 So you see, friends, the bodies in the water were really the friends we found along the way. No! Oh, hey, Newt. I need you to clean up the- Redacted. Right meow. Thanks. SCP-106 has breached containment. Put the D-Class in the femur breaker to lure it back. We're trying, sir. We're trying. But the femur breakers have no effect. What? Apparently, it's a no bones day. Damn you, noodle. Need a hug. Hmm. That was my hug noise. Sorry! I didn't actually see you approach you. Just leave us. Dr. Sherman has made an error. Isn't he silly? The fallen MTF members are immersed in an unidentified fluid. I can identify Officer Llewellyn, Officer Dewford, and Officer Hubert. That's how you know, Madeline. That's how you know. That's how you know. Because that was fucking water. SCP-3086 is a self-replicating fictional character brought into being when referred to in text or image form. Instances can be created by writing or typing its proper name. George the Chinchilla. That's right. You're pal George the Chinchilla here to tell you all about my paw. This isn't what I wrote. Sorry. Let's see. It's all sizz-lack. Oh my God. I didn't write any of this. I didn't write. You know, in a very technical sense, one could say that the foundation is pro-flat Earth. Not that we don't believe the Earth is a globe. That would be ridiculous. But because we want this beach to stop making waves. Be flat! Be normal! Please! Dr. Mora asks, Why don't we use a pre-recorded scream when SCP-106 breaches instead of putting a D-class in the femur breaker? And I'm sorry to say, that's pretty much like the scream your mom says we have at home. The old man can tell the difference. Holy smokes, guys. Take a look at this. Cleaned it up just a little bit. How about that for some bling? Had to have been like a brush handle, maybe a mirror. How awesome is that? She was wisely, Dr. Greenstone. I'd like to believe about this war. First time hearing of it, but 16 Protect sounds good. But Torture sounds good, too, so... Attention all personnel. Evacuate the facility immediately. SCP-452 on his breach containment. It's already eaten 7 security personnel. We haven't yet made it scream, but we made it hungry. For vengeance! Hey, wait, Paris social relationships are unhealthy. I don't give a pair of fuck. This is my best friend. This is my best friend. I have this guy that I need to, you know, two asses in an eight. I need you to get me some plutonium. Plutonium too easy to trace. We use banana. Bananas are radioactive? Yes. Are you sure that radioactive bananas are more discreet than plutonium? You tell me, you see plutonium on ground and you see banana, which you're more worried about. I get that, but again, it's going to be a lot of bananas, right? Or just one really radioactive one. You need to trust Dedo. Banana just as effective as plutonium. Plus you can't trace banana. Who does finger get pointed at grocery store? Alright. SCP-3521 are anomalous gel tablets that dissolve in water. When ingested by a subject, an extremely large amount of unpeeled bananas start manifesting in the subject's stomach. We at the Foundation believe that this was meant to cause a lethal dose of radiation, but the subject is first killed by gross crush trauma by 9.15 million kilograms of bananas manifesting in their stomach. We lost Site 92 testing that on a D-class. If you have any information on the para-pharmacologist Dedo, please alert the Foundation immediately. Oh God, what is that? It's a Leo Plurodon, Charlie. Magical Leo Plurodon. It's going to guide our way to Candy Mountain. Alright guys, you do know that there's no actual Candy Mountain, right? Shun the Non-Believer. Mmmhmm. SCP Foundation, how can I... What the... Come on! This really bacon wraps my asparagus. We at the Foundation spend all our time dying in the dark so you can live in the light, protecting the veil of secrecy from mortal men, and you shatter the veil with a banana? You put that back where you found it, mister. Excuse me? D-class is summoning the entity. Sure. The entity will acquiesce to an unreasonable request. Anything else for you? Just a milk. Beverage coming from spatial anomaly. That's not how milk works. Now the entity should... ...disapparate. 049, you're distracting the trainees! Cover up! I swear I'm going to send that gender-switching stone to another site. What are you doing? Are you missing my point or are you just mocking me? My long and merciful lord who is not a loop, I give up! It looks like the new containment experiment from Researcher Coyote Dog arrived. The thesis being, would the SCPs be easier to contain if they were small? Here you can see SCP-049 enjoying a plate of lavender macaroons. And here we have the teeniest, tiniest little SCP-999 with a comically large teddy bear to keep it company. I consider this an absolute win. But leave a comment and tell Researcher Coyote Dog what you think of their experiment. I hope I never get sober and I hope when you think of me years down the line you can't find one good thing to say and I hope if I found the strength to walk out you'd stay the hell out of my way. I am drowning there is no sign of land you are coming down with me hand in unlovable hand and I hope you die I hope we both die. Oh, at least this dream entity seems friendly. Oh, there's bigger ones. Still not Freddy Krueger bad, but oh, there's a lot more. And where'd you go? Where'd you- Oh, you melt this Freddy Krueger! Hey there, Site-42 fan. It's come to my attention that not a lot of people know that we have a Site-42 SCP merch store. We commission art from multiple artists to make SCP-related merch and we've got stickers for the Site-42 channel and so if you want some SCP merch as well as helping support the Site-42 channel teespring.com slash stores slash Site-42. Thank you in advance and cheers.