 Hey Jen, Janelle is wants to be on the hot seat. Hi. Hi, you've been on before, right? I have been on before, so thank you for letting me back on here. All right, so first off, when I was on before, I misspelled your name, so sorry about that. Here is my question. I tried to type it, but it took up too much space. So in relationships, it seems to me at the beginning, I am more confident in voicing my opinions and what I want, that kind of stuff. And then the more time goes by, I become more timid. And it's every time. And that seems so backwards and really. No, it's not. Oh, okay. Well, let me jump in. Because in the beginning, you don't give a shit. Exactly. I mean, let me rephrase that. You know what? And I'm saying that a little tongue in cheek, but you know, you're not attached to the outcome. You're not attached to this person. But most importantly, the minute you become vulnerable to another human being, you know, it's scary. You know, the minute you open your heart to another person that's rather scary, because on some level, they have the power to destroy it. They have the power to rip it apart and burn it at the fire pit. I'm exaggerating, of course. I'm with you. So one of the chapters, you know, it's interesting, my son Connor, the one who passed away, the chapter five in the book is called, hold on a second, what page is it on? 39. So read what that says. Don't let anyone f with your chief. So what that means is, is retaining your power in a relationship. It starts by working on non attachment. In other words, and I'm not saying that we don't come attached to another human being, but we work on not being so attached that if it doesn't work out, you know, we're going to still be okay. And don't let anyone fuck with our chi. It's like really, it's also don't let yourself fuck with your chi. What that means is you retain your power the way you did in the beginning through the middle. Now, of course, the more attached you become to someone, it's going to be more difficult, but this is where learning healthier communication techniques with one another pays dividends by building a relationship that's built on trust through, you know, through social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, traveling the other, the more trust you build with another human being, the safer we feel to communicate with them. But I feel like there's something deeper in your question that you're not asking. So go, what is it that you're really asking? Well, so I'm, I'm not sure really, what I was going to ask you is if you have, I don't know, like techniques or something like for me to stop doing that, you know, or for me to keep my power, you know, because it's every time the further I want you to write this down and everybody someone put this in the chat box. I want you to write after my broadcast. I want you to go on YouTube. I want you to type in, stop it, Bob Newhart here, we'll do it together. So here, bear with me one second. Now, this is a little tongue in cheek. Okay, stop it. Okay. Do you see this video that came up here? Wait, oh, that's, I didn't want it to start. I didn't want the, the, the, okay. See that woman right there. He says six minutes and five seconds. She says, stop it, Bob Newhart. Now this is a very, by the way, you look like her. Look at her. Look at you. You look like her twin. That's pretty. So I want you to type, I want you to watch it. It's a funny tongue in cheek. So what stop it is a metaphor for self-discipline. You know, if you were walking down a street and you saw a hole in the sidewalk, are you going to walk into it or are you going to walk around it? Like, if you know your, your, your issue, then, then discipline says, I'm going to, to, I'm not going to fall in the hole. You know, so this takes willpower. There is no magic. You know, by the way, there isn't this, this is where a lot of fantasy is in personal development. I mean, I've been at this, I'll be candid with you. I'd say I began, Reid began my journey in 2006, 2007. So what is that? That was 17 years ago. And for the first decade, I was, I was like a snail's pace of improvement, but little by little each, it was like peeling a layer of an onion. Just, it was like the, the thinnest skin at first every single day. It began becoming more accelerated when I was intentional at really being mindful and learning how to regulate my emotions. But this isn't like one simple thing. It's, it's literally peeling a layer of an onion every single day. So avoiding the impulse to step into the hole, or in your case, it would be to the impulse to, to hide your voice. You know, I want to invite you the opposite. Do practice speaking up in, in small ways, speak up in small ways. And if you build that muscle of speaking up in small ways, do you get what I mean by speaking up in small ways, you know, and things that aren't as scary. And the more you do it, the more you do it, the more you do it, the more you do it, the then you will feel more confident. When you start expressing yourself from, this is how I feel. Most people point the finger and it's you, you, you, you. But when we begin to learn how to speak from eye statements, this is how I feel. Not that you make me feel this way. This is how I feel when this happens. Right. All right. Well, thank you for letting me back on and thanks for your welcome. You've got great energy. You've got this. I just want to come and pinch your cheek's kind of energy. You're so adorable. Excuse me. I watched another one of your videos today real quick. I'm sorry. And then I'll get off your screen. It was you and another girl. It was on your, it was on her channel. It was a, I don't remember her name. Anyway, it was a very spiritual talk. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you mentioned the whole, the awareness, the whole and the street analogy. That was cool. I like that. Yeah. By the way, so what I was describing for everybody is I learned it from, let me share it with everybody real quick. I learned this from Wayne Dyer. I didn't learn it from him personally watching a video. So you're walking down the street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. You fall in, you're lost, you're helpless, but it isn't my fault. It takes a long time to get out. Next day, you're walking down the same street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. This time you see it. You fall in, you're lost, you're hopeless, but it isn't my fault. It takes a long time to get out. The next day you're walking down the same street. There's a deep hole in the sidewalk. You see it there. You fall in. It's a habit. It's your fault. You get out quickly. The next day you walk down the same street. You see that deep hole in the sidewalk. You walk around it. And the next day you walk down the same street or you walk down a different street. The point is the holes in our sidewalk are our negative patterns, our limiting beliefs, our fears, our judgments, our resentments. The minute we take ownership of it, that's 80% of it. Because even if you fall in, you can get out quickly. And that's my invitation for you in this particular case. Thank you for allowing me to pontificate for a moment. I really appreciate it. My Leo Ego loves it, so I'll just own it. Anyway, I'm saying that tongue in cheek. Can I reach into the camera and give you a big gigantic chocolate and bear hug? Yes, thank you. Thanks so much. Be well. Thanks, bye. Thanks, bye now. Wow, that was fun. See? I'm not so bad.