 okay well thank you for coming we're gonna another wonderful afternoon we put on the flyer 1 to 330 although Peter says we have the house for the afternoon and we just have maybe a dinner and a flight we have to get to the Dallas Fort Worth airport but yeah so there's no real specific end time here so if it gets to be 330 or even before you have to go you can choose the old smile away saying we'll keep on going and then we'll just wrap up when we wrap up and I'm sure this will be a very deep intimate time together and Stephanie was just sharing with us she was there yesterday too and she spent a lot of love coming and she was just saying I wish you could just take you home and ask you lots and lots of questions here we go no more we're just getting ready to start so yeah that's something that we like to do in fact it's one question is every words question then that's just a very good use of time so you've got us forward we're here so pull up a chair nice and close then we can get the microphone Stephanie just share I actually started noticing something yesterday that when you were answering the question about that somebody asked a question well all this questions start happening in my head and then somebody said started talking about near-death experience I was just thinking that question and then hope was next to me and she asked about Jesus being alive and that I was just thinking that and so something start happening to me it's like somebody reading my mind my reading somebody else's mind or we just all connected and we all have the same questions like my mind just started like racing like and so all this question started coming up like you mentioned something yesterday about like choosing to be sick well I have this symptoms that come up from time to time and actually I'm in a lot of pain today but if somebody sees me they will never guess I'm in a lot of pain because I will just put a smile on and just go on with my life that's just how I am and and yesterday when I saw my son come into the kitchen I just started crying because I was like I just don't want to leave my son I don't go to the doctor because I'm afraid of doctors I'm afraid to hear you have cancer I'm afraid I'm gonna die I'm afraid I have all this fear just constantly coming up around death and I don't know how I'm choosing to be sick I don't know why I'm choosing to be sick my life just feels so empty you met my husband she you know he's a wonderful man and when I met you we were going through and have two adorable kids not a perfect job and by my life was so empty last night when I was asking myself like why am I doing this to myself why am I in so much pain and as I was falling asleep I saw the face of this little boy and I just heard because you're not following your passion and I woke up and I was like what like did I just make that up did I did that really happen it might just am I going crazy like all this like I just don't know I'm lost I really feel lost I guess just emotional everything is coming up right now because I hope I have a different head friend and she's spiritual path and I feel like she stopped talking to me because I want to leave my husband I'm just not ready I just I don't have any friends I don't I don't know what much I'm just lost in my heart I feel like only one God that's good let's just start from that because yeah here's the prayer of the heart before we even speak a word we don't even have to say work it's interesting right before I came to this gathering right before I got the car Peter I was guided to send you a audio recording and I was awakened at 2 2 30 in the morning and I was a friend of mine who was speaking on the audio tape she texted me oh I did an ECI interview and five or ten minutes later I found it online not even searching for it it just kind of appeared in my newsfeed and I hope this is the interview on ACI Gather and it was right there and then I listened to it for about 52 minutes interesting she talked about her spiritual journey she's not of course a miracle student she just talked about her spiritual awakening journey how conflictual it's been because she's kind of got like people believe they've got a life going on the world the circumstances in the world and then there's this huge pull she called we actually talked on the Skype today from South Africa and I sent you that video just because it was guided to do it but it's interesting that she was married her first husband died of cancer and then she got married again and she had two boys children and it was with these young children when she started to have these very deep profound experiences of this huge call started happening and you know her greatest fears were she was here children she would just go I'm not ready like I want God I want spirit I want I know there's more and I want what you know she didn't use the years over God I know there's more and I want that but there was many many fears that came up and then she actually started getting very strong problems to take a trip to Peru from South Africa and then had powerful experiences there powerful experiences in Hawaii she started to go as interdirectors and had all these experiences and would also wait for her children for quite a bit of a time so that she would have to wait for this tiny little window but they would be up just to talk to her two young children and she described things in great detail but she also reached a point where even her children started to reflect what was going on in her heart like her little boy David saying to her mommy you have to follow your heart if as she would have the flexible thoughts it was starting even reflecting back through the children and so I feel like that that will be very very helpful because it's all we have playing at Earth is the context of what seems to be our life on earth which seems to start with birth and end with death but this is a tiny band of time I remember reading that Helen Shekman one time was taken on this adventure it's like like Jesus took her almost like Superman taking Lois Lane and they went flying together and they were flying along and as they were flying Helen looked over and happened to notice just happened to glance and notice the entire lifetime of Helen Shekman as they were flying by she barely had time to notice that hey you know and and it was such a tiny blood it was almost like what we consider a long lifetime of all the things we go through and a human lifetime from birth to death and it's this tiniest little blip that she almost missed it she almost missed the entire life of Helen Shekman they were flying by so fast and that's a very different perspective you know from the ego's perspective the life life of the body the he says the serial adventures of the hero of the dream he calls Jesus is poking fun at the body at personhood and he's poking fun in one of his subsections he's calling it the hero of the dream the serial adventures of the hero of the dream serial adventures of the body and you know just that's a whole different context he says the world you seem to live in is not home to you he goes on at one point to say the real world is nothing like the world you live in there are no shops and stores where you go to buy things that you don't even need and don't even want and spend time doing endless things starts to poke fun at jobs doing endless thing meaningless things so that you could get more money to go to more shops to buy more things that you don't even need or want you know it's almost like he's saying everything you believe in everything involved in your life on earth is a parody you know if you if you want to make the angels laugh you don't need any Murphy or a stand-up comedian the human condition what humans do every day says the angels into a laugh-a-thon they just roar at the things that humans do because because they're so misguided but because they also have the awareness off it's cute they don't know any better forgive them for they know not what they do that everything we consider important in this world and I think that's those will be the biggest struggles of the spiritual journey is when you start to get this strong calling it's almost like there's some kind of a spiritual light or tractor beam to use a start right now see that we're supposed to get on the spot like remember the thing that track teleporter just we're supposed to be teleported we're supposed to get beamed back to heaven and yet we run around avoiding the teleporter you know so cool so step inside the chamber stand still and it's beam me up Scotty you know it's that's the thing but we avoid the teleporter because of the belief in sacrifice so the way it is set up is that this world is a projection it really has no substance it's like a mirage like if you were in the desert and you were walking along and thirsty and hot and you had a mirage of an oasis it would be like wish fulfillment that's what this world is just like nighttime dreams we were talking about those yesterday they're really no different than our daytime experiences or our fantasies or our daydreams they're all they're all dreams and Freud didn't have a lot of things right but one of the things Freud got right we're giving credit part-signal we're getting through you in here a lot wrong but we'll give you one thing you said dreams are wish fulfillment and dreams are wish fulfillment the experiences we experience during our daily life during our nighttime dreams nighttime nightmares terrors fantasies even our juicy fantasies all daydreams they're all dreams they're all the fabric of dreams sweet dreams are made of these who am I to disagree travel the world in the seven seas everybody's looking for something it's wish fulfillment everything we experience from your children to your husband to this unity church in arlington to all the people in the church to the trees the plantas the stars the cars I see driving by the fishies in the deep blue sea joy to unity everything we experience is dreams and then you get this call inside that's like saying come home come home this world is that you seem to live it is not your home come home it's calling us to a state of mind and it's just like in the Wizard of Oz you know we're Dorothy has home sickness for Kansas she really wants to be with all the loved ones she wants to go back and she wants to get and get out of this strange dream where there's a witch with green face a long nose and a big sounding voice and flying monkeys that come down and snatch you and take you up into the air to the witch and all kinds of things in this this land called us that she doesn't understand sounds a bit like Alice down looking glass everything is distorted Louis Carroll's Alice Munderland down the rabbit hole for everything's distorted so when you become accustomed to the distorted world when you become accustomed to those seconds and minutes and hours and days and weeks and months when you become accustomed to those familiar faces of family of children of friends of neighbors whatever when you become accustomed and you think that your feet are firmly planted on a solid base called earth through what we're told is gravity holding us so we don't all go floating floating off when you become so accustomed to these things when you expect them when you wake up in the morning you don't wonder if you're gonna flow away you expect you're gonna step out of that bed and step onto some solid ground this isn't like an LSD esoteric you know this is the stability of what we think is the world you have to realize that that you believe that you're living in a reality called time of space on earth that you are twice removed from reality that you first forgotten that you're dreaming and you have forgotten also that you're the dreamer of the dream and you take the world that's presented to you through the five senses as being reality and you act and react upon the sights and sounds and smells and taste and touches that you have through those five senses I remember when I was talking to Jesus because I had a really good connection with Jesus and I would I would ask him like what about the five senses you know is there is there anything that the five senses can show me that they have any relation is there anything that are have any semblance of likeness to eternity and he said no these are images these are this is idolatry you are you are smack dead in the middle of idolatry remember from the Bible hold no graven images before the Lord thy God in Bible school I was thinking okay I'm not gonna make any totem poles you definitely won't see me making any golden totem poles in my life I was named after David in the Bible King David in the Bible you're not gonna see me making any golden totem poles because that's the Old Testament and you know that commandments and no great images well the whole cosmos that's the graven images everything that we perceive through the five senses are the graven images and the teaching was hold no graven images before the Lord's I God so hmm that's kind of interesting I do remember reading in the beyond our idol section of A Course in Miracles where there's one sense that really got me God knows not form hmm hold no graven images before the Lord thy God God does not form okay starting to get a little clearer idea here from the songs of David the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want what a way to start a song the Lord of my shelling because we seem to be in the realm of wanting we seem to be in the realm of desires I call it distraction though it's my synonym for the cosmos distraction though we seem to have so many wants and then we have a beautiful blazing light like Jesus it comes along and says let thy I be single hmm single that sounds a lot different from multiplicity single he doesn't say let that I be multiple he says let that I be single he's talking about unified perception we are being called to forgive we're being called into wholeness we're being called into completion we're being called into a gaping unconditional love we're being called into being in living demonstration of the living God whole of complete holy pure we're being called into let that I be single to let our desires become unified I wondered I said hmm I like to use courses in Oracle said to Jesus can you give me an example from the course of let that I be single is there a passage in the course I opened it up the peace of God is my one goal the aim of all my living here the end I seek my purpose and my function and my life while I abide where I'm not at home that's a let I be single passage anything else any other goodies let that I might be single can you make it a little clearer well he said I told you about the lilies in the field a couple thousand years ago in those red words in the Bible but he said here's one for you once you have accepted his plan as the one function that you would fulfill there will be nothing else the Holy Spirit will not arrange for you without your effort he will go before you making straight your path and leading in your way no stones to trip on and no obstacles to bar your way nothing you need will be denied not one seeming difficulty but will melt away before you reach it you need take thought for nothing except the only purpose that you would fulfill let time I be single in a world of multiplicity a world of multiple desires can't be that the truth is that so that if we have a unified prayer a unified desire that we will wake up to eternity that's exactly what we're called to and what you're bringing up and the fears and the tears and the emotions are when the call comes when the call starts to arise then there's something in us that is afraid there's something in us that rears its head it's like whoa there's something in us it's this is going to cost something very dear remember all those passages in the Bible about king and able and all the stories we read about the hill testament it's like sacrificing a child and you know pretty help help me interpret this stuff again it seems pretty intense basically everything that was made in form all time and space was a substitute reality and even the new age teachings that said you can create your own reality meaning you can manifest any kind of world that you want is still part of the egos plan still using the power of the mind to manifest anything you want of course that seems to be the best way it goes but but who says you know what you want remember the song by boss gags you can't get what you want till you know what you want isn't that profound you can't get what you want you know what you want so if you don't know what you want and you got a powerful mind you're just going to draw for a conflicting circumstances conflicting wishes a conflicting world and then the ego is going to say well this conflicted world is better than nothing are you going to let go of this conflicted world for the big question mark for the big unknown oh maybe heartbreaking this world but at least is familiar you may have pain and suffering and misery but at least it's a familiar pain familiar suffering familiar misery you see how the ego is going to have you clutch on to the world that it made because it's saying don't go back to God you don't know what you're going to get you've forgotten God anyway so how do you know that if you remember God that God's not going to be mad at you the ego says you did pull your mind away from God you don't think it's going to be scot-free oh welcome you back no penalty no problem come on oh wait a minute that's the prodigal son story Jesus told us story actually said yes that was the answer to the ego to say oh yes the father will come running down the road will throw the rogue around you will have a feast in your honor even if you squandered your inheritance you believe you have even if you're out feeding the pigs and you don't even have enough food to eat even the pigs have the food but you don't have enough to eat you can still turn back to God and God will come rushing to meet you no matter what you seem to do wrong it will have no impact whatsoever on God's love for you interesting that Jesus told that parable over and over and over it must have been important for Jesus to keep repeating himself on that particular parable that's probably one of the most famous parable from the Bible is parable the prodigal son so what I feel is happening is is there's an activation happening and there's there is a call that's coming and there's a part of your mind that actually knows that it is an authentic calling site and then there's also a part that goes my my world is empty without you babe you know we know when we're feeling feelings of emptiness like what's the point you know it's like that Beatles song it's just another day you know it's that repetitive day where we're going through the day and we're thinking there's got to be more than this I don't know what it is I have a hunch that there's much more than meets the eye that there's a destiny that my soul has a destiny and that that destiny will be fulfilled through joy I will have I would have more and more ascending steps of joy and more intense joy as I go towards this ultimate joy the world is not escaped through fear no one goes to happen through death no one goes to happen through guilt or shame or pain and let's talk a little bit about pain because you brought that up I was saying that sickness is a wrong minded decision and that much of the wrong mind is unconscious so for human beings they don't really get that that sickness and pain is a choice it seems like there's a lot of factors that the world would say right when the medical model will rush to diagnose something it will look in the brain scans it will look all through your body it will look at your environment are you really by the love canal are you what's happening around you to make you sick because it's all an external looking uh the whole medical model is is like among all the professions that's just one of the others that are looking external like most sciences are as well so basically you're coming to a point of seeing well I have an opening here to answer a call and in order to answer that call I have to be willing to receive the instructions and receive the answers that will be given from that call because that's what it means to answer the call it's not like we we get just a big present of the shiny bubble on it we just have to open up the package we give it we're given instructions little hunches little nudges go here go there call somebody you know every day there's those little nudges and we're aware of them there's there's some nudges in there but also we can be heavily descended against these nudges because of one reason the beliefs in sacrifice oftentimes people get into studying the course and they are happy to find their book that's telling them that God asks no sacrifice that sacrifices an idea of a concept that is unknown to God they're happy to read that but they're also quick to point at the Catholics and they're quick to point at the Baptists and they're quick to point at many denominations of Christianity those poor people they still believe in the blood of the Lamb they still believe that God demanded the sacrifice of his beloved child and Jesus had to pay the sacrificial blood of the Lamb cost the ransom ransom is over they use those poor fundamentalists those poor Baptists those poor poor Catholics wait a minute it's all one mind if I'm still seeing people outside that believe in sacrifice guess who believes in sacrifice oh boy that's something to face I love it when I go to new communities new thought church oh it's all love it's all good it's all oneness and everything and it's just but once we talk about sickness suffering pain I don't know I know where that comes from God is love it's all love I don't know Jesus was basically telling us sickness comes from guilt and if we believe in sacrifice if we have still buried guilt then we do not know an experience of unconditional God they love we're still facing the whole theology remember that carry the old rugged cross and sin the wages of sin is death sin oh my god I'm in a unity church and I use that word sin wolves are shaking that's not new that's not a new thought idea sin well Jesus talks a lot about sin actually and of course the miracles it's an error to be corrected but it's still the same old era of sacrifice when this world was made up it was made up as a defense mechanism against love they tell me and I've been told for years love makes the world go round it's actually guilt that spins this world guilt is behind gravity guilt is behind black holes and stardust and everything this is a world made by guilt Jesus even goes so far to say is the world was made in hatred oh come on now that's a little bit too harsh maybe we come on Jesus we can you can come up with a better word than hatred the world was made in hatred the body was made in hatred you can have come on give us something else well what's they say in the workbook the world was made as an attack upon God a place where God can enter not okay got it got it so if I'm going to wake up to the kingdom of heaven if you know that form if you're guiding me to let go and forgive illusions and to come back to the truth and accept the truth then then I must really need to be free of all attack thoughts and all judgments and all grievances in my mind that fits with everything you've taught that fits perfectly with the sermon on the mount judge not let's you be judge that fits absolutely perfect with everything that Jesus ever taught in the Bible Jesus is basically saying I'm calling you out of the world our kingdom our home is not of this world God is an eternal creator and God creates with eternal creations and everything a perception is avail drawn over the truth and when we come to answer the call the biggest obstacle we're going to have to face is the belief in sacrifice I even when I watched political conventions for the years I always like to just listen to the content of talks at the political convention and I love the little hero they get out they go we need to clean the rivers we need to save planet earth we need to wipe away these crimes and all of this nuclear threat we need to do all this why because of the future for our children in the future we can sacrifice right now for our future children I'm just listening to the word sacrifice it's like falling sounds good good good whoops you lost me at the sacrifice sounds like that go fashion religion no nails on the cross blood sacrificial lamb I hear that sacrifice word come out well I'm gonna exercise I'm yeah wait but I'm gonna go to the gym and no pain no game no pain no game I'm gonna have to sweat I don't want to go to the gym but I have to sweat and I have to sacrifice I'd rather be home eating chocolate with hot chocolate and smoothie chocolate on top of it but I have to go to the gym and and pedal and pump iron and work out got a sacrifice losing weight is described as a sacrifice you see it's pervasive the belief is you gotta give up something valuable to get something valuable and the teaching for the course miracles is you don't have to give up a thing to be who you are you were created perfect and you're still perfect and you're forever be perfect you can make a case and say you're not perfect but the higher court of the holy spirit will throw the case out we'll not even hear the case but you say do you know my life have you been watching this case dismissed gavel comes down innocent eternally innocent that's the kind of God we've got and so the call is coming in and and the strain is just coming in of answering a call now why would we have strength and resistance and answering the holy spirit's call that's an interesting thing is this is the call for eternal life if this is the call to joy this is the call to happiness if this is the call that tells you God's will for you is perfect happiness why would we resist well in twelve step terms we're addicted to the stinking thinking there if you talk to people who are in twelve step programs they'll say I first had to get in touch with my addiction to misery it's interesting when I listen to people on twelve steps that it has alcoholic addictions drug addictions sex addictions all kinds of struggles they'll tell you I couldn't even begin the healing process until I admitted that I had a problem and admitted that there was some kind of a strange weird addiction to misery that was making me take that next drink so it was making me take that next joint or that next hips there's some strange twisted addiction to misery has to be faced and everyone has to face that addiction to misery how can we hope to be healed from pain and suffering in the mind if we're still holding it close and protecting it if we still feel we like that misery there's something safe about misery how could we ever heal from misery for protecting the misery so when that call comes in to the answer that call we really have to be honest with ourselves of where am I in my mind where am I in my heart resisting the call I have to get in touch with that there's an actual terror as listening to the voice for God seven billion people and if you talk to most of them some of them believe in God some of them are atheists some of them are agnostic some of them believe in pink pyramids you know it's my gosh you believe in all kinds of things and and when you talk about listening to the voice for God there's not a lot of people that say they have conversations with Jesus there are some that say they are Jesus they are the second coming of Jesus usually they're locked up in psychiatric institutions and they're shut full of drugs because judges doctors don't like to hear that stuff you go to your doctor you say I am the second coming of Christ you know I have a psychiatrist I can refer you to you know nobody takes that seriously I did get recent Facebook message of somebody who worked with the courts for some years and then went over the top and said I am the second coming of Christ and got worse from there the message got worse when we are being called to accept that forgiveness to go into that innocence to accept ourselves as the living Christ and to let go of the mask of persona that covers over that light and that's what it's going to entail now let's look a little bit at the fear the fear of answering the call because it doesn't necessarily seem logic if this is a call back to eternal love then it doesn't seem logical to say no to it or to fight it but the ego is terrified of that call there is no ego in eternal so basically ego is terrified of the call because it's out of business and remember the ego itself is just to believe so the ego is more concerned about the mind that believes in it because the ego is like a parasite the ego is like a parasite draining the mind of its creativity of its joy its happiness when you feel fatigued you feel the egos fatigue when you're tired you feel the egos sense of tiredness spirit is entire spirit's eternally loving joyful and vibrant so when you even consider answering that call the ego is going to go from suspicious to vicious it's going to throw everything including the kitchens sink to say think twice before you make that move why because the ego is threatened if you start listening and following those guidances the ego feels like its days are numbered and that's true if you start following the voice of the Holy Spirit the ego's days are not only numbered they are severely numbered they are shortened by an amazing amount of time that's what the miracles do they collapse time they bring the alpha and the omega back together they show you that i am the alpha and the omega the beginning and the end the really love has to start or stop it's just eternal so the ego will resist the call and then when the ego if you side with the ego and you say hold on there because i went through this in the parable of david i started to get my call when i was in graduate school at university i had a scholarship i had professors i was in a so-called elite program where they only accepted very few people from around the united states and maybe there was like eight of us had hundreds and hundreds of applicants so i was tied into a scenario that was graduate school elite program professors of course my parents were very happy doing very well oh an elite program very good scholarship good for us we don't like to be paying those tuition fees a lot of kudos a lot of praise that's what i was dealing with and then in the middle of graduate school i started to get my call and jesus is like i'm calling you out of the world i have a purpose for your life it doesn't involve school you got to remember i was probably in my ninth year of school and moving on to my tenth year of university but jesus is like there's there are more important things than studying and projects and doing papers there's actually the salvation of the world at hand here i need a little help you'll do fine well part of my mind was going can you pick another time you can you just wait till i get my degree maybe the children it's always waited till the children are grown i'll do fine when they're 18 i'll do fine when i've graduated you know you notice how you get into bargaining mode it's almost like you're saying that jesus i know better than you who to serve and when to serve so i'm going to give you some education jesus i'll tell you how things work on planet earth you wait till the children are 18 that's sort of a few more years i want to spend some time moleculeing them to let's say 21 i got a full with 18 i want to hang on hang on get some specialness out of there for another three years and then maybe way in the future i'll serve you and i think you probably remember the bible you know there's the story of the rich man does everyone remember the story of the rich man in the the gospels the rich man came to jesus and said lord i have kept all the commandments i commandments i have honored my father and mother i have followed all your commandments and now i would come and serve you he says face to face to jesus this is in the in the new testament and jesus says go sell all that you have and follow me and the man bowed his head didn't answer jesus just turned and solemnly walked away all jesus said was one thing sell all that you have and follow me and the rich man turned and did not answer jesus jesus already knew jesus knew everything before it happened so he was never surprised the holy spirit put those words in his mouth because spirit knows our heart before we even speak a word and he knew that man was not ready he still had too much faith in riches he still had too many treasures on earth and jesus had already spoken you know don't store your treasures up on earth where dust and moth can rot store your treasures up in heaven he was telling people forgive all of my teachings and forgiveness there was one time a man came to jesus and said i would follow you lord but so what was the but i will follow you lord but my father just died in the next town and i have to go and bury my father and jesus said let the dead bury the dead that was eternal life speaking eternal life is right here for you right now and you're talking about other towns there are no other towns you're talking about fathers who is my father mother sister brother but he that does the will of our father in heaven is our father mother sister brother you don't see jesus those red words don't really talk about merry much you never see him in the middle of one of his talks about the king of heaven i say unto you i am the way to truth mom mom what are you doing here i'm sorry i know i should have said i know i should have told you all right i'm sorry mama this is important i'm talking to who's speaking for that yes i'll bring him a loaf of bread yeah all right i'll bring him some wine oh even gosh what was that i'm the way i am the life and life is a model he didn't turn into a monkey python life of bryan skid that presence those red words were never interrupted with the black except when the apostles would go i don't know what you're talking about lord can you give me another another example black with black letters i am the father of one red letters back to the red letters red letters eternity speaking eternity speaking we're being called to the greatest calling the greatest thing that could ever come to us and there is a section back in the manual for teachers that says what is the real meaning of sacrifice and jesus says in that section you have been called by god you have been called by god to the most holy function there is will you sacrifice the call he's taking that sacrifice word now he's talking about the giving up of what you want you've got the world everything the ego stands for and you've got the call back to eternity when that call comes to you will you sacrifice that call will you say to jesus not quite ready yet not good timing jesus is if somehow you know better than the lord of life about the timings so that basically that file that i sent you was my friend speaking it's basically a woman who's just called by spirit and called and called again and called again and she has to face um she's very successful she's had a corporate job she's had a husband who who died of cancer she had another husband she's got two young children and she gets called and that's the file that i sent you right before i came over here to hear her to hear what she faced to hear what went on in her mind and also to hear her experiences that came when when she would even slightly said yes and go follow what that call was telling her to do she would have these vast experiences of oneness you know that's what we need to convince us that we're that we're on the right path we have a pathway of guilt and fear and shame and we have a pathway of joy and miracles and love it's a pathway that calls us to a very deep intimacy and a deep connection and then there's this other pathway that that says you know you you better just settle for the status quo you don't really know if there's anything more than the status quo the status quo is what you can touch it's like reminds me of an early early steve martin movie called the jerk where he's walking through this room and he goes and i don't need anything i don't i don't need anything at all except and he as he starts to walk through this room he says except and he could i don't need anything at all by the time he gets through this room he has so many things he's burdened down as he's saying it words he doesn't need anything and his hands are revving or anything he can get his hands on because it's the wife it's such a funny scene because it's it's comedy of the contrast of what we say and what we mean and i love how jesus says that in the workbook he says to say the words i want the peace of god is nothing but to mean them everything that's what we mean by following your heart that's what we mean by you have to mean it and also legally come back and go well i don't know how this is going to go of course it doesn't it's it is death it's a death wish why would you turn to a death wish for advice on how this is going to go would you rather take an adventure moment by moment with the lord of life and follow that adventure of miracles instead of defending against it there will be times where emotions will come up but there will always be an answer there will be times where you are called to speak and they may even be some familiar settings and surroundings but the one who will be in you that will be witnessing for you and going before you will not be trapped in those familiar settings i remember after i started following call and i was shy i didn't like to travel i didn't like to talk i didn't like public appearances um i was a wallflower and in the parable of day but then when i started traveling and and doing these talks i started going around the united states and canada like peace program around and around and then and then uh more and more travels and then one time i was in my little peace house in since then in the 1990s and my sister said oh you have a speaking invitation and i looked at the paper and i said there it was the church that david had been raised in david's traditional christian church i was like oh that's interesting she said yeah you have an invitation it was called xia remember in uh in the matrix when the war is over the party begins in zion and from the matrix but this was before the matrix came out and all i knew of zion was that was the name of my parents church or the church that i had been confirmed in zion united church of christ still with those teachings of sacrifice and sacrificial land and all this so so unenough to me that uh they had changed many ministers and pastors that i had decided left to talk about the course of miracles and travel around the world that there was a new minister there who had a very long i think i think he was in a near-death experience that lasted like nine or twelve hours where he was taken through all these experiences and taken into the light and came back after this long near-death experience where his intestines were being eaten away by acid he was flown across from france to the united states and he he was an atheist art professor and after this huge near-death experience he came out the other end and entered the seminary to immediately study the seminary and he wrote a book on his whole experience and he started going around to mde conferences all around speaking his wife was shocked when she first saw him after he came to she thought it was a walk-in 2000 uh what did you do with my husband kind of a mean arrogant son of a bitch and then after this long near-death experience and all this time in the light was like a little child an atheist professor entered the seminary wrote the book went spoke at the conferences went on Oprah Winfrey for god's sake Oprah Winfrey he waited a new direction this guy was now the minister of my parents church i said oh that a reflection in my mind or what that's nothing like when i left you see how everything's a reflection we can't assume anything about that we may think one of our closest friends is the most close-minded person ever and then we meet him years later and they're all loving god is unconditional love we see a little you've changed no they haven't we've changed our mind has changed everything is a reflection of our consciousness everything is a reflection of our of our mind there is nobody out there that's that has an independent life of their own that's going through an independent journey there's nothing apart from us everything we perceive is a reflection of what we believe if you spot it you've got it if you perceive it you believe it that's just the way the law of as you so so show you reap you could call it karma you can call it anything you want from any tradition all that idea is given to myself giving and receiving are the same it's all mirroring it's all one mind and so that's what we have to remember because i did accept that invitation and i went there and there was this minister and he said i have to go visit this other minister who has cancer i leave my flock to you the old church the minister just walked out and left me alone at the flock what did i talk about sin is real death isn't real god didn't create the world i'm not going to change my talk the minister left the Oprah Winfrey minister left he was just there to get me in the door and then as i'm there and i'm giving this talk my the biological mother from my earth mother showed up she was there in the audience my biological sister my earth's sister was there my biological father was there it was the biological father that had invited had gone to the minister who was teaching a class in mysticism had a traditional christian church of course he'd gone through the you know ndes and everything he was teaching a class in mysticism and my biological father had gone to the class looked at all the books and those they were studying the lives of the saints in in this christian the christian saints you know in in this mysticism class and he was talking and they were reading the sanctuaries of that a lot and saint francis mother Teresa you know the saints saint john lecross and then and then and then my biological fathers says can i invite my son to come to this class the guy said sure it's open class anybody can come and then the biological father said to the minister well actually he's one of them the minister said well what one of them that we're studying about the minister this is the Oprah Winfrey minister what we're talking about the saints because yeah he's one of them and so the minister said well that's where the invitation came from instigated by the biological father to come to the church after i've gone through the old transformation and so it was almost starting to head towards one of these biblical things like who do you say that i am so i go back to the old church minister writes me in goes off to visit this other minister with cancer i've got the group there biological family right there group and and i looked at the biological father he was smiling he was smiling and the biological mother she looked a little disoriented probably like mary looks when jesus started this before april was i am stuff and mary's probably going damn what did i do wrong that my son would talk like that whoa do you scrap Pharisees and scraps did you bring the loaf of bread that i asked i am the way the truth of the life no one comes to the father but for me so here i am let's get back to the church the biological father is smiling the biological mother is disoriented to say the least and the biological sister looks frightened actually looks frightened her face is almost like who is this guy what david doesn't speak ever ever speak like this what is happening this is what is going to happen is you answer the call you have got to let go of past associations to accept the innocence of who you really are people aren't really people people are just thoughts and to the extent that those people reflect the love and joy and happiness in your mind you should welcome those witnesses because those people are being used by jesus and the holy spirit to witness to your truth and what about the naysayers what about the people that say you've you've gone insane i've fallen by heart i got happier and happier more joyful more and more happy more joyful in my life sometimes people would say david's not himself david's beside himself they used to say that about jesus back in the day he's beside himself imagine mary trying to explain well he's a little beside himself i've heard through the grapevine occasion people will say david doesn't have all of his marbles david has lost his marbles you better believe i've lost my marbles those hard rocks of judgments and grievances are long gone i have lost my marbles i'm happily happily lost my marbles to be in alignment with spirit i am happy to let the past go so when we are ready to follow the lord and say yes to the call we have to be willing to lay everything in our mind on the altar and say all we're really doing is saying to jesus and holy spirit you use it if i had children i put them on the altar i say holy spirit you know the best use of my children you know the best use if i had a house if i have funds if i have a debt that isn't that wonderful that we can give a debt to the holy spirit isn't that the coolest thing why don't the the the money managers the counselors our financial counselors tell us we can give the debt to jesus how many counselors here can you go to in doubt there probably are some but if you go in there and you say have a student loan or have a credit card debt or whatever they say let us pray let us give that debt over to jesus christ immediately that's the most effective way i'll tell you that that will handle that debt in the fastest way possible and i've got plenty of witnesses for that because i've been doing this for 30 years and that's a common one i get people that are facing debt they're facing burdens responsibilities do these obligations they feel wound into this world like quicksand they feel like their feet forget the feet they're knee deep they're up to their thighs in quicksand they say they don't understand the more i move and struggle the deeper i go in the quicksand and i say oh i totally understand that i was doing that for the first 27 years of my life and for the last 32 years we'll say i've been following another teacher you cannot serve two masters you cannot serve two masters first 27 years of my life i was serving the ego and i had a lot of depression and anxiety and shyness and stuckness to show for it 27 years of moving in the wrong direction so to speak even though it's all working for good it's it wasn't there wasn't it wasn't very tangible for me i wasn't joyful i wasn't vibrant i wasn't happy because i was following the voice of fear get more education say for a rainy day you don't talk to strangers you know all the things a lot of us were raised with you know be careful be cautious it's a dog eat dog world out there how's change now and staying with the post with jolly and happy that's not dog eat dog that's happy happy happy i was singing with some kind of song i forget what i was singing it was something about happy and jolly oh yeah because it's all the christmas lights in here i i go to the house lisa and peter are hosting this and the two dogs are happy and jolly you've met and and this last night jesus is singing to me in my mind so i'm kind of going around going have a jolly happy christmas it's the best time of the year oh my god we have a happy jolly oh my god we have a happy jolly oh my god we have a happy jolly christmas this year that's the name of the dogs that's the beautiful snowy covered tree that's there all year round it was a symbol jesus was playing in my mind as he always is playing always singing happy songs always incorporating whatever is around me and the happiest of tunes sing a happy tune the bible says make a joyful noise for for the lord make a joyful noise when we follow when we say yes to the spirit's plan joy is the thing that comes into our state of mind that's that's our what's in our awareness is the joy it's always there but if we choose to resist not yet lord i'm not ready yet that those are the biggest those are the biggest blocks putting jesus on the timeline instead of saying okay if you're calling me there must be a reason you're calling me because you are the first one to complete your part of the atonement and you're in charge of the whole plan for the whole cosmos so when the the boss when the one who's orchestrating time and space all for us says i'm calling you now then the only reasonable answer is here i am lord reporting for duty reporting for active duty he's not asking us to go into war he's calling us into peace we're called an active duty for peace of mind and so we need to be ready to respond with yes but that's why you're up here close because you had a zillion questions and i've only started on number one but i'm ready for progress i'll say that i love my kids which i do but um i get so irritated so easily by them especially with a little one of course i was green because but i can feel inside of me like wanting to like open the door and just like run away like like leave me alone and um i just don't know where that's coming from why i get so irritated so fast with this little one i feel guilty like guilt comes up because i'm feeling this way and um i don't know i feel like i should not be feeling that like because you started talking about discipline we're having you know you just spoke about it a little bit and i guess i don't really know how to discipline my kids because they get away with a lot of stuff a lot of stuff um because i just don't know how to do it and i've had a discussion with my daughter or like i've told her you know i'm doing the best i can i don't know how to be a mom there's not a book i just don't know i'm doing the best i can that i get a lot of judgment from my family my in-laws and everybody that i'm not doing enough of a good job with my kids so i guess i'm asking for help on how do i discipline my kids how do i when i feel this irritation how do i go deeper into like i want to heal that i just don't know how all right i want to hear it yeah yeah that's a good that's a good question let's go into that because because the ego has a plan of forgiveness and the ego's plan of forgiveness is if something were different in this world someone acted different if something changed in the world of form i would be happy and then the Holy Spirit has a plan of forgiveness if i changed my mind i changed my purpose if i changed my perspective i would be happy so we have two plans of forgiveness one for the ego the death wish that actually wants us to stay guilty and that's that voice in your mind that wants to say it wants you to conclude something about your identity for example it wants you to conclude i'm a bad mom because if you conclude i'm a bad mom and guess what it's going to throw heaps on top of that guilt and it wants to hit you so stuck in guilt that you won't even think about escaping from this world it wants you to conclude perhaps other people have said perhaps you've had the thoughts of i don't know how to be a mom they're getting away with a lot of things that maybe they shouldn't be getting away with i don't have how to discipline so those are all just thoughts and then the ego comes in with and it's because i'm a bad mom and if you accept that then you accept the guilt that comes with that now the Holy Spirit is going to say we have to use everything in the world that comes up just as a starting point for forgiveness so why don't we take your youngest and why don't we take a specific situation where you start to feel that like you just want to run out the door when you're proceeding this specific situation because this was given to me today from my levels of mind levels of mind dot com and also it's in a couple of the books and it's online there's a there's a worksheet called instrument for peace that kind of goes with this but this is like the metaphysics of the Jesus gave me and what's going on in our minds and the desire is at the center you know when i talked about wanting lord is my shepherd i show up once when we were talking about our desires and desires that's at the center and then right outside the the core which is desire is belief so the ego is a belief if you have a desire for anything you can bet that a belief will spring from like in the Course in Miracles Jesus said truth will be returned to your awareness by your desire as it was lost by your desire for something else that's the line from the Course let me use another word maybe you put another word i'm down there in the bible also i mean substitute Jesus likes to substitute words he loves you so let's use prayer instead of desire truth will be returned to your awareness by your prayers as it was lost to your awareness by your prayers for something else maybe you had a strange weird prayer on time what if there's more than everything what if there's more than heaven that's a strange prayer well it may it's a strange prayer but that's how the ego seemed to arise from this sense of more what if there's more what if okay i'm a perfect child of god what if there's more that's that's what the that ego belief seemed not in reality that seemed to arise from a belief could i have more you know that goes with your parents when you when you're a kid and you start asking for more and then there's a little struggle that usually comes in you want more and more and more more allowance more chocolate more popcorn more play time more more more until finally the the iron hand comes down it says stop that's not attractive you always asking for more so outside of desire is beliefs than outside of police of thoughts outside of thoughts are our emotions and here where the little character is on top the little human being that's perception the body is part of the perception of the world a fragmented perception of the world so let's start at the top because we we have to do that okay we have to we have to it has to be totally this way we have to start where we perceive ourselves because we we have to work our way in because we're unaware of at the core if we if we were aware of the core would be a quick shot back to god oh here's the holy instant i desire the holy instant this holy instant when i give to you you know all the things in the course that's the quick shot i need to do nothing all that stuff comes right in here so let's do something specific from something that your your youngest some action or behavior or scenario or something that just you notice there's like a a reaction it comes on the inside i don't know if this can be used but i see it that happens over and over and over again i was here yesterday and i received a text from my son he kept calling me and then he texted me and i showed it to hope where he's like mom come home my dad so mean he just and it just happens over and over again where they just can't get along and i'm in the middle and i don't know what to do and it's like i just feel irritated and yeah like wanting to run away even though i was not home my son was like crying out mom come save me i didn't want to be with my dad so um and even when i was coming this morning you know he's like mom no please don't don't leave me with my dad no oh my goodness like that can be used yeah oh yeah that's perfect because any any perception that's good that you're filling in the details of perception the the words the tones of the words the the text all those things give us all a pretty good picture of the perception you know we have to that's the thing about the spirit you know everything is so practical jesus wants us to be practical he just is saying to us hide nothing from me like be totally be an open book just let it all hang out with me and i i will handle things i will help you clear your mind i will help you clear your perception and so when you start off with that then it comes down to it's back to this call thing like like for you um i already discussed yesterday how maracas it was for diana and i to come with the invitation uh to come down here and and we were even looking for a room for us and then you know came here found this place and all the different things so so i sense that there's a sense of part of you is this called was called to come and be here yesterday and called to come and be here today and then it's like there's there seems to be the supposing force coming through with these texts or these words or whatever that's kind of saying don't leave me with him stay with me be here and how many of us have felt pulled in a couple two or more directions where we feel a call to something and then there's something else that seems to be an opposing force coming in there but saying no do this instead you know it's like this is the definition of a split mind i call it the committee most of us have a committee in there and the committee meets regularly and the committee has lots of discussions and the committee voices you know this is schizophrenia but i say that's what the human condition is it's schizophrenia you do hear voices in your mind people say that he knew the only spirit they can hear voices they say i can't hear the voice of the only spirit but i hear the committee the committee is very active i don't mean well it's like saturday night point counterpoint you know jane curtain and dan ack road point counterpoint there's this there's this thing going on where our mind isn't quite sure about what it is or what it's doing and there's a lot of discussions and well let's let's divide to the positives and the negatives the pros if your committee's ever broken it up into the pros and cons you're contemplating a new relationship it seems like a big deal here at the pros this is good this is good but can you live with this these are the cons you see this is how the committee works so so really what we do when we start to practice the course is we realize that that our perception of the world has a lot going on underneath it and you were talking about intense emotions today and the tears coming when you were here and this is usually a feeling of being torn in some way split in some way so we have conflicting emotions what this diagram is showing is that there are thoughts under those conflicting emotions we have joyful happy loving emotions and we have fearful emotions that can take the form of anxiety guilt shame pain many things we have conflicting emotions we have conflicting thoughts and we underneath those conflicting thoughts we have a conflicted belief system if our mind was a computer system we've got a virus our our thought system has been infected with a virus of ego a virus of scarcity lack and guilt what do you do when your computer has a virus clean it you do shut the computer off i thought somebody was going to recommend me some uh some guy on the street corner i love it clean it shut the computer off shut the computer off is like be still and yours is clean it so that i can know that i'm one with god you know that's a good answer but you can see how we need to we need that practice we need to make that an active practice of stopping pausing instead of reacting and i'm sure you do that like you say these are internal you don't you don't show every emotion you have you don't talk out every thought that wouldn't even be practical even if you are part of our community where there's no private thoughts and no people pleasing if you kept exposing every single thought and emotion you ever had somebody would say somebody's got to do the dishes you know when you go along practical living things come in even when you're dealing with all this cauldron of of emotions so i would say that that as jesus tells us all of your problems have already been solved but it won't help you to tell you that as long as you miss define the problem if you know anything about the 12 step program you know that the 12 step program wouldn't work unless you if you skipped over that step that you have to admit that you have a problem that you have to admit that you are powerless over alcohol or over the situation that you're dealing with if you just took that out of the 12 steps do you think those 12 steps would be affected if you just skipped over the admission of the problem jesus is saying the same thing in the course he's saying oh you have a perceptual problem but until you admit that until you fully admit that you have a perceptual problem then you're not going to be able to accept the solution if you still think you have relationship problems you're denying that it's a perceptual problem if you still have financial problems you're denying that if you have physical symptoms or paint even paint experience around the body or psychologically and you think it's that psychological problem or that physical problem anything that you believe is the problem without first accepting you have a perceptual problem is this is a denial it's like trying to skip over the direct pathway to the correction so like in 12 step programs they will go around the room and they'll introduce themselves hi my name is so and so and i'm an alcoholic you see how it's so important not to step over the admission of the problem that they will reinforce that every single time they start a meeting hi my name is so and so and i'm an alcoholic and then they welcome they all welcome then my name and that's very important we have course groups going on all around the world but why is it that the course groups don't start with hi my name is so so and i have a perceptual problem they should because because that's the one thing you have to admit before you can go for the solution usually it's hi so so let's okay what chapter are we on or what we're going to read whatever who's going to read first and this and this let's get busy to the busy busy mess of reading the book or take your coat off no i've had a rough week all i had a rough day today my boss no you don't have a boss problem my period my my brain headache my stuck in the traffic my car that broke down my children that are texting me every hour my my my my my my oh my name is so and so and i have a perceptual problem i have a perceptual problem yes something helpful for me is the second half of that first step is you know i'm not just powerless uh my life is unmanable yeah my life has become unmanable by me in the second step i can't believe this power greater than myself could restore me to sanity yeah well those first two steps how where would you be in the 12 steps without three made a decision to turn our will in our life with the care of god as we have to so it's a natural for going in many years i you know work those steps and they never made more sense to me that that is the beginning of accepting the call that's the beginning of of going for your joy following your heart following your happiness is that mission that the world as it seems to be organized the world as i perceive it the linear world of causes and effects the the human condition as i seem to have been invented that's one of the workbook lessons of the course of miracles i've invented the world i see the human condition as i have invented let's see to be more specific the human condition is the ego invented it as the ego made it up that's even but more specific i have to admit that i was wrong about that that i actually maybe i'm not convinced i'm wrong but i hope i was wrong i'd be better off if i were wrong that's what he says in the rules for decision you would be better off if you were wrong and some of you remember that part of the course would you rather be right or happy that's what he's talking about would you rather be right minded and joyful and or would you rather be happy would you would you rather be the wrong mind of the way the world was constructed or would you better be right in a new way of looking at the world is really what it's saying so how does that apply with the children well we were talking yesterday about my friend lisa some of you were here she's the one who was going she was suicidal was saying if you're there god you better you better do something quick you better show yourself and then she had this real mystical experience of like an angelic experience of flashes of light coming to her lisa truly believed truly fly and then she fired up and went down and was all happy with her children and everything like this when i first started to visit lisa in her house that's that was kind of the situation of the house you you have a house and you have a husband lisa didn't have a husband at that time but she had two teenagers and uh when she invited me to the house she did say she said i want i want to cook your your meal what's your favorite meal and i said what's your favorite meal she said prime rib said good let's have a prime rib so we went right in but then it was beginning to start to practice the course practice all of this with her thoughts and feelings and basically she was doing a juggling act she was working a job she was trying to parent her children as a single parent and she had this sneaky suspicion that her parenting had gotten way out of control like she was not really parenting in the most helpful way but it was it felt like it was out of her control the whole house it was closed all over the house she basically would go work her full-time job as she was uh had a nursing staffing company come home go all over the house picking up clothes and cooking meals she was literally the slave in that dreamscape and she was burned out she was tired and she couldn't even take the time to do her course lessons and pray and meditate even though she was being called by god she was so caught like caught in the wheel of almost like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz all her straw had been taken out from from inside of her and thrown all over the road and she felt fatigued and irritated and angry and and wondering how do i turn the ship around so that's what we start doing with this kind of a worksheet this kind of a teaching on on facing things so the most important thing is just that spark in your heart like i'm being called by god i can answer the call i have the full capability to answer the call i will succeed in answering this call because to deny the call is is that is insanity start grinding insanity and i will succeed in this call and just like with my friend lisa's that that's been a huge turn i don't know how many years it's been like 12 years or 13 14 i lose track of time maybe more but it's been like a very uncertain effort at at healing the mind like using all of the support that's available using all of your prayers and and the biggest temptation initially is is this feeling of being overwhelmed that's that's where it gets to be so conflictual i had that in my life in the parable of david there was one point where i felt i felt overwhelmed i felt stressed i felt stretched i felt disheartened i felt empty i felt sad i felt like i was hitting like a rock bottom and then i remember one point where i went and confessed this all to my mother confessed it all and said but i still have hope that i can turn my life around i mean my big confession to my mother and i said i still have hope i can remember and remember my mother said it's too late okay well that's good one of that kind of got me fired up a little bit you know you've got to realize that that the one you're really confessing to is the holy spirit really that just is a symbol and that the holy spirit is actually never going to tell you it's too late the holy spirit will just go thank you we needed that we needed this starting point it's time to come clean it's time to speak it up did something inside say no it isn't yeah that did come pretty quickly like i think it's not too late yeah yes so you talk about finding your your joy and you talk about finding your joy your happiness are they though veils over the two emotions are they part of them aren't joy and happiness an emotion yes yeah jesus does say of course he simplifies it for us and he says you have a two emotions love and fear so joy and happiness would say their derivatives of love and so those are very important parameters in other words if we're going to be drawn up we'll say through the tractor beam we there's something about this love attraction we'd like to be drawn into love through attractiveness we don't want to to be fighting and kicking or or fighting against the darkness we want to be drawn by the love and the more we give ourselves over to miracles which is what of course the miracles about that's where that happiness those that's where those loving emotions the happiness the joy come from being a miracle worker and let's face it who who among us here when we were children were growing up that we thought we would be careful that that was not something that was that the child at the dinner table eat your peas eat your carrots you know there was no David you'll grow up to be a miracle worker take heart you know but eat your peas you know there was not there wasn't any of that you know that's it's quite a startling thing when we start to to even have an admission that we're here to be miracle workers or teachers of God or whatever terms you want to use you know it you can use anywhere it doesn't really matter we're gonna be bringers of light or messengers of love and light or whatever you want to call it that's quite an admission because we've got a lot of programming that's telling us a lot of other things so we've got to figure out what we're going to be when we grow up and we better have a plan you know with lots of good education and lots of support and resources and finances to follow it up but when we open to miracles then yes those are the that's how you really know you're you're flowing in the plan is by those loving emotions so in that sense when I say emotions the realm there is more like our emotions are like our barometer and there is one time I remember in a course of miracles that Jesus says you you can you can't tell how it's going you can tell whether you're lining up with your the presence of God and love he says you can't ask yourself how do I feel and and that is a barometer like our feelings are to be used as a barometer to acknowledge that we are following the spirit now I should also say that ego is very clever and tricky and ingenious so it has invented a lot of feelings that are not inspired by love and that's why even though it's the most basic thing to ask yourself how do you feel you really have to have a strong sense of discernment around those feelings because you have to start to come to a sense of deep honesty around those feelings so I'll talk about that for a second there's a part in a course of miracles where he's saying your perception is so distorted that if this distorted perception now which you find yourself right now you cannot tell the difference between pain and joy you cannot at this distorted perception tell the difference between pain and joy what he's really saying is if you could tell the difference between pain and joy all you would experience would be joy there's some kind of trick going on some kind of mesmerism a very sneaky ego trick that has you attracted to the misery attracted to the pain and there's three subsections in the course when you get to the special love special relationship chapters 15 to 24 where the beginning there where he's basically saying he has three subsections attraction to guilt attraction to sickness and attraction to death only jesus author could get could write a book to put those as three subsections in the chapter and hope the book will sell imagine writing a book attraction to sickness attraction to go attraction to death fraction of the pain actually i think is pain guilt and death those three anybody who had an attraction to real pain was it that's the obstacles to peace section yeah yeah so so basically we do want to use our emotions as parameters and also we have to really be discerning because the ego is going to try to mess that up too it doesn't want us escaping from its its crazy thought system when you talk about no group no repression is that would you consider going through that a practical application or can you elaborate on the practical application of no repression yeah i think a lot of people do use instrument for peace is a way of undoing the repression because you know basically as part of the personality self you know we're taught we have to survive so if we have traumatic experiences let's say we have childhood memories of sexual abuse or horrific memories of going to school or abusive situations bullies or traumatic experiences with like losing a spouse or losing a parent or you know being war experiences that people i work with that come from war zones and they say i've got post traumatic stress syndrome and so on and so forth that the mind and it's a survival mechanism it it represses and suppresses and pushes pushes thoughts believes memories out and when we talk about decision for example um and we say sickness is the decision we say everything really we experience is a decision the rules for decision jesus says you're making decisions continually but there's a lot of decisions that you are not aware of so he's describing the shadow of the unconscious mind we've got it looks like you had a computer program and you've got a lot of things running a lot of programs open at the same time a lot of things running and then you're using your computer and you notice your computer gets slower and slower and slower and then it starts to freeze and you go hmm maybe a virus there's something going on but it's but it's somewhere on your computer it's not like you know you may have to do scans you may have to do a lot of scans and searches to find it it's very similar to what what this is all about it's almost like let's go inside and clean which is what peter said if you have a virus you need to clean you need to pause turn off your computer and and have a strategy of cleaning and so some sense that's what we were saying the other day that jesus says an untrained mind can accomplish nothing and he also says you're much too tolerant of mind wandering maybe there's a lot of unconscious mind wandering that's going on and basically when we're conscious of something of decisions that's one thing when we're not conscious of decisions they are beliefs that's what a belief is the belief is an unconscious decision it's been pushed out of awareness so you're operating on it but you don't see it it's down there and most of us were not told in school okay boys and girls are going to become Sherlock Holmes but instead of finding crime solving crime mysteries you're going to solve the riddle of your own mind day one we're gonna get get our white board out we're gonna here we are in kindergarten we're gonna talk about the levels of mind here in kindergarten you still have your nap you just still have your snacks but we've got to talk about some very important things here because you may be tempted to get into fights with your classmates food fights you may be tempted to those are all kinds of struggles and project onto your your classmates and even onto your teacher that's why we've got this that we have to be in power we have to start to see we can be proactive about discovering what's going on and that's that's a huge part of it is uncovering these things so would that be like you actively look within yourself but would you take that whatever is happening in your life at that present moment that might be creating an upset as your starting point or would you try to just continually go deeper and look if you're not in joy am i making sense if i'm not in complete bliss and everything that or i'm not enjoying feeling that joyful feeling every day should i actively search what am i you know what is my belief system is blocking that joy or would you just wait till holy spirit brings it in front of your face to look at it's kind of a combination every time we get upset the holy spirit has already brought in front of us he's brought it to our attention that even when discomfort is introduced there's there's a plan underneath that and and the plan is not to keep stuffing you know that's part of the ego's plan of how to deal with upset stuff and just stuff it stuff it stuff almost like if you had a rock and you just kept cleaning around the rock and then you just instead of sweeping into a dustpan you just keep lifting up the corner of the rock and you just keep stuffing the dust in the dirt under the rock and then the next time you stuff it down there and stuff it pretty soon you have lumps you start tripping over the carpet but you can't see the dirt but you've been sweeping the dirt under the rug anybody would tell you that's not a practice the same thing is in dentistry if you know we can be attracted to sugars sweets my grandmother had a sweet tooth i had a sweet tooth but you know it wouldn't have been nice if we had some instructions you know you can have all these sweets they taste good but you have to really keep your teeth clean to take care of your teeth because if you just keep sweet sweet sweets it will take away the enamel on you it would be nice if we had an owner's manual as we came in as human beings so as soon as we were old enough that our parents sat down and said let's go over the owner's manual it's time we had to talk it's not a birds and bees talk it's a it's a perception emotion thoughts beliefs desire talk that's said the birds and bees we need this before we need sex education we need this before we pursue huge quantities of ice cream and and how we treat and and candy we need and now that we've got it we need to to go with it and really use it so that's what I just encourage everybody and the book back there on mind your mind back to God what that really is is me working with a group of students back in the 1990s where we're working on this kind of thing tracing it back from the perceptions deeper into the mind with everything i was part of a community where children there people were dealing with job issues one guy was working at a restaurant so he was dealing with all of the co-workers and he would come off of work and he would have all this resentment and anger about this busy restaurant and everything like this and he started talking about it which was good but then he made a mistake he started to go in his restaurant with his co-workers in the kitchen he tried to teach a course of miracles he was telling his co-workers you're never upset for the reason you think anger is never justified he tried to teach a course of miracles in the restaurant kitchen and it backfired because at some point when he started to get upset they started feeding him back everything that he was telling him anger is never justified and it just the children will do this too they try to verbally teach them the course they'll come back with it right at you and it will accelerate the whole thing but they were saying Keith you know you know there's no reason to be angry you know it can't be justified everything he gets so upset I think he finally moved on from that job because it it turned into a wildfire with all these private thoughts being shared so so it does take a discernment you have to be very prayerful about applying this who to talk to who has the years to hear you know even Jesus would preface his talks with for those that have the years to hear let them hear he was very very prayerful in all his talks and discussions when he talked as well so we can learn from the way show we need to be that humble but modest that prayerful and now try to convince anybody of anything because really our mind is being convinced by the Holy Spirit that's the important convincing and we don't need if we keep trying to convince others we need to start to question that and say why is it so important to me that they act a certain way speak a certain way think a certain way of course with the children too that's that's a pretty strong temptation you know with parenting there's there's one temptation laissez-faire hands off it's out of my control they're out of my control I have no control over the world and I definitely had no control over these these children and then there's more of the where there's a feeling that I need to be speaking and interacting and I need to say certain things and maybe I need to set certain guidelines or encourage give guidelines encouragement is there any time I need to be reinforcing and sharing things most parents are dealing with a style of parenting that is is prevention and prohibition and and control that's they're dealing with a major control issue in the mind and they're dealing with it in terms of their children so there's a war that breaks out at some point during childhood and that war may go on for the rest of the life they start with tunes when you first was saying oh honey can you make sure you clean that up and you get the no no word comes for the first time and then the ego is activated like well we got a paddle on our hands we don't we do not have to yes we have a no we've got a situation here you're all that pointed the finger right between our eyes and said no with force behind it what are we going to do you need jesus in a big way at that point because if you don't follow jesus then there's going to be consequences singing consequences that come from believing that there's something outside of you that is contesting your very identity and that's that's the authority problem that jesus is talking about the beliefs that you can offer yourself is something that has to be rinsed away and the children are showing up playing their part perfectly as as asked for I'm here at your request you've drawn me here I'm here to act out in many ways so that we can learn to accept the attainment and you'll thank me for this at some point when we come around back to jesus you'll thank me for everything that I seem to do and everything that I seem not to do you'll thank me for it so that's that's kind of that's the that's what's really going on it's an undoing of an authority problem be ready for a break