 The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you. You sad pathetic humps Joining us is Micah Fox. She's no stranger to this show. She's just a stranger to good wholesome decent Humanity, right? I do my best. Hi. Hi, Micah Fox. You have a great podcast called This Week in Jacken Yes, thank you where people talk about what they masturbate to Which brings me to Mike Lawrence. Hi. I've been on the show I talked about my love of stepmother stepdaughter interracial threesome Lindsay Goldworth is back with us. Hello, and and Lindsay has a new podcast called spent which is all about money Yes, and it's also how I feel after I listened to this week in Jacken So let me do the introductions here. Let me first introduce Micah, okay, okay Micah is a very funny comedian. Have you ever seen her perform? Yeah, Mike Lawrence. Yes, I've known Micah for years I don't think you know how funny she is Tell him David Where are you gonna be performed you're gonna be are you gonna be roasting the room? Yeah, the movie the room infamously bad from what I understand I went to see it once but I was like two stone and had a panic attack in the theater and had to leave So this will be the my first time Sober and I'll be resting with mr. Frank Connick from mystery size You know they're doing one tonight. That's tonight. Oh, but the people listening to this. Yeah, you blew it. Yeah Yeah, but you know, I've been asked to come they're gonna be doing it Chris Gersbach. Yes, who's Fantastic a fantastic human being it really is and you're gonna make fun of the movie How do you make fun of something that's already funny? Well, I mean we've been doing with the Republican debates for months now So, you know, I think I don't we'll see maybe maybe it'll live on its own, okay Mike Lawrence is new to this show. Right. Yeah, he is a New York based comedian Who is writing on the upcoming season? Oh, by the way, this is why I'm doing the intro I'm gonna read it and then get progressively jealous. Okay, so I'm gonna start this is I this is an acting exercise for me So first I'm gonna start off condescending and okay, and then as I read your resume Get bitter and then start crying. Okay. Okay, Mike Lawrence is a New York based comedian Who's writing on the upcoming season of inside Amy Schumer? Really and it's written on the 2015 MTV movie awards the your jills about that one 2015 webby awards This is how out of touch David is as he starts with the big guns Yeah, and then he slowly like dwindles down your IMDB page. What a second You've you wrote on we have issues on e For episodes for full episodes known as e-programming for the first two weeks on your DVR You're also a tremendous stand-up comic. You've been on at midnight Your stand-up has been featured on late night with Seth Meyers TBS is Conan FX is totally biased and John Oliver's New York stand-up show and Comedy Central Yeah, your half-hour special for Comedy Central aired two years ago alongside the release of your album now, let me see if I'm pronouncing this properly, okay? Sedumantium nope, my name is Sadamantium Sadamantium, okay, is that Adam Antium is the metal and Wolverine's claws and I'm depressing Okay, yeah, you know what your people like my people album album title Now aren't about reaching as many people as possible that are about being as narrow and niche as possible and Getting the five people that still buy CDs to purchase it. Yes. It's a long tail. Yeah How long have you been doing stand-up there Mike ten years ten years and when did you get funny? Two years from now Where'd you start? Florida and Word out we're all where will I die Florida? Is comedy in your jeans. Yeah, my mom was a comic. What's that like having a mother who was a stand-up comic? It's fine It's weird growing up because I I've always I think a lot of people now especially with like Starting because of podcast a lot of comics start because of that they look at it. It's purely an art form And I've always seen it as a business and I think that's been healthy. Mm-hmm and your mom Has been doing stand-up for how long was she stopped? But she was doing it for about like 15 years before or after you were born After how many years into your life that she's become two years So you were two years old the terrible tools though jealous No, I find it kind of interesting. Yeah, I'm trying to make Micah jealous. This is like Lindsay Gold word is here. This is like every Minaj a chois I've been the victim of where two people go off and leave me standing For once I'd like to be in a room with three other people that not just have it be called a monage au tois, but yes Actually, they're four people in this, but I don't speak French. What would three other? Yeah, I don't know where okay, but very quickly I think it's quat, but that sounds a little dirty, right? Quat quat. Yeah, I actually don't know French But I got cut there you go You mean having a I'd be into that you know for oh, I thought was like having it with a feline Yes, it's very French. Yes, invite the cat was it your so Micah has this great bit about doing cocaine with her father Which is one of the funniest things? There's a level of intimacy that both you guys have had with your parents that I have never shared doing cocaine or seeing your mother I want to get I don't want to do your cocaine bit, but seeing your mother do stand up It would be like walking into the peppermint lounge in LA And I think I'd be more comfortable seeing my mother strip. Yeah, and sing her do stand up at least, you know, she's gonna make money How I mean are there tapes of your mom doing stand up. Yeah, and and literally tapes. Yeah, that's I have a VHS. Are they cringe worthy? No, no, she was funny. She was good at a time, you know, I Mean I didn't like it when I was a kid because I I don't think a lot I mean, I guess some kids like stand up, but a lot of them don't especially live like you can watch like specials from home, but Kids hate being expected to do something and that's all comedy hits Mm-hmm, you know, you have to behave a certain way. It's like no I don't want you were two years old Did your mom take you to the clubs with her a little bit not not that much I was a child of divorce. So she would perform a lot more when I was at my dad's place And when you went to the clubs, were you nervous for her? Did you know I didn't get a feel good when she was killing? Did you feel bad for her now bombing? No No, I wanted to be home playing, you know, Super Nintendo, I didn't give a shit I'd love to be like Beavis and Butthead was my comedy in the Simpsons What's the most success she had at 15 years? Yeah, what's the most success she had as a stand-up? She opened for like a lot of great people. She's an emcee and she headlined like certain places She saw Todd Berry do his first ever open mic And you know Florida, right? Yeah. So what is the Oedipal struggle going on here? Well, I've never dated a comic and that's a huge reason why I Yeah, I just know I was gonna you know now if I didn't have respect for Micah Oh, I pretend now. I'd say oh, they wanted to fuck me anyway I'm glad there was a reason I got to make it seem like it was my choice Yeah, so Your parents making spectacles of themselves my mother used to When skateboards first came into Popularity here in America my mother used to run outside and tell kids to stop skateboarding They're gonna break their necks And I wasn't allowed to have a skateboard and my mother was perceived as a Witch and a shrew for not letting people have other people's children other I was never allowed to see your mom Was basically John Lithgow from Footloose Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, so that was my that was my mother like shaming me Like telling people but telling all my friends my child can't have fun. Nobody's children can have fun Well, she is kind of right about skateboards. They are kind of dangerous That's how my mother shamed me Before that like pushing the wheel with a stick I mean and you know if she hadn't if she hadn't done that you'd be saying my mom instead of my mother Yes, mother is that that's a very mother mother the behavior Micah Fox mom's let you do things mothers don't Micah Fox host of this week in Jack and What's the most humiliating thing your mother ever did you in public? Like where were you just kind of oh my god? I mean, I don't even know how to quantify that father. Well my dad my dad's not really that humiliating He's just more embarrassing, but he embarrasses himself more than me But my mom is that but if he's embarrassing himself. He's embarrassing you I Guess I could separate it my mom was more of like a lunatic You know and like as like a girl like people think you're gonna be like your mom And so I think anytime she did anything embarrassing there's like this like you know She was a she's a crazy person She threw a fit at a car show once had to be like dragged out by security And then like wouldn't stop screaming until my dad bought her something from a jewelry store like she was a known lunatic What did you buy her We're just like we're just in the car like oh my god make this end, you know Anything at school did did did did you ever get embarrassed by your parents at? School in front of other students. I mean she was conscious of like embarrassing us like that She would be like she would be mad that someone would do something to us to embarrass us But embarrass us further, you know, right? She would scream at a teacher like how could you? You know punish my daughter for screaming in the middle of class, you know, like we're all we're all crazy. I was a pretty good dad Okay, all right calm down. No, I was because I told my kid. I'll think that no I was yeah, let's do we call your daughter. Well, she's not talking to me Somebody poisoned her But when life was good, I told my kids, you know, you have to be ashamed of me So I'm gonna give you reasons controlled There's gonna be some controlled flooding here. Oh, so I would say in front you're yawning Mike Lawrence Yeah, sorry am I that boring to you? No, I'm just tired But what of me now that we work together Let me just tell you what I used to do to my kids I used to say like when their friends were over I would call Toby McGuire Toby McIntyre Yeah, and I would do it over and over again. Yeah, I'd say hey Have you seen spider-man with Toby McIntyre and it would just annoy my daughter to the point where She doesn't talk to you now. She doesn't talk to me anymore There's a few missing pieces Or calling her espresso espresso. Yeah, I'd say I'm having an espresso Mispronouncing certain words. I told my kids that Italian dressing when we went out for dinner. I'd always order Italian So you're doing this on purpose. She doesn't notice what a big loser you actually are Right, and I would insist that it's pronounced italy My father once took us all to a Chinese restaurant and kind of panic attack and said are you sure you should serve Chinese food here? And they said yes, he was like we're not staying here Marilyn relieving But he was joking around. No, he was my dad's full of panic at all We are what that's that is a you had a panic attack. You smoked a joint and saw the room Yeah, no, this is here. This is here and a panic attack What caused it the room the marijuana I mean weed I think always has like you know some effect But I like have panic attacks with or without weed. I movie theaters get me I've been having panic attacks a movie theater since I was a kid Something about like being like trapped in like for a certain amount of time and it's like dark And there's like images being forced at you, you know, I don't like that kind of mind control I find flashing lights can often make me give me a lot of anxiety Mm-hmm a Chinese was Japanese school kids that had seizures from video games. Yeah, I have seizures I don't but I I related to them. Here's how How to stop panic attacks? Yeah, call it Italian. I call it. No, what I do like Lawrence is Panic attacks come from the body not the brain Your brain is like shaking Or you're short of breath, but if you think about the gray matter That's calm. It's not quivering. So I say well, this is my body and this is my brain my body Obviously has too much coffee in it or there's something going on here, but my brain isn't wiggling and screaming or sweating and Then I take a Xanax and I come We work together and try and cancel comic dog special. Yeah hulu, which is should Yeah, it's super fun and my impression of you Because we never we had never met no no no What was your first impression of me when I walked into the room? I Really respected and looked up to you you seem like one of like the guys in charge and very funny and was like were you intimidated by me? I mean the thing was like I just need this I got to do some alpha dog shit Just say they're intimidated by you can't just ask are you really? Yes? That's how that works Okay, but the whole thing was like over Overwhelming because they're like, you know, I got but I was calm, right? Oh, you're very nice. Yeah It's a cucumber But they did you think I was a seasoned professional Who couldn't And I looked up your resume. You've done a lot of stuff and you weren't any and you thought I can't I'm more jealous of you I can't sit around the table with this guy Yeah, much quicker and faster than I am and my brain is cramming up around him. Is that please tell me? That's what you were thinking. Yeah, just in that voice No, it was What about did you ever think like I will never be as fast and funny as this guy? Please yeah, I'm old and washed up I was like, do you have your I will never for someone to read I will never be as fun, but if I could get my daughter to return my The few jokes I got in this special Or just enough like I know cuz I didn't expect to meet anyone on that thing They were just like just send stuff remotely and then the guy was like Would you like to come in for a meeting and then we're just there and it felt And like seeing you know Brian Reich and you and like all these like really Brian rich I call them Brian right. Okay. He's the third right guy. I've met this But But like but meeting all those guys he invented the masturbating I know and you enjoyed him that way Did I I think it was you or someone else did but I probably did Everybody here in the presence of great I did he invented the masturbating bear that's Pimpot fully remember about 5,000 who someone else invented invented that bear. He just took credit for it I don't know Pimpot's first appearance But the first time I remember seeing Pimpot was with Jonathan Harris from lost in space And it was the greatest thing like because they're both just flamboyant robots So Brian rich Invented the masturbating bear on Conan O'Brien. It's one of it's one of the formative years of comedy for me was watching those sketches Yeah, so I asked him so I had this is a One other thing is I want you to and just throw this in later That I just want you to know mr. Feldman and then I get to say no call me David That I cannot believe that I'm actually sitting In your presence and and even trying to keep up with you. It's just it's it's amazing. No, mr. Feldman I I wasn't sure you liked me put here. I am at 5 p.m. On a Friday on Avenue B Doing your podcast and I just you know, just don't know what life is Now we know we're gonna talk about on this Mr. Feldman you don't know what you mean to me mr. Feldman. This is why we need women in the writing rooms because it is so gay Comedy writing is all women in writing rooms are so gay It's because like I work, you know on Schumer and that's mostly women. Thank God. Yeah, and it's amazing It's one of the best shows on TV And then you look at like every other like even being in the tribe writing room Like you feel like you're doing something wrong And then more and more guys were coming in that day and each one whiter and jewier than the last and I'm Jewish But it was just like it. I mean that that writers room look like like line submissions Yeah, oh right no line submissions. Yeah, but you got to read them left to right You got to read them fickle to steen Wine to bomb So, yeah, well, I was gonna ask you a question Micah Fox. Oh, I hope you remember it I can't when I get all you it's that's also are we still in the intro phase of the show? It's like we're 30 minutes I forgot to tell you when we invited you to do my show I suck I'm really bad. I'm really until you nail kissing his ass. We can't move forward Mike It's not this this podcast has the same ambience of like if they had a podcast at the party and eyes wide shut What I learned is that I'm David can orgasm just from flattery It's all about this mr. Lawrence you always come but have you ever actually gone somewhere in life? So Micah Fox this week in Jack, how have you been doing this podcast? I don't know at least 15 minutes Now how I've been doing it about a year and a half Disgusting and don't say me. Well, you haven't been on the show. Oh just person. Yes, okay No, what what do you want? What is it? What is the mother? Have you ever heard? This is what people masturbate about. Yeah, their first masturbation to their last that what the fancy that happens in their head Not so much that process. Well, I have a very important question to ask you great If I come on and say children I Am the known defender of Not I not pedophilia, but I do have sympathy for people who are pedophiles I don't think they have control over that and I feel bad for them and I support like Pedophilic art as opposed to people like going out to actually find a real child. So now pedophilia You mean like just like actually drawings. Yeah, like yeah. Yeah Uh, you know, it's interesting that you bring this up. Well, Mike did but go on I Just want to put that out there. I didn't start the pedophilia conversation Well, you because I did a series of interviews Amy Berg is a director and she made a documentary about pedophilia in Hollywood Mm-hmm, and I forgot the name of the documentary eyes wide shut Yeah, the Brian Singer story The the It's called an open secret I think is that the name of it and we did a series of intro I really devoted a lot of time the kid stays in the picture Well, I'm doing this Okay, so I'm gonna try to have a conversation about this movie and pedophilia and you just keep pitching child porn As I'm having this series and I'll act like I'm pissed off. Okay. Okay. You got it so One of the things that is never discussed in this movie is That pedophilia can't be cured the last five minutes of Benjamin Bunn Please Mike, I'm trying this is serious This is a serious problem and you're the only person I've had on this show who's talked about this You're right that that a pet that you're born that way if you're gay Well, I don't play I mean, I don't know three men and a little lady I don't know if you're born that way or if there's like a trauma I mean, I don't know that but I do think like like with any fetish I think you're kind of stuck with it. Yeah, and and I've asked a lot of people How do how do you cure this and nobody has an answer? They all they do all they talk about is the problem of pedophilia. Obviously, it's a serious problem But nobody has a solution children of the cornography. I Want to apologize Micah. Yeah, sometimes people are very immature and they kindergarten cup See, I just I I'm so sorry Catch me if you can So You know, there's chemical castration and so you're saying that And the problem is if you're a pedophile, you can't tell your shrink If you came and tell your shrink that you have fantasies. Is that so well, they get the the the shrinks This is what you if you from what I've read if you tell your shrink that you have fantasies about Children they clam up and they immediately say the big on top of short Stop on my mom will shoot all over my face Micah first of all again, I am just the host of the show. I can't there will be blood PT Anderson right please Anderson So Daniel Daniel Lewis pretty woman prettier girl Guys I am trying to talk about a very serious issue boys. Don't cry Okay, if you guys are not gonna behave Micah, I'm really I'm trying so hard Dave No, that was a pitch of a movie I'm just trying to end the band played on Please so you you you believe that people that people should be allowed to masturbate thinking of kids Yeah, I get the poison out Jersey boys Get the and is anybody being hurt by a thought dream girls You know You know thoughts maybe lead to deeds But I think like yeah, if you're you know somebody who hasn't rosemary's baby my fantasy and when people People molest children there's also like a power element of that and I don't think that really has as much to do with sex Like in the same way is right, so you know Yeah, if you have if you can only come by looking at pictures of kids You know draw a picture of a kid and come or you know take a picture of yourself and your kid and then grow up And then you got something to jerk to hmm my diary of Anne Frank No, my diary of Anne Frank not hers, but mine in spite of everything I still believe everyone's It's a camp story all right speaking of diary I just said my diarrhea So I want to ask you a question Yeah, if you wrote this joke yeah, because it didn't it didn't make it The Tromfans ill comic dog election special on Hulu and then Trump was on Steve Colbert Thursday night and he did the bit but this bit got cut And I want to know if you wrote because this makes me laugh the hardest and I fought as hard as I possibly could for this I'm sure it's not Tromfans look up is doing the books of all the candidates, right? So there's a picture of he did it on cold Oh, this got cut from Colbert to a Rand Paul's biography pube head. Yeah, not me at all Donald Trump's book pride and prejudice and This made me laugh So hard and it's my cockabees biography Called I've got diarrhea Nope my vision for America No, I wish but now and I laughed so hard That and how many men weren't a room writing that? So it made it to it made it to the studio When we did the special and then it got cut from the show and then try and put on Colbert last night and it got cut from for some reason died my diarrhea I've got diarrhea got cut from Colbert. You didn't write that I know who wrote it because I want to send them a box of steak knives I don't but I remember my favorite assignment was They were like we need more Trump titles and they're like but they have to be about like his fascination with Megan Kelly's period blood and I wrote 30 of those in like 20 minutes and My favorite one was are you going to eat that because? There were so many Megan Kelly period blood Interestingly, we had no female writers You had none. All right. I wore a dress. I think Vanessa Ramos contributed. Yes Right, I got my pitchfork in the car and No Latino writers and lots of Rubio and Cruz jokes Because Ben Carson's not really a candidate He's just an ambient taker Who's funny these days Mike of Fox? I saw you do stand up the other night. Did you get my email? Yeah, I'm so sorry to respond. I got it when I was like You know like falling asleep and then you know, I forget to respond emails But think that was very kind of you and I bombed I got mad at a no you did I got mad at We were doing a show. I won't tell you where it was, but somebody yeah fuck that Yeah, there was a comedian who was telling an older comic that he couldn't do jokes about Caitlyn Jenner Okay, can you make jokes about Caitlyn Jenner? Are we allowed to make fun of a female comic one and say that to someone but a comedian would John Waters says you should absolutely make fun of Caitlyn Jenner Listen, I just I just think that you know if I'm willing to get all the attention that I deserve and Maybe some of it should be negative, you know, if we're actually fighting for the equality. I'm supposed to represent That's brilliant Impression of Caitlyn Jenner's penis Listen listen a woman died so I could become one. Okay, you cut me off. I cut her off Who pays the price now? I guess that's a pretty good impression All it is it's just Jimmy Stewart whispering in a movie theater. That's how you Why are there so many trailers? Caitlyn Jenner says she is getting more Complaints from Liberals because she's a conservative she is from conservatives for being a woman. She's out of her goddamn mind You can't piece of shit Yeah, you can't be like against gay marriage and be trans like you know if it were for gay people leading the way You would be murdered by now. Yeah, so people are willing to die for her shit. Yeah, like she's the she's the worst kind of attention whore She's a rich person first and like a woman seventh Listen, listen, I support the togb community. I just rebranded it What is tog? What is no, you know because the she's the t and ogb T you know, but I'm sure that bothers her that she's fourth. Why do I get bumped for g? I'm sure be first. Could it be a mental illness? Is what being transgendered or being Caitlyn or being conservative? Yeah, because I do think being a republican is a mental illness I think being a devout Christian or jew or buddhist or Scientologist is a mental illness Well, I mean I call them victims, you know, I don't think they're mentally ill I think they've been victimized by the society that let them think that this is um Normal and okay You but do you like like they're like a cult like someone who got sucked into a cult? Are they mentally ill or have they just been brainwashed spends for thousands of dollars to take improv classes Right doesn't get a career in show business. Sure. I mean, can you could put somebody? I know that there are some people who are born in the wrong body Oh, no the trans issue is a serious issue and that's the thing people need to realize like you can make It's actually progressive to make fun of Caitlyn Jenner as a person And for her actions and thoughts and beliefs like it's It's way less progressive to just laud her and think she's brilliant because of what she is But if you actually look at her on her policies as who she is that's actual progress Okay back to this week in jack and yeah, michael fox You nail my credits all the time david's great. It's just a great name for apaca. Thank you Credit Right and all the sure, I mean, I yeah, I don't work for them, but you can say that What is the most disturbing fantasy That I've heard I mean well, you know, there is no normal, you know, it's like a judgment-free zone I mean mathematically there's normal Yeah, but with sex like there's a it's a huge scatter plot, you know what I mean like, you know, obviously like, you know Just like boobs or oral or yeah, those are like more concentrated toward the center, but it It goes pretty far out there. Um, one of the weirdest things I've heard was um It was from a cam girl who said that a guy asked her to Wrap newspapers around her body And that's it That's interesting that someone's still in the print media Well, the guy said he was That's the only person buying newspaper. Well, he was digital with his fingers. Well, he I want you to put the dunesberry strip near your pussy Oh, no, it's marmaduke. Oh, that turns me off. He, um, he fetishized fonts. He liked letters He liked letters and so he would request the new york times because they use a bigger font It was easier to see but that's a that's not true This is but wouldn't you say that it's like it's like all the people say Okay, you know what he asking me here, david But you could tell a cam girl anything. I mean, that's what you really like He someone paid for this girl to do that But I would do that. I would do that just I would get off on Making somebody do something the degradation of a cam girl. Well, now we're getting into your family So Let me let me see your health veticunt I watched him struggle with it He's like staring down. It's coming. It's made of fasting. Yeah He's like times new Well, that's the last that was the last one we were doing How do we miss a roman polanski joke in the pedophiling, but I was like comic sans. That's not even a thing But Say things to piss people off people are voting for trump just to piss people off Don't you think that I mean do you really think that somebody is that if you're asking for that repeatedly And you're paying for it and you're asking a cam girl someone who's like far away and can't judge you I think that's a real fetish. Yeah, I think he was genuine. I feel too Yeah Women if you don't mind my saying this I think oh, let's generalize Oh, I was gonna say women are no, I'm interested women are gonna save the planet. Oh, okay. Yeah, great. Great. Great I actually get off on generalizations about women This is amazing right now no, um I think well do women have more Bizarre fantasies than say guys do in your studies on the show Oh, I know I mean most I don't know how honest people really are with their extreme fantasies on my show people tend to like Choose the more normal the podcast friendly one Yeah, I think you know like there is a certain level where it is a comedy podcast and it's run by comedians And though obviously we'd love to hear like the more extreme things I think people do Sand sand off the edges of what they're into some people are you know, some people will admit like oh, I'm into like Incess stuff or like whatever, you know like people are honest, but it's It never gets too far and I find it's pretty balanced between men and women Do you find that women have more of a narrative and guys just have what they like see more like what they see you're here Oh, sure. I mean, you know, we've had maybe two guys mention erotica versus like almost every woman mentions it So yeah, like, you know, definitely storyline is much more interesting to women But there are plenty of men who are into it So I can watch a porn without a story You can't no, yeah, seriously. Yeah, so I'm a joke guy They come in I come in just for the jokes A week on story That's a fair point the selection of people we have our comedians. These are people who like words These are people who like stories, you know, so we're getting these thoughtful people You know, I'm not just like plucking like, you know, like random Joe from Staten Island who like grew up watching You know porn with his dad or whatever, right? What do you think if I Read somewhere that one out of ten Americans Is on an anti-depressant is that same about right? Sure. Yeah, and don't anti-depressants kind of Screw up your libido. They can Well butrin said to not do that, but I'm sorry. What the well butrin. I think uh, I was told Doesn't do that. But yeah, that they do have a history of that Okay, so is it fair to say that more people have messed up libidos than they did 40 years ago because of these anti-depressants Oh, I mean and so are there fantasies getting more does it take more To give you a fantasy to get off now because of the anti-depressant I definitely think porn has affected things like the the accessibility and all of that, you know, like Yeah, I would say that has a greater impact than yeah, because you know what it is. It's also like I disagree you used to like I disagree But it used to you had to like you could only buy stuff You were willing to let a cashier check out for you You know and now That's not an issue anymore. You can get on your phone Yeah, you're just like be looking at facebook and then pornography like yeah, but uh, that's true Although there are fetishes that they invent Because you don't have to worry about the cashier anymore and then well, I I mean From what I guess I think that these fetishes, you know, you don't make them up because you're bored I think people realize they have them because it was there to be discovered So like there was probably generations of people who have like very strange fetishes would never even know that gets them off Because they wouldn't have been exposed to it. Right, right. That's that's what like the iPod Yes, you know, that's the beauty of apple products, right? You didn't know that you needed a calendar in your pocket until it was available And you jerk off to calendars. No, no, but there were like like for example, I'm gonna be totally honest with you like I didn't know That you like until I watched porn that a man lies on top of a woman And kisses her and stares her in the face as He goes up kind of does like push-ups inside of sex missionary. You're describing missionary Yeah, I'm embarrassed to tell you but you've never heard of that until I saw that in porn And I'm ashamed to tell you that that's what gets me off right until then you were just uh pissing video pissing Nothing but German shit porn As mom and dad used to do it Well, you know, um Yeah, okay. So have you ever been like has anybody ever said to you that their wildest fantasy is a guy telling a woman that he loves her and I mean, we have people who like or like Honestly, I when I look at porn I look for someone who looks like my wife people people love love like love is totally still part of sex That's good. No, it's nice. Yeah, that's so sweet Isn't doesn't isn't that they call it making love Yeah, it's totally still part of sex for sure. Although I think that phrase is disgusting Really? I don't like the phrase making love. I just don't oh, but I love love you you're married, right? I am yes, and you don't like oh, you know Well because it implies the love doesn't exist until you two are kind of no, it's just it's just hilarious It's just like darling. Let's let's make love. It just makes it's just not it makes me laugh It makes it sound like there isn't any, you know Oh I think I saw top gun when I was very young and what what tom cruise and kelly mcgillis were doing was making love And I saw that with my parents kelly mcgillis And wittney houston were doing in the trailer was making love. All right, right? That was the rumor on top. It's a good rumor. It's a good rumor But yeah, I just to me like it seems very embarrassing and like, you know, I never see bottom gun No It's nothing but volleyball scenes or toy gun. There's no Uh, let's talk about love Are you in love michael ornd? Yeah, mary You make that sound like you're newly married. That's why we can assume you're in love And uh, how long have you been in love? Um, I've been with my wife for six years and did you was it do can I ask you some personal questions? Okay When I walk into the writing room, yeah Clean shaven. Yeah, we're in khaki pants. Mm-hmm. I have a pee stain Oh And would that have turned you on if a writer walks into her room? That's a very specific fetish Pee stain khakis dot com Did you fall in love with her the minute you met her? No No, it's the third date was magical But the first two were the first one was okay the second one I was very selfish. She just came to a show and then I went off to do another show Um, but the third one was actually like special michael fox I'll sit this weekend Do you think If you're dating are you currently do mind if I ask you? Um, yeah, I mean I just started seeing someone. Okay Uh If I were dating you Oh, right. I said no davin Do you think your your stand-up act Your stand-up act is better than your dating act because if we have an act when you're dating, right? Oh, I mean I I rarely Date I it's such a waste of time to me You know because like every time I'm on a like a date like let's say like, you know randomly I'm like I could be doing spots. I could be writing. I could be whatever but you meet a guy, right? Yeah, I mean so you have an act when you meet a guy, right? um You know, I'm I'm like the tech like I don't you met your wife off of Okay, give it a day off a date or whatever. I don't know but like this is like somebody I met like I've been friends with for a while I generally prefer to date people. I've been friends with for a while. And so I already know, you know, like I don't By the way, Amy Schumer has the greatest bit about Having sex with a male friend I can't believe gary is eating my pussy I don't know why that and I was thinking about that the other day because uh gary was eating my so um So there is no there is no real act because it's it's I'm dating somebody. It's usually somebody who's um Who already knows me but have you gone out on dates? Yeah, I have and and do you have an act when you go out on dates and is it better than your stand-up act? Do you repeat bits? Oh god, do you repeat bits in your relationship? Uh, do you have like a little pattern that no no no no not at all No little like jokes to make somebody laugh during sex. No, I don't have I don't have a good closer. Are you funny? Are you funny? Are you funny during sex? It might yeah, I think I'm funniest during sex actually. Seriously. Oh, yeah, sure Why not? What's the biggest laugh you ever got during sex? Oh god, um Um Uh, well now it now it's in my act, but once someone asked me they're like where where do you want me to come? And I was like, how about the trash can? Oh, you're vagina. Yeah, yeah That's someone in the anal Um, are you funny during sex? No, you know, um, I I I have to at least, you know be given two minutes to tell jokes Um, I and now I want to be but I'm not I have no confidence in bed Is that a turnoff if a man isn't confident? Absolutely. That's fucking disgusting. Really? Can a man be weak and still be sexy? I mean, it depends on the kind of week Emotionally, I'm getting better. Yeah. Uh, no, I you know, I mean, I I want to fuck the way spider-man fights crime But I'm just not there. Well, wait a second now. I'm actually being serious here Yeah, I was too. I genuinely was okay. So I really love spider-man if there's gonna be You know who was great in uh, spider-man toby McIntyre And no, it's toby McGinnis and he's not great at it at all and I could tell you why but If Women I'm being serious and I'm asking this as a question not as a statement if we Are moving towards equality Is the man still supposed to be Uh, you said were you serious when you said the I I see where you're going with this Yeah, like I mean vulnerability is is one thing like a complete lack of confidence isn't a turn on to me But maybe, you know, it's partner to partner specific. That's me. You know what I mean Do I have to represent every woman and let any guy fuck me for equality? You know Absolutely not. You know, what's a turnoff? Go ahead. This is really important What's a turnoff? Yeah, so you're saying a guy Who is not What uh, doesn't know what he's doing Uh, it doesn't know what he's doing is a turnoff But a bigger turnoff is doesn't want to know or like, you know, like what I remember once a guy said to me This guy you're saying to a woman. Okay. Uh, how much if I touch you there? How much if I touch you there? Right? Is this going to be more expensive? Is this going to be more expensive? Is that a turn on? Lobster's anal Lobster's not sex anymore Unless it's red lobster That's period sex With makin kelly Micah you go ahead. So right so answer my question, right? Oh, right. What can you do to turn me off? It's I'm already done David you've already blown it It's too much talking is is I'm not so into the too much talking like but like how is this how is that? Yeah, permission is I mean, but like, you know, there's a level if you're confident, you know I don't know I want everyone to come to the table with a certain set of skills And what are those skills? I don't know. I think just sort of should know what they're good at and just sort of be open to new ideas But you know, I love what you say they don't want to be overconfident like you're gonna love this because chances Are I probably won't if you're coming in like I'm not even like I don't even go on stage with confidence Like every time I'm about to go on stage like I hope this goes well And that's how I fuck But what makes great sex is it's not always the most confident guy who's come in and like studied all the books As that's not been the greatest sex I've ever had. It's just you know, I don't know sometimes chemistry with somebody I don't know. It's hard to it's hard to explain, you know, I I think that you just have some guys like a woman that's more dominating and they could be real Aggressive jerks during the day. So I think what happens in bed is very different than what happens in real life in terms of equality It's just whatever gets you up. Do you think sex has changed since women? have Ascended. Yeah, that's consensual I think you're right Right. Yeah. No, I'm being completely serious. You know, like Up until how long is just like, well, it's my wife. It's not rape if I married her, you know, like I bought her Here's the I mean it was literally right the father gives the here you can fuck her now Yeah, it takes three months salary to have unlimited sex for the rest of your life Explain to my male listeners about the pet. There's no pendulum, right? What is the what is the That I've heard a lot of that growl and po. What is that? I've heard a lot of guys say well, it's going to swing back in our favor What's going to what equality? Yeah Equality does not the quality of their favor. They're ready. Right. Yeah, things Explain that things the whole men rights activist thing is like the shittiest most disgusting thing and I I've had to explain it to people and I feel worse for knowing anything about it. Yeah, it's the worst Like explain like people say well, Trump is a normal reaction to Having my privilege taken away. Yeah, I mean it generally is not no one's privilege is going anywhere Even if Trump gets elected. Well, but they think it is they think that they think that it is and they're very excited To have is it but that's it it's just a dream for these people You should have the privilege to to not have to live in a country Where someone's talking about deporting you and they get cheered and proved up I mean You know, no, I I agree with you. I don't know. Well, what are these men so afraid of like what's changing that makes them So worried they're over privileged and their privilege is going to be taken It will get taken away their privilege is to rape people and be believed when they say that the girl's crazy And like it starts when they take your ghostbusters Micah is the only person who's been on this show who tells the truth about what's going to happen when hillary gets elected president Everybody else is sugarcoating it. You know, there's going to be a gender war, right? Yeah, all men are going to be enslaved and we're going to round them up like so many of trump's muslims and You know, we're going to put you in uh, I mean a lot of men already are in prisons But we'll get the white ones too and we'll just Round them all up. We're going to put them all in customer service that will answer our calls faster And then you know, we'll just you know, keep them over the better looking ones around for when we you know But you have said and you you have You have not qualified this you've said it outright and I respect you for this We are we women. We're coming for you. We're coming for you. Yeah, not coming Not coming on you not because of you. We're coming for you I mean coldplay's halftime show was the series finale of white men When Beyonce took over. Yeah, we we went out on a whimper, right? I was hoping it was a bang but we're done I'm picking this up for my daughters and her friends and There's no pendulum. There's not going to be like a truth and reconciliation where women say, hey, you know what? Maybe we over corrected for We're coming for it and we're taking it and we're not apologizing for it And that ain't gonna change, right? What for equality? No. Yeah. Yeah, you're not slowing that train down No, no Look, well, you know, and it's different than the civil rights movement with african americans Because there were some stutters there have been stutter steps with african americans because As always it's the white man who's threatened by the black man right and so we but Women are not Apologizing anymore they are I mean, I think that movements are very similar. I think I don't think you know, like people of color their struggle has like stopped or slowed at all Either I think everyone's still just like I think this is much I think the trajectory of women's rights right now if cops start shooting Women and then there's articles that say are black people funny then We won't let them go Is it fair for me to say And I'm being honest, Micah because you said something on the show like a month or two ago That kind of coincided with some some other stuff that was going on In my life and what I was reading and a light went out of my head And I thought this is a laser beam and it ain't stopping Whereas and there have been stutter steps with Hispanic rights and black rights, but with women's rights. I am sensing This there is no apology anymore, right? What you're saying sounds absolutely batshit and sane Uh, we've had been stutter stepping, you know since abolition And I think in the past four I say this all the time on the show I think in the past four years there's something really going on here And there should never have been a pilot like if anything we're the ones who need to apologize. We're the Athol I mean, it's weird when 53% of the population is called a minority like that something's genuinely fucked up I mean women are more educated, you know, we're the ones who are more likely to start a successful business than a man Black women are the most educated group in our culture. Did you know that? Yeah, and I and I think at all these things are and there's a it's definitely true that, you know You know a lot of like boys, especially a lot of a lot of boys are underserved, right? You know in public schools, but a lot of women have been underserved for years And if women are suddenly catching up it's making men feel very threatened and women are still being paid less They're still unable if they if you want to start a company and you want to appeal to a venture capital group They're not they're they're much less likely to likely to fund you even though your Company is much more likely to actually succeed than a dude's company And that that's out of harvard business school review, you know It's just and until you have people it's going to take a very long time to get more women to the table To start giving women more money to do things, but it's it's happening and it's Yeah, there's a special place in hell For women who don't respect Madeline Albright No, is there madeline albright believe in hell now that she's jewish. That's right. She's discovered. She's jewish I just discovered like laurence was jewish. Wow. That's the greatest compliment you can give a jew Right is to not look like one or not to pick up on it, but Madeline albright said there's a special place in hell For it's a cliche madeline albright said there's a special place in hell for women who don't take care of other women I always like to send people think there's special places in hell. Yeah, it's hell. Exactly. There's no special places. Yeah No, it is sad when women don't help but like, you know, they they bought in maybe, you know, they It had some advantage in the in the in the patriarchy and they're gonna ride that out And it's sad. I went out with a woman last night who was telling me that she doesn't she she won't support Hillary clinton because she's because she didn't leave bill clinton in the 90s. That's what young women That's a young woman. She's 30. Yeah, that's what really bothers her and they see monocleowenski is the victim I see monocleowenski is a victim. I do too. Yeah, I also see hillary is a victim in this I see the cigar as the ultimate I didn't ask for it You know, it's part of communism. It's real I wish I was back in cuba, but that's that's so that that's to me. That's so anti feminine It's so confusing to me to like well I don't know. She just hillary was just a power player. She was like, yeah, fuck what my house how my husband just Sandbagged my career. I'm gonna like fight for it. Anyway, and I'm sure when I'm sure she thought about leaving him But some people she sat down with some people and made some fucking power-broken decisions Like I'm gonna become a fucking senator out of this thing. That's good. I want to get mine Or maybe maybe they have an amazing marriage. Maybe they have an incredibly successful marriage that survives Maybe maybe if hillary becomes president Maybe people are gonna look at bill and hillary and say this is one of the greatest marriages in history Well, it's um, it's um, just a modern business relationship. But isn't that what marriage is? It's a it's an aspect that can be For legends for cosby's But isn't that isn't that why homosexuals want to get married not they want their love recognized But they also know that it's a business contract. I mean, so I mean could it could it be said that bill and hillary When all is said and done made it work made their marriage work. They made it work for them But that's no one that's not my idea of a good marriage, right? But who are we to judge them? Well, that was uh, michael fox host of this weekend jacking Michael aren't you the remnant resume that makes you feel older like to have to like staff through all the I did not have sex with this woman That was like such a humiliating time in history to have to like watch all that was such a waste of time And the ken star stuff that was like a disaster. I mean as somebody who has a failed marriage Uh, I I kind of look at bill and hillary and say just one Just one so far. I kind of look at bill and hillary and go Hey, you know what they made it work. Yeah, she despite the worst I mean everything that could go wrong In a yeah, but but they have an agreement he cheats on her and she and she finds it, you know, I think that's I'm gonna push back on it. I think that's glib. I've heard a lot of people say Since 1999 since the impeachment. Well, they had an agreement their marriage is nothing more than a business arrange But I think there's a flaw in thinking that like You know, like if if two people are in a situation and they divorce like that's also making it work sometimes like staying together That's that's old school thinking. It's just staying together means it work. Not necessarily. I mean you look at yeah Look at the the cosby's now like they made it work Yeah, is is cameo like is that the greatest like love story of all It's fucking I know but it's fucking sad and awful I don't think it's fair to compare Cosby to bill clinton clinton only rape one woman when he the broad brick and the rest He probably Do you think he I mean, there's a lot of sexual Allegations against him, you know, I don't know but I if I were to guess Yeah, I probably did I think there's nothing wrong with saying that fidelity is like the end all be all in a marriage If you're a few like this, that's the most important thing to me No, we can love each other and we can make mistakes and that's not what that's not going to end things I mean, it's different between like he made that he that was so humiliating That that that time in the 90s when I was like in high school in college having to watch all that having to watch Hillary go through that it was so mortifying but he didn't do that to her the the star report did that I mean he was most most men get a He thought he was going to get away with it. Yeah, and she An argument could be made that she probably Knew what was going on and she thought he was going to get away with it and she had to play the role Yeah, I think she knew but well, yeah, and she had to play the role of don't you think when they were going to Martha's vineyard after the star report came out and They had to put chelsea between them that was so hideous and they weren't going to hold hands like Like she was finally finding out for the first time that he was she knew that was all So many allegations before But you remember but Hillary she just got such a raw deal. I remember there was a cover of spy magazine in the 90s She was wearing a dominatrix suit with her puffy headband Like she was just so shit on all through the 90s. Anyways, it was like this double Even if she like was letting him do his thing so she can get hers later Are you going to vote for hilly because it's her turn? No, I'm going to vote for hilly because she could identify all the world leaders on a map And what about bernie? I'd sit next to him at shul You would sit next to him at shul. Yeah Not on yom kippur. I think he's one of those Jews who smells bad when they fast I got a headache already Where's the good nova? He can do the prayer over the challah I love I love bernie just because people people tell me not to vote for him the way they tell me that pro wrestling's fake And it's like well, I'm still gonna watch it. Yeah, no, it's all personal. I'm not anti-burning I mean, I I'm one of those people that's like vote for whoever you want. Just vote for a democrat. Do you fast on yom kippur? No, no, I fast every day. I'm a modern woman Did you fast on yom kippur? No Were you raised jewish a little bit? I mean, you know, like Not not really. I mean I culturally identify as jewish, but not very religious All right, I got to read some questions that were written by alex because he'll be pissed off if I don't uh How how much time do we have left? We have five minutes What does alex want to know I never make him happy. Okay. Well, oh I have some gigs to plug Uh next thursday on february 25th. I'll be at delancey at 8 p.m Comedy is a second language That's a very hip show. Let's talk about let's talk a little bit about stand-up before we go Okay, you have some pee on your pants. Thank you So don't stand up So when I walked into the writer's room the first time you saw me mic lorence, did you have to pinch yourself? Did you say I cannot believe i'm working with david felham? No, it's like they said I just had to send assignments remotely Why am I in this office? Why am I here they said they said 11 to 12 and then Like the meeting will be from 11 to 12 and then it'll be like oh come in between 11 and 12 But stay the whole day. I'm like, what am I doing here? Who's that beautiful man? Did you think I was beautiful? I know there's a guy standing next to you. Um What rooms do you normally get up in um the stand of the the creek um the cellar uh everyone's so I'll uh carolines stand up new york um New york comedy club What's tough for making a writing room laugh or an alt room laugh? um The answers are writing room No, I find writer's rooms to really be easy to laugh at But although like a lot of times I have the same um anxiety in both places because I often feel like the poor person in a room full of people who come from money in both places Hmm Do you know how much the writing room has changed? in The sex it somebody just remember anyway, I'm with it. Okay. What do you prefer writing rooms or uh comedy rooms? I mean, I haven't I haven't been in that many writing rooms. Um so Yeah, I gotta say I have to say comedy rooms all rooms are bar rooms Or what's your favorite type of audience? Those those are synonymous. Yeah club rooms I mean, I I guess I like I like bar rooms better because they're Younger I get nervous when I see older people, but they're all the same really as long as they speak english Mike you've opened for john oliver. Yep and mark maren If you had to Which one if I had a gun to your head, which one would you make john because mark's gonna talk about it You think I want that 15-minute intro. He doesn't even have confidence when he fucks me What did you learn from them? Um a lot. Uh, I mean john john's the reason i'm gonna work in comic. He saw me put me on his show and took me on the road Um, I learned. Yeah, you could be a really nice person and still succeed and uh, love what you do and From maren, you know never to give up like, you know maren so many people said he was done and he found a way to re You're not even reinvent himself just the avenue that you know, he would shine the most in and so both are incredible to me Who have you opened for mica? Um, who's the big what's the biggest name you've opened for? I opened for maren once I opened for tata loxandro last month Uh, you know, I mean, I'm like I've been on showcases with like a lot of great names, but you know, I don't really tour so much You're both stand-ups and writers Hmm. Are you able to detach yourself from the material you write for shows? Are you able to kill your babies? Yeah, I mean, you know, you go in knowing that it's for somebody else So even if like your favorite stuff that you wrote doesn't get on it's not necessarily that person's favorite stuff And it's a job. I mean the thing I've learned about comedy is once they give you money anything's okay If I have to get rid of stuff that I care about or if I can't do stuff that I care about And it's a free situation for that, but if I'm you're actually getting paid to be okay with your babies die Do you ever secretly wish a joke? However good it is Wasn't used so it could be in your act um No, I feel like my act especially now has gotten so specific that most of the stuff would never Go into the writer's room stuff. Okay We ran into juda freed lander And he told us a great story about rey romano Yeah being heckled I'm not going to do it justice, but I'll tell it in a second. What's the worst you've ever been heckled? Oh, it was when I was just getting started when I was working at hot comedy club And I would bark for 45 minutes in the freezing cold just to go in for five minutes of stage time Had be terrible because I was terrible You know have the audience who had been suckered into a show full of people who weren't dave chapelle and john stewart But they were promised but they were promised that Where's david feldman see me who the person who handed them a flyer get on stage say something bad And then they just straight up boomie until I'd be lit at two minutes even though I was promised to be lit at four minutes That that's the worst I think I think you're doing stand-up wrong. You should always hope that your worst tackle is going to come next What's the worst tackle you've ever done? Oh man, um, I you know the the worst the worst one ever Um, I did the the fucking worst weekend. I ever did. I was bombing So hard and they weren't even this is this is even worse than them like saying like you suck Whatever, but there was these three women in the front and and the feature had a musical closer and like Haggy t-shirts and everything nice guy, but you you know, uh, they fucking loved him and they hated me And during my set they give me their phone and ask if I could take a picture of them Yeah, jr. Freedlander told me that he was at the cellar It was one year into everybody loves raymond and ray romano was on stage And he was telling jokes and a guy in the back of the room We just kept going come on ray Come on You can do it Oh my name I'm tired of telling some jokes here Come on ray. You can do it. You can do it because it's it's like it's a third base coach Trying to he was infantilizing Oh, yeah once somebody was like, you're not funny, but you're still cute and I was like, oh, there's no recovery from you know Like because it's just so demeaning and yet you're hilarious, but I'm not attracted to you like best compliment ever Okay, so Lindsay Goldworth is a brilliant journalist and comedian and your new podcast is spent. Yes, it's going to be um airing in april april 15th on tax day. That's about money. It's about money. It's about all the things we do to make money and why we're so fucked up about money and People telling their crazy stories about how they lost it made it How their families fucked them up about money and uh, yeah, I'm just excited to just sit down and talk to people and Have a real emotional discussion about uh, and funny discussion about uh about money And where are you performing next? I'm gonna be my show. I think I said this earlier is going to be at sunny side comedy February 26th and sunny side queens at Maggie maize. It's a great show. It's a free show But please tip the comics and it's going to be freaking us Because it's the one-year anniversary of the bar. I like that tipping the comics more people should do that Absolutely always pass ahead. Yeah And uh, micah fox this week in jack and that's right. Who your guests? We've had the esteemed mike lorence. We've had ted alexandro chris gethard Ted actually talked about. Yep. Really? And it's once a week comics comedians or people Related to the sex industry we've had or just persons of interest Yeah, come on and talk about their sexual fantasies. That's right. Okay Sickest thing you've ever heard I tried to talk it was uh, it was uh, there was this guy who Begged begged a newer comic to just say he was uh intimidated by him No, it was uh, that was maybe the sickest sexual Fantasy The man wrapped in newspapers. That's that's a beautiful thing. That's just love. I don't know if that's I don't think, you know Oh, and then also there's this guy who like has to suck off a horse And uh, mike lorence, you're uh, so we're you're you're working on amy schumers, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's just uh The writing wrapped but uh, the season should be airing and we're going to see you performing stand-up Um all over the place the mike lorence comedy.com is my um different Toward eights. I'll be at yonkers comedy club on uh, march 31st and april 1st Great, and I will be at On february 25th. I'll be at the at the delancey 8 p.m. Comedy is a second language Thank you guys. Yeah, thank you The david feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you you sad pathetic humps Lindsey goldworth joins us. She's a hysterical comedian Also a journalist She's written for abc cbs the new york daily news Fast company slate yahoo news, and she's here to talk about a brand new podcast That will be coming to you from the show brisk studios here in downtown Manhattan. It's called spent Tell me what's spent is about. Lindsey goldworth. Hey there Well, um, I wanted to create a podcast about money But not but I find that people who listen to personal finance podcasts already have money But I wanted to create a money podcast for people who have no money and who are afraid of their money And um, keep all their money under their mattress or um, just or have all this credit card dead Just for idiots for for people like me and I wanted to tell I wanted it to be more of a storytelling podcast to get people to get on and just talk about all the ways They've they fucked up and and also have someone else on with me to kind of give them some ideas Of of how they can make things better But also have the people themselves talk about what they learned and do in a way That's kind of funny and empathetic as opposed to prescriptive and making people feel bad because you already feel bad about money About money you just automatically feel bad when you open up your bank account statement You just want to throw up and if you don't you're probably rich Money is like sex you were saying Well, what I was saying was in my case it is sex. I have to pay for it. No Well, when you roll it up into those into those roles that they can be dumb kidding Um, why don't strippers make change when you put a $20 bill when you try to I think soon the strippers are just gonna have you know Like like squares and be able to just swipe your credit card like write down the you know their ass crack That would be wiser No, but the thing with the money is that I was saying was people will feel very comfortable getting on a podcast Or getting on tv and talking about how many sex partners they've had or how many sex toys they own But if you ask them how much money they have and their savings They're going to be like none of your business and and run away in a lot of ways It still is the last taboo because you can act and look a certain way But you're the only one that sees your bills You're the only one that sees how fucked up things really are And it gets and people who've been sharing stories with me thus far had been talking about It's never just about the way they lost money It's about their their family and how their family raised them their parents were insane had terrible relationships with money How a divorce totally threw them into another place. It's all these are all stories about life experiences They're not so much about everyone knows what to do with their money, you know, put it in an IRA, you know But most people They're not even there yet And most of these savings programs are they seem very inaccessible to people So I do you really think that everybody knows what to do with money I think the personal finance people think that people know What to do with money, but the people I speak to who are you know between the ages of you know 20 and 40 They're they're not saving for retirement by time they pay off their student loans. They're gonna I don't I there's just that's why I think if there ever is student loan forgiveness It'll be just to so people won't be Bangrupt so that there'll be something for them when they retire So because massive crisis in 40 years of all these homeless hipsters, you know wandering the street Um, so yeah, I I don't know people there's the answers are out there It's like losing weight everyone knows how to lose weight But no one wants to do it The same thing with with with money, you know, everyone knows to put money away for a rainy day fun and do all these things But it's easier said than done. It's much easier to like. Oh, just work out and eat healthy It's like, well, how close do you live to healthy food? And what is your work schedule like and the same thing with money like money is I can go on and on but so ask me I'm curious. No, I agree with you. I think that in relationships Couples sometimes Don't want to talk about what they really want during sex. Absolutely Yeah, I mean, I think the things that couples fight about they fight about my grandmother should say couples fight about shit and money You know and usually money and shit being like cleaning up the house and you know, you never take me anywhere But usually that's even that's about money in some way because if you say, you know, you never clean up It could be like, why don't we have a cleaning person? It's because we can't afford one. Yeah, and somehow we're convinced that money is dirty and it's tacky to discuss money You know, it's funny what what your background is. Um, I know that You know, my family always spoke pretty frankly about money. My dad, you know, grew up without any And he was always very upfront about it He never wanted me to grow up to be one of these women from long island who Would give it an allowance and then their husbands would leave them for younger women and they had no money You know, this is something my father warned me about and like a way too young of it He's already Prepared you that a guy was going to leave you. Yes. He said you bet. Yes. He said don't get fat Keep it together or make your own money because because when he leaves you because the marriage isn't going to work No, no, clearly not. I'm not I'm I don't have that much charisma. Right, but I was sort of but he talked Um, he was very upfront with me about money and he always told me what to what to do when he and my mother worded We're gonna die. Like we were really young. He was just really wanted us to be financially aware And I think that is unusual. Um Larry david was on charlie rose right after seinfeld went into syndication I think larry david ended up with like half a billion dollars And charlie rose said, you know, what's that like? You know, now you don't have to worry about money And he said nature abhors a vacuum He said up until a month ago All I ever thought about was money Then we got Sold into syndication half a billion dollars is coming my way. He said within a nanosecond His brain was consumed by some other worry that that's just because it's just made room For something else to worry. It's a certain kind of brain. Am I trip? So what if the jewish brain? Well, what is money? And I say that because yeah money Is very complicated. You mentioned the jewish brain. It's a very complicated thing In terms of investing. It's also complicated in how we Deal with it how we internalize it and how we Think of money. What do you think money is? I mean to me, I think money is you know, it's when the shit hits the fan You know, you have you have something saved me. I think of saving is when I think of money You know, then I also think of you know buying nice things and you think about a home I think about the necessities then you keep thinking about and you think about all the things you want to do in life Um, but i'm kind of privileged that I I don't I have a lot of necessities covered right now I have a job i'm doing okay, but why is money dirty? Why do people say it's tacky? Why do they you know your money grubber your cheap or your profligate you spend too much? You know, I think I use money to control people. What is money? Did we invent? It seems to me humans invented something To control ourselves And get things without Killing each other and it it seems to be money I think that it does. I have dirty and I think a lot of that it's you know, it's it's loosely anti-semitic You know who was the one that lent they used to lend the money. Who's the one that used to you know Used to make all these these deals you know, and I think that there's something Related to Judaism, you know about about about money, but I also think why why did juzelin money? I think because they weren't allowed this I don't want to they weren't allowed into other guilds I think I think they were they were all those the only business that they were allowed into And they weren't allowed other religions aren't allowed to charge interest. Yes, I believe that's true But I think that I don't know I think I always get so I once went down to Palm Beach to visit a friend and it was so waspy and so confusing because I don't know in some cultures. I mean like it doers people like you could tell who's rich They they want you to know, you know, there's a lot of signaling with brands and like the Mercedes and the it's very tacky This was with whom? Um, but this isn't where I'm from on Long Island But I went down to Palm Beach with some friends where everyone was very waspy and it was you know Everyone was driving a Volvo and carry like there's a very non-branded So it's the idea that you shouldn't have to flaunt it It was like to be so rich that you don't have to act like you're rich is this whole other level of wealth I'm glad you mentioned this because I went to A country club in keen, New Hampshire where jeb bush was speaking And it was very wealthy. Yeah, and I walked into this very Protestant country club And it was puritanical and I thought oh, this is interesting. This is people who have either old money Yeah, or lots of money and they're not It is an american. I think an american tradition dating back to You know cotton mather Not to show what you have. Yeah, there's something very british about it, you know, like don't it's it's you know You shouldn't have to show people just should know who you are and just be low-key And you don't judge don't judge somebody by how much money they exactly are you saying in palm beach? I'm sorry you you say In new york with long island jews. I just think there's a lot of signaling You know you want people to know how well you're doing You know, is that a function of being jewish or is that the immigrant experience? Would you see that in the african-american community and the hispanic community? It's the second generation coming into money I think and the pride of making it in america. Absolutely. And you know, you know, it's you know, my new voriche Yeah, I mean my dad, you know came from from from very little, you know When he you know, he he worked so hard and he wanted to have nice things have a nice family um I mean my my family but then you see certain people that they make they they just they want to be the center of attention They want to be this they want to be very flashy. I think it is I don't know what the next generation is going to be like, but I think a lot of it's being this Being the first generation to really make it in this really huge way Can can can money be a reflection of somebody's values? Oh, yeah, I mean it they are depending on what on what you invested, you know, they you know, my dad taught me Um, he said you're you're better off people or it was ago You should invest in green funds invest in in in funds that do good for the environment or do good And my dad said, you know, don't do that. That's a bad idea invest money And what's going to make you money and then donate to the things that you that you want to donate So he doesn't believe in divesting from oil companies and I I pretty sure that's what put me through college How about companies that do business with israel? That's a new thing to divest. Yeah, I mean, no, I think you should I think it's all I think, you know, it's your personal politics You know, you have to be people is all this people invest in vice funds, you know, they invest in, you know Cigarettes, which is obviously a terrible thing to invest in now the cigarettes pornography all those things, you know I always say to the people who uh, there's a movement on college campuses to Divest in any company that does business with israel I always say, you know, you go ahead and don't do business with israel But you know, there's some great cures for heart disease and cancer Coming out of telepathy Yeah You know, you got to walk the walk Absolutely And so you can't use any of the drugs that come out of it. Israel. I think a lot of us. I don't want to, you know I was I was young once, you know I you have to you if you want to invest with your if with your conscience, you know to be kind of An economist about it rather than, you know Be emotional about it, you know, it's your money if you want your money to grow You're gonna want to put in a place where there's growth, you know, and if you have want to feel good about it You might not make as much money. So let's get back to money. Yeah once a month I get a statement everything because of my marital situation. I'm taking over my finances And I get a statement from visa once a month and I put everything On visa. Okay. I just charge everything. I I don't spend cash because I like to see where my money goes That makes sense. It's kind of unfair sometimes to go to Starbucks and no, it's not charge two dollars and 80 cents. No, it's fine You don't feel bad cost the money Starbucks is okay. Yes Uh, and I like to sit and look at my visa statement. I find It's a reflection On my values. Where did I spend my money? Absolutely. What choices did I make last month? Absolutely, that's really interesting. It's like your browser history. Yeah Yeah, it's it's saying, you know, what you bought in times of what you needed for comfort what you bought at certain times of the day Um When you chose to not cook for yourself and chose to order in You know, absolutely the stuff you spend your money on is absolutely But it might not even but then again the things you buy aren't necessarily your values. I mean, I'm like I'm a terrible terrible cook. I've never learned to cook. Let me get back to money. Let's get back to money I can't imagine I'm older than you. I cannot I cannot imagine Uh, not looking at my visa statement and seeing where the money went. Okay. I'm fascinated by it. Okay I I I I just can't take my eyes off it. What does that say about me? It says you're concerned about money. You want my concern about me? Is it is it? Is it that I'm cheap? No, is it that I'm obsessed with money. What does it mean? It means that money is on your mind You're curious. You're also taking stock of just taking stock of things this point in your life Aren't you and I can't believe most people don't do that and people are in denial People are in denial about the stuff they buy the stuff they spend people don't open their mail I think I wonder if there was a study about how people were are more likely to pay their bills Online than they are in the mail. I personally I hate getting mail I have a bit of a male phobia when I was younger. I once didn't open my mail for a year. Those were not good times But I find getting bills in over email much less Terrifying to know I was there. I mean, yeah, I mean I I wouldn't go to my mailbox. I mean, I well, that's a real that's a real thing But as you get older You begin to realize that the thing that you're postponing the most Is the thing that could make you happy? right, so what do you so in other words not paying your bills and I've been there and having credit card debt and I've been there and avoiding it sure Makes it worse. Whereas when you address the thing that you're postponing it actually creates happiness It does because and it's not so much Self-destruction as it is a fear of happiness because once you get your finances somewhat under control You have control and anxiety Which most Americans suffer from 99 percent of Americans suffer from anxiety because they're not part of the 1 percent Their anxiety is about money and anxiety stems from lack of control. That's absolutely true It's just people are just it's easier to put your mail in a drawer. I mean you would you know You know, I think things through a lot when I put something aside I'm aware that I'm putting it aside and I know what it means to put a bill aside It means I don't want to deal with right now I don't want to write a check And my reasons for not wanting to do that have very little to do with whether there's money in my account It's it's how am I feeling that day is I just don't want to deal with it You know or haven't you're like I've done enough for other people Has nothing to do with the money itself now. I'm in a rage today. Okay. Talk to me I'm gonna rage people owe me money. I've done jobs for people. I'm not getting paid people just conveniently Find ways to Not pay what they owe me. So I have what are called. I believe it's called accounts receivable Yeah, they eventually get paid. Yes, but I get worked up because I pay my bills Yes, I do and I so I want You know, I feel like uh the guy in Goodfellas the two-pay guy who? Uh, uh, what was his name? Murray wigs. Where's my money? Where's my money? Where's my money, Jimmy? Where's my money, Jimmy? Where's my money? Yeah Um Well, you should yeah, and we're all owed money And then I kind of wrap it in some kind of Talmudic cloth Where it's not just about the money. I always say my joke is it's not the principal. It's the money But it is the principal not to pay somebody For their work or to delay it Oh, yeah, it it is the height of Immorality and I get worked up. So not only don't I have the money that's oh to me Then I'm like taking the moral high ground and my head starts spinning about like I can't believe people Uh Treat each other this way. So to me with money It is a language on how we treat each other For what we do for one another sometimes. Yeah, no, my first job I ever had was at a women's magazine and I was a full-time freelancer And all my invoice is just sat in this woman's box for like weeks on end And then and I wouldn't get paid for for months And then I finally have to walk them over to another building and they write me a check on this bot for $5,000 Um, just some it's just their their pay schedule has nothing to do with your life You know because they've either most of the time is they're either wealthy That they were born to wealth and they don't understand that some people live paycheck to paycheck that I understand right I can understand somebody being the the you know A child of a billionaire who doesn't get it that people live paycheck to paycheck to me the worst are the self-made Millionaires who don't pay their bills who know what it's like Not to have the money and still not not Because because people forget this news because some people have money they forget right away You know don't forget. Well, they don't forget, but they they conveniently forget, you know, some people, you know You know, I was raised just always always give a good tip, you know Because my father never forgot what it was like to you know to need money, you know But some people did grow up that way and they can't wait to be the one that doesn't you know I'm saying some people Also, they're pay schedule their pay cycle may hasn't has nothing to do with you You know, I'm not making excuses for them But as a freelance writer who often has to wait 30 60 90 days to get a check for $200 um, I just know that I just come to expect as a freelance as part of this whole gig economy You're what is this bs of a 90 second a 90 second a 90 day Pay cycle that's what if that's something they created in house at some way because because I don't know It's probably convenient more convenient for them probably lines up with their financial quarter Who knows it's live because they collect interest off it. There's you know, I think how many times have you Tested a company and said, you know what I've never done this But where you actually forget that you did some work And they're they're not going to pay you there's no if you don't call That check ain't coming That's happened to me a few times in other words. There's no way In america and I'm older than you and I'm telling you there was a time where you could forget that you work for somebody And in two weeks of check would arriving. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah in america today If you're freelancing There is no way That you don't have to ask at least three times to get paid Well, that's the whole thing with the gig economy everyone's very excited about the idea that we're all freelancers We're all able to do our own thing, but there's no one really advocating for people like us You know, there's no one saying, you know, you have to there's no union for freelancers And you have to pay these people on time or else you you accrue interest and you owe them more You know, there's no there's no one advocating for you as a freelancer So you have to kind of build that into your fee is, you know The bullshit of waiting around for the money and and bugging people Right. Um, I've been pretty lucky that I've gotten paid eventually. Um, you know, I'm pretty on on top of that kind of thing But I just assume the worst at all times. So money In many ways is how we treat one another I think so what we think of one another I just think consideration for others But I think if you know someone personally to owe them money is pretty gross, you know If you have the money to pay them back, you know, I mean for as as things could become more corporate, you know You know, it It becomes harder to find the money and and it will trace it where it goes and who sits there and who gives Who ends up cutting you that check? Yeah, and what corporations Do they make it easier they make it It's it's how to be hateful in a very antiseptic way Yeah, when you ran a small business that made millions of dollars You saw the results of your actions when you laid off people if you ran a newspaper, well, let's talk about journalism. Sure. Okay, so I worked for caro and san francisco was a nbc affiliate in the 80s And they had a great news room and was owned by the family that owned the san francisco chronicle. Okay well There were the spoiled trust fund kids from that family. I forgot but you know, they if they fired somebody They saw the results. It was a locally owned business All of a sudden caro and gets bought out by a conglomerate And the decisions are being made in new york and you can just fire somebody now with the press of the button And take six months to give them their severance package and you're in Manhattan and they're in oakland or san francisco and you don't see or smell the results. It's become very easy now to Have really cruel business practices I think business practices have have often been very cruel, you know, I think that there's I get, you know a little bit When people talk about, you know, how the great things were in the old days, you know There was some give and take in the old days. You also didn't have to, you know, hire blacks and Jews, you know I don't know things weren't always so great. I mean, you might have been guaranteed a paycheck But who actually got that paycheck, you know the daily so I worked at the daily news for a while a place So I really liked and the people were very special and very funny And you know, and the daily news is is locally owned. It's um, I believe more and zuckerberg still owns it. Um Zuckerman Zuckerman. Oh my god. Sorry. Um, I was thinking He believed he still owns it and um It just no one's buying the paper, you know, it's just everything's changing it has it's the daily news The view of new york is different than what what new york actually is, you know, it's it's it's still appealing And I think it's changing a bit It was appealing to this real kind of like 1960s kind of populist irish. We love cops. We love unions new york Which I don't think really exists in the same way anymore Um right now at the people who are buying the paper. I see people read the daily news on the subway They're looking they're reading the sports. They're reading the crime, but they're mostly immigrants, you know Um when they lay people off and they laid off almost I I don't even know 70 of the staff really when was this I mean over the course of the last few years. Um You know, it was big because I mean they made a lot of big business mistakes I mean, it's been written about widely, you know investing in certain things and bring paying for very expensive talent from from the uk It's just a shame. I think what people who I mean the people lose out on it on a good job But a lot of my friends who lost jobs have all found jobs elsewhere, which is pretty great But then it's the people of new york who miss out on people who are doing investigative reporting on like The stuff that matters to real new yorkers about you went to NYU journalism. Yes, I did your first job out of journalism school Is what I was a fact-checker At at new york magazine. That's my it was my first I did a lot of free well in 2001 I graduated it was the first big bubble pop So all the people that went to we're working online publications all went back to the print job So we all we had a lot of trouble finding jobs So a lot of us were checking codes and doing stuff. I was very lucky I got a fact-checking job at new york magazine and and I was checking one of their shopping guides And then I was checking their front of the front of the magazine Which was it was it was stressful as a weekly magazine that they they took fact-checking very seriously And that's what helped me to become a better reporter because you had to go through Every sentence with a highlighter and make sure everything was correct here and uh, and it I that's the way I let's look at comedy that way. I still want to fact-check all my chunks newspapers Used to be a cash cow. Yes Newspapers if you owned a newspaper it was a license to print money Yes What changed that? I think the fewer people read read newspapers I think people are getting more of their news online and I used to I used to also the classifieds got replaced by craigslist Which is already which is I think is Yeah, I think that's definitely true But I also think this people just started I used to get very impatient with a lot of the print guys at the daily news They'd say what are we why are we giving away the news for free who's going to buy the paper? And we would say or my boss would say people who buy the paper are not the people who read it online But all these years later I I agree with with with the news guys because in the end If you can give it away for free, it's not worth paying for and the way that people create news now Um, you know, you always you go for what's going to get you the biggest clicks because the clicks are going to You know help you get your your digital ad rates blah blah blah So everyone has the same story and people will buy, you know Insights about things things that are breaking from other agents There's a place that just sell news insights and everyone buys the same insights. Why there's the same news everywhere um Because it's cheaper to do that and to get these like short term hits and wins that it is to invest In you know to be like the times, you know to invest in these seven to eight month investigative stories And then everyone I think I think what is hurting journalism is Newspapers are up against what I call like sovereign funds the sovereign fund is like The nation of Saudi Arabia, right investing in Fox news or or apple I mean there there are countries that have just unlimited resources and they can actually invest like I would look at Al Jazeera that Yeah, that went well Well, but it is going well and they can well, let me I'll give you an example of that because Has all this oil money where they used to have it before the price of oil collapsed And they were able to build this news gathering organization And they didn't care if they lost money, right? Because they had all this money and they it was a vanity project that could Bring money in ways that are immeasurable because you have so much money You can take on something like Al Jazeera and get it back in other ways Just like as a peak for pr for example. Yeah, but I think eventually they start to care There was a great magazine out of I think Abu Dhabi in the early 2000s called the national and they They poached all the top talent at the wall street journal Chronicle of higher education just a lot of friends the wall street journal who moved to Abu Dhabi and did journalism for the national and it was at the pleasure of Of the king of jordan, I'm not a hundred percent sure but it was at the it was And they had a limitless budget and until they just didn't and then they shut it, you know And I think with Al Jazeera why suddenly Al Jazeera is shuttering is well first of all They just why they had the vanity to keep calling it Al Jazeera for the u.s It should call the american eagle patriotism You know american flag network Um I just think that that they have the money to spend until they don't and then you're talking about Al Jazeera america Yes, yeah, but the Al Jazeera the the world Right organization, but they were they were they were dumping so much money into Al Jazeera america They were I mean I see where my friends go a lot of people from abc ended up at Al Jazeera And had a really talented group of people over there and the way that they were covering paris and the way they were covering University of missouri black lives matter they were covering it in a way that was very european It was very good measured And they you know Just just kind of waiting for news to come in and reporting As opposed to being in the situation room and just like shouting, you know in a way That's very american But in the end they who what american who wants to watch something called Al Jazeera and their mind It's a chronic white spots the al-qaeda network And that's really how most people think and how can you blame them to have the hubris to not rebrand it? Is that's just that's that's idiotic? Uh, yeah, but by the way Al Jazeera is still very much in business But Al Jazeera is kind of like the daily news and that more zuckerman who made a lot of money in real estate Yes Took on he said i want to own a newspaper Did you see what donald trump called more zuckerman? Um, a little a little guy a little businessman All right. Oh, yeah, he's like like a daily news More you know and because became his real estate the real estate pissing it's his big dick slapping fight So it's owned by this is the problem When vanity projects when when a a billionaire buys a newspaper because he just Wants it for fun They don't compete the way Like the new york times does i mean the new york times is a publicly held company And they have to turn a profit and if they don't turn a profit they got to bring in carlo's slim from x And that's why the new york times continues to be a world-class Operation is because they have nothing else to fall back on I I think journalism is a public trust It's not a vanity project and there are things that the government can do To protect newspapers and magazines and local tv and radio and that is Put back the bands on how many radio stations And television stations you can own and there used to be a time when you couldn't own a newspaper And a television station in the same market I think you should they should become not for profit They should become aligned with the university or just find some other it does That seems to be the next thing but you know what they are they can be profitable if the government would allow competition You shouldn't allow Somebody to just buy up things and control the entire Market i mean it's anti there are there's antitrust laws already on the book That if the justice department Use those laws we could have a real real journalism in You know you go to a city like buffalo They don't have any newspapers. They don't have local radio the local radio local radio stations used to have newsrooms There's definitely there's definitely a lot of local news up in buffalo. I don't say there's definitely a newspaper up in buffalo Yeah, but there was a time when every radio station had a newsroom Right Those days are over well Yeah, I think that's because of that's because the justice department allows somebody like clear channel or cbs to buy up all these radio stations and Uh, they fire They streamline and then the FCC says you know what you can own a radio station But you don't have you can use the public airwaves, but you don't have to use them as a public trust You don't we'll just give you the we'll just give you the these airwaves And you don't even have to do anything in return no community programming no news. There was a time when The government said you want the airwaves You have to have a newsroom you have to serve the community all that talk is is such an anathema to republicans You know the idea that that the government should should have any control over all these things It's it's it's it's very interesting. I was listening to this um I was i've been reading listening to this podcast about uh, but macartheism and there and it was talking about um Uh how Hearst was just made um anti-americanism and and uh, and I think in hollywood being a hotbed for communist His own personal thing and he used his publications to be this his his voice about his opinions And he did a lot of damage to a lot of people in their careers and in the end that's why you own a newspaper You know really I mean I remember um mort um endorsed romney Um in the daily news and readers were like appalled, you know because that's so opposite to a daily news reader But but that's why you own a newspaper so you can So you can say that um is it the right thing to do? No, but That's why people do things um I don't know. I I mean I I I think things are so bad right now, and I think that so much talent is moving toward Um to brands and sponsored content um that I think that things are pretty grim But I think they're gonna turn around I think that a lot of people who are moving toward the business side of things are getting the education that they're Going to take back to take back journalism. I think that now things are are so bad Um and the huffington post has done a huge disservice making all this content free and not paying its writers And I think it's giving everyone else the idea. I actually come I compare um Comedy and journals until me are very similar. It's a very seamless transition for me because um I always I said the big clubs are like the newspapers They're they're venerable and they're kind of like dinosaurs and you respect them But you're not sure why because when you read it It's not as great as you thought it was and as you go there It's not that nice and the smaller shows the ones that I'm on like the bar shows They're like blogs Some of them are fantastic like deadspin or gawker and you're like wow I can't believe I'm getting all this amazing stuff for free and some of it is just like the worst lower end garbage But in the end you're you're all getting it for free and no one's getting paid And there's so much of it that the value is completely lost. Yeah, so I'm a big believer and you have to get paid for for the work you do And I I'm seeing some smaller publications a really cool. Um Publication called belt, which um, they they write about, you know, kind of you know, kind of like the rust belt And they report on Ohio and Cleveland and Detroit and it's a subscription model And you can only and and they have a product product. Sorry. I know they have journalism and Photography you can't get it anywhere else. You have to create a model of like The in the old days I used to read like spin and rolling stone and like sassy magazine They were like membership had its privileges like you got stuff you couldn't get anywhere else You got like presents from them like you wanted to be a part of this team There's none none of these brands all these brands want you to love them But what do you get from them? You know, you have to I think eventually there's going to have to be a subscription model and people are just going to have to eat it And and I I don't know. I think it's I think it actually Helps people To charge there's a tsunami of information coming your way because it's all free Yeah, if I pay like I subscribe to the new york times and it's very expensive So I read my new york times exactly and and because I'm paying for it Uh, if I go online and I can read us a today for free That just becomes part of that second wave of information coming my way that I'm drowning under sure if you pay for quality You'll consume that first right and you'll you'll you'll consume it first And you'll be loyal to that particular and you'll be so nourished that you won't feel the need to read us a today exactly and and The other thing is like so I once um I had a job where I had to interview a lot of college graduates And I said to them, where do you get your news and you know, some of them lied and they said Oh, I read the new york times every day whatever and the ones that were honest said I read the new york times But I mostly find the links from twitter and facebook and that makes sense I mean, I don't look down on them for that But that you can see what your friends are recommending on facebook and and they're all recommending is not so hot You like you're not getting the real you're getting very slanted crappy news and you're just spreading this bullshit about about science and about Candidates and just about things that are happening in the world that old information being repackaged is new So I think that if you subscribe you become you're you're investing in that company's You know commitment to journalism like I read I read the economist Yep, um and that because and they they it's expensive, but they they're amazing and they save you time It's yeah, because I don't want to look anywhere else. Why do they save you time? Because it's all it's I mean they don't I mean they definitely they're they have their own slant of things, but That's that's where I get this is the thing I this is why I subscribe to the economist because I clicked on a link on twitter and I was disappointed enough times I couldn't read it But what what the economist does is they save you time because they write very concisely. Yes, they write very concisely I hate think pieces. I hate people's opinions So I want your opinion I'll I'll I'll ask for it, but I think it's there's this and what is the one thing that they do That nobody else does I'll say well, they don't have bylines. They don't have bylines. That's okay. Yes But the one thing they do is they don't give you color. They don't give you anecdotal stories. They get right to the facts Yeah, and I don't want to hear how citizens united Is affecting a middle-class single mom in detroit. I want to know what citizens united is The story behind it how it happened and what it's doing to the country as a whole I'm so sick and tired of picking up a newspaper and they they always single out this one person to show how I don't and that's the great thing about the economist because because they think you have to humanize it I always have a joke that I should take a picture of myself holding a photograph starring out a window in case someone I know dies It's also I mean, I'm very cynical about news and the way the news is packaged and presented Um, I hate think pieces. I hate. I hate something. I hate feelings I have a lot of feelings as a person But I just feel I just see I'm saying feel right now I can't stand how It's just there's it's just easier to write a quick piece about your opinion on something that is to research a story And it'll get just as many clicks as it will, you know, so after everything happens I always say I can feel the think pieces coming on. I could feel it, you know Like today with trump, um getting to a fight with the pope You just it's just going to be the barrage of nonsense and if it has anything to do with anything It's not going to affect the election, you know I'm sure trump supporters who also love the pope. I but the whole it just it's just it's not it's not going to It's just it's just two guys with crazy things on top of their heads arguing exactly and and also it's and just report the story He said this it's you know, but not like what it really means that if I could I hate when people do though um What we talk about when we talk about blank headline when they should literally pay raven carver's estate every time they use that Fucking headline. It's disgusting. I hate um 10 things that I hate. I hate listicles Um, I hate what we mean when we say I just it's just it's just blather. Just give a real headline Right. Just give people the news. It's not I don't know. I don't know if it's and I don't think it's just millennials Wanting it to be served to him that way. I think that we're just creating cheaper product Lindsay Goldworth is a journalist and her new podcast coming out of these studios. It's called spent And it's going to be money. It's going to be talking about money and you're also a great comedian Where can we see you doing your stand-up? Well, well, you can come see me on friday the 26th I put on a show once a month in sunny side queens at maggie maze, which is on 41 dash 15 Queens boulevard. It's a great room and we're going to be serving extra Guinness because it's the bars anniversary. We have a fantastic lineup And uh, yes, I'll be there on the 26th. So definitely come and hang out It's a free show, but we do put out a bucket and we do ask that you give a little bit of money So the comics don't resort to a life of crime. How do people follow you on twitter? You can right now. You can just follow me at Lindsay Goldworth. How do you spell go word? Let's see if you can get this right. It is uh, it's at l i n d s a y g o l d w e r t Correct I did it. Thank you and look for spent. We'll we'll be plugging it. Thank you so much. Yeah, I'm a big fan of this podcast too I wish I was a little funnier on it, but you're talking about serious. You're fantastic. Thank you The david feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you you sad pathetic humps