Published on Jul 30, 2012
I'm leaving today... so yeah, possibly no post for this week--- till the 8th, unless i got internet at the other place - which I'm not sure about. Okay? Bye, lovelies :))
And of course Louis. He was new to our school -- right after I finished the last stages of grief, he has come to our school and we became friends with him.
Louis had something very warm around him. He felt like a sun. Around him it was guaranteed to be funny and just comfortable. He has that effect on everyone. He has the most infectious of smiles and can make everything do what he wants, just because he is that amazingly sweet that others wanted to please him as well. Louis must be one of the best things in my life, I came long to conclusion.
Back into the present, Louis has his arm wrapped around my shoulder, leading me toward the cafeteria. In front of me, there are my two best friends walking. One of them - Selena with her boyfriend.
I couldn't help but stare at the person that has dominated my mind for the past 3 years, as I close my eyes in pain, when knowing that we could never go back to how we were. Things have changed -- he has too. He no longer was the dorky, adorable boy I used to call my best friend. He no longer was my Harry.
Replacing his poor small figure, he has grown quite tall, with lean muscles, his curls have grown longer, what remained the same was the childish look in his eyes -- the way his emerald, jade green eyes blinked when he looks at a person and the way his dimples showed when he really enjoyed something, or when he simply smiled. He has grown into quite the eye-catch too, causing heads to turn whenever he walked by.
Yes, Harry has changed. He no longer is my Harry, not only because he has grown up, but because he now is Selena's boyfriend. Selena. My best friend's boyfriend. The one that knew all about my heartbreak after my childhood friend left me. After her current BOYFRIEND left me. It all felt so twisted and wrong. I didn't even know what to think... didn't know what to say.
You may wonder now, why he's back, after 3 years? Well, the current date is May, 2010. And Harry has returned around March, moving back to next door. A house that I couldn't look at for 3 years, because it brought back too many memories that hurt, when knowing the person that meant the most, lived there, but then disappeared.
I didn't know how to approach him, when I saw him, and I even considered pretending I didn't know him, feeling too horrible for how I've reacted. But to my surprise, Harry has been very... different. He has approached me, the moment he recognized me, engulfing me into a tight hug. He has screamed my name from the top of his lungs, picking me up and spinning me around.
I couldn't help but laugh and beg him to let me down. I knew I felt whole again the moment he had me wrapped in his arms. It felt wrong, but so right at the same time. He has been more than joyous, if not thrilled to see me. And that made me re-think and wonder whether our separation has really been right in my memories -- where I hurt him so badly by running off, or whether it has been all just a nightmare. But actually, I know better than pretending to be THAT blue-eyed.
"I missed you," he has breathed out, and that was when I noticed his deep voice. He definitely has changed, not only from the outside, but inside as well.
I returned the words, meaning so much more behind it then the platonic feelings that he now shared for me. And the mere thought of the truth in it stabbed me right in the heart.
"Back into the present, please." I hear Louis' voice and snap out of my thoughts. I smile at him, forcing it a little, once realizing we're seated on a table. With 'we' I mean, myself next to Louis and Hilary, while Selena sits opposite with Harry right in front of me. She snuggles into his arm, enjoying their closeness, while I feel nothing but pure pain in my heart. I told myself, that this is what I could've had, if only I wasn't such a scared coward.
I turn my head toward Louis, forcing a smile and nodding my head. As much as I wasn't 'okay', that doesn't mean I want anyone to know about it. In fact, I rather have my friends believe I'm still happy. Well, as happy as they know me to capable of being.
"Uh-huh," Louis then response, his eyes -- a beautiful mixture of cobalt, aqua and oceanic colours stare into my eyes, and the very same moment I realize that he isn't convinced. Of course not, Louis knows me better than this.
*comments make me happy. + if you dont like the celebs = they are just names with characters that I made up. They have nothing to with the actual celebs - just like sorta similar
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