 You can probably tell that I'm really tired Today I am doing a diagnosis story. Wow Diagnosis story is like a timeline diagnosis timeline a little heads up at the beginning my diagnosis has changed a Stupid amount since I was 13 years old to now. It has changed So much. I do want to say this as well. Do not take this as self-diagnosing professional advice Take this as me sharing part of my life and maybe it's a little bit educational about other mental health conditions These conditions have all been diagnosed by mental health professionals So we'll start with at 13 years old when I was diagnosed with bipolar type 1 So I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when I was experiencing my first major psychotic episode Which consisted of me following a blurry light and moving shadows The moving shadows I'll get onto in a bit because that still happens to me I'm not chasing any glowing light and I'm not convinced my family are trying to poison me anymore In case you didn't know it's my little segment I remember got very deep into delusions and hallucinations it was chaos because I was hearing voices but I was also young enough to not really Understand mental health also in my family history is basically bipolar. My mom's bipolar both my grandparents have bipolar and then My grandma's mother so my great-nann had bipolar basically bipolar runs so strongly in my family That it would be pretty much impossible for me not to have it I believe there is some illness on my dad's side the family, but I don't have any contact with them So I don't that that's a story for another video why I don't what's my dad's side for my I was on two medications for bipolar Initially, I was on lithium didn't last very long I got hydrodehydrated and the hydration generally speaking isn't a good thing and then I got started on two depicote Which as far as I'm aware is actually an anti-convulsant or it's used for bipolar treatment I took that for over a year. That was that between the ages of 14 and 60 and I got diagnosed with anxiety I had bipolar already diagnosed and I became anorexic and I didn't need at all I never ate a single meal while I was in secondary school at that school I got to a point where I Couldn't bring myself to eat and my mom sat me at a table and said do you not leave until you ate and I Literally picked the plate up and threw it across the room and I went and there we go it's empty and there's water at the house The anxiety I am looking at it from how my life has been I'd say I've always got with anxiety and I definitely do still now like this morning I was at work and I something I supposed to do and then I was freaking out about maybe I didn't do it right and That's still playing on my mind, but oh well with anxiety. I'm currently I currently take medication for this I take clonazepam for my anxiety three times a day that I honestly I forget to take it I was running the evening dose, but the ones I was having the day I part from today. I forget normally Yeah, that shows how addictive that is. So let's move on to when I was 1780 and now around this You can probably tell that I'm really tired say it a lot of things happened Right a lot of things and in my opinion. I think I should have been diagnosed a PTSD then Well, I was I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder depression anxiety EDMS Insomnia and Wiprola I was a complete mess I've told the story a few times, but during that time frame one of my exes commit suicide in country And that was a quite black traumatizing to be honest and I'm not age I became really hard to be around. I was I just cried all the time. I was Miserable, I don't know. It's kind of scary to look back at them. I'm just like oh my god I can literally see in photos like how much I didn't care. My sleep was an issue then like I don't know I haven't I've been on sleeping tablets for like four years nearly which is quite a long time, but they still work and Honestly, I can't sleep without taking something but on that age I Really really began to trigger my mental health and that's kind of when I started this channel So the depression became very obvious. You could tell from how I acted from my lack of motivation Walking out of college Overdosing self-harm is probably gets worse than as well like was a horrible time So now we're gonna fast-forward to between the ages of 18 and 22. I'm 22 now So between the ages of 18 and 22 a lot my diagnosis as it stands is Dpdr, which is depersonalization and de-realization PTSD anxiety depression Borderline and bipolar and I'm pretty sure I'm still diagnosed with ED and OS Because I keep getting given nutrition shakes and they're starting to really do my head in the new diagnosis came around after the 16th of the 6th 2018 which was the day that a lot of shit went wrong like that day There's a reason I can remember that day and that is because that is the day I got a rest And I got arrested because I was seeking and I got assaulted when I was in custody I don't want to sit and talk about that although I have to I'm not going to be talking about it really All charges against me got dropped and thrown out of court They literally got left out of court the magistrates sided with me the prosecution sided with me There really wasn't any evidence against me the evidence my solicitor used was my own custody record Which I did read out in a live stream last year after that incident I got diagnosed with Realization and that's closed associating a lot and one of the main incidents that I remember is where I saw ghost people but This is like this is a story So story time I Was out walking. I did that a lot when I lived in Lancashire. I used to go out for walks every night I'd walk 16,000 steps ish in a day. Well, I'd walk a lot this night. I was out walking and I saw a person Or at least I thought I said Is that what I saw a person and then they half disappeared and you know filmed and someone goes like ghost outlining I always saw that and because of how real it felt and literally seeing this happen So it's not like it was in my head. I was physically seeing it I ended up running around a random estate in Preston that I honestly I've tried looking on maps Right to try and find out where the hell I was and I have never been able to work out running around there And I literally phone the police saying I'm gonna sound crazy There are ghost people chasing me and then these ghost figures turned into birds that were flying off landposts into me And I remember screaming I drove I broke my phone that night as well I woke up in the morning and I thought all that was a dream only when I went on my phone and check my Call that I saw the number that I called three digits. I was like, oh that actually happened And that was a long time ago, but I've had similar incidents happen to that. Yeah, that was it That was the night. I wish I could say it was because of drugs now cold But it really wasn't because that was around the time that I completely just stopped using cocaine and Again, that is a story for another time. I also stopped drinking around the same time I've got diagnosed a PTSD Technically last year because everyone until that point had said oh, it's just a ppp Like it gave it was very obvious and I have been saying the same thing since the beginning of it all But there's a lot of diagnosis that I'm not convinced that I agree with all of them But they are all that I do take medication to manage my mental health And I have no regrets in saying that at all my diagnosis is still open to change and honestly I expect it will because there are a lot of things that could kind of merge into one diagnosis But like not a professional. I'm gonna leave that business down to them If you are interested in what medications I take I did make a separate video talking about psychiatric medication So this is a brief timeline of like my diagnosis obviously things have changed a lot of things have changed and Like said I expect they'll continue to change because really with mental health you're not treating the condition you are treating the symptoms that present I Said this back when I just I know first. I know it's BPD. It's not about treating the disorder It's about treating the symptoms of it the trying to treat the symptoms Not the disorder as I'm sure most of you know BPD has got no licensed medication to treat it But a lot of people BPD are medication for the depression for the anxiety for the dissociation For coping with things like this There are medications to help with the symptoms and I think that's just the thing that should be shown across mental health There is no pill that someone could give me that would stop the PTSD. There is no pill exists They exist that will get rid of the bipolar. There's no pill exists that will get me over with the dissociation You know, that's life and you know, that's and I hope this video has been educational in some way or insightful Insightful, that's the right word. New video coming out tomorrow. I'm posting it every day at the minute because I'm working early is and kind of need to rinse it for my afternoon with so Not sure what I'm doing tomorrow for tomorrow's video, but we'll pass that bridge when I get to it So for now if you aren't here make sure you hit the subscribe button Also, if you didn't know I have a merch shop instead of over here My medication can't control your stupidity because it can't I also have stickers and other fun stuff over on there I'll make sure it's linked in the description down below and if you want to become a patreon That link is also down below any and all support for this channel is hugely appreciated Whether it's the comment whether it's a share whether you become patreon while you hit the like button Every little thing helps and that's wrong at the end of the video