 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan Astley of Jonathan Astley calm And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic. Does he like me? or Or does he just treat me as a friend? So really quickly if you're new to my youtube channel, please hit the subscribe button and hit the bell So you can be notified of new content. I shoot about three or four videos per week All right. All right our topic. Does he like me or are we just friends? All right, I think this is a really important conversation to have and I want to kind of okay So my demographics if you're watching me is mostly what I call midlife If it's after baby making years and before retirement So for those of you that are between 42 and 69, that's why I typically speak to you because the younger demographic is a lot different Especially the 20 and even the 30 year olds, you know when I think of 20 year olds How did I show someone? I liked them, you know, like I had pet names for them and I'm always trying to monopolize their time I'm very effusive and very forward in the relationship Okay, and that's how we are when we're younger. We've got that, you know beginner's mind. We've got that You know that open receptiveness Except as we get older this becomes more challenging and this becomes more challenging especially for those of us Who have been married before and have children and come to the table with a lot of stuff So how do you really know if someone likes you? How do you know if you're something more than just a friend? I'm not even sure if it's a friend that I really want to lean into but we'll we'll get to that in a second You know, I know a lot of coaches will tell you a man should claim you and a man who knows what he wants He goes after what he wants But that's because and I'm gonna I pulled up a pie graph pie chart here I want you to look at this for a second. You see the 10% the 40% and the 50% okay, 10% 40% 50% So I just want to say 50% of the male population or actually female population as well is Probably incapable of being in relationship. They have significant childhood wounds and traumas that have been unhealed Make some very difficult or practically incapable of being in relationship Well makes them capable of being relationship, but are they really in an emotionally good place to be in a relationship? Do they have a level of emotional maturity and for half the population? That's no. I'm just gonna be blunt That's the way I view it and then there's that 10% that you all covet. That's the guy who knows what he wants He's very crystal clear. He's healed childhood wounds and traumas. He's in a good place in his life Okay, then there's the other 40% that are struggling, but they actually are capable of being in a good relationship So I know you ladies all want to covet that 10% But the reality is is there's a hundred of you trying to shoot for the tent and quite frankly I believe that pie chart works in for women as well. I think there's the 10% or I think the 40% that struggle And then there's the 50% incapable and you know how I know this Look at couples therapy. Have you ever witnessed couples therapy? I know I've done couples therapy But I've watched I watched an interesting show that was a hidden camera on couples therapy And you can see how couples struggle connecting with one another Because most of us haven't built the tools Haven't been given the tools to be in a healthy happy relationship But this is detracting from what I'm getting at because this is gonna shift the conversation right now How do you know if he likes you? And what I mean is he's into you. He's willing to invest in this relationship Well, here's a really good clue because this is all about your intuition is If you have to analyze the relationship There's already a problem if you have to analyze the relationship There's already a problem because most of those people that are in great relationships that have experienced a great relationship The woman never doubted the relationship if you're doubting something that's already a clue now I'm a big proponent of learning and I've talked about this book frequently the untethered soul by Michael Singer the untethered soul by Michael Singer But this helps you integrate your intuition But I want to introduce you to even more powerful book to help you because how do you know someone likes you? It's a feeling you already feel it you already you can you can sense it you're not doubting it But some of you have a lot of muck in your head So I want you to check out this book by Joe dispenser called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself This really helps to clear up the muck that's causing the confusion within yourself because many of you are just It's an inner issue of confusion and you can't feel into Whether or not this person is right for you because your intuition is off kilter Now that's most likely because you haven't loved on yourself as well. This is why I talk about my book all the time What the heck is self love anyway? What the heck is self love anyway? By the way, there's a link to all the books below in the Jonathan recommends or my book You can go to self love the book calm to get what the heck is self love anyway because this is how you're going to shift Your energy because this isn't about I can give you 15 clues that he likes you But liking you isn't really leaning into a healthy happy relationship It's about being solid in your sovereignty being solid in your self-worth your self-confidence self-esteem That's how you're going to know If someone is really into you and here's the thing if he's in that 40% or that's struggling, right? He's in that for because that 50% is you know, he's going to run away the minute you share your feelings with someone That's the 50% or but that 40% or is going to lean in and here's the thing. How do you know he's into you? If you want to progress the relationship more you're he's open to reading the books I'm recommending and if you watch any of my videos, I recommend a lot of books including eight dates by Dr. John Gottman a Guy who's into you is going to want to do the work To build a successful relationship together because again most people haven't been given the skills But when you introduce this he's more apt Because he's into you and a guy who's not is going to be dismissive. He's going to say we don't need this You know, he's going to be passive. That's not the guy you want That you want the guy that leans into the relationship Leans into wanting to build the relationship together and this book eight dates is a fantastic way of vetting a guy By this book the link is below Definitely by the book breaking the habit of being yourself. All right, you got the gist of where I'm going This is all about you Loving on yourself breaking that old habit Tell me if you have made a shift in your life by watching my videos Please post a comment below. Tell me what you think of this video. I want to hear your thoughts Please post a question as well. All right, and if you find value in the work I do check out my link to schedule a free discovery call to see if working with the coach is right for you All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of Self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are great source of love And we can all use more love in our lives. I want to thank you so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful fantastic day. Bye. Bye now