 When a relationship falls apart, it's normal to go back and try understand the cause. You go over everything that was said and done to try understand what happened and what clues might have been missed. Sometimes you are left with mixed feelings depending on how the relationship was and how it ended. One of the biggest feelings that come out of a breakup is regret. Regret is a feeling of guilt or shame at the things you might have done or not done. Regret lingers on after you break up because it reflects the things you wish you should have said and done but never got the chance to. Here are a few things that can cause romantic regret. Not expressing your true feelings. Ever wondered why bottling up your emotions can sour a relationship? Dr. David Luddins psychology today article spills the beans. He cites Airi Sasaki's research showing that just one partner concealing their feelings can send relationship satisfaction plummeting. She even called emotional suppression a weak link. Hiding your emotions makes it difficult for your partner to understand you. While emotional suppression and its effects on a relationship were observed during moments of conflict resolution, it can apply to moments where you both need to make decisions. If a partner doesn't express his or her emotions then you wouldn't know how to react or even be able to guess what the other person is thinking. Hiding your emotions puts a strain on communicating and impedes developing emotional intimacy. Putting your life on pause Another cause of romantic regret is putting your life on hold for your partner. There may be cases where putting your life on pause to help your partner may happen. For example, your partner is sick and they need you or you have children and need to divide your time between your life and work. There are some instances where your personal plans might have to be put on the backburner. However, feeling like you need to put your plans on hold in order to make your relationship work can be a source of tension. In many relationships, it can lead to resentment and unexpressed anger which poisons a relationship. From that point on, the relationship might feel burdensome and difficult. If your partner is asking you to put your life on hold, both of you need to approach the subject with understanding. You need to understand why your partner is asking this and your partner needs to understand what they are asking of you. Try to find some middle ground so that both of you can feel your needs are being met. Staying past the expiration date Another cause for romantic regret is staying a relationship past its expiration date. Not all relationships are long-lasting. In some cases, you both grow and change in different directions, no longer walking along the same path. It takes courage and maturity to walk away from that kind of relationship. It's scary to leave something familiar, but it is much worse to stay in a relationship that no longer works just because you are both afraid. Doing that can ruin the memory of what that relationship once was. It can also create negative feelings between you and your partner, and sometimes even resentment. If you are the only one who feels that you have changed and no longer want to continue the relationship, tell your partner it's better to break up than to pretend everything's alright. Not saying sorry The last cause for romantic regret ties in with the first one. It's not saying you are sorry. In a relationship, there will be arguments and disagreements. It's normal. You are two different people with your own perspectives and beliefs. However, it is incredibly important to realize when you need to apologize. Pride and ego often get in the way of saying you're sorry, because oftentimes we want to hold onto our perspective or be the one who has the final word. This holding an apology, especially when you messed up, is a cheap manipulation that gives you control over the situation. It subtly tells the other person that you might not care about their perspectives or beliefs. So, apologize. If for some reason you find it hard to say you're sorry, write it down. For some, the words come easier if they are left on paper. However, the apology needs to be genuine. Anyone can spot a fake apology. Relationships can be difficult. Let's say rollercoaster of emotions and feelings that can be overwhelming. Sometimes the relationship crashes and burns and you are left wondering what happened. We hope this list has given you some clarity of what to avoid to not experience regret at the end of a relationship. But remember, sometimes the things that cause the end of that relationship are things you might always regret and never get a chance to fix. Let us know in the comments below if you can relate to any of these and how you have dealt with them. 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