 The Jack Benny program, presented by Lucky Strikes. Be happy called Lucky. Lucky's taste batter. Shew the most dramatic new evidence of cigarette quality ever presented by a cigarette manufacturer. Dramatic because it offers you facts. Authentic, verified, documented proof that Lucky Strike is the best made of the five principal brands of cigarettes. New because it's the best made of cigarettes. Made of the five principal brands of cigarettes. New because it sweeps away the smoke screen of claims made for other cigarettes. A month after month continuing study of the comparative quality of the five principal brands of cigarettes based on tests certified to be impartial, fair, and identical. And here's the result. By a wide margin, Lucky Strike is the best made of the five principal brands. Those are the facts, not claims. Facts, verified by Frolling and Robertson, leading laboratory consultants of Richmond, Virginia. They report, it is our conclusion that Lucky Strike is the best made of these five major brands. Signed, Frolling and Robertson. Yes friends, Lucky's are made better. Always so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. A big reason why Lucky's taste better. And everyone knows LSMFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. There's no substitute for fine tobacco. Don't let anybody tell you different. So friends, smoke the cigarette at the top, so five principal brands. The cigarette that combines fine tobacco and superior workmanship. The cigarette that tastes better. Lucky Strike. Many awards, plaques, and mementos, which he keeps in his trophy room. At the moment, Rochester is in there dusting them off. Key to the city of Walt Keegan is the key to the city of St. Joe's for making Charlie's. Don Wilson, get here yet? No, sir. Oh, Don, he was supposed to bring the sportsman quartet over early and let me hear the commercial. What's your hurry, boss? Well, I gotta leave. I've got an appointment with a music publisher about my song. You still got a lot of car... Well, why not, Rochester? It's a great song. And what a title. When you say I beg your pardon, then I'll come back to you. Don would hurry and get here. I gotta get to my song over to that music publisher before noon. Yeah, you bet. I'm just finished cleaning. Yes, sir. To me, while I was running east on Sunset, while I'm gone this afternoon... Coming! Never mind. That's Mr. Wilson. Hello, Jack. Oh, Mary. I was expecting Don Wilson. He was supposed to be here half an hour ago. Well, Don's probably having trouble with his car again. You know, it's always breaking down. Oh, something wrong with the motor? No, he just sits in it and keeps breaking down. Why don't you stop with those breaking down jokes and come on in, will you? So, I just thought I'd drop in. That's nice, Mary. I'm glad you did. And, Jack, I got a letter from Mama this morning. Oh, a letter from your mother, eh? Well, what does the Dagmar of Plainfield have? Just a short note to let you know we are all well and hope you are the same. Well... The weather here has been changeable. And last week, we had a thunderstorm. And lightning hit the barn. No damage except that the cow now gives Shama yogurt. You wouldn't recognize your father now as all his teeth are gone. But it's his own fault. I warned him never to fall asleep in the subway where there are pickpockets. You'd be more careful, Mary. His teeth and his pocket was because he bet on the giants and didn't feel like smiling. Well, DeRosha would be happy to meet your father. What a pair, lippy and gummy. Much for your father. Now, for a few words about your sister, Babe. Oh, boy, this is the part I live for. Get a load of this, Merck. Go ahead. She took that job this summer as a lifeguard because it resulted in her getting a steady boyfriend. He's a nice little fellow named Morton. And they started going out steady when Babe rescued him from drowning. He's kind of small, but you ought to see the one that got away. You didn't tell me she was a lifeguard. I didn't even know she could swim. Oh, certainly, Jack. Babe's a regular mermaid. Oh, yes. It's a shame the wrong half looks like a fish. Anymore news, Mary? Oh, nothing important. Oh, excuse me, boss, with a few appointments from the clock now. Huh? No, it isn't Rochester. You're fast. My watch says 10.30. Oh, mine says 10.45. Rochester dial UL-8900 and get the correct time, will you please? Yes, sir. Maybe we'll get a time signal. If that song is a hit, imagine what mine will do. Anyway, I'm not taking any chance on being late. If Don thinks I'm going to wait here for him and miss my appointment, he's crazy. I'm going to a music publisher to see if he'll publish my song. Oh, Jack, you'll never get anyone to publish that corny song of yours. Oh, yeah, I won't. He will just come along, Mary, and you'll see. Come on. Okay, my car's out in front. Well, good. Let's go. You know, Mary, the publisher's office is in Hollywood, so it won't make any sense. Oh, Jack, I didn't miss you. Well, it's about time you got here. Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, but on the way over here... Your car damaged much? I was walking. I promise you'll bring the quartet. Let me hear the commercial. Now, where are they? They should be here any minute, Jack. They told me they... Oh, honey, because I haven't got time to leave. If you want a state, you cannot be the lucky striker. And we'd better hurry or we'll be late. Yeah, so long, Don. So long. They're upstairs. What are you doing here, Phil? Oh, I just came to my doctor's office. Your doctor? Is there anything wrong? Yeah, I see the doctor and he examined me and said I had an ulcer. An ulcer? Is he a good doctor? I'm not sure. He said it was caused by something I ate. I see in my food. Like pepper, mustard, or ketchup. That's right. None of them compliments. That's crap. The bottle of milk isn't so bad. What does it taste like? Oh, try some and be surprised. For what? Well, Jack's seeing a music publisher. He thinks he's going to get that song of his published. Well, I think he's got a good chance. You see, Mary, you see? That's right, Mary. No one can tell where you're going to find a good tune. When I finished, I looked around at the leftovers and there was some ham ho... Oh, this is National Wine Week. We'd most like to crush in 1951. When the publisher hears my song, he'll be absolutely nuts about it. And you never can tell. It might even become... Hiya, bud. Huh? Oh. Where's the publishing company on? Before. You know, Mary, I've been so excited about getting down here, I forgot to eat and I'm hungry too. Well, there's a candy machine over there. Why don't you get a candy bar? I think I will. Let's see if I've got a nickel. Oh, here's one. See, they've got a lot of candy bars in this machine. They've got Hershey's, Love Nest, O'Henry, Lifesavers, Baby Ruth, and Milky Dip. I think I'll get that one. A Milky Dip. Hey, bud. Huh? Come here a minute. I think some candy. Not whether nothing runs like chocolate. I want a Milky Dip. I hasn't got a chance. Dip not only has chocolate on the outside, but it'll give you the trouble. It's hard to handle unless you whip it. Did she get a Hershey bar? Last performance? Yeah. Coming out of the machine, Hershey was boxed in by Lifesaver, but got through the hole. I'll get an almond joy. Why almond joy? Because in the package, there are two bars, and I can eat them as an entry. I think I'll, wait a minute, there's only half a nickel. Oh, no, it's bent. Hold my money so tight. They're all in the building. They all seem to be recording studios. I'll go in this one and require it. Call if he pulled the wrong one. I wouldn't care, but he took the one with the gold in my house. Why should we rehearse at your house? Well, my uncle is visiting us, and he thinks that I'm the star of the show. Oh, he does, huh? Well, let me tell you something. Oh, Mr. Benny, what's the difference? Where do you have rehearsal? Let me impress my uncle. Yes, Jack, what difference does it make? Well, all right, Dennis. We'll have rehearsal at your house tomorrow at 11 o'clock. Okay, and be there on time, kid. I'll see Mr. Kern. Oh, it was easy. Come on, let's go in. Good morning, and I was given an appointment to see Mr. Kern. Cole Porter. Porter is here. Yes, sir. And I want you to listen to it. Well, I happen to be very busy around, so please take your song someplace else. Well, if that's the way you feel about it, I certainly will. Come on, Irving. I mean, Mary, let's go. I used to listen to a song, and it eventually became the number one tune on the hit parade for 10 weeks. I don't want to make that same mistake. So, I'll listen to your song. Thank you. Come on, Mary, let's go over to the piano. I'll wait here by the door. When you say I beg your pardon, then I'll come back to you. Do you say, like the swallows at Serrano? Yes. Well, where in the name of downbeat is Serrano? Well, Serrano is a little town in Italy. Well, what Italy? Oh, for heaven's sake, everybody picks on that. Well, answer me, what are the swallows owning a swamp for 20 years, yelling, make one lousy trip to Italy? So, listen to the rest of this song. Leave the harvest moon, we'll pledge our love and new come back to whence we started. With your influence, you could get that melody on the hit parade, only on a good humor truck. That Lucky Strike is the leading laboratory consultants of Richmond, Virginia. They report, if this dramatic new evidence sweeps away the smoke screen of claims made for whenever you buy cigarettes, remember the facts. Remember, LSMFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Remember the quality of Lucky Strike. Remember Lucky's taste. Sure to keep tuned in on...