 For me, it's about the time and the opportunity costs a lot of high income earning women. They tend to not be nurturing, they tend to be inherently disagreeable. They tend to be unpleasant people. It works phenomenally if you're trying to make a partner at the law firm. It doesn't work so well inside. Alright, you ready? Okay, so I'm going to start easy. What's one thing that women don't understand about men based on what you've seen, that if we did, we would receive better outcomes with them? Good ass question. I thought that was an easy question. Women don't understand, but if they did, they'd receive better outcomes. Men are simple. Part of that is we need space and we need freedom. Unfortunately, because women are nurturing it by nature, sometimes you smother us and it doesn't give us the space to really stretch our legs and the opportunity to miss you. Even when I think in my life, the women who have been the most memorable, it tends to be women who have their own life that they're happy with. What I mean by that, I don't mean a career, necessarily a career woman or whatever, but she's not looking for me to entertain her, whereas the vast majority of women are looking for a man for their own entertainment and for their own kind of satisfaction and not necessarily thinking about things from its perspective. So I think if I could change that one thing, it would have better outcomes. Just understanding that men are simple and that they need space. Okay. There's a lot more to that, but I'm trying to be succinct in these answers. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I'm seeing a lot of women, and you probably maybe have heard this too, of women complaining that in the past they have literally begged, pleaded, trying to get men to do certain things or treat them certain ways, and then they end up breaking up with this man and then see him with another woman shortly after and is doing all of the things that she was trying to get him to do for her. And so it's bringing this idea or this notion of if he wanted to, he would. Do you think that that's accurate, that if you're not getting what you want from this man, it's probably because he just doesn't want to, you're not the one? If he moves on shortly after, yes. If it takes some time, like if it's like five years later, 10 years later you see him and now he has a family, whereas he didn't want to commit to you, then it might have just been a maturity thing. He wasn't in a place in life where he was ready for that. But I think for instance, we talk about the divorce rate and it's 50-something percent and 80% are initiated by women. I do think that's incomplete, right? Because although women initiate divorces or breakups, men check out. You know, so there are men who are married or in relationships, but in an attempt not to hurt the woman's feelings, in an attempt not to be the bad guy or in marriage, in an attempt not to lose everything, he'll just, you know, white knuckle it and be like, you know, I'm gonna just hang in there. But all the love and feelings that he had for the woman might be gone. But yeah, it depends on the time, the time period. And the man. It's interesting that you say that because I do hear the divorce rate situation getting brought up a lot. And then the onus is on women that women are not sticking through. Women are not built like how their grandmothers were. Women are not, they're breaking up their homes or homewrecking their own households and stuff like that without that extra context. Yeah, right. And I think both things can be true. Yeah, because it's hard to measure the men who are just sticking in there. But I think that's part of the that's part of this that can't be really measured. But I do know, like, you rarely see men break up with a woman. That was my next question. You see what I'm saying? You rarely see men fall for divorce unless the lady is fucking crazy. But typically, men, we tend to good men, we tend to kind of take ownership and must be me, you know, and then we're fed all these things, you know, from the time we start dating, if the relationship is going well, it's because she's a phenomenal woman. If the relationship is going bad, it's because you're not a good enough man. Right. So a lot of men think, OK, I just need to stick in there, especially if they've made the decision to commit to you, they've made the decision to marry you. Because the other piece, too, is on an ego level, I don't want to admit that I made the wrong decision. OK. So I'm gonna stick in there until I can prove myself right. But sometimes that that's detrimental. I was going to ask you that question because I've heard men say that before, that I don't break up with women. This is what they said. Well, this is what this one said. Well, he said I make them so miserable that they break up with me. I don't know about that. But essentially, I mean, when you have checked out of the relationship, you people can tell like she can tell she is miserable. She knows that you're not as affectionate as you were as a tenant. You don't really care what she's doing. You like are just kind of like women can tell and it does make them miserable. That's interesting. Thank you, Alan. I think it will change, though. How? I think one of the benefits. At least that I'm excited of when it comes to this. Even though they are negative parts, but this whole man is fair dialogue is men are finally learning that we don't have to tolerate everything. We don't have to. We're not always the problem. It's important for us to be happened to, you know, like we're brought up on a whole happy wife, happy life. It's really happy spouse, happy house. Right. So so men are saying that. Yeah, if this woman isn't living up to her end of the bargain, you know, I have every right to leave. Now, unfortunately, when it comes to like child support and alimony and divorce court and stuff like that, there's still hesitations. But I think generally men are saying, you know, I matter to. So I have a question going off of that because I know Kevin Samuels would talk about this often when women would say that they got divorced because they weren't happy. And he was like marriage isn't about happiness in your vows. You're not. Happiness isn't a part of its duty and all these things. How do you think? Or what do you think is the appropriate way to balance that? Because I don't necessarily think it is productive, even for the children if you are in a marriage that's not filled with some semblance of happiness at some point, but then at the same time, I do think that there is duty associated with the commitment of being in a relationship or being married to someone. So how do you balance that? Because you're not going to be happy all the time. Right. No, it's not about happiness or it is definitely not about the other person making you happy, right? Because I don't think another person can make you happy. If you're unfulfilled within yourself, nobody can fill that void but you. But it's about holding up your end of the bargain, because I don't think happy is the reason why you get married. Right. I don't think love is the reason why you get married. I think it's duty. I think it's purpose primarily. And then you start talking about love and you start talking about happy. But I think that's more about a mutual respect, mutual understanding, mutual purpose. But I haven't figured this out completely. But we are in a very individualistic era and for most people, happy is part of the deal. And if you are not making me happy or maintaining my level of happy, it doesn't matter what else you do. I'm going to take my business elsewhere, and especially given the fact that we don't really need each other to fulfill the roles that we used to need each other to fulfill in the modern sense. But yeah, I don't know. But I'm interested to see how this new this new wave of men saying, we're not going to take it. It's going to it's going to pan out. OK, OK. Going off of that, that brings me to a question that I wasn't going to ask next, but we're going to go there. So I think I've seen a lot of important or men put a lot of importance on provision, being the like providing and things of that nature. But there is more to being a father and a husband than just providing. Do you think that the majority of men, because I don't see them talking about that, like I hear them talk about pieces of it, like leading and things like that. But do you think that men are completely understanding that there is more to being a father and a husband than just providing? You think they understand that? I think we understand, for instance, there's more to being an NFL athlete than just being physically fit. But even if you have the intangibles, if you're not physically fit, you will be kicked out of the NFL. So because men tend to be ton of vision, you could even say myopic in a way, we're going to focus on the most important thing. And from a male point of view, the most important thing is your ability to provide. You could be a phenomenal whatever. But if you can't do this thing, nobody's going to look at these things and just like work, right? Like if you're not hitting these numbers, even if you're a great team player and you maintain the company culture, those things can help prolong how long it is before they fire you. But if you're not doing this first thing that we hired you for, those things don't matter. So in men's defense, we understand, you know, it's other things. I think what's complex or what's complicated, right, is like. You hear women, for instance, say I want a six-figure man. I want a CEO. I want a doctor. I want a lawyer. I want to pilot without understanding that those careers are the careers that lead to a man making more than 90 percent of people. Means he's not going to have time, right? You know, he's he might not be around, right? You know, he he he also might not be the most nurturing person. And there's a tradeoff in life. And unfortunately, as long as we keep hearing those things prioritized, and we understand that the the toll to pay to make six figures and to be the boss of bosses and things like that is that I have to sacrifice time. We're going to we're going to prioritize first thing first. So I think the thing that confuses me about that part is if we know that the the average man makes what what is the amount? I think forty seven forty seven thousand, which arguably isn't enough to support, completely provide for a family of four or five. Like it's it's very difficult to support that many people on that salary. It would I would think similar to some of those like sports analogies that I've heard you say in the past. If you know that you are potentially, for lack of a better word, deficient in this area, then wouldn't it behoove you to focus on some of those other things that maybe are not number one? But if you know that your number one, which is providing you can't completely do that on your salary alone, like wouldn't it stand a reason to focus more on some of those other things that are lower? We do. But the problem is there's not a huge demand from the female delegation for teachers. There's not a huge demand from the female delegation of of middle income earners, middle managers and things like. There's not a huge demand. Now, I've been saying to women that, yeah, the most nurturing guy you're going to meet is probably a teacher. He's probably a coach. He's probably making thirty forty thousand dollars a year. But again, you don't see him because he's not checking this first box. You don't see him because he's not six foot. You don't see him because he doesn't walk into a room and light it up because he's an average dude, right? So again, it's just like with natural selection. Like if if nature, the species keep selecting for this trait in following generations, that's the trait you're going to see. So it's no, you know, it's no mistake that even the young boys now they they are prioritizing income. Because again, that's what the girls want. If the girls wanted something different or prioritized something different before income, then we would see men fixate on that. OK, but for the ones that want to get married and income is not. I mean, you can change it. You can get these men can have two and three jobs, I guess, to compensate and make more money. Exactly. They could do it if they want to, I guess. But most people are not going to go out and have three jobs. Because like you said, there's there's tradeoffs to that as well. So dealing with what you have before you, because, yes, if given a preference woman, a woman would probably say, yes, I would like my man to make over six figures because obvious for obvious reasons, you know. But given the fact that there are a shortage of those men, so these women are going to end up either all choosing the same man or choosing someone that does not fit in that criteria. I it seems like it would make sense for. So now if income is not a factor, because I'm now dealing with men that are not making the income that I want. So now I'm going down the list. So like whatever number two is, I don't know, after providing what number two would be necessarily today. Yeah, what do you think number two is? Clout clout today. You think that's right under the ability to provide? I honestly, I think low key clout is above the ability to provide. So you like a man's status. Like I, you know, if given two guys, everything's equal. Guy one makes money. Guy two has a blue check mark. Guy two is going to it's going to get more more hoes. That's that's the really today. Then the man with the money. Really, that's interesting. Yeah, the guy with the money might actually be paying the guy with the blue check mark to help get him women. OK, so that's I think that's that stands another question. So what do men, because we talk a lot about what like women don't understand what men want. And then we talk about OK, they want fit, feminine, friendly, peaceful, beautiful, inspirational, discerning, all these things. What do men think women want, aside from six foot, six figures? Because I don't hear anybody talking about anything outside of physical. So is the assumption then that women only care about these superficial things? Or is there an acknowledgement that there are other things that women actually like the type of women that you want, because that's the conversation all the time for the women, the type of man that you want? I think a lot of attention is given to the type of women that y'all actually don't even want. So you're talking about these women that you don't even really want what they want. They want the six feet, six feet. So I think I think the difference, though, is that male nature prioritizes. Quantity, right? Where it's female nature prioritizes, right? Making it as a man means being attracted to the majority of women. Yeah, making it as a woman means being attracted to the guy. The highest level guy, yeah. So based on that, what we're looking at is different. So men do have to concern themselves with what is it that the vast majority of women want? What is it that the vast majority of women are looking for? I agree with you that we need to be more specific and specialized. But starting off, yeah, we're going to look at big numbers. We're going to look at how can I be considered attractive or an eligible bachelor to every woman? Um, with that being said, I think you ask the question, what is it that men think women want? Yeah. Because when you're talking about all women, you're also talking about the strippers. You're talking and I think that's why you then hear men. I've seen some of the angry men in the comments that talk about these women are choosing Pookie and Ray Ray. I have never chosen a Pookie or a Ray Ray. So I am not the type of woman that chooses those. But y'all seem to be hyper focused on the type of woman that would then go and choose a Pookie and Ray Ray over them. So talking about the type of overwhelming majority that choose Pookie and Ray Ray. I don't think that's the overwhelming majority. No, I think there are enough of those women where that stereotype can have a place to live, like where we can choose. Like, you know, we can show people that has happened to. But I don't even have any friends that I can say have chosen Pookie Ray. But I acknowledge too that everything is experience and exposure. So maybe the people that I hang around just don't necessarily birds with feather tend to flock together. Sure. You think the overwhelming majority of women deal with Pookie's and Ray Ray's to give a more nuanced answer and it kind of answers the other question. I think most women want excitement at what stage, though, you think across the lifespan, that's what women want across. Low key. You think I'll say this, I'll say this because. Typically, like when you when you start drilling down into the reasons why men leave women versus women leave men, typically when a man leaves a woman, typically he'll say she changed. OK, when I met her, she was this young, vivacious, bubbly, exciting person. But then she became a mother. She became boring. She became frumpy in the whole nine. Yeah, temperamental the whole nine. Ironically, what women typically say is that he didn't change. OK, you know, I'm saying he's still that little boy. You know, I'm saying he didn't mature. He just got older. So which tells me that women's norm relative to men, women's norm is ebbs and flows is fluctuation. It's ups and downs. It's the rollercoaster of life, which is a beautiful thing. Men's whole thing, men's whole kind of modus operandi, I'm probably butchering that, but it's to like maintain. OK, it's to it's to it's to consistency, consistency is to keep shit going, even bad things. I'm a drug dealer. I want to keep Dylan drives at this level or the highest level. Whereas women, it tends to I want to experience all the the range of emotional expression and and and everything that life has to offer. So I think because of that, we kind of we look at at different things. But I think more than just, oh, he's a pookie and array and he's a ray rate, he tends to be more exciting. He tends to be less predictable. He tends to be a little bit more spontaneous. Now, do those things translate to Good Father? No, good launcher partner. No, but we can't under under like under represent the effects of women literally being beat over the head since you were girls with these fairy tales that always end on a high note. Right, or these movies that always end on a high, the Bonnie and Clyde or the Cinderella's in the whole nine, the Fifty Shades of Grey. So, unfortunately, fortunately, unfortunately, or unfortunately, I think most women's fantasy is the unpredictability and the spontaneity and of life. Whereas men, we're just trying to like keep things together and go on one duration. Again, not all women, but I think the vast majority do want like some kind of storybook fairy tale rom-com love. OK. OK. That's interesting. I think that's the the difference, maybe in man and women in terms of the thinking, because when I hear a woman that has been married for a long period of time, say that he didn't change as a reason not to be with him anymore, I think that I interpret that as buying into potential. That I don't think men I don't think men buy into potential as it pertains to women. I think when men find a woman and choose to marry her. Exactly. The expectation is that she won't change. She will be the exact same. And that's honestly not realistic. It's not because she has kids. She becomes a different person. She's a she's you know, body changes. Exactly. She's a body change, vagina change. Yeah. I already change. And I think women buy into potential. And then it's like, well, my expectation was that he would grow, that he would become in a lot of ways different than what he was when I met him. Like I had faith in him changing for the better. Right. And it kind of begs the question, like, who is because because even you repeating that, I see flaws in both ways of things. Yeah. You know, like the ball in his his his girl, what's his name, the ball or something, but he's he's an actor. And him and his wife are supposed to be like relationship goals. And I remember what you're talking about. Yeah, I can't remember his last name. But I remember they were having a conversation and they were talking about their podcast. They were talking about like sex and have to be married for a long time. And I think they came up like, what is it like having sex with the same person for a long fucking time? And it was interesting to me because whereas she described it as he described it as eating the same food. OK, she described it as eating at the same restaurant. Oh, I like that. Which is what is interesting? Because either same food, like pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza versus, you know, maybe today I have pizza next to have calzone next to have. I like that, though. But I think it goes to show the expectation that we have as far as the dimension and the range of individual that we are attaching ourselves to. And I don't think most people give that any thought. I think they just kind of go in with those unspoken expectations. And again, whereas people do have range, right? Successful men tend not to. Hexbound on that, please. Because think about it like even to become a doctor, you have to be in school for ten years. It's a long time. So naturally, everything you're going to do, talk about, think about is medicine. Yeah. In order to become a CEO, you have to do diligence for 20 years, whatever the case may be. So to be successful, especially as a man, you have to specialize. And specializing means you eat, sleep, drink this thing. So again, the men who are allowed the freedom of expression, they tend to be artists and things like that. Some of them make it, but the vast majority are bombs. Don't get rowed. So do you want stability? Which unfortunately is going to be less exciting, more predictable for the vast majority. Now, there are some men who figured out a balance. Or do you want spontaneity and unpredictability in this and this and that? So then that would also imply going to this whole polygamist situation, which I'm not going to get too much into that because people get upset about that conversation. And I don't have that many opinions about it. I just know what I'm doing, what I'm not doing. But that would beg like the reasonable thing with what you said is, OK, if predictability tends to breed success, then wouldn't it? Also stand to reason, potentially, that the predictability of a single partner in a monogamous situation would tend to be or would be thought to be more successful in the long run, but I don't think it's thought about that way. I think I think what most people are going to prioritize is the lifestyle he can provide me so I can create the excitement for myself. You know, we can we can we can take the cutesy pictures on Instagram. So even if I'm not having a good time, I can convince. And I think this speaks more so to our society at large, not just women. But the most fun I have is convincing other people that I'm having fun. The best the best thing is is not necessarily enjoying this concert, but giving other people FOMO through this Instagram video that I'm shooting, right? Like I've seen people at the club, they're chilling, maybe they're in VIP. They're just chilling, you know, drinking this and that. But as soon as somebody pull out a camera phone, they're having the time of their life because again, it's about making other people want to be me because I don't even know if I want to be me. Right. So I think at a certain level of a man's success or a man's money and that's where the clout comes in, because it might not be that I like future, but like there are places he can take me there that other men can't. There are things that I can do and buy and experience that other men. So even though I may not like him, but there are things that he affords me, which obviously is unsustainable. But again, we're now prioritizing sustainability these days. You hit on this earlier. This wasn't one of the things I was going to ask you, but you made the statement about essentially that men get cues from what women prioritize and women incentivize some of the negative behaviors that we see with when we talk about these pookies and ray rays, which I'm not 100% sure what a pookie and a ray ray is, but I hear people talking about it. However, I have seen in our conversation, some men got very upset when I said that certain women can help inspire men to produce better versions of themselves. So it seems like there's like this disconnect where men feel comfortable to attribute negative impacts that women make on them. Like we can influence them to have multiple women and to just do all these things because we're incentivizing it, but then we're not incentivizing, we're not able to incentivize positive behavior. Why do you think that is? No, that's all you can't raise a man. Right. I think what women can do is inspire a man to be a better version of himself, to become a better version of himself. So I think that infers that the himself is already set. Right. Like he, his aspirations, his vision of the man he wants to build is already set. And if a woman comes along who is in lockstep of the direction he was going in anyway, I think she can expedite that process. But as far as a woman taking a man from this path and putting him on this path and ain't enough wiping the world to do that. Because I feel like that's essentially what I said in our conversation that they can inspire better versions of themselves. And something got really upset about that, saying like, they're in a woman on this, on this planet. I think somebody said that they were like, there's not a woman on this planet that can. Well, and I think that speaks to like how we understand it because the distinction I just made is in a distinction a lot of women make. Okay. You know, I think the vast majority of women, unfortunately, give themselves too much credit in their ability to redirect the man. Right. Now, another thing not to do is to be behind a man and push him. Right. No, that's, that's, that's not to the best analogy I can think of in my head. Have you, have you ever seen a Olympic curling? No, yeah, it's like when somebody like they'll help me. Yeah, they'll slide his big ass rock and then somebody to be in the front, like shaving the ice. That's the best analogy I can give. But as far as pushing or pulling, that man will resent you because he'll never feel like he built that man for himself. Right. Now a woman, like I said, in the lubrication, double entendre is there, but for me, when I'm advising women, I just say, Hey, figure, find a man who's going in the direction that you want to go and, you know, help the way that you can to make that way clear. But what we see most of these days is like husband, son situation. Yeah. Women literally want to mold a man and redirect his path and make him everything that she wants for herself. Right. And only resentment comes from that. So I think men's reflex is that we're seeing more not of what you're talking about, but we're seeing more of the opposite. Okay. Just trying to push him in a completely different trajectory than what he even wanted. And it's nuanced too, right? Because I remember there was this young lady, I was having a conversation with years ago in Charlotte. She was part of this organization and she said that she moved to Charlotte because she wanted to find a black man. Really? And she was saying that, you know, she did research and she figured out this would be a better city than the city that she came from. And she was like, I'm even, you know, I'm even willing to date a mechanic. And, you know, in a couple of years, you know, you know, with my connections and my know-how, we can build it out into mechanic franchise. Which told me, no, you don't want to date a mechanic. Yeah. You want an entrepreneur who's just being a mechanic right now. Right. Those are two different men. But unfortunately, what's going to happen if she does find that mechanic, it's not going to work out because she's going to be imposing other expectations of him than the expectations he has of him. And then kind of portraying him as having a lack of ambition or, yeah, that is problematic for sure. Yeah. And then there's unspoken resentment because, you know, you're not what I thought you were, even though they never told you. And I'm guilty of that too. Men are guilty of that as well. But yeah, that's what tends to happen. Okay. Okay. That made me think of something else. So I've, I've heard Steve Harvey even talks about this. He writes about it in his book. Not that you're going to agree with it, though. No, there's like this idea that men need to get to a certain place financially within their career, professionally, all these things before they can settle down. Right. But women often, and I feel like men are going to disagree with this, but I believe that women in mass feel this way, that they would be okay with working with him to accomplish what he wants to accomplish, but men want to do it on their own. And then come back and settle down once they already have gotten to where they want to be. I think it's for two reasons. And these aren't, these aren't going to sound good. I think reason number one is less bad. But reason number one is, you know, just from an ego perspective, I want to feel like I built him by myself. I don't want anybody ever to be able to say I made you or you wouldn't have been shit without me. Yeah. That's number one. Number two, and this is the less popular reason, but it's like, I'm going to go back to sports. I like analogies a lot, but it's like, you know, I want to negotiate, you know, my contract when I'm at my peak, I don't want to lock myself into a 10 year deal. Oh my gosh. When I'm just entering the league, like I want to leave it a little bit. So, so, and then you'll see, you know, for instance, you know, Kai said, then he get on Leah's for a white girl. Like, yeah, for men who don't want to see that, we want to, you know what I'm saying? We want to see what the best we can do is. And sometimes it means getting to that point and realizing that what you had is better. There's a, there's a saying, there's a song out there and a saying in Igbo culture is Kim Jika. It means what I have is greater. And sometimes it takes going out and seeing that what you have is great and shit in the street. So whatever the case may be, but like, I think what women fail to realize is the miscommunication is like, as a woman, especially if you're attracted, you've been in the league since you were 15. You've been negotiating contracts. You've been playing overseas saying you've been, you know, living a life. You've been driving across the whole nine. I just got a league at 35. I just got in the league at 30, meaning that I just not got the six-figure job. I just not got the cloud. I just now I'm starting to receive success or notoriety in my chosen field. So like, you want me to just play ball for a year and retire? I just got here. I just, I'm just looking around. I just got here. Right. And I think what's unfortunate is, you know, women's been in the league since he was 15 at 30s. He's been in the league 15 years, but at 30, man, might still be in college, might still be in D league. And you're telling me that I ain't shit in the streets. Yeah. Let me find out. You know this. Let me find out. So I think, and again, you put in like the biological clock. Yeah. It gets complicated, but unfortunately, until the man gets to the point where like, he's seen it with his own eyes. He's gotten into the league and he realizes I ain't shit where they're here. I wasn't missing anything or I was missing something. Yo, these bitches up here, they big battlin'. Until you get to that point, there's always going to be what if, and I think, unfortunately, that is the not so talked about aspect. Obviously, I'm 29. So I don't know shit about a midlife crisis, but I think that's the not so addressed side of the midlife crisis where you see dudes in their 50s start getting motorcycles and shit like that because they never got to get in the league and realize it ain't really what it's cracked up to be. But like coming to America, that's so in your royal oats. I know you stick with that one. It's a necessary part of our growth. OK. OK. OK. This is a little bit more similar to the other. So we've talked about this a little bit today about men and understanding that providing is like a that's a high priority in terms of what they believe is important. So if that's the case, why do you think that there's so many men that also advocate for women to contribute 5050? Because most men aren't top 10 percent guys. You know, so so if I'm a schoolteacher and I'm great in these other aspects, yeah, I need your help. Because just like you said, that 40,000 I'm making ain't enough. I need your help, too. So what is the expect? So if you are requiring a woman or expecting a woman to come in at 5050, what do you believe are men's expectations of her? Because that changes things. Because if this is not so a partnership now, OK? Because a lot of men say they don't want a partner. They want they want someone that they can lead and all these other things. But that does change the field a little bit when your the expectation is that I'm contributing 5050. I think what's complicated. I don't know if we have enough data to really, really break that down because this this world of women making just as much, if not more sometimes than men and still trying to uphold a traditional institution where that was not the case. Yeah, it's tough. I don't know if we have enough data to really see, OK, this is how it's supposed to work and this how it works. I think we're still figuring that out. So because of that, I'm going to make it super simple and just split it up into two groups. If you're a man who makes now, obviously, making money isn't the only aspect of what a man brings to the table. But it's the main ones. Right. And it's hard to say as a man, I control the finances of the house when I'm not the chief breadwinner. Right. I think that's tough. I think, you know, you can make the argument like it happens in Mexican households, the mother makes more money, but the dad is the steward of the finances. But, you know, large scale, especially when we consider black people, I think we're going to have to work that out. But I think the men who do make the money and are checking off their provide and protect role, I think they require and rightfully expect some aspect of reverence. Right. Some aspect. Because, again, like, I can't protect you if I can't tell you what to do. So do you think, though, that men that aren't able to provide 100 percent or even 80 percent are still having those same expectations as the men that? Because in my head, it kind of equates to, like, the same thing that men say about women, where it's like, you're not a you're not a 10. You're not even an eight. You're barely a six, maybe a four, but you still expect. Oh, see, and see, that is the aspect of some factions of the manuscript that I'm completely against. Like, the idea that your woman just worked a 40 hour week and she's going to come home and cook dinner. It's unrealistic. It is unrealistic. Like, there must be it becomes more of a partnership. So typically, I'm not talking about those guys, because I think those guys are unrealistic and unreasonable. But as far as the guys. They're not going to like this, Alan. Hey, I'm not going to like this. I'm telling the truth. But if you if you are a man who's taking shit off the woman's plate, yeah, then, yes, there is a check and balance. Yeah. But if the woman is contributing 50 percent of the finances and or more than no, no, it's it can't be it's it's in nature. It's not a traditional marriage. Now maybe go marry a Mexican woman and they're they're more, you know, accommodating, regardless, but I think I think it's unreasonable. I think it's unreasonable. I think, you know, so for me and for the for the type of man I speak about or speak to is more so like. I want my woman to have the option to work. I hear that a lot. You feel what I'm saying? I want to have the option to work. So with that being said, that means that I'm not going to settle down as quickly as some 5050 do because I still have work to do. Yeah. But when that work is done, you're not going to talk to me. Like you would talk to do the quasi to work 50 hours a week. Right. So again, trade off. Yeah. So I think men, which here I am speaking for the men, I would think that men would think that that's a respect issue. Like the idea that you can kind of play with me a little bit. Like you could talk to me a little crazy if I'm not making as much money as if I am paying all the bills. Do you see it that way? Or do you see it as like if you're not paying all the bills, then you might have to tolerate a little bit more than someone who is paying all the bills. Yes, I think I think you are. However, I think one of the other things that men are kind of in opposition to is our role has been simply distilled to provide like it's it's been minimized to provide. And although provide is a big part of it, it's not everything. And it's not all of it. Right. There's still that protect aspect. That's why I started with that question. Right. Right. There is still that protect aspect. And there is also still that even even masculine energy. Yeah. I think I think there's a there's a huge advantage that that provides a family. Yeah, even from from a tranquility standpoint, like a man of there's a way a man kind of brings things down. Yeah, that isn't necessarily women's ministry. So that that's invaluable. So so in in in the perspective of, let's say, it's literally 50 50. Yeah, he makes 50 percent of the income. She makes 50 percent of the income. I think simply because of the nature of his position as a man, there should be some deference to him. I agree. Because again, like think about literally if I cannot tell you what to do, I cannot protect you. I agree, because unfortunately, we think about protect sometimes as like jumping in front of a bullet or fighting somebody on another person's behalf. No, sometimes protect is take two steps over there so you don't fall. The leader, you see what I'm saying? But protect is I mean, let's go. Yeah, she's about to go down, right? So there's there's there should be some again, there should be a difference. There should be a he's the man, even if our income now. That becomes extremely difficult if the income difference is just like the woman's a doctor and the niggas a teacher, like, um, yeah. So so I can't really speak to that because that's that's not the life I'm trying to live. I'll stay unmarried before I enter that because I don't see it going well. So you couldn't marry a woman that made substantially more than you. When you say like that, it sounds bad. I mean, that's what you're saying. I understand. I've dated. I can't say a woman, a woman. Yeah, dated a woman who's dating multiple of them or something. I'm trying to have dated multiple. I can think of one that may substantially more than me at the time. Now, she's a terrible example because she's an anomaly in the sense that she still maintained the femininity and why didn't that work because that should have been the jackpot, right? It was 20, 24. And the timing, right? Um, can I? You want to say no, but you're not saying no. Because it's going to be hard. So it's a no. No, no, no, no, no. It's going to be hard for a woman to make more than me. Especially at the time that I decide, yeah, I'm ready to give in. That is a flex, Alan. Yeah, man. That is a flex. I know where I'm going. But so so so with with that being said, this is what I'll say. I don't think I can marry a doctor. Specifically who is still currently a doctor. I don't think I can marry a lawyer who's still currently a lawyer because of the incredible amount of time and commitment that careers like that require like I for the type of man that I am and I'm trying to be. I want a woman who prioritizes the home front because I'm going to take care of everything outside. OK. So so from that standpoint, no, but it's not necessarily the the money because like I said, she has the option to do other things. She starts a home business or right in YouTube channel with the kids and she makes a ton of money. Cool. Yeah. More than me. Cool. But like, you know what I'm saying? For me, it's about the time and the opportunity costs a lot of high income earning women. They tend to not be nurturing, right, and to be inherently disagreeable. They tend to be unpleasant people. It works phenomenally if you're trying to make partner at the law firm. Yeah, it doesn't work so well inside. Yeah, no, I agree with that. I think a lot of I don't think people pay enough attention to that part in order to be a high powered CEO or not even a CEO, but like a high powered executive and a company or like you said, make partner at a law firm. It takes a certain type of disposition, particularly from a woman because women, unfortunately, are not treated the same in the workplace. So the type of woman that would be able to get to that level, she has to be very stern and very. And it's hard to just turn that off when you come home. Because everybody, every woman thinks they can. Every woman thinks they have this and walk in the room. No, I will say I think men can more easily do that. Because. It's it's it's it's a it's a good thing and it's a bad thing. But you know how we say men compartmentalize things works the same there as well. Like that's work. Right. Whereas you hear women say my work is my baby. Say that my work is my work. Nigga, I do that shit. I walk in the house. I'm daddy. You know what I mean? So so, you know, you'll hear sayings like pressure is made for shoulders, not hips and shit like that. But again, I don't know if we have enough data in this new world where men I mean women are being all these things to be able to say what works better. But based on this transitionary period, it's not going so well. I don't think it's going very well either. In terms of like you said, when you come home, what are the what experience do your children have with you? I don't know. I don't know data to back to what I'm about to say up either. But I would believe that men might also be better similar to what you said at leaving work at work. And I think women are more likely to bring work home. Right. And so the children end up and the husband, like whoever is at home bears the brunt of what that looks like. And to be to be fair to women, I think part of the difference is because for eons for women, work has been home. Even when women answer the workforce, they started out as like tutors and nannies and chefs and things like that. So work and home have been intrinsically intertwined. Whereas men, the coal mine in my house. And so like my house was a safe space from work. And I don't think I don't know, but I don't think men typically come home and talk about work with their wives the same way that women want to come home and tell their husbands or boyfriends. Yeah, I mean about work. I don't think that tends to have much either. Yeah, I don't know. But I don't think so. OK, so I think I know what you're going to say to this one. I think I know. Do you believe that men tend to extend the same level of grace that they want women to offer them? A lot of what you mean. So specifically when I thought of this question, I was thinking about how I know a lot of times and I know what people are going to say. Men and women tend to cheat at equal amounts, whatever. I think women are more likely to stay with a cheating man than a man is to stay with a cheating woman. Absolutely. So in that sense, I'm sure it can translate to other things. But do you feel like men extend the same level of grace to women that they expect women to extend? Hell, no. Fuck no. Well, why should we? Again, again, here are the facts. It's not the same. Why? The states are different. I'll give you a pleb to break. I'm sure you're excited about this one. Number one, what it takes to gain access to a man's genitals. Completely different than what it takes to gain access to a woman's genitals. Therefore, it's safe to assume that for the majority of women in order to sleep with a man, there has to be some like affection, even love for that man. And now when you consider a cheating situation, not only is there a like love for that man on some level, whether conscious or subconscious, she thinks he is better than her man on some whether it's physically better, whether it's emotionally better, whether it's financially better. She thinks he is in some because, again, women are hypergamous. Women want to go over after the best possible man, whatever that means for her. Secondly, there's also the chance. And I think this is men's default assumption that he didn't pay a steeper price for you as I did. So so I was liking it to to busting your ass in high school, doing community service, not even having a social life because you wanted to maintain your full point of GPA so you can get into Harvard. And then you see the nigga who used to cheat on your test right next to you on on on on the freshman orientation. You're going to be fucking pissed because I work my ass off to get into Harvard. And this nigga just cleaned a pool and he got it. So so that's the difference. Number two, and I think this is a big piece, too. Um, there's no such thing as maternity fraud. OK, whereas paternity fraud is prevalent. So so the stakes of me having sex with somebody else is I might impregnate that person and now I have to come back and tell you, hey, I got some other bitch pregnant, which is embarrassing. It's embarrassing as fuck. The stakes of you having sex with somebody else is you might be impregnated by somebody else. Come back to me and make me raise another man's child for 18 years. Would that not also happen, though, if he goes out and gets I think men and I've heard you talk about this before. It almost sounds like you think that if you go out and get someone else pregnant and then are deciding we decide to stay together, that I'm just not going to have anything to do with this child or this other woman now. Well, so two things. Number one, typically in the scenarios where the woman decides to stay, it's typically a certain caliber of man. Let's be real. It's typically a high producing, high performing type of man. I don't know about that one. Which means that your $50,000 ain't going to that kid. He's got it covered. But it's not about money. It's the inconvenience and embarrassment. Understand, inconvenience and embarrassment, that's cool. And it's other baby mama now. And it's other baby, that's cool. But as far as like checking things off the list, you don't have to concern yourself financially with that you can make the argument or I'm taking money out of our pot to... That too. Now, all those things apply if you get pregnant by somebody else. But there's a unique differentiating factor that I think it's my child. But realistically, Alan, how often? Because I do think that you are hyper focused on that particular scenario as being very detrimental and harmful in... No. I'm trying to explain why the ways that men understand being cheated on are different than the ways women are. There's more at stake for us. Because of the fact that paternity fraud is a thing.