 So there's something about us thinking that we are unique and there's part of that which is good, which is healthy to feel as an individual who has unique qualities so you can have unique meaning in your life. But that has a dark side too. If we think that we are completely and are unique, we also start to think that our problems are unique, which is not true at all. But hear me out. For example, there's this very strange story which I just figured out recently. Personally when I set up my music, when I put on, when there's numbers, you know, there's the volume, 1, 2, 3, 4, etc., there are certain numbers which for some reason I don't want to put on, I don't want to set them in that way because there's a part of me is convinced that if I put that specific number something bad is going to happen and most of the times I fight it through, you know, I just don't mind it, but that sensation is there. And normally when I look at it, it really feels like, oh my god, I'm so weird, you know, this is so strange. For example, when I'm playing chess or checkers, for some reason I always want to put checkers on the middle. If it's not in the middle, I just have to do it. And normally, you know, this is called compulsive behavior, but as I said, having this strange unique experience which nobody else told me about, I started to feel ashamed about that too. I don't share it because it feels like, this is just so weird, people won't understand me and they're going to think I'm crazy, I'm going to tell them that that is there. But it is there. And just a couple of days ago I was having a meeting with my students and I was telling about them that notion of that we're all on the same boat that we're going to talk about. And I said, so as an example, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I tell the story about the numbers and we were just, at that meeting, we were just free, you know, me and a couple of my students. And one of the students just had the eyes like bam, just opened up and full of surprise and I said, well, you're not having the same experience, are you? And I was just starting to tell the story. And she said, well, I think I did, I said, no, no, it can't be the same, you know, it's just too weird. And I said the rest of the story and pretty much she has almost exactly the same thing. And so now imagine the funny side of the story that there's three of us sitting on the table and two of us are having this weird habit, which is barely explainable. I'm sure there's an explanation, but it's not, you know, it's not. We people don't talk so much about it. And we both have the exact same thing, you know, out of so many people, two of us are at the same table. So we could, you know, be crazy and think, oh, it's just two of us in the whole world and just, you know, destiny brought us together. But no, what it means is that most of us have that. And I'm pretty sure some of you who are watching this video are having this same thing too. And as you're watching, you're thinking, oh my God, let me know in the comments if you do. But then why I find this fascinating is the part of where we're hiding it and thinking that we are so strange, we're so uniquely strange and we started feeling embarrassed and ashamed about that. Although in reality, there's so much more people who have the same. And this is, you know, a weird point, but it applies to other points as well. You know, we all have those weird moments. We all have these small bits and pieces. And my weirdnesses might not be exactly your weirdnesses. But I can bet you, you know, $100 that you have a specific weirdness that you think is unique to you and you feel bad about it. But so many people have it too. Although the problem that we come to hear is that we don't really share so much. This is, you know, one of the modern world problems that we're still facing that we haven't solved this. We don't share so much, you know. We share things we are considering to be safe. We share things which we know others will say, oh, this is great. Oh, yes, this is good. You know, I do too and et cetera, et cetera. Things we see in movies or the things we just, you know, hear from early on. But there are certain things which are actually a key part of our experience, which we feel very intimate with, but actually everyone has it. But we don't talk about those things. We don't really share all of our sides, which is understandable. It's not like I'm saying to do it with everyone. But since we're holding so much back, since we're sharing only the safe things, only the happy things, we start to feel separate. You know, the uniqueness of our experience turns around as turns against us. Because when you look at Facebook, for example, it's the dark side of Facebook, every, most of the people are not considering emo, emo kids, but mostly people, you know, share wonderful pictures of their wonderful experiences, travels when they're happy and smiling and the TV is a lot about smiling to commercials. And when you look at all your friends traveling and doing this, hanging out with their girlfriend, boyfriend, you start to think, they live such an amazing life and, you know, my life sucks compared to them. But no one's life is completely amazing. Everyone has their crap, everyone has their bad experiences, but since we don't share those bad experiences so much that we're not open about them, you know, especially for guys, you know, if you have trouble in bed with your girlfriend, 99% of the guys won't talk about that with their friends. And then everyone thinks, oh, you know, this trouble in bed, I'm the only one who has it. For women, it's a bit different in this part, but in general, it's the same experience of us keeping a lot of things for ourselves, not sharing and then ending up thinking that we are specifically weird, we are specifically wrong, we are specifically bad, yada, yada, yada, that, you know, that our bad sides are personal and unique and we're the only ones like that. On a higher level, it goes to a sense of purpose. A lot of us feel a lack of purpose and that's something I'm very passionate about solving and I think we can't solve it. But the fact is that so many people feel without a purpose and we don't share that notion, we don't share our discoveries about it, we don't share that feeling, most of the people think, I'm the only one, I'm the only one who feels without a purpose and it's a dark place to be in, it's a very sad place and it's normal. Most of the people feel that way. And the beauty of this is that when you realize that your experience, your dark sides, your demons, your weirdnesses, as much as aspirations and inspirations are universal, that we're all having this one big universal human experience, when you realize that suddenly there's this huge boulder coming down of your shoulders. Suddenly you realize, you know what, I'm not so bad. Everyone is struggling with these things and it's normal, I don't need to be ashamed of it. And already now a doorway opens up to connect with other people and talk about it and suddenly the process is easier to solve since we're in this together way, in this same boat. And when you recognize that and you admit that it's a universal experience, also the sense of being ashamed, the sense of needing it to hide or feel bad about that disappears too, which is actually a huge rock that we always pull forward. And it doesn't mean we don't have to solve our darknesses. It doesn't mean that we don't have to transform our demons, we do. But when we feel bad about them, when you feel that we are the only ones having it, then that sense of feeling bad takes most of the space and there's no more space for changing it, for doing anything about it. When you realize it's a common human experience, you let it go more easily and you realize, you know what? Everyone has it, you can start solving it. I'm not weird, I'm normal. It's just that I need to do something about it, I need to change it. And of course I do need to say there's certain bad tendencies or destructive tendencies. We have to be very conscious about that and careful. It's not this what I'm talking about shouldn't be made into an excuse. Everybody wants to kill someone, everybody wants to kick a cat. I have to admit everyone has those thoughts sometimes, but it doesn't mean you have to act upon them. There's a certain line, but to come back to the bright side of this, to the light side, we're all on the same boat. And the beauty of it is that if you solve what's on your end of the boat, then it's a universal experience too. The answer is universal. If you find an answer to a problem you have, if you're able to solve it, transform it, then you can help others. Then suddenly your life has that meaning that we were looking for. It's really quite special. Summarize it up. Our experience is universal. We're all on the same boat. We all have the same crap, and we don't have to be ashamed of it. There's a certain line we have to be conscious about, but we have to remember that whatever I'm experiencing, others are experiencing too, and I can deal with it. We can all deal with it together. And if I will deal with it, it's going to help others too. As always, there's a lot more we could speak about here, but there's still going to be plenty of videos. There's some videos already. My name is Rokas, and I'm glad you sticked through the whole video. Let me know what you think. If you want to share your weaknesses, if you want to share what you consider to be unique to you, and you want to discover that it's not so unique, that there's a bunch of other people who have it, let me know in the comments. I'm always thrilled to see them and to answer them. Again, check other videos to subscribe, and I'll see you again. All a part of this, we're all in the same boat, but so often we forget that. So often we feel like life is just about me. So often we feel that I need to take care of myself first before I take care of others.