 For the safety of your smile use pepsidon twice a day see your dentist twice a year Lever Brothers Company presents the pepsidon show my friend Irma created by Cy Howard and starring Marie Wilson as Irma with Joan Banks as Jane Friendship Friendship Just the perfect friendship when other friendships have been forgotten There's will still be hot We used to get such a kick out of when we were kids You know the ones that went like this what has legs, but can't walk the answer was a table What has eyes, but can't see? Potatoes what has a head, but can't think what do you think the answer is a cabbage? Uh-uh, it's Irma Peterson Now don't get me wrong. I love the girl. It's just that sometimes she did well for instance the other day I was reading some fashion notes and I said Irma. Hey, yes, Jane. I can't understand it Just when we begin to get used to the longer skirts they start talking about making them shorter I wish they'd make up their minds. So do I my legs are getting dizzy See what I mean Well, maybe these remarks of Irma's jar me so much because twice a day I go through an ordeal that only a new york working girl can understand It's that subway ride from home to work and from work back home every day during the rush hours A little jamboree in which five million people Cram themselves into little boxcars and play a game called see who gets out alive Today I didn't quite make it Irma, do we have any mccuric chrome or iodine? No, Jane. All we have is root beer and coca-cola Please Irma. All I ask is a little mercy. I've been wounded Some big lug on the subway thought my ankle was a bar rail and tried to climb up it It's just terrible Jane the way those people shove and push and squirm on the subways I guess that's what they mean by the underground movement No Irma that is something else. Gee, I wish there was some other way we could get to work Well, maybe the bus would be better. No Jane. I took a bus last week and they're terrible. What do you mean? Well, when you get on there's a little sign that says please do not speak to the driver So I had to ride to the end of the line because I couldn't tell him where I wanted to get off Irma that sign means oh come in Hello Jane Irma. Oh Richard Saturday afternoon and you're not playing golf. I'm on my way to the club now But I just remembered you brought the files home with you on the Chelsea corporation. Uh, did you finish them? Yes last night. Well the auditors are coming this afternoon and they'll pick them up at the club I thought I'd save you a trip back to the office. Oh Richard how sweet of you Matter of fact, I'm not in much condition to travel Take a look at my ankle Looks pretty good to me You're looking at the wrong one Oh That one. Well, what happened? Oh, you wouldn't understand Richard But believe me some of the things that happen to us girls on the subway are enough to frighten the men out of their seats I wish we didn't have to take that subway Say Jane, I think I know something that might interest you A friend of mine's leaving for the Orient right away and he wants to dispose of his car at a very low price Why don't you and Irma buy it buy a car, but it's a wonderful value A 47 Nash with a lot of extras for only $1100 It also has a built-in bed. Well, we need a car, but I don't think that one is practical What do you mean? Suppose we're driving along and we oversleep reliable to Pass our stop and be late for work I Never mind Irma. Well, thanks anyway Richard, but I'm afraid that's more than we can afford Well, Jane, I'll be glad to help you finance it You think it over and let me know as soon as you can I have to run along now, but uh, you can reach me at home. Goodbye. Bye Richard Gosh Jane, I wish we did have a car We could go out and picnics and we can take Alan Richard That that would be nice sweetie, but I'm afraid it'd be too expensive for our pocketbooks But if we took Alan Richard, they'd share the expenses. Yes, I know Richard would buy the gas and Al would furnish the hot air for the tires Anyway, honey, that's not what I mean. You see we only have $380 in the cookie jar are total saving. I think we should save it for something something more important Come in It's only me, Professor Kropacki Hello, Jane. You know, I'm a girl's quick I got to get some newspapers and scotch tape because mrs. O'Reilly has mad at me And I got to cover the mirrors in her room Why cover the mirrors? She told me if she were a man she would punch me in the nose And if she doesn't get a chance to look in the mirror, maybe she'll go right down thinking she's a woman Oh, professor stop making up stories. Oh, no. No, she's really angrier to me. She says I insulted her insulted her Yes, last night we went to see a tale of two cities and then Marie Antoinette got her head cut off Mr. O'Reilly began to cry and I just happened to mention that I thought the same operation would improve her appearance Didn't know she was so touchy Tell me girls what's new Oh, we have a we have a chance to buy a car but Jane doesn't think we can afford it Well personally girls, I think it's a very good idea young people should have a car But when you're old like me, you don't like to run around with your girlfriend It's easier just to sit home on the sofa And at my age, you don't want a traffic signal to tell you when to stop and when to go Come in Oh girls Hello, mr. O'Reilly Don't you hello me you cut-rate Casanova now please the two of you Can't you ever say a civil word to each other what without ending up in a a collision or a collision jane? Why can't we get the car? Oh, no not that again Are you girls planning on buying a car? Richard has a friend who wants to sell us one at a bargain price, but jane is stubborn I guess she'd rather walk. You know be what they call a pediatrician Pedestrian Girls you ought to get a car. It's such fun Oh, I remember when I was a girl my boyfriend plancy had a roadster with a rumble seat And we used to take long rides in the country Oh, how I missed that car Don't feel too bad mr. O'Reilly you still got the rumble seat Well, all right the two of you let's let's stop the quarreling, huh? Yes, you're not setting a very good example You don't see jane and I fighting even though she's being mean and stubborn and won't buy a car Oh, no Irma. I'm going to settle this once and for all But what are you gonna do? I'm calling Richard Well, if you'll excuse me. I got to go brush the crumbs out of my bed Did you eat in bed last night? No this morning the bed is also my breakfast. No Goodbye Hello Richard Oh, no, I decided it's out of the question Well, yes, I I'd love to have a car, but we just can't afford it I knew you'd understand what Tonight Well, maybe I'll call you later. Goodbye There now, maybe we can forget about the car Jeannie, would you mind coming downstairs and help me help him lower the hem on the dress I bought last year That crazy professor doesn't like me legs to show He says they look like I'm walking on two pogo sticks Well, of course, Mrs. O'Reilly. I'll be right back Irma. Goodbye Irma darling Hiya chicken So well, honey. Hey, what's wrong with jane just passed her in the hall and she was limping Oh, yeah, someone stepped on her in the subway Had the same thing happened to me once when I was halfway under the turnstile Then guards have shoes like policemen Hey, what's wrong with you chicken? You look as sad as a school teacher on payday We have a chance to buy a car, but jane turned it down cold You think that's right Al? Well, the Chinese have an old saying it is later than you think What time is it Al? No chicken, this this is an old saying that means get what you can when you can so you will enjoy life Of course, we'll admit a number of my friends get life and they don't enjoy it Well, I think jane and I should enjoy life now. She doesn't have the courage. I think it's up to me Oh chicken if jane says don't do nothing don't do nothing Well, but I feel so miserable about it in that case chicken is only one thing to do How about a nice long walk in the fresh air? All right, Al. How about the park? Good Wake me up when you get back. I'll be right here on the sofa Just as bad as jane either one of you has any confidence in me. Good. Bye Al wake up. Just a minute officer. This is a public park and this may Al Jane must have dozed off. Sorry to break in on you during your working hours like this But where is Irma? Oh, she went out to cool off that business about you not buying a car seems to upset her Oh for heaven's sakes, if she's still on that kick, she ought to know we don't have any 1100 dollars to spend on a car Well, you don't have to spend that kind of dough jane a smart shopper can find all kinds of bargains if they know where to look You mean those jip joints like dirt cheap dugums the used car king Dirt cheap dugum that joint, of course not jane only a moron would go to a place like that Now where have you been? I just bought us a car at dirt cheap dugums So Don't think that you are safe from film Run the tip of your tongue over your teeth If you feel a slippery coating you have film and you need pepsidon with iriam to remove it For film is worse than you think film collect stains that make your teeth look dull But remember pepsidon toothpaste removes film Makes your teeth look bright film harbors germs that cause unpleasing breath true But pepsidon removes film makes your breath fresh and clean film glues acid to your teeth The very acid many dentists agree is the cause of tooth decay That's right, but pepsidon toothpaste removes film and the acids it contains film never lets up It forms continually on your teeth. Yes, you have to fight film every day So brush your teeth twice a day with pepsidon toothpaste Because no other toothpaste can duplicate pepsidon's film removing formula No other toothpaste contains iriam or pepsidon's gentle polishing agent So start now to fight film with pepsidon the toothpaste with an exclusive formula for removing film Has spent $380 every cent we had saved and bought a car from a man who is famous for giving the worst deals in town I haven't seen the car yet and frankly i'm afraid to look Irma explained that she bought the car to make me happy and i am happy I'm so happy i'm practically delirious Irma yes jane don't you know the dirt sheep duke and has the worst reputation in town That's not true jane i investigate him before i bought the car And the person i spoke to recommended him very highly and said he was upright fair and honest And who was this person you spoke to his mother Where is the car now right downstairs in front of the house come on jane let's go down look at him All right, just let me leave me get a handful of aspirin there i'm ready come on And here i stand but only because i'm practically bracing myself by holding on to the lamp post I have seen pictures of the ruins of Pompeii the chicago fire the wreck of the hespris But right now i am facing the disaster that topped them all I have never owned a car before but I've seen a lot of them and i was always under the impression that the headlight should be placed in such a way as to Light up the road ahead These are arranged so they light up each other And then there's another thing that puzzles me ermah. Yes jane. What is this wooden pole sticking up from the floorboards? Well, you see jane. It's a convertible. All right, there's a beach umbrella in the back seat that fits in the pole I could jane. Oh ermah, it's stunning How soon can you return it and get our money back? Return it? Why? Why? Well in the first place, honey How could you be fool enough to buy a car without a hood on the motor? The man says it's an air flow engine And we shouldn't block the circulation Believe me jane. This is a good car Hey, it has a lincoln body I can see it's a lincoln because pieces of his beard are sticking through the upholstery Oh, well, we could always have the seats recovered, but the car has a lot of improvements Look at that new windshield wiper. It must be pretty strong because it's wiped away the whole windshield Oh ermah, before I have a stroke take this car back and get our money Oh, but jane, you said you were tired of the subway and I saw that That's what started it. Now listen to me ermah peterson We worked hard to save that three hundred and eighty dollars And i'm not going to stand by and see it wasted on a car like this Why this thing must bring back the horse Well, he knows all about cars now jane. You'll see how wrong you are. Oh jane. Hiya chicken Hey, what's the idea of mrs. O'Reilly putting the rubbish cans out on saturday? Those aren't rubbish cans You're kidding No, she isn't oh el. What can I do chicken? How could you ever buy a pile of junk like this? Well, please don't think I'm stupid. I got a written service guarantee a service guarantee Read it Uh, this is service if you don't tell your friends where you bought this car Ermah you have been swindled and I think there's only one way to get action on this We are going down to the department of motor vehicles. All right jane It's half your money. If you think you've spent it foolishly. I Guess it's the only thing to do Well hop in everybody. I'll take the wheel and I'll take the seat next to al and I'll take a cab Come on jane. There must be something to this car. Maybe it has a motor Hang on everybody. Here we go Logan said that all the cylinders are hitting hitting they sound like they're beating each other to death Never heard such weird sounds coming out of a car Mr. Dugan explained that too. He says if you put some under seal on the car, it'll stop the noise This car shouldn't be sealed under it should be buried under Oh Terrific bump just ran over a wet cigarette I must have weak spring. Well, we aren't the bureau of motor vehicles all out all out. We've been pushing it for the last two blocks Now look ermah when we get inside you tell the man in the motor vehicle department that you want immediate action But but I don't know what to say jane. Well, just uh just tell him that You think it's about time something is done to protect girls like you from swindlers like dirt cheap Dugan And and that it's up to the city to press charges Now is that clear? I think so jane. Let's see. Uh, I think it's about time press charges against girls like me And it's up to the city to do it dirt cheap You better let me do the talking come on. Let's go How do you do can I help you friend this here young lady bought a used car from dirt cheap Dugan for $380 And a kind of phrase my chicken has been plucked As soon as you mentioned dirt cheap Dugan, I understand the situation But unfortunately it doesn't come under our jurisdiction. Sorry. Oh, well come on kids Now what maybe I can do something you've done enough for one day Just go on home erm and stay there. Don't buy anything. Don't look at anything. Just sit there until I come back Well, where you going jane? I'm gonna stop by and talk to richard. Maybe he can tell me a way to get our money back Okay, jane. Come on chicken. I'll drive you back to the house. All right, al Uh, but this time will you drive backwards? I think some things fell off the car on the way down here and I won't look for them Well, mr. Rhinelander, I'm certainly glad you brought miss stacey in We here at the allied automobile club have been swamped with complaints And we've been looking all over for the right kind of evidence and from the description of your car, miss stacey I'm sure it's just what we need to win our case fine Now what I'll give you a check for the full amount you spent miss stacey And our man will pick up the car right away. Oh, that's wonderful. Thanks ever so much, mr. Johnson I realize our car was in such bad condition till you flipped your cigar ice is on the fender and the fender fell off It might as well know the rest of it chicken remember that time I had to stop for the red light and the hurry and jam my foot on the brake Yes, I remember the car stopped that was only because my foot went through the floorboards And my heels scraped the paper Chicken let's face it. We got to get rid of that car. It's got a carp in the motor even a four-way cold tablet wouldn't fit What about jane? She's seeing richard. Yeah, richard never gets things done got to do it ourselves And in a case like this there's only one man to call Who else who else but hello joe? Ah got a problem have a car got to get our money out of it. What is the quickest method? Huh? File the serial numbers off the engine give it a fast paint job and just make sure not to sell it to a cop No, no joe this car ain't hot besides there's nothing to hold it together while you spray the paint on Yeah, joe. It's a wreck. What else do you suggest? Uh-huh Uh-huh Thanks, joe and goodbye noble friend Chicken joe has got a touch of genius. We're all set. Oh wonderful. How what do we do? Raffle off the car by selling tickets around the neighborhood at a buck a throw Well, is this honest? Well, certainly chicken no matter how you look at it. This car is worth a buck And besides a lot of people are joining pyramid clubs and this will teach them not to gamble Anything I'll get our money back so Jen will be happy first thing we do is make out the raffle ticket Where's the pencil? Here you are Al. Yeah. Now what to see on let's see Oh Raffle do you like to take rides in the country? Or are you the kind of a person who enjoys looking at old relics in the museum? Or perhaps you crave excitement like riding a buck and bronco Here is your chance to have all three for one dollar Drawing to be held tonight You like it chicken? Oh, it sounds wonderful I'll get some paper and we'll write out all the tickets right chicken Then we make a list of all our enemies and pay them a friendly visit It can wait Irma Al our worries are over. Thanks to Richard the auto club is giving us our money back for the car A man's coming right over to pick it up so they can use it as evidence. Isn't that wonderful? But why are you two staring at each other like this? Al why did you suddenly turn pale? Eh I'm anemic And Irma what about you? I do impersonations too Look you two something's going on around here, and I want to know what it is now out with it Well, Jane you see we got panicky So we sold 380 raffle tickets on your car so you would get your money back Oh Irma Al how could you do this? Well the car doesn't belong to us anymore we can go to jail People probably coming for the grand drawing. Come in Hello miss Stacy Oh Mr. Johnson from the allied auto club. I suppose you've come after the car No, no you see I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for that check we gave you We just learned that dirt cheap do gonna skip the country so naturally we'll have to drop the case I'm terribly sorry. Oh, I see Well, here's your check. Thank you. Goodbye Well there you see Jane the car is ours. We go through with the raffle and we come out even But Al is it fair to our friends to charge a dollar for a car like that? Oh, I guess it's all right. Oh, of course They could probably sell it somewhere for a dollar to whom well to a railroad company They can leave it by a crossing to warn people with a sign that says Mr. Motorist this could happen to you Don't think that you are safe from film nearly everyone has it Just run your tongue over your teeth. You feel a slippery coating That's film and you'd better get pepsidant toothpaste to remove it For film collect stains that make teeth look dull It harbors germs that cause unpleasing breath Film glues acid to your teeth The very acid that many dentists agree is the cause of tooth decay And remember film never lets up So brush your teeth twice a day with film removing pepsidant No other toothpaste can duplicate pepsidant film removing formula Get pepsidant with erium today And guess who won that unreasonable facsimile of a car? Professor Kropotkin And Irma thought it was wonderful Irma, why do you think it's wonderful? Well, the professor always says he lives in a junk pile Now he can drive around in one And you know if I ever go out of my mind It's because it's been driven out of my head And I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that Now I'm out of my head by my friend Irma My friend Irma has produced and directed by Si Howard Park Levy writes the script with Stanley Adams and Roland McClain And it is brought to you by pepsidant toothpaste with erium Another fine product of Lieberbrothers Company Marie Wilson has starred as Irma with Joan Banks as Jane The part of Al was played by Jon Brown Monts Connery was heard as Professor Kropotkin and Gloria Gordon has visited Riley Music was under the direction of Vlad Brest you're a careful driver perhaps but are you careful enough to allow for the carelessness of other drivers for your own sake keep your speed down to such a level that you'll have complete control of your car in emergencies and no and obey traffic laws this is Wendell Niles speaking the RISK brisk flavor that's what you get in Lipton tea yes brisk flavor that picks you up brings you back alive in a hurry brisk flavor that comes from Lipton's very special blending of the finest orange pico and pico teas try it you'll find that this brisk flavor of Lipton's leaves you refreshed and ready to go again and you can enjoy it often because even wonderful tea like Lipton's cost less than any drink except water always ask for Lipton tea the brisk tea with that heartwarming tune in one hour earlier next week and listen to the lux radio theater followed by the pepsi to show my friend Irma both brought to you by lever brothers company this is CBS the Columbia Broadcasting System