 Proudly we hail from New York City where the American stage begins here is another program with a cast of outstanding players public service time has been made available by this station to bring you this story as proudly we hail the United States Army's special services our story is entitled a knockout performance this is the story of a soldier an infantryman who faced a foreign problem in a foreign land as proudly we hail the United States Army our first act curtain will rise in just a moment but first right now here's an important message for young men who are high school graduates never before in history has there been such a need and such an opportunity to serve your country and yourself as there is today in the United States Army if you're qualified there are careers open for you in radio radar weather communications and many many other fields so pay a visit to your nearest United States Army recruiting station without delay and get full details and now your United States Army presents the proudly we hail production a knockout performance our play is concerned with two words amateur theatricals written on a classification form to sergeant Dave Gordon these were important words but suppose we let him tell you about it two words that I completely forgot about after I wrote them down but then I never had an occasion to think about them much after that interview with the classification sergeant for as soon as I finished my 13 weeks training as an infantryman I was shipped to Europe where I joined a line outfit naturally we were kept pretty busy for a few months until the end of the war when we found ourselves stationed in Wiesbaden Germany a resort city I was just starting to enjoy life again until one day several weeks after VE day I received orders transferring me to a division that was slated for occupation duty in Germany it wasn't until the next afternoon that I found out the answer when I arrived at regimental headquarters of my new outfit in a town about 60 miles north of Wiesbaden Corporal Gordon reporting sir oh yes yes I'm glad you got here corporal I'm Lieutenant Rooney special services officer for the regiment yes sir but lieutenant is this where I'm supposed to report yeah that's right corporal something wrong well I know sir except that I I don't see how I fit in with special service I only had experience in the line I see well I suppose an explanation is an order as you may know corporal our regiment has just been assigned to occupation duty in this area and that means we have small detachments scattered out and about all two dozen villages yes sir we can do it in many different ways but one of the best is to entertain them entertain them yes and well that's where you come in me boy somebody sure fouled up sir how's that well I have hard enough time keeping myself entertained let alone anyone else now you've got me I saw your 201 file down in Wiesbaden and I had you transferred since your division was slated for deactivation and there was no one in our regiment with theatrical experience my 201 file yes it indicates that you were in amateur theatricals in civilian life you mean where it says avocations and hobbies yes well that's right isn't it yes sir but good now I've decided to organize a show troop to tour the regiment a variety show and I'm going to put you in complete charge of the project corporal it'll be your baby but there's one thing I'd like to see and that is the show on the road as soon as possible a variety show you say sir yes and since we have no show people in the regiment you'll have to use civilians for entertainers displaced persons or Germans where will I get them sir I've already asked the town major to place an ad in the local paper now within the next few days there should be some results all right corporal you'd better run along and draw your bedding you'll have a room upstairs yes sir and corporal remember the show must go on and I had been through some mighty rough times during my combat days but that night as I lay on my bed unable to sleep I thought I would have gone through them again a dozen times rather than do what Lieutenant Rooney wanted me to do in all my life I had probably seen about two vaudeville shows but there it was in my 201 file amateur theatricals and I didn't know how to explain it away I finally fell asleep and dreamed I was being chased by a spotlight the next morning I awoke in a cold sweat a condition I got to know quite well during the days that followed good morning Corporal Gordon do you have a nice sleep I guess so I just got word from the town major that some applicants have shown up at his office for the show and I suggest that you drop around there to audition them huh audition them yeah that's right have them go through their acts to see if they're okay oh Lieutenant Rooney I'm afraid I might need some help when all you'll have it corporal you'll have it I've already arranged for the pianist from the band to be there to play the music that isn't it's nine o'clock already I have to get down to the PX warehouse now let me know how it turns out corporate the town major's office was in the village municipal building and in the basement was a rap scholar sort of German beer hall there was a little stage with a piano on which a soldier was playing and sitting there was a girl and a man private Smith your pianist I'm glad to meet you Smith is this all that showed up that's all there ain't no more in the whole town what surely there there ought to be more than two no there are no other are you sure yeah it is only a little town well that's not so good what's your name are you both German I am he displayed certain Polish my name is a love ski I see I'm Corporal Gordon I'm in charge of putting a show together for American troops country I'm in first day yeah I understand you bus man for sure uh-huh but I don't see how it'll be much of a show with only two what do you call them acts what's matter ain't you gonna MC MC what's that MC master ceremonies you know introduce the acts make with the jokes me be in the show well that's some joke alright well the only two acts it looks like you'll have to if you want to show it's not me it's Lieutenant Rooney who wants it whoever wants it you better get started with the auditions auditions yeah yeah I guess I better all right who wants to go first all right I go first sure what do you do I dance oh tap dancer huh yes okay I guess you want some music all right how about two choruses of tea for two all right there goes wasn't a bad looking girl I figured the guys wouldn't mind that but after watching her a minute I wasn't so sure I didn't know anything about dancing but even to my inexperienced I I could say she was a pretty poor tap dancing couldn't seem to get the rhythm of something right okay thanks how about you mr. love ski yes something slow for music please he stripped off his shirt and started doing a few summer salts and cartwheels nothing that we didn't or couldn't do back in my gym class in the YMCA finish please is that all yes yes say smithy what do you think in one word stinks both of them yeah oh well folks I'm sorry but I don't think oh just a minute hello is that you Gordon yes and this is Lieutenant Rooney did those entertainers show up yes sir but I just got a call from the CEO of company a he says his men need entertainment ban now you make plans to take the show there the day after tomorrow day after tomorrow lieutenant I don't need anything don't hesitate to ask oh I've got to get away for a staff meeting now goodbye the lieutenant was a very busy man I was beginning to see but what I needed he couldn't give me a good show instead of the six minutes of third rate entertainment I now had well I finally decided that I'd better nail the lieutenant down and tell him the facts of show business show business that is in the town of Sheckenhausen and where I stood in you were finished couple finished that's the right word for it all right good brand do you want us for the show well I'll tell you if the show goes on the road you'll be in it I don't have much of a choice do I I hustled back to the special service office but Lieutenant Rooney had already left I sat down for a moment trying to sort things out of my mind and as I sat there my eyes fell in a book in the bookcase by the lieutenant's desk now I'm not much for reading but when I saw the title on that little pocket book I almost jumped at it it was one of the books issued by special service designed to help the personnel of SSO and doing their jobs and this was the one I could really use a book of jokes pattern routines for a soldier mc to use in working up shows well after one look at it I saw there was enough stuff in it to fill out a two hour show let alone a half hour one all I had to do was memorize what I needed and I started in a couple of minutes later when I was trying to figure out the punchline in a gag special service office grubble Gordon yes it's private smithal oh yeah yeah what's up something very interesting I found out and it's something I think you should know too before you go making any rash decisions and what's it about your show I think you're going to have a different one than you expected far different you're listening to the proudly we hail production a knockout performance we'll return in just a moment for the second act high school seniors ensure a secure well-paying future by preparing for it now the united states armies reserved for you program will guarantee you a classroom seat in an exciting army technical career course before you enlist you'll get top-notch training and on the job experience while serving side by side with america's finest young men and women the choice is wide open and it's all yours to make high school graduates can take their choice of from more than 100 interesting courses everything from atomic technician to welding the fact filled booklet reserved for you tells you all about this program you'll learn of many other fine army benefits too like regular pay increases promotions exciting travel assignments and unbeatable leisure time activities get in on the swing get your free copy of reserved for you by visiting or writing your nearest united states army recruiting station you're listening to proudly we hail and now we present the second act of a knockout performance oh hi smith what's up well after you left a while ago i found out a couple of things how about my about these two jisela and mr olufsky here yeah what i'll tell you in a minute but first uh take a look at this all right jisela do you want to try that again now dig this gordon while smith sat down at the piano the girl climbed up on the stage and began to dance she was wearing toe shoes now instead of tap shoes and if i hadn't known otherwise i would have sworn she was somebody else because where she was all elbows and stiff moving before now she was light and graceful instead of being shy and embarrassed she was in perfect command of herself i didn't know much about what kind of dancing she was doing i figured it was some kind of ballet stuff but whatever it was i i thought it was good and it was beautiful in a sad sort of way when she came to the end for some reason there was a kind of lump in my throat the kind you get when you hear taps being played late at night as the music died away she stood for a moment her head bowed and then smith started playing another piece i knew the music but i didn't find out until later that it was what they call cancan music sort of dance that french music called girls used to dance and now the girl changed again her head tossing big smile brightening her face she kicked her legs high like a frisky young cold prancing through a pasture she was so convincing that i even chuckled out loud i was so carried away with it that i suddenly found myself applauding her when she's finished well i guess i don't have to ask you how you liked it oh you sure don't smith i don't know anything about dancing but that was great chisella great oh thank you copper i'm glad how come you didn't do this for your audition before well i i want to please you copper al so i try to dance like american dances i see in movies but i'm not very good at tap dancing well to be honest i have to agree with you on that but you're dancing now you should have done that before it was very good it should be you want to know something gordon she was a ballerina with the dusseldorf opera and with other dance companies all classical stuff and she thought maybe that kind of dancing was too high brow for soldiers well it may be high brow but it got me and if it gets me it should get anyone anyway we'll find out soon enough from now on chisella you are the ballerina of the regimental special service show oh thank you copper al thank you gordon i got something else for you too smith if it's as good a surprise as this one i'll make you assistant director of this show i'll take it listen this guy here he ain't no acrobat you're telling me yeah listen he's a vaudeville act i don't get it he's a roller skater but his skates are in warsaw you mean you have an act worked up on skates yeah i skate for 15 years in big theaters all over europe i make a good show for you if i have skates well don't worry we'll get your pair you two take a break for a few minutes i've got something to talk over with private smith here well what's on your mind gordon you have any ideas that might help to make the show better than the ideas i might have i played some shows before i got in the army let's see he had some ideas all right and they sounded good he suggested we have some audience participation stuff to fill out the show like a rumba contest with the guys taking turns dancing with the girl the best one getting a prize from the px we also worked up a couple of routines between him and me the best one being where i'd pretend i was a mind reader and he'd go out in the audience asking me questions that i would answer now it's like this gordon i'll take a coin from somebody and ask you what is the date and you say uh june 10th or whatever the date of that day is get it yeah sure and then i'll ask some more goofy questions where we have the answers all figure out ahead of time and we'll end up by me going over to one of the guys and sticking my finger under his collar then i'll ask you what do i have under my finger and you answer dirt oh they'll get a kick out of that oh we better start rehearsing right away uh folks now here's how the show is going to be the rest of the afternoon we went over what we had worked up in it seemed to shape up all right then after rehearsal i made a few trips around town trying to find skates for a lopsky but it was no soap at that time things were pretty bad in germany and there was nothing to be had in any of the shops when i got back to the office i found lieutenant rooney waiting for him well how'd you make out today corporal not bad lieutenant considering everything well what have you got for acts a girl dancer oh tap dancer no ballet ballet yes jumping jihad so fat corporal this is to be a show for soldiers not for long hairs oh they'll be bored stiff by that kind of dancing i would have thought that too lieutenant i saw her dance and take my word for it she'll be okay well i hope so because this show has got to be good at the staff meeting today i found out that the general of the division has given top priority to the morale of the men and as a result our colonel has personally ordered me to get a show on the road by tomorrow tomorrow yes but that's impossible corporal impossible is a word used only by civilians yes now why is it impossible well you see i only have one other act beside the girl and for him we need a pair of roller skates and i can't buy any in this skating act well so we're going to go for that all right okay okay i'll check with supply they might have some well if they don't we'll be in a jam sir because without skates the guy's going to be a dead duck and the show don't worry corporal we'll do something about it but remember the show's going out tomorrow skates or no skates he didn't have to tell me twice i got out my book started practicing jokes again out loud i remember the time i took a physical to get into the army the doctor asked me if i had any scars on me no i said i haven't any scars but i can give you a cigarette i was so dumb that once i saluted a truck because it said on it general hauling as i stood there alone in the office going over the jokes i began to feel that they weren't as funny as i had thought they were either that or it was the way i was saying them i didn't know which something was bothering me but it wasn't until the phone rang that i discovered what it was hello special service corporal gordon speaking lieutenant roney listen corporal supply doesn't have any roller skates oh no oh yes now you'd better be prepared to work without him tomorrow night there's still one more place i can try but be prepared chin up and all that sort of thing yeah both of them both of them both of my chin sir that's that's a joke i got out of a joke book after he hung up i knew what was bothering me here i was the guy who had spent most of his time behind the machine gun trying to be a comedian the book from special service said that the only thing an mc had to do was speak out loud and clear and everything else would follow but now i wasn't so sure it was right still i had to go through with it somehow an amateur comedian and his amateur straight man a dancer whose dancing was probably too high brow and a skater who didn't have any skates i went to bed and after another sleepless night things didn't look much better good morning corporal all set to go yes good now i won't be able to get there with you today but i have every confidence that you'll do a good job lieutenant rooney oh excuse me please special service lieutenant rooney oh good morning colonel oh yes sir it's all set what he is yes sir oh yes sir yes yes sir goodbye sir corporal that was the colonel he just told me that the general is going to make a special trip to the regiment today to the third platoon of company a he wants to catch your show he wants he wants to see our show yes goodbye lieutenant i'll come back here carl this throws a new light on the situation you're not only saying it lieutenant the show has got to be good now what do you need besides skates funny but i won't be able to get it in one day i'll see what i can do on those skates i haven't given up yet never say die i always say that night we found ourselves in a beer hall that had been converted into a sort of service club for the men of the third platoon the stage was dusty and after smithy and i swept it off we rehearsed a little but today our hearts were it in it what it seems so good yesterday now is flat and stale and i knew we were going to lay the biggest egg that was ever laid in shell business and right in the commanding general's lap finally came show time i stood on the stage and looked out through a crack in the curtain the show would begin when the general arrived well well was he here yet no not yet smithy now uh folks now this is the way the show will run we'll open uh with a dance by jizella and i'll do some jokes and smithy and i will do our gags and we'll close the show with mr alofsky i'm sorry we couldn't get your skates mr alofsky i do the best i can go but i don't you worry gordon i got something figured out that'll be a knockout a real knockout way you see it oh the general's coming i better get out to my piano well kids good luck the lights went down and the curtains parted and there i was face to face with 50 soldiers and a general my first joke went over that was all i needed when i heard their laughter a load rolled off my back and i felt somehow more at ease a couple of more jokes and then jizella went into a dance i watched the guys and and my hunch was right they sat spellbound watching and i knew that at least the beginning of the show was a success and when she was half through somebody tapped me on the shoulder couple gordon lieutenant rooney hmm i've got something for you look roller skates lieutenant how did you get them they came in from frankfurt special service that's wonderful wonderful oh couple the show looks good i'll watch it from out front jizella came off to a big hand finally came the time for smithy and me to do our mind-reading act that's when it happened all great and glorious reader of the mind can you tell me which state this soldier comes from the date june 12 1945 all right and now i had a piece of cheesecloth around my eyes tied so that i could see through it while i waited for the last question i took a look at the q sheet of paper i had hidden in my hand and when i looked up again what i saw almost made me take off from the stage and grab smithy but it was too late he was already there standing beside the general with his finger under the general's collar and now tell me oh all seeing eye of kismet what do i have we had rehearsed it so much that i i couldn't help myself it came out of its own accord i repeat what do i have under my finger dirt so that had been smithy's knockout idea it sure knocked me out all right what happened after that i have only a hazy idea of but they told me that the rumber contest was a big success and that the roller skating really tore down the house when the curtain closed at the end of the show i sat down in a corner and slowly tore up my joke book after what had happened with the general i was sure i would have no further use for it corporal garden yes lieutenant really somebody to see you general hawkins corporal congratulations a great show simply great but thanks general but that that collar business i'm sorry i'm sorry about that what for that was the best piece in the show anyway he was telling the truth you know on the deep ride up i got some mud splashed on my collar so you see it was a knockout performance high school seniors here's an important message for you the united states army is reserved for you program will guarantee you a classroom seat in an exciting army technical career course before you enlist you'll get top notch training on the job experience while serving side by side with america's finest young men the choice is wide open and it's yours to make high school graduates can choose from more than 100 interesting career courses that range from atomic technician through welding a fact filled booklet called reserve for you tells you about the entire program get in on the swing get your free copy of reserve for you by visiting or writing your nearest united states army recruiting station this has been another program on proudly we hail presented transcribed in cooperation with this station proudly we hail is produced by the recruiting publicity center in new york for the united states army and this is mark hamilton speaking inviting you to tune in this same station next week for another interesting story on proudly we hail