 There are five Home Alone movies. Five. Two John Hughes classics, one John Hughes shit-fest, and two straight-to-TV Hellscapes. I'm only interested in the theatrical releases, so it's Home Alone 1 vs. 2 vs. 3 on Movie Feuds. Two Home Alone movies stand up incredibly well, and that's because of impeccable casting. Macaulay Culkin became a household name after these hit, and for good reason. He's funny, he's tactful, and he's not afraid to let out a cuss word or two. His large family is just as great in their smaller roles. Particularly Buzz, his douchey older brother. Macaulay's real-life younger brother, Kieran, can also be seen in the first two flicks as Kevin's bedwetting cousin Fuller. John Hurd and Catherine O'Hara play the forgetful parents, with O'Hara getting some amazing standout moments. Especially her unforgettable realization in the sequel that she once again forgot her son. John Candy shows up at the end of the first flick, too, which is always a good thing. A little candy goes a long way. The breakthrough performances besides our lead are definitely the sticky slash wet bandits, Harry and Marv. Daniel Stern was still relatively unknown at the time, unless you're a big fan of his performance in Little Monsters. But his goofy, gangly character Marv definitely got people's attention. Joe Pesci was the big name here, coming off films like Raging Bull, Lethal Weapon 2, and Goodfellas. And even though his persona as Leo Getz was silly, this was a far cry from Harry's very over-the-top cartoonish portrayal. And I mean that in the best way possible. Much like Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber, Pesci goes for broke and absolutely nails it. Old Man Marley and the Pigeon Lady are unwelcome to size for me, but I suppose they help humanize Kevin McAllister's sadistic ways. They keep him grounded in between bouts of brick hurling, rope burning, and paint can throwing carnage. Home Alone 2, Lost in New York adds even more to this already stellar lineup. Joining the Dumb burglars are a small, inept hotel staff of some of the finest idiots in New York. Rob Schneider, Tim Curry, Dana Ivy, and Little Moe with the gimpy leg pile on the laughs. Home Alone 3 opts to start from scratch instead of retelling the same story three times over. And I give it credit for that. And nothing else. Actor Alex Linz plays new protagonist Alex Pruitt. Minor dick pic, but he's not technically Home Alone as he's often seen with his stupid parrot companion. I hate it. I wanted it to die the entire film. Parrots think they're so cool because they can repeat words. We get it. Repetition. How exciting. Get over yourselves. Your parrots. Sorry. Alex just doesn't have that same charisma or screen presence as his counterpart. He's missing the Bart Simpson-esque bad boy quality. Instead, he opts to spend most of his free time spying on the elderly neighbor Mrs. Hess. Alex's family is just as unremarkable as he is. So hopefully the villains bring the laughs, right? Wrong! Writer John Hughes doubled the villain count to four, but his superhero movies have shown us less usually means more and not the other way around. That rings very true here, as these spies aren't even in the same league as the bandits. The only positive I can take away from this fat four-stick group is that the female villain looks damn fine in her white jumpsuit. Much like Kevin McAllister's macaroni and cheese, Alice Ribbons is an unspoiled, delicious dish. I would make sure to save her to the very last bite. How do you let that macaroni and cheese just sit there? Who else is in Home Alone 3 worth mentioning even? Again, I'm racking my brain trying to figure it out. Oh yeah, fiery hot Scarlett Johansson? Sorry, never mind. She's like 13 in this. No one has any interest in that outside of Roy Moore. Topical. Happy holidays. Kevin McAllister is like the kid version of Larry David. In Home Alone 1, he tells his mom that his family treats him like crap and she doesn't really care to hear him out, proving his point. He crosses the line, I'll admit that, he crosses the line by admitting to his mom that he doesn't want to have a family for Christmas. He gets exactly that the very next morning. His family accidentally sleeps in and have to scramble to make their flight. As the mother desperately tries to find a way back home to her son after realizing she abandoned him, Kevin is dealing with his own snafu back in Chicago. A duo of small-time crooks, self-titled to wet bandits, have targeted his home to rob. This premise leads itself to a lot of fun gags and hijinks such as setting up a fake family party, grocery shopping and shaving for the first time, indoor sledding, and of course the final showdown between Big Kev Dogg and his assailants. Home Alone 2 is the Force Awakens of family comedies. It's almost the exact same movie with its own little twists and additions. And much like The Force Awakens, I love it. Yeah, the template is perfect, so rather than change it up this time, it acknowledges what works and dives head-first with oversized shorts on. The beats are identical, the family sleeps in again, the family loses Kevin again. Granted, this time he at least makes it to the airport before going to a different state entirely. I didn't check time codes on the films, but I wouldn't be surprised if they lined up within minutes of each other in terms of these beats. The sequel even filmed another fake black-and-white movie for Kevin to quote and use on an unsuspecting guest. The silhouettes come back into play too. This time it's a giant novelty blow-up clown dancing to the go-go's hit song Cool Jerk performed by Kevin's cheapskate uncle via pre-recorded talk boy Playback. That was a very tough sentence to get through, but I want you to really appreciate the nuance in this scene and everything that really went into making it funny. There's layers there. This movie's a bit different in the sense that Kevin knowingly puts himself in harm's way for a good cause. He thwarts the now nicknamed sticky bandits from robbing Duncan's toy chest. It's another Christmas in the trenches for our hero and one that has more laughs, more heart, and more bodily injury that surely would lead to death in the real world. Home Alone 3 is the phantom menace of family comedies, although I suppose it could be argued that Phantom Menace is also a family comedy, I digress. 3 has nothing to do with the movies before it and I prefer to not consider it part of the series. The plot is a bit more convoluted this time around. The spies misplace a computer chip that was packaged in with a remote control car to smuggle past customs. Their employer is rightfully pissed about the botched job they did. The item in question was accidentally delivered to the neighbor gilf Alex is currently into and eventually it will become his possession as she will gift it to him. Unfortunately, she doesn't gift anything else his way. He's been searching her out for years via his binocs short for binoculars, but nothing's there for him yet. Nothing's right for the taking. Well, I mean she's right, but I gotta- Home Alone 2 uses the talkboy a bit too much, but it pales in comparison to the amount of screen time that damn remote control car got. Much like Kevin, Alex takes matters into his own hands when he catches wind of the spies' actions. It's somehow less plausible though as Alex isn't actually left in another state. His family just stepped out for a few hours while he was left home with the chicken pox. The story is pretty inconsequential though, it's got the pieces in place, it's just very bland and the characters are uninspired. Let's talk about the effects now. The first two films were well produced, well directed and just all around well made. John Williams composed the instantly recognizable theme song and both were directed by Harry Potter's first director Christopher Columbus. The drop in quality is noticeable across the board when the Scooby Doo director takes the helm for the third flick. It feels like a poor knock-off version made by less talented individuals. That said, it's not a complete and total disaster. A younger audience like four or five will still find plenty to enjoy and some of the slapstick occasionally lands a few chuckles. There are a couple inventive traps mixed in with the mediocrity such as the snow-covered tar or the frozen pool trampoline. The punchlines just don't hit hard and that's truly where this movie stumbles the most. The first two movies build up the jokes and then unabashedly reuse them for an even greater effect. Seeing our bumbling burglars tapping doorknobs quickly for fear of being set to flame. Watching them maniacally laugh when they think they have the upper hand only to be bested with a twist on the formula. Conversing about an odd setting before realizing the cold harsh truth of the situation. These moments all compound into hilarious situations. Christopher Columbus puts a warm glow on these films too. It has a Christmas feel to it. There's a magic there that's missing in the Raha Ghaznel's movie. Home Alone 3 is a real trout sniffer if you ask me. There are two official Home Alone movies in my book. Everything after pales in comparison. They're imposters. They're liars. They don't exist. And the audience appear to be on my side as the third installment only generated $79 million compared to the sequel which brought in $359 million. The first being even higher at $476 million. Now I know numbers don't mean anything. The Transformers films continue to somehow do really well and those movies are total ass. Nevertheless, I have a point here somehow. I am curious to know what you think too. Did I unjustifiably shit all over your beloved third or are you right there with me? So leave a comment, vote for your winner and remember this is more than just reviews. This is Movie Feuds. If you've been with me for a long time or if you've gone through the catalog recently you will know I've already done Home Alone 1 vs 2. I'm leaving 3 off for obvious reasons. But I felt like I could do a better job which is why I redid the episode. I was very young and it was in its infantile state still trying to find its way on YouTube. I think I'm at a better place where I can kind of look back at that catalog and redo some that are just poor quality or don't live up to the standards I want them to. And in another 3 years I'll look back on this and be like wow this is terrible. But for now I feel like things are good. So, enjoy. Thank you.