 Willard Waterman as the Great Gildersleeve! Last week the Great Gildersleeve was suddenly sent to the hospital for an appendectomy. Now he's home again and his doctor has pronounced him in the bank. In fact, he's as healthy as a horse and can't wait to get back into harness. Right, George, I feel great this morning. Oh, you look wonderful, Auntie. Thank you, my cheek. The apples are back in your cheek. Maybe that's them two baked apples being for breakfast. Before he had his bacon eggs, pancakes, and syrup. Well, very, there's nothing wrong with my appetite. No, sir. You going to have the office this morning? You bet. Of course, everybody will be coming in and asking about my operation. Probably won't get much work done today. No, sir. You know, I wonder why a fellow's operation is always so fascinating to other people. Very annoying the way they pester you for details. Say, did I tell you how hard it was for the doctor to make me unconscious? Yes, Auntie. We heard about it. Well, that sort of thing is what everybody else is wanting to know. Frankly, I dread today. You have to tell the same story over and over again to everybody I meet. Well, you certainly had plenty of practice, Auntie. Was it plenty? Well, yesterday you told the laundry man and the postman, and this morning it was the paper boy. Well, I couldn't get away from them. Mr. Giltzley, do you think you ought to be running out and cornering these people without a hat and coat? You very well want to hear the story sometime. I'm just trying to get it over with. Who's that? It's the milkman. I better go bring him the milk. I'll do that, Mr. Giltzley. You'd never bring him the milk. Well, I feel like doing it today. Milkman! Milkman! Hey, he left in a hurry. Maybe the postman warned him. Oh, my, sure. You make it sound as if my operation is all I talk about. After all, who brought up the subject this morning? I didn't. I didn't? Well, I didn't. Yeah. Yo! There's Leroy out in the eye of his little girlfriend. I haven't seen Bab since my operation. Mr. Giltzley, before you run out this time, will you please put on your hat and coat? Yeah, oh, yes, Bertie. I intend to. Uncle Morse, you'll never get to the office. Here, let me help you with your coat. Yeah. And you? Yeah. Thank you, Marcy. I think I should talk to Baz before I go. My mother's out of town, and Baz would probably want to write to her. Tell her I'm all right. Give her some of the details. Oh, I'm sure she will, auntie. Yeah, talk to her, my dear. I'll be home in five. If you get tired, you come home earlier. Yeah, I won't get tired. The water commissioner has a full head of steam. Well, Baz, I haven't seen you for several days now. Hello, Mr. Giltzley. You look as though you kid as you're going skating. We are. Soon as Leroy puts new laces in my skate shoes. Can't you hurry, Leroy? Well, I have to rip out the old laces first, hm? See, that reminds me of a few days ago when the doctor took out my stitches like that. Okay, Baz, we'll have a new laces. Here they are. I had an operation, you know. Yeah. Baz, I guess Leroy told you I had an operation. Another one? No, the one I had last week. My epinectomy. Oh, that. Yeah, I told her. Yeah, I just wanted to be sure. Thought you might like to write to your mother about it. She's been away for a few weeks. She came back last night. She did? Well, and you told her all about it. No, I didn't. You didn't? Well, we had a lot of important things to talk about. Well, I thought you may have sneaked in the conversation. Well, frankly, Mr. Giltzley, I forgot all about your operation. We haven't. I thought you'd enjoy telling mother, Mr. Giltzley. Well, it isn't that I enjoy talking about my operation. Hold this shoe while I race it, Babs. Okay. Well, I guess it's better that your mother was out of town when I was hospitalized. You know how concerned women get. Don't lace it too tightly, Roy. Okay. Well, I have to get down to the office. So long, huh? In Babs, when you see your charming mother, tell her not to worry. Worry about what? You'll forget it. Goodbye, children. Yeah, it's good to be sitting down at the old desk again. Yup, yup, yup. Fine chair. Everything looks about the same. Except there's a layer of dust in the dust. I think this agenda doesn't expect me back so soon. Yeah, well, well, people start calling to ask about me. They think I'll give Paula a jingle. You know, I'm surprised that Babs didn't tell her I'd been in the hospital. Too bad I had to have the operation while she was out of town. It would have been nice to have her sitting by my sick bed. Holding my hand. And I wonder what she is. Nobody answers. You know, I have to try later. Gilbert! Gilbert! Hi, nice to see you back at the office, Gilbert. How are you feeling? Now that you asked me that, sit down, Judge. I really haven't time. You see, I dropped in. And speaking of how I'm feeling, I feel fine. Do you realize, Horace, that they had me out of that hospital in three days? Oh, why didn't you pay your bill? Judge, that's the way they do things in hospitals these days. They make you ambulate. I know, I know. Of course, they do things differently nowadays. When I was in the hospital back in 1909... Judge. Was it 1910? It was 1910. The year of Haley's kind. Oh, my goodness. I was flat on my back for two weeks. And would you believe it, Gilbert? I was out of my head for three days. He's still out of his head. Well, back in the days when I had my opera. Judge, please. You just don't bore people with the details of your operation. Oh. Well, you take a case like mine now. Well, just be thankful it's all over. Uh, Gilbert, I'm going to the midwinter dance at the country club, and I wonder if I can borrow your dress couplets. Oh, yes, of course, Judge. Fine. I'll drop by your house this afternoon and get them. Summerfield's elite will be there. And I want to look my dapper best. This is the party of the year. Hmm. I didn't realize it's being out of touch. Being in the hospital, you know. Yeah, I know. Too bad you have to miss it. But I've heard you all about it. I'll bring you my dance program. You'll find. There's something about a judge that fascinates beautiful women. They all want to dance with me. Yes, yes. Goodbye, Gildy. I've seen dancing bears but never a waltzing old goat. I don't understand how a man's friends can be so indifferent. You think I had an operation every day? Yeah. P.V. has changed his window display. And I guess I'd ought to drop in. Being a druggist, he wanted to know what pills and medicine they gave me. Hello. Well, I can join us, will you? I didn't expect to see you out today. Well, I surprised everybody. Just think. It's only a week since my operation. Here I am down at the office working. You didn't say. I'd swear you were standing here talking to me. You know what I mean, P.V. Now, let's see. Did you realize I was up on my feet the day after my operation? Two painted toots on it. One ghost with toothbrushes. P.V., what are you doing? I'm taking the inventory, Mr. Gildy. The inventory? Yes. I'm a little behind. If you'll pardon me, I'll get on with it. You'll go right ahead, P.V. I won't interrupt you. Well, eight bottles of cough syrup. When I was in the hospital, I took some medicine that color, P.V. Because it wasn't for a cough. I'm ready to keep in class. You guys probably did vitamin pills with our economy side. P.V., they gave me some pills that looked like those, too. Half a dozen men shaving lotion. Raise your grades, two, four, six, eight. P.V., do you know what my nurse said the last night she was on duty? That she couldn't make dates during business hours. No, P.V. She said I was the best patient she ever had. My, my. P.V., raise your grades. 10, 12, 14. P.V., do you know what the doctor said? All right, all right. Mr. Gildersleeve, what did the doctor say? What did the intern say? What did the orderly say? And what did the man in the parking lot say? P.V., you got me all wrong. I didn't come in here to talk about my operation. And I wouldn't say nothing. You're all right. And I know you're not interested. Unfortunately, I don't need any sympathy. I'm Hale and Harding. Yeah, and that's right. I didn't worry about you too much. That's all right, P.V. I've learned my lesson. I'll never bring up the subject again. Well, good morning, Mr. Winter. Paula. Good morning, Mr. P.V. I'm Mark Moreton. How nice to see you. Yeah, hello, Paula. Nice to see you. Did you have a good trip? Delightful. I guess you heard I'd been in the hospital. Yes, I just heard it this morning. It was such a shock. Yeah, it was nothing. Nothing. You'll find out. Mr. P.V., I need some cosmetics. Will you fill out this list while Paula Moreton tells me about his trip to the hospital? Yeah. Yeah, Paula, it's quite a story. Please take your time, Peter. Don't worry. I won't rush you. Mark Moreton, I'm so glad that you recovered so quickly. You look wonderful. Yeah, I feel great. Hard to keep a good man down, you know. I couldn't wait to get out of the office this morning. You've been working this morning? Yep. I'm on my way back to the office now. Raring to go. Oh, that's good news. But I was first told about you. I had visions of you lying in bed con blessings. Not me. In fact, I planned to come over this afternoon and sit by your bedside and hold your hand. Oh. Seriously, I did think you'd like me to come over and read to you. Well, there's nothing wrong with holding my hand, either. I mean, what time did you plan to come over? Oh, I planned to come over around two. Two o'clock. But of course, it won't be necessary now. You know, perhaps I got up too soon. Your man could have a relapse. Oh, not you. Yeah, I don't know, Paula. I'm just beginning to realize how weak I am. Excuse me, hearing your cosmetics message, Winter. Oh, thank you, Mr. Peavey. You come to think of it, Paula. Every afternoon around two, I seem to have a new sinking spell. So I'd better go home for it. Why don't you, Trough Morton? You shouldn't exert yourself. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't. Paula, would you mind helping me to my collar? I'm a little weak in the knees. Oh, you poor boy. Goodbye, Mr. Peavey. Goodbye, Peavey. Goodbye. I guess that's why he's a water commissioner. I can't turn it on. Mr. Guilfrey, we didn't expect you home this noon. Well, Bertie, I made a mistake. I got up too soon. Yes, sir. Would you mind straightening up my dressing table? No, sir. In Bertie? Yes, sir. You'd better get some of those pills and tonics out of the medicine cabinet. Put them beside my bed, where they'll be handy. Yes, sir. Any particular ones, Mr. Guilfrey? You better just use your own judgment, Bertie. I'm busy. Yes, and it's cute. Uncle Mort? Yeah, hello, Marjorie. What are you doing with that big chair? Yeah, moving it over by the bed. Did you bring it all the way upstairs from the living room? Yep. Yo. Yo. Yeah. Why? He says he's having a relapse. A relapse? Mr. Guilfrey, I'll put your silk pajamas on the foot of your bed. Yes, thank you, Bertie. Is that the pair with the poodle dogs on them? Yes. Mr. Mort, if you're going to bed, why did you bring that big chair up here? Well, I may have company. Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I'll go shave. Again? Mr. Guilfrey, can I fix you a little chicken broth for lunch? Yeah, I don't think so, Bertie. You don't feel like eating anything? Well, I didn't say that. Do you have any potato salad left over from dinner last night? Yes. Good. I'd like a big scoop of that with some lettuce and whipped. I'll bring you right up. Wait a minute, Bertie. Can you make me a couple of sandwiches of that cold roast beef with a sliced dill pickle on the side? Uncle Mort, should you eat like that? Well, I'm sure you're hungry. This doesn't sound like a relapse to me. Miss Marjorie, he's having what you might call a hungry relapse. Yeah, Bertie. I better get down to kitchen because Mr. Guilfrey is having a hungry relapse I ever thought. You're all right, Bertie. Miss Guilfrey, do you know what you have? Yes, Bertie. I'm having a hungry relapse I ever thought. You're right, George. That was a fine lunch. Paula should be here in a few minutes. I'll just slide the tray under the bed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now snuggle down into the covers and relax until she comes. You've had a break. I'm coming into Paula's feedies. You'd better fluff up my pillow a little. No. Let her do it. Sweet of her to want to come over and sit with me. What else could I do but go back to bed? I can hear her now. Would you like me to fluff up your pillow, Mr. Morton? You have a good idea. Dear? What a vision of loveliness. Oh, you poor darling. What would help if I could rent you a forehead? Well, it couldn't do any harm. Dr. Morton, your forehead's so cold. Your little hand is so warm. Are you having a chill, darling? I don't feel chilly. Paula? Yes, Dr. Morton? Paula? I know! Let's get those doors off. I've got them in the mirror! You'll find me or I'll show her in. She's here right on the dot. Come in, Paula. It isn't Mrs. Winslow. It's Babs. Babs? Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. I'm sorry you aren't feeling so well. Thank you, but you raised your mother. She can't come over until later. So she sent me to read to you. Oh, my goodness. What happened? When did you fall apart? You're a leeroy. You look so well this morning, Mr. Gildersleeve. That's my uncle for you. We could hardly drag himself to the office, but did he complain? No, leeroy. No, sir. He went down to work and stayed until he had to be carried home. I did say Mr. Gildersleeve had to lean quite heavily on him when she helped him to the car. Yes, but I'm feeling better now. In fact, Babs, if your mother isn't coming over, I may get up. Did she say when? She'd be over? No, just later. Don't cheer, Babs. Oh, is it so comfortable? I mean, our kitties, don't you worry about me. Why don't you run out and play? We wouldn't think of this. We're going to stay all afternoon. I brought a wonderful book to read to you, Mr. Gildersleeve. You insist. Is that one of your mother's books? No, it's one of mine. Gladys Tubbs' girl cheerleader. Oh, brother. Keenog, it's all about Gladys and the star basketball player who couldn't play in the big game because he had to work to support his father and mother. And Gladys the cheerleader... Leeroy, don't tell him the story. Let me read it to him. Okay, okay. Are you ready, Mr. Gildersleeve? I guess so. Chapter one, a heavy gloom spread throughout Belmont High as the fateful word passed from classroom to classroom. High Pocket Johnson quits the team. Yeah. Nobody could get the reason. Only Gladys Tubbs' girl cheerleader knew what went on in High Pocket's troubled mind. How do I get into these things? Chapter 10, Belmont Forever. Five o'clock. Pretty exciting, huh? I can hardly stand it. This is my favorite chapter. It was the last one. It's my favorite, too. It was the night of the big game. Would it be Belmont's Waterloo or would High Pocket's Johnson be able to hitchhike back to town in time for the game? Don't worry, aunt. He makes it. Leeroy! A thousand doubts and fears of sale poured Gladys as she picked up her megaphone and yet... Stop, Babs. Stop. Doorbell. Stop. I did it! Sorry to interrupt your story, Ban. Must be Mother. High Pocket wins the game, aunt. We'll eat for High Pocket's. Get off me! Stop it, Dad! If I and Birdie haven't come up... It isn't her. It's him. Gladys, I thought you were Mrs. Winthrop. Well, thank you. Hello, Babs. Leeroy. Hi, Judd. Hello, Judge Hooker. When I want you to go company, we'll see you later. Come on, Babs. Goodbye, Mr. Gilda, please. It's hot, hot, kiddies. Gilda, you faker. What are you doing in bed? What do you mean, faker? I was at P.D.'s and he told me all about it. Where do you help me to my car, Paula? I'm weak in the knees. You goat. Where is she? Did she disappoint you? She'll be here, Judge, so why don't you leave? I'd like to. If you'll give me your dress, cutlery, I'll go home and protect myself for the dance. Get on the dress, Judge, and try to keep them out of your soup. Ah, I did it! Judge, run on to your dance and have a good time. Oh, I will. I enjoy dancing. And all the ladies like to dance with his honor, the judge. You told me that. Now go, please. Mr. Judge! Goodbye, Judge. Gilda, I can't leave without greeting the charming Mrs. Winther. The judge. Oh, talk more. No, I'm sorry I'm late. Yeah, that's all right, Paula. I've been waiting. Hello, Judge. Good afternoon, Mrs. Winther. Come over here, Paula, and take this nice chair with a bit. Goodbye, Judge. Are you feeling any better, Talkmorton? No, indeed. Worse, if anything. In fact, I'm very hot under the color right now. Goodbye, Judge. Well, I hate to run. But, Talkmorton, I'd hope that with the rest of the afternoon, you'd feel like going out tonight. Going out? I'd be able to escort you to the dance at the club this evening. Are you going to the dance? Well, of course. I'm chairman of the decorating committee. That's why I couldn't come over earlier. Paula, why didn't you tell me you wanted me to go? Yeah, I'm fine. I'll get up and dress and we'll go. Judge, give me back my cufflet. But, Gilda... No, Talkmorton, you stay in bed and take care of yourself. Paula, I'm completely recovered. I'm strong as an ox. I can dance all night. Oh, Talkmorton, I knew you'd take this attitude. That's why I didn't dare tell you at Mr. Peabies. I just knew you'd insist on over-taxing yourself. Paula, believe me, I'm a well man. If you were entirely well, you wouldn't have wanted to go back to bed this afternoon. Mm, correct. If you take my advice, Gilda, old friend, you take it easy. Yes, Talkmorton. There'll be other dances. But... I'll have one of the girls on my committee pick me up. Uh, Mrs. Winfrey? Yes, Judge. I'm going to the dance, and it just so happens, I'm a stag tonight. Hey! Talkmorton! If you'd do me the honor, I'd be delighted to take my sick old friend's place. Well, thank you, Judge, how very thoughtful. Good Paula. George. Now, Gilda, you stay here and take your medicine. Good night. Good night. Yeah, I wasn't sick, but I sure am now. What a sneaky old goat. Yeah, lie, George, I'm not going to lie here in bed all evening. I can tell you that. How do you feel, Miss Gilda, please? Oh, much better, Bertie. In fact, I was thinking getting up. Not good to stay in bed too much after an operation like mine. No, sir. Any other man feels like it or not, he should be up and moving around. Yes, sir. Do you want to risk complications by staying in bed? No, sir. It looks so funny. I mean, I think that Mr. Petey called a while ago. He said, don't worry about Mr. Gillespie. He'll be up before you know it. He's just playing possum. Petey said that? Yes, sir. That's what he said. Very impressive. Well, I'm going to get up anyway. I'll just steer clear of Petey, that's all. You bet. You know, I'll get dressed and maybe just pop into the dance at the country club and surprise Paula. No. Back in bed. Hello, Mr. Gillespie. Hello, Petey. I got on my way home. I thought I'd stop in and see how the envelope is getting off. Well, I'm pretty weak, Petey. But I'm all right. Nice of you to stop in. We want you to be late getting home. No, don't worry. The man can get pretty much a blanket room alone. I thought I'd come and sit with you a while. Petey? No, I'm not going anywhere, Torino. You know, well, having somebody to read to you helps to pass the time. Petey, please. Hmm, here you go. My tea. Glad it stopped you, girl. Here you go. A heavy room spread through now. Oh, my goodness. Good night, folks. Everything is made by Willard Waterman. The show is set by John Elliott and Andy White, Mr. Barclay Grant's driver. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Barbara Whiting, Gene Bates, Earl Ross and Dick McGrath. Musical compositions by Jack Meeker. This is John Easton saying goodnight for the great killers league. The National Safety Council makes me wear a helmet. It works, protects my head. The face shield keeps the bugs out of my teeth. But they sure don't protect me against tailgaters. Ah, shut up. Isn't that guy know if he blows a horn in my ear and might unnerve me? Make me lose control and have an accident and get hurt or worse. Besides, I'm not trying to hog the lane. Equal rights, that's all I ask for. I'm driving a legitimate, well-developed and highly specialized form of transportation. Oh, come on, shut up. Look, if you want to pass me, buddy, just tap your horn once or twice. Slightly, you know. Then you can pass me just like I was a regular car. You idiot! You don't slice a motorcyclist off. You move out completely into the passing lane. Is that the way you pass cars? You didn't listen to me. I'm glad that guy's going. Oh boy, here comes another one. Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed.