 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan Astley of Jonathan Astley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic 89% of men breadcrumb and they don't Even know about it. They're they're clueless. They don't know Really quickly if my content here resonates with you Please check please click the subscribe button hit the bell so you can be notified of new content I shoot about three or four videos per week. Okay, 89 per what's it 89%? What is it 89% of men? Bread crumb and they don't even know that they're doing it Okay, so what is bread crumbing? I know most of you know what bread crumbing is but for those who don't bread came bread crumbing is the concept of Where someone just gives you a little bit of crumbs throughout the relationship to? Basically satisfy, you know, they're bare minimum of needs Without really fully engaging in the relationship. That's what bread crumbing is Okay, that's kind of the cliff note version of bread crumbing But there's a reason why this happens that I want to dig in deeper because it's actually a misconception From the male point of view. That's right bread crumbing is a miss is miss Misdiagnosed by you women by you women. I'm sorry that sounded accusatory. I want to apologize. It's misdiagnosed by many women Okay, and that's why we're gonna lean lean into this conversation Many of you know, I'm big on leaning in mostly I'm big on leaning into your sovereignty leaning into your self-worth Your self-confidence self-esteem. It's one of the reasons why I wrote my book What the heck is self-love anyway by Jonathan Asley. You can check out the links below Actually in my description. I have links to all kinds of stuff recommended books and such So here's what happens with bread crumbing In fact, I I've had this conversation so many times with so many women Let's just say a man's capacity to give in relationship is here at a two three or four His but by the way his capacity given a relationship is a two three or four and your capacity is a seven eight nine or ten Now this is based on your perception in other words your perception of giving in a relationship is seven eight nine or ten Now in a man's war and to you a man that's where there's a there's a big disparity It's because he's only giving two three or four, okay But here's the thing about men men who are giving two three or four think they're giving ten They think they're giving ten to the relationship Because men are rather clueless to the investment what the investment takes to progress a relationship forward to that progress that relationship to a deeper level of commitment because Commitment for most men in midlife and those who follow me know I'm specializing in midlife Don't know what commitment looks like because commitment to a 20 and 30 year old is mostly centered around making you know raising a family Supporting and raising a family. That's where most 20 and 30 year olds view commitment But commitment for a 40 50 and 60 year old doesn't have the same blueprint as it did in our childhood Or when we were younger so most men are clueless. This is why ladies you've got to educate the man on that difference that's spread Now the where this spread comes from and you if you haven't read the book mating in captivity by Esther Perrell You've got to read this book. Do yourself a favor Google Esther Perrell. Watch her video She is so brilliant at explaining why there's such a disparity in relationships today For both men and women alike and she talks about something called stable ambiguity Stable ambiguity, which is doing the bare minimum in relationship to keep the relationship going That's what bread crumbing is is doing the bare minimum But I know you want something deeper. I know you want something more You want something deeper you want something more you you're watching this video You're watching my videos because you want to progress past this this this Unconscious way of dating because the reason why it's 89% of men because really only about 11 I'll do that again about 11% 10 or 11% of men are actually very Conscious and deliberate in the dating practice There's another 40% that are on their way to getting conscious and the other 50% that are completely unconscious and their head is in The sand, okay, their head is in the sand Okay, this is why I'm a big proponent that you are in charge of your relationship destiny stop giving the job to a man Men are terrible at it. Why are there so many books written on on emotionally unavailable men? And so many books about you know, is he too good to leave or is he too bad to stay kind of thing? Why are there so many books written about commitment phobic men? There's a reason for it This is why you are the leaders of the relate your relationship destiny not the guy stop giving the guy the job I know you all love it, but Jonathan I want a man who's chivalrous and takes the lead and he's confident. He knows what he's doing Yeah, you're searching for that rare 10% and that half those guys are gone quickly And the other half are very selective and they're not choosing you because you're not at his level I know that sounds like a judgment, but sometimes a lot of you ladies overreach on what you're capable of attracting in So this is why I want you to do the work of self-love because it's not about giving your power to a way to another human being It's about retaining your sovereignty. That's why I wrote my book now if you're not familiar with the book eight dates You have to purchase this I talk about this over and over and over again check out the link to Jonathan recommends books This gives you the mechanics of a healthy happy relationship And if you're gonna allow that penis into the vagina Then you better start Progressing the relationship if he's not progressing the relationship Well, by the way, I realized I didn't curse in my last couple videos, so I'll say fuck again or not again, but I've been so good lately But eight dates you have I mean you don't have to do anything I'm just inviting you to explore this and by the way, one of you ladies said Jonathan stop giving me so many books My library is overflowing. Yes Knowledge is something so valuable in this process of choosing a mate And that's what I want to encourage you do is fill your cup up your love cup up of Self-love and knowledge so you can make better choices because when you're crystal clear on what you want You feel more confident and you can make better choices Listen to that again clarity breeds confidence and confidence breeds better choices And there's another book. I want to share with you today. I love this book by Gary Zuckoff He wrote the seed of the soul, but this book is called spiritual partnership a journey to an authentic To your two authentic power This is a great book for yourself, and this is a great book to prepare you for a wonderful relationship So you don't have to experience bread crumbing So do you see the difference? You're here a man's here But when you understand how men operate and you understand how you operate maybe you guys can come at this level Okay, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic shot the bear of self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love That's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And we can use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now