 Hey, Psych2Goers. Thank you for joining us again. Have you ever been gas-lipped before? How'd you feel? Chances are you felt like you were losing your mind. You might have been confused about events or things that the other person did. Manipulators use different tactics to get you to believe them and abandon truth and fact. In 1987, researchers defined the six most used tactics by manipulators as charm, giving the silent treatment, coercion, reason, regression, and debasement. Let's take a look at what these tactics are and some phrases that a manipulator may use to make you feel crazy. Number one. Oh, but you're so good at it. Think back to when you were a kid, when you were about to ask for something from a parent, but you knew you had to make sure they were in a good mood to get them to say yes. So what do you do? You start complimenting Wow mom, last night's dinner was really good and your hair looks amazing today. By the way, can I go over to my friend's house on Saturday? In this situation, it's innocent. In the context of a manipulator, they may ask you to do something that you don't want or feel comfortable doing, but when you resist the manipulator, they may tell you, oh, but you're so good at it to butter you up and get what they want. This is called charm and it may not always be sincere. This can make you second guess what actually happened and make you feel nuts. Number two, they say nothing at all. I think we're all pretty familiar with the silent treatment. This is a common manipulation tactic to punish the other person for not going along with them. Say you wake up on your birthday and your partner doesn't say anything. You might be upset that they didn't say anything about your birthday. In return, you might not answer any texts, calls, or speak with them until they wish you happy birthday. You may feel like you're getting even, but this is actually toxic. Think about the other person. They may be racking their brain, driving themselves crazy, trying to figure out what they did to upset you so much, only to come up with nothing. Next time you want to get this silent treatment, try the complete opposite. Take a moment to explain what the person did or didn't do that upset you. Number three, you better do it or else. Coercion is a fancy way of using threats, intimidation, or blackmail to get someone to do what you want. This unfortunately comes in many forms and can cause all types of stress. Let's say you have a friend who asks to copy off you so they can pass an exam. You feel really uncomfortable doing this, so you say no. Your friend is upset and says, you'd better let me copy off you or else I'll tell your parents you skipped school last week. This person is using coercion to convince you to let them copy your answers, even though you don't want to. In this situation, the manipulator may be bluffing just to get what they want. Trying to weigh the pros and cons of each option could make you feel like you're losing it and cause you to make a decision just to get it over with. Don't let them bully you. Make things happen on your terms. Number four, you should do it because manipulators live in details. We saw a lot of this in the Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard trial. When someone wants you to do what they want or believe them, they will tell you why you should do it and slap on a few details to make it believable. This manipulation tactic is called reason. Let's say it's your roommate's turn to take the garbage out, but they don't want to. They might say, I know it's my turn to take the garbage out, but I moved 57 boxes of paper at work today that each weighed around 40 to 50 pounds. I can't take the garbage out. Could you do it? Explaining why and adding the details can really paint a picture to convince you to go along with their idea. And this can really make you feel crazy or even like you're an awful person for not helping. If this happens to you, you can still be polite and empathize and hold your ground. Great job on dodging another manipulation tactic. Number five, you still haven't done it? Have you ever promised a young child something and forgotten about it? Of course not, because they don't ever let you forget. Try telling a kid that you'll take them for ice cream after school and not do it. They will let you know. Manipulators tend to do the same thing. They use regression, whining until what they want happens to speed up the process, almost like they're regressing back to their childhood phase. Say your partner asked you to fix the pantry door. You say you will, but you don't do so immediately. You might be reading when your partner says, Oh, I see you're reading. Did you finish fixing the door? Maybe you're playing your favorite video game when they say you still haven't fixed the door but you have time for video games? None and on they whine until finally you just do it to get them to stop. Now you begin thinking about how lazy of a person you must be and feeling out of your mind that you can't do anything right. Has your parent, friend, or partner ever done this to you? We suggest communication and letting them know your plan. This way they stop bringing it up. What are some of your strategies to stop regression? Share in the comments below. And number six, I'm too weak. I can't do it. Could you? The final manipulation tactic found is debasement. This is when the manipulator makes themselves look weak or lesser than they actually are to trick someone into doing something for them. A common scenario where debasement is used is when carrying heavy things. Let's say you went grocery shopping and someone has two full hands of groceries. They might start struggling or pretending to stumble. They know if anyone is watching, there's a good chance someone will help them. And if you know the person putting on this charade, you might feel confused and guilty. What if you're downplaying their struggle? You start to question your reality. Nope. You saw the truth. You're not responsible for their work. But if you'd like to help, but don't want to be burdened with the entire task. You can always offer to take a couple of bags for the person to make the trip easier. You avoid being manipulated into the whole task and they get some help. It's a win-win. Did you relate to any of these? Maybe you thought of someone in your life who uses them? These aren't all of the tactics that manipulators use. There are a lot more out there to make you feel equally crazy. But we hope this gave you a good idea of some manipulation tactics. If you feel like you're being manipulated, reach out to a trusted mental health professional or a friend to talk about the situation. You are important and have boundaries that deserve to be respected by everyone. If you found this video helpful, like and share it with friends that might find insight in it too. Remember to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more content. All the sources used are added in the description box below. Thanks for watching. Until next time.