 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve! Yeah! These company makers of Parquet Margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore, with music by Claude Sweep. Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. Well, the season for picnics has rolled around again, and you will certainly want to include in your lunch basket a variety of sandwiches spread with delicious Parquet Margarine. Parquet Margarine spreads so smoothly, adds such appetizing flavor to sandwiches, it's sure to please your whole family. It's sure to please guests at your picnic, too, because Parquet Margarine is a favorite spread of millions, known far and wide for its truly fine, fresh flavor. Parquet Margarine is also a splendid energy food, you know, and every single pound provides 9,000 units of important vitamin A. So add Parquet's nourishing goodness to your picnic sandwiches, just as you add it to meals at home for a real satisfying flavor treat. When you buy Margarine, be sure to ask for Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, the delicious spread millions prefer to any other brand. Parquet Margarine made by Kraft. Now let's look in on the Great Gilder Sleeve's household. It's breakfast time, and while Margarine Leroy are at the table, Uncle Throckmorton has not yet put in an appearance. Leroy, stop dumping sugar in your cocoa. Who said so? I said so, it's disgusting. Well, I have to put in quite a lot together the way I like it. But he won't let me put honey in it anymore. Well, I should hope not. Pig. Leroy, I think maybe you'd better call your uncle, he'll be late to the office. Oh, he's up, he's been up a long time. How do you know? I heard him fall down in the bathtub. Maybe he heard himself. No, I heard him say some things after. Oh, I think I hear him coming now. He'll claim he's in a hurry, Bertie, you better bring him the works. You don't have to tell me. Well, well, good morning, children. Good morning, Anki. Hi. Fine, Bertie. Hey, I'm late. Yes, you are. You look very sweet, though. I love that necktie. No, Marjorie, I didn't even have time to shave. Really? I never would have noticed. Oh, um, Anki, there's something I wanted to ask you. I thought so. Shut up. I wanted to ask you last night, but I was asleep when you came in. Oh, what is it, my dear? Would it be okay for me to work at Hogan Brothers after school and on Saturdays? What's this? Hogan Brothers need a sales girl in their sub-deb shop. Can I do it? Well, I... Here you have, Mr. Gillsleeve, orange juice, scrambled eggs, toast and coffee. Thank you, Bertie. I'll have to eat and run this morning. Francie had the job three weeks, but she quit. She said it was easy. Then why didn't she quit? Would you kindly mind your own business, brother dear? What is this sub-deb shop, Marjorie? What do they sell? Clothes, of course. I know just as much about clothes as any girl around. Certainly no more than Francie. Her mother won't even let her pick out her own clothes. Can I have the job, Uncle? I'm sorry, my dear. I don't think it would be right. But why? I have a number of very good reasons. Pass the salt, please, Lyra. Here. Let me tell you something, my dear. Your uncle occupies a position of some distinction in this town. That's what the Hogan's want to take advantage of. But I haven't even asked Hogan's for the job. Don't do it. They'll grab you faster than they grabbed Francie. They like the idea of the water commissioner's niece punching a time clock and saying, yes, madam, to heaven knows who. Oh, unki, just from 3.30 to 5.30 every afternoon and 9.00 to 5.00 on Saturday, that's nothing at all. It's not the hours I'm objecting to, my dear. It's the whole idea of the job. But it would be such good experience. And $22 a week, please, unki. No, Marjorie. I'm trying to bring you up as a girl who will make someone a nice wife. Be a good mother to some nice children. But, Uncle Mort, don't you want me to have any career at all? I do not. A woman's place is at home, married or single. But that's so old-fashioned. Why, even married women work these days. Lots of wives work. Well, if I had one, she wouldn't. Except a little around the house, maybe. Do you think that's all a husband wants? A housekeeper? I know that no normal man wants a wife who spends the day in an office or a store. Well, I think you're mean. I'm trying to earn a little money so I won't be a burden to you and I can have a few clothes. The discussion is closed, my dear. Well, I still think you're mean. No, marginally. Better get going, Leroy. It's ten minutes of nine. Gosh! What would I be doing with your arithmetic book, Leroy? I don't know. You sell? Thank you, Mr. Guilsey. Yes, Bertie, I'm late. Oh, coffee's cold now. You got time for a fresh cup? No, I gotta get going. I got it right here. Well, there's no use going to the office if I can't function after I get there. Half a cup, Bertie. Yes, sir. A little more than that. Yes, sir. Bertie, what do you think Marjorie's got into her head now? I don't know, Mr. Guilsey. Wants to get a job. Doesn't want to do housework when she grows up. Is that a fact? She doesn't understand what fun it's going to be some day to make a home for some nice young man. Take care of his clothes, cook his meals, keep his house looking neat and nice. She doesn't realize what a pleasure that can be for a woman. No, sir. I guess she don't. There's something else she doesn't realize, Bertie. She doesn't realize how hard men's work is. She doesn't know the strain it is to be responsible for an organization to have to plan, make decisions. She just isn't growing up, Bertie. No, sir. She's just a child. Well, gotta get down to the office. Yeah, another day at that desk. See if you can find some meat for supper tonight, Bertie. I'll be home at 5.30 and I'll be hungry. Yes, sir. Goodbye, Bertie. Goodbye, Mr. Guilsey. I sure would like to be a water commissioner just long enough to get a little rest. And for you? Yes, my alarm clock isn't what it used to be. My wife ain't either, but she still wakes me up. You shave? Oh, no, I haven't got time, Floyd. Is this very noticeable? I'll say you better come in and look in the glass. Hmm, looks worse than I thought. My niece told me it looked all right, but she was trying to get something out of me. Well, once over lightly. And make it snappy. Your niece giving you the old Milwaukee, huh? What you want, money? Not exactly. She wanted me to let her take a job at Hogan Brothers. Wish I had a kid that could bring in a little dough, could close up Saturday afternoons. I'm afraid we have different standards on this question, Floyd. I disapprove of my niece working. I believe woman's place is the home. Oh, well, I'm with you there, commissioner. My wife goes out when I take her. But now, kid, that's something different. I don't think so. I want her to get married. That's all. Sure, I understand that. That'll be somebody else's headache. My niece is not a headache. I simply want to bring her up to be a good wife and a good mother. We ain't arguing, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. We're 100% eye to eye. But there's another angle. Where's the girl gonna meet her husband these days? I'm not worrying about that either, Floyd. I had a cousin, a girl, my father's brother's family. And this girl, well, she wasn't exactly homely. The figure was okay. She was pretty good if you walked up behind her. But brother, she had a nose out on a word come from. Nothing like it in our family. I came in for a shade, Floyd. Oh, sure. Well, this girl used to sit around the house waiting for her husband. And her mother gave parties for her, and her old man practically told her to get married in so many words. And I'll hand it to her. She tried. But the fellas would take one look at that beaser and then run for home. Just lay down, commissioner. Let me loosen your collar. I think it's snappy. Will you please, Floyd? Well, this kid finally took a job in a drug store. And what do you think? Inside of three weeks she married a soda jerker. Well, that's fine. Great. Look, Floyd, I'm late on it. Well, she was lucky to meet this guy. He's the only man in the world with a nose bigger than hers. Well, I'm sure they're very happy. You ought to see their kids. They look like baby elephants. Now, I don't say your niece has any problem like my cousin. There's no problem, Floyd. She wants to work for fun. Fun? Is she crazy? No. Floyd, I've got to get to the office. Oh, now, commissioner, don't make any difference when you get there. You know that. Let me out of the chair, please. Now, commissioner, just relax. I'll have you shaved in five minutes. Well, I'll relax on one condition. Don't talk anymore. Just shave me. Okay. I could take a hint. Customer don't want conversation. All they got to do is say so. Gotta please all kinds. Some like talk, some don't. We're finally arriving at his office. Good afternoon. If you have business to discuss with me, judge, kindly step inside. You know darn well I have business to discuss with you. I've been waiting for you nearly an hour. Well, my secretary is supposed to remind me of these things. I reminded you last night. That Bessie, I'm gonna have to let her go. Yes, sir, I'm gonna... Where is Bessie? Well, if the boss never gets in until 10, you can't expect the help to do any better. What was it you wished to see me about? It has to do with the change in the city's contract with the liability insurance people. They seem to feel... I think I hear Bessie sneaking in. By George, I'm gonna have to let her go. Bessie! Good morning, Mr. Gilda Sleep. Good morning, Judge Hooker. Morning, Bessie. Bessie, is this the hour at which you're supposed to arrive at the office? No, sir. Have you any explanation? An hour later than your employer? You're supposed to open the office, Bessie. Well, I didn't think you'd mind just this once. I had something quite important I had to do this morning. Oh, you did. Had it anything to do with the affairs of the water department by any chance? No, sir. I was meeting a train. A relative, no doubt. No, sir. Just a friend. Well, perhaps you'd like to spend the rest of the day with your friend, would you? Yes, sir, I would. Perhaps you'd like to spend the rest of the week with your friend. Yes, sir, I would. Perhaps you'd like to resign from the water department. Yes, sir, I would. Goodbye, Mr. Gilda Sleep. Bessie! Bessie, wait! Bess! Well, I've been meaning to do it for years. She's the worst secretary ever born. What do you do next? Hire another girl. Take a couple of weeks to break her in, but anybody will be better than Bessie. Where are you going to find another girl? Summerfield Employment Agency. Good reliable firm. And by George, I'll get a good-looking one this time. After all, she has to meet the public, doesn't she? Yeah. Horace, why don't I have him send over a half a dozen girls and you and I spend a couple hours interviewing him? Is that a bad way to spend an afternoon? No, it isn't, Gilda. Yeah, you're darn right it isn't. But I think you're going to find it a little difficult to arrange. Nothing to it. Just call the employment people. I called them myself last week. They're out of business. Out of business? Why? Well, the first place that couldn't find anyone that needed a job and in the second place, that couldn't find anyone to answer the phone. Oh! Firstly, we'll be with us again in just a few seconds. And now, here's something that's always with us. That problem of preparing good, tasty meals. You homemakers face that problem three times a day. And that's all the more reason you'll welcome Parquet Margarine, a delicious spread that can add fine flavor to every single meal you serve. Parquet's flavor is fresh, delicate, satisfying. That's why Parquet is one of America's favorite spreads for bread, toast and rolls, and a flavor some seeds. Parquet's flavor is fresh, delicate, satisfying. That's why Parquet is one of America's favorite spreads for toast and rolls, and a flavor some seasoning for hot cooked vegetables, too. Parquet also adds wonderful nourishment to meals because it's so high in food energy value. And because every single pound provides 9,000 units of important vitamin A. So treat your family to delicious nourishing Parquet at every meal. Buy the delicious spread that millions prefer to any other brand. P-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet Margarine, made by Kraft. Remember, millions prefer Parquet to any other brand. Well, things are in a fine mess with Gilder Sleeve. Seems he was a little hasty in firing his secretary. I didn't fire, I let her go. Anyway, now he's squarely up against the woman power shortage with all the monthly bills to get out. After a bad day of struggling with him alone, he comes home early and slumps down his chair to read the evening paper. Might just glance through the one-ads. How can I read my paper? Leeroy, what are you doing up there? Why arithmetic? Well, stop it! I mean, can't you do it more quietly? Okay! How can a man concentrate with that going on? Help wanted. Help wanted. Plenty of help wanted, but no help. New York, too? Cincinnati, nothing. I just finished telling you, come down here. What's that? Come on down! Okay! I'd like to know what kind of arithmetic that is, a solo meal. Did you have to shake the house down? Oh, me? Let it go, let it go, Leeroy. Where's Marjorie? Across the street at the Bullards. She spends entirely too much time at the Bullards. Been over there all afternoon practically. I have enough stairs to do my homework. So I've heard. Where's Marjorie now? Aunt wants to talk to you all afternoon. You know where I was, you were over there. Who was the idea of spending all your time over there? No, Leeroy, my dear, nothing at all. Have you had a pleasant afternoon? Wonderful. You know what? Marshall's going to teach me to play tennis this summer. Oh, triple goodie. That's fine, my dear. But I've been thinking... He gave me my first lesson today. He says he thinks I have the makings of a good player. How would he know? It just happens that Marshall is a very fine tennis player. It happens he was on the tennis team at school, the last one he went to. Ha! Well, he was. Don't cause me to laugh. Leeroy, if you'll be not asking too much, I'd like a few words with your sister. Sure, go ahead. Thank you very much. Uncle Washington, talk to you, Marge. I... I've been thinking, my dear, about what we were saying this morning. About your going to work this summer. Oh, that's all right, Uncle Morty. It was just an idea. I don't care now, really. I'm sorry I made such a fuss. Yeah, but you don't understand. I was going to ask you how you'd like to act as your uncle's secretary. Your secretary? Yes, temporarily, anyway. I, uh, lost mine today. Uncle Morty, I thought you were against women having jobs. Well, this is different. This wouldn't be for paying. What? All right, I'll even pay you a little something. Why should I? No one said anything about her not going to school. My boy, she can work for me in the afternoons till school is over, and then she can work full-time this summer. Might even be able to use you, too. Afternoons, I mean. What would I have to do? Sharpened pencils, empty waste baskets, stamp envelopes, whatever an office boy does. How much would you pay me? As much as I think you're worth. Is that all? Second thought, I'm afraid I better not try to do it, Uncle Morty. I'm afraid Marshall might not like it. Marshall might not like it? What does he got to say about it? Well, he offered to teach me tennis. Now, if I have to tell him I'm not going to do it just so I can take a job, just so I can make a little money. You tell him you're going to do it because your uncle said so. That's why. And you, Leroy. I was thinking of taking a polo, Uncle. Yep. You'll be down there right after school tomorrow, both of you, at 3.30 sharp. I'm not in church today. I'm a busy man today, PV. My time is not my own. I'd like a bite of lunch. Hmm, been great for lunch, isn't it? 3.15? We don't usually serve lunch here after 2 o'clock. What difference does it make? All you serve is sandwiches, anyway. What have you got there? Well, let me see. Seems to have the tongue on rye. Is that the same tongue on rye that was lying there yesterday? Not necessarily. Well, that's good enough, I guess. Care for a little mustard on it? No extra chard. Well, that's good enough for him. I haven't got time. No, you are in a hurry, aren't you? Terrible day, PV. 10 to the month. I've got to get out all the bills, and I'm shorthanded. How did you turn it? It's the one I thought had been around for days. No, no, I wouldn't say that. Something to drink? No, thanks. I'll be lucky if I get this down. Well, got to do it, maybe. Well, something I can take with me. What are those things there? See, they're called nubs. That doesn't answer my question. What are they? I haven't seen you and me, they're Fig Newton. They come forward with a package of cellophane wrap, so for five cents. They're put up by a reliable concern. Give me one of those. They're trifles smaller than the standard Newton, you see. Make a nice mouthful. All right, all right. Give it to me. By the way, you just missed your niece. Marjorie? Yeah, she was just in here with that bullet boy. What is she doing in here? I told her she was to go straight to the office the minute school was out. They had a soda and battleship someday. That's the younger generation for you. Hanging around drug stores when they should be accomplishing something. Now, you take Marjorie, Pee-Pee. I offered her a nice little opportunity today. That's all? Yeah, working for me. Sort of a secretarial position. You're going to hire Marjorie as your secretary? Well, there's a war on you know. Anything wrong with that? Nothing, that's the only thing. Well, what is wrong with that? Nothing. I just always thought it was a mistake to have relatives working for you, that's all. Marjorie is not a relative. She's my niece. I know, but even so, I had a younger brother, Mrs. Pee-Pee, who was a sort of assistant here one summer after some time ago. So what happened? By the end of the summer, Mrs. Pee-Pee and I were only speaking to each other for a third party. Serves you right for being pool enough to hire him. That's all I can try to say. How'd you ever get rid of him? Well, fortunately, he sent to house on fire and she threw him out. Everything was all right again then. But my advice to you, Mr. Godus, to you with advice is what you want. Well, it isn't. I want my check. Yeah. See you in under 15, 10, 10, 21. Can't be a hurry, aren't you? I told you I was in a hurry when I came in here. Got to get back to the office. I put a sign on the door out to lunch. That won't look so good at a quarter to four. Hey, no attention to him, Marshal. Where's Uncle Morris? Out, I guess. There's a sign on the door. Uh, take a lot of him, Miss Forrester. Dear Mr. Picklepuss. Get out of there, Leroy. That's got to be my desk. Okay, I'll take Uncle's office. You better not let him catch you. Sit down somewhere, Marshal. That's okay. I'll just sit on the desk here. Isn't he awful? No, he's a good kid. A pest, but a good kid. He's a pest all right. Let him ring. No kidding, Marge. Are you really going to work here? I wouldn't be surprised. Every afternoon? I suppose so. All summer? What if I do? But we'll never see each other. After school, I mean. Oh, if your mind's made up, I guess there's nothing more to be said. Hey, Marshal, wait a minute. Well? Does it mean so much to you if I work here or not? Well, I just happen to think that a woman's place is in the home. That's all. But that's so old-fashioned. You sound just like Uncle Mord. Well, maybe I am old-fashioned. But I don't like the idea of any girl that I'm... Well, that I'm the friend of... Well, I don't like the idea, that's all. Surely a woman is entitled to a life of her own. Sure. Go ahead. I hope you enjoy it. Marshal, wait! Where are you going? Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm terribly sorry. Oh, hello, Marshal. My fault. I didn't see you. Oh, no, it was mine. Excuse me. Well, I guess I'll be going then, Marshal. Oh, don't, not yet. Yeah, I guess I better. See you around. Marshal! Let them go, my dear. This sort of thing should not be going on here in the office anyway. Not during working hours. But I haven't started working yet. I've got to speak to Uncle Mord. Now, now. You stay right where you are. We have a few rules in this office, young lady. One of them is keeping strict hours. I fired one secretary for that yesterday. Oh, I'm not your secretary yet. Let's have that clearly understood at the start. Just because you're my niece don't mean that I'm going to show you any favoritism. You're going to work here. You're going to have to abide strictly by the rules at all times. And I'm not going to work here. I never wanted to work here in the first place. That was your idea. I'll thank you to remember that I'm your uncle and you'll do what you're told. You may be my uncle at home, but at the office you're just a dictator. Oh! No wonder you can't keep a secretary! Can't keep a secretary? You're fired! You too! What did I do? You're fired! You've got to get help. I never said I'd let Bessie go. It may have been no bargain, but at least she never sassed me. Much. Yes, sir, Bessie was all right. A lot better than some. I wish I could get her back. She hasn't got a phone, that's the trouble. Well, I suppose I could go over there. Hate to go crawling to her, though. Well, I won't. I'll just bring her a bouquet of flowers. That's me, Bessie, Mr. Gillersleeve. Mind if I come in? Oh, no, no, I guess not. Thank you. Well, these are charming surroundings you have here. I've never had the pleasure of visiting them before. You mean you're not mad anymore? Oh, I never was mad, Bessie. No, I just lost my head there for a minute, I'm afraid. War nerves, I guess. You shouldn't have taken it seriously. Oh! Brought you these flowers. Just a little token that we're still friends, eh? Gee, flowers. I don't know what to say, but thanks. I'll put them in water later. Yes, Bessie, I've come to tell you that you can have your job back. Well... To ask you to take it back, in fact. Oh, well, that's awful nice, Mr. Gillersleeve, but I don't know if I could now. Why not? Well, um, you see, there's this friend of mine I told you about, Stanley Wuzanski. He's a sergeant, and he's been after me to marry him all this time, and today I sort of promised him sort of. Oh, Stanley Wuzanski. Well, that's fine. Go ahead and marry him. What's wrong with that? You wouldn't get sore? Sore? Why should I? If you love him, marry him with my blessing, and take the day off. Oh, gee, Mr. Gillersleeve. I don't know how to know what to say. Take the weekend off. Have a honeymoon. And Monday morning, your job will still be waiting for you. Just a minute, what? Half. Who's he? Ain't you gonna introduce me to your fat friend, Bessie? Oh, well, this is Stanley, Mr. Gillersleeve. How do you do, sergeant? So you're Mr. Gillersleeve. I heard about you. And I heard how you treated Bessie. Oh, well, that was all a misunderstanding. It's all been straightened out, hasn't it, Bessie? Yes, indeed. She's going right ahead with the wedding. And after that, she's gonna get her job back. Yes, sir. Oh, no, she ain't. No wife of mine is gonna work, see? All right. With me, a woman's place is in the home, see? You needn't push. And I don't want you hanging around neither. Now get out. Who are you? You heard me. I heard you. And take your fummy roses. I guess you didn't hear me. Listen. Well, what's he doing hanging around here? Listen to me now. What's he doing hanging around here? Well, maybe all is not lost. Good night, everybody. Good night, everybody. In Pimento, Pabstaff, in the red package, be sure to ask for Pabstaff, the delicious cheddar cheese food of a hundred uses. This is the national...