 Well, the way you play to you knuckle is suicide anyway, you know? At least when I'm going to get in here someplace, you know what? Good for you, Jack. Never mind that. Ask me what happened. I know, I invited you to her house for supper and you stayed three months. Well, listen, when I'm invited to someone's house for supper, I don't want them to think I just came for the meal, you know? No, but you don't have to sign a lease and move in. No, no. Oh, well, love's a funny thing, you know? It's furious. Oh, well. Yes, very. It's furious. Well, as long as there is nothing going on, I'd just like to say that the 1934 Chevrolet with its reaction wheels is more economical on dust and oil than ever before. I'll say. Oh, well. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to sing a song, that number that so many of you have requested. Smoke it in your eyes from Roberta. Well, that could happen from a cigarette, too, you know. Yes, but this happens to be from Roberta. Oh, well. Play, Frank. That was so and so and so and so sung by Frank Parker. Oh, it gets in your eyes. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the prize of the evening we're going to offer. Hello. Hello. Tonight, we're going to present another sketch in our series. How have you been? Fine, thanks, fine. We're going to present another play, A Wayline. Hey, what great program this got, Jack. You know, I haven't missed a one, man. I'm going to drop up to see how you're doing. Thanks. I haven't seen you. Now, folks, if you remember last week, we gave you a thrilling murder mystery which we intended to continue. You don't remember me, do you? Well, your face is familiar, but not to me. Oh, that's all right. You meet so many people here. Yes, yes, yes. Well, I'll be seeing you. See, where was I? Oh, yes. Getting back to our play this evening, ladies and gentlemen. You know, I remember you when you worked in a café in Montreal. Not to me, yes. You'll have to pardon me for I'm broadcasting. Go right ahead, I don't mind. Say you're doing pretty good now, aren't you? Yes, thanks. Have Rilla take care of this man, would you please? My dear fellow, you will have to wait until this program is over. After all, this is a broadcast. Sure, sure. But I know, Jack. I just want a minute every time. All right, have Rilla. All right. Now, what is it? Hey, what is it? What do you want? Well, tell the truth, I hate to bring this up. I did. I happen to be financially embarrassed. Well, I just thought for, you know, for old times' sake, you might be able to help me out. Yeah, well, you certainly picked a fine time to mention it. Well, I thought I'd get there while you weren't doing anything. Oh. Well, come on. Get to the point. I mean, what is it? I'm explaining something. You're doing pretty good, aren't you? Yes, yes. Could you let me take $20? I'm not doing that good. Well, how good are you doing? Well, here, look it. Here's $5. Now run along, and I'll see you again. All right. I'll take it, but I'm awful disappointed. Well. I thought you were doing better than that. Well. Well, go along. Go along. See you again. Yeah, thanks very much. I'll pay you back just as soon as I start working. What kind of work do you do? I'm an automobile mechanic in Bermuda. Bermuda? Yes. Listen, there's no way to me. There are no automobiles in Bermuda. Yeah. Yeah, that's what's worrying me. Oh. Well, goodbye, Jack. Goodbye, five bucks. I'm in Young Man. Well, thanks again. I just want to tell you that you sure had a great orchestra when you were in Montreal. Yeah. Well, so long. So long. Hey, wait a minute. Wait, I never had an orchestra in Montreal. You didn't? No. Aren't you Jack Denney, the orchestra leader? No, I'm Jack Denney. Denney D. Denney. Oh. My mistake. Well, so long. So long. Hey, wait. It's so long. Nothing. You've got my five dollars. Oh, that's all right. Your money's as good as his. How do you like that? Well, from now on, I'm Harry Lauder. Let him try and get five dollars from that name, you know? Hey, Jack, here's a special delivery letter for you. If it's from Miami, tear it up. No, no, no. This is from Minneapolis. Oh, it's probably for Jack Denney, but I'll open it anyway. Thanks. Whoever may concern, dear Jack, last week you gave us a mystery play, and it certainly was a mystery if you remove the letter T. Oh, yes, I get it. A group of my friends were listening to your program last Sunday. And A, that B, that you were once a floor walker in a department store in Omaha, Nebraska. And C, claims that you were fired from that position. Please tell us in tonight's broadcast who was right. Signed many for many athletes. Well, many are all right, but you don't know the circumstances. I expected somebody to bring that up, and tonight on this program, please take myself. I will keep nothing back from my public. Okay, Jack, don't let those little things bother you. No way, Havill. I must vindicate myself. I admit that I was a floor walker in an Omaha department store, but I was not fired from that job. So immediately after the next summer, I will give you a brief synopsis of this questionable incident in my life as a floor walker. Havill, have you anything to say? No, Jack. I have nothing to say about the new 1934 Chevrolet with its blue flame engine. It's 80 miles an hour, or it's the action wheel. All right, then. Play, Frank. The minute you become a master of ceremonies, people dig into your past. Oh, well. Ah, that was Frank Black and his orchestra playing karaoke from flying down a Rio by special request. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I will re-enact that episode in my life when I was a floor walker in an Omaha department store. From which position I was not fired. I am here to vindicate myself. Play, Frank. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute, Frank. Business was better than that, you know. Well, part, play something else, you know. Right off the rail, madam. Yes, you'll find such a good handbag. Thank you. Number four. Number four, have this packet wrapped up please. Here's your change, madam. I'll take that symbol. Send it to the COG, yes, madam. Second floor. Ice cream, soul power, chinaware, hamburger, onions, and linens. Going up. Going floor walker. Yes, madam. What can I do for you? I want to get a baby smoking jacket. Oh, a baby smoking jacket. How old is your baby? He'll be 35 tomorrow. Well, you'll find smoking jackets in the basement. We also have some nice hair tonic if the baby happens to be bald, you know. Third floor. Third floor. Sungalows, peanuts, popcorns, and sandwiches. Going up. Oh, dear me. This store is always so crowded. Can I help you, madam? Yes. I'd like to see some umbrellas. Umbrellas, yes, madam. What kind? The kind you keep over your head when it rains. Another dope like that, and I'll be glad to hold one over your head. Thank you. I'll just follow me, and I'll wait on you. You see, our sales lady in this department happens to be in Miami right now. Here we are. You know, lady, I think, really, I think you're beautiful. You have such gorgeous eyes. I just came here for an umbrella. Oh, yes. Now, here's something nice with an ivory handle. No, I don't like ivory. Old bears are pretty ones. It has such a beautiful handle, too. Is that Mother of Pearls? No, that's Father of Edwin. Oh, well, I'll take a bar of soap. Shall we send it, or will you use it here? Yes. Third counter to the right. Oh, Miss Cotsky. Yes, sir. Uh, take care of this lady, please. Oh, just a minute. If that sign up there right, money will be fearfully refunded. Well, that all depends, of course. Who's your lawyer? Hunter Meyer. Oh, in that case, your money will be fearfully refunded. Fourth floor, paint, foundation, powder, pigs, raisins, and nuts. Going up? That elevator hasn't moved yet. Say, are you the floor walker here? Uh, yes, sir. Can I help you? I want to buy a baby hat. I'll be glad to wait on you. We're living sort of after this. Uh, what size, um, what size hat would you like? Oh, any size. I don't care. Well, I mean, well, what color baby? I'm not particular. Well, would you like black, tan, or gray? Oh, I don't say. It's for my thumb bone. I'm a hot musician. Oh. You know, that elevator, boy, wasn't such a good tenor singer, I think. How do you do? How do you do, sir? Uh, yes. I think in the new 1934 Chevrolet, I felt that the minute you walked in, you know. Oh, where are your Chevrolet? Uh, yes, four blocks down the street. It's a Chevrolet. It's going from soft to tight. No, no. I just bought a Chevrolet. I see. Well, how about two for the nice two to close? No, no. All I need is a Chevrolet. Well, I'm sorry. Anything else? No, no. It's a Chevrolet. I didn't go now. I have a little overdue in that, you know. All right. It's time for that elevator, boy, again. Oh. This floor. Ah, look who's coming. Well, well, well. Pardon me, Matt. Is there something I can do for you? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, Walter, here. What do you want? I want to be alive. You'll have, uh, you'll have no trouble in this store. I'd like that of food. I doubt if we have any side, madam. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I doubt if we have any side, madam. And I think I'll go home now. Yes, I would. I would. Who was that lady, Mr. Bennet? Kay Francis. I thought you knew people, I mean. Seven floor, four coats, panels, two sticks, battleships, and airplanes going up. Pardon me, Mr. Bennet. I'm having trouble with a customer in my department. He wants a new coat. And all we have is sea, old bell, and socks. How does he smell? I mean, where, um... Where is he? Right over here, Mr. Bennet. What seems to be the trouble, madam? I just have my account closed immediately. Ah, madam, don't be so hasty. What's your name, please? Mrs. Gay Hesley Seed. Oh, one of the Seeds, yes. Well, Mrs. Seeds, I can save you the trouble. Your account was closed last week. Please, I never buy another thing in this sold-on credit. You're telling us. Well, Mrs. Seeds, what's your opinion on? When I tried on all your coats and they seemed long. Well, just what kind of a coat do you want? Mother of pearl. We just did that, though. Oh, yes. Now, here, here's a lovely coat, right over here. I tried that on before, it's everything. Well, would you like to see something from Paris? Yes. Not any coats, sir. Now, here's a real fox. We're featuring this number. Sort of a fox feature. Try it on. Hmm. This seems to fit all right. How much is this? Let me see. $110.98. Now, step right over to the mirror and look it over. That is pretty. Wait a minute. Hey, this is my own coat. I just took it off to try on some of yours. But, madam, it's the only thing in the store that fits you. Where's the proprietor? Where is the proprietor? Guess a mistake, madam. I assure you. Hey, what's the matter? What's the matter? What's going on here? Oh, nothing, Mr. McGillicuddy. It's just a little mistake, that's all. A mistake, eh? This man was trying to sell me my own coat. Now, now, don't get excited, ladies. We're here to please you, because the matter's always right, especially in this store. And you are going to be in trouble. Go on. Go on. But, Max. Max to you. Now, here's your salary. Go ahead and go. Oh, yeah? Well, you can't get me to stay here if you've paid me a million. You're fired. Come on, ladies. I'll show you something fancy for $35. This way. This thing, but you can have it, but, Bill. Don't ask me to come back. I'll show you something fancy for $35. This thing, but you can have it, but, Bill. Don't ask me to come back. I'm through. Get out. Oh, cryin' to get me back, eh? Well, I quit. And when I say I'm through, I'm through. Main floor. All out between the floor, Walter. Play, Frank. And that's Mini from Minneapolis is how I came to design my job in the department store in Omaha, Nebraska. Telegram, telegram for Jack, Benny. Here you are, boy. Hmm, for Miami. Dear Jack, if you're still a floor walker, I'd like to see something in a ghost without a nose. Oh, play, Frank. This is the last number of the 21st program on the 25th of February. Well, folks, I must leave you now. We'll be back again next Sunday night. I hope you all liked the little incident in my life as a floor walker. And I'm glad that I have vindicated myself. By the way, Frank, what does vindicate mean? Well, vindicate is like taking a newspaper article and sending it to all the different papers in the country. You know, you vindicate an article. Frank, that's vindicate. Yes, some people call it that. Good night, Paul. Good night.