 The National Broadcasting Company presents the Big Show, the first half hour presented by the makers of Reynolds Aluminum, the Reynolds Metals Company, and starring the glamorous, unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead. America, we're going to fill your pilot full of star. For the next hour and 30 minutes, you will be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business, such bright stars as... Fred Allen. Bill Foster. Julie Harris. Portland's Hoffa. Groucho Mark. Ethel Merman. William Prince. George Sandler. Earl Wrightson. Meredith Wilson. And my name, darlings, is Tallulah Bankhead. I'm a little sad today. This is our last show of the season. It has been a turbulent 30 weeks, but despite the squabbles and the temperamental outbursts, all of us on the show have learned to know and appreciate each other to the fullest. And thank heaven we won't have to look at each other again for four months. And you, darlings, our listeners, thanks for those thousands of letters. I've read every one of them. And believe me, when I say in all sincerity, I don't know how they are lost off like that in the mill. I don't know where people get the impressions of me like that suspect the critic a few years ago. He fancied himself a bit and wrote this neurotic line, quote, A day away from Tallulah is like a month in the country. So after our final show today, it looks like all of you will have a delightful summer. But what happened to me? Where do I go to get away from myself? Oh, well, I'm going to miss you all terribly. And especially our darling sponsor and his lovely checks. And made our two to aluminum bankhead. I can hardly wait till our return engagements. Well, Miss Bankhead, here's another return engagement that everybody is looking forward to eagerly. The return of Reynolds Wrap, the original and genuine, the pure aluminum foil in handy kitchen rolls. When military needs for aluminum took most of this favorite wrap away, there was a promise made. Remember, the advertisements showed packages of Reynolds Wrap flying off like jet planes with the caption, Return Flight Guaranteed. Well, it's coming closer now. There's more Reynolds Wrap on the way for roasting meat to juicy perfection for covering bowls and ratting leftovers. It's still hard to find on store shelves, but it's becoming more and more plentiful as aluminum production keeps expanding. Keep asking for Reynolds Wrap, that bright symbol of the age of aluminum. Reynolds Aluminum. Well, darlings, we might as well begin our last show of the season on a happy note. A loud happy note. Because Ethel Merman is going to sing. For our selection tonight, Ethel has chosen a song which she has made into a classic. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Musical Comedy herself singing Heat Wave. Meredith Darling, if you please. Certainly can speedway. And in such a way that... A lusty bit of singing, I'm sure our listeners would like a moment to straighten out the pictures on their walls. So, darling, let's have a little chat. And since this is our last show this season, how about keeping it on a friendly basis? Why, certainly, Tallulah. After all, you know what I think of you. Starting right in, are you? Oh, no. I mean, I think of you as the greatest actress in the theater. As a matter of fact, all the critics called you the greatest actress in the theater 20 years ago. My dear girl, and I say that it buzzed it. Nobody has called you that in 20 years. I only wanted to bring up a question, so stop it, Ethel. Yeah, no stamina. She breaks up all the time. But isn't it strange that my show closes tonight and your show called me, Madam, closes in a couple of weeks? Well, what's strange about that? Your show always did close before mine. Are you implying that your shows have been more successful than mine? Who's implying? I just came out and said it. Uh, look who just came out. Oh, well, getting upset about it. It's so nice to know that in an hour and a half, you'll be last season's show. Oh, boy, Ethel. I suppose... I'm sorry, nobody gave me that cut. Tallulah, you're mad. No, darling, I'm not angry. I didn't say angry. I said you're mad. Wild, uninhibited, unpredictable, you know, crazy. I don't care what you say about me. It doesn't hurt me. I'm too thick-skinned. Took the words right out of my own venomous mouth, darling. Well, now, what's the use of pursuing this any further? You know. What, the first moron said to the second moron. No, Tallulah, what did you say to the second moron? I said Ethel, I said. Well, I guess that's my fault. I should have taken my vacation a couple of weeks earlier. Well, where are you going on your vacation, darling? She's been waiting for 70 rounds. To the coast. Oh, isn't this rather early in the season for far rock away? I'm going to make a picture out there. Call me Madam. Oh, yes, you're always in those musicals. I take my place straight. Like you do everything else. How would you like two fingers right now? One in each eye? Oh, excuse me, laddies. That's laddies. Indeed. George, this is Ethel Merman. She's the dearest friend I have. Pity. Tallulah, you're not introducing me to George. I know him. George is playing opposite me in the picture we're making this summer. Pity. So usually we're going out to Hollywood to make a picture. Nobody cares what happens to me. I'll be here all by myself, friendless, helpless, just wasting away all by myself. Self-pity. My dear ladies, and I use the word in a broad sense. We've been standing here for some minutes having a delightful chat, haven't you? And while standing here, I experienced the fond hope that I would die. What makes you think you haven't, darling? Because this obviously is not heaven. Well, George, why don't you prove it isn't by singing? Ladies and gentlemen, it was during our first show of this season in London that we discovered that Mr. Sanders was the possessor of a brilliant and exciting singing voice. He was a terrific hit when he sang for us at the Palladium Theatre. Avonevella's Love the Ballad. Someday my heart will awake. So we've asked him to reprise it for us tonight. Meredith, if you please. Versions of that springtime urge. But here's a constructive one from the Reynolds Metals Company. Yes, Miss Bankhead, and we mean constructive, literally. Spring is the season when the homeowner feels the urge to build, repair, remodel. If you are putting in insulation, make it Reynolds Aluminum Reflective Insulation for a quick, efficient job at lowest cost. It's embossed aluminum foil on craft paper, and it reflects up to 95% of radiant heat. Throws off some heat in summer, turns winter heat back inside. So convenient. 250 square feet in 115-pound roll ready to staple or tack up. Ask your dealer about this. And about Reynolds' lifetime aluminum gutters. The big low-cost improvement for your home. Ask him to show you Reynolds' aluminum windows. The better finished windows encasement, awning, and double-hung types. Remember, your dollars are still worth 100 cents in aluminum. The only basic metal price no higher than before World War II. That's the result of an industry made competitive by Reynolds. The Reynolds Metals Company. One of America's great producers of aluminum. Well, last week two competitive newcomers appeared on the big show, Fred Allen and Groucho Marx. They were an instantaneous hit with their recollection of the good old days of show business. What's up, fellas? Well, it began with the two of us. Say, Groucho, tonight I brought along my Lordville scrapbook. Grab a gander at these theater programs. Oh, Keith Time, The Orpheum Psychic, The Pantime. Uh-huh. These ought to bring back some memories. They sure do, Fred. Oh, to be 70 again, huh? Groucho, here's the first... I was just wetting my finger while the music. I had to turn the music, I'll turn the... Oh, about wetting Zololo while she's all that. Oh, here's the... Here's the first page in my scrapbook, Groucho. This is a snap of me the day I arrived in New York. Looks like one of those posters you see every spring. Underneath it says, send this boy to camp. Say, how did you first come to New York, Groucho? I won a male beauty contest. You won a beauty contest? Yeah, I was the only male who showed up. Mr. America for 1910. You can imagine what shape the country was in back in 1910. Say, you look better than the country does today. Everybody says I have Gable's eyes, Gregory Peck's profile, James Mason's mouth, and Gary Cooper's ears. Why is it when you get me all together I look like Senator Toby? Well, Groucho, if you look better in pieces, why bother getting yourself together? Fred, be thankful I'm alive. If I ever die, you'll be the homeliest man on the world. Say, Groucho, here's a picture. Look at this. This is a theatrical boarding house I lived in on 38th Street, Mrs. Browns. I had a room that was so small it had removable doorknobs. If you wanted to bend over in your room, you could take off the doorknob just in case. I lived in the bathalty inn. My room was so small, if somebody opened the door, the doorknob got into bed with me. Fred, you haven't lived until you've had a doorknob sneak up on you on a cold morning. There, Mrs. Browns, when you took a bath, you had to keep singing. There was no lock on the bathroom door. Our joint had no bathtub. Saturday night, they left a bottle of seltzer and a sponge in the hall. The sponge was Mr. Browns. Say, here's a program. Look at this, Groucho. Oh, yes, that's very interesting. The first is... There's a little moth eating there. Yes, it is. Well, a moth was the man. No, it's probably something to get into your eye there. Your pupil is a little shabby. It was moth and fry, I think. Yes. They had some good material, too. The moth got at it. This is that this program, the first job I got as an actor, Groucho, the bar of theater in Nutley, New Jersey. Oh, yes. It was on a farm. The first week the company was there, the turkey died, the actors got turkey to eat every night. The next week a cow died, we had beef every night. Then the manager got sick, and I quit. My first job was with a show called Getting Gertie's Garter. Really? You remember that? Yes. I played in Getting Gertie's Garter for two years. I was determined but unsuccessful. Say, here's a notice. Look. Oh, yes, the Happy Hour Theater, Akron, Ohio. Did you ever play the Happy Hour, Groucho? Fred, the unhappiest hours of my life were spent in the Happy Hour. Say, here's a program. Remember this theater? Oh, the gym in Pocatello, Idaho. Uh-huh. Yes. If the audience didn't like your act, they threw potatoes at you. That's right. That's how Toffinetti got his start. He saved his potatoes and came east with a large bag. Who should be nameless at this time? I imagine that was Mrs. Toffinetti. She finally ran away with Mr. Brown. Oh, really? With the salsa? And the sponge, yes. Do you remember the quonset builtmore? That motel where the actor stopped in Pocatello? Oh, yes. No steps on the front. It was western style. Yes. Every room had a private well and an Indian sitting in the corner. An Indian sitting in the room? Yes. If it got cold during the night, you could get up and take the blanket off the Indian. I finally took the Indian off the blanket. The quonset? It turned out to be Mr. Brown. Oh, really? What happened to the salsa? He was hiding his sponge there. The quonset builtmore. Wasn't that the place where the dining room ceiling was so low? If you ordered frog's legs, they served the frog's legs squatting? No, no, that's true. That's true. How about that fresh oxtail soup? If you set a kind word to the soup, the oxtail would start wagging. If you wanted cream in your... The relative of Mr. Brown over there. Yes, the quonset builtmore. Stand up and show your sponge. Quonset builtmore. Where were we? At the quonset there. We're still in Pocatella. In the dining room. If you wanted cream in your coffee, a cow backed up to the table. I remember. After the first meal, I took my coffee black. That place was so cheap. Real cheap. Oh, cheap. They used to roughen the bottom... Nothing is joky. I keep saying real cheap. They're helping it up to now. You'll kill the end of it, you know? Let's go back to Pocatella. Let's go back to Mr. Brown. He was doing real well up earlier. Say he missed his sponge, you know? See, that place was so cheap. Wait a minute. After the meal, I took my coffee black. We'll try that again. This is another meal came up in the script. That place was so cheap. They used to roughen the bottom of the cups to make the actors think they had sugar in their coffee. I'll kill that for you, good. I remember the week I played in Pocatella, the circus was there. That was the week the Siamese twins came apart. How could the Siamese twins come apart? They tried to go through a revolving door. That was stretching the thing too far. I forget the details. Probably just as well, Groucho. The circus was all upset that week. The dog-faced boy married the fat lady. Really? Later they had a son who looked like a Greyhound bus. Old Pocatella. Yes. That's where I met the French soldier. He was joining a woman to forget the foreign legion. Say, here's a clipping. Did you ever play here? Oh, the Cactus Plaza, Las Vegas. Are you kidding? Las Vegas, that's the gambling center of the West. Yes, even the kids on the street will match your pennies. A little kid, a picture of an eagle. I said, Sonny, do you know what this is? The kid said, sure, it's tails. Las Vegas is some town in the... It's not a town for jokes. We did better in Pocatella. In the coffee shop. As a man keeps walking by here and waving. Coffee shop. Say, you can say what you want. I may have to. In Las Vegas. What about the coffee shop? I was just going to say, you can say what you want about gamblers in Las Vegas. They're really good-hearted. Yes. Whoa, whoa, whoa. In my room, the dial phone was a little roulette wheel. The operator would give me yards that I couldn't get a number. Well, I could sneak out of that joke. Yes, I was trying to sneak a little time. But I reiterate, gamblers are good-hearted. Yes, they sure are. When I was in Las Vegas, one of the gambling houses was running a benefit for a church. A benefit for a church and a gambling house? Yeah. How did it come out? The church lost $600. Say, remember this act topping the bill? J. Gaffney Smith and Diamond Dahl Fogarty? Oh, very well. Gosh, I can see J. Gaffney now with those big buck teeth. He always looked as though he was spitting out a mahjong, said. He used to hang his head so much his teeth were a hole in his vest. And Diamond Dahl, remember she was so thin? Oh, was she skinny? From the back, she looked like a closed umbrella. They were always fighting. She said he was too cheap to buy a toothbrush. After eating a meal, he'd whistle the cleanest teeth. Say, I remember one day J. Gaffney hit Diamond Dahl right across the face with his toupee. He had a zipper in his toupee. He used to pull it back a little to make a part. And Diamond Dahl was furious. She said, as low as you are, J. Gaffney, look down and you will find my opinion of you. That marriage couldn't last. I said that in bayon. That's what you said. What finally happened? I went back to bayon. No, she killed him. Really? One night between shows, J. Gaffney was sitting in the dressing room eating some cold cuts. Diamond Dahl pulled out a gun and shot him between the tongue and the liverwurst. That's a tough way to go, Groucho, before you finished your cold cuts. Well, as Nubol Mara said, we all have to go someday. Do you believe in reincarnation, Groucho? Do you really think that after an actor dies he can come back in some form? Of course he can. I can prove it. Last night I went into the stage delicatessen. A ham on the counter spoke to me. Really? A ham spoke? It was probably some act I worked with years ago. What did you do? What could I do? I ordered corned beef. I couldn't eat a brother performer. Thank you, darlings, for a memorable spot on our big show. We are particularly privileged tonight to have with us an old friend of the big show, Earl Wrightson, who is about to sing a thrilling new song, Freedom. This word, Freedom, is a treasured word, a sacred word, bought for us with the blood of patriots. A word that sounds in our ears and rings in our hearts with the voice of the Liberty Bell. But this same magic word is known to all the peoples of earth and is sung in every tongue. Meredith Wilson has taken this word as expressed in 35 mother tongues. 35 cries of freedom around the world. And he has blended them together in a poem of Freedom. Listen now to the glorious ballad tone voice of Earl Wrightson with the orchestra and chorus in the Freedom Song. That is a word that every man and every woman and every child should learn to speak in every tongue. Italian, Portuguese, Spanish. Libertad! Libertad! Libertad! Icelandic, German, Polish. Belsi! Hungarian, Russian, Scandinavian. Zabuczak! Waboda! Rehing! French, Armenian, Burmese. Liberté! Mazuridzion! Boklorje! Chinese, Malayan, Philippine. Xiyo! Albanian, Indonesian, Ethiopian. Maria! Komarika! Siamese, Gaelic, Welsh. Isaraka! Syrish! Russian! Finnish, Persian, English. Vakaus! Azadi! Freedom! Sanskrit, Hebrew, Turkish. Kurjet! Esperanto, Hawaiian, Korean. Libertad! Boklor! Jaiu! Japanese, Greek, Yugoslavian. Xiyo! Zabuczak! Having and thrilling, Earl Wrightson, and congratulations to you, Meredith, will all be eagerly awaiting the great RCA recording I know that song will make. And now, darlings, here's Bert Cullen with the closing message, at least for the big show season at the moment. From our really darling sponsor, the Reynolds Metals Company. Thank you, Miss Bankhead, and thank you, our listening audience. In these past months, we've spoken of many of the uses of aluminum. Now, we offer you free, fascinating booklet, the ABCs of aluminum. The story of aluminum itself, how it was discovered, what it is and what it does. Interesting reading for everybody, useful information for students and teachers. If you would like your free copy, just write aluminum on a postcard with your name and address, and address it to Reynolds Metals Company, Louisville One, Kentucky. That's the Reynolds Metals Company, Louisville One, Kentucky. This is not a story of the Reynolds Company, you know. It's the story of aluminum itself. You'll want to read it. Send for your free copy. And keep it to remind you of the Reynolds Metals Company, pioneers of progress through aluminum. Before we go to act two, just give me a moment to ring my chimes. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company. This is the Big Show, act two. And here again is Tallulah. Well, darlings, here we go with the second act of the Big Show. Our final show of the season. Oh, I'm getting sad about the minute. Relax, Tallulah. So what if it is the last show of the season? Take it easy. Oh, Fred, what do you know about it? Me? Well, I've been on more last shows than anybody in radio. There's nothing to get excited about a last show of the season, Tallulah. The world will go right on spinning around you instead of vice versa. So forget about the show and concentrate on having a good vacation. Well, where are you important going on your vacation? Well, I'd like to go to Paris where we went last summer and then visit all those other romantic places like Venice, Cannes, Barrett's. Well, where are you going on your vacation? Red Bank, New Jersey. Red Bank? Fred wants to go to Red Bank. Well, why not? The American dollar is as worth as much in Red Bank as it is anywhere in the United States. But, Fred, I'd rather go to Nice than Red Bank, New Jersey. Well, I've got a Nice in Red Bank, New Jersey. And that's where we're going, with Mr. Brown and the sponge and the sink. We're putting it all together. Yes, Fred. Oh, Mrs. Pitiful, now, Portland, I want to speak to you. A married woman doesn't say yes all the time. That's for single girls. But, Fred says... Who cares what Fred says? Now, just a minute, Miss Bankhead. I've been listening to this conversation and, Portie, I think it's a shame the way you let Fred run your life. But Fred always has decided what we do. Why should he? You're a woman, aren't you? We women have got to start asserting ourselves. Make the men realize what they've got and we're going to advertise it. That's right. Remember our new slogan, women are better than ever. An exhausted laboratory test proved that four out of five men prefer women. Fifth one is dead. The men come in several attractive shades. Blonde, ash blonde, platinum blonde, red, Titian, Orban, brunette, brownette. And that new exciting color, natural. So, get a woman. The fifth or two model comes completely equipped with all accessories. Order one now from your local dealer. And tell them Groucho sent you. Now look here, Portie. Let us put you straight. The important thing you've got to know is that you're boss. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the mystery voice. The three ladies on stage are indulging in little female superiority. I will attempt to translate. This, of course, will be a broad translation. Portland, the first thing you've got to know is that a woman wears the pants in the family. Translation. If she would switch from slacks to skirts, she would have a family to wear the pants in. Port, the marriage is a 50-50 proposition. Translation. The wife buys a dress for $50 and the husband buys a tie for $0.50. But Fred says a woman's place is in the home. A woman's place in the home. Indeed, women have taken their rightful place in the world. They're in everything. They're mixed up with politics. They're in the arts. They're mixed up with industry. What she's trying to say is that women are mixed up. One of our greatest Americans is a woman. Look at Mrs. Roosevelt. If Mrs. Roosevelt would stop moving around so much, we'd all be able to take a look at her. Fred, go away in the morning and leave you home all day. Oh, I'm all alone all day. When a woman says she is all alone all day, she is usually playing canasta with three other women who are also all alone all day. And the husband has to float alone to pay her losses. Now, Port, look here. You must take a stand. I was talking to a friend of mine, Mrs. Phillip, the sweetest girl you'd want to meet. What she went through with her husband, well, darling, life was just unbearable. He made her miserable to the day he died 25 years ago. I have a friend, too, a wonderful girl. She travels all over the world now with her maid and chauffeur. And do you know her husband made her life impossible until she discovered arsenic? What you mean? Because one of my dearest friends lives on a beautiful ranch out west. I think they call it Texas. Her husband was just awful. She had such trouble. He lingered on for three weeks after they were married. These three husbands they're talking about are not dead. They are hiding. However, if I may step out of character, I would like to defend womanhood. Not all wives are this callous. I know of a woman whose husband left her $100,000 insurance policy. And she is so bereaved, she would willingly give up half of it if she could get him back. We can't let this season go by without fulfilling a request. We keep getting over and over again. Particularly for me. It's a repeated little adventure I had some weeks ago. Well, I had to take a long trip on some very important business, upstate somewhere, 181st Street and Broadway. Well, I'd given my chauffeur the evening off and naturally he took the car. I didn't know what to do so I called the airport. But there was no flight to 181st Street. Well, you know to make matters worse it was raining cats and dogs and I couldn't get a taxi. What do you think? I discovered a brand new method of transportation. It's called, I believe, the subway. Oh, have you heard of it, darling? Oh, wonderful. Now, a friend of mine who knows all about such things pointed me towards some stairs leading down a dark hole in the ground. And I found myself at a ticket booth. So, I said to the man in tennis, I said, darling, I've got to go to 181st Street. I'd like a drawing room, please. What? No drawing rooms? Oh, very well. I'll take a bedroom. How dare you? Well, I'm not going to sit up for the entire trip. What do you mean stand up? A strap? Oh, very well. How much are they, darling? Three? Oh, how generous. Now, let me see now. How much is the ticket? Ten cents. Ten cents. Oh, darling, how reasonable. Oh, you take my check, of course. But whenever I make a trip I always pay by check. It's for income tax purposes. It's quite all right, darling. I'm to do the bankage. Oh, Mr. Bonaparte, how do you do? How do I get the train? Through that turnstile? Just drop a dime in the slot? But I haven't a dime. No, I never carry any cash. Oh, thank you, darling. It's off the counter. You're giving me this? No strange attacks? I'll just go away. Well, you're very sweet. Goodbye, darling. Well, I guess I wait for the train here. I light my cigarette. Oh, dear, I'm out of matches. Oh, fine, I'm out of matches. What sign? Oh, I see. Oh, here comes the train. Well, I think it's the train. Where's the engine? Darling, you! Oh, stop for me. Oh, thank you. Just a minute. Stop pushing me. Oh, not you, sir. I was talking to that woman. You go right ahead. Trying to seek by the window. Excuse me, pardon me. I beg your pardon. Excuse me. Why are you all standing here? Why don't you go to your seats? I beg your pardon, darling. Which way is the dining car? There isn't. Well, I never heard of such a... I beg your pardon, miss. Is my eye hurting your elbow? Who do I think I am? I'm Tallulah Bankhead. Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Bonaparte? He's gone upstairs. He's brilliant. Kind as the Swedish man, he gave me a dime. Yes, you see, this is my first trip on this train. Off it crowded, isn't it? And so stuffy. Yes, it is hot and stuffy and sticky. I think I'll just loosen my belt. There we are. Sorry, I'll talk to you. Oh, I beg your pardon. You can't hear from. Yes, it is my first trip. So what? What do you mean, where am I going? I'm going up to, well, just a minute. Just let me find that address. I have it in my pocketbook here. Oh, here we are. A $10 bill. I didn't think I had any money. What's that, madam? You'll have who arrested for pickpocketing? Oh, I'm terribly sorry, darling. It's so crowded. I'm going up to 181st Street in Broadway. I'm in where? In Brooklyn. Which way to the American Embassy? On the big show, 20th Century Fox has signed Ethel Merman and George Sanders for the picture version of Call Me Madam. Before they even make the picture, we're going to hear the duet with Ethel and George will sing in Call Me Madam. Why wait 20 years to hear it on television? Meredith, if you're ready, let's listen to Miss Merman and Mr. Sanders sing marrying for love, if you please. And isn't it utterly revolting that a movie producer would match a great voice like Sanders and Call Me Madam with a great voice like Merman when they could have had me? I'd rather do something about that combination. Oh, George! Watch me give the armchair the isn't as big. Oh, George Sanders. S.C.A. Oh, George, for your first musical picture, and this is going to be your first musical, don't you think you should have someone singing with you who isn't quite so overpowering? Oh, George. I think you should have someone who is a little more plastic, someone who is a little more delicate and more southern. I mean, more subtle. Someone who won't try to hug the whole picture, someone who's willing to back you up, who's willing to make a sacrifice if necessary. In short, someone who'll play ball with you. I will not co-star with Yogi Berra. So handsome, but what a sure meal. Maybe I can get this into your head. I'll come right to the point. You, out of the question. You couldn't possibly sing my part. No, I mean... Idiot, I mean Ethel Merman. Well, she couldn't sing my part either. Well, I could. I could sing that part with my mouth tied behind my back. Ah, you, Groucho. Yes, me, Groucho. Who are you? Huh? I'm Anna Mae Wong. And this is Freddie Bethalemew. Oh, television stars. Oh, television stars. Bethalemew, I like you, and I'm going to do something for you. Indeed. Pity. I'm going to get you into pictures. We've changed your name to George Sanders. Well, I'm already in pictures. Well, I can get you out of pictures. What's a tall, handsome man like you doing in pictures anyway? Guys like you that make it tough for guys like me. I've been in pictures. Did you ever see me till a little then? I never could. Would you care to step outside and say that? No. Well, go ahead. I'll take over. Well, darlings, this is a glamorous and unmentionable Groucho banker. Oh, George, you're not going to stand there and let him do this to me, are you? Haven't you been listening to what he's been saying this Groucho? My contract specifies that I'm only to perform on this show. There's nothing that says I must listen to it. Now, there's a man after my own heart and I'll throw in my appendix. I was going to have it out anyway. Groucho, you're a madman. That's what I was talking about. Call me madman. Well, Sanders, are you going to give up this ridiculous idea of fooling around with a picture with that from my man? Or better still, you fool around with a picture and I'll fool around with that from my man. Maybe she'll get me into the picture. I know all the songs from it. This I've got to hear. Let me hear you sing something from call me madame. Oh, George, you're sort of a critic. You be the judge. Go ahead, Groucho. Okay. Some enchanted evening you will meet a strangler. What do you think, Grouch? Ninety days. Besides, Groucho, that's from South Pacific. Anything can call me madame. Of course. Don't throw bouquets at me. Don't please my folks too much. That's in Oklahoma and why aren't you? I'll buy that. Now, from my final selection, they hit song from call me madame. I get no kick from John Payne. Lauren Bacall doesn't thrill me at all. And that goes for Johnny Ray too. But I get a kick out of you. Well, George, what do you say? And you thought that I was a schlamiel. Groucho, if that's a sample of your ability, how did you ever get into pictures? Just fate. I was sitting at a drug store sipping a soda when a scout discovered me. And that scout signed me up. The next thing I knew, I was a campfire girl. A campfire girl? I was wearing a sweater at the time. I'd still be with him if we hadn't gone swimming that summer. You were in over your head, huh? You didn't get it? Oh, well, press on. They got it. No. They didn't want it. They laughed at rehearsals. Thank you, musicians. And you are now with this idea to play in call me madame. It would be silly for you to be singing the romantic song from call me madame. That's a lure. I sing a love song very well. As a matter of fact, I have a love song here written by my friend, Harry Ruby. Would you like to sing it? I sure would. What's the name of it? Show me a rose. OK, let's hear it. I guess there's no stopping him. We have a request from Groucho Marx to hear Groucho Marx saying, show me a rose. Marry it on your mark, get set. Groucho, if you please. Ever since song writers started writing songs, they have written songs about a rose. Lovely rose. Red roses, blue roses, old roses, new roses. Roses from the south and east and west. But here's the rose song that I love the best. Show me a rose. I'll show you a girl who cares. Or leave me alone. Show me a rose. I'll show you a staggered babe. Show me a rose. Or leave me alone. She taught me how to do the tango. Down where the palm tree sway. I called her rose a mere. And she called a spade, a spade. Show me a rose. I'll show you a storm at sea. Show me a rose. Or leave me alone. Or leave me alone. One night in Omaha, Nebraska. We watched the clouds roll by. I said my dear, how are you? And she whispered, so am I. Show me a rose. I'll show you a girl named Sam. Show me a rose. Or leave me alone. Or leave me alone. I'll leave that you don't know me. As a matter of fact, that's one of the requirements, too, like a song like that. Well, we couldn't do our final show of the season without inviting Phil Foster to take a bow along with us. He has contributed greatly to our programs, and I hope he has a wonderful summer. What are your plans for the summer, Phil? Well, I'm going to play at the Riviera for a couple of weeks. The Riviera, darling. My favorite resort. There's nothing quite so luxurious as lying there with the cooling waters of the Mediterranean and those romantic nights on a star in the skies. What Mediterranean? I'm talking about Bill Miller's Riviera across the original Jersey. Romantic nights. Who needs them? But still, when a bachelor gets to be my age, he begins to worry about the future. He doesn't want to go through life alone. Well, I figure someday I need companionship. Someone to love. Someone to bring me my pipe and slippers. So last month, I took the big step. I bought a dog. I figured getting a dog has certain advantages over getting a wife. One thing, the license is cheaper. And the dog already has a fur coat. And believe me, a poodle cut still looks better on a dog than it does on a wife. So I figured if I was going to get a dog, I only want the best. A thoroughbred. So I went to a high class kennel club. I'll tell you, this kennel club was so exclusive, they got a sign outside saying no dogs allowed. That was the first time I was ever one of those places. I didn't know how to address the owner of the kennel club. So I said, kennela, you better buy a dog. He said, fine. What about pedigree? Breeding is very important. I said, what do I care who the dog's parents were? He said, I'm talking about your mother and father. And I was worried. There was a chance the dog may not even take me. I said, look, don't waste my time. I made this long trip up to Connecticut. Let's talk price. He said, our dogs cost $500 enough. What can I give you? I said, directions back to New York. I think $500 is too much for me to spend for a trained dog. Because this year I expected to do very little fox hunting on Flatbush Avenue. And in my neighborhood, Tally Ho was the name of a deck of cards. Well, I know nothing at all about dogs, but I had a friend whose dog was about to give birth. So I asked him, after the blessed event, could I have one of the kittens? What's the matter? It's wrong? Oh, puppies. Well, that shows you how little I know about dogs. Well, to show a little of the dog know about dogs, she had kittens. So it's pet shop. These places always have about 10 puppies in the window, and it's so pathetic. If you take one, it's friend price. If you don't take any, you're only the store price. So I said to the owner, I tell him, give me a dog. I don't want to spend too much money. So the owner said, if you want a big dog, I can give you a real buy. For $20, I can let you have a used Greyhound racing dog. He's only got 4,000 miles on him. I said, okay, I'll take him. The owner said, fine. You want to take him with you or do you want him to eat you here? So what am I going to do? I took the dog home and I said, I don't know what to do. So I figured I'll take him over to my mother's house and over there, he'll leaped with me. So now my mother makes some meals. No other dog even ever heard of. Dog biscuits with sour cream. Red hot strudel. But sometimes they don't get along. They argue over things like a bone. He wants to bury it and she wants to put it in a chicken soup. But you know how grandmothers love to brag about their grandchildren? My mother's no different. It's all the neighbors that have Philly's babies. The dog. Some grandmothers say her grandchild's only 10 months old and he's starting to walk. My mother says so. Philly's a little one. It's 10 weeks old. He jumps over fences. Nowadays the latest thing is to send your dog to school to be trained and educated. And the first thing you learn is that you've got to let the dog pick out his own name. So I tried it. I said, the rover? He went, rough. I said, Fido, you're rough. I said, Prince? He went, ugh. He picked out the name. You ready? Phil. You think this can't be embarrassing? My friends call up my mother and say, where's Phil? She says, I'll chase some cats. In these schools, they teach the dogs how to help their masses. Me being a bachelor, I have now what is known as a bachelor retriever. I throw out a stick. It comes back with a girl. Throw out a red stick. It comes back with a redhead. Throw out a yellow stick. It comes back with a blonde. Last week I want to mix them up a little bit. So I throw out a blue stick. It came back with a cop. Atalia, did you ever hear how some of these women talk to some of their dogs? Kills me. Hello, honey. Did you miss your mommy? Were you a good little boy when I was gone? Oh, you're such a nice little boy. Guess what I got for you? Come on, guess. Did you ever hear the same wives talk to their husbands? Harry? Listen to your master. Won't you park at me? Just for that, I'm not taking your muzzle off. Tell you the truth. I've been on a big show most of the winter long. The results of which, I'm putting in a song. I was single when I started and I'll be single at the end. Because to me, there ain't nothing more important than a girl to remain just like a friend. I got news for you. If a person of the opposite sex should chant the past by the candy store just at the time when me and a couple of chums are trying to figure out how them bumps could manage to drop the flag when we were sliding games ahead, who needs her? I got news for you. If a person of the opposite sex should smile and wrinkle up a cute little nose while me and the boys are in terrible shape from the struggle of trying to escape from the awful possibility of getting a job and having to go to work in the morning, who needs her? Who needs her? Them girls is all the same. Who needs her? Every Brooklyn dame wants to change her name. I got news for you. If a person of the opposite sex came up with the spell of the rose in the eyes of a pup and the hair of Kalu and the Dagmar built and the deep big games in the Merman war and she understood who needs her Who needs her? Me! Now before we go to Act 3 we'll be back in a moment just as soon as I ring my chime. This is NBC, The National Broadcasting Company. This is the big show, Act 3. This portion brought to you by Chesterfield. Ask your dealer for Chesterfield the only cigarette that names all its ingredients. The anison for passed relief from pain of headache, neuritis and neuralgia and by dentine, the gum with breath taking flavor and beeman's pepsin, the gum that's great to chew and good for your digestion too. And here again is Tallulah Bankhead. In a few moments darlings we are to share an exciting occasion on the big show. The presentation of this year's award of the New York Drama Critics Circle for the best American play produced on Broadway. It is John Van Druten's I Am a Camera for Isherwood's Berlin Stories and produced at the Empire Theatre by Gertrude Macy and Walter Stockey. First we are to hear a scene from this play then the distinguished New York critic and this year's president of the Critics Circle Mr. Gilbert Gabriel will make the award. But right now Ed Hurley he has a word to say. Yes, Mr. Bankhead, it's time to sound off for Chesterfield. The mask is off in cigarette advertising. Chesterfield is first to name all its ingredients because you should know what gives you the best possible smoke. Chesterfield uses the right combination of the world's best tobaccos pretested by laboratory instruments for the most desirable smoking qualities. And Chesterfields are kept tasty and fresh by pure costly moistening agents entirely safe for use in the mouth as proved by over 40 years of continuous use in tobacco products. And remember your Chesterfields are wrapped in cigarette paper of the highest purity the best money can buy. That's what Chesterfields are made of. The world's best tobaccos pure costly moistening agents the best cigarette paper money can buy. Nothing else. Only Chesterfield names its ingredients and they give you the best possible smoke. Much milder with an extraordinarily good taste and most important no unpleasant aftertaste. Ask your dealer for Chesterfields today. And now darlings the scene from this year's prize winning play John Van Druten's I am a Camera starring Miss Julie Harris and Mr. William Prince. The scene of boarding house in Berlin during the ominous days of 1930 the camera Chris Isherwood a young writer as portrayed by William Prince the girl Julie Harris as Sally Bowles. I am a camera with its shutter open quite passive. Someday all of this that I'm writing will have to be developed printed and fixed. I remember the first time I met Sally I wondered how old she was her face was young but her hands looked old and they were dirty too. I wrote Sally's hands were like the old hands of a dirty little girl after she'd been living in this boarding house a month or two we had a quarrel I didn't see her for two days I went into her room she had left her clothes all over the floor she had had only half of her breakfast coffee and some brandy too Oh hello Chris Hello Sally I haven't seen you for a day and a half I know I've missed you Chris I've missed you too Hey you don't look too well this morning Oh I've got a terrible hangover What were you doing last night? Well I was out with some people I'd been out both nights Chris I'd been an awful fool but don't scold me please we never stopped going around and then I got drunk and sentimental the first night and I telephoned mother in London What on earth for? I suddenly felt like it we had the most awful connection and then last night was worse we went to the most boring place Chris I need someone to stop me I really do I wish I'd stayed home with you Well thank you Sally But you're awfully nice to come back to Then you're nice to have come back I say that sounds like a popular song Oh it does Perhaps we could write it together and make a fortune You're awfully nice to come back to You're awfully nice to come back You're awfully nice to come back I do think we belong together and that little quarrel we had didn't mean anything did it? I don't think two people can live as close as we do and not have them But it was that that sent me out on that idiotic binge Did you read the article I left you? The what dear? My article the one you asked me to write for your friend Oh yes I looked at it Well? I'm terribly sorry Chris but it won't do What's wrong with it? It's not nearly snappy enough But it's all right Christopher I've got someone else to do it Kurt Rosenthal I called him this morning Who's he? Really Chris I thought you took an interest in the pictures He's Miles the best young scenario writer He earns pots of money Why is he doing this? It's a favor to me Well Journalism isn't really in my line But I do think you might have let me know I didn't think you'd want to be bothered And he would He doesn't make such a fuss about writing as you do He's writing a novel in his spare time He's so fearfully busy he can only dictate it while he's having his bath I bet that makes it wonderful Well he read me the first few chapters Honestly, I think it's the best novel I've ever read But that doesn't add up to very many, does it? He's the kind of author I really admire He's not a bitch stuck up either Not like one of these young men who just because they've written one book start talking about art imagining they're the most wonderful authors in the world Just who were you talking about, Sally? Well you do, Chris, you know you do And it's silly to get jealous Jealous? Who's jealous? You don't need to get upset either I'm not upset, you don't like my article You needn't go on about it I can't think why I expect you to do with that snappy little bird brain of yours All your rich, successful friends are there from whom you seem to have got all this stuff about me Would you like to know what my friends said about you? No, I wouldn't Well I'll tell you, they said you were ruining me that I've lost all my sparkle and my ever-vesting and it's all due to you It's all you want, you're like a vampire If you don't have people around you just sit about in bars waiting for someone to devour You know, Chris I'll tell you something I've outgrown you You what? I've gone beyond you I'd better move away from here All right, when? The sooner the better I should think That's fine with me, so this is the end for us Yes, if you want it that way Call me somewhere, sometime I expect Well, call me up sometime Ask me wrong for cocktail I never know whether you're serious or not Try it and find out if your friends will spare you the time You know, you make me sick Goodbye, Chris Beast, she is Nothing would please me better than to see her whipped I thought I'd care a curse what she thinks of my article It's her criticism of myself It's the awful flair women have for taking the stuffing out of men I mismanaged our talk right from the beginning I should have been wonderful convincing, mature I made the one fatal mistake I let her say I was jealous Well, I certainly won't see her again after all this, never, never Chris, the most awful things just happened Guess who I met in the street right outside I met mother Whose mother? I thought you said she was in London She was, but that call of mine upset her I suppose I did sound a bit drunk Anyway, she jumped to conclusions and into an aeroplane Oh, Chris You're going to have to do something for me I never told you but well, I've written to her now and then I mean they do send me money from time to time and well, I gave her to understand when I first moved in here that we were engaged Who was engaged? Sally, you didn't I needed someone who sounded like a good steady influence and you are the best I could think of She's in the sitting room I told her this place was all untidy but she'll be in in a minute And I'm supposed to stand by and pretend? Chris, you owe it You owe it to me For what? Letting me eat you up? I'm sorry and I'm going to my room If you don't, I'll tell her the most awful things about you I'm afraid I don't care you tell her what you like Chris, you can't do this to me I'm sick But that was just an expression No, Sally, we're through quite through We still can be after she goes home Please darling, please No matter what you now take for headache relief we urge you to try Anacin for the incredibly fast relief these tablets bring the next time you're suffering from a headache Now the reason Anacin is so wonderfully fast acting and effective is this Anacin is like a doctor's prescription that is Anacin contains not just one but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy to take tablet form Thousands of people have received envelopes containing Anacin tablets from their own dentist or physician and in this way discovered the incredibly fast relief Anacin brings from pains of headache, neuritis or neuralgia So the next time a headache strikes take Anacin for this wonderfully fast relief Anacin, A-N-A-C-I-N Anacin at any drug counter in handy boxes of 12 and 30 economical family size bottles of 50 and 100 And here darlings is the president of the New York drama critic circle Mr. Gilbert W. Gabriel to present the scroll awarding Mr. Don Van Druten the honor of having been chosen by majority vote of the New York critics the recipient of this year's prize for the best American play Thank you, Ms. Bankhead We are proud to make the official presentation of the critic circle award on the big show not only because you belong to the theater but because in carrying the background of the theater to this larger medium you have again triumphed so completely as to win our sincerest admiration Thank you For you, Mr. Van Druten because your play I am a camera so impressed the majority of those voting in this year's awards of the New York drama critic circle I am privileged to present to you this scroll citing your play as the best American play of the year Congratulations, sir Thank you, Mr. Gabriel and all our thanks to the other members of the New York drama critic circle whose valued opinions and support made it possible for us to receive this honor And Ms. Bankhead may I express a sincere thanks to you for making it possible that I receive this award here on your television show No, Don This is not television, this is radio Radio? You're still in radio Just a minute, Buster Van Buster For your information, Mr. Van I'm a Druten Radio is the mother of television And who is the father? The television, darling has no father Well, television or radio, Tallulah I came the moment I received your telegram Ah, John, you are so sweet, darling I do appreciate it. You've come all the way from California to be here with me tonight Tallulah, please don't degrade yourself by groveling before me I'll be only too happy to do it Groveling? You'll be happy to do what? Ladies and gentlemen I'm happy indeed to appear on this benefit for Ms. Bankhead Benefit? Who told you I needed a benefit? Well, it seemed rather obvious, my dear Nobody in the theatre has seen you in months Your name hasn't been on Broadway in a couple of years Your picture was removed from the wall at Sardis and your mail at the Theatre Guild is marked address unknown Ah, John, I haven't have been appearing on the big show the greatest show on earth Not the circus, Tallulah The sawdust I walk on is not on a circus floor Well, why not come back to the theatre, Tallulah where you belong? Well, now, darling I'm waiting for one of you divine authors to come up with a place suited to my talents You know, I once wrote a play with you in mind Really, John, darling? What was it? The Voice of the Turtle And no doubt you had me in mind for the turtle role I suppose that's a sample of the level of radio humor I prefer, of course, that we kept the conversation at the intellectual level of my place Very well, darling, may I help you down? Well, Tallulah, when I get back to the old crowd, I'll tell them I found you Naturally, I won't tell them where No, just tell them I'm playing piano and a burlesque house Oh, we'll be very secretive about it Julie Harris won't say a word Come here, Julie Yes, John Are you enjoying yourself here? Frightening, isn't it? But you won't tell anyone about Tallulah's being on this radio show, will you? Oh, no. I wouldn't even dare tell anyone I was on the show Julie, Tallulah Bankhead is a magic name in the theatre I've always held Miss Bankhead in great esteem That always precedes us to have in the back Go ahead, darling, you hold me in great esteem But... There are no buts. I've always been excited to see you in the theatre But... I told you no buts. As a young actress I've learned so much from your career Thank you very much, Julie, darling The most important thing I've learned is to save my money Julie, darling, they say that to become great an actress must suffer and one more crack like that and you're going to become the greatest actress in the American theatre And it might interest you to know, my dear girl that they wanted me to play an I Am A Camera But fortunately, we found Bill Prates I'm not talking about the part of... Oh, hello, Bill It's a pleasure to be here, Miss Bankhead Oh, well, I wonder, I overlooked you How old are you, darling? Twenty-eight Well, that's a little young But in a couple of years I'll get you on my way back By the way, here they're going to make a movie out of I Am A Camera Well, there's been some talk about it I hope Julie will consent to play the lead Isn't he naive? And don't you know who plays the lead in the motion picture versions of everybody's plays, darling? Is that...is that why they save pictures of Betty, then ever? You see, I can write these radio jokes Not on this programme, Busser Tallulah, is this where you're going to spend the rest of your career? Don't you have any ambition? Take Julie here, she's great ambitions, haven't you, Julie? My ambition is to become a great actress I've already been there, darling How about you, Bill Prates? My ambition is to become a great actor You want to be a great actor? Well, be at my apartment tonight I'll teach you to act up a storm And, Johnny, what's your ambition? My ambition is to get out of here alive You should have come in that way Tallulah, you must have some ambition some secret ambition What is it? Well, now, John, confidentially, darling Now, come here, listen My ambition is that when I reach the age of 95 the age of 95 I'll be shot by a jealous wife And I'll hear something else of interest to you for... for your breathless moments Chew dentine the gum with breath-taking flavor Dentine tastes so good Dentine freshens your breath Dentine helps keep your teeth sparkling clean and white Dentine, the gum with breath-taking flavor Before you go out and always after eating drinking, smoking refresh your breath with dentine You'll love dentine chewing gum For dentine has a wonderful tingling, nippy flavor that lingers on and on It's delicious And remember, dentine helps keep your teeth white, too Keep dentine handy You'll enjoy refreshing your breath when you chew dentine So, for breathless moments for your breathless moments Chew dentine the gum with breath-taking flavor Well, darlings, we come closer and closer to the end of our show and our season Tallulah, as you know this is my eighth appearance on this opus Yes, George And this is the moment for which I've waited so long I feel now I can say to you what I wanted to say the very first time I saw you Say it now, George What have you been wanting to say to me, dear? Goodbye Well, that's the story of my life Well, George, I'll try All my womanly wars have been of no avail However, I refuse to accept defeat And I have here for you a little going-away gift A framed portrait of someone who in spite of your coldness and loofness, you are really desperately in love with Here you are, my darling A mirror? Exactly Well, thank you, Tallulah but this is hardly a new affair Goodbye, darling Goodbye, George I hope the two of you will be very happy Well, so long, kid Kid? Ethel, you've been on this show for two years and that's the nicest thing you ever said to me I really like you, Tallulah and next season I hope you get a hit play on Broadway and don't have to come back to radio Bite your tongue when you say that I love my radio audience I'm going to boil it again Now what do you mean? I thought if I could get you into a hit play I could take over this show Well, so long, Tallulah Just practicing in case you get a play So long Well, Tallulah Yeah, Phil I want to thank you for being so nice to me and have me on the show all the time but just to show you how grateful I am if you're not married by next September I'll marry you If I'm not married Next year we can call this The Mr. and Mrs. Big Show Au revoir or as we say in Brooklyn Wait until next year I got news for you You're a doll Well, Fred in Portland We come to the parting of the ways The show's almost over Goodbye, Tallulah Have a wonderful summer Say, Tallulah, before I leave Let me go over the instructions once more You must remember this You cannot send anybody You have to go yourself You walk up one flight of stairs You'll see a lot of windows with letters over them But you stand in line under the letter B Now that's right next to where I'll be standing Under the letter A Tell them what your last job was You fill out a paper and they give you $24 a week Fred, thank you, darling Don't thank me, it's not my money Only indirectly, so long, Tallulah Well, now, I must remind My chauffeur, Sylvester, to take me there The first thing Monday morning on my way to Tiffany's Well, Tallulah Groucho pet Well, if that's as far as you want to go Oh Groucho, why don't you stop? How can I stop before I start? Oh Groucho, enough time foolery Yes, enough time foolery How about a little Groucho foolery? That's neck Or chin Or shoulder Or any spare part you've got left Groucho, for two years now You've come on this show and pat me And pest me and pursued me And I've always held out Tallulah, I'd kill myself I bet you would You bet I would I mean wouldn't Say it again, I bet you wouldn't I'd kill myself I bet you wouldn't All right Groucho, I'm yours, I'm yours That was Groucho Marx And you bet your life Oh, Miss Bankhead Well, sir, Miss Bankhead Well, that's the last time I'll have to hear that this season Well, what I wanted to say is that We of the musical organization of The Big Show Have a little musical gift For you to remember us by, right, Chorus? That's right, Meredith Oh, isn't that sweet? Wherever you are this summer We'll always think of you as Mother to call you My darling For many and many Thank you, my darlings To the Big Show Orchestra and Chorus And now There are a few other thanks Thank yous, I'd like to pass out now To the people who get the show on the road every week First, a deep bow to our sponsors I'll be back in the fall So save up some more money, darlings To Meredith Wilson, whose genius Has provided our show with the most exciting And senator-led music and radio But who has not let his love for music Stand in the way of playing for me while I sing To the authors, Goodman Ace, Selma Diamond Dean, George Foster, Frank Wilson Good luck to you, darlings And, of course, to our producer-directed The Ingleback, who, as if he hadn't Had enough of me up till now Will be preparing all summer to guide me Through that new medium, which I will enter In the fall of Tallulah Vision And I'm throwing away my script And D is going to faint in the control room But D, darling, if I'm known as the Missus of Ceremonies, I want to know That our producer D Ingleback is our master And I'm guiding like, thank you D All the things you've done for all of us on the big show And to all the other wonderful people who helped Put on the show, and last but certainly At least to you, our wonderful Audience out there Until I see you again in the fall, darlings May the good Lord bless And keep you Whether near or far away Ethel May you find that long-awaited Golden day Today, groucho May your troubles All be small ones And your fortune Ten times ten Ready? May the good Lord bless And keep you Till we meet Again, Portland Sunlight shining And a blue bird in the air Earl May there be a silver lining Back of every cloud You see May your dreams Were sweet tomorrow Never mind what might Have been Julie May the good Lord bless And keep you Till we meet Again Bill We call each rainbow Then you'll soon forget The range you're The form and tender memories May the ones that we remain Fill your dreams with sweet Never mind what might Have been May the good Lord bless and keep you Until we meet Again, and Godspeed To our armed forces everywhere Good night, darling. It comes all its ingredients. Sound off for Chesterfield, the cigarette that's much milder, with an extraordinarily good taste, and most important, no unpleasant aftertaste. By Anderson, for fast relief from pain of headache, neuritis, and uralgia. Denteen, the gum with breathtaking flavor, and beamons, pepsin, the gum that's great to chew and good for your digestion too. The first half hour of the big show is presented by the makers of Reynolds Aluminum, the Reynolds Metals Company, who also bring you the Kate Smith evening hour of your work. This is Ed Hurley, he's saying good night. The music of Phil Harris and Alice Faye, next on NBC.