 The Jell-O program brought to you by Jell-O and Jell-O Pudding, starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Dane, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with Jump for Joy, thrilling enjoyment you get from today's new Jell-O, now made better than ever by Jell-O's wonderful locked-in flavor. Here's one of the biggest improvements ever made in gelatin desserts, a new scientific method by which Jell-O's full original goodness is locked right into the tiny Jell-O particles. The gelatin desserts you use to buy continually lost flavor during the days they spent in the package. They became flat and tasteless as time stole away their freshness. But the new Jell-O is different. Today all of Jell-O's bright tingling flavor is locked into Jell-O's crystal-like particles, locked in for keeps where time can't touch it, no matter how long your Jell-O remains in the package. Just prove it for yourself, open a package of Jell-O. Notice there's no heavy fruity aroma that tells of escaping flavor, then dissolve the Jell-O and presto you unlock its captive delight and outpaws a delicious flood of flavor. Don't wait another day to try it friends, order several packages of the new Jell-O tomorrow. The flavor never goes away, we put it in and it's there to stay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, next Thursday is Thanksgiving and no doubt most of you will have turkey for dinner. That's right. So this evening, without further ado, we bring you a chestnut for your dressing, Jack Benny. Thank you, thank you. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking and Don, thanks so much for that introduction. It was not only topical but floppical. Chestnut for your dressing. Well, in my opinion, Jack, it was a very clever gag. I thought of it all by myself while I was shaving this morning. And you didn't cut your throat? I can't understand it. Anyhow, Don, it'll soon be Thanksgiving and I love you. By the way, would you and the little woman like to come over to my house next Thursday for a nice wild duck dinner? Thanks, Jack. We'll be very glad to. Wild duck, huh? Yep. I went hunting yesterday morning and as usual, I brought home the limit. Three ducks. Beauties, too. But Jack, the limit is ten ducks. Oh, I mean on one shot, Don. I... You see, I don't go out hunting and bang away like it's fourth of July, you know. Three ducks with one shot, my goodness, I had no idea you were such an expert hunter. Oh, sure, Don. For me, that's nothing. Well, I'd say that's darn good. By the way, Jack, what kind of a gun do you use? My... My gun? Oh, it's just a plain ordinary double-breasted shotgun. But it does the trick, though. You mean double-barrel, don't you? What? Oh, yes, double-barrel. It's a Westchester. Well, this is certainly... I never miss with it. You know, I really never, never miss it. This certainly is news. Bailey the sportsman. Tell me, what'd you get yesterday? Mallards or canvas bags? I... I beg pardon, I... What was that? I said, what did you get? Mallards or canvas bags? Yes, sir. But I want to tell you something, Don. Well, what were they? Mallards or canvas bags? They were ducks! Quack, quack! If you don't want to come to dinner, say so. Hmm. I suppose every time I shoot a duck, I have to go up to them and say, my name is Benny. What's yours? Don't be ridiculous. Well, I'm sorry, Jack. I didn't mean to... Okay, okay. Forget it. But believe me, Don, there's no thrill in the world. Like, getting out at five in the morning, hopping into that row boat and waiting for those ducks to fly by. Yes, there's no question about it. That's real excitement. By the way, Jack, do you use a retriever? Beg pardon, Don. Do I use a what? A retriever. You know, a dog that swims out and gets the ducks after you shoot them. A dog that swims... Say, that's an idea! That'll save Rochester from getting wet all the time. Wait till I tell him. Why, Jack, you don't mean to say that Rochester jumps into that cold water. Yes, and he brings back those ducks without a tooth mark on them. Except once when I accidentally hit them on top of the head with an oar. Anyway, Don, be sure and come to dinner and you'll taste the finest. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Hello, Don. Hello, Mama. Mama? Yes, she finally got a radio set. Oh. Hello, Mama. Keep up the payments. Gee, now she can listen to us. Oh, say, Mary, I went out hunting yesterday and I brought you a little present. Here you are, some beautiful duck feathers. Here. What do I want with duck feathers? You can put them on a hat or something. What can I do with them? Glue them on your chest. It's going to be a cold winter. They'll just fit on my tattooed eagle. I can go along with a gag, sister. Anyway, if you don't want them, I'll give them to Dennis. He'll think of something. Where'd you get those feathers, anyway? I told you, I went hunting yesterday. I go every year. Remember last year when Paul, when you were with me? Oh, yes. Did you tell Don what happened? Never mind. What was it, Mary? Jack was in a rowboat when some ducks flew by and boy was he excited. Oh. So he pulled a trigger too quick, shot a hole in the boat and came home with 18 trout. Well, they were delicious, fried in butter. And the way you explained that hole to the owner of the boat. Well, it could have happened. It could not. It could too. How can a boat be torpedoed in Lake Henshaw? All right, forget it was years ago. And that's the last time I'll ever take you ducking. Oh, hello, Phil. Hiya, Jackson. Well, kids, here's your tickets. Front row center. Best in the house. Tickets? What tickets? Here, Mary, now look. Hold them to Wednesday night and get there early. I don't want you to miss a thing. Wait a minute, Phil. What are those tickets for? Well, it says right there on them. And you guys don't think I can act, huh? Well, I'll be darned. Get a load of this, fellas. The Hollywood Night School third grade dramatic club. Invite you to a special Thanksgiving play entitled The Courtship of Miles Standish. Wow. Who are you, Phil, Miles Standish? Now, let her read it. Go ahead, Mary. This play stars Willie Shapiro as Miles Standish. Hmm. Butch Peterson as John Alden. Go on, go on. And Philip Harris as Priscilla. Priscilla? That's me. I'm the heroin. Hair oil. So, uh... Phil, you take the girls' party? Yeah. Ain't that a novelty? Well, not exactly, Phil. If you remember, I recently played the female lead in Charlie's Aunt. Yeah, but you were an old bag. I'm young and tender. Listen, Harris, I'll put on a sweater with you any day. Any day, brother. The Courtship of Miles Standish. Say that ought to be very interesting, Phil. Yeah. Now, look, fellas, get this plot. Miles Standish is the captain of the soldiers in Plymouth, Mass. And he knows plenty about fighting them Indians. But when it comes to clenching with a blonde, the kid ain't half. Ah. Anyhow, Captain Standish sees this beautiful doll, Priscilla. That's me with my curls comb doll. Hmm. And I'm sitting by the window in my cottage spinning the wheel. What are you doing, playing roulette? I don't know it, don't say. Isn't that awful? Anyhow, Phil, don't tell us the plot now. You'll spoil the surprise. What a character. Oh, Mary, would you mind telling our beautiful young pilgrim maiden to put down her spinning wheel and direct a band number? Why don't you speak for yourself, Jackson? Oh, go. Go ahead and play, will ya? Uh, hold it, Prissy. Come in. Tell my grand for Mary Livingston. Right here, bud. Give me a tip, will ya, Jack? Give me a tip, give me a tip. Well, it's your program. Okay, okay. Here you are, bud. Oh, goodie. A ticket to Miles Standish. Get out of here. Every time I look at his head, I want to play tic-tac-toe. Who's the wire from, Mary? It's from Mama. Dear Mary, program coming in fine. How can Jack have the heart to shoot a duck when he walks like one? Well, the old battle axe is still punching him out. Belly Laugh Barton gave us that gag. Play, Phil. Why did she have to buy a radio? Boris and his Plymouth Rocks. Plymouth meaning the boys have landed musically. And Rocks meaning I wish I had some. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as we announced last Sunday, the football season being in full swing. Tonight, the Benny Athletic Actors will present their annual drama of the gridiron entitled He Fumbled the Ball or Who Tickled the Tackle. Now, as usual, I will play the part of Dennis. Dennis, I wish you'd get here on time. I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Benny, but I couldn't find a place to park my car. Dennis, you don't have to drive around the streets all day. There's a parking lot next door where you can leave your car for 15 cents. How do you know? I heard about it. I can go along with a gag. Now, where was I? Say, Mr. Benny. What? I heard a broadcast last night that made my blood boil. It ought to burn you up, too. Why, who was funny? I mean, what do you mean? Well, I was over at my girl's house, necking with her, and she got bored and turned on the radio. Well, naturally. So? So we listened, and there was a guy on the air that sounded just like you. And he even used your name, Jack Benny. Dennis, that was me on the air last night. I was doing a special broadcast for NBC's 15th anniversary. Then who played the part of Don Wilson? That was Wilson himself. And if you'd have been with us, I'd still have to explain it to you. Gosh, was that really you and Don? Certainly. We did a comedy act. And now, ladies and gentlemen... Gee, it was so lousy, I couldn't believe it. Kid, you just... You just didn't get the idea of our act. We were very good. Then why did my girl turn off the radio and go back to me? I don't know. And now, ladies and gentlemen, getting back to our drama, I will play the part of Flash Benny, the famous football coach of Flatfoot College. Oh, Jack, why does it let someone else be the coach? You don't know anything about football. I don't, eh? Let me tell you something. When I was on the team at Warkeegan High, they used to call me Tiger Benny. That's because you scratched everybody with your long fingernail. They called me Tiger because when I played, I was a snarling, vicious animal. Like on payday? What was that, Dennis? Watch out for those fingernails, kid. No quiet. Now, let's get back to our casting. Phil, you're going to be right-end. Dennis, you're going to be left-end. And Don... Yes, Jack? You're going to be everybody in between. So loosen your belt. Now, Mary... You mean I'm going to be right guard, left guard, right tackle, left tackle and center? Yes. Well, I must be quite an actor. Take it any way you want to. Now, Mary, in as much as we're short of men, you'll have to play on the team, too. I'm not going to be a man. You are, too. I'm not going to wear football pants. And you're going to wear football pants. They better have lace on them. Never mind. Ooh, what she said. No use talking. I must have a talk with that kid. Now, our play... Dennis, did you ever see our wilderness? You must see it sometime. Now, our play, ladies and gentlemen, will go on immediately after... I'll take it. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny. This is Rochester. Well, what is it? I was looking at those ducks you shot yesterday, and you know, boss, they're pretty small. Yes, they are small. In fact, they ain't ducks at all. They're pigeons. Rochester, I ought to know what I shot. What makes you think they're pigeons? One of them's got a message on his right leg. What? Just took Manila. Signed do it. Oh, some kid must have put that message on for a gag. I still insist they're ducks, and we're going to have them for Thanksgiving. Uh-huh. Now, take them out of the ice box and dress them. I like the way you get here, boss. They're so full of buckshot, I can't lift them alone. Well, then ask Mr. Billingsley to help you. Where is he? He took the message, and he's flying to Washington. I'll say, stop him. Stop him. Oh, my goodness. And what happened? I'll be home soon, so hang up. Okay, so long, boss. So long. Oh, say Rochester, I've got good news for you. The next time we go duck hunting, you won't have to swim out for them. I'm buying a dog to do it. Thanks, boss. I was getting tired of chasing that ball anyway. I just did that to keep you in practice. Goodbye. Of course, if I buy a dog, I'll have to get a dog house and a license. Sing, Dennis. Then if he bites the mailman, I'll be in trouble. Go ahead, kid. I have to think that over. Peppered serenade sung by Dennis Day. Very good, Dennis, and quite a novel arrangement. Say, Phil, I noticed you put a harp in the orchestra for Dennis's number. And the harpist is the most attractive young lady. Yeah, she goes with my guitar player. Oh, the harpist in your guitar player. Is it serious? No, they're just stringing each other. It's a new look. Oh, Chris, he'll love. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our drama of the gridiron entitled We Can't Lose, or We Can't Eh, the scene is flat foot collards in the town of France. The first half has just ended in the annual game with Meatball Tech. And Coach Flashbenny is giving his team a pep talk in the locker room. Now listen, men, in this next half we've got to go out there and fight. You're playing like a bunch of jellyfish. You've been out there 30 minutes, and what's the score? I ask you, what's the score? Notre Dame 7, Northwestern 6. That's the trouble with you guys. You're not concentrating on this game. Now, I don't want that portable radio out in the field while we're playing. It's confusing. Well, I'm doing the best I can, Coach. Listen, Livy, all during the game you've been tackling Meatball's quarterback and slapping him in the face. What's the idea? That's Jim. The rat never sends me pretty flowers. Never mind the romance. Just stick to the game. You said it, Coach. And you, left guard, right guard, left tackle, right tackle and center. A fine game you've all been playing. None of your left will walk out, won't we fellas? You're darn right. Yes, you said it. You, Dave. Yes, Coach? Every time you get the ball, you're pulled down. Why don't you run? I keep tripping over the lace on my pants. You're wearing the wrong one. Now, look, men, we've still got a chance the game isn't over. All we got to do is get rolling. Why, the score is only, only... 65 to nothing. 65 to nothing? Hey, when did we get a nothing? We started with that. Now, come on, men. I'm going to play with this next half and show you something about football. We'll win this game. Or my name ain't. We are folks. The score is Meatball 65, flat foot nothing. And the second half is about to begin. Meatball is already on the field and here comes Flash, Benny and his flat foot team. Double, double. Hey, hey, hey. Best dessert in the USA. Flavor never goes away. Now, listen to those cheers, folks. There must be 18 people here today. There's more than that on the team. Oh, go shoot a pigeon. Those were ducks. Aren't that guy. Now, men, we got nothing to worry about. I'll call a signal. Day he'll carry the ball and crash through for a touchdown. Who, me? Yes, you. We're depending on you, Day. You're the best player on the team. That gives you an idea, folks. All right, men, let's go. Here we go, folks. Meatball's about to kick off. Flat foot's lining up to receive. And there's the whistle. Well, there's the boat, the Catalina. On your toes, man. Well, there's my boat, folks. So I'll now turn the microphone over to that famous sports announcer, Mr. Raymond Radcliffe. Thanks, Captain Hemwee. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is Raymond Radcliffe speaking. Oh, fine. I will now describe the worst period of this willing football classic. Quasi? Wefty landfill of meatball is making the kick. Where's plenty of flatfoot receives a ball on his own pretty odd wine and is nailed in his wax. I didn't make much gain that time, fellas. But how can I with a fur ball? You're too pay fell on it. Oh. All right, men, this time we'll pull our famous hidden ball play. You know how it goes the day? No, hum a little of it. It means that you carry the ball. Now, come on, men, line up. This is our chance. Signals. Hey, Wilson, pull in your left tackle a little. You're offside. All right, signals. Ralph Fram? Brick of French? Scrunch! Hey! It's a kawassu play. Where's plenty of grabs a ball and we waste it to Howard? No, it's to Wilson. Wilson waddles today. They grab the ball and look at that fellow once. Day is quashing through the wine. Look at him one. Look at him one. It looks like he's off for a touchdown. He's a seven yards from the goal. And what's this? He's tackled. Day is thrown on the three yard wine and he's knocked through it. Oh, that poor kid. Oh. Oh, my goodness. He's out cold. Look at him laying there. Day. Day, speak to me. Say something. Say something. Let's walk at me. Get the license number. Oh, for crying out wow play, Phil. Here's an unusual dessert, friends. It's unusually delicious. It's called Hawaiian Sunburst. And the grander looking, grander tasting dessert never decorated a table. Picture a brilliant mold of rich, red, raspberry jello surrounded in a sunburst effect by juicy wedges of golden Hawaiian pineapple. Sounds mighty good, doesn't it? And nothing could be easier to make. Simply dissolve a package of jello imitation raspberry flavor in one and one-half cups of hot water. Then add one-fourth teaspoon of salt and one-half cup of the juice from the canned pineapple slices. Chill in individual molds and in serving, circle each mold with a wedge-shaped piece of canned sliced pineapple. Now, most grocers are featuring canned pineapple and raspberry jello all next week. So get them both tomorrow and treat the family to this well distinctive dessert. Just remember to enjoy this dessert at its best. Be sure to use jello because only jello's new locked-in flavor gives you all the flavor always. This is the last number, I mean the last number of the seventh program in the current jello series. And we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Say, Mary, I'm having a big Thanksgiving dinner Thursday at my house. Would you like to join us? Who's coming? Well, there'll be Robert Taylor and Barbara Sandwick and Clark Gable and Carol Lombard, Mr. and Mrs. Henry Fonda and the Fred McMurray's and maybe Moe Lee. Him, you're sure of. Yeah. Good night, folks. You know how delicious how downright good jello is. Well, you'll feel just the same way about jello puddings. Three luscious creamy puddings that are made by the same people who make jello. There's jello butterscotch pudding, simply brimming over with the buttery brown sugar flavor of golden butterscotch, and just as smooth and rich as the homemade kind that grandma used to make. Yet how easy and inexpensive it is. Tomorrow, when you order jello, ask for jello puddings in all three flavors, chocolate, vanilla, and creamy golden butterscotch. Jello puddings are just like grandmas only more so. This is the red network of the national broadcasting company. K-F-I, Los Angeles.