 Hi, I'm Matthew Coast, head dating coach and founder at CommitmentConnection.com and in today's video we're going to talk about three reasons why old school love wins and you are losing right now. And so if this is your first time to our channel, make sure that you go and hit the subscribe button to get more videos on how to attract the man and the relationship that you've always wanted. So let's get started. So, you know, I think that a dating right now is really, really difficult. I think that it's a jungle out there. I think there's a lot of confusion. I think there's a lot of anger. There's being somebody who's coached on both the men's dating side and the women's dating side. I can say that the frustration is universal. You know, everybody's frustrated right now. And so, you know, what was it that was going on before this new day and age that was more effective, right? Because it didn't used to be this hard for people to attract and find somebody. I think there's a few things that people used to do that were really valuable that we aren't doing anymore. And I think that as a society we're going to start moving back to some of those things because I think the way what we're doing right now isn't working. This whole thing where we're, you know, man versus woman, you know, the battle of the sexes. It doesn't work, you know, and being anti-man, being anti-woman, it doesn't work. You know, we're better together. We're stronger together. And I think we're learning that. And I think we want to come together. You know, I think we want to have great relationships. And I think that there's just a lot of confusion right now because of a lot of things that are going on politically and a lot of things that have kind of gone on for a long time that we haven't really taken care of. And so I think, but I think there's going to be a kind of a switchback to doing some of these things that we used to do. And here are some of the things that I think you should start looking at to better your relationships than what was going on before. So the first reason that I think that old school love was really kicking butt back in the day was because they set higher standards, right? So right now we kind of, you know, are setting these weird, we have these weird philosophies about dating and relationship patterns. You know, like there's this hookup culture thing, people are just going out there and hooking up with each other, which is fine or whatever. But it's really devaluing, especially for women. I think it devalues women in the way that we look at women. And I think if we started holding higher standards for ourselves and for the people that we're getting into relationships with, I think we would do so much better. Right now, there's kind of this thing where a lot of people are like, you know, they want everything, but they aren't willing to be the person who deserves everything. But they think that they deserve everything. And it's kind of like this big thing that everybody complains about with like the millennial generation or whatever. But really, I think if we went back to, you know, setting and maintaining boundaries, if we went back to making sure that we got into relationships that with people that have the same values that, you know, we create, you know, we only get into relationships with people that, you know, are doing great things. And we start holding ourselves to higher standards. I think we're all going to have just better relationships all around. So reason number two that I think old school love was really kicking butt, and we've kind of fallen off the train, is that old school love used to put a lot of effort in. You know, we're kind of in this place where people are like, you know, if there's one little thing that doesn't work, everybody's like, oh, let's jump ship. You know, when I was growing up, my grandparents, you know, they stayed together through everything, you know, they had tons of problems, and they stayed through them. And I don't necessarily think that their mentality was necessarily the best. You know, I think a lot of people back then were staying in relationships that they, you know, probably shouldn't have been staying in. But at the same time, we've, it's like we've jumped to the opposite side where it's like, you know, immediately, it's like, oh, well, you know, he wears glasses. So, you know, it's over, you know, I didn't know he wears glasses, it's over, you know, or, you know, he said this one thing or he's got this one viewpoint, you know, and it's over because of that. And I think we just, I think we're giving up on each other too early and too easily. And I think we're not putting enough effort in, you know, and we're expecting a lot of effort from the opposite sex, but we're not putting in the effort ourselves. And I think it goes for both sides. I'm not just saying it's like, you know, just men or just women or whatever. I think we're both doing this. I think, you know, a whole bunch of people are getting into situations and they expect a lot of effort, but they're not putting in the effort. And it's like, you know, and then, you know, going back to the first thing, we're just giving up on each other and it's just, it just, I don't think it's working. I don't think that works. You know, I think putting in the effort works. I think looking at the other person and making sure that you're getting with somebody that's going to put in the effort is what works. And then also putting in that effort is what works. And, you know, any other combination doesn't work. So I think the third reason why old school love was really kicking butt and we've kind of just like, you know, fallen face down in the mud in today's times is because, you know, men and women kind of really knew who they were back then. And now it's like this weird thing where we don't really know what's going on. Nobody knows what's going on. It's like, you know, there's, there's part of us, you know, as a guy in dating situations, it's like, you know, you go into it and it's like, okay, you know, when am I encroaching too much, you know, am I allowed to even approach women anymore? You know, is it okay to show interest? Is it, you know, like, is it okay to open doors? Is it okay to be a gentleman, you know, like as a guy who has, you know, been through a lot of different dating situations. I've been, I've been verbally and physically assaulted for, you know, things that I thought were guy things to do, you know, and, and I think we've kind of gotten away from a lot of that stuff where, you know, not even necessarily being in a role, although I don't think that's necessarily unhealthy at all. I think, you know, being in traditional roles is very healthy. I think it's, you know, maybe not traditional roles in the way that we think of traditional roles, necessarily, because I think that like real traditional male and female biological roles, we don't even know what they are necessarily. But I think having some semblance of, you know, being a man, this is a way that I can act. And being a woman, this is the way she can act. And it's okay to act in those frameworks of being a man and woman. I think that can be healthy. And I think it makes things easier. And I think that it works. What I don't think works is attacking each other for being in those roles. I don't think it works to not have any kind of boundaries or kind of framework in which we look at being a man and being a woman and, you know, working inside of that. I don't necessarily think that the old ones that we had were perfect or necessarily the way that it should be. But I think that, you know, it is time to revisit a lot of those things and look at them and say, okay, you know, how do we want to be as people? You know, what is really fulfilling for us as man and woman in a relationship to be like? And instead of, you know, taking on political sides or taking on, you know, who we should be, but just, you know, grabbing ahold of that and working on that from a framework of, you know, what fulfills us, what calls us, you know, what makes us feel empowered in our relationships. I think that's a much healthier way to be than kind of the direction that we've been going. Thanks for watching this video. If you're ready to know exactly what to say and do to attract the man and the relationship you've always wanted, click on the button on the right hand side of this video and go to our website.