 The Herald Perry Show as Honest Herald the Homemaker. Well, here we are back in Melrose Springs, home of that popular radio entertainer Honest Herald the Homemaker. There's a new topic of conversation in this little household for Herald's young cousin Raymond has fallen head over heels in love. The object of Raymond's affection is Gloria O'Day, switchboard operator at the local radio station. Right now we find Herald and his mother at the breakfast table discussing love's young dream over their oatmeal. Well, mother, so little cousin Raymond is in love. He certainly is, Herald. He and Gloria are so cute together. I thought reclining Raymond was too lazy to fall in love. Well, I guess the love bug bit him. Yeah, must have bit him while he was lying down. Herald. Only kidding, mother. Well, being in love has changed Raymond. He's made him very ambitious. While he practices on his saxophone all day long. Yes, I've heard him there. Oh, isn't it wonderful? His new orchestra is playing at the Elks Dance tonight. Yeah, I know, mother. I'm taking Theodora. Oh, how nice. What's Raymond calling his orchestra? Oh, he thought of a wonderful name. Raymond and his gas house five. Minus one. Minus one. Oh, goodness. And their slogan is, the sweetest music this side of Charlieville. Oh, that's a pretty long slogan to paint on a drum, mother. Isn't it wonderful, Herald? Raymond's in love with Gloria and you're in love with Theodora. Well, I wonder when the love bug is going to bite me. Mother. Only kidding, Harold. Oh, that's good. Oh, if there's Raymond, that's his theme song for Gloria. Oh, it is? Raymond, come to breakfast. The object of my affection can change my... Good morning, Raymond. Good morning, Gloria. Gloria? Raymond, remember me? I'm your cousin, Harold. Oh, hello, cousin Harold. Good morning, Raymond. Good morning, Gloria. Wake up, Raymond, and sit down. Sit down? All right. Raymond, get off of my lap. Your chair's over there. Oh, excuse me. Well, I'll go scramble your eggs, Raymond. You'd better poach him, mother. He's scrambled enough now. Oh, gee. Isn't love wonderful, cousin Harold? Well, yes. I see Gloria everywhere. Right now I see her face before me. That's your old male lead, Raymond. All right. Well, my boy, I know how you feel, young in love. Yeah. I guess you're pretty excited, Raymond. About your orchestra playing at the dance tonight. Yeah. And she'll be there. When I'm up there holding my saxophone, I'll really be holding Gloria. Huh? Sounds like you'll have your hands full, my boy. You know, Harold, I stayed awake all last night, writing a poem to Gloria. You want to hear it? A poem? Well, all right. Gloria, Gloria, I adore you. I want to see you more and more. I'd even follow you to Peoria. I think I'm going out to Doria. See you later, Raymond. Old cousin's really in love. Gloria, I adore you. Brother, is that corny? Kids are wonderful. There's Gloria. I wonder if she's in the days like Raymond. Good morning, Gloria. Good morning, Raymond. Yes, she is. Gloria, I'm Harold Hemp, remember? Who? Harold Hemp. Oh, he isn't in right now. Would you like to leave a message? What? Oh, brother. Oh, hello, Harold. Oh, thank you. You and Raymond really got it bad, haven't you, Gloria? Uh-huh. Well, I think it's kind of cute, though. After all, it's love that makes the world go round. Uh-huh. Made her a little dizzy. You know, Raymond just called. He did. He's beautiful. I guess love is blind. Well... And I told him I could listen to him play the saxophone all day. Love must be death, too. Harold, I wrote a poem to Raymond last night. You too? Do you want to hear it? Oh, sure. Why not? You connect with Gregory Peck. What? I'll take Raymond. And you can be gay with Turham Bay. I'll take Raymond. And you can spark with Dick Widmark. Gloria. I'll be Pally with Rudy Valley. I'll take Raymond, yeah. Oh, do you know it, too? Indubitably, yes. I get the idea. Well, there are 12 more verses. No, some other time. I gotta go in now and do my radio program. Oh. Love, poetry. That's real kid stuff. Oh, Harold, I forgot there's a letter here for you. Mark, personal. Letter for me? Oh, thank you. I wonder who it's from. Uh-huh. From Theodora. Let's see. Dear Harold, I was just thinking of you and I wrote you this little poem. Oop. Tonight will be my night of romance. I'll be waltzing with you at the Elk's Dance. I won't know anybody else's there because I'll be with my fuzzy-wuzzy teddy bear. Fuzzy-wuzzy teddy bear. Oh. Gloria, cut that out. Oh, well, what the heck? The door gets around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good morning, listeners. This is Honest Harold, the homemaker. Thank you, fellas. Once again, bringing you 30 minutes of rhyme, rhythm, and recipes. Folks, this morning I want to open my little program with a little song. It's about that popular subject, love, widely discussed by both sexes. I'd like to dedicate this song to two young friends of mine who were that way and a certain young lady. Well, this is for everybody who's in love. Hit it, Yasha. I don't care if the sun don't shine I get my lovin' in the evening time When I'm with my baby It's no fun with the sun around But I get goin' when the sun goes down And I meet my baby That's when we kiss And kiss and kiss And then we kiss some more Don't ask how many times we kiss At a time like this Who keeps score So I don't care if the sun don't shine I'll get my lovin' in the evening time When I'm with my baby Cousin Harold. Oi, Raymond, what's the matter? Gloria can't go to the dance with me. What? Gloria isn't going to the dance? Nope, her mother won't let her. Her mother won't let her? Why not? I don't know. Gloria wouldn't tell me. She just called up and said she couldn't go. That's all. That's too bad, my boy. I know tonight meant a lot to you, too, Cousin. Yeah. Your first night with your new orchestra and everything? I know little Gloria was looking forward to it, too. Yeah, and now she won't be there. Oh, I'm sorry, my boy. I'll be up there playing my saxophone, but my heart won't be in it. That's too bad. I just can't understand why Gloria's mother changed her mind, my boy. In a minute like this, there must be some misunderstanding. I guess so. I can't figure it out. Say, suppose I went over and talked to her. Maybe I could straighten this thing out. Gee, would you, Cousin Harold? Yeah, you just leave everything to me. Oh, thanks. Oh, you're a swell guy. Gosh, I feel better already. Now I can put my heart in my saxophone again. I think I better go over there right now. Hope Gloria's mother is home. I know what she's got against Raymond. Maybe she heard him play the saxophone. Could be you. Oh, Mrs. O'Dayne? Uh, yes? I'm Harold Hymf. I work at the radio station with Gloria. You've probably heard my program, Honest Harold, The Homemaker. Oh, of course. I just love your singing. Oh, thank you. A charming woman. You're the only radio singer I can hear over my vacuum cleaner. Thank you. Mrs. O'Dayne, I wonder if I could talk to you for just a minute. Oh, of course, of course. Come in. Thank you. Mrs. O'Dayne, you closed the door. Down, Mr. Harold. Thank you. Mrs. O'Dayne? I knew you were coming to see me today. Oh, did Raymond call? No. The stars told me. My horoscope said I would receive a visit from a stranger. Horoscope? Yes. I'm a Gemini, you know. Oh? Well, I belong to the moose myself. Oh, no, no, no, no. Gemini is a sign in the zodiac. A sign in the... Oh, that's very interesting. Mrs. O'Dayne, the reason I came over... Mr. Hymf, when were you born? July 25th. I knew it. You're a Leo. I am. Leo the lion. Why, you even look like a lion. Oh, well, I'm wearing my hair a little long now. Wintertime, you know. Mrs. O'Dayne? Yes? I was just wondering why Gloria can't go to the dance tonight with Raymond. Oh, well, you see, Gloria is a Capricorn. She has? I mean, she is? Yes. And this is a bad night for Capricorn. Oh, yeah. According to the astrological chart, tonight the new moon falls into the second house opposite Saturn, right across from Uranus. Oh, sure. That's right down there by the hardware store. And oh, Uranus! Now, that means that Jupiter is dropping down and making an unfavorable contact with Mars, which dominates the sun and closes the orb two degrees. Oh, brother. That puts us in the lunar phase. You said it. But, but Mrs. O'Dayne, don't you think that may... Mr. Hemp? Huh? I have just been struck by an idea. Oh? Gloria can go to that dance with Raymond tonight. She can? Oh, that's wonderful. That'll make those kids awfully happy. The only thing we have to worry about is Jupiter. Jupiter? Oh, but I know how we can out with that naughty planet. Oh? We'll surround Gloria with harmonious influences. Oh, great idea. What harmonious influences? Leo and Gemini. That's you and I. What? Yes, if we go to the dance together, Gloria will be perfectly safe. Oh, well, that's... But you see, I'm supposed to go with... Oh, won't Gloria and Raymond be happy? Yeah. See you tonight, Leo. Oh, brother, what am I going to tell Theodora? Jupiter would be so angry. I think I'll sail with him. I'll date with Theodora, but I'll just have to do it. I promise to help those kids. I can't let them down. Oh, Theodora will understand. It's Haroldy-Weldy, Theodora. Be firm, Honest Harold. Oh, hello, Harold. I was just thinking about you. Yes. And about the wonderful time we'll have the dance tonight. Oh, yeah. It's going to be a lovely night. The moon will be out. So will Jupiter. What? Oh, nothing. Theodora. Yes. Theodora, there's something I've got to tell you. You see... Oh, and have I got something to tell you? Oh, what's that? I had the funniest dream last night. You did? Yes. I dreamt you weren't going to take me to the dance tonight. Oh, brother. Wasn't that a silly dream? Theodora. And then I found out you were taking another woman. Another woman. And when I saw you with her, do you know what I did? What? I shot you. Now what did you want to tell me, Harold? I'll pick you up at eight o'clock sharp. In just a little while from now hop along Cassidy's ride and then to pay one of his famous visits to Sagalong Crosby, otherwise known as Bing. Lovely Peggy Lee will be joining the boys, too, on the Bing Crosby show. Be sure to listen for Harold Perry's important announcement at the close of our show. And now back to Honest Harold, the homemaker. Well, Honest Harold doesn't need a horoscope to tell him this is one of his unfavorable days. He has a date with two women for one dance, and that foreshadows nothing but trouble. It's late afternoon now, and we find Honest Harold, or Leo the lion, nervously pacing up and down his office. What am I going to do? If I take Gloria's mother to the dance, I'll disappoint Theodora. If I take Theodora, I'll be letting Raymond and Gloria down. Who am I going to disappoint? Theodora. Or Raymond and Gloria. Be nice taking Theodora. She's so beautiful. After the dance, I'd take her home in the moonlight, and we'd stand on the front porch real close. I'd put my arms around her, and she'd say, Kiss me, Harold. Zeef. That settles it. I'm going to take Theodora. I'll call Mrs. O'Day right now and tell her that I can't... Hi there, Cousy Harold. Hello, Harold. Hello, Gloria and Raymond. How are you two kids? Oh, Harold, we just came in to tell you we think you're a wonderful guy. We don't know how to thank you. You gave up your date with Theodora just for us. Well, you see... And my mother says you're the nicest Leo she ever met. But, kid, I'm really lucky to have a cousin like you. And I'm lucky to have you for a friend. Children, listen. We know you wanted to take Theodora, but did you think of yourself? Well... No. And when you had to make a choice, did you hesitate? Well... No. Here's what we think of you. Come on, Raymond. More. He's a jolly good Leo. He's a jolly good Leo. Kiss. He's a jolly good Leo. And mother's a jamlin' eye. Oh, watch the youth. Mother to the dance, all right. Just my luck. I'm a jolly good Leo. Say, just thought of something. Suppose I get her a date with another jolly Leo. That would solve everything. Sure. Let me see. Who do I know that might be a Leo? I think I'll drop in here and see Pete the Marshal. Doesn't look much like a lion, but you can never tell what's inside. Well, hello, Pete. Oh, hello, Harold. Pete, when were you born? How's that, boy? Yeah. What's the date? What's the date of your birth? Let me see. Oh, sure. I can't remember, Harold. What? You mean to say you don't remember when you were born? Well, I was pretty young at the time. Look, Pete, what I'm trying to find out is what sign were you born under? Oh, I remember the sign I was born under. Good. What was it? Quiet hospital zone. All right, Pete. That's enough of your so-called humor. All I want to know is what month you were born in. Oh, you want to know my birthday? Yeah. Oh, sure, Harold. You don't have to buy me a birthday present. What? No, just come in and sing Happy Birthday, Pete. It's the thought that counts, you know. Will you listen for a minute? I want you to help me out. Pete, I'm trying to find somebody to take a very attractive lady to the Elk's Dance tonight. Oh? But he's got to be a Leo. How's that? Are you a Leo? No. I'm a Pete. You're a fathead. No. No, I'm a Pete. Say, I know a Leo, though. You do? Who is he? My cousin, Leo Hossfield. Leo? I don't care about his name. When was he born? Oh, Harold, you don't have to get him a birthday present either. What? You hardly know him, boy. Pete, will you listen? Just sing Happy Birthday, Leo Hossfield. Oh, Happy Birthday yourself. Well, thanks, Harold. And the same to you. And I'll tell cousin Leo you were asking about him. Oh, goodbye. That Pete. Well, maybe I'll have better luck with Doc Yancey. Wonder what sign the old horse doctor was born under. Probably Taurus the Bull. I'm in. Hello, Doc. Oh, I'll be right with you. I'm just clipping this sheep, Eloise. Oh? Say hello to Harold, Eloise. Well, how she meant that? Doc. Just a minute, Harold. I'm going around a curve. Huh? Here, I'll hold the mirror for you, Eloise. How's it looking back? Look, Doc, I've become sort of interested in astrology. I'm trying to find out what month my friends were born in. Oh? Well, I'm a great believer in horoscopes, myself. Oh, you are? Well, Doc, what month? Yes, sir. You know, Harold, the zodiac applies to animals as well as people. Animals? Sure. Now, you take my mule, Elmer. He's a typical Sagittarius. He's stubborn, bulky, doesn't say much. No kidding. Or take my airdale, Taurus. You can take one look at Taurus and say, now, that dog is a Libra. A Libra. He's the intellectual type, fond of good literature. Spends his evenings reading the labels on red-heart cans. Okay, Doc, I'll get him the Rover Boys for Christmas. Doc, when were you born? Me? Oh, July 27th. Leo. You are? Say, that's wonderful. Well, I guess it's the best sign in the zodiac. We Leo men are handsome, charming, brilliant. Yes, I know, Doc. I'm a Leo, too. Oh, you are? Yeah. I never would have thought it. Now, look, Doc, old friend, you can really help me out. You can take a very charming lady friend of mine to the dance tonight. You see, I'm sort of tied up myself. I'd love to, Harold, but I can't. I promise to see Marie tonight. Marie, who's she? A Cocker Spaniel. Yeah. She has a cold, and I'm going to sit up with her. Oh, Fred. Now, she's an Aquarius. Loves water sports. Oh, you're a fine friend, Doc. Goodbye. I'll bear yourself. I'm sunk. I might as well go over and tell Theodore I can't take her. She'll probably never speak to me again. Oh, dear. What's that? Must be one of those new automobile horns. Oh, my goodness, it's Gloria's mother. Hello, Mr. Leo. Oh, hello, Mrs. Gemini. I am Mrs. O'Day. Mr. Hemp. Yeah? Something awful just happened. What's that? Well, you know, I was worried about Jupiter tonight. Yeah? Well, I just reread the horoscope, and I found I made a mistake. You did? Yes. Jupiter won't be out at all. Oh? He's going to spend the night in the house of Pluto. Pluto? Well, I guess he's in the doghouse, too. This has happened for Gemini. Oh? Oh, Ryan will be running wild tonight. You will? I never heard of a Ryan. Stranger in town? Oh, Ryan is a constellation. Oh? When O' Ryan is out, I have to stay in. Oh, well, that's logical. So you, you and Gloria and Raymond will have to go without me. I do hope you won't mind. Mind? No, I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with O' Ryan. Oh, thank you. Well, I better hurry home now. Yeah? Goodbye, Mr. Hemp. Goodbye. Faith and I thank you, O' Ryan. The jabbers, it looks like I'll see Venus tonight. I got this Elks Hall fixed up real nice, haven't they, Theodora? Yes, it looks beautiful. So do you. Why? Thank you, sir. That's a wonderful perfume you're wearing. I'm glad you like it. It's called Night in the Jungle. Well, here comes Leo the Lion. Hello, Gloria. I'm so happy. Look at Raymond on the bandstand. Doesn't he look handsome in his tuxedo? Yeah, he used to be mine. Hello, Raymond. Hi. Her old mother said she's sorry she couldn't come just because that old O' Ryan showed up tonight. O' Ryan? Her brother-in-law flew in on the constellation. What? From Ireland. See you later, Gloria. Wow. Raymond's going to make an announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, our first number will be a waltz. Dedicated to Harold and Theodora. Well, little cubs. Our favorite. Wonderful one. That sounds nice. So romantic. Yeah, what a wonderful evening this is going to be. A Night in the Jungle. Just think, I'll have every dance with you. Well. Hello, Harold. Theodora. Doc. Howdy, boy. Oh, my goodness. He too. Hello, boy. Two old friends decided to come down to help you out, Harold. But, fellas, I don't need any help. Is this the charming lady you wanted us to dance with? Hey, Harold, she's a doozy. Fellas, listen. May I have this waltz, Miss Theodora? Well, if Harold doesn't mind. What? And Pete, you can have the next one. Doc, what about me? You just have to wait your turn, Harold. Remember, I'm a Leo. Wow. We have mine, Theodora. One, two. Harold, yes, Pete. I want to dance this one with me, boy. What? Oh, what the heck? Okay, Pete, but I'll lead. A special message from the star of our show, Harold Parry. Thank you, Bob. Remember, folks, last week I asked you to send in Christmas gifts for the wounded GIs from Korea who were hospitalized at Travis Air Base near San Francisco, California? I want to thank all of you wonderful people for your overwhelming response. The gifts have been rolling in, so keep them rolling. Send your gifts to me, Harold Parry, Post Office Box 150, Los Angeles, 53, California. Post Office Box 150, Los Angeles, 53, California. I'll deliver your presents personally when I fly up to Travis Air Base December the 23rd to place Santa Claus for the boys. I'm taking along a company of entertainers from Hollywood and I've just been informed that the San Francisco examiner has arranged for some additional entertainers to augment our show. Please, folks, if you haven't already done so, go right out now and send your gift. I'll be back with your name and address so the fellows will be able to say thank you. Now, here's the address once more. Mail your gift to Harold Parry, Post Office Box 150, Los Angeles, 53. And remember, this is your chance to give a merry Christmas to those boys who have given so much for us. Thank you and good night. You have just heard the Harold Parry Show, Honest Harold. The supporting players tonight included Jane Morgan, Eddie Firestone, Isabelle Randolph, Mari Alden and Polly Bayer, and featured Gloria Holiday as Gloria and Joseph Kearns as Old Doc Yak Yak. Norman McDonald directed and the music was composed and conducted by Jack Meakin. Honest Harold, created by Harold Parry, was written by Gene Stone and Jack Robinson. You did a pretty good job, didn't I? Fine job. Stay tuned now for the Bing Crosby Show which follows immediately on most of these same CVS stations. Bob LeMond speaking. This is CVS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.