 Now, over the last years of having coached hundreds of people one-on-one, I've really been trying to reflect on what were the core beliefs or the inner traits that I noticed in people who self-sabotage the most versus those that do not self-sabotage that much or versus those that tend to get really good results in coaching. Now, I've narrowed it down to two traits that I see. And when I see these traits, they really do serve as red flags to personal growth. So I figured in today's video, I want to share the two beliefs that I see are the most damaging to improving your life and just overcoming the stuff that is holding you back. Hey, guys. Alex Hein, author of the book Master of the Day. Now, one of the ways I personally trained myself to overcome limiting beliefs was actually through journaling. So I've included the first link in the description is a link to a free journaling worksheet and a series of emails that you will get to show you how to use journaling to overcome beliefs and reach your goals in life and how to get your life together. So you can check that out. The first link in the description there. Now what are these two beliefs? Now I will say you may not recognize them necessarily in yourself, but you will recognize the way they show up. So these two traits are the neurotic type and the hopeless type. So the neurotic type is all about this belief underlying everything, which is that I'm fragile. I'm fragile. So the neurotic type is like, what about that thing? What about that thing? What happens if I do that? And what if I do that? What happens if that happens? All these things are designed to build control because of the fear of letting go. Will bad things happen if I let go? What happens if I stop working as hard? What happens if I stop keeping my kitchen immaculately clean? What happens if my apartment isn't clean all the time? The neurotic is the control freak. Those are some of the traits I've been battling. It's basically since childhood. Now the other trait, the hopeless type, is all about the fact that I will not be able to overcome these things. I can't change is what the hopeless type says. So how do these two manifest in a person's life? Let's go through the example of dating. So the first type, when it comes to dating, tends to have beliefs that are like, I'm fragile and I always end up with heartbreak. You know, whenever I date these girls or I ever date these guys, it always keeps happening like this. It's just like, they're the same messed up person, they're the same unambitious person, they're the same person with no goals, they're the same person who just can't get their life together. And then, or it could even be that we are that person, but nonetheless our perception is that I always end up with the heartbreak. It just doesn't work out. Now on the other side, there's the belief that I can't change. And so we say things like, you know, this is more the personal side. I keep dating that person. I keep dating the messed up person. I keep dating the unambitious person. I keep, why do I keep attracting them? Rather than the external perspective, why am I drawing this into my life all the time? It's like my curse. You hear people say that. But really, it's a series of personality traits, beliefs and programming usually from their parents or from childhood. Now what about money, for example? So the fragile type is more like whenever I get money, I lose it. And there's this thing that like, they make themselves believe that there's something wrong with them fundamentally that makes them incapable of having and holding onto money, of getting a good paying job, of having savings. There's always some story around why they keep losing it or why they can't keep it. Now the other side of the story surrounding the person that believes they cannot change, underlying that's what they really believe. People say things like, you know, my mom was just like this or my job doesn't pay enough. So these stories have been invented to reinforce the belief that there's a predetermined reason why I cannot change. Now what about when it comes to health? So from the fragile category, you see people like, I have this condition and so I can't do sports. I can't get that job. I can't ask that person out. I can never have my own business. All these stories, which by the way may be based on truth, you may actually be handicapped. But what I find very often, maybe some people are, but very often people use certain health conditions as handicaps. When there are others, you could find the same condition that have overcome those handicaps. So the belief is that because I have this, therefore I cannot do the things I want. And it's another kind of self-sabotage. So what do you do with all these beliefs though? Like why am I bringing these up? Besides of the obvious fact that they are all ways that we self-sabotage. There are stories and alibis we use to prevent ourselves from getting the results we want. And it seems like why would I invent a story to be less successful, less happy, less fulfilled? Because often, for example, when you see people that want something that another person has, we often like to believe that those people are special in some way. The story may be that they are brilliant special, financially gifted from birth, from their parents special, beauty they've been given genetically special. But what are we really saying? We're often really saying that they have something I do not. So therefore, trying is futile. There's no point in trying because I don't have what they have. And very often this is a lie. We prevent ourselves from doing the work by saying, they're special, I'm not. I could never have this if I wanted to. Because then we realize if that's really possible, if that girl, that guy was like me 20 years ago, 10 years ago, then I got a hell of a lot of work to do. So why don't I get started on that? That's a heavy burden to bear. But if you want to be real with yourself, very often we fall into that category. So my challenge for you today is if there's a part of your life you're not getting results in, look at two beliefs. The first belief shows up in many ways, but the belief is fundamentally that I am fragile. The second belief shows up in many ways, but it is fundamentally that I cannot change. But there is something that stops me from being able to change and therefore get the life I want. Take a look at those two beliefs this week. Let me know if that helps. And of course, if you want the best way to start with belief work in my experience has been going through journaling exercises. The first link in the description will give you a free journaling worksheet as well as an email series every few days on how to use journaling to get your life together and reach your wildest goals. You can also check out my last two videos right there and right there.