 I'm ashamed to say that either, because he's a cool guy. I'm going to welcome to the stage your friend and mine, Tim, the right-hand man. Give it up for him right here. Thank you. What a nice introduction. I don't know about the star of that. There were some good people in that. How is everybody today? It's a good crowd, good-looking group. The women of Orlando are in trouble, I think. Save some for me. I'm a good writer. I've got a blog called righthandmanifesto.blogspot.com. Show hands. Who's ever read any of my articles on there? OK, good. I'm a much better writer than my speaker, so I'd rather just kind of give you a talk. Not the most gifted, but I'll try to add some of my humor and experience. A little about myself. Contrary to the popular opinion that I was raised by wolves or nuns, depending on which woman you ask, more than just like an Irish boy that can hold my drink in a conversation. I'm a father, son, brother, friend, former husband, mentor, sometimes a lover. And I'm just like your average guy. I've had some success in business. Now I define my life by the kind of things I enjoy to do. It's not so much about, when you meet somebody, they always say, hey, what do you do? And you're kind of judged by your vocation or what you've chosen to do with your life. I think of more things. I describe myself. I play the guitar. I sound worse than Bob Dylan. I sing off key, but I still expect to be treated like a rock star. I like to cook. It's a great skill to have. It's fun. I've got three daughters. That's a big part of my life, raising them, seeing them grow up. It's really cool. And I've got a lot of great friends and great family in town. Someone was asking earlier. It was out in the lobby talking that, I'm fortunate in the American culture, generally when you reach adulthood, you go to college and you kind of move off and you move away from your family. I'm very fortunate all my family lives here in Orlando. My kids, my parents, my brothers. So it's really a nice twist. American culture seems to be more pulled apart than it seems in the past 30 or 40 years. So that's a little bit about myself. On the interview for the community tapes, I explained a little bit how I got in the community. I joined the local lair a few years ago. Met some great guys. I see a couple guys in it, hear from it. Three of my best friends now I met through the community. So I owe a lot to it. I kind of backed away from it in the past couple years. Because I think there's a progression that people go into. They get in the community. They get involved because they need a new paradigm in dealing with women. And so I found that, got excited about it, did some crazy things. And I think you got to push yourself to the edge of your comfort zone and do some things. I never wore a feather boa or a stuffed animal around my neck. But I've plenty of times of clawing women in, saying, just crazy as shit to them. And I've seen some good results from that. But I thought, what am I going to talk last year? You guys can go online and look at the speech. A couple of guys told me that they had seen the video from last year and enjoyed that. And that was like taking a drink out of a fire hydrant. Because I was trying to throw all my experience of what I do, my own style in dealing with women into one speech. And it ran over. And Anthony was very gracious. He gave me more time. But this year I thought, when we were doing the community tapes, he asked me the question, what are you going to talk about? And I thought, well, everybody. There's guys better at pickup that are coming to share with you their style of doing it. And my experience really comes from, I'm not a great pickup artist. I'm not lacking by any means in that area. I always have a lot of options in my life when it comes to women. But the other part of the background, why I chose to talk about it, is that I'll be 45 this year. So I'm a little older than most people in the room. And when Anthony asked my question, what do you talk about, I said, well, since he's born in the whole 21 convention to be more of a success type seminar for young men, what's the best thing I could share? A good buddy of mine always have these conversations. And we're sharing things about mistakes we've made in the past 10 years. And he said, wouldn't it be great if you get your hands on a book that was all the things my dad never told me? Our dads had an experience of growing up with their father and what they shared with them. Maybe some of them had limited experience with different things in life. Some of them have one part of expertise, but some of them missed it in this area. Some of them got young. Some of them, some of our dads, maybe married a couple of times. So I thought that the best thing I could share with you is the top 10 mistakes that a man can make in his 20s. And I'm going to pull my watch out now on my clock. I don't wear a watch anymore. Who wears a watch these days? Well, somebody asked me the time. It's always like, if somebody asks you time, you still pull out your iPod or your cell phone. I'll put that there so I don't run over. Top 10 mistakes a man can make in his 20s. I probably made half of these and watched other people make the other half. And it seems like when I talked to my friends who were in their late 30s, the guys that I hang around with are the closest with. I see some common threads that run through. And I wish that when I was 20, somebody would have got ahold of me and told me. I have these deep conversations with my mom and she talks about my ex-wife. And she says, I saw that coming. And I'm like, well, why didn't you tell me anything? She says, well, because you were 21 and you thought you knew everything. She goes, you wouldn't have listened to me anyways. So there really is no particular order of importance. But I'll go through these. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to talk for a little bit. And at the end, I'll give us plenty of time for Q&A, because hopefully I'll raise some questions in your mind. And then we can just freestyle it, as they say, right? Number one mistake that a guy can make in his 20s to avoid would be chasing any woman. It seems to be the theme in the community more and more in the past three years is who is the guy that writes the blog? He used to be herbal. He's got that little book out, How to Make Women, How to Get the Girl to Chase You. And I think that's actually the way you want to flip the script. But chasing any woman is bad. And it starts from the very first time that you see a woman, because how does the traditional typical American culture thing go? Boy sees hot girl. And all boy sees is hot girl. I want her. I get her. A lot of pickup in the past in the early stages of the community was all geared toward you trying to impress her or get her attention, try to create some attraction, try to get her interest up and try to escalate from there. But I think the problem with chasing a woman, number one, you set the stage that you come across as needy. I need something from you. So this may be a girl that you meet at work. It could be somebody in your social circle. It could be the girl that you see at the bar or the club. And all of a sudden, you see hot girl. And you feel a twinge in your groin. Or you're like, wow, she's hotter than the girl I'm seeing right now. Or you're like, that would be a great notch in my belt. Or let me just have them out for fun tonight. Let's see how far I can push it with her. But that whole thing of you being the one chasing, it just reeks of neediness. And even after the pickup thing where you see this girl, maybe you go and hang out with her, and you start to hang out with her a little bit more, and you find yourself that you're the one initiating the communication, it's just, unless you're a little bit aloof, it kind of reeks of cleanliness. It's like, I need something from her. So the way to combat that, to avoid that mistake, is my rule is that any non-face-to-face communication with a woman should be very limited. And if you're not in front of her, because what's the old saying is that, I can't believe this is going to be the internet, the whole world is going to see it. But you can't have sex with a woman over the phone. It's got to be face to face. So any kind of non-face communication text, phone calls, emails, you've got to keep it to a minimum. That way the woman knows you're not chasing her. I had this conversation very recently, and the woman said to me, she's like, I'm the one who is always initiating the communication. And we're sitting down, we're having a glass of wine, some cheese, she came out of my house. And she's like, I want to ask you a question. I've got this other guy that I've met. I know him seven years ago, and he didn't want to date me then, but now he's interested. And I just met you a couple weeks ago, but I'm the one making all the initiation. I've made the phone calls. I've texted you. I'm like, yeah, I called you back. She's like, yeah, but I'm the one doing that. I said, listen, my rule is I'm not going to chase any woman. I said, because I'm not the clingy type. I said, how about that other guy? She's like, yeah, it's kind of creeping me out, because he's calling me all the time. So even though women complain about you being a loupe, and they claim that, hey, you're distant, you need your space, the other conversation with another woman I had recently was this. And I'll get to this other point. One of the great things to keep yourself a loupe is just to tell women straight up, I'm not sure what I'm looking for right now. I need some time to figure it out. So if you want to hang out with me and have fun, while I figure that out, you're welcome to. And that always makes women curious. When you're a loupe, it's just like now they got to chase you. And she said to me, well, what does that mean? Do you need space while you're figuring this thing out? And I said, absolutely, I need space. She goes, what does that look like? I said, well, I'm probably not going to talk to you every day. I'm probably going to talk to you when I see you. That way we can catch up and have fun. So when you flip that script, and you're not the one pursuing the woman, if she's really into you, and that's the way to know if she's into you, she'll be the one pursuing you. She'll initiate the text, the phone call. Sometimes you think, god, you know what? I'd really like to hook up with her this weekend. Man, if I just send this little text out, how's everything? I'm just going to throw a little line out there. If she bites, I know we're on. We're on for Saturday night. But if you can resist that urge to send the text out over time, you'll have enough women. You'll get these pings. Oh, she's sending you a message. How's everything? That's like my standard text. I stole that from Brent Smith. You guys ever heard of him? Brent Smith lifestyle. Let's catch phrases. How's everything? So girls now, they'll get the text, and they'll text me back. How's everything? So the other way to not chase a woman is to not pay for things. And I'll get to that in another point. When you think about meeting a woman, think about, I'm going to introduce myself, I'm going to see if there's a little connection, there's attraction, and then I'm going to back off and see if she chases. So number one rule is not to chase a woman. If you start that now in your 20s, the rest of your interactions, that will, because eventually you'll meet one that you want a long term relationship with. And that's the way you establish the ground rules that you don't chase. Your relationship's going to go a lot better. Second mistake a guy can make in his 20s is trying to buy a woman's love. So it all starts out with dates. What is the traditional American date? The guy calls the girl up, says, hey, let's go out. And she says, what? What'd you have in mind? Did you hate that? If you ask a girl, hey, let's get together. And they always say, what'd you have in mind? I feel like it's a shit test. If it's not good, well, maybe I'm busy. Oh, you don't want to take you to dinner in a movie. Oh, I'm free. But dates, that is just the whole American version of trying to buy a woman's love and affection. It doesn't work. The second thing that trapped the guys fall into, it's probably not you guys in the room. You may have made this mistake in the past, but you'll see your friends do this, is that they start dating. So once the guy establish that fact that he's going to pay for the woman the first time, she thinks that every time that they go out. And I remember a few years ago before I found the community, that's how it was with a girlfriend that I had. She was nice. She would cook for me. I would go over there, hang out. She was a great hostess. She would do a lot of things. But when we went out, she always expected me to pay. And one time, I'm like, hey, you know what? You drank a lot of stuff tonight with the bill. And she's like, no, that's your job as the man. Because I set up the relationship the wrong way. So a lot of guys in America do this. And none of you guys have ever done this. I did this in my past. It was a big mistake. Flowers, candy, tokens of affection, little things. Oh, it's just a small gift. It's just a card. None of that stuff. You don't need any of that things to have a good, healthy relationship with a woman. Because what happens is when you establish that in dating and you find the right one, show your hands, how many guys think that they'll get married someday? That's a few, exactly. So you think, oh, I found the right one. She's great. She's gorgeous. She's smart. She's got a good career. This will be the one that I'm going to all treat her nice. I'll take her out. She's great. Mistake. Always make them chase. Because what happens when you do the dating thing and you got the cards, the little gifts on her birthday, the tokens of affection, then it turns into jewelry. When she goes to the marriage, women in their late 20s, they fill that clock ticking for marriage. And the ultimate finger trophy for them is an engagement ring. It's crazy. When I got married, I bought a big ring for my fiance. And just now, that's craziness. If you meet a lot of women, if you go to travel and see other cultures, you'll see that the ring's another culture. It's very simple. Just a gold ring. There's no big engagement ring. So buying jewelry. I had a friend who was dating a girl, and he bought her a really nice necklace a couple of years ago. They're now not together anymore, some of you guys knew. I don't know if you know the story, but spent a lot of money. She's out of his life now. And it didn't make her love or it didn't make her a better girlfriend for him. So jewelry is going to get you in trouble. Because what happens once you set up that I dated this girl, I treated her. We got engaged. I continued to treat her. I bought her a big ring. Now I got to buy her a big wedding. Now we got to get a reception. Now we got to go on a big honeymoon. Get married. She keeps her job or decides to have kids. Now she wants a bigger car, a better car, a different car. She wants a house. She gets the house. Then she's going to want a different house, better neighborhood, bigger house. And it may seem foreign to you, but if you go back and you maybe look at your father's life, when he got married, a lot of guys fall into that trap. So eventually how that whole story ends is that you have paid for her the whole way along. When you met her, when you dated her, when you got engaged, when you got married, when you had kids, you've been footing the bill for everything all the way along, always trying to buy her love. And actually, when you get divorced, you'd be surprised how that love goes out the window. And you're paying through the nose, blood, sweat, and tears for a divorce settlement. And what's the phrase? Hell hath no fury. The rest of that, how that goes. So eventually if you set the stage for that, it ends in divorce, and you're paying for that mistake for a long time to come. If you have kids, you'll pay for that along to come. If you've been in a long-term relationship marriage with a woman, alimony, that mistake is going to stay with you for quite a while. So trying to buy a woman's love. If you set the script the way you want it to be at the start, you'll find the right woman. If she's not into that, and she says, you know, I got guys that want to take me out, have fun, enjoy. She'll still be into you if she's really into you. So trying to buy a woman's love falls into the third trap that a guy should avoid in his 20s would be avoiding getting caught up in materialism. It's so prevalent in America. I mean, the television, every show, you're just bombarded with Madison advertising telling you that the car you drive is not good enough. You need a newer car, a different car. The clothes you wear aren't good enough. The neighborhood you live in isn't good enough. The water you drink isn't good enough. The phone that you got is outdated. You need a new one. We're just bombarded left and right in this culture with all the stuff that we need. And it's easy for a guy in his 20s. Because you get good grades in high school so you can get to college. And you study hard in college so that you can get a good job. And you get a good job, and now your buddies are out. And man, look at the car I'm driving. I got this new BMW, and the other guy's going, well, check this out. I got this new Escalade, and the other guy's going, hey, I got a Mercedes. I'm going to trade up because that makes me look good. When you get a copy of materialism, you take some of your worth and value, and you're assigning it to what you have in your possessions. And that stuff is so fleeting. And we get suckered in when we're young. Because we think in America that economic success is really what it's all about. But when you get caught up in that in your 20s, automobiles, clothing, being addicted to a particular brand, I've got to have this particular brand of car. I'm always going to drive a BMW. I'm always going to have a Mercedes. I've always got to have this line of clothing. Or these are the kind of shoes I'm always going to wear. In your 20s, you'll find that you spend a lot of money up with materialism. And instead of investing for your future or taking your money and spending it investing in a business or investing it in yourself for travel or things that you like to do. And everybody loves it. The reason being is there's a thrill of the new purchase. Every time you buy something new, you kind of satiate that need and that want. You're like, man, look at that. And just fill in a blank, whatever it is. It could be look at that new computer, look at that new car, look at that new shirt. And we buy it and it satiates it but then after a while the thing's old. So we could caught up in that. That's a big thing to avoid in your 20s because there's other things that you should be focusing on. Really your goal in your career should be finding a work that supports your lifestyle. Like I said earlier, when you get to be later in life after a couple of decades in the past since you've been in high school since you're out of college, you're like, wow, I can't believe that happened. That was so long ago. You think, man, some of you guys are just out of college. You think, wow, college is 20 years ago. That time will go by so fast. And you'll find that at that juncture in life, you'll look back and you'll define yourself differently. If you work to support a lifestyle, that stuff just comes and goes, it changes with the fads. But if you work to support your life, the kind of life that you want, you say, I don't want my life to look later on. Do I want to be able to travel when I'm in my 40s, 50s? Do I want to be able to retire at age 55? Right now in your 20s, man, you got the whole, you say, I got time to make mistakes. I can go here and do this. I can do this. I really have to think about money. Retirement's not that close. That's way off in the distance. But that, man, it comes steam rolling along. So when you're 20s, you really gotta avoid that materialism trap. The myth of the American dream, what is the American dream that we just saw in the past couple of years totally implode and blow up? Anybody know what is the American dream? To own a house, exactly. And everybody invested in houses. Man, I'm gonna trade up. I got this one. I'm gonna buy a couple, rent them out. And the whole housing market crashes. Everybody's got a short sale. People are walking away. People's credit, these are gonna be destroyed for a few years. Because they thought, hey, this whole thing, this is gonna make me happy. And a house, a nice house. And I've got friends that have, that lived in some of the nicest houses in Orlando. And knowing them and having talked to them, been in a relationship with this guy, being a close confidant. I know that the house had nothing to do with his equation of happiness. The house, a car, anything that's materialism has zero to do with your level happiness in your life. So you gotta avoid the trap of materialism. Let's see. Along with that, if you fall in that trap, you'll make the fourth mistake. Is amassing personal debt. Man, we live in the culture where you can buy everything on credit. No one sells anything on price anymore. Everything is sold over time. And that's been the way for about 30 or 40 years. Marketers, salespeople tell you, hey, when you see the car commercial in little, let's show you the number of the price of the car, but in the car commercials, what's always the thing that they advertise? Drive this for 449 a month. You can lease this car for 399 a month. So they sell it on payments in time. People are like, hey, man, I'll sign up for that. I'll sign up for some debt. So I've driven nice cars and I've driven beaters. I've gone from the beaters I drove in college to driving nice cars to realizing, hey, that's not that important. So I'm gonna drive a car that's paid for it. If I have to fix it every now and then, that's fine. But the car, again, has nothing to do with your equation of happiness. It has nothing to do with the level of woman that you're gonna attract to your life. It has nothing to do with the level of friends that you're gonna have, true good friends that you have in your life. So you have to be careful of that. Some of the things in your 20s that you collect for college loans, if you wanna go to grad school, people instead of working and putting themselves through or trying hard to get a scholarship, I'm just, I'm gonna get a student loan to go to grad school. I'm gonna put the stuff on my charge card, credit card debt, car loans. My rule is that I should have stuck to before I met my ex-wife. Hopefully she won't see this. It's on the internet, maybe she will. But if you can't, you probably, maybe you guys have a grandfather that went through the depression or maybe a great, great grandfather. Hope I'm not that old. But if you can't pay cash, you don't need it. If you live by that maxim, your whole life, if you get involved with a woman who becomes a long-term relationship and you have living together, if you can ingrain that in your brain and she's on the same book and the page, you guys will have a huge amount of financial success. You should. If you don't have, can't pay cash for it, you don't need it. The only time that I think borrowing is good for you or leverage is for a business venture that's gonna make you a profit. You're pretty certain about it. Borrowing money for a risky venture is stupid because there's all kinds of people that are willing to take your money. But if you've got a good solid business plan, you've got a team of people put together and you know that this thing is, everybody's gonna put 100% effort into making it work. That's not a bad time. I borrowed money for business. Capital's easy to raise in America. If you're a sharp guy and you've got good ideas and a good solid business plan, you can go out and you can find people that will, there's, to raise a million or $2 million of capital, it's not a lot of money these days. But if you've got a business venture, it's easy to find that. If you've got a good plan, if you're on the ball. And that's probably the only time to borrow money in your 20s. If you did that, you've got a good business plan. The other thing about amassing personal debt, you say, well, you know, I understand the car. I'll just drive the car that I have. I'll pay cash for it. That's good. I'll fix it. Because in the long run, fixing the cars is as much as making the monthly payment. And you're not indebted to it. But you know, a house, a mortgage is a good idea. Who's got the cash to buy a house? Man, I see this house and it's decent. In today's market, it's 250,000. You know, I can't be wrong, get a mortgage. And what have we found the past couple of years? Getting a mortgage is not. Housing values don't always appreciate. You know, we've seen them drop off. Most of the markets, especially in Orlando, we haven't even hit the bottom yet. You know, it's another 12 months before it hits the bottom. So people are going out and buying houses. Now they're going to be hit another 12 months. People are trying to jump off their sinking ships, foreclosures, short sales. So the mortgage is not always a guaranteed thing. The house is not always going to go up in value. A house that you live in is not an investment. If you ever, Amy has ever heard of Robert Kiyosaki? Rich dad, poor dad. Cash flow quadrant. He's got a line, a bunch of books. Great books to read for you for money, for financial. But the house you live in is not an investment. And we've learned that in the past few years. A house that you buy and rent out with a positive cash flow and you get depreciation that you're writing off on your taxes, now that's an investment, but your house is not. The other thing with amassing personal debt, or getting a mortgage, or getting a car loan, is that it ties you down to one location. When you're in your 20s and you're not married, and you're not in a long-term relationship with a woman, or you don't have any kids, this is the time to see the world and to travel. And if you've got bills that you have to pay here, if you've got a car payment you gotta make, you're upside down in, if you find that you wanna move, you'd be surprised when you wanna have a little freedom and move to a different city, maybe take another job opportunity. Well, I'm chained to this house here, wow. It used to be that that was a sign of success, but not anymore, I mean a sign is a paid-off mortgage. That is, that's the guy on the radio, he's got the financial radio, he says, hey, that's the new, it's not the BMW that you're driving, it's a sign of your success, it's the paid-off mortgage. So a mortgage is not a sure bet, it's a chain. And you can be mobile if you're not tied down to debt. So amassing personal debt, besides the pressure that it puts on your life, it forces you to stay in a job, maybe I hate this, I wanna try a new opportunity, I wanna start a new business, but I got all this debt that I have to make this monthly nut, I gotta crack. So that is the fourth thing. The fifth thing, the mistake to avoid in your 20s is fanaticism for a group of people. Fanaticism for a cause sometimes is okay, because there's some really good causes out there. I've got friends that go and do, like they do the doctors without borders things. That's really, that's a great cause. Good to be charged up, fired up about it. But a lot of people, excuse me, in their 20s, get this fanaticism, were idealistic. So a lot of times, you've seen this, I know everybody has got a friend that they knew in high school, maybe at the college. It became a religious fanatic. Show of hands, anybody have a friend that happened to? Yeah, you're like, God, they went off the deep end. Maybe they joined a cult, maybe they joined a really strict religious sect of some denomination, they're like, I don't drink anymore, I don't do this anymore. All my time is spent with this group of people. And what it is, it's maybe not that God's a bad cause. It's maybe it's not that a political cause is bad. But what happens is people get fanatic about a group of people. And that's usually what happens when you see somebody become, hey, they've become a religious fanatic. All they're hanging out was this group of people. You're like, man, I lost my friend to that group. And what happens, you'll find over time, 20 years from your 20s, when you get into 40s, you realize that people always let you down. I mean, your friends will come and go out of your life. And if you devote all this energy after this group of people, they will eventually let you down. They will hurt your feelings. You'll be disenchanted with them. You'll be like, I'm going this way. You guys are over here, I'm out of this group. So it's hard to see. And the only way really to avoid that is to have a group of close friends that are going to tell you the truth. They're going to speak the truth into your life and say, hey, man, this group's kind of crazy. So you kind of want to avoid that. The past few years, we've been so polarized in America. The political divide is very partisan now. We've got people on the left. We've got people on the right. People on the right hate the people on the left. Everybody wants to come to the middle. Well, just can't get along. So being fanatic about political causes too eat up a lot of your energy. And it's so bitter right now in our country with the whole politics. And in your 20s, if you're taking time to spend too much of that, it's okay to devote time and energy. But you want to make sure that you're not neglecting your friends, the family that you have, or your career. It's very important to not neglect those things in your 20s. So find a good cause that doesn't consume you, but try to avoid the fanaticism. Number six, a mistake to avoid in your 20s is not completing a formal education. When it's the golden time when you graduate from college, and hopefully you do that by the time you're 20, 21, maybe 22, it is the time to continue your education. You think, man, I just got through this. Because what will happen as soon as you get a career, as soon as you get a long-term relationship, if you have a kid, you get married, you start amassing some personal debt, or you get a house, you have these things now, you've got people that depend on you around you. Going back to school to complete your master's degree is very difficult to do. When you got to go and do that, then you got to go to class a few nights a week, and then you're trying to do these projects. So I see a lot of guys do that like, man, I'm done, I got my degree, that's good. But in this economy these days, and I don't think anymore, I've had my own businesses, I've been entrepreneur, I've been very independent for about 18 years, but I've had my own businesses for the past 10 years. I don't think in terms of I need a master's degree because it's gonna look good on my resume because I want somebody to hire me. Because the same thing, companies aren't loyal anymore to you. But I think in terms of raising capital for a business that you like, because I'm sure you guys are sitting in this room are probably far more entrepreneurial than other guys your age that are not sitting here trying to figure out how to become smarter, stronger, faster, leaner, do better with people, have a more successful life. You guys are more entrepreneurial. So I think your formal education is a good experience and now the minimum is like the master's degree. Used to be 20 years ago, you had a college that did this good, but now if you don't get out and have a master's degree, you're not gonna capture anybody's attention, especially if you have a really good business idea. So I'm gonna say, hey, what's your education background? You say, hey, well, I got my undergraduate from this school and then I went back and I got this master's degree. Let me share my business plan with you. It's a little more credence to it other than let me just, I got this really good idea. So it's helpful, but now's the time to do it, not to wait until your 30s, going back to school. Online degrees, the online master's really aren't worth the paper they're printed on. I don't know how Phoenix University, I don't know how their football team did this year, but it's kind of the same thing. If they don't have a football team, they're probably just a diploma mill. So I laugh at people, all right, I'm getting my master's and where are you getting it? Oh, I'm doing it online. Great. So was it Phoenix University? They have a football stadium named after them but no football team, something like that. So finish your education. It's important. All the other stuff comes very demanding and education will be on the backburn and it'll be a pain, but now get it done, get it out of the way. That was number six, number seven. Something to avoid in your 20s is you get out of school, you get a career, you get a business get going and you kind of get lazy in your, being lazy with your associations and that's really the people that you invite to come into your life or the kind of people that you pursue in your life. And a key to most successful people that I know in my age is they always sought out somebody that knew a little bit more about them than a particular area. Let's say I want to go into the software business and I've dabbled in it before. Let me go find somebody that's actually started a software company and got successful to it, been with it. This guy's got a trucking company. Let me go talk to him about what that's like. This guy was a real estate investor. Let me go talk to him and you'll seek out people that are smarter than you and they've been down the road a little bit more and if you ask somebody who is successful, we'll say, man, how did you make all your money? And inevitably they'll say, you mean the first time or the second time? Because everybody who achieves some success generally loses their first fortune. Yeah, they may lose it too. A failing economy, a corrupt business partner, a lot of guys I know have lost their business to their ex-wife, their spouse. There's no women in the room so I can use the male gender for everything. Okay. So you can't be lazy. You always gotta be seeking out new people, seek out new friendships. You see somebody who's sharp, man, I like to hang out with that guy, invite him. Be the one who initiates. I know that if I wanna hang out with people, my guys, my buddies, I'm like, hey, what's everybody doing tonight? Let's get together, let's do this. Don't be lazy in that. Chasing guys, it's not a different thing. With women, don't text them. But if you have friends, be the one who initiates. Be the social ring leader. Be the one who puts people together. Be the guy that, hey, I'm bringing this group of people together and you'll become the social leader on that. That translates into every year of your life. If you're able to do that socially, then you'll be surprised how well that translates into bringing people together in a business sense. You wanna bring some investors together. I've been doing this in my social life all along. I've been initiating this, bringing guys together. I learned how to invite a bunch of people to a happy hour and sit down and have a conversation with them. I've learned how to work the room. Now guess what? You get a business idea. You wanna get into business. That skill translates right in to being able to, hey, I can bring a group of investors together. I can talk to these guys. I know how to relate to them. I can talk to them. Because all business is done on a friendship level. You gotta have a good idea, but the trust for somebody to hand over the money or somebody to say, hey, I'm gonna come alongside of you. Let's go make money. Let's be successful doing this. It's gonna come back to their ability to trust you. Or they feel connected to you in a social and a friendship level. So you wanna seek out wise menors. You don't wanna be lazy with staying in touch with your best friends, staying in touch with your family. Those family connections when you're older will become so important to you. You don't wanna neglect those in the 20s. Okay, pardon? 30 minutes. Good, excellent. So be the one who initiates with your family, with your friends. Seek out guys that are smarter, faster, stronger, wiser, more successful. And you'll take that stuff in. All right, the last three points. Number eight, the mistake to avoid in your 20s is not taking care of your body. Some day you will like, if I knew I was gonna live this long, what's the teacher say? If I knew I was gonna live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. So someday you will be 45 and you'll be like, I wish I wouldn't have done that. I wish I wouldn't have done this. So just to put a little even more commercial for being here on Saturday, probably the most important day of the whole convention would be, well, there. Those speakers come about health and nutrition. Mark, Drew Bay, Doug McGuff. Now I was just talking with Alex earlier about this, that if I would have got ahold of this stuff in my 20s, it would have been great. I've probably been running, up until I stopped running about a year ago, I've been a runner basically for 30 years. And now I'm so surprised that you think that you're gonna have your knees forever that when you squat down, you'll be able to spring back up. Not so, these things wear out, your shoulders wear out, your hips wear out, things like that happen over time. So you wanna take care of your body. So we have this thing, what's happening now is you've never heard of boomeritis. That's the thing that affects the baby boom generation now. We got the aerobic craze that came along and everybody started running and jogging, doing aerobics, high impact stuff on your knees. Now the smartest thing is the high intensity training, which is low impact. But listen to these guys, I'll tell you more about it. Some of the things that Anthony said to me today is, man, gosh, you've lost even more weight. Did it solely by changing the training and the diet, exercising less and eating better. So, Anthony's talked about it on the website, but the whole Paleolithic diet, if you will, it's golden, it's amazing. You guys really should take the time to research it on your own, read all the articles. Primal Blueprint, that's his book? Yeah, that's the book to get and read. It's amazing. And you tell people, they just get kind of crazy. You say, listen, I eat a low carb, high fat diet. I don't eat multigrains, I don't eat wheat bread, I don't eat all this stuff. What do you, oh, I like butter, half and half, bacon, grease. They're just looking at you like you're crazy. You're gonna, oh, they'll say, well, you know, talk to me in five years when you have a heart attack. But check out this stuff this week when they're gonna share, get the books, read them, do the research, read the hard materials, the guys that break down the studies and make a decision for your own. But take a carry body. Let me just tell you, when you get to be 40, and it's sad to say, maybe you guys will avoid it, probably be a number of guys in this room that in their 40s will be divorced, will have between one and three kids. You'll be paying child support, you'll pay an alimony. And you'll find yourself back on the market, hopefully not chasing girls again, that's the phrase. You're not chasing girls again. You'll be out there again trying to meet women and see who's attracted to you. And let me tell you, it is a lot easier to find younger, hotter women when you are six foot tall and you weigh about a buck 70 and you look more like a Lance Armstrong than you look like a Howie Mandel. So, big difference there. My friend was just remarking today. He's like, aren't you glad? My friend's a personal trainer and he told me, two years ago, I'm hanging out with him. He looks at me and goes, you should lose 20 pounds. I told him the F off. We're on TV, I can't say that. He's like, hey, it's not my business, I'm just a personal trainer. So, I ignored him for about six months and then I finally got a hold of him. I'm like, well, okay, what do I do? Let me try this, I was doing all the crazy exercise, all that stuff four times a week. I'm wearing myself out, tired from it. He's like, change your diet, go down to exercising, high intensity one time a week. Lost the weight and then now he's like, he's like, see the women that are attracted to you isn't there a difference? I'm like, man, you're totally right. When you take care of your body and you find yourself in your 40s and you're still in the game of wanting women to be attracted to you, it's a lot easier to do it when your body's in good shape. You let it go in your 20s, the 30s sneak up on you and you go, man, when I graduated high school, I weighed 130 pounds. You're like, when I graduated from college, I weighed 155 pounds. And you go, man, I'm in my mid 30s and I weigh 190, 195. You've got friends who big and they tip the scale over 200 and you're like, wow. It's nothing good about being a Clydesdale. So, gotta take care of your body. Number nine. In your 20s, let's see, how do I, I know a guy, I won't say any more about it because then he may find this. I don't think I was talking trash about it. I've known this guy for a long time. It's known in the room. And he's 21 and he is traveling overseas this month to see if this relationship with this woman is gonna work out. And he's a really bright guy. He's got an international education. Yeah, he's multilingual. He's got, you just look at this guy, he's good looking, he's athletic. You're like, you have the world by the tail. And all he can see, because of the way he was raised, his boy sees hot girl, she's foreign. And I talk to people that know him and I say, don't you just wanna grab him and like shake him. Say, what are you doing? What are you looking all this around you? Why are you chasing? But he's not open himself to other paradigms, other ways of looking at it. So he is spending huge amounts of time and effort to see this thing. And obviously, if she's not coming here to see him, how attracted is she to him? Not very much. He's setting the stage for a woeful heartbreak, heartache. If it stays together, it's just gonna be terrible because when it finally gets ripped apart at the seams, it's just gonna be bloody and brutal. But anyways, when I was 20, I wanna go back to what I said before. When I was 21, I thought that I knew everything. You couldn't tell me anything. I worked my way through college, I finished debt-free, I'm embarking on this career. I was a religious fanatic. You can't tell me anything because I know all the answers. I know all this. I don't hear it from you. I know where I'm going. But when you limit your exposure to new ideas, usually when you finish college, you get tired of reading. You get tired of, oh man, I've been forced to add all the stuff I gotta read. I just wanna take some time off. But you should start, in your 20s, you should start making your collection of books because books will go out of print, very good books. Some of the ones I recommend that you read, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. That book's about 25 years old now. It's a masterful piece on developing yourself about relationships. It's great, good principles. Guy had a lot of success in his life. Good guy to listen to. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Financially, some books called The Millionaire Next Door. The book called The Millionaire Mind. Written by the same, I think it's two Harvard professors. They wrote a book, and they didn't tell you how to get rich, but they said, this is all the common traits the millionaires in America have. I'll give you an excerpt out of the book. What do you think is the most common vehicle that a millionaire in America drives? Anybody? A Toyota. A what? A Toyota. It's on the list. Civic on the list. A Ford F-150 pickup truck. Maybe that doesn't make sense, all right. So the ranchers or guys that got their own business or contractors, no. It's because they made a wise choice. It's a truck is one of the vehicles that hardly ever loses its value. You go out and buy a truck that still runs good. Those things hardly ever lose their value. They last forever because they're built tough. But initially, you read that book and you see, wow, these are how people make their decisions. Maybe I can make some of those decisions in my life that way. That's a good one. Here's another book. I'm wearing my little Lance Armstrong thing. Tour de France this week. His farewell tour. It's really cool. He's got a book called It's Not About the Bike. It's a bit really, and it's not about the bike. It's more about his fight with cancer. It's a great book. Some people love him, hate him. Some people want to see him do really well to be arrested the next day. He's being investigated for doping now. But you go back and look at the guy. No matter how he got to his level of success, maybe he doped, maybe he didn't. There's a big controversy about that. The guy wasn't totally selfish. I mean, he set up this foundation for cancer. He provides a lot of hope. Show of hands in the room. Does anybody know anybody who is their family who's got cancer or died of cancer? Yeah, exactly. So you look at a guy like Lance Armstrong. Read his book. It's really cool. It's not about the bike. That's a great book. He wrote a second book called, his second book was Seconds Count. It's more about the tours. That's a really good one. Be inspired by those things. So some books, I bought a book a few years ago, and I don't even think you get it now. Maybe you buy it on eBay. You guys may have seen this story. It's two guys, a father and son. The son was born a spastic quadriplegic, Dick and Ricky Hoyt. And when the son was born, they decided they weren't gonna send him off. And those days back in the 60s, kids with severe handicaps were institutionalized. But this guy said, no way. He and his wife decided we're gonna do everything. No use of his arms, legs, no vocal skills, related to tenancy eight words. But they took him and started doing everything with the family, stick him in the canoe. What do you do when you're a dad, and you got young kids in the canoe and everybody swims? Yeah, you tip the canoe over. Everything, they had to pick him up and scoop him out of the water, but they said all the experiences that guy's gonna have, we're gonna have this kid. Well, the end of the story is that they started doing races, then they started doing marathons, then they started doing Ironman. And I don't know how many times they've completed the Ironman in Hawaii. But this guy puts his son in a little dingy rubber raft, swims, whatever, it's two and a half miles. Then he sticks him on the bike and they ride. And then he puts his son in the cart and pushes him. It does the whole thing that everybody else does. It passes, guys. But he wrote a book, if you can get your hands on it, it's called It's Only a Mountain. And it's a kick in the butt book. You just think, wow, man, I got these obstacles in my life. Kudos to Anthony because he's got coconut-sized cajones and he says, I'm gonna do this, come hell or high water. And it's a stubborn resilience that's gonna serve him well. It's probably gonna hurt him a little bit along the way. But this is the same thing this guy said, hey, I'm gonna do this. Nothing's gonna stand in my way. It's Only a Mountain, that's a good book. And I think I had a blog article once about different books that I've read that have influenced me. But this is some of the good ones. But the point of that is, you don't wanna limit your exposure to new paradigms. You wanna be associated with people that can bring you new ideas. You wanna always try and to up, maybe there's points on here. You always wanna try to improve the quality of people that are in your life. That kinda comes to the final point, is that one other thing on that, limiting your exposure. Now in your 20s is the time not to mask personal debt, to be chained to a car payment or a mortgage. Maybe even chained to a career that you're really not sure about. Now's the time to travel the world a little bit. You'll never be as free as you are right now to go and see things and do things. You can travel so cheaply on your own. But mind, he's not here today. He lost his job and he went on unemployment. It was a commercial real estate company that went out of business. He had a good job with him. He claims unemployment. He's like, I can stay here and look for a job or I got an employment business for a few months. So he actually went to Columbia and lived for like a month. Experienced culture. Now's the time to do it. If you had a wife, kids, car, house payment, couldn't do it. Those things chain you down. You say, hey, I wanna go there, but ah. Stuck with this car, gotta sell it. Stuck with this mortgage, can't move. So don't limit yourself by chaining yourself to things that really don't matter in life. Travel is the big thing. When you go to other countries and you see how people live, you see simplicity and happiness, you see how women in other countries treat men who come back to America and go, how did we get so far off? Feminism, that was a big one. And then the feminist movement came along and guys decided they were gonna be emasculated. Probably our grandfathers and great-grandfathers would look at us these days and just shake their heads and go, oh man. As I said in the community tapes, back then, men knew their role and women knew the role and it didn't cross very much, you know. And women will say, watch this and go, well, that's really crap because we deserve as much opportunity. But you admit that most of the problems in American culture come down to women trying to fill roles that are traditional men. It's very politically incorrect, good. And then men convalescing, acquiescing their role as leaders and accepting that. And say, oh, it's really cool that my wife works. How great is that? We got a nanny for the kids and do this and do that. She's so independent. Yeah, wait till she's tired of your ass. Okay, it's painful. It will happen. It will happen to many people in this room. So I don't know, I've got friends that have made it to almost 40, never been married, no kids. And I say, what do you think? Do you want kids? And I'm like, you know, you have to decide that. It's not a bad, you gotta take your life and define it how you want. So number 10, coming down to that. Mistake to making your 20s. And I stole this. Here's a question. Oh, another guy on that list of people. Get anything you can get your hands on by a guy named Jim Rohn, R-O-H-N. He just died last year. Brilliant man. He's a businessful, American business philosopher. His stuff is golden. Probably the most, he was a contemporary of Zig Ziglar. Everybody's heard of Zig Ziglar. If you're in sales, you've heard of him. He's a great guy. Jim Rohn was contemporary. Zig Ziglar always said that, hey, it's gotta be attitude. And Jim Rohn was always about education. He's like, you know, if you take somebody, you get them all hyped up and charged up. They're just a really excited idiot. You gotta educate them, too. So they gotta be charged up, excited about life and going after these things, but they gotta be educated, too. So they're not just a fanatic about it. And then you can't have somebody who's just educated that doesn't have the attitude to go with it. Because, you know, they're the stodgy technician that does get along with people and difficult. So Jim Rohn reads Zig Ziglar's books, too. If you're in sales, everybody eventually makes a deline of sales. You've got guys in all different variety, walks of life. But everything will get down to sales. You know, when you go out and you do pick up. It's really sales and the stuff of not chasing actually translated into sales that I do. You don't want to be the sales person, hey, trying to chase the customer, the client. Man, get with a product or a company or somebody that has value and then you introduce yourself and you step back. And you know confidently, hey, I got the best thing going. You can come to me. So many times you see sales people chasing. But anyways, back to that. There's a guy, a famous sales trainer called Brian Tracy. If you get a hold of his tapes, he does a lot of DVDs and audio files that you can listen to. But anyways, he asked this in his seminar. What is the number one waste of time? In your 20s, what's the number one waste of time? Answers. Facebook. Facebook, that's pretty good. What number one waste of time? TV. That's a good one. Generally a waste of time. Sleep too much. Sleep too much, right? Yeah, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Those are good things. Number one waste of time is staying in a bad relationship. You could just ingrain that in your brain. You will save yourself so much time, energy, effort. I see my friends in bad, I've seen them in bad relationships. And you all know somebody's been in bad relationships. You may have grown up in a home that was a bad relationship. And what is the old saying is that every kid would rather be from a broken home than live in one. It's kind of the same way. Why do you want to stick around in a broken relationship that doesn't work? Oh well, you know, she moved in to help me pay the mortgage payment. She moved in to help me pay the rent. You know, it's cheaper to, then the things go sour and you're now stuck with this person. So here's the signs. I'm gonna hit a bullet point that we'll do a Q and A. Red flags in a relationship. I've got a lot of this stuff in my blog. This is in my blog archives. You can go back. But if you see yourself in this anytime, or you see friends say, man, wake up, these are red flags. Arguments, poor communication, or lying of any kind. One of my early business partners, I used to say this with clients. You get a difficult client right out of the gate and you're like, and we would always say if this is the honeymoon, I can't wait to see how the marriage is gonna be. So if it's really bad in the first stages in the first few months, personal experience, you can have a relationship with a woman for two or three years and never have an argument. There are women out there like that. So don't think, oh, we have a healthy debate about things. No, not really. Okay, so arguments, poor communication, lying bad. Jealousy or suspicion? If she doesn't let you have boys night out, if she just tries to keep you from your friends, you can say, hey, Friday night, boys night out, I'm going with my friends, we're gonna hang out, we're gonna talk trash, solve the world's problems, we're gonna get drunk and flirt with girls. Seriously, you may not say I'm gonna get drunk and flirt with girls. You say, yeah, we're gonna drink, we're gonna drink some Irish whiskey, we're gonna do some Jack. It's just a couple of guys who've seen me on that downtown. Maybe not say, hey, I'm gonna flirt with girls, but they know, they know you're gonna hang out with your friends, if they're single friends, they know what's gonna happen. It's implicit, they'll accept it. If it's a good woman, she'll accept it. If she's like jealous and doesn't want you going out with your buddies or tries to keep you to herself, huge red flag, it's because it's only gonna get worse. Someday you decide to get married and have kids, whether you wanna go play golf on Saturday with your buddies, guess what? No, you're not. She'll say, I worked hard all week, here's the kid, your turn. I'm gonna go have breakfast with my girlfriends, she'll say. And you're like, what? You know, I'm gonna go to the YMCA and take a long run and work out, you stay with the kids. But my friends, no, you set the stage for it. So don't, you know, snip that in the bud. She's gone, jealousy, or she's suspicious of you? Physical or emotional abuse of any kind? I mean, that's to say, but you know what? So many guys get so wrapped up in a woman that they'll put up with that. You know, if there's ever any slapping or hitting, man, it's just red sign, red flag, and you think it's crazy, but there's some really hot chicks out there that think you're crazy, you know? And maybe that's not on you, but she picks up a vase and throws it across the room and crashes. She gets upset in a tirade and a red flag. It's only gonna get worse from there. You can't change or you can't change people. What you see is what you get. She may mature some, but she's gonna be the person she is. Look at her mom, that's how you tell. I'd love to meet your mom. When can we meet your mom? If you get serious about a girl, find out. That's as soon as you wanna do. If I wanna hang out with a girl more than one occasion, I'm like, tell them, tell them it's your parents. How's your relationship with your mom? I hate her, can't stand her. All right, we don't talk. Oh, my mom's crazy. She's been married three times. I'm like, thank you for that information. The acorn never falls far from the tree exactly. Look at your dad. You wanna figure out what you're gonna be like? 10 minutes? You wanna know what you're gonna be like? Get your dad. You know, if you grew up in the household, if it wasn't absentee dad, it's scary. You're in your, when I turned 40, I'm like, God. So my dad, I said, I didn't think 40 was, I used to think 40 was old. He's like, I used to think 70 was old. I'm like, you know what? 70's not old anymore to me. That's only 30 years away, then it's closer now. All right, hop back to this. Red flags, just so important. There's probably lack of proper boundaries for the management of time and or money. You take any person, male or female, the way they manage time is exactly the way they manage money. If they are hairy, scary, they show up late, they're never on time, they over commit to things, guess what they do with their money? It's the same things. People manage time and money in about the same ways. They really do. Someone's tight protects the time, they're probably really good with protecting their money. So you look at that woman. If she has really issues with time management or money management, and if a woman ever has any, if she is like in debt to her gills, she's materialistic, you know, you don't wanna stick with her. She may be fun. Girls are fun. You girls watching this. You like to play games with guys as much as you like to play games with you. It is so true. Women do that. Surprise, surprise. Any woman that has extreme need for approval, same thing, go back to what her parents, how they raised her. She needy, ugh, needy women. Clingy, ugh. You want the ones they're happy to talk to you when they talk to you, they don't need to talk to you all the time. If she has any kind of controlling behavior, that goes back to jealousy, suspicion. She wants to manage your time as well as hers. She wants to be with you all the time. She wants to know where you are, what you're doing. Controlling behavior, red flag. You don't wanna be in a long-term relationship with her. And then if she has any fear of losing a relationship, ugh, don't you hate that? You meet a girl and the second time you hang out with her, she's talking about being exclusive. So, I had that bomb dropped on me and not too long ago and I was telling my friend about it and we're laughing about it. And he's like, man, didn't you just wanna say to her, I mean, I just met you. This is the second time we're ever hanging out and you're asking me if we're gonna be exclusive? So, you know, there's a woman who's afraid of losing something before it even becomes anything. So, those red flags, you don't wanna waste time on a bad relationship, that hurts. So, those are the top 10 mistakes. If you didn't write them all down, you know, there's probably a couple of them that you can like, oh, I wrote down, that's good. Not everybody has all of them. But you can go back and watch the DVD online when it comes out, eventually someday, and go back through. So, that's all I have for you today. I'll be hanging around a little bit too if you ask questions, but I'll open it now. We have a few minutes for questions. People always sit up front. I'll always pay attention to ask good questions. Okay, so my question is about, when you're talking about staying in a bad relationship, and what are your views with, say, a bad relationship with your parents? Oh, you know, that's a really good question. When you get older, and I've not lost my parents yet, so I'm very fortunate. But I have a lot of friends who have, and you don't wanna leave things unsaid. And I'll give you a quick story. My dad was never a hugger. He was just, I knew the way my grandparents were raised. They were very reserved in their emotions. My dad was never a hugger. And in my mid-20s, I decided that my dad's gonna start hugging everybody in the family. So it was tough the first few times I'd hug him, but it took about maybe a month or two months. And now, man, he is, everybody in the family, he hugs him. He wasn't raised that way, so he didn't know that that was okay to do, it was okay for a guy to do that. So the point of the story is that you can take the initiative to kind of restore the relationship. You mean they have a bad relationship together, or yours and theirs? Mine and theirs. Mine and theirs. They're probably writing what they told you. You just too pig-headed to listen. Sorry, I was. But no, go to your parents. It's kind of designed in nature that they've been down the road a little bit further. Your parents probably know you better because they've known you since this. They know how you are, they see your blind spots. So whatever you can do to restore the relationship, you won't regret it. I mean, if you make the effort and they turn you down, you know, try again in a few months, make the effort again. Eventually, they'll come around. You know, no one wants to die old and alone. We don't want, and when you get older, you're gonna appreciate the timing of your parents even more. Good question. All right, I really enjoyed your speech, especially the part about the crazy mom, because I recently, I had thought I'd figured all the red flags, and I missed the crazy mom one, and that ended up being the fatal flaw there. But one of the things you brought up was if, you know, you see a friend in a bad relationship saying something to them, that's something I've actually avoided in the past because I've seen that back blow up against me many, many times. How would you approach that? That's a good way, that's a very good question, Greg. Good to see you too. How would you approach that? I think with your friends, like being the one who is the social leader or the initiator, you gotta set the tone in all your relationships with people. A lot of people come from kind of banged up relationships, banged up friendships. Our culture's really different. Guys aren't supposed to be really close in America. You know, we're supposed to talk about sports. I can honestly say that, and this is the answer to your question, I honestly say that when I hang out with my buddies, we rarely talk about the football team or this and that. Actually, we're talking about relationships will kill in your life. Where are you doing? Where are you going? What's happening? What's happening to this situation? So you kind of have to be the leader when you set up your relationships that you disclose things of your own life. You know, hey man, I'm in this, I screwed up this way. That's the best way to have something close to you. If it's a confidant, somebody can trust a man. I really screwed the pooch the other day on this one. And hopefully that's not referring to a girl I met, right? I screwed that pooch now. They're like, what were you thinking? So he told the other day, it's a young guy and I worked with him. And he's like, ah, first time, first time we ever went to a bar out by the University of Central Florida. He's like, man, I was dancing with this girl. We're all hanging out. And he goes, and then we went to stake and shake afterwards and they walked in. They're like, that girl's got no teeth, dude. He's like, oh, I was dancing with her. She had teeth, but they're like really small. Her grill was messed up. But you need friends to tell you that before and go, man, come here, what are you doing? But you have to set the tone of the relationship. You have to disclose yourself, your weaknesses to your friends and build that kind of relationship. I did that with a friend of mine. Two of us had an intervention a couple of years ago seeing that he was in a bad relationship. We saw all these warning signs right into it. And we're like, what are you thinking? And we're like, it's okay for guys, if you've got a guy close to say, man, I remember one of my buddies was sitting at this table with three of us. He says, I love you, dude. But your girlfriend is a, and you fell in the blank. I can't say it on TV. The worst word that you can call a girl. He's like, I love you, man, but your girlfriend starts with a C. So a lot of times, a guy may jump across the table and if he doesn't do that, he might say, screw you. I mean, kind of friend or you. You got to do that. So you got to set the climate and your relationships for honesty. And then you got to ask for it. You got to ask your friends. You got to tell them things and they'll tell you when you're screwing up. And they'll say, by the way, hey, you know what, you should lose 20 pounds. And then, so if you listen to your friends, good question though. You got to set the climate, set the tone. So basically all the stuff, a lot of stuff in your life that comes down to embracing your role as a leader. You guys have a chance of being leaders because you're sitting in here trying to improve your life. Other guys don't even think about this stuff. They watch ESPN, they do this, they go out to drink, they chase girls. Literally, you know, they do the neediness. And they never think about change the whole paradigm. So kudos to you guys for doing that. It's not popular in our culture to be the leader. It's not popular to be the initiator. Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's like a little nervous, nerve wracking. I'm gonna do that. Sometimes it doesn't matter sitting back and being patient and waiting for a girl to chase you. But all the time you think, hey, I'm the leader, I'm gonna set the tone for what my relationships are gonna look like. And then I'm gonna set the stage for what I want the rest of my life to look like. So, and thanks. Thanks for your time today. Great audience. Great audience. Great audience. Give it up. Hello. All right, awesome. All right, good job, man. Yeah, beware of messed up grills. Exactly, too. Messed up grills and messed up grills. Awesome. All right, now cool. For everybody watching at home, go to the next video. Ding. And for you guys here.