 You're suffering silently inside. That's a very difficult thing to say as I'm hurting. I feel shame, I feel guilt, I feel hatred, I feel anger. I'm a veteran. My name is Carmen McGuinness. I suffer from PTSD due to military sexual trauma. They say the marines are the few the proud. I always say the female marines are the fewer and the prouder. I joined shortly after 9-11 and we got the word that we were going to deploy to Afghanistan. And I was the only female with my unit to point. And then at one point in my career I was sexually assaulted. And at that point I just became a shell of a person. I lost my soul, I lost my heart, I lost everything that I had. What I did is I just worked all of the time because I didn't have to think about anything else. But I really learned that it is okay to feel how you feel and it is okay to hurt. But it's also okay to ask for help. Go see the DAV, they will know how to help you. There are other veterans who can relate to you and will know what you're talking about. My own healing journey comes from putting myself back together. When I was broken into a million pieces I had to pick everything up. But not at once, I had to do it one piece at a time. And what that looks like for me is finding the little things every single day that I can find joy in. Little things with the girls and little moments with my husband and enjoying walks down the street. I'm a veteran and my victory is finding joy in all the little things in my life.