 We all have tests that we use to determine whether someone is right for us or not. Does he make you laugh? Is he attractive? Can he spell or use grammar in his text messages? These are all tests that women in our community have told me that they use to tell if a man is right for them or not. Well, guess what? Men have tests as well. And these are some of the tests that men use to determine how valuable you are to them. Hi, I'm Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. Here are five tests that men use to determine whether or not you're a high value woman. Test number one is he pulls away. At some point, just about any man that you're really attracted to, a guy that you date, or a guy that you're in a relationship with, is going to pull away for one reason or another. What you do when he does this can determine whether he thinks you're a valuable woman that he wants something deeper with or whether he should pull away further or even disappear altogether. So here's how you fail the test. You chase him, you freak out, you get angry at him, you attack him or you punish him. Those are all things that will make you fail this test and make him feel like you're not that valuable, that you're not the kind of person that he wants to be with. Now here's how you pass the test. You give him some space, you invite him to come back to you, and then you make him work to get you back. If you do this the right way, you'll stand out from all the other women that he's ever met and you'll feel like you're special, unique, indifferent. Most women lose their minds, they absolutely lose their minds when a man pulls away. Don't be one of those women if you want to continue to see him. So if you're here with us right now, just say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from. It's really cool to see women from all over the world watching these live streams. So number two is he challenges your boundaries. So if it was up to most women to move things forward towards a romantic relationship, the population of the earth would dwindle down to almost nothing. That's a little bit of a joke, but in all reality, men typically are the ones that push things forward in most situations. And so most guys know that if he wants something romantic and physical with you, he has to lead things there or it probably won't ever, ever happen. Right? Most guys know this. If a guy hangs out with you and he goes on dates with you over and over and over again and he doesn't move things forward, it probably won't ever happen unless you just get totally tired and you're like, Hey, are you gonna finally kiss me or something? Right? Which is what happens a lot. And then you're in our community going, is this guy gay? What's going on with this guy? We have to be like, no, no, no, he's a really, really nice guy and then you lose interest. And so this is what happens, right? So a guy has to push things forward. And what that means is that he's probably gonna push and challenge your boundaries if you want something romantic. And so here's how you fail this test. You let him push past your boundaries and then walk all over you. In the short term, this may make him like you. But in the long term, he'll end up losing respect for you. And he's far less likely to value you if you do this. He's less likely to feel like your relationship material, like your girlfriend material, like your wifey material, like your any of those kinds of materials. If you let him push past your boundaries and get away with whatever he wants to get away with. Instead, you need to set boundaries. If it's something that you're interested in, like he's making some kind of move on you, you know, he's trying to kiss you or, you know, he's trying to touch you or something like that. But you need more time. You need to let him know that, right? There's this thing that we've talked about before where it's kind of a hard, like a hard no versus a soft no. A hard no is like, no, I'm not interested, don't do that. And a soft no is like, Hey, not yet, right? Not yet, not yet. And so a lot of times women try to give off a soft no, but it comes off as a hard no. And so if you are interested and you are interested in that at some point, but not maybe not right now, because you don't really know him. You need more love and connection and tenderness. You need to make sure he's the right guy. Then you need to let him know in a nice way that this is the situation that you're in that you are interested in him. But yes, you're just not ready yet. It's not time yet. And if it's something that you're not willing to accept at all, you need to let him know that as well. So if you set and stick to your boundaries, he's far more likely to respect you and feel like you're different, unique and special. And that's what you want. You want him to feel like you're different, like you're more valuable than all the other women that he's dated. So number three is he sets up a date and then waits to talk to you on the date. So he waits, so he sets up the date with you and then you don't hear back from him again until the date. This is a common test that a lot of guys use, believe it or not. And sometimes this isn't even a conscious thing. It's like a subconscious thing that he's doing or maybe he's old fashioned. Why? Because before social media and text messaging made it so that we were able to contact each other with, you know, every single second of every single day, people used to set up dates, right? They'd set up a date with each other. And then they would just meet each other on the date. That's usually what would happen back in the day. And now people are a lot more impatient because of the ability to get instant feedback and they're just sending messages back and forth. Well, a lot of high value men still date like the old way because it weeds out a lot of women who are desperate and needy and who are trying to eat up all of his time and who need, you know, massive amounts of attention because they're not doing what I talk about and making sure that, you know, they're coming from a space of feeling like they're whole and happy and strong and worthy. And then they're, they have an abundance of connection, which are the things that you want to do. If you're not coming from that space, you might be coming from the space of being desperate and needy and clingy and trying to eat up all of his time. And he doesn't want that. He has a life and he needs someone who can fit into that life, not someone who is going to completely derail him and pull him off of course. The way to fail this test is to freak out on him, get angry at him or cancel plans at the very last minute because you haven't heard from him. Another way to fail this test is to start chasing him instead of waiting for the date or waiting for him to initiate contact again. On the other hand, you don't want to meet up with a guy if he's completely forgot about you because then you'll show up on the date and he's not even going to be there, right? And you're like, ah, I went on this date and I thought, you know, and I was losing into Matt Coast and he told me that, you know, maybe it was a test, right? So what's the best way to handle this? The best way to handle this is to wait until the day of and then ask him if you're still on, right? Just send him a text, quick test and say text message and say, hey, are we still on? And that's it. That's all you have to do. If he doesn't respond, you don't go on the date. If you get what I'm talking about right now, say I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about or you have some kind of question about your situation or anything, or you just want to talk to me about life because you think that it's so interesting to talk to me, go ahead and ask whatever questions you have in the chat. We'll get to it here in just a minute. We're on number four and there's five of these. These are really important. So hang in there. Number four is he checks to see if you're on his side. So this is kind of more of a passive way of testing, especially in the modern world of the war, the sexes, men are looking for a woman who can actually be on their side instead of against him. The way to fail this test is to try to change him is busting on him in front of his friends or going against him or fighting with him or any of that kind of stuff, flirting with other men in front of him, leaving him at parties or gatherings that you go to together, teaming up against him with other people or making fun of what he does or who he is. Those are all ways to kind of destroy this thing where it's called the partnership principle of being on his side of him feeling like you're in this together, like you're going to the same place together. If you want to pass the test, support him in his dreams and goals, encourage him, talk him up around his friends and family and be his cheerleader when he needs it. I've seen men who have said that they don't believe in marriage and then they ended up getting married to a woman who shows, who ended up showing him that she's really on his side. I've seen this over and over and over again because many men in America, especially in America right now, but it's starting to happen all over the West feel like they're under attack from the media, from women and from our culture. We have a thing called the war of the sexes going on over here in the West and it is, it's pretty bad. It's pretty bad. But if you can be on his side, it can make a massive difference to him and the way that he sees you and he can feel and think of you as the type of woman that he wants to be forever, the forever one. So number five, this is the last one. He sees how you act in a situation that challenges you. So let me explain what this means. So the things that break relationships apart, they don't usually happen during the good times. It's usually during the challenging times that typically breaks people up. And a common way for men to test women is to take her to something that challenges her to see if she responds to doing, seeing how she responds to doing something that she's not really comfortable with. So this could be something simple like taking her to a sport that she's not used to playing or having her do something that she's not good at or that he's good at, but she's not really good at it. So the way that you fail this is to do things like you suck at something and so you start attacking him or other people around you. You blame other people or things outside of yourself for not being good at something. You lose your mind. You start freaking out and then you just run off. You just run off. You're like, I can't stand it. You brought me to play ping pong and I suck at it. I'm going to run and you just start running out of there. And that is a great way to fail this test. So the way that you pass this test is to remain calm, be patient, and allow yourself to learn something new. So just chill out, have fun with it, be playful, poke fun at yourself, just enjoy yourself and have a good time at what you're doing. So that's it for this one. If you really want to raise your value in a man's eyes and you want a man to love you and cherish you, make sure that you check out the Forever Woman program. You can get it for free at theforeverwomanformula.com. It's a great program. Lots of women have used it to turn their situations around and get into great relationships with great guys. Many of those women have gotten married at this point. We've had women who are married that have used it to turn things completely around for themselves. So go check it out. If you're interested, it's free. You can get access to it for free. It's called the Forever Woman. It's at theforeverwomanformula.com. So let's go through some of the questions. Let's see what people are saying today. Hello, hello, hello. Greetings. Hello. UAE Jersey Cancun. Casey says, hi, I'm from Texas. I absolutely love what you say. Well, thank you, Casey. I absolutely love that you're here and listening to us and trusting me on your journey to creating the relationship that you want to have. So thank you so much. I think you are awesome. You are awesome. You're awesome. So let's see. Anne says, hi, Matt, Maryland. I agree with you. If they do it sparingly, I'd behave the way you are saying. But when it comes, becomes a repeated behavior every month by pulling away, that is a red flag and not acceptable. Yeah. And that's something that you definitely want to pay attention to, right? Because like I said, everything's both sides, right? A lot of times we get women that'll come and they'll be like, well, why aren't you teaching men how to be gentlemen? Aren't you supposed to be teaching men how to be gentlemen? And it's funny because if you go over to the men's dating side and there's a lot of people on the men's dating side, there's a lot of coaches over there. If you go over there and look at the comments and their comment sections, it's all, why aren't you teaching women to be better women and being nicer to men and treating us with respect and all that kind of stuff. And it's so funny because everybody's just kind of pointing fingers at each other. But the reality is, is that it's a two-way street, right? We all have to learn how to connect with each other better and be a better partner to each other. That's what we want, right? We all want better partners. We want to have better partners in our lives. And the only way we're going to have that is if we're both better partners. And so it is important that you look at him pulling away. He's pulling away every month. You know, what does that mean, right? What does that mean? He's pulling away every month. Is he pulling away for a couple of days? Is he pulling away for a week? Is he pulling away for a couple of weeks? Is he pulling away and just not messaging you back? Is he ignoring you? And so you want to look at it, right? Is it normal behavior or is it something that's abnormal behavior that you should be concerned with and that it's a red flag? And so like I was talking about earlier, we've kind of, you know, gotten to this world where we have this instant gratification that comes from text messaging and messenger apps and social media channels and stuff. And so we're used to just, you know, messaging back and forth. I had a woman one time who was from Brazil and she was talking about how this guy that she was seeing pulls away every single day. And I'm like, what does, what does that mean to pull away every single day? And I was like, is, are you talking about, he disappears in the evening and then shows back up the next day and she's like, yeah, that's what he does. Is he, you know, around six o'clock, he stops messaging me and then he doesn't start messaging me until the next day again. And it's like, well, that's kind of normal behavior, right? He's got a life. He's got things to do. And so you have to figure out whether this is normal behavior or whether it's abnormal behavior and then look at yourself and say, okay, well, what do I want? You know, what's acceptable here? You know, what kind of a relationship do I want to be in? Is it really necessary for me to be in contact with the man every single moment of every single day? Or is that something that's something weird that's going on with me? Right? Because a lot of times we look at the other person, we say, okay, you know, those people are weird. And a lot of times the weirdness is actually going on with us. We got to admit it. I'm a little weird. You're a little weird. We're all a little weird sometimes. And there's nothing wrong with that. And we have to look at whether the weird that we have going on with us is a little bit dysfunctional or is it healthy? Is it coming from a healthy place or is it coming from kind of this neediness place, this place where you don't feel like you're enough or you feel like you're not really worthy. And so you're trying to make something happen and you need validation from this person constantly, or you don't feel good about yourself. And so that was kind of a long drawn out answer. But and yeah, it can be a red flag for sure. And you want to take a look at that. Absolutely. Jamie says, Yay, finally get to see you live. You're awesome. Thanks so much for all the advice in your program. Well, you are absolutely welcome, Jamie. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. So Scarlett says your advice always resonates with me. Can you also talk about boundaries in the context of when with someone for a year or two? Well, it depends on what you're concerned with, right? So what's your concern is have things already kind of spiraled into a direction that you don't want them to go to? Is it just something small or something important that that that is a little little things here and there? So it really depends on what you're talking about here, Scarlett. So if it's something that's really big, that that had been set like the frame, you know, I talk about frames a lot. If the frame or the precedent behind the relationship behind your interactions behind everything that you're doing is already set and it's been set for a really long time can be really really difficult to kind of break that pattern and create a new one. You can do that, right? You can absolutely do that. Or if you're just talking about little things that you wish that he was doing or he's not doing or whatever, those are things that you can create frames around. I have a program called the Love Frames Toolkit where I talk all about setting frames and how to create a frame. If a guy's not really doing what you want him to do, it's very, very easy to actually start encouraging him to do those kinds of things and then seeing what he does from there, especially if it's a small thing that's not a big deal. All you have to do is wrap a frame around it and the frame can be something like this is attractive or this is hot or whatever, right? But if it's something that's a big boundary thing, like he's betraying some kind of boundary, like he lies about this or he does things about that or whatever, you can set boundaries about that, but you can also, you also want to look at it in terms of this as a person, right? And this being a person who might have this kind of thing ingrained in him. And so boundaries are kind of a big topic, especially once you're in a year or two. And so I'd need a little bit more information from you, Scarlett, about your situation and what kind of boundaries you're trying to set or what kind of situation that you think maybe you need boundaries with or what kind of behavior is a problem that you're looking at. So let's see. Carmela says, how do you slow down a man that is too eager to keep in touch too often for comfort? It was fine in the beginning, but it's starting to become taxing and time consuming again. And this is exactly what I was talking about before, right? Because we've, we've all, right? It's on both the men and the women side. Like I talked to you because I'm talking to you about these things that either work or don't work and these tests that men have, but a lot of these tests are the same for women. It's not like, you know, it's just men that are in this situation. A lot of the women that come to us are in these situations where they're doing things and they're pushing guys away. And here's one of the challenges that you're going to run into here, Carmela, is that when you start being like, hey, you're, you're contacting me too much, right? What you're doing is you're kind of pushing him away. And what that does is it creates a rubber band effect and it's going to make him want to do it more often. It's something that he needs to work on within himself and he needs to learn about. And one of the problems is it's, it's difficult, especially in your, when you're in a relationship to coach somebody on that or teach somebody about that, because then they start feeling like they're not good enough. And why are they, why is he trying to do that all the time? And I hear this women from, from women all the time, right? I always hear women that are like, how do I get men to, you know, text me every day and contact me every day? And then, and then when you do have a guy who's texting and contacting you every day, you're like, how do I get him to stop doing that? It was charming at first, but it's not anymore. And I, I hear that same sentence almost, I think I've probably heard it at least a dozen times or more now. And so you can let him know, I mean, you can tell him, you know, and, and like I was talking about with boundaries, what you do with boundaries and how you communicate a boundary is tell him what you want or tell him what you like, right? They call it kind of like a sandwich or something, right? You give him something where you, you tell him that you like him or you tell him that you love connecting with him or you tell him that, that you're really flattered by him and that it makes you feel really good when he contacts you. And then you set the boundary, which is, you know, but I've got a lot of things going on, and I can't always be talking all the time and every day. And so, you know, if I, and it might not even be a thing with him, right? It might be just for you setting this boundary and making sure that he knows that you're not going to be responding to his messages all the time. And you don't want to do it just cold turkey and just stop messaging him. But instead, what you want to do is communicate. Just be like, look, I've got a lot of things going on. And, you know, these times of the day, there's actually a book out there is called the four hour work week by Tim Ferriss. And one of the things that he talks about is setting boundaries with phone calls with people and saying, having on your voice messenger where you're like, you know, Hey, this is Carmella and I take phone calls. You know, I only respond to phone calls during the hours of, you know, 1pm to 2pm and 4pm to 5pm. If you want to get a hold of me, make sure that you contact me during those times, right? And so it's, it's basically kind of a similar thing here where you're like, Hey, look, I'm, you know, I love contacting. I love how much you like to be in contact with me. It really makes me feel special and amazing and wonderful as a woman. And at the same time, I've got a lot of things that are going on. And so I might not always be responsive to your texts, especially during the day. I have a lot of time during the day when it's really important for me to be working. And so I might not respond to your texts at all during those times. And it would be easier for me if you didn't contact me during those times. That way I didn't feel like I felt a little bit obligated or something to contact you back. And instead, we talked like during the evening or something like that, or, you know, maybe twice a week or three times a week instead of every single day or whatever thing you're trying to set up here, right? And just communicating with him. And then at the end of it, just telling him, you know, I really love, you know, hanging out with you and spending time with you and talking to you. It's just, it's a little too overwhelming for me. And it's, I just, I need a little bit more space and just letting him know that. And if he's, if he's socially smart and he's, and he understands any kind of social dynamics whatsoever, he will give you some space. And if he doesn't, this can be a test for you with him, right? To see how he kind of reacts and see what he does. And if he's getting all, it starts getting all needy and clean, which he might, if he's connecting with you out of a space of neediness in the first place, then that's a good place for you to know that he's coming from that space. So I, I hope you understand what I'm talking about there, Carmella. All right, let's see, what do we got next? Lots of people get it. I'm glad you get it. So Wanda says, I lost someone I loved because I did all the wrong things that you had explained. I can't believe it. Well, and you'll lose some people sometimes for different things. And it's just, you know, sometimes it's them. Sometimes it's not you. Sometimes it's all kinds of different things. But what I'm teaching here is how to put yourself in the best possible position, how to set yourself up in the best possible position so that you have the best chance of getting into the best relationship that you absolutely can get into so that you're setting things up right so that it's healthy so that you know what's going on so that you're protecting yourself from getting hurt for in the best possible way that you can, right? There's nothing that's absolutely certain out there, right? There's nothing, absolutely nothing that is absolutely certain out there except for within yourself being certain within yourself and, and knowing what you want and, and making sure that you get into great situations and that if it's not a great situation that you figured out as much as you possibly can. Outside of that, there's not really a whole lot that's, that's, yeah. So, all right, so let's move on. So Penelope says, hi from New Zealand, nerve your vas, you're the best. How do I stand out when dating a guy who's dating other girls? So Penelope, I like your fun talk there and so how do you stand out when a guy is dating other girls? My suggestion is that you date other guys. That's the best, absolute best, number one thing that you can do to stand out to guys is to start dating other guys as well because what you do when you do that is you create abundance and you might be thinking in your mind and I don't know you Penelope, but you might be thinking in your mind right now, but Matt, I do not want to date other men. This is the one man that I want to be with. Why can't I just make things work with him and not date anybody else? And you can and it's possible and your best chance at getting him to chase you and pursue you and value you and feel like you're different than all the other women that he meets is to stop treating him like he's the only man on earth that you want something with. You have to break out of that mindset and get into a mindset of abundance and abundance of options. There are billions of men on the planet and this isn't the only guy that you can have a great connection with. There are lots of guys and once you start connecting with other guys and start creating great connections with other guys, see it always feels like this is the only one. If there's one person and you're connected to that person, you're like, oh, this is the only one and I don't want to have to find somebody else, but if you're connecting with a bunch of different guys and you're having great connections with more than one guy, then you're like, oh, it's not that big of a deal that we have a good connection because I have a good connection with somebody else as well and you start flipping the script around. And so it's not about how do I get this one guy to see me as special and amazing. It's, is this guy special and amazing and different than all the other men that I've been meeting out there? And how is he, right? Because right now you're in this frame of he's the prize. I've got to win him over. I've got to show him that I'm different and special. And if you flip it around and you get him into the frame of him trying to prove to you that he's different and special and unique, he will automatically start thinking that you're different and you're special and you're unique. And that's what you need to do is you have to flip your mindset around. It's all about your mindset where you're at right now and you have to believe that you deserve a great guy and you have to believe that you're going after the relationship, not just the guy that you want. And so the relationship is the goal and what guy gets you to the goal is the guy that's going to win. Right. And so this is, this is the mindset you need to have. There's the goal. It's the relationship. It's this amazing relationship where you're loved and you're cherished and he sees the brilliant, amazing, wonderful you. He sees that smile on your face and it makes him feel butterflies in his stomach and he thinks, I have to win this woman over. How do I win her over? I got to do things that make her think that I'm special and I've got to woo her and I've got to treat her great and I've got to do all these great things. Right. And if he's not in that mindset, it's going to be very, very difficult for you to get into that relationship. And that's why it's better to have a smorgasbord. You must have a smorgasbord of different men that you're all choosing from. And so you want a bunch of different guys and I'm kind of running off on a tangent here, but that's what you need. That's what you need. You want guys to be competing for you, not the other way around. Right now, what you're doing is you're competing for him and you're going to lose that. And so you want to flip it around. You want him to be competing for you. The best way to find that out is to use the forever woman formula. Go to the forever woman formula.com. This whole chat thing kind of resets when I go to the bottom and then I got to go back up to the top and look at what I just went through. All right, lots of I gets it. Carinia says, hi, Matthew. Thanks for all the great advice, big fan. Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I'm glad that you appreciate my advice. So thank you so much for being here. To love, thank you says there are more women on this planet than guys. Guys have more options than we do. How many billions of people are on this planet? It also depends on where you live, right? There are some places that you can go that are super man heavy, right? There's a place called Denver. And Denver is actually nicknamed Menver because there are a lot more men there than there are women. And so women there tend to have a much easier time at dating because they have a lot more options. But the reality is, is that there's lots of dudes out there. I mean, there are lots and lots and lots and lots of dudes. And women, it's easier for them to get into a romantic situation with a man than it is for a man to get into a romantic situation with a woman. In fact, there's actually been studies done on this. And they did a study on the percentage of men and women who are celibate. And what they found is it's I think it was around like 16 or 18% of women right now are celibate, which means that they haven't physically had sex with somebody in at least a year. Men, on the other hand, is around 27%, which is like one if you meet four guys, one of them hasn't hooked up with somebody in a year. I mean, that's pretty amazing. I mean, that's crazy. And the reason is, is because a lot of women are competing for this top tier of dudes. And all these dudes are like that are at the top or just hooking up with lots of women. And then there's a whole bunch of guys at the bottom that aren't hooking up with anybody. But a lot of them are really, really good men. And so I would get out of this mindset of like, men have it easier than women do, because that is just not, that's just not true at all, right? It's not true in any way, shape or form. It's difficult for everybody right now. And it's one of those things where I wouldn't, I wouldn't, you know, if you're worried about there being more women on the planet than men, just go to a city, just go hang out in the city somewhere, because there are so many people, men and women, that you're going to find lots of dudes that are single there. And it shouldn't be a problem for you at all. And so get out of that mindset. That mindset is going to destroy you. That mindset will destroy you. Taylor says, what about getting an ex back? What about it, Taylor? What about it? I have a whole program on it. It's called restart your relationship. If you go to commitmentconnection.com forward slash restart dash your dash relationship, you can go get it for $1. It's a program you can get for $1. Lisa says, love your advice. Well, thank you, Lisa. I appreciate it. Jem Kerr says, what if I am pulling away from him? Well, what if you are pulling away from it? Where are you going with that, huh, Jem Kerr? Sharon says, is a text periodically okay because you want to share something funny with him? A video chat at night? Yeah. I mean, well, it depends on what's going on in your situation, Sharon. So you come on here and you say, is it okay for me to send him a text once in a while? Has he been texting you? Does he initiate text normally? If he's been texting you and initiating text normally, then it's absolutely okay to send him a text every once in a while. Why? Because relationships are a two-way street. It's two people coming together and building the relationship. It's not one person. If you're the only one trying to build it, it's a problem. If you're the only one reaching out to him, it's a problem. If he's not initiating contact with you, if he's not trying to meet up with you, if he's not doing things for you and with you, then it's a problem that you're reaching out to him because he doesn't really care and he's not really that interested. There's some kind of red flag going on there and what you're doing is chasing him because you like him and you value him really highly and he doesn't value you all that highly. However, if he's been chasing you and initiating contact with you and taking you out on dates and doing all these things with you and hanging out with you and spending lots of time with you, then sending him and initiating contact with him sometimes isn't a big deal. Getting on a chat with him at night isn't a big deal. It's not a big deal. If you're hitting the ball back and forth, if you're playing the tennis match and you're hitting the ball over and he's hitting it back over and he's hitting the ball over and you're hitting it back over, it's not a problem. But if you're hitting the ball over and it's just hitting the wall and you're just taking balls and hitting them against the wall, that's a problem. I hope that's clear, Sharon. So Pamela says, you're great and thank you. You're welcome and thank you. She says, I've got a guarded man because of past experience. It's taken him a while to figure out. I know he cares about me, but when will he tell me how he really cares? He has a ranch that I have not been to yet because of his religious beliefs of his grandmother. When is there a timeframe for him to bring me? Well, I would be very concerned if you had gone, if you had gone more than six months, if you've gone more than like six to eight months and he's not showing you to his family, he's not, you're not friends with his friends, he's not, you haven't seen his place, right? If you haven't seen his place and it's been like, you know, if you guys are physically getting intimate and you're having a real relationship and you haven't seen his place and it's been like three months, six months, right? There's something weird going on and so any of that kind of timeframe, if you've gone six months, eight months, a year and he hasn't gotten really serious about you, he's not taking you to meet his parents, you're not a part of his normal everyday life, there's not something normal going on, he's not talking about trying to move things forward, he's not pushing things forward with you, that's a huge red flag because it's been shown that men by around the six months to eight months period of time have figured out, there's been research studies done on this and they've figured out that men know by that time, most men know by like the eight month mark what kind of position you have in their life, right? He knows whether he wants to marry you, whether he thinks that he wants to have kids with you, whether you're just a girlfriend, whether you're just a friend with benefits, whether you're somebody that he's hiding from the rest of the world because he doesn't want them to know about you, he knows within eight months what's going on there and if it's been longer than that, if it's been like a year and that's still going on, you need to get out of that situation for sure, unless you're okay with that situation, but most women aren't, most women that are here and that are going through this and that have been talking to me and that have been going through my stuff, they're not okay with that and if you're not okay with that, then you have to know and you have to believe that you're worth more than that and so I hope that helps. I hope that answers your question. Casey says, sometimes we as women can be clingy without realizing it, but it's important to kind of give them space so we don't freak them out. Yeah, guys can do that too, right? Everybody can do that. Everybody can be clingy. Everybody can be clingy. To love, thank you says they don't pay me enough attention. Well, there's probably a reason for that. You might want to figure out what that reason is so why would a guy not pay you much attention? Why would men in general not pay you much attention? There's a reason for that and so you might want to find out what that is. It could be that you're hanging out with all the wrong guys. It could be that you're doing something that really turns guys off because that could be true. It could be that you're going to the wrong places to meet men. It could be a lot of different things. So you want to figure out what that is and then figure it out and get around it so that you're in a situation where guys do pay more attention to you because they can and they will if you're doing the right things and you're connecting with them in the right way and you're around the right kinds of guys. If you're around the wrong kinds of guys, they're definitely not going to pay attention to you. If you're around, if you're doing some things that are huge red flags to guys, then you're definitely going to turn them off and make them want to run away from you. And so you want to make sure that you're putting yourself in the best possible position, which is the reason why I put together the forever woman program is so that you can understand what the basics are and how to make sure that you're getting into the best possible situation where a guy's moving towards you and he's interested in you and you're not throwing off red flags and clean, needy behavior and all that kind of stuff. So I hope that answers your question there. So Jennifer says, the man I'm seeing has stage four cancer. He recently got bad news and I haven't talked to him for a few days. I'm worried and want to check on him, but I understand he needs space. What do I do? Well, stage four cancer is a pretty extreme thing, right? That means that he's, there's a really high probability chance that he's not going to make it in the near future. And so if he gets some bad news, I mean, it's, he might be freaking out. He might have all kinds of different things going on. I mean, it's one of those things like you're in a situation where it's like you're probably going to lose this guy at some point. You have to realize that and you have to be very, very aware that there's a good possibility that you might lose this guy at some point. And so if I were you, I wouldn't be so worried about it, right? About reaching out and saying something to him. Cause if he has stage four cancer and he's getting bad news, then he's probably in a situation where he's like, Hey, I want to spend time with people that I care about. And if you reach out and say something nice to him or just ask him how he's doing or whatever it, you know, I've never had stage four cancer before, but I'm guessing that he'd probably appreciate it. And if he didn't appreciate it or he has something else going on, it's probably a good time to start de attaching yourself from him so that you don't get into a situation where you're totally devastated by whatever is going to end up happening with him, which there's a very good possibility that something devastating is going to happen with him in the very near future. And so, you know, make sure that you're taking care of yourself and taking care of your own needs and taking care of your connection needs specifically so that it's you're not, I mean, I don't know what your relationship is to this guy, how long you guys have been seeing each other or any of that kind of stuff. But if he's in stage four cancer, I mean, he's in a, he's in a bad place, you know, maybe, I don't know if it's mentally, but definitely from a physical standpoint. And so you just, you want to be very careful there in terms of how attached you get so that you're not getting devastated when he ends up leaving for whatever, you know, because he's, he's not going to make it through life anymore or because he's, he doesn't want to have to deal with the idea of having a relationship and breaking your heart and seeing you get your heart broken and all that kind of stuff, which is something that could be coming up for him, definitely if he's in that situation. And so, I mean, you can definitely, I wouldn't, I wouldn't shy away from just reaching out to him and finding out what's going on with him and just making sure that he's okay. And if he doesn't want to talk to you and if he wants to ignore you and he wants some space, that's fine, you know, just give him that space and make sure that you're building your connection with other people, not necessarily men, although maybe depending on what your relationship is to him and make sure that you're in a good space for yourself so that you're taking care of your own needs and making sure that you have a support system around you when he ends up leaving, which, you know, he could at any time. So, all right, let's see. Marie Tester says, why is it that some guys get upset if a woman is busy and lives her life and doesn't respond to text messages immediately, then play guilt trips because they're coming from a space of neediness and insecurity and feelings of low self-worth and like maybe they don't really deserve it. And so instead of admitting those things to themselves and dealing with it, they soothe themselves, right? So this, for everybody, right? Men and women, most people out there have very low self-esteem. That's how most people in the world are. They have super low feelings of self-worth. They believe that they don't really deserve great things in their life. They don't deserve love. They don't deserve happiness. They don't deserve great things. And so the way that they deal with that is to do something that psychologists call soothing. And soothing, what that does is it's a way of taking care of yourself, right? It's a way of loving yourself, actually, where you defend yourself or you put yourself into situations where you can feel like you're worthy and deserving. And what you don't realize is that it's usually a very temporary soothing effect that you have on it, right? Which is why there's men and women that get into these situations where they need that constant response from somebody because they want to feel like they're worthy and so they're getting that from you. And then you stop doing it because you've got a life and you've got things going on and then all of a sudden they start feeling like you're the problem because you were the person that was giving them their drip of worthiness that they were feeling. And so what you have to do, what they have to do is they have to start believing in their own worth. They have to start becoming their own source of worthiness so that instead of getting their fix of worthiness from you, they get their fix of worthiness from themselves and they believe that they're worthy and they believe that they're deserving of everything they want in their lives. And so when then if you're there in that situation and you say, hey, I don't have time to talk right now, let's talk later, or you don't respond to them for a whole day or whatever, then they get it, right? Because they understand that you have things going on and it's not all about them anymore because when you're in that space where you're needy and you're desperate and you're clingy, it's not about you, right? It's about them, right? They are in that space and they're like, I need, I need, I need, I need and that's why they're desperate and that's why they're clingy and they're selfish and they don't realize it because that's their world. That's just how they think things are and they think that happiness comes from the outside world. They think that their feelings of self-worth need to come from the things that they have, right? Their money, whether a woman talks to them or doesn't talk to them, whether when they send you a text message, they receive one or not, right? And if you're listening to me because I guarantee there are some women listening to me that are coming from that space of neediness and cleanliness and they need somebody to respond to them immediately and the guy doesn't respond to them or he says the wrong thing or any of that kind of stuff, then they start freaking out, right? And it's a red flag. It's a red flag. This guy is giving you red flags right now and he's saying, hey, I have self-esteem issues. I have self-worth issues. I have neediness issues. I have issues where I depend on the outside world in order to make myself feel good about myself. And as long as you're with somebody like that, right, which is like we're talking about these tests here, this is a test, right? You're doing literally doing exactly what I was talking about in one of the tests. If you're doing this test on a guy and you're like, hey, I need some space or you don't respond to him in a day or whatever, and he starts freaking out and he gets angry at you and all that kind of stuff and you know that he's got low self-worth and that he's not valuable as much to you and you start losing interest and you start losing attraction for him and you start going, what's wrong with these guys, right? And so this is exactly what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm talking about. And you are the perfect example of this situation happening in reverse where a guy's doing all this stuff to you and you're doing, hey, why is this guy doing this to me? And you're losing interest and you're starting to take him for granted and you're starting to feel like he's not all that valuable and you start to do all these things where you're like, I don't want to deal with this. It's too much. It's exhausting. I need some space. And if he has a decision to make right now, which is, am I going to give her some space, which will make you value him more or go back to the levels that he was at before? Or is he going to get angry and self-righteous and resentful and start blaming things on you and all that kind of stuff, which will make you want to pull away further and or disappear altogether. And so that's the situation that you're in. I just wanted to talk about thanks, Marie, for talking about that and asking that question so that I could emphasize that to everybody who's watching right now so that everybody could really, really get it here. So, okay, Brenda says, thanks for all your help. You are absolutely welcome, Brenda. Sissy says, hi, Matt. Great advice as always. Well, I appreciate it, Sissy. Let's see. So, let's go off of this other part that your Marie was asking about. She says, also, why do guys say they don't want a relationship just casual stuff then because they are chasing the woman constantly texting them and the woman meets up only occasionally reminds him this is casual. They run away and accuse the woman she got clingy. To me, so many more guys are appearing to be insecure in me. That's exactly what it is, right? He's avoiding anything real because he's scared of real connection. He's scared of getting hurt. So, what he's doing is he's flipping the frame. He's trying to flip the frame. He gets needy and clingy and he's used to doing this. This is a pattern in his life. He's getting needy and clingy. He does it over and over and over again and then the woman ends up losing interest in being like, what's wrong with you? Then what ends up happening normally for him is that she starts getting distant and pulling away and disappearing. But what he's trying to do instead is he's trying to save himself by accusing you of doing the exact behavior that he's doing so that he feels like he broke up with you and he can retain some of his power and control and not take the break up as bad because this is something that happens to him all the time. And so, that's what's going on there. And so, if you're with us right now and you're interested in getting into a great relationship and you want to attract a great guy, even if you're in a situation where you're seeing a guy and you want a relationship where a guy really loves you and he values you and he cherishes you and he sees you and he thinks this woman is the most amazing woman I've ever met in my life and I don't want to ever let her go, then make sure that you check out my free program. You can get it at the foreverwomanformula.com and go check out the program. Get yourself a copy of it. It's helped a lot of women attract great guys into their lives. Some of the women have gotten married. Some women who are married that have used the program have fixed their marriages. It's helped women get over guys, get over an exes. It's helped women get back with exes. It's helped women do all kinds of things. And so, thank you so much, everybody, for being here with me. You women who are part of our community are some of the most amazing, beautiful and awesome women in the world. So, thank you so much for being here with us today. I've got to go get going right now. I have a friend that has a pet squirrel and he said it was running around. He really wanted me to come and pet this squirrel. And so, I'm going to go pet a squirrel, but thank you so much. Thank you so much for being here with us today. Thank you for trusting me on helping you in your journey to attracting the man that you want to have in your life and getting into the relationship that you've always wanted. So, thank you so much. And I got to get going, but I will speak with you again soon. And always remember, you are worth it.