 I went to church camp, you know, it was fun, it got me out of my parents house, anything to get out of there made me happy, but I have a good church camp story because my friend Teresa and I, we really were very best friends, and I couldn't sleep with the girls, I had to sleep with the boys, but we had, which I still do, but in a different way, and I really started doing that seriously in Boy Scout camp, but this was Christian church camp, and so I was younger and I wanted to be able to sleep with the girls, so my friend Teresa and I told our camp counselors who are a married couple, and the husband had gotten his leg amputated after he was changing his car, tiring his car on the highway and a truck ran over, and he lost his leg. Anyway, they were very close, the husband and wife, and they were our camp counselors, and so we told them that my mother had died and her father had died, and that my mother, you know, and that her mother and my father had gotten married, and that we had been so severely traumatized by the loss of our parents, that we loved each other so much, that we, we were like inseparable, so we got them to allow all the boys to sleep in the same Adirondack as the girls so that I could sleep next to her bed with my hand on her face, otherwise I couldn't sleep. They thought it was the most tender story, we had them going, we had them going, and her sister was in another camp group, and they were like trying to find it out, so we hadn't even told her sister, who was amazing, you know, we all had this, you know, little Christian graft thing going or whatever, grift, and so they started saying, oh, so, you know, asking her the questions that we had made up this elaborate lie, and they're like, she said, yeah, yeah, it's true, it's all true, and then the camp counselors would go, they were married, older, they would go tell everybody, oh it's so sweet, they're her brother and sister, and they're love for each other, and they were so touched by it, and so I get, I lay there and sleep on the floor with my face, my hand on her face, and then at the end of the week, both of our sets of parents showed up to collect them, and they were so shocked, but anyway, whatever, fuck them, they shouldn't assign the wrong gender to the wrong Adirondack, otherwise people would be forced to lie.