 Howdy how's it going? My name's Davy Chappy, and one of the things that you don't realize when becoming an internet personality is that whether you like it or not, a cult will materialize from the mists of the internet to praise you as the messiah of dice. And if you ask them not to do that, then they will politely but firmly tell you that it isn't your choice. You are the patron now, such as the case with Yonti, except that their cults are largely mind controlled, and asking them to leave will cause them to politely but firmly stab you in the gut. Today we'll be reading from the book of Volo and learning how we may better serve our lizard people overlords. As always, keep in mind that a lot of this is just my opinion, so if you feel like evil masquerading reptiles should stay in the nameless city where they belong, then feel free to play your games however you want. And real quick, I'd like to give a brief shout out to my new patrons this month. Night of Chaos, Zach Bowman, Timothy Chatman, not Chapman, Topping Davy, Aaron Rhysbeck, Rhysbeck Rhysbeck, uh, change your name. Tom Goodman, also known as Tao Omnicron 2500, David Jones, David Pantaleoni, XP Level 3, Hashin Kalayla. Thank you all so much for pledging to my Patreon. Hopefully one day I will gain the literary knowledge necessary to pronounce your names correctly. But with that out of the way, let's begin. So Yonti are tribalistic snake people that come in all kinds of different flavors, like snakes with legs, legs with snakes, and snakes with, ahem, mammary glands. With the power of their charms, the Yonti are often found when adventurers go stumbling into an ancient ruin looking for something that they can believe is butter, only to be met by an entire local game store's worth of greasy creepers and hoods that have been magically convinced that defeating the party will earn them a black lotus MTG card just along as they take them back to the game store owners, the Yonti. The primary reptile diet of a young teen consists of field mice and humanoid prisoners, which the Yotsies keep a stockpile of because their mantra is capture, not kill. An initially comforting saying, only made more sinister with the knowledge that the plain yellow T's main reason to exist is to turn unsuspecting normies into snakes. An effort accomplished by using a profane cookbook gifted by their snake gods that calls for several servings of slaves, a tablespoon of ritualistic sacrifice, and four quarts of cumin. See, long ago, back in the olden days of undisclosed time period, a little human nation discovered how to work the, at the time, very advanced metal known as steel, and they shared their advancements with the world. If by that you mean that they stabbed all their neighbors and didn't get stabbed back because human-propelled rocks aren't any good against full suits of armor. The steel nation gained a surplus of food, slaves, and more steel as a result of their subjugations, and it left the nation's leaders free to ponder the more intellectual disputes, like, are slaves actually an ethically viable resource, and hey, our deities, the Serpent Gods, say that they'll remake us in their image if we just murder a chunk of our slaves, should we do it? And their answer to both of those questions was yes. Thusly, the Yonti were born, and they managed to survive for a good few centuries before enough snake ludes were drawn to make everybody uncomfortable, and soon the Yalyok tea leafs had dragons, Nagas, their own people, some of their own gods, and the surrounding cities who couldn't figure out how steel worked and had to make do with iron, all rising up to attack the steel nation, forcing the Yimtims to flee to every patch of tall grass in the world. Now the snake people work in cells, using their wily charms and promises of snake booty to create cults for both themselves and their profane snake gods, hoping to one day become a mighty nation once more, and until then, hoping to stop getting attacked by random adventuring groups looking for lost treasure. And on that note, fighting Yonti is, in a word, awful. In two words, it's really awful, and in many words, it's easily my least favorite thing in the entire world to do with my time as an adventurer. It doesn't matter what level you are, Yonti are the worst, and they do not stop being the worst, the stronger you get, so at least they're consistent with how much I want to drive my head through a dungeon wall. What the snake people lack in interesting lore and memorable attributes they more than make up for in the asinine gimmick that their entire race has, for it is only when you cut down the mooks guarding the door to the pyramid and run inside to face off with the boss that you come face to face with their irresistible power. Yeah, imagine that. Even if you aren't a scaly, you'll still be at risk to succumb to the sexy snake people, like it's a game of XCOM and you've just had one too many lonely days. Suddenly, all the teamwork and strategy that you've built over for the adventure gets undermined as the DM charms one of the party members, and that player gets to take out all their frustrations about not getting any of the good loot. Now I can already hear the lot of you internet funny men preparing your laughs and wisdom saves, or laughs and stillness of mind, or some other variation of the most stale and cringy joke from 2014. But keep in mind that there are four of you in an average party, so while you can chuckle all you on that the enemy can't get you, the yonte will be the ones with the last laugh when your snickering gets overshadowed by the barbarians mass of tits after they've decided that snake people make a lot of sense, and that the clerics who's been doing nothing but trying to make your life easier is the real enemy. And since each yonte can charm people three times innately, and there are more yogurt tubes in a temple than there are in Indiana Jones' Bogart closet, it doesn't matter if you manage to save against one charm because they're just going to keep loosing them at you like they're pokeballs and you're the greatest pokemon in the game, Badoof. But it isn't all bad, Volos Guide to Monsters doesn't just come with enough information about yonte life that you could use it to create your own dating sim, but it also comes with playable stats so that you can put your slithery charms to good use on the side of the party. As a yonte you'll get bonuses to charisma and intelligence, dark vision, a magical resistance to spells and other spell effects, poison immunity because ha ha poison damage, and the innate ability to cast poison spray as well as animal friendship, but that only works on snakes. Finally, as if the yonte wasn't beefy enough, at third level your magic evolves to give you the quintessential spell that makes you truly oblite upon humanity, Suggestion. Now technically you're only allowed to play a pure blood, meaning you look mostly human but with some extra snake bits that you'll want to have only be seen by your lover right before you wrap around them in a surprise mating coil, but if you want to extend your snake heresy out to the other species of noodle, talk to your DM. Most of the yonte stats are pretty universal, so you could feasibly just use them and then maybe add one or two new traits for snake arms. Now go out there snake man and shed some skin for the serpent gods, but then I'll not do it. I hope you enjoyed this video, be sure to leave a like, comment, subscribe, check out my social media in the description below, and maybe support me on Patreon so that I can afford some body oil to keep my scales all nice and slippery during the dry season. But yeah, dabby out.