lot broader. I think people are constantly stepping in their own path Tripping over their own two laces stepping on their dick pick a metaphor that works for you Stepping on your dick. That's I haven't that's a new one. That's a good one. I like that one It's hard for me not to step on my dick. Ah Okay, some more questions we got uh, I love this is great Someone asked what's your method to overcome approach anxiety? I know you mentioned this a little bit earlier Can you expand on I don't think there is there's no such thing as approach anxiety There's only that there's only that Neurological friction. So I don't get approach anxiety for me My attitude first of all is this is going to be fun. Let's fuck with the other person and see how they respond Second I have an attitude that says And here's the difference between naturals and people who are struggling My attitude is I'm interested in the woman. I'm invested in my skills I'm interested in the woman. I'm invested in my skills That's like saying what in a breakfast of bacon and eggs the pig is invested the chicken is interested Do you follow? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I have I have that attitude and ultimately I have what I call compassion confidence And here's what I mean by that. I know that Well, I'll ask you Think of a woman who you desire who you want to be with what was she wearing the minute she was born Not a trick. Nothing. What were you wearing the minute you were born? As far as I know nothing Blood blood and whatever else there one day something's gonna happen to her guaranteed She's gonna die one day. You're gonna die We're subjected to the same forces of gravity the same atmospheric pressures life the buddhist teaching is life contains Suffering it's not all suffering, but it contains suffering. So ultimately We're in the same boat the only difference is she has different plumbing that you want to get a hold of So ultimately if you can see people through the light of compassion and have them Let them have their same a radical response. You know, let me do it this way One day this is years and years ago. I was hanging out with a student We went to a restaurant called beachwood beachwood is no longer there, but it had a patio area It had a bar They had a patio area And we hung out to like midnight and then we were waiting for a cab. This was before uber There's a beautiful young woman waiting for a cab and I said, oh, look, there's a young lady Waiting for a cab for some reason it went in the wrong way and she looked there's a dirty old Fuck trying to get his freak on now. She was right But my student got really mad and he went to lunge at her. I said, no, no We respond she can respond. However, she wants we choose where we come from Somewhere she's someone's daughter. She's someone's sister She's someone's best friend and then I turned to her and I said somewhere She's deeply loved And she burst into tears and she hugged me and she said, oh, that's the most beautiful thing guys have been Takes to me all night What's your name? And I said, mr. Wonderful and the cab pulled up and we jumped in Now the fact of the matter is is I gave her that permission to have her first response Because I know it wasn't about me and even if it was about me I could change it But here's the thing what I said about her being someone's sister Someone's best friend someone's daughter is true That's true. So when you have that compassion confidence You know that ultimately that person Is in the same boat as you are. I'm not saying they won't frustrate you or Or there may not be some fear there. I'm saying if you can begin to see people in that light Then the need to fear them or to hate them sort of Diminishes over the years takes time Sort of where wears away and that's one of the big differences is I've lost the hate and the misogyny and Tremendous rage I had when I wrote my first book now I understand that there's pain in the community and the people listening to this and it's by no means my intent to shame anyone For feeling what they're feeling. I'm simply saying that ultimately that'll cloud your judgment. It's to your advantage to give up these Spiritual poisons of resentment and the despair demanding results right away self punishment Desire to punish others ultimately it will get in your own way Yeah, there's an old saying I like that revenge is like a cyanide pill for uh, both parties I agree with that. I agree with that. I certainly agree with that Um, someone actually uh speaking of nlp and uh things along this line He asked what what do you think of psycho cybernetics in comparison with nlp? I love that book It's funny. I was having a discussion with the student Maybe five six weeks ago. I think that book psycho cybernetics was published in 1961 I think 1960 was way ahead of its time. He almost discovered nlp He almost did it's far superior to thinking rich and all these other books. I love that book I need to give it a reread. I reread it every every few years. I love that book. It's fantastic I strongly recommend that book to anybody and everybody Okay I think you sufficiently uh hit that nailed that question on the head for what he was looking for Um, another question from antony demov Recently, I get women approaching me a lot In the last year or so. I have not been hitting on them recently. What am I doing right? Uh, silly question. I know but is there an nlp like He could have changed his attitude Something could have shifted is what he beliefs about himself He could have had a transformational experience with a woman who just bade who I have a horn honking. Can you hear it? Uh, yeah, but it's gone now. It's gone. He could have had some transformational experience with a woman Who totally changed his view of himself. He could have improved his health I don't know. He could have started winning in another area of Of his life. I can't talk to him if he were someone I was coaching I would narrow in on that within like 10 minutes and and we'd be able to exploit it But I can't tell it's not in front of me Yeah, in a minute, he might be able to provide a little more commentary on that. Okay, sure. Um, thanks. Thanks for answering it though Sure, my pleasure. I love this Yeah, it's fun taking a lot of questions like this um Here we go, uh from michael evan evilly Hi ross. How did you find first find yourself learning hypnosis? I've been studying the meta model Have you uh, do you have means in installing the use of linguistics naturally? He's asking now now we're getting into some complex and brilliant questions How did I get into hypnosis? I believe that's the first part of the question Yeah, first part of the question is how did you find yourself learning hypnosis? I got into it banler and grinder Model milton erickson. He's the father of modern hypnotherapy. I thought wow. This is really great stuff if I if I Look at what they call the milton model in nlp, which is the model of how erickson needs language I could really improve because I suffered from tremendous quote Low self-esteem, although I don't think it's a thing and anxiety and depression I thought this could really help me and sure enough it did But I also saw the applications for persuasion that I can use this To persuade women to get them into these hypnotic states and I found it in a book called transformations Trans hyphen formations by banler and grinder That's where I first got into it and then I got a hold of every book i'm milton erickson. I could get So that's the first question. What's the second part of the question anthony? The second part of the question was do you have means of installing the use of linguistics naturally? It means other people I think that's what he means No, you have to practice, you know this stuff about installation in nlp is a lot of horse hockey It's a load of bullshit. Now you can do Installation of some unconscious attitudes. I know how to do that quite skillfully. I do it by telling Metaphors and stories. I do it through demonstration. I do it through doing Transinductions with my audience you can install attitudes, but even then it's just a start people have to practice You absolutely in my experience Cannot install skill. That's bullshit. I call richard banler out on that It's if I could install my skills in people open up the top of their head connected in like the matrix I charge a hundred thousand dollars An hour at the very least okay fair enough What other nlp books do you recommend? I recommend frogs into princes. That's also one of the first books written by bambler and gender I strongly recommend that book. Let's see. What else would I recommend? On nlp There's a very advanced book. It's not a beginner's book It's called mind lines. It's a book about using nlp linguist nlp patterns for doing persuasion It's an extremely advanced book and a difficult read But if you're already into nlp and you have training I recommend that you get that book and oddly enough a book. I recommend that is not about nlp But is a book about how language creates reality tunnels is one of my favorite books. It's called Prometheus rising by robert anton wilson I Yeah, I tell all my students. I can't make my students do things. I'm not their daddy or mommy But I strongly recommend everyone get a hold of the book prometheus rising And then I want to plug my niece's book. My niece just came out with a book called captivate Okay, and her name is venessa van edwards. That's a book about how to read people's Micro expressions and how to work a room And how to tell people's different personalities and how to address your Communication that based on these personality types, etc, etc So i'm going to plug my niece the book is called captivate Cool, we'll put a link to it after the show's over in the description so they can go check it out Yeah, there you go. I need to plug me for it. She kicks ass. I'm very proud of my whole family Someone says they know her They know venessa Through her work. He means probably through her work. He couldn't personally work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's quite famous getting more So she's kicking her old uncle in the ass So here's another question. Um, this one's from a guy named ghost What do you think about the mires briggs type indicator for personality types? It's one kind of test again. It is a map It is a map. It is a way of reading people It's not Scientifically true But it's a map if all these maps were totally scientifically true. You only have one map You only have one theory of relativity. You only have One newton's laws for motion. You don't have a bunch of them So they're useful maps use them As maps but don't take them as literal truth with the capital T Again, as I said at the beginning of my Discussion with you what i'm teaching is not true with the capital T. It's my map of how things work It it is absolutely incomplete It's subject to change. I'm sure parts of it are just incorrect or based on my own biases And prejudices as a 58 year old fart Who just doesn't do some things that the younger people do? And I would even say if you're a really young dude That I may not be the best feature for you. I'm I'm I'm willing to come right out and say who my audience is and who I want to work with okay Well speaking of young men Give even you know given what you just said um What do you think young men in their 20s should be studying right now to improve this part of the life? They should They should damn well study how to make good decisions Okay, how do you make good decisions? How do you do some scientific clear rational thinking? Absolutely, there are books you can get on that. You should also take up a practice of meditation even if you do 10 minutes a day Learn early on to develop that witness conscious muscle I would also say I not that I do the next part of what i'm doing develop a fitness regimen I work out maybe every other day. I'll go and run and list some weights, but not a hell of a lot And I work out once once a week. So wow. Well, you're much younger than I am. How old are you 1988? That means you're 28 28 yeah All right, you're a young dude and I would really take a good hard look At who really runs the country? I would really start to Think critically and reject the traditional models of who's running the show Uh, I can't suggest any specific books but I would just say I've learned a lot about how things work and they don't work the way we're traditionally told I would really Yeah, go ahead. Would you suggest would you suggest the young men kind of reject Kind of cable tv news and look on the internet. I mean for just as a starter I suggest men read read fucking books Read books. I don't mean on your freaking device. I mean read a fucking book Yeah, yeah, I'm a huge fan of print books. I'm right. I'm right there with you on that. Yeah, as long as I am I don't I hate reading books on e-readers. Good. Good for you Uh, here's the question sort of what do you think about robert greens books? 48 laws of power of the artist seduction mastery. I'm not a fan of artists. I'm not a fan of the artist seduction I thought it's doc. It doesn't give you any practical real tips that will work in the real world I told him so too. I told him I didn't like his book That was a mistake. Oh, you guys have met. Yeah, I met him once. I don't remember the context I don't remember where where it was or even exactly when it was Okay, are you familiar with his other works the 48 laws of power? I'm not I'm not I'm not uh, someone suggested that the reptilians are in this country I don't know You know what have a look at a magazine like this. Can you read that title skeptic? Yeah Just have a look at a few issues of that learn to think critically learn to think Learn to think and ask questions like how do we know that's true or the terms well defined Is there any other explanation that fits better? Learn to think in a critical way and challenge the ideas there have been like I heard this one the other day I was having discussion with someone. I'm gonna I did a Recording for his Bella summit. He said well, we know That 90 percent of communication is non-verbal. I said stop Let's take that statement apart. First of all, how do you measure? percentages of communication in what units of measurement As measured by what instrument? And he couldn't come up with an answer. He said well, why does everyone believe it? I said because someone set it And then everyone picked up on it And no one challenged it There's a saying I heard just just about a week ago that I really liked and it was that most words are untrue Including that statement all the words in that statement Yeah, it's it's uh, yeah, so it's it's speak it's addressing this point. Um, in a little bit different way but Um, yeah, I love what you're saying though for young people to think right I mean, there's other speakers echo this as well think critically, you know Look at biases. There's a book when it comes I used to be I have to confess I used to love Well, I'm still a student in military history There's a book you should get it's a very left-wing book, but it's true for what it talks about. It's called war is a racket it was written like in the 30s or 40s by a marine general about how war is a load of bullshit and what interest it actually serves Uh, I can recommend a couple other books armed madhouse That's a great book about the bush administrations going to war. It's about gulf war two Okay about who who runs the country? I forget who the author is. I know his first name is greg You start to forget shit young man when you're pushing 60 Hey, man, I already feel that my 20s, so Then there's a problem There's a problem there Okay, um Well, we can start wrapping up. Uh, we've known on for well over an hour at this point. Yeah Um, I'm gonna need to use the bathroom at some point as well I need to take my old man. I need to take my old man nap Grab a little lunch And here's what I want to say before I'm sorry. I don't mean to step on you. I've been accused. No, no Go ahead. What I want to say is this Is As you're watching this interview and should you feel yourself moved to rewatch it I'm not sure which parts of what I say will touch home and really Allow you to stop And think to yourself You know ross is a great teacher. I want to learn more But as that's happening, I think the best way to do that is get your ass to 21 convention Never before have they had me the living legend the myth made flesh Ross jeffreys. I promise to deliver big time So there should be a link right down there to buy your ticket, correct? There is correct. Yes And as you find yourself buying your ticket Just understand for all your own reasons that you never have to reveal to me that it's an amazing choice to make right now I completely agree. Um, I've I've poured my heart and soul in my life into building this company's events Been 10 years Dude 10 years you were almost 11. Almost 11. You were 18 when you started this 17. Yeah, 17. Holy frickin for holies. I salute you sir. That's no basket. That's for real Thank you. Yeah, I've grown up studying Not so much your work, but being very familiar with it. I've kind of grew up with you And watching everyone kind of evolve as a teacher in this industry I mean you were teaching for decades by the time I started my company, but Yeah, it's it's been awesome. And I'm looking forward to having you. Yeah, I'm looking forward to being there I'm looking forward to your role. I may come out, huh? I'm looking forward to you and rollo meeting. Uh two different godfathers and two different movements I'm not throwing shit on the guy. The guy is brilliant. The guy is a genius an independent thinker an original thinker And he's he's amazing. We disagree on evolutionary psychology I don't disagree on what he's the the practicality of what he's teaching. Do you understand? Follow what he's teaching The print I'm an old guy. So the print I had to wear these when I read the book You know the print rollo if you're watching love the book. It's genius I recommend it to all my students, but the print dude the print You know, I have to use these so I heard he's coming out with a new edition of it where the print is larger Yeah, that's actually the biggest change is the print is bigger specifically. You're not you're not the only one who felt this way Thank you. Otherwise, it's it's it's a great work. And I think everyone should grab it if they haven't If you don't you're a fool Yeah, well damn, I appreciate your time coming on today and I'm looking forward to having you be that man I'm really excited to have you and I think it's going to be fucking badass my radical art of unfucking yourself I hope I hope you keep the title. I think that'll Probably well And again, if uh, you're a high net worth individual you want to consult with me on your On your pickup and seduction. It's seduction.com slash apply You want to consult with me for any other application like business? It's consult Ross.com slash apply Okay, Ross. Thanks for talking man. Hey, thank you for the honor of addressing the crowd I really appreciate it and particularly for the chance to get some exposure to people who Haven't yet heard of me up until this moment. Yeah, man. Well, let me get your speech out Yeah, many thousand 10 to thousands probably hundreds of thousands. We'll see it maybe millions So you wouldn't be the first Hey, it's great title and I'm famous All right. Hey Ross, uh, stay on the call. I'm gonna close on the live stream All right, everyone else. Thanks for watching and tuning in make sure you get tickets To the 21 convention this year 10 year anniversary Right underneath this video in the description and also check out seduction.com slash free for Ross's free video course Ross. Thanks for coming on everyone else. See you later