 Induction of The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare Dramatis Personae Persons in the Induction A Lord Read by Bob Sherman Christopher Sly, a tinker Read by David Lawrence Hostess Read by Nero Ayur Page Read by Ariel Lipshaw Players Read by Elizabeth Klatt Huntsman Read by Glenn Simonson Read by Kathleen Watt Servants Read by Laurie-Ann Walden Read by Abigail Bartels Read by Michael Wolfe Read by Vaughan Oldman Baptista Minola, a rich gentleman of Padua Ernest Patinama Vincenzo, an old gentleman of Pisa Played by Mark Smith of Simpsville, South Carolina Lucenzo, son to Vincenzo, in love with Bianca Read by MB Petruccio, a gentleman of Verona Suttered to Caterina Read by Bologna Times Suttered to Bianca Read by the Rat King Cortenzo Read by Miriam Mr. Goldman Servants to Lucenzo Tranio Read by Elizabeth Klatt Bion Deldo Read by Matthew Ward Servants to Petruccio Grumio Read by Dennis Sayers Curtis Read by Greg Vestal Pedant Set up to personate Vincenzo Read by Tom Hackett Daughters to Baptista Caterina the Shrew Read by Christian Hughes Bianca Read by Musical Heart One Widow Read by Niru Ayur Taylor Read by Michael Wolfe Habit Asher Read by Laurie Ann Walden Servants attending on Baptista and Petruccio Read by Lucy Perry Read by Radia Read by Glenn Simonson Narrated by Abaii Seen Sometimes in Padua And sometimes in Petruccio's house in the country Induction Seen one Before an alehouse on a heath Enter hostess and sly I'll feed you in faith A pair of stocks, you rogue You're a baggage, the sly's are no rogues Look in the chronicles We came in with Richard Conqueror Therefore, Pachas Paul Ibaris Let the world slide Sessa You will not pay for the glasses you have burst? No, not a denier Go by, saint your enemy Go to thy cold bed and warm thee I know my remedy I must go fetch the third borough Exit Third or fourth or fifth borough I'll answer him by law Oh, not budging inch boy Let him come in kindly Lies down on the ground and falls asleep Horns winded Enter a lord from hunting With huntsmen and servants Huntsmen, I charge thee tender well, my hounds Bratch merriman the poor cur is embossed And couple clouder with a deep-mouthed bratch Sass down, not boy How silver made it good at the hedge corner In the coldest fault I would not lose the dog for twenty pound Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord He cried upon it at the nearest loss And twice today picked out the dull ascent Trust me, I take him for the better dog Thou art a fool! If Echo were his fleet, I would esteem him Worth a dozen such But sup them well And look unto them all Tomorrow I intend to hunt again I will, my lord What's here? One dead or drunk? See, doth he breathe? He breathes, my lord While he not warmed with ale This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly Oh monstrous beast, how like a swine he lies Grim death, how foul and loathsome is thine image Sirs, I will practice on this drunken man What think you if he were conveyed to bed Wrapped in sweet clothes Rings put upon his fingers A most delicious banquet by his bed And brave attendance near him when he wakes Would not the beggar then forget himself? Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose It would seem strange unto him when he waked Even as a flattering dream or worthless fancy Then take him up and manage well the jest Carry him gently to my fairest chamber And hang it round with all my wanton pictures Bomb his foul head in warm distillate waters And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet Percure me music ready when he wakes To make a dulcet at a heavenly sound And if he chants to speak be ready straight And with a low submissive reverence say What is it your honour will command? Let one attend him with a silver basin Full of rose water and bestrewed with flowers Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper And say, well to please your lord should cool your hands Someone be ready with a costly suit And ask him what apparel he will wear Another tell him of his hounds and horse And that his lady mourns at his disease Persuade him that he had been lunatic And when he says he is say that he dreams For he is nothing but a mighty lord This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs It will be pastime passing excellent If it be husband and with modesty My lord I warrant you we will play our part As he shall think by our true diligence He is no less than what we say he is Take him up gently and to bed with him And each one to his office when he wakes Sly is born out, a trumpet sounds Sira, go see what trumpet is that sounds Exit servant Be like some noble gentleman that means travelling some journey To repose him here Re-enter servant Oh now, who is it? And it please your honour, players that offer service to your lordship Bid them come near Enter players Now fellows, you are welcome We thank your honour Do you intend to stay with me tonight? So please your lordship to accept our duty With all my heart This fellow I remember Since once he played a farmer's eldest son To us where you wooed the gentle woman so well I have forgot your name But sure that part was aptly fitted And naturally performed I think it was Soto that your honour means It is very true, thou didst it excellent Well, you are come to me in happy time The rather for I have some sport in hand Where in your cunning can assist me much There is a lord who will hear you play tonight But I am doubtful of your modesty Lest over-eyeing of his odd behaviour For yet his honour never heard a play To break into some merry passion and so offend him For I tell you, sirs, if you should smile He grows impatient Fear not, my lord We can contain ourselves where he the various antique in the world Go, Sira, take them to the buttery And give them friendly welcome, everyone Let them want nothing that my house affords Exit one with the players Sira, go you to Bartholomew my page And see him dressed in all suits like a lady That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber And call him madame, do him obeisance Tell him for me as he will win my love He bear himself with honourable action Such as he hith observed in noble ladies unto their lords By them accomplished Such duty to the drunkard let him do With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy And say, what is your honour will command Wherein your lady and your humble wife May show her duty and make known her love And then with kind embracements Tempting kisses And with declining head into his bosom Bid him shed tears As being overjoyed to see her noble lord Restored to health Who for the seven years hath esteemed him No better than a poor and loathsome beggar And if the boy hath not a woman's gift To reign a shower of commanded tears An onion will do well for such a shift Which in a napkin being close conveyed Shall in spite enforce a watery eye See this dispatched with all the haste thou canst And on I'll give thee more instructions Exit servant I know the boy will well usurp the grace Voice, gait and action of a gentle woman For I long to hear him call the drunkard husband And how my men will stay themselves from laughter When they do homage to this simple peasant I'll inter-counsel them Happily my presence may well abate The over-marry spleen Which otherwise would grow into extremes Exeunt Scene two A bed-chamber in the lord's house Sly is discovered in a rich nightgown With attendance Some with apparel, basin, ewer And other appurtenances And lord dressed like a servant For God's sakes a pot of small ale Wilt please your lordship Drink a cup of sack Wilt please your honor Taste of these conserves What raiment will your honor wear today I am Christopher O. Sly Call me not honor nor lordship I near drank sack in my life And if you give me any conserves Give me conserves of beef Near asked me what raiment I'll wear For I have no more doublets and backs No more stockings and legs Nor more shoes and feet Nay, sometimes more feet than shoes Or such shoes as my toes Look through the over-leather Heaven cease this idle humor in your honor Oh, that a mighty man Of such descent, of such possessions And so high a steam should be Infused with so foul a spirit What? Would you make me mad? Am I not Christopher Sly, old Sly's son Of Burton Heath, by birth a peddler By education a card-maker By transmutation a bearherd And now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marion Hackett The fat ill life of Wincott If she know me not I am not fourteen pence on the score For sheer ale Score me up for the lyingest nave in Christendom What, am I not bestraught? Here's Oh, this it is that makes your lady mourn Oh, this is it that makes your old servant's droop Hence comes it that your kindred Shuns your house as beaten hence By your strange lunacy Oh noble lord, be think thee of thy birth Call home thy ancient thoughts And banish hence these abject lowly dreams Look how thy servants to attend on thee Each in his office ready at thy beck Wilt thou have music? Hark, Apollo plays And twenty caged nightingales do sing Music Or wilt thou sleep? We'll have thee to a couch Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed On purpose trimmed up for some merimus Say thou wilt walk? We will bestrew the ground Or wilt thou ride? Thy horses shall be trapped Their harness studded all with gold and pearl Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar Above the morning lark Or wilt thou hunt? Thy hounds shall make the wel can answer them And fetch shall echoes from the hollow earth Say thou wilt course Thy greyhounds are as swift as breathed stags I, fleeter than the roll Dost thou love pictures? We will fetch thee straight to Donus Painted by a running brook And Cypheria all in sedges hid Would seem to move and wanton with her breath Even as the waving sedges play with wind We'll show thee Iow as she was a maid And how she was beguiled and surprised As lively painted as the deed was done Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood Scratching her legs That one shall swear she bleeds And at that side shall sad Apollo weep So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn Thou art a lord and nothing but a lord Thou hast a lady far more beautiful Than any woman in this waning age And till the tears that she hath shed For thee like envious floods Or run her lovely face She was the fairest creature in the world And yet she is inferior to none Am I a lord, and have I such a lady? Or do I dream, or have I dream till now? I do not sleep, I see, I hear, I speak I smell sweet savers, and I feel soft things Upon my life I am a lord indeed And not a tinker, nor Christophero's sly Well, bring our lady hither to our sight And once again a pot of the smallest ale Wilt please your mightiness to wash your hands Servants present a ewer, basin, and napkin Oh, how we joy to see your wit restored Oh, that once more you knew but what you are These fifteen years you've been in a dream Or when you waked so waked as if you slept These fifteen years by my fay a goodly nap But did I never speak of all that time? Oh, yes, my lord, but very idle words For though you lay here in this goodly chamber Yet would you say you were beaten out of door And rail upon the hostess of the house And say you would present her at the leet Because she brought stone jugs and no sealed quartz Sometimes you would call out for Sicily hack it Aye, the woman's maid of the house Why, sir, you know no house, nor know such maid Nor know such men as you've reckoned up As Stephen Sly and old John Knapps of Greece And Peter Turf and Henry Pimpernel And twenty more such names in men as these Which never were, nor no man ever saw Now, word be thanked for my good amends Amen I thank thee, thou shall not lose by it Enter the page as a lady with attendance How fair is my noble lord? Mary, I fare well, for here it's cheer enough Where is my wife? Here, noble lord, what is thy will with her? Are you my wife, and will not call me a husband? My men should call me lord, I am your goodman My husband and my lord, my lord and husband I am your wife in all obedience I know it well, what must I call her? Madame Else, madame, or Joan, madame? Madame, and nothing else, so lords call ladies Madame, wife, they say that I have dreamed And slept above some fifteen year or more I, and the time seems thirty unto me Being all this time abandoned from your bed Tis much, servants, leave me and her alone Madame, undress you and come now to bed Thrice, noble lord, let me entreat of you To pardon me yet for a night or two Or if not so until the sun be set For your physicians have expressly charged In peril to incur your former malady That I should yet absent me from your bed I hope this reason stands for my excuse I, it stands so that I may hardly tarry so long But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again I will therefore tarry, and despite Of the flesh and the blood And to a servant Your honours players hearing your amendment Are come to play a pleasant comedy For so your doctors hold it very meat Seeing too much sadness hath congealed your blood And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy Therefore they thought it good you hear a play And frame your mind to mirth and merriment Which bars a thousand harms in Lenten's life Mary, I will, let them play it Is not a comedy a Christmas gambled Or a tumbling trick? No, my good lord, it is more pleasing stuff What, household stuff? It is a kind of history Well, we'll see it Come, madame wife, sit by my side And let the world slip We shall never be younger Act I Scene I Padua A public place Intelluciencio entranio Ah, tranio Since for the great desire I had To see fair Padua, nursery of arts I have arrived for fruitful lombardy The pleasant garden of great Italy And by my father's love And leave him armed with his good will And thy good company My trusty servant well approved in all Here let us breathe And happily institute a course of Learning and ingenious studies Pisa, renowned for grave citizens Gave me my being and my father first A merchant of great traffic through the world Vincentio, come of the bentivolia Vincentio's son brought up in Florence It shall become to serve all hopes conceived To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds And therefore, tranio, for the time I study Virtue and that part of philosophy Will I apply that treats of happiness By virtue specially to be achieved Tell me thy mind, for I have Pisa left And am to Padua come as he that leaves A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst Me perdonato, gentle master mine I am in all affected as yourself Glad that you thus continue your resolve To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy Only, good master, while we do admire This virtue and this moral discipline Let's be no stoics nor no stocks, I pray Or so'd vote to Aristotle's checks As Ovid be an outcast quite abjured Bulk logic with acquaintance that you have And practice rhetoric in your common talk Music and poisee used to quicken you The mathematics and the metaphysics fall to them As you find your stomach serves you No profit grows, where is no pleasure tain In brief, sir, study what you most affect Ah, grimersies, tranio, well thus thou advise If, beyond Dello, thou wilt come ashore We could at once put in readiness And take a lodging fit to entertain such friends As time in Padua shall beget But stay awhile, what company is this? Master, some show to welcome us to town Interpaptista, Caterina, Bianca, Gremio and Hortenzio Lucencio and Tranio stand aside Gentlemen, import you me no further For how I firmly am resolved you know That is, not to bestow my youngest daughter Before I have a husband for the elder If either of you both love Caterina Because I know you well and love you well Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure To court her, rather, she's too rough for me There, there, Hortenzio, will you any wife? Caterina, Tupaptista I pray you, sir, is it your will To make a stale of me amongst these mates? Mates made? How mean you that! No mates for you, unless you were of gentler, milder mold If faith, sir, you shall never need to fear I was it not half-way to her heart But if it were, doubt not, her care should be To comb your noddle with a three-legged stool And paint your face and use you like a fool From all such devils, good Lord deliver us And me too, good Lord Hushed master, here's some good pastime to ward That wench is stark mad or wonderful fro'ered But in the other silence do I see Mades' mild behaviour and sobriety a peace, Tranio Well said, master, mum, and gaze your fill Gentlemen, that I may soon make good what I have said Bianca, get you in And let it not displease thee, good Bianca For I will love thee nevertheless, my girl A pretty peat, it is best to put a finger in the eye And she knew why Sister, content you in my discontent Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe My books and instruments shall be my company On them to look and practice by myself Hark, Tranio! Thou mayst hear me nervous speak Senior Baptista, will you be so strange? Sorry am I that our good will affects Bianca's grief Why will you mute her up, Senior Baptista, for this fiend of hell And make her bear the penance for her tongue? Gentlemen, content ye, I am resolved Go in, Bianca Exit, Bianca And for I know she taketh most delight in music, instruments, and poetry School masters will I keep within my house fit to instruct her youth If you Hortensio or Senior Grimio, you know any such Prefer them hither, for to kind men I will be very kind And liberal to my own children in good bringing up And so, farewell, Katharina, you may stay For I have more to commune with Bianca Exit Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not What, shall I be appointed hours as though be like I knew not what to take and what to leave? Ha! Exit You may go to the devil's dam Your gifts are so good, here's none will hold you Their love is not so great, Hortensio But we may blow our nails together and fast it fairly out Our cake's dough on both sides Farewell, yet for the love I bear my sweet Bianca If I can, by any means, light on a fit man To teach her that wherein she delights I will wish him to her father So will I, Senior Grimio But a word I pray Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brute parlay Know now upon advice it toucheth us both That we may yet again have access to our fair mistress And be happy rivals in Bianca's love To labor and effect one thing specially What's that I pray? Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister A husband? A devil? I say a husband I say a devil Think is thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich Any man is so very a fool to be married to hell Touch, Grimio, though it pass your patience and mine To endure her loud alarm Why, man, there be good fellows in the world And a man could light on them would take her With all faults and money enough I cannot tell, but I had his leaf take her dowry With this condition to be whipped at the high cross Every morning You say there's small choice in rotten apples But come, since this bar in law makes us friends It shall be so far forth friendly maintained Till by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband We set his youngest free for a husband And then have to it afresh Sweet Bianca Happy man be his doll He that runs fastest gets the ring How say you, senior Grimio? I am agreed, and what I had given him The best torch in Padua to begin his wooing That would thoroughly woo her, wet her, and bed her And rid the house of her. Come on. Excerpt, Grimio, and her tension I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible That love should all of a sudden take such a hold? Oh, Traneo, till I found it to be true I never thought it possible or likely But see, while idly I stood looking on I found the effect of love in idleness And now in plain mist you confess to thee That art to me as secret and as dear As Anna to the Queen of Carthage was Traneo, I burn, I pine, I perish, Traneo If I achieve not this young, modest girl Counsel me, Traneo, for I know thou canst Assist me, Traneo, for I know thou wilt Master, it is no time to chide you now Affection is not rated from the heart If love have touched you, not remains But so, Redime, take captum Quam qui est minimo Ha, grim mercies lad, go forward This contents, the rest will comfort For thy counsel's sound Master, you looked so longly on the maid Perhaps you marked not what's the pith of all Oh, yes I saw, sweet beauty in her face Such as the daughter of Aginor had That Maegrid drove to humble him to her hand When with his knees he kissed the Cretan strand Saw you no more? Marked you not how her sister Began to scold and raise up such a storm That mortal ears might hardly endure the din? Traneo, I saw her coral lips to move And with her breath she did perfume the air Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her Nay then, it's time to stir him from his trance I pray, awake, sir If you love the maid, bend thoughts and wits To achieve her, thus it stands Her elder sister is so cursed and shrewd That till the father writ his hands of her, Master, your love must live a maid at home And therefore has he closely mewed her up Because she will not be annoyed with suitors Ah, Traneo, what a cruel father's he! But aren't thou not advised he took some care To get her cunning school-masters to instruct her? I marry am I, sir, and now it is plotted I have it, Traneo Master, for my hand both our inventions meet and jump in one Tell me thine first You will be school-master and undertake the teaching of the maid That's your device It is, maid be done Not possible For who shall bear your part and be in padua here Vincencio's son? Keep house and ply his book Welcome his friends Visit his countrymen and bank with them Basta! Content thee, for I have it in full We have not yet been seen in any house Nor can we be distinguished by our faces For man or master Then it follows thus Thou shalt be master, Traneo, in my stead Keep house and port and servants as I should I will some other be, some Florentine, some Neapolitan Or meaner man of Pisa Tis hatched and shall be so Traneo, at once, un-case thee Take my colored hat and cloak When Beondello comes he waits on thee But I will charm him first to keep his tongue They exchange habits So had you need In brief, sir, say that your pleasure is And I am tied to be obedient For so your father charged me at our parting Be serviceable to my son, quoth he Although I think it was in another sense I am content to be Lucentio Because so well I love Lucentio Traneo, be so, because Lucentio loves And let me be a slave to achieve that maid Whose sudden sight hath thralled my wounded eye Ah, here comes the rogue Enter Beondello Sirra, where have you been? Where have I been? Nay, how now? Where are you? Master, has my fellow Traneo stolen your clothes Or you stolen his, or both? Pray, what's the news? Sirra, come hither, tis no time to jest And therefore frame your manners to the time Your fellow Traneo here to save my life Puts my apparel and my countenance on And I, for my escape, have put on his For, in a quarrel, since I came ashore I killed the man, and fear I was described Wait you on here, my charge, you has become While I make way from hence to save my life You understand me? Aye, sir, now wit And not a jot of Traneo in your mouth Traneo has changed to Lucentio The better for him, would I were so too So could I, faith-boy, to have the next wish after That Lucentio indeed had Baptista's youngest daughter But Sirra, not for my sake, but your masters I advise you use your manners discreetly In all kinds of companies When I am alone, why, then I am Traneo But in all places else your master Lucentio Traneo, let's go One more thing rests That thyself execute To make one among these woors If thou ask me why, suffices my reasons Are both good and weighty Excellent, the presenters above speak My lord, you not, you do not mind the play Yes, by St. Anne I do A good matter surely Comes there any more of it? My lord has but begun To the very excellent piece of work My damn lady, which were done They sit and mark Scene two, Padua Before Hortensio's house Enter Petruccio and his men Grumio Verona, for a while, take my leave To see my friends in Padua But of all my best beloved and approved friend, Hortensio And I trow this is his house Here, Sirra, Grumio, knock, I say Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Where any man has refused your worship? Villain, I say, knock me here soundly Knock, you hear, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, That I should knock you here, sir? Villain, I say, knock me at this gate And wrap me well, or I'll knock your nape's paint My master is grown quarrelsome I should knock you first And then I know after Who comes by the worst? Will it not be? Faith, sirra, and you'll not knock I'll ring it, I'll try how you can So far and sing it He rings Grumio by the ears Help, masters, help My master is mad Now knock when I bid you, sirra, villain Enter Hortensio How now? What's the matter? My old friend Grumio And my good friend Petruccio How do you all at Verona? Señor Hortensio Come you to part the fray Cantuto el cuare bentrobato, may I say A la nostra casa benvenuto Molto honorato, señor mio Petruccio Rise, Grumio, rise We will compound this quarrel Nay, tis no matter, sir, what he ledges in Latin If this be not a lawful cause For me to leave his service Have looked you, sir, he bid me Knock him and wrap him soundly, sir Well, was it fit for a servant To use his master so? Being perhaps, for ought I see Two and thirty, a pip out Who would to God I had Well, knocked at first Then had not Grumio come by the worst A senseless villain, good Hortensio I bade the rascal knock upon your gate And could not get him for my heart to do it Knock at the gate, oh heavens Spake you not, these words, plain Sir, knock me here Wrap me here Knock me well And knock me soundly And come you now with Knocking at the gate Sir, be gone, or talk not, I advise you Petruccio, patience I am Grumio's pledge Why, this is a heavy chance, Twix, Tim and you Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio And tell me now, sweet friend What happy gale blows you to Padua here from old Verona Such wend as scatters young men through the world To seek their fortunes farther than at home Their small experience grows, but in a few Senior Hortensio, thus it stands with me Antonio, my father, is deceased And I have thrust myself into this maze Happily to wive and thrive as best I may Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home And so I am come abroad to see the world Petruccio, shall I then come roundly to thee And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife? Bouts thank me but a little for my counsel And yet I promise thee she shall be rich and very rich But thou art too much my friend, and I'll not wish thee to her Senior Hortensio, Twix such friends as we Few words suffice, and therefore, if thou know One rich enough to be Petruccio's wife As wealth is burden of my wooing dance Bishie as foul as was Florentius' love As old as Sibyl and as cursed and shrewd As Socrates' Xanthipe, or a worse She moves me not, or not removes at least Affections edge in me Where she is rough as are the swelling Adriatic seas I come to wive it wealthily and Padua If wealthily, then happily and Padua Nay, you sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet Or an aglit baby, or an old trot With nare a tooth in her head Though she has as many diseases as two and fifty horses Why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes with all Petruccio, since we are stepped thus far in I will continue that I broached in jest I can, Petruccio, help thee to a wife With wealth enough and young and beauteous Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman Her only fault, and that is false enough Is that she is intolerable Cursed and shrewd and forward So beyond all measure, that were my state Far worse than it is I would not wed her for a mine of gold Petruccio, peace, thou knows not gold's effect Tell me her father's name, and is enough For I will board her, though she chide As loud as thunder, when the clouds in autumn crack Her father is Baptista Minola An affable and courteous gentleman Her name is Catharina of Minola Renowned in Padua for her scolding tongue I know her father, though I know not her And he knew my deceased father well I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her And therefore let me be thus bold with you To give you over at this first encounter As you will accompany me, thither I pray you, sir, let him go while the humor lasts O my word, and she knew him as well as I do She would think scolding would do little good upon him She may perhaps call him half a score-naves, or so Why, that's nothing And he begin once he'll rail in his rope-trips I'll tell you what, sir He stand him but a little He will throw a figure in her face And so disfigure her with it That she shall have no more eyes To see with all than a cat You know him not, sir Tare, Patruchio, I must go with thee For in Baptista's keep my treasure is He half the jewel of my life in hold His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca And her withholds from me and other more Suits to her and rivals in my love Supposing it a thing impossible for those defects I have before rehearsed that ever Catherine will be wooed, therefore This order half Baptista tame That none shall have access unto Bianca Till Catherine the cursed have got a husband Catherine the cursed A title for a maid of all titles, the worst Now shall my friend Patruchio do me grace And offer me disguised in sober robes To old Baptista as a schoolteacher Well seen in music to instruct Bianca That so I may by this device at least Have leave in leisure to make love to her An unsuspected court her by herself Here's no navery, see To beguile the old folks How the young folks lay their heads together And Tagremio and Lucencio disguised With books under his arm Master, master, look about you Who goes there, ha? Peace, Groomio, to the rival of my love Patruchio, stand by a while A proper stripling and an amorous Oh, very well, I have perused the note Hark you, sir, I'll have them very fairly bound All books of love, see that any at hand And see you read no other lectures to her You understand me, over and besides In her Baptista's liberality I'll mend it with a largesse Take your papers, too, and let me have them Very well perfumed, for she is sweeter Than perfume itself to whom they go What will you read to her? Whatever I read to her, I'll plead for you As for my patron, stand you so assured As fervently as yourself, we're still in place Yay, and perhaps with more successful words Than you, and unless you were a scholar, sir Oh, this learning, what a thing it is Oh, this woodcock, what an ass it is Peace, Sera Groomio, ma'am, God save you, senor Grimio And you are well-nets, senor Hordencio Sure you wither I am going To Baptista Manola, I promise to inquire carefully About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca And by good fortune I have lighted well On this young man For learning and behavior fit for her turn Well-read in poetry and other books Good ones I warrant you Tis well, and I have met a gentleman Hath promised me to help me to another A fine musician to instruct our mistress So shall I, no wit be behind in duty To fair Bianca so beloved of me Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove Groomio, aside And that his bags shall prove Grimio, tis now no time to vent our love Listen to me, and if you speak me fair I'll tell you news indifferent good for either Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met Upon agreement from us to his liking Will undertake to woo cursed Catherine Yea, and to marry her if her dowry please So said, so done is well Hordencio, have you told him all her faults? I know she is an irksome brawling scold If that be all, masters, I hear no harm No, sayst me so, friend, what countryman? Born in Verona, old Antonio's son My father dead, my fortune lives for me And I do hope good days and long to see O, sir, such a life with such a wife were strange But if you have a stomach to it in God's name You shall have me assisting you in all But will you woo this wildcat? Will I live? Will he woo her? I, or I'll hang her Why came I hither but to that intent? Thank you, little den can daunt my ears Have I not in my time heard lions roar? Have I not heard the sea puffed up with winds Rage like an angry board chafed with sweat? Have I not heard great ordinance in the field And heaven's artillery thunder in the skies? Have I not in a pitched battle heard loud lorams Naying steeds and trumpets clang? And do you tell me of a woman's tongue That gives not half so great a blow to hear As will a chestnut and a farmer's fire? Tush, tush, fear-boys with bugs Grumio, aside For he fears none Hortensho hark, this gentleman has happily arrived, My mind presumes, for his own good and ours I promised we would be contributors And bear his charge of wooing what so ere And so we will, provided that he win her I would, I were, as sure, of a good dinner Enter Tranio, bravely apparels, and beyondello Gentlemen, God save you If I may be bold, tell me I beseech you Which is the readiest way to the house Of Signor Baptista Minola? He that has the two fair daughters, is he you mean? Even he, beyondello? Hark you, sir, you mean not her too Perhaps him and her, sir, what have you to do? Not her that chides, sir, at any hand I pray I love no chiders, sir, beyondello lets away Luchensio, aside Well begun, Tranio Sir, a word ere you go Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of? Yay or no? And if I be, sir, is it any offence? No, if without more words he will get you hence Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free For me as for you? But so is not she For what reason I beseech you? For this reason, if you'll know That she's the choice love of Signor Grimiel That she's the chosen of Signor Hortensio Softly, my masters, if you be gentlemen Do me this right, hear me with patience Baptista is a noble gentleman To whom my father is not all unknown And were his daughter fairer than she is She may more suitors have and me for one Fair Leda's daughter had a thousand wooers Then well one more may fair Bianca have And so she shall Luchensio shall make one Though Paris came in hope to speed alone What, this gentleman will out talk us all Sir, give him head, I know he'll prove it, Jade Hortensio, to what end are all these words? Sir, let me be so bold as to ask you Did you yet ever see Baptista's daughter? No, sir, but here I do that he hath to The one as famous for a scolding tongue As is the other for beauty's modesty Sir, sir, the first for me, let her go by Yay, leave that labor to great Hercules And let it be more than Alcides's twelve Sir, understand you this of me, ensuth The youngest daughter whom you harken for Her father keeps from all access of suitors And will not promise her to any man Until the elder sister first be wed The younger then is free and not before If it be so, sir, that you are the man Must stead us all and me amongst the rest And if you break the ice and do this feat Achieve the elder, set the younger free For our access, whose hap shall be to have her Will not so graceless be to be ingrate Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive And since you do profess to be a suitor You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman To whom we all rest generally beholding Sir, I shall not be slack, in sign whereof Please ye, we may contrive this afternoon To the carouses to our mistress' health And do as adversaries do in law Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends Ho-ho! Excellent motion! Fellows, let's be gone! The motion's good indeed, and be it so Petruchio, I shall be your benvenuto Excellent. End of Act I Act II of The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Act II Scene I, Padua A room in Baptista's house Enter Katharina and Bianca Good sister, wrong me not Nor wrong yourself to make a bond made in a slave of me That I disdain, but for these other gods Unbind my hands, I'll pull them off myself Ye, all my raiment to my petticoat Or what you will command me will I do So well I know my duty to my elders Of all thy suitors here, I charge thee tell Whom thou lovest best See thou disemble not Believe me, sister, of all the men alive I never yet beheld that special face Which I could fancy more than any other Minion thou liest, is it not Hortensio? If you affect him, sister, here I swear I'll plead for you myself, but you shall have him Oh, then be like you fancy riches more You'll have gremio to keep you fair Is it for him you do envy me so? Nay, then you jest, and now I well perceive You have begested with me all this while I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands If that be jest, then in the rest was so Strikes her, enter baptista Why, how now, Dame, whence grows this insolence Bianca stand aside, poor girl she weeps Go ply thy needle, meddle not with her For shame thou, hilding of a devilish spirit Why dost thou wrong her that it ne'er wrong thee? When did she cross thee with a bitter word? Her silence flouts me, and I'll be revenged Flies after Bianca What, in my sight? Bianca, get thee in Exit Bianca What, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see she is your treasure She must have a husband And I must dance barefoot on her wedding day And for all your love to her lead apes in hell Talk not to me, I will go sit and weep Till I can find occasion of revenge Exit Was ever, gentlemen, thus grieved as I But who comes here? Enter Gremio, with Lucencio in the habit of a mean man Petruchio, with Hortensio as a musician And Thranio, with Piondello bearing a loot and books Good morrow, neighbor baptista Good morrow, neighbor Gremio God save you, gentlemen And you, good sir, pray, have you not a daughter Called Catarina, fair and virtuous? I have a daughter, sir, called Catarina You are too blunt, go to it orderly You wrong me, senior Gremio Give me leave, I am a gentleman of errone, sir That, hearing of her beauty and her wit Her affability and bashful modesty Her wondrous qualities and mild behavior Am bold to show myself a forward guest Within your house, to make mine eyes the witness Of that report which I so oft have heard And for an entrance to my entertainment I do present you with a man of mine Presenting Hortensio Cunning in music and the mathematics To instruct her fully in those sciences Whereof I know she is not ignorant Except of him, or else you do me wrong His name is Licio, born in Mantua You're welcome, sir, and he for your good sake But for my daughter Catarina, this I know She is not for your turn, the more my grief I see you do not mean to part with her Or else you like not of my company Mistake me not, I speak but as I find Quinza, you sir, what may I call your name? Petruccio is my name, Antonio's son A man well known throughout all Italy I know him well, you are welcome for his sake Saving your tale, Petruccio, I pray Let us, that our poor petitioners, speak too Becari, you are marvelous forward Oh, pardon me, senor Gremio I would faint be doing I do not doubt it, sir, but you will curse your wooing Neighbor, this is a gift very grateful I am sure of it To express the like-kindness myself That have been more kindly beholding to you than any Freely give unto you this young scholar That has long been studying at Reims As cunning in Greek, Latin, and other languages As the other in music and mathematics His name is Cambio, pray except his service Presenting Lucencio A thousand thanks, senor Gremio Welcome good, Cambio Tutranio But, gentle sir, me things you walk like a stranger May I be so bold to know the course of your coming? Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own That being a stranger in this city here Do make myself a suitor to your daughter Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me In the preferment of the eldest sister This liberty is all that I request That upon knowledge of my parentage I may have welcome monks the rest that woo And free access and favour as the rest And toward the education of your daughters I here bestow a simple instrument And this small packet of Greek and Latin books If you accept them, then their worth is great Lucencio is your name of whence I pray Of Pisa, sir, son to Vincencio A mighty man of Pisa By report I know him well You are very welcome, sir To her tencio Take you the lute To Lucencio And you the set of books You shall go see your pupils presently Hola, within Enter a servant Sera, leave this gentleman to my two daughters And tell them both these are their tutors But them use them well Exit servant, with Hortensio, Lucencio and Biondello We will go walk a little in the orchard And then to dinner You are passing welcome And so I pray you all to think yourselves Signor Baptista My business asketh haste And every day I cannot come to woe You knew my father well And in him me Left solely heir to all his lands and goods Which I have bettered rather than decreased Then tell me, if I get your daughter's love What dowry shall I have with her to wife? After my death are the one half of my lands And in possession twenty thousand crowns And for that dowry I'll assure her Of her widowhood, be it that she survived me And all my lands and leases whatsoever Let specialties be therefore drawn between us That covenants may be kept on either hand I, when the special thing is well obtained That is her love, for that is all in all Why, that is nothing, for I tell you, Father I am as peremptory as she is proud-minded And where two raging fires meet together They do consume the thing that feeds their fury Though little fire grows great with little wind Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all So I to her, and so she yields to me For I am rough and woe, not like a babe Well missed, thou woe, and happy be thy speed But be thou armed for some unhappy words I, to the proof, as mountains are for winds That shake not, though they blow perpetually Re-enter Hottencio with his head broke How now, my friend, why dost thou look so pale? For fear, I promise you, if I look pale What, will my daughter prove a good musician? I think she'll sooner prove a soldier Iron may hold with her, but never loots Why, then thou canst turn our breaker to the loot? Why, no, for she hath broke the loot to me I did but tell her, she mistook her frets And bowed her hand to teach her fingering When, with the most impatient devilish spirit Frets, you call these quotes, she, I'll fume with them And with that word she struck me on the head And threw the instrument my paint made way And there I stood amazed for a while as on a pillory Looking through the loot, while she did call me Brassical fiddler and twangling jack With twenty such vile terms, as she has studied To misuse me so Now, by the world, it is a lusty wench I love her ten times more than ere I did Oh, how I longed to have some chat with her Baptista, to her tenzio? Well, go with me and be not so discomfited Proceed in practice with my younger daughter She's apt to learn and thankful for good terms Signor Petruccio, will you go with us Or shall I send my daughter Kate to you? I pray you do, I will attend her here Excellent Baptista, Gremio, Tranio and her tenzio And woo her with some spirit when she comes Say that she rail, why then I'll tell her plain She sings as sweetly as a nightingale Say that she frown, I'll say she looks as clear As morning roses newly washed with dew Say she be mute, and will not speak a word Then I'll commend her volubility And say she uttereth piercing eloquence If she do bid me pack, I'll give her thanks As though she bid me stay by her a week If she denied wed, I'll crave the day When I shall ask the bands, and when be married But here she comes, and now Petruccio speak Enter Caterina Good morrow, Kate, for that's your name I hear Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing They call me Catherine that do talk of me You lie in faith, for you are called plain Kate And bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the cursed But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom Kate of my Kate Hall My super dainty Kate, for dainty's are all Kate's And therefore Kate, take this of me Kate of my consolation Hearing thy mildness praised in every town Thy virtue spoke of, and thy beauty sounded Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs Myself am moved to woody for my wife Moved in good time Let him that moved you hither remove you hence I knew you at the first, you were immovable Why, what's immovable? A joint stool Thou's test, hit it Come, sit on me Asses are made to bear, and so are you Women are made to bear, and so are you No such jade as bear you, if me you mean Alas, good Kate, I will not burden thee For knowing thee to be but young and light Too light for such a swain as you to catch And yet as heavy as my weight should be Should be, should buzz Well, tain in like a buzzard Oh, slowing turtle, shall a buzzard take thee? Aye, for a turtle as he takes a buzzard Come, come, you wasp Faith, you are too angry If I be waspish best beware my sting My remedy is, then, to pluck it out Aye, if the fool could find it where it lies Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting In his tail In his tongue Whose tongue? Yours if you talk of tails, and so farewell What, with my tongue and your tail? Nay, come again Good Kate, I am a gentleman That I'll try Striking him I swear I'll cuff you if you strike again So may you lose your arms If you strike me, you are no gentleman And if no gentleman, why then no arms? A herald, Kate? No, put me in thy books What is your crest, a cock's cum? A comeless cock, so Kate will be my hen No cock of mine, you crow too like a craven Nay, come, Kate, come You must not look so sour It is my fashion when I see a crab Why, here's no crab, and therefore look not sour There is, there is Then show it to me Had I a glass, I would Watch, you mean my face Well, aimed of such a young one Now, by St. George, I am too young for you Yet you are withered Tis with cares I care not Nay, here you, Kate, in sooth you escape not so I chafe you if I tarry, let me go No, not a whit, I find you passing gentle Twas told me you were rough and coy and sullen And now I find report a very liar For thou art pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous But slow in speech, yet sweet as springtime flowers Thou canst not frown Thou canst not look ascance Nor bite the lip as angry winches will Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross and talk But thou with mildness entertained thy woors With gentle conference, soft and affable Why does the world report that Kate doth limp O slanderous world, Kate, like the hazel twig Thou straight and slender, and as brown in hue As hazelnuts and sweeter than the kernels O, let me see thee walk, thou dost not halt Go fool, in whom thou keeps'dt command Did ever Diane so become a grove As Kate this chamber with her princely gate O, be thou Diane and let her be Kate And then let Kate be chased and Diane sportful Where did you study all this goodly speech Ex tempore, from my mother wit A witty mother witless else her son Am I not wise? Yes, keep you warm Merry, so I mean, sweet Catherine, in thy bed And therefore setting all this chat aside Thus in plain terms your father hath consented That you shall be my wife, your dowry agreed on And will you, nil you, I will marry you Now Kate, I am a husband for your turn By this light whereby I see thy beauty Thy beauty that doth make me like thee well Thou must be married to no man but me For I am he and born to tame you, Kate And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate Conformable as other household Kate's Here comes your father, never make denial I must and will have Catherine to my wife Re enter baptista, gremio, entranio Now, Signor Petruccio, how speed you with my daughter? How about well, sir? How about well? It were impossible I should speed amiss Why, how now, daughter Catherine, in your dumps? Call you me daughter? Now I promise you you have showed a tender fatherly regard To wish me wed to one half lunatic A madcap ruffian and a swearing jack That thinks with oaths to face the matter out Father, tis thus Yourself and all the world that talked of her Have talked amiss of her If she be cursed it is for policy For she is not froward but modest as the dove She is not hot but temperate as the morn For patience she will prove a second gristle And Roman Lucrisi for her chastity And to conclude we have agreed so well together That upon Sunday is the wedding day She will see the hanged on Sunday first Hark, Petruccio, she says she'll see the hanged first Is this your speeding? Nay, then good night, our part Be patient, gentlemen, I choose her for myself If she and I be pleased, what's that to you? Tis bargain-twixed as Twain, being alone That she shall still be cursed and company I tell you, tis incredible to believe How much she loves me The kindest Kate, she hung about my neck And kiss on kiss she vied so fast Protesting oath on oath that in a twink She won me to her love Oh, you are novices, tis a world to see How tame when men and women are alone A meacock wretch can make the cursed shrew Give me thy hand, Kate, I will unto Venice To buy apparel against the wedding day Let the feast, Father, and bid the guests I will be sure my Catherine shall be fine I know not what to say, but give me your hands God send you joy, Petruccio, tis a match Our men say we, we will be witnesses Father and wife and gentlemen, edu I will to Venice, Sunday comes a pace We will have rings and things and fine array And kiss me, Kate, we will be married a Sunday Excellent Petruccio and Catherine, severally Was ever a match clapped up so suddenly Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant's part And venture madly on a desperate mut T'was a commodity lay fretting by you T'will bring you gain or perish on the seas The gain I seek is quiet in the match No doubt, but he have got a quiet catch A patista to your younger daughter Now is the day we long have looked for I am your neighbour and was suitor first And I am one that love Bianca more Than words can witness or your thoughts can guess Youngling thou canst not love so dear as I Greybeard, thy love doth freeze But thine doth fry, skipper stand back Tis age that nourisheth But youth in lady's eyes that flourisheth Content you gentlemen, I'll compound this drive Tis deeds must win the prize, and he of both That can assure my daughter greatest dower Shall have my Bianca's love Say, Signor Grimio, what can you assure her? First, as you know, my house within the city Is richly furnished with plate and gold Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands My hangings all of Tyrion tapestry In ivory coffers I have stuffed my crowns In Cyprus chests my Arras counterpoints Costly apparel, tents and canopies Find linen's turkey cushions bossed with pearl Valance of Venice gold and needlework Pewter and brass and all things that belong To house or housekeeping Then at my farm I have six hundred milk kind To the pale, six score fat oxen standing in My stalls and all things answerable to this portion Myself am stuck in years, I must confess And if I die tomorrow this is hers If whilst I live she will be only mine That only came well in Sir, list to me I am my father's heir and only son If I may have your daughter to my wife I'll leave her houses three or four as good Within rich peas as walls as any one old Signor Grimio has in Padua Besides two thousand ducats by the year Of fruitful land all which shall be her jointure What, have I pinched you, Signor Grimio? Two thousand ducats by year of land My land amounts not to so much in all that she shall have Besides an argosy that now lies in Marseilles road What, have I choked you with an argosy? Grimio, to his known my father, Hath no less than three great argosies Besides two galleuses and twelve tight galleys These I will assure her and twice as much What ere thou offers next? Nay, I have offered all, I have no more And she can have no more than all I have If you like me, she shall have me and mine Why, then, the maid is mine From all the world by your firm promise Grimio is out-vide I must confess your offer is the best And let your father make her the assurance She is your own, else you must pardon me If you should die before him wears her dower That's but a cavil, he is old, I young And may not young men die as well as old Dear gentlemen, I am thus resolved On Sunday next, you know, my daughter Catherine is to be married Now, on the Sunday following, shall Bianca be bride to you If you make this assurance, if not to see your Grimio And so I take my leave, and thank you both Adieu, good neighbour Exit Baptista Now, I fear thee not, sir, a young game-ster Your father were a fool to give thee all Any age set foot under thy table Tut, a toy! An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy Exit A vengeance on your crafty, withered hide Yet I have faced it with a card of ten It is in my head to do my master good I see no reason but suppose D'lucencio must get a father Called Supposed Vincencio And that's a wonder Fathers commonly do get their children But in this case of wooing, a child shall get a sire If I fail not of my cunning Exit End of Act II Act III of The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer Please visit LibriVox.org Act III Scene I Padua, a room in Baptista's house Intellucencio, Hortensio, and Bianca Fiddler for bear! You've grown too forward, sir Have you so soon forgot the entertainment Her sister Catherine welcomed you with all? But wrangling pedant This is the patroness of heavenly harmony Then give me leave to have prerogative And when in music we have spent an hour Your lecture shall have leisure for as much Preposterous ass That never read so far to know the cause Why music was ordained Was it not to refresh the mind of man After his studies or his usual pain Then give me leave to read philosophy And while I pause Serve in your harmony Sirah, I will not bear these braves of vine Why, gentlemen, you do me double wrong To strive for that which rested in my choice I am no breaching scholar in the schools I'll not be tied to hours nor appointed times But learn my lessons as I please myself And to cut off all strife here, sit we down Take you your instrument, play you the wiles His lecture will be done ere you have tuned You'll leave his lecture when I am in tune? Retires That will be never tuned your instrument Where left we last? Here, madam. Hik ibad simoiz Hik est sigea telus Hik staed herat priam iragia calsa senes Construe them. Hik ibad, as I told you before, simoiz I am lucentio. Hik est son unto vincentio pizza Sigea telus, disguise it thus to get your love Hik staed herat, and that lucentio that comes a-wooing Priami is my man, tronio, regia, bearing my port Calsa senes, that we might beguile the old pantaloon Hortensio, returning Madam, my instruments in tune Let's hear Hortensio plays Oh five, the treble jars Spittin' the whole man in tune again Now, let me see if I can construe it Hik ibad simoiz I know you not Hik est sigea telus I trust you not Hik staed herat priam iragia calsa senes Take yeady, hear us not Regia, presume not Calsa senes, despair not Madam, tis now in tune How but the bass The bass is right, tis the bass-nave that jars How fiery and forward our pedant is Aside In my life, the knave doth court my love Perviscule, I'll watch you better yet In time I may believe, yet I mistrust Mistrust it not, for sure The assidies was Ajax, caled so from his grandfather I must believe my master, else I promise you I should be arguing still upon that doubt But let it rest Now, litchio, to you Master, take it not unkindly pray That I have been thus pleasant with you both Hortensio, tulucensio You may go walk and leave me a while My lessons make no music in three parts How are you so formal, sir? Aside Well, I must wait And watch with all For but I be deceived our fine musician Groweth amorous Madam, before you touch the instrument To learn the order of my fingering I must begin with rudiments of art To teach you gamet in a briefer sort More pleasant, pithy, ineffectual Than hath been taught by any of my trade And there it is in writing, fairly drawn Why, I am past my gamet long ago Yet read the gamet of Hortensio Gamet I am the ground of all accord A. Ray To plead Hortensio's passion B. me Bianca, take him for thy lord C. fa ut That loves with all affection D. sol re One clef, two notes have I E. la me Show pithy or I die Call you this gamet Tut, I like it not Old fashions please me best I am not so nice to change true rules For odd inventions Enter a servant Mistress, your father prays you leave your books And help to dress your sister's chamber up You know tomorrow is the wedding day Farewell, sweet masters both I must be gone Exeunt, Bianca, and servant Faith, mistress, that I have no cause to stay Exit But I have caused a pry into this pedant To be thinks he looks as though he were in love Yet if thy thoughts, Bianca, be so humble To cast thy wandering eyes on every stale Seize thee that list If once I find thee ranging Hortensio will be quit with thee By changing Exit Scene two The same Before Baptista's house Enter Baptista, Gremio, Tranio, Caterina, Bianca, Luchensio, and the tendons Baptista, Tutranio Signora Luchensio, this is the point today That Catherine and Petruchio shall be married And yet we hear not of our son-in-law What will be said? What mockery will it be To want a bright room when the priest attends To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage? What says Luchensio to this? Shame of ours No shame but mine I must, forsooth, be forced to give my hand Opposed against my heart Unto a mad brain rude's bee Full of spleen, who wooed in haste And means to wed at leisure I told you, I, he was a frantic fool Hiding his bitter jests and blunt behaviour And to be noted for a merry man He'll woo a thousand, point the day of marriage Make friends invited and proclaim the bands Yet never means to wed where he hath wooed Now must the world point at poor Catherine And say, Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife If it would please him come and marry her Patience, good Catherine, and Baptista, too Upon my life Petruchio means but well Whatever fortune stays him from his word Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise Though he be merry, yet with all he's honest Would Catherine had never seen him, though Exits, weeping, followed by Bianca and others Go, girl, I cannot blame thee now to weep For such an injury would vex a very saint Much more a shoe of thy impatient humour Enter Piondello Master, master, news, all news And such news as you never heard of Is it new and old, too? How may that be? Why is it not news to hear of Petruchio's coming? Is he come? Why, no, sir What them? He is coming When will he be here? When he stands where I am and sees you there But say, what to thine old news? Why, Petruchio is coming In a new hat and an old jerkin A pair of old breeches thrice turned A pair of boots that have been candle cases One buckled, another laced An old rusty sword tamed out of the town armoury With a broken hilt and shapeless With two broken points His horse hipped with an old mothy saddle And stirrups of no kindred Besides possessed with the glanders and like To mose in the chine Troubled with the lampers infected with the fashions Full of wingles sped with spavons Raid with the yellows Passed cure of the fives Stark spoiled with the staggers Known with the bots, swayed in the back and shoulder-shotten Near-legged before and with a half-checked bit And a headstall of sheep's leather Which, being restrained to keep him from stumbling Hath been often burst and now repaired with knots One girth six times pierced And a woman's cropper of velour Which hath two letters for her name Fairly set down in studs And here and there pierced with pack-thread Who comes with him? Sir, he's lackey For all the world comparisons like the horse With a linen stock on one leg And a cursey boot-hose on the other Gartered with a red-and-blue list An old hat and the humour Of forty fancies pricked Int for a feather, a monster A very monster and apparel and not like A Christian footboy or a gentleman's lackey It is some odd humour Pricks him to this fashion Yet often times lie-goes But mean apparelled How swear he comes Why, sir, he comes not Didstall not say he comes Who? That Petruchio came Aye, that Petruchio came No, sir, I say his horse comes With him on his back Why, that's all one Nay, by St. Jamie, I hold you a penny A horse and a man is more than one And yet not many Enter Petruchio and Grumio Come, where be these gallants? Who is at home? You are welcome, sir And yet I come not well And yet you hold not Not so well apparel'd as I wish you were Were it better, I should rush in thus But where is Kate? Where is my lovely bride? How does my father And wherefore gaze this goodly company As if they saw some wondrous monument Some comet or unusual prodigy? Why, sir, you know this is your wedding day First were we sad, fearing you would not come Now sadder that you come So unprovided Fie, doth this habit Shame to your estate An eyesore to our solemn festival And tell us what occasion of import Have also long detained you from your wife And sent you hithers so unlike yourself Pidious it were to tell And harsh to hear Suffice it, I am come'd to keep my word Though in some part Enforced to digress Which at more leisure I will so excuse As you shall well be Satisfied with all But where is Kate? I stay too long from her The morning wears to his time We were at church See not your bride in these Unreverent robes Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine Not I, believe me, thus I'll visit her But thus I trust you will not marry her Good sooth, even thus Therefore I'd done with words To me she's married Not unto my clothes Could I repair what she will wear In me, as I can change These poor accoutrements To her well for Kate and better for myself But what a fool am I To chat with you, when I should Bed good morrow to my bride And seal the title with a lovely kiss Exceint Petruccio Grumio En piondello He hath some meaning in his mad attire We will persuade him Be it possible to put on better He go to church I'll after him and see the event of this Exceint Baptista Grumio And the tendons But to her love concerneth us To add her father's liking Which to bring to pass, as I before Imparted to your worship I am to get a man What dare he be, its skills not much Will fit him to our turn And he shall be Vincencio of Pisa And make assurance here in Padua Of greater sums than I have promised So shall you quietly enjoy Your hope and marry sweet Bianca With consent Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly To a good me things to steal our marriage Which once performed Let all the world say no I'll keep mine own Despite of all the world That by degrees we mean to look into And watch our vantage In this business We'll overreach the graveyard Grumio The narrow, prying father Minola, the quaint musician Amorous Licio All for my master's sake Lucencio Rienta Gremio Señor Gremio came you from the church As willingly as ere I came from school And is the bride in bridegroom coming home? A bridegroom say you Tis a groom indeed A grumbling groom And that the girl shall find Curster than she, why tis impossible Why, he's a devil, a devil A very fiend Why, she's a devil, a devil The devil's damn Tut, she's a lamb, a dove, a fool damn I'll tell you, sir Lucencio When the priest should ask if Catherine should be his wife I, by Gog's wounds, Quothee, and swore so loud That all amazed the priest let fall the book And as he stooped again to take it up The mad, brained bridegroom Took him such a cuff That down fell the priest in book Now take them up, Quothee, if any list What said the wench when he rose again? Trembled and shook For why he'd stamped and swore As if the vicar meant to cozen him But after many ceremonies done He calls for wine, a health, Quothee As if he had been abroad Corousing to his mates after a storm Coffed off the muskadel And threw the sops all in the sexton's face Having no other reason but that His beard grew thin and hungrily As soft as he was drinking This done he took the bride about the neck And kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack That at the parting all the church did echo And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame And after me I know the route is coming Such a mad marriage never was before Hark, hark, I hear the minstrel's play Enter Petruccio, Catherine, Bianca, Baptista, Hortensio, Grumio, and Trane Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains I know you think to dine with me today And have prepared great store of wedding cheer But so it is, my haste doth call me hence And therefore here I mean to take my leave Is it possible you will away to-night? I must away to-day before night come Make it no wonder, if you knew my business You would entreat me rather go than stay And, honest company, I thank you all That have beheld me give away myself To this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife Dine with my father, drink a health to me For I must hence and farewell to you all Let us entreat you stay till after dinner It may not be Let me entreat you It cannot be Let me entreat you I am content Are you content to stay? I am content you shall entreat me stay But yet not stay Entreat me how you can Now, if you love me, stay Grow me on my horse Aye, sir, they be ready The oats have eaten the horses Nay, then, do what thou canst I will not go to-day No, nor to-morrow Not till I please myself The door is open, sir, there lies your way You may be jogging while your boots are green For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself It is like you'll prove a jolly, surly groom That take it on you at the first, so roundly Oh, Kate, content thee Prithee, be not angry I will be angry, what hast thou to do? Father be quiet, he shall stay my leisure Aye, merry, sir, now it begins to work Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner I see a woman may be made a fool If she had not a spirit to resist They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command Obey the bride, you that attend on her Go to the feast, revel and domineer Carouse full measure to her maiden-head Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves But for my bonny Kate, she must with me Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret I will be master of what is mine own She is my goods, my chattels, she is my house My household stuff, my field, my barn My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything And here she stands, touch her, whoever dare I'll bring mine action on the proudest he That stops my way in Padua Grumio, draw forth thy weapon We are beset with thieves Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch thee, Kate I'll buckler thee against a million Excellent Petruccio, Caterina and Grumio Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones When they not quickly, I should die with laughing Of all mad matches, never was the like Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister? Being mad herself, she's madly mated I warrant him, Petruccio is catered Neighbors and friends, though bride and bridegroom Wants for to supply the places at the table You know there once no junk at set feast Lutencio, you shall supply the bridegroom's place And let Bianca take her sister's room Shall, sweet Bianca, practice how to bride it? She shall, Lutencio Come, gentlemen, let's go Excellent End of Act 3