 I'm fed up. So let me just talk for a second. I don't think the church talks enough about sexuality or sex. We talk a lot about LGBTQ issues and we get in the weeds on that kind of thing and even for me It's like that's something that oh, I'm gonna talk about on my YouTube channel But why don't we talk about more the fact that we are Created sexual beings like that is a intrinsic part of how God designed us I think this plays in so closely with purity culture and if you guys didn't grow up in purity culture And you're not really sure what that is to me I can summarize it as just the legalistic approach to sexuality. So it's really a fearful Just a scared like we don't want to do something wrong We don't want to make a mistake. So let's just tell people that sexuality is kind of bad and stay away from it it's dangerous and and just kind of suppress everything sexual and Or any kind of conversation around anything sexual until you're married and then you can figure it out And I just think that's been that at least in my life personally But I've heard from other people as well that have experienced the same thing It's just so harmful because it's it's intrinsic to how God designed us. He designed us as sexual beings And yet we don't talk about that. Okay. Well, what why don't we I think number one because Within the church, we don't know how to like we're like, okay I got to talk about sexuality or having these, you know feelings, but it's like, I don't know is the Bible okay with this I'm not sure So that's why we need to get a little bit of grounding in the word of God. Yes Sexuality sexual expression is supposed to be reserved for the covenantal relationship in marriage. Absolutely The challenges is that in our modern day We're experiencing so many sexual temptations whether that's Pornography or masturbation or just other kind of sexual You know tendencies whether that's you know homosexuality or same-sex attraction People are experiencing these sexual urges these sexual temptations and yet we're not giving them tools To deal with them and maybe some people are and that's great I'm so thankful for those folks that are doing that and are having those conversations But I'm talking about more widespread Are we having the tough awkward conversations like even about masturbation? I'm like we I've never I've never heard anybody outside of an online context Talk about masturbation I think that's the beauty of the online space is that we're able to have a lot of the conversations that maybe we're too embarrassed about having in person But at the same time if that's it if you're only getting all of your information Online on YouTube on this YouTube video I feel like you're missing out on on a core aspect of what it means to grow with one another and talk about these things And this is a part of who we are You know, I think about you know something like masturbation just talking about that a little bit And how so many people both men and women Struggle with it and yet kind of like really it is only addressed for the guys Very rarely for women and also pornography as well Pornography usage to talk about that for guys all day every day in a lot of ways But it's always kind of it's never real. You know what I'm saying like I Want real conversations? I want real like You know get in the weeds of like what don't just kind of be like, yeah It's not super good or it's not it's bad for you and don't do it and trust God and like just get over it or Whatever else like there are deeper issues here and deeper struggles and and kind of healing that needs to take place But it can't take place if we never talk about it That is something I'm convinced of so instead of me just continuing to rant on and why we don't talk about this Let me just talk about it. I think and for me personally and my sexuality like my struggle to not look with lust and and having kind of a I don't know like maybe a higher sex drive. I'm not even sure a lot of guys will say that and I feel like sometimes They use that as an excuse. I'm like, okay, you know chill on that like it's not an excuse But it's like, okay, this is a real temptation in your life This is a constant battle, right? It really is and so from an early age being exposed to kind of maybe soft-core porn and I became okay with that like I it became kind of a part of a Rhythm of life where I would watch it for a while and then I become convicted then I stopped watching it for six months But then I'd get back into it and I think there was something in me that said Like, you know, hey, at least I'm not looking at that really bad stuff, right? I'm not looking at like, you know Pornhub stuff or looking at like hardcore stuff. It's like this is okay and in so doing what I was doing I was searing my conscience But at the same time I was also getting messages online in the Christian space that were like you gotta not Like be fearful of sexuality right basically and even to the extent of like a hug being sexualized Like this is something should you hug before marriage? Is this something that is okay? And you got to just think about the the trauma that that does to somebody when they're taught That like a hug is sexualized and just like as a like even like a 16 year old Questioning man, what is okay? Is it even okay to date people because like that's dangerous too now apparently But at the same time you you're living this kind of life where you're trying to do all the right things Externally like you're trying to be the good Christian kid who just who doesn't go across the line But then you're kind of letting out all of that those sexual urges in private in isolation Where now there's this double life going on and and and that's agonizing and it's painful and it sucks Because you feel like man I can't admit that I'm that I'm experiencing this that I'm that I'm engaging this disgusting You know stuff because we just don't talk about it We just don't have those kind of conversations and for all I was concerned Growing up my my guy friends it wasn't an issue for them. They were good. They were okay I come to find out later on that that you know that we all kind of were struggling in this particular area But we didn't really speak up about it going back to kind of the pornography thing and the seared conscience I was allowing myself to watch this stuff because I felt like okay, at least it's not as bad as You know this other stuff, right? I was trying to still hold on to this good Christian persona because I thought that that's what God Needed me to be like he wanted me to be perfect to be Completely pure so I even when I though I wasn't I tried to convince myself that I was I I was okay I was good. I was better than other people. So God look at me. I measure up. I'm okay But the truth is I wasn't I wasn't sexually pure No, I wasn't even close and and the fact that these messages were so kind of Put into me in what I was watching online and I mean my own fault Hey, it was what I was watching was what I thought was right Like the fact that these things were so drilled into me and I and I clung so deeply to this idea of wanting to be good I wouldn't let myself acknowledge my own sin and actually find healing from it And that was the big piece for me where I think there's so much shame and there's so much guilt tied up to Sexuality that is like especially in isolation if you're you know stuck in a cycle of masturbation or watching pornography There's so much shame connected to that and also that the challenges as well is that it's now sexual pleasure is now connected to The shame right so you you you climax you get to this point where you feel this great. Oh, man I feel good right but then you experience this deep shame and this deep guilt and that's the Correlation and you just think about taking that into marriage You understand why the couples need to work through this there needs to be sexual healing there needs to be sexual redemption because You experience that in the right covenantal relationship. There's sexual pleasure. There's climax But then you you have that same feeling of like oh, they're shame here or there's guilt here And that's not how God designed it at all He designed it to be a shameless a guiltless experience because it was his design from the beginning But because of these distortions in pornography and masturbation and and whatever else kind of a sexual stuff that you can you can Talk about because there's been this distortion We've correlated sexuality and sexual pleasure with something that's evil and something that's wrong and something that should be feared Or avoided or we should feel uncomfortable about what I want to encourage us to and I'm growing in this too Because it's been a long road. We didn't talk about this stuff in my household growing up as much or at all and And that's not to blame my parents or anything like we're all kind of like still figuring out and still learning But that's just kind of my background So now coming to this point where I'm coming to terms with some of the the sexual brokenness in my own life It's hard and and it's and and I know God needs to meet me in the midst of this And I want God to meet you in the midst of this My hope is that you're watching this video and you're saying yes Yes, like I'm glad somebody's talking about this right and and one of the things that's heavy on my heart Is that women are left on the sidelines that they're never really acknowledged or brought into any of these conversations And even for me as a man the idea that like a girl would a woman would struggle with this Sometimes is hard for me to understand because I was brought up in in or the books that I was reading were so focused on This idea that it's only a man's issue And so there's this kind of Continuity there that I'm still kind of working through I'm like wow like all this stuff that I was taught that hey It's only a guy's thing That's wrong and so my hope is is that this would open a greater conversation of being open about our struggles about the things that we've been through and we've walked through and yet also understanding that God is in the business of redemption like that is his plan And so we don't need to experience the shame or the guilt of what we've done in our past or what we're struggling with That we can experience full forgiveness and redemption knowing that we are God's child and Also that he has designed us in a particular way as sexual beings That's an aspect of who we are and there can be a right and a good expression of that sexuality that actually images God How crazy is that that is amazing? That is so exciting to me. It is such a different message then We should be scared of this. We should be fearful of this. We should not talk about this This should be something that we kind of push into a corner and we never really address No, no, no, no, this is part of God's plan and let's talk about it And let's be intentional about not letting people slip through the cracks feeling alone in this because we We've all been through it man in some way This kind of sexual sin has touched us in some way and so the real issue that the question is for you is Am I going to be vulnerable enough to get outside of this isolation and actually dive into maybe Maybe a conversation with a friend or a community where we can be more open about things that were we're walking through because we need each other We need community especially in this area. So this was the end of my little rant I'm sorry if this was a little bit startling for you if this caught you off guard But I think it's such an important conversation to have and one of the things that's on my heart Is that this channel would be a place that we would be able to have more honest conversations that you wouldn't just get the PC version of Christianity that's in a nice bow and and you can just kind of okay great This was the topic for today, and we've all sealed it off, and we're all good I never want that to become what I'm offering you and I know I've gotten caught up in that in the past I think what I'm realizing is that God meets us in the midst of our messiness in the midst of our brokenness in the midst of our sin and That doesn't mean that everything is fixed right away, right? There's still the brokenness of sin in our world and we're still navigating it And so don't feel the need this is what I'm preaching to myself Don't feel the need to tie it put everything in a nice little bow and say okay You know what I'm trusting God or God forgave me So I'm okay because there are deep roots of shame and of guilt and pride that we're constantly digging up and we're constantly Navigating and we're constantly inviting Jesus to say God Please you know do a work here bring about healing here bring about restoration here and God is faithful to do it Thank you for watching this video if you enjoyed it subscribe because I'm putting on new videos like this all the time a huge Shout out to everyone on patreon It is because of you guys that I can make this content that is so dear to my heart and my mission of equipping people to follow Jesus daily if you want to support what I'm doing here click the link in my description It would be a huge blessing you can get access to all sorts of rewards, and it would just be a huge huge Blessing for this ministry. So thank you so much for watching again, and I will see you next time. God bless You