 I've passed two before the break. We have music there from James Taylor. That is handyman. Now, if you've ever asked yourself, is this really all that life can be? Or do you find yourself maybe wishing that you could swap places with someone who has it all figured out or seems to have it all figured out anyhow? So if you feel like you're stuck in life and not just the life in general, but maybe it's in your career, maybe it's in a relationship, maybe it's with your finances, maybe it's all of the above, there's a new book that could well help it's called Breakthrough and it's written by Mark Fennell. Mark is a life coach and he gives his clients the various tools to shift their thinking if you like and find motivation that they need in order to break through the feeling of being stuck. In fact, he's put over 20 years of coaching experience and I'm delighted that he joins us now. Mark, good afternoon. Good afternoon, Tien, thanks for having me. No problem, good to talk and good to talk about this sort of stuff as well because when I was just introducing it there, I was thinking there's a lot of people were going, yep, that's me, that's me, that's me. You come across a lot of people, I suppose, in your line of work, that are stuck and that are looking for a bit of motivation and some advice. Very much so. I mean, there's two types of people that get stuck. There's the first type, which is because something happened. It might be a divorce, a friendship fallout, a job loss, a diagnosis, and something that kind of knocks you for six and you kind of fall into that place of feeling stuck and sometimes people go, how will I ever be happy again? How will I move forward and the fear of it happening again and so forth? So that's the person number one but the second person, which is very common, there's no kind of cataclysmic event has happened. It's just they're going through life. They've got stuff that they're grateful for. They know they've a decent life or whatever but they're just feeling like they've lost their spark. I'm going through life, but how am I actually fulfilled? There's a girl I talk about, her name is Chloe in the book in the second chapter and so many people, when I talked about her on my Instagram because I share quite a bit on there and so many people said, that's who I relate to, Chloe. Going through life, nothing major has gone wrong but just feeling like, is there more and where am I going? Like one person liking to do, bobbing on the ocean without having any direction to go and you're just going whatever way the wind blows you and sometimes that's a lot of people. So what's become of Chloe? What has Chloe changed? Yeah, well to be honest with you, the thing about it was when I worked with Chloe and I came to her and I asked her the question which I opened the book with, I said, well, how are you really? You know, because when I asked her first, she went, yeah, everything looks great. Look, I have a job and I've got two kids and I have a husband and a house and she had everything that was, you know, most people would see him as great but what happened for Chloe was, I said, but how are you really? Because what brought her to my door, so to speak? And she opened up and she started just the ball and broke down crying and she says, I'm just not happy even though I know I should be. And I said, well, when was the last time you really felt that life was happy, when life was good? Things were like, oh, I was so happy at that point. And she said, almost be 10, 12 years ago. And the long story short, when it kind of got, the book explains it a lot deeper than I will now, but for time, well, basically what she said was, I said, well, what happened that was going on in your world 12 years ago? And she said, I was helping people and for her, that was the thing that wasn't in her life anymore. She wasn't helping people or, you know, supporting people or whatever and she gets a lot from that. So that was the thing for her. But for a lot of people, it's different to see. So there's no one answer fix everyone. But what I have found was, I saw it as a pattern. So whether you're the CEO who feels stuck or you're the single mom who's trying to, you know, hold it all together and you feel stuck. There's a pattern that works with most people. And it all comes back to when we set our mindset to where we want to be and what actually brings us fulfillment in life. You know, that's probably like a vague answer to some degree, but the book really unboxes it, but it's a starting point. And here's the real starter. For anyone even listening, when you make the decision to say, you know what, how am I really and what do I need to change? And making that choice to even ask yourself that question is a good starting point. Because most people don't ask themselves and they just coast. They just maintain until it's too late and then there's regret. Yeah, absolutely. And a lot of people, if they do realize that they're not fulfilling their potential or they're not where they want to be in life, they'll go about, you know, starting it out themselves and, you know, most people muddle through. But it helps when, you know, they can be directed, maybe to somebody like you, give them face-to-face advice, or through a book like this. It's called Breakthrough. And that's what I suppose that's what a lot of people are looking for. A breakthrough or a breakout from, you know, their day-to-day existence where they feel that just they should be getting more out of life. I think what happens, sadly, a lot of people is we work our job, but we live for the weekend. And then the weekend is gone and then we're back into Monday, living for the weekend again. If that's your cycle, because five days, you know, and we're living for two, there's something to be said about that. And like, maybe it's the job or maybe it's not. But what I would always say is if you're living in that cycle, it could be a whole lot better. And it doesn't mean you have to kind of conquer ever and start changing anything dramatic. But ask yourself, what is it that's not, should we say, ticking the box during the week that you're living for the weekend so much? And then what happens, a lot of people, sadly, is they come to the weekend and then they, you know, they have a few drinks to kind of escape it all and so forth and they suffer on Sunday and then they're back into a Monday. If you're in that kind of cycle particularly, I would always say, well, why is that? And would it not be better if you were, I mean, not every day is gonna be, you know, roses and happy out in the sun is shining. But what if you could have more, five days where more you're, should we say, and not worrying about the two? Because sometimes we do that where we work five, but we actually just live for the Friday night and the Saturday night, because that doesn't sound like a very good balance to me. And I'd always say, what if we could change that? And people go, well, I don't know how. Most people don't know how. That's why you come and talk to a coach. You know, I do a group online and it's all about that. It's like, you don't need to know all the answers. You just need to begin and make the choice that you're looking for one. And then you'll find it. From your experience, what is it down to? Is it down to ability or lack of ability? Is it down to the direction that we take, maybe when we leave school? Maybe it's the wrong direction. And I'm generalizing here. Or is it just a lot of other things and it's different for everybody? It's a little bit different, but here's what I find that's common to most. We are who we are today because of what happened in our past. A lot of people don't reach their potential because someone, a teacher, going back as far as that, or a sibling, or a parent, or a bully, told you that you're no good. You're not enough. You'll never make it or whatever. And that little story stuck. And then we see when we get things wrong in life that, oh, look, there's the evidence. Yeah, they were right. I'll never be much. And then we start to live our life as, should we say, not reaching our full potential because we're believing a story. Here's a thought for a moment, just to get people thinking. What if all of the negativity that was ever said to you up until today was deleted from your memory? Now what would you do different? Now who would you become? A lot of people would say, oh, I do. And they change and they shift their body language and they say, oh, I do this and I do that and so forth because so much of who we are today is as a result of our past. And that's the limiting factor that we do. We carry the bags of the past with us into the present. And it could be something, a one-off statement or an exam you fail that you never kind of got over or it could be something even more traumatic. But the reality is so much of who we are today is defined by our past. But what if we actually started to define who we are tomorrow today and not as a result of who we were yesterday? That's the game changer. I mean, there's obviously different factors that play for different people. But we're all guilty also, I think, of just getting into a bit of a rut in life and settling into a routine and settling for what we have. Is it ever too late because there could be people in their 30s listening and going, well, so that's not for me now. And a career path or whatever. And then there's other people who are in their 50s or beyond thinking, well, that ship has sailed. Has it really? If the ship has sailed when you decide it's sailed. You see, that's the decision we make again. We are the ones that get in our own way and sometimes we have to get out of our own way. And people say to me, well, is it ever too late? And someone will say, well, Mark, how do we know it's never too late? Because I tell you why. I worked with people who were 24. I worked with people who were 74. And there was a girl, a woman who came to me last year and she was turning 74, she was 73 when she came to me. And she says, I mean, how can you help me though? I mean, you know, my husband's passed away. I'm at home, me and the cats and the grandkids visit every now and then. How can you help me? And I said, well, and we got talking and we started to discover what gave her fulfillment. And she said, all was 20 years ago. She ended out cancelling coaching with me because her social life got so busy because she became so heavily involved in the Irish Country Woman's Association. And she says, Mark, I've got great news but I don't need you anymore. She says, I've found my fulfillment. So, and she's 74. Now I'm not saying that's the route everyone takes. The point is, if you believe the ship has sailed, the ship has sailed. But if you say, well, what if it hasn't, now I can work with something like that. You see, we are the ones that, should we say, gizump ourselves. And we use the thing like age to hold us back. We use the thing like, oh, who I am, where I'm from, the color of my skin, how I speak, the height I am, the job I have. That's all stories that you're creating for yourself. But what if those stories, like I say, were deleted? Now what? Game changer. I suppose we can all say, whether it's age or kids or maybe something to do with health. But a lot of these issues, a lot of these factors can be overcome if there's a will. Yeah, and this is the whole point. It goes back to the choice. The choice, and the book is filled with real life stories and there's some of my own in there. A lot of people just wanna be happy and peaceful in life. They're looking for contentment. They just wanna have a fulfilled life. It doesn't mean they're doing anything big or dramatic or overturning their life or changing everything. But sometimes it's the little things that make a big difference. And what I mean by that is, like when we were faced myself and my wife, our stories in there, but when we were faced with the doctor saying, you're not gonna have kids, and I said, I'm not gonna be different to everyone else. All my peers, my siblings, how will I ever be happy again was the biggest thing that came into my head. And I discover that fulfillment is still available to be tapped into even when your heart's desires maybe aren't possible. So that's why everyone and anyone can break through but it starts with a choice of saying, what if I can as opposed to it? I probably won't. It's a choice. And the one person that can change it is you. Well, you know what? Here's what I'll always say as well. It's like the rally driver and the co-driver. I'm the co-driver, but unless you put your hand to the steering wheel and the gears and press that accelerator, nothing happens. The person ultimately will get them there. What a coach does is ask clever questions. Well, that's what I meant. Every individual that can really change it. And with, you know, and at times with help from the likes of yourself. 100% because sometimes we can't solve a problem with the same mindset that created the problem. And that's why we need a coach. We need a support. Even if it starts with the book, I built the book so that it would be like having a coach in your pocket. That was the idea. And there's stories in there that I think everyone will relate to. The worry, the overthinking, you know, dealing with finances, dealing with our past. It covers quite a multitude. It's a good book that way. But 20 years of coaching, I said, right, let's put it into the covers of a book and that's what we did. OK, it's called Breakthrough Practical Steps for Moving from Stuck to Unstoppable. And so now, written by Mark Fanel. Mark, thank you very much. Thank you for having me.