 Hello and welcome to At the Crossroads. I'm your host, Keisha King, and I want to thank you so much for joining me on Think Tech Hawaii, where you can find us streaming live every Wednesday at 5 p.m. And you can also catch us later on on YouTube after the show is over. We like to talk about relevant matters that are happening in our area and on the news throughout the world. Today's show is no different. It's actually a very serious matter as we are talking about mental health and wellness. Now I know we all are thinking about all the mass shootings that has happened both in our schools, throughout our cities, and even at the movie theater. Most recently we had a mass shooting where five people, very innocent people, were killed. And we often have to ask ourselves amid the discussions of gun violence and whether or not guns kill people or people kill people, at the very heart of this we are concerned about the mental state of the offender and then of course the mental health and well-being of the surviving victims. So today we have with us a very special guest who's going to talk to us about mental health, about therapy, about how help can be provided in our communities. But on a personal note, I wanted to share that this is an issue that is very near and dear to me. I have a family member who has battled with mental health and wellness issues in the past. Something as simple as a change in family dynamics can totally misconscrew how people view their world and it changes everything for them. My hope is that this show and others like it will help those types of people get the support that they need. I know I did. Many years ago, my family, as I knew it, totally changed. And I sought therapy to help me through the process of divorce. I went week after week and it helped. It helped me to understand how I could overcome the challenge and what I could do to move forward. It was part of my healing and part of my growth. And now I see therapy as a part of everyone's, should be a part of everyone's need and everyone's, I would say self-love. Self-love and self-care are two topics that I talk about frequently. I have workshops and seminars to discuss them. But amongst other things that I share, I often tell people, can't help, go and talk to someone who is skilled and trained, who can help you through those challenging times in life. Because let's face it, there's no getting around it. We have stress at our jobs. We have stress in our family life. Our personal life could be an area where we face stress and it's okay to go and seek help. So today we're going to talk about it. I'm happy to say that I have not only a very important colleague, but a personal friend who's going to share with us the importance and the necessity of mental health awareness and therapy. On today's show we have Sherri L. White. She is the owner of I Am Becoming Free and I Am Becoming Consultants. Our contact information is listed there because she is able to help you no matter where you are and there are others like her whereas if you need help she can refer you. Sherri has years of experience and she is happy and delighted to share what she knows about the wellness of our minds, our emotions and our total well-being. Sherri, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. It is my total pleasure. I want to thank you for the work that you do in the lives of so many people. Why don't you talk to us and let us know. What is it that you do? I am a Marriage and Family Therapist intern and it's important to know that the intern status is still attached to my credentials as I am pre-licensed. So it still allows me supervision under a licensed clinician as I seek to take my licensure exam. I provide individual, family and group therapy, specializing services in trauma-informed care, trauma survivors whether it's a violent crime or emotional or whatever is causing trauma to clients because what tends to happen is we think that trauma is only in war times and things of that nature but trauma is something that we are all subjected to fairly regularly. So one of the areas of specialty is definitely trauma and services for women and girls specifically middle and high school. Okay. Wow, that is fully loaded but it sounds like in all you help people no matter what level they're at and it sounds like you help both individuals and groups. Is that right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. All right. So now Sherry I have to talk to you a little bit because as I mentioned in the intro I went through therapy during the time of my divorce and it was easy for me to go. I knew that I should probably talk to someone who was not exactly involved directly with the matter at hand. It was easy also because as a woman or as women we have a tendency to want to talk things out. Can you talk to us though about the opposite sex? How easy is it have you noticed for men to attend therapy? You know it's interesting because I've had discussion recently on a podcast regarding specific communities accessing mental health and I do have actually I think about four or five male adult male clients and over the years I have seen teenage boys come into therapy for services as well. The one thing that I do see a lack of is services in communities of color being accessed by men. I don't believe that they're not going but I think that there's definitely a lack of connectivity for them to seek therapy. I think overall as a whole it's a little more challenging for men to seek therapy more so than it is for women but I do provide services to a few men currently but I can honestly say in my 20 plus years I have never provided services to a male, an adult male of a minority community which is an interesting dynamic right now. I have to agree with you. I have reviewed some of the statistics and I do recognize that it is very hard for an African American male to admit that he needs to talk to someone and I think that part of that has to do with that stigma that they don't want to be perceived as the C word. Crazy. Right. Would you agree? Right. Yes. And so it's really kind of hard to help someone who is afraid of being talked about or accused of being crazy but can you help us understand that people who attend therapy are just like you and I. They are people who just need someone to talk to. It doesn't necessarily mean that they have a diagnosis such as any diagnosis at all other than needing to talk. Right. And I often say that if I had it my way everybody would have a therapist you know whether it's an adult or a child. I absolutely agree with the fact that there's a lot of stigma within the African American community regarding mental health services but I also think some of it has to do with just community as well more so in the ability or the belief that oh you know just kind of work through it or just kind of shake it off and you know one of the big things is just pray about it and it will get better without understanding that there is a definite necessity to connect to not just the spiritual side of yourself for the sake of healing but also the human side of yourself and what I have found both personally and professionally that if my human self is not healthy then I tend to not reach forward spiritually for growth. So I you know I think therapy is a process that everyone can benefit from whether it's an individual or family or couples regardless of if you've been subjected to extreme trauma or challenges in your life sometimes it's good just to have a neutral party so to speak available that you can just kind of bounce things off of and get the help that you need. I think you made a good point about there's not always necessarily a diagnosis attached to therapy. Right. Some individuals come in and just need to work through just work life challenges and coaching is good for that. That's right. So there's a definite outlet on both sides to receive the help that you need to maintain a good emotional and mental health wellness. And you know you touched on two things one that I want to get back to in a moment but the area of faith and spirituality in the African-American community is highly important. So it's very tough for someone who is not well versed in mental health to say oh I'm not going to rely on my faith or spirituality but rather I'm going to go to someone else who can help me. Most times African-Americans don't want to turn away from their faith. They feel as though that is against what they should do. And I also want to bring up the effects of a lack of good mental health in the community in all communities because this is not something that is solo to African-American communities. And what I've noticed is that it could lead to major depression, attention deficit disorder and suicide. A lot of times people are going through so much that it does come to a point where they have this crashing in where they want to end their lives. What can we do to prevent some of those conditions in all communities for all people? Education is important. Last year around the first of the year sometime around this time I spoke at a huge convention for ministers and representatives within the AME church and one of the challenges that was presented was access based on communities or if there were therapists available because there are actually cities where therapists have to travel from main cities into rural areas to provide services and what you tend to run into in those situations is the lack of a location to provide services. And sometimes I've heard, oh well just meet at the church and you can do this. And just because of like you say that stigma that is attached therapy is a very confidential and personal process. So sometimes if someone knows, oh your therapist is coming to the church to see you they're less than comfortable with that being a meeting place. So there needs to be more structures available outside of the church or community based facilities where people feel safe and feel as if they can come and share. Education is necessary because I think a lot of people don't understand exactly what the therapeutic process is. They're kind of going based on what they see on TV or what Melpeth told them from their personal experiences so that also creates a hesitance as well. So education is necessary from the youngest of ages to the oldest because there's also a huge population of elderly that are going through late life medical challenges and traumatic health issues and they're just kind of suffering through and not seeking mental health assistance while their body is going through such extreme changes. So definitely education is key. You're exactly right on that. We're going to take a quick break. We're going to come back. We're going to touch on the education piece, especially as it relates to the differences in types of therapy that you can receive. We want to talk about the therapist versus the life coach and the therapist versus the pastor. And a little bit more too. So we're going to take a very quick break and come back again at the Crossroads. This is Think Tech Hawaii, raising public awareness. When I was growing up, I was among the one in six American kids who struggled with hunger and hungry mornings make tired days. Grumpy days. That kind of days. But with the power of breakfast, the kids in your neighborhood can think big and be more. When we're not hungry for breakfast, we're hungry for more. More ideas. More dreams. More fun. When kids aren't hungry for breakfast, they can be hungry for more. Go to Hungarys.org and lend your time or your voice to make breakfast happen for kids in your neighborhood. And we are back at the Crossroads. I'm your host, Keisha King here at Think Tech Hawaii, where you can find us both online at thinktech.com. And you can find us live every Wednesday at 5 p.m. on Facebook. And we'll see you next time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You can find us live every Wednesday at 5 p.m. on Facebook at the Think Tech website or thinktech. Hawaii page on Facebook. You can also catch us after the show on YouTube. Today's show, we're talking about mental health, wellness. It's so important in our society today that we care for our We take care of our physical health by going through exercise and proper diet. We take care of our financial health by hopefully, I hope you have a budget and something else that you live up to so that you're not living from either paycheck to paycheck or paycheck to Monday. But if you take care of yourself in those ways, you should also consider taking care of your mental health. And there are a variety of ways that you can do that and a variety of resources that are available to you. So I want to bring back our guest, Sherri L. White with I am becoming free.com and becoming consulting. She is a, let me get this right, Sherri. Why don't you tell us your title again because I know you're an intern and it's important that we say that, but you are a family life, oh, how is it? Marriage and family therapists. Marriage and family therapists. And you see couples, individuals and groups. What about age groups? Do you see adults and children or one or the other? Adults and I specialize, like I said earlier, in services specifically associated with women and teenage girls. So my age range tends to be from middle school, sixth grade age, which is around 11. That's right. So mid-late adulthood. Okay. Got it. So you handle or you work with primarily women and girls and middle school age is your primary area of focus. We were touching on just before the break the cultural differences that we face sometimes in certain communities. And I think all throughout the country there's this huge stigma about what mental health is what it means. As a matter of fact, I have a new TV show that I like to watch, Magnum PI on CBS. I watched it last night, even though it comes on Monday nights. I watched it on the CBS app and it struck me because they had as one of the main characters a man with schizophrenia and they were concerned the plot had to do with who killed this man. And I loved watching it because the man, though he had a very short scene in the very beginning, he looked normal. He spoke normal. He was not having an out-of-body experience. He wasn't hallucinating. He looked like your average American person, but he had schizophrenia. And I want to speak to the fact that a lot of times people who have mental health issues look just like everyone else, sound just like everyone else. And a lot of times their mental health can be controlled by medication. So I want you for a brief moment to touch on the topic of medication, even though I know a psychiatrist is the one who prescribes, I just want you to let everyone know out there that it's okay if you need medicine for a while, for a long period of time. Can you talk to us about that? Yes, I can. Actually, my practice is associated with my sister's practice who is a psychiatrist. Wonderful. So we tend to tag team, so to speak, when it comes to client services. So there are times where a client will come in to see her thinking that they need medication and following further evaluation, she'll say, no, I don't think you need medication. You probably need to see a therapist. And that's where they are referred to me. And so then, based on the information that they present at intake, then we decide what that therapeutic path needs to look like. But I also let them know, you know, a few months into this process, depending on how you're presenting or how you are responding to treatment, we may or may not need to revisit med management because in that initial evaluation with the psychiatrist, unless they're already coming in with pre-existing medications prescribed, then there's not a whole lot that is, you know, present other than self-reporting and reporting from schools or families or employers. So you may start on one end and end up at the other or just kind of include both. So for the client that I have that may have prescribed medications that they're taking, depending on the severity, it will determine how long they will continue to take that based on a psychiatrist follow-up and recommendation. So sometimes you will need both the medication depending on the severity of the mental health diagnosis and sometimes it's more behavioral management and that sort of thing. And I love that because you're exactly right. Sometimes we just need an adjustment in our behaviors and then there are other times when we actually need medication to help us get to where we need to be. So our levels may just need to be balanced before we can proceed to change our actions. When I was going through my process, I did a lot of behavioral changes that helped me cope and adjust with change because I had had such a major change in my life and I found that to be helpful. One of the things that I did initially was create affirmations and I recited my affirmations daily. I spoke about how fit I was, how happy I was, and I made sure each of those statements began with I am. I am fit. I am happy. And I even went a little deeper and I dreamt I had new dreams again. I spoke about those dreams and spoke as if they were happening in the now. So and I do realize that as a therapist, someone can teach you how to do that. But I also believe that life coaches have a place in making sure that people change their behaviors. And I don't know what you know about that. But if you can, just for about a minute or so, can you talk about the role of a life coach? The way I describe the variation in therapy and coaching, one of the biggest differences is you don't receive a diagnosis from a life coach. So that's one of the things that makes an immediate difference. So for example, if you are a fairly healthy person emotionally and you really haven't had any, you know, things in your life that have compromised or challenged your mental health, but you're just kind of finding a challenge with adjusting to a new job or move to a new city, you know, with the natural challenges that come with that, you know, meeting new people, finding new places of entertainment and just kind of uprooting yourself, then to just kind of connect and just hit the reset, then a life coach is good for that. A life coach would I'm sorry. I was just going to say, so they have their place, but I like the idea of a therapist, someone who has the training and the education. I do believe that there is a place for life coaches. And again, if you are not on the brink, I'll say, and that's my term, I'm not a therapist. But if you are not on the brink, if you are stable, then a life coach might be for you. But if you feel as though you need more help, if you feel as though your chemicals are imbalanced, or if you're certainly if you're having thoughts of suicide, or this inability to move forward, then I highly recommend a therapist one such as Sherri White. And I wish you well, Sherri. I thank you so much for being on our show today, first and foremost. And I wish you well as you continue your internship and move forward. Any parting words you want to say in about 15 seconds? No, mental health is not a scary monster. It's important that we are balanced. So seek out a life coach or a therapist based on what your needs and your challenges are. That's so right. Thank you so much, Sherri. We'll talk with you again. Perhaps you'll come back as our professional about mental health awareness. Thank you so much for today. And we'll see you next time. Thank you. You're welcome. As for everyone else, I just want to say a few things about mental health. Again, as we close, first and foremost, it's okay not to be okay. And if you need to get help, go get some help. Go get some help. Just talk to someone and seek out someone that you can relate to. Sometimes there are cultural differences that prevent us from being able to relate so thoroughly. I say keep looking until you find exactly what you need. Switching gears just a little bit. I kind of want to say thank you so much to those who have watched. We've been on the air, I think three or four weeks now. And as we progress, we'll talk about important matters such as mental health, love and relationships such as we're going to talk about in the next two weeks. We have a special two part series coming up about love, love relationships. We're going to talk about singleness. I'm single. I love talking about singleness because it's fun to talk about it and to be about it. We're going to help you make your way through it. Also in the coming weeks, we're going to get into some book reading. I read about one and a half books per week. And coming up in about three weeks, I'm going to start reading Hunger by Roxane Gay. So if you don't have a copy of it, I highly recommend that you get it. I'm going to say as a forewarning that some of the books that I read don't always match my personal beliefs. But I read them because I like to be challenged and I like to have an open mind. And I encourage you to do the same. As I prepare to close today, I want to say thank you to my guests who was on with us, Sherri White. I want to also say thank you for watching Think Tech Hawaii and continue watching At the Crossroads with me, Keisha King, your host who is here for you in any way that I can be. Have a phenomenal week and I'll see you next Wednesday. Aloha. Yeah. I have not done a commercial. I want to be wonderful. Here we go. Sherri, you still on the line? Hey, girlfriend. We really need to catch up. Yeah, we do.