 Hello and welcome. Now in this video I'll show you how to write a top level nine response to Jane Eyre Extract question Bear in mind that this model answer as well as other Jane Eyre model answers can be downloaded as part of this course So just follow the link sign up and download this straight away I'll begin by reading this passage which is taken from chapter five of the novel I'll then go over with you a model answer and show you why it would get a level nine So let's get started Now let's begin by reading through this extract Though I'd now extinguish my candle and was laid down in bed I could not sleep for thinking of his look when he paused in the avenue and told how his destiny had risen up before him and Dared him to be happy at Thornfield Why not I'd ask myself what alienates him from the house. Will he leave it again soon? Mrs. Fairfax said he seldom stayed here longer than a fortnight at a time and he has now been resident eight weeks If he does go the change will be dull for Suppose who should be absent spring, summer and autumn how joyless sunshine and fine days will seem I hardly know whether I'd slept or not after this musing at any rate I started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur peculiar legubris, which sounded I thought just above me. I Wish I had kept my candle burning. The night was dreary dark. My spirits were depressed I rose and sat up in bed listening. The sound was hushed. I Tried again to sleep but my heart beat anxiously. My inward tranquility was broken the clock far down in the hall struck, too Just then it seemed my chamber door was touched as a fingers had swept the panels in a Groping way along the dark gallery outside. I said who's there? Nothing answered. I was chilled with fear All at once I remembered it might be pilot who when the kitchen door chance to be left open not Unfrequently found his way up to the threshold of mr. Rochester's chamber. I Had seen him lying there myself in the mornings. The idea calmed me somewhat. I lay down Silence composes the nerves and as an unbroken hush now rained again through the whole house I began to feel the return of slumber, but it was not fated that I should sleep that night a Dream had scarcely approached my ear when it fled a fright had scared by a marrow freezing instant enough There was a demonic laugh low suppressed and deep uttered as it seemed at the very keyhole of my chamber door The head of my bed was near the door And I thought at first the goblin laughter Stood at my bedside or rather Crouched by my pillow, but I raised looked around and could see nothing while as I still gazed and the unnatural sound was Reiterated and I knew it came from behind the panels My first impulse was to rise and fasten the bolt my next again to cry out. Who's there? Something gurgled and moaned Erlong steps retreated up the gallery towards a third-story staircase a Door had lately been made to shut in that staircase. I heard it open and close and all was still Was that Grace Paul and a sheep is this with the devil thought I Impossible now to remain longer by myself. I must go to missus Fairfax I hurried on my frock and shawl. I would through the bolt and open the door with a trembling hand There was a candle burning just outside and on the matting in the gallery. I Was surprised at this circumstance But still more was I amazed to perceive the air quite dim as if filled by smoke and while looking to the right Hand and left to find whence these blue wreaths issued I became further aware of a strong smell of burning Something creaked it was a door a jar and that door was mr. Rochester's and the smoke rushed in a cloud from vents. I Thought no more of mrs. Fairfax. I thought no more of Grace Paul all the life in an instant. I was within the chamber Tongues of flame darted around the bed the curtains were on fire in the midst of blaze and vapor Mr. Rochester lay stretched motionless and deep sleep Wake wake. I cried. I shook him, but he only murmured and turned the smoke had stupefied him Not a moment could be lost the very sheets were kindling. I rushed to his basin and era Fortunately one was wide and the other deep and both were filled with water I heaped them up deluged the bed in its occupant flew back to my own room Brought to my own water jug but ties the couch afresh and by God's aid Succeeded in extinguishing the flames which are devouring it The hiss of the quenched element the breakage of a pitcher which I flung from my hand when I had emptied it and Above all the splash of the shower bath. I had liberally bestowed roused mr. Rochester at last Though it was now dark. I knew he was awake because I heard him Fulminating strange anathemas at finding himself lying in a pool of water Is there a flood he cried? No, sir. I answered but there has been a fire get up do your quench now. I will fetch your candle in The name of all elves and christened him. Is that Jane Eyre? He demanded What have you done with me witch sorceress? Who's in the room besides you? Have you plotted to drown me? I'll fetch your candle sir and in heaven's name get up. Somebody has plotted something you cannot too soon find out who and what it is There I'm up now, but at your peril you fetch your candle yet wait two minutes till I get into some dry garments And if any dry there be yes, here's my dressing gown now run. I did run. I brought the candle which still remain in the gallery He took it from my hand held it up and surveyed the bed all blackened and scorched as sheets drenched In the carpet rounded swimming in water What is it and who did it he asked? I Briefly related to him what had him transpired the strange laugh I'd heard in the gallery the stepper sending to the third story this smoke There's not a fire which had conducted me to his room in what state I've found matters there and how I Deludged him with all the water I could lay hands on Now the question asks for this paper In what ways does Bronte make this a dramatic moment in the novel now? Just to recap essentially what happens in this part of the novel is Jane Eyre Here's these animalistic laughs and she is unable to sleep and once she leaves her room She essentially finds that there's been a fire started and the main source of the fire is mr Rochester's room and of course here We can see that she saves his life and if you do read to the end of the novel We realize that this is Bertha Mason who had attempted to kill her husband. Okay, so now we've read this extract Let's look at how to answer a really top level nine Response when it comes to writing about how this point in the story is a dramatic moment in the novel Now before you begin answering this question I would always suggest when you look at the question Highlight the key words in the question in other words The main part of the question that you need to focus your answer on now I would suggest that the key words are really how this is what we call a dramatic moment in the novel So of course your answer needs to address these key words Now when it comes to writing the essay always remember you want to start with an introduction So you can see here the introductory paragraph and this is just generally you talking about and summarizing what may have happened in the Extract but equally justifying how this is a dramatic moment and also don't forget when you're answering a question Try to also finish with a conclusion But to be honest a conclusion and introduction in terms of wording can be very similar So let's look at the introduction to this question Bronte presents this moment as dramatic in the novel as this is the first major exchange that we see between Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester In this part of the novel Jane feels an intense fear which leads her to leave her room and discover a fire Mr. Rochester's room She's able to save Mr. Rochester However, he initially reacts violently towards her which shocks and surprises us as readers In this moment in the novel we as readers notice There's a sharp contrast between Jane Eyre's nature which is presented as angelic as she says his life Yet, Mr. Rochester's violent language which he accuses her of devilish deeds presents him as a sinner in need of saving Whilst Jane Eyre is depicted by Bronte in this extract as forgiving yet assertive Mr. Rochester is shown to be paranoid and fearful of the deceptive nature which he sees in women Hence he accuses Jane mistakenly This dramatic moment Activates and intrigues us as readers. So as you can see here I've mentioned that this is a dramatic moment in the novel I've even closed by talking about how this is dramatic because what you're doing here when you mention how it's dramatic You are indicating to your examiner or to your teacher who's looking at this essay that you're answering it directly Again as you can see here what I've began by doing in the introduction is quickly summarizing what Jane finds But what you don't want your introduction to be is just basically a long summary of what's happened in the extract Because you still want to talk about and link it to how we as readers feel and of course what I've then elaborated on is the two Contrasting reactions first see Jane. She is really quick to save Mr. Rochester. So in some ways, she's her his savior Whilst Mr. Rochester the way he's really paranoid maybe shows that he's hiding some kind of sin Okay, so really your introduction the main function of your introduction is to show in what way you agree with the question And you always agree with the question but also Summarizing and summing up what has happened and briefly alluding to how this makes us as readers feel But don't spend too long on your introduction because that's just the icing on the cake You want to go into the details in more specific information. Okay, so let's look at the first paragraph The opening of the extract begins by Jane sensing that something's amiss in her room Which creates a feeling of tension and anticipation in the novel Jane feels uneasy as she started wide awake on hearing a vague murmur peculiar Lagubrius and Brontë uses pathetic fallacy as she describes just how dark Jane's room is as she wished I had kept my candle burning. The night was really dark Brontë contrasts the imagery of light and darkness through Contrasting the candle with a dark night and this creates a sense of anticipation and dread within the reader Perhaps Brontë's contrast of these two opposing elements Symbolizes Jane as being a light as well as a savior to others However, it contrasts the darkness which mr. Rochester feels as well as his dark secret Which is his mad wife that he tries to hide away Moreover Brontë's use of onomatopoeia to describe a murmur as is an illusion to birther And this creates a sense of uncertainty and curiosity within the reader as they are yet to discover who birther is That's the murmur makes us as readers curious to discover the voice This opening is a dramatic opening as it creates a feeling of mystery as well as a terrible sense of foreboding within the reader Now here I would suggest that this opening paragraph is really really strong and I'll show you why So firstly always begin your answer by making a point point means that you're relating it directly Back to the question now. I'll give it a color code. Okay, so highlight point as yellow, okay? Then you then want to include your evidence. Okay, so put point then followed by evidence, which I'm going to give it a blue color Now here you then want to explain and this is essentially part of Analysis, okay? Now when you're analyzing, this is really where the bulk of marks come This is analysis essentially relates to the parts of the story that you're not told directly This is you kind of thinking okay if the author uses this language a case of course here I'm referring to specific use of language of candle and night from my evidence What does this mean this contrast as I've mentioned here in the analysis her being a light as well as a saviour in contrast To the darkness that mr. Rochester represents also actually part of my analysis here is language technique and This language technique that's you so I'm going to put this as part of pink is onomatopoeia Okay, so essentially Bronte uses onomatopoeia then of course you want to link this back to the question Which I'm going to put in green. Okay, so firstly just to recap you always want to make your point Linking it back to the question and talking about why this could be a really dramatic moment But also actually what I'm showing is I'm starting with Discussing some evidence from the opening of the extract. Okay, so I'm indicating to my examiner. Okay. I'm going to work through this I'm going to take something from the opening That therefore means of course my following paragraphs should be taken from the middle and then from the end Okay, then I follow with evidence directly. So as you can see here in blue Then I really start picking apart this evidence and analyzing it and this is which this is where I've highlighted it in pink So this is your Exponation your analysis. Okay, and of course part of the explanation analysis is thinking about reader's response And also another element of explanation analysis is talking about techniques as you can see here I've mentioned onomatopoeia Then you link this back to the question as as you can see here I've mentioned this idea of it being really dramatic. Okay, so hopefully you can see the keywords that I used here So let's look at the second paragraph The sense of drama increases as Jane hears what sounds like a devilish creature near her room She notices that there was a demonic laugh low suppress and deep and Brontë uses the rule of three to describe How the laugh sounds low suppress and deep Although at this point in the novel we as readers do not know that it is the laughter of birther We are terrified as the person who's laughing is described in animalistic terms Moreover the reference to the laugh as being devilish and demonic Is powerful as it heightens the sense of drama and increases the pace of the passage The atmosphere becomes intensely filled with tension and panic Which is reflected in Jane's actions as she crouched by my pillow, but I rose looked around and conceived nothing Brontë makes this moment powerful and dramatic as this presentation of birther as being animalistic An unrestrained contextually went against what was expected of Victorian women Contextually Victorian women were expected to be submissive and obedient towards the husband They were expected to be the angels of the house quite restrained and passive Yet birther who goes against this is used to portray Victorian fears of an unrestrained woman This moment is thus made dramatic as Brontë Uses this as a way to play up to Victorian fears of unrestrained women Who many men believed could ultimately become driven to madness if their passions were unrestrained Thus this depiction of birther even if we at this point in the novel do not quite notice her Is dramatic as it heightens our fears and we can see that Brontë depicts her as a savage being given she is possessed by her emotions Now as you can see this paragraph is much longer than this other one and hopefully you've picked up on why it's because of mentioned context Okay Now one thing to bear in mind is when it comes to something like context You don't have to mention it for every single paragraph. You only mention it where relevant But of course you do need to include contextual information Even if it's just one paragraph within your essay context again, really really dramatically boost your marks Now let's look at why this paragraph is also really really strong And also you will see that the structure is somewhat slightly different to this. Of course, you still have the point evidence Explanation which is part of analysis and then linking back However, this is kind of slightly different in this paragraph because firstly I start with my point So again, I'm going to highlight this in yellow Then I talk about some evidence. So I add my first set of evidence here. Okay Then I then start with a little bit of explanation. Okay, so I start explaining this to maniac loft So you're going to see here a little bit of explanation Then as part of my explanation, I kind of developed that a little bit more and talk about how this is affecting the atmosphere You're going to see this also here However, I then add another bit of evidence Okay, so you can see this point then evidence then a little bit of explanation Then a bit more of evidence just to strengthen my point Then more explanation now this explanation encompasses it adds The contextual point which is really really really important. Okay, so part of the explanation can include context as you can see here How this Part of the passage really goes against how victor and women were expected to be Then of course I have a really really long link back to the point Okay, or rather back to the question why thus this moment is really really dramatic So this thing is fairly long because I'm also trying to include it and relate it back to the point I've made About context. Okay, so as I mentioned context is very important. It's crucial You don't have to add context in every single paragraph as you can see this paragraph is really strong However, you do need to have at least one Context point in your essay if you're aiming for a level nine or at least a level eight. Okay So this is in the a grade territory You will not be hitting this level if you don't include context Of course, also as you can see I've talked about for instance, rule of three, which is a language technique And again, there's also lots of analysis relating to how this makes us feel. Okay So let's move on to the next paragraph As the extract progresses the passage becomes extremely dramatic when Jane discovers the fire mr. Watchester's room Bronte makes this moment in the novel dramatic through the reference of heaven and hell when Jane discovers the fire She watched the tongues of flames as they darted around the bed We can see that mr. Watchester is surrounded by fire as he lay motionless in deep sleep Bronte effectively uses the metaphor tongues of flames to connote the idea of hell consuming mr. Watchester's room Moreover, the personification darted creates explicit imagery of demons dancing around his room This personification reveals how swiftly the flame flames grow creating a terrible sense of destruction It indicates a sense of danger to the readers which makes this moment horrifying As we are worried that mr. Watchester may have already been killed by the flames of the fumes The hellish imagery that is used to describe the fire is powerful as contextually It connotes the religious idea of going to hell Victorians were highly religious and there was a christian perspective that sin always led to death and punishment in hell Where there was fire and broomstone This illustrates how mr. Watchester is symbolically shown as having committed sins Hence the hellish language reveals that he is being punished by god for his sinful past actions This indeed foreshadows the eventual burning of born filled hall by bertha later in the novel whereby mr. Rochester has punished for his sins of being unfaithful to bertha with his french mistress as well as attempting to marry jane He is punished with blindness as well as disability once thornfold is burnt down Hence this depiction of him being surrounded by flames illustrates the idea that he is filled with sin And he faces the risk of punishment from god for his sins Now again here this paragraph is really strong But also it's fairly lengthy because I've added another contextual point and this one is relating to religion Now as you can see here are open with a fairly long point Okay, usually my points have been just one sentence two sentences But as you can see here, it's three sentences And of course I'm mentioning this idea of how this is dramatic and as you can see here I've then added evidence. Okay, so two separate bits of evidence, which I'm going to highlight in blue Then I've explained and talked about techniques that Brontë uses and then linked this to Elsewhere in the story. Okay, and of course also I've linked it to context. Okay So as you can see here, there's a lot of analysis that I've done and as I mentioned I've used words like how this use of metaphor is really powerful the use of personification This is technique and this relates again. If you remember the question In what ways in other words how Brontë makes this dramatic moment Of course, you want to talk about the use of metaphor and personification to really heighten the sense of drama Then as you can see here, there's lots of context relating to Religion and how she Brontë cleverly uses this in order to show Mr Rochester maybe and even to foreshadow how the Thornfield Hall is burnt down and of course I've then linked it back to how this foreshadows Thornfield Hall eventually being burnt down Him being punished for his sins and we can see maybe as readers that perhaps Mr Rochester is not as blameless as we believe so then linked it back to the question and also linked it to Elsewhere in the novel Okay, you're not expected for this kind of extract question to talk too much about elsewhere in the novel But if you can you do get extra points for that. Okay, so as I mentioned this paragraph is fairly detailed There's lots relating to context. Also, there's links to elsewhere in the novel. However, all of this just Strengthens your response. Okay Let's look at the next part of the essay The dramatic moment reaches a climax when Jane says Mr Rochester's life and this moment appears extremely captivating to us as readers because in contrast to Mr Rochester who's presented a sinful Jane appears to be a pure messianic figure who attempts to save him She entered his room as baptized his couch and she extinguished the flames which were devouring it Moreover, she tells Mr Rochester in Heaven's name get up Bonnet uses language belonging to the semantic field of religion as a reference to how she baptized the room as well as her call to heaven illustrates Jane's purity as well as the key role she plays in the novel as a savior Jane is depicted as pure yet Mr. Rochester ironically calls her a sorceress illustrating how paranoid he is by darkness as he's sinful whilst she works to bring light and purity into his life Jane's saving of Mr. Rochester foreshadows how she eventually saves him from a life of mollancolly and depression at the end of the novel when she agrees to marry him Jane illustrates the theme of redemption as she teaches Mr. Rochester the Christian virtues of morality indeed the Christian morals overpowers his sense of darkness and loss Jane is used as a figure who teaches Mr. Rochester the importance of morality and virtue as well as importance of forgiveness hence she is used as an angelic figure who teaches him to embrace Christian purity and virtues this makes this moment incredibly dramatic for us as readers again hopefully you've noticed also with the different points I've also signed pasted you know for example with my first paragraph I've talked about the opening then I mentioned you know as the passage progresses then I mentioned again as the extract progresses now here I'll also open the point with referring to another part of the extract okay so I begin my point talking about how it reaches this climate the scariest part of it then I've added evidence here and again I've used two separate bits of evidence when she tells him to get up in heaven's name and also the flames a description of the flames that are devouring his room okay so you can see that here then of course I've talked about the semantic field of religion so this is a language point which is very important then as part of this I've analyzed it and talked about how there's some irony because even if Mr. Rochester calls her sorceress actually Jane Eyre is very very powerful in terms of showing these Christian virtues description ideals of morality and bonte illustrates this massive contrast between the two characters and of course I've linked it back to the question and hence also talked about why this is so dramatic but equally as you will notice I've talked about elsewhere in the novel talking about how the way Jane saves him from these flames foreshadows how she eventually saves him marries him even if he is disabled later on in the novel so let's look at the conclusion and as I mentioned conclusion you don't have to spend too much time on it however in a really strong essay it's always good practice to open with an introduction and to close but just closing the conclusion and closing your discussion now let's look at the conclusion to conclude Bronte's depiction of this major incident of Mr. Rochester's home Vaughnfield Hall as well as the relationship between Mr. Rochester and Jane Eyre makes this a dramatic moment in the novel this passage illustrates the idea of heaven and hell symbolized through both Mr. Rochester's sinful paranoid nature as opposed to Jane's pure forgiving ideals which enable her to save him this extract is powerful in illustrating the ideas that Victorians associated with virtue as it relates to women being angels of the house as well as the Christian virtue within both men and women Jane is used as a contrast to Bertha whilst Bertha is given over to her passions and desires which turn her into a mad and destructive person Jane's proximity to Christian virtues makes her an admirable character this incident signals a turning point in her relationship with Mr. Rochester whom she influences to become a better person that eventually atones for his sins okay so now as you can see here with the conclusion what I've done is really sum up what's happened and of course also summed up how Jane's character in the extract is used to contrast Mr. Rochester's character but equally how her character is used to contrast Bertha Mason's character she is the composite Victorian woman whilst Bertha Mason is shown as someone who didn't follow Victorian ideals that's probably why she went crazy and of course I've then linked it to how this extract is really dramatic in the novel so as I've mentioned before all of these notes can be downloaded as part of the course do you follow the link below in order to get access to this as well as lots of other model answers I hope you've learned something new and thank you so much for listening