 It's five o'clock, it's five o'clock. So yeah, we're going to do this best thing. And we're going to do the washroom work. So anybody in the room can get around. You know that if you're not here for washroom work, just, like, they always stay pretend we're not here. We're here for washroom work. Does anybody not know how, now that some of you are familiar with body healthy, does everybody know how washroom work goes? Give me a very smooth one. That's great, that's great. Everybody know how washroom work goes? Yes, we're going to spend 20 minutes working on our own work and then we're going to spend remainder of the time. I will answer questions about your creative process. If you have questions about your creative process, I'll be happy to talk with you about your own individual creative process. And we have people behind the camera. We have folks watching online as they do every time we do this. And I'm just going to tell them how to get in touch with those people. So you can get in touch with us with some questions if you want by tweeting at Watch Me Work SLP and you can hashtag HowlRound, which is an H-O-W-L-R-O-U-M-D. And there's a new thing. You can actually use the chat feature on the video chat. There's a little chat bubble when you go to the thing. That gets super cool. And they can like talk? Yeah, they can still type up. But yeah, you can type it into the chat and I'll be looking at that as well. Oh, that's very cool. Yeah. Okay. James, Crystal was usually about 700 tweets. She's actually here, which is very exciting. I'm sorry. Anyway, so we're going to do that. We're going to work for, so let's work for 20 minutes because I got some shit to do. All right. Are you ready, Audrey? I'm ready. One, two, three. So hopefully we got something. A friend of yours came to the middle of your work session and said hi. That was a familiar work, but he was an awesome actor. And I don't see her quite enough. So it was really nice that she stopped by. Something happened. She was in the middle of work and you get up and hug a friend. And you just get right back to it. So does anybody have any questions or, you know, answers? No questions about your work or your creative process. And we'll talk about it. Remind me of your name. Holly. Holly Berry. Maybe I'll remember that now. And I have to say something. I have to have a little, there's a song, there's a Christmas song. You probably know all of the, you know, there's a Christmas song. Is that the holly you mean? Oh, there's that one, too. The holly and the ivy. Holly Jolly Christmas? Oh, there's that one, too. I thought of you of those. The holly and the ivy. We can make a whole playlist, sir. So I, hey, anything? Questions? Solutions? Answers? Where'd you get these? Oh, did you, did you go to the sea? Did you, last time? No. Go on. I won't bring them. No, it's okay. No, you went up on a mountain. My kids make them. No, it's okay. No, it's okay. No, you went up to the, went up on a mountain. My kids make them mountains. And you lost your, and then you came down the mountains. No, no, what's your question today? That was your question last time. Yeah. So, you know, it's kind of one writing or trying to put a story together. It feels like, I like to call it like shards of glass that like form a little thing of some sort. Oh, yes. Shards of glass. It's all pieces. Yes. And, so coming back to this story of me and then I kind of have to start from scratch, I can't really remember lots of it because I stepped away from it too long as we all saw me cry about it. So I think my question is how do I, you know, even in this, it's pieces. Nothing is in order. How do I, how can I somewhat, because even if in writing the outline or imagining the mental creative imaginary work, there are like clouds, there are gaps in the story. So I feel like I've kind of, I've lost my way as far as even having an order of events. I know that the climax, I know the end, I know the beginning, I know things that kind of lead to certain things, but not necessarily the thread to get back on the work. It's literally working in pieces and projects. But it's kind of frustrating because it feels like, kind of like my attention span, where it's like every which way. So I'm having a little bit of trouble zoning in. And everybody knows that we know what happened just this summer. So Crystal wrote this whole draft and then her computer completely crashed and she lost the draft. It's very traumatic. So we're going to try to talk to you about, we're going to talk to you about ways that you can overcome the mountain, literally, figuratively, emotionally. Right. Because we're constantly, it almost happened today. Like I was looking and I was writing. I was like, oh we might cry today. Just because of the personal. Sure. And it's a really intense story, the thing you're writing about. So it makes it even twice, three times, ten times harder. So it's just kind of emotional preservation. And then artistic writer frustration. Like how do we funnel it in the right place to get to the point of making a cohere? Yeah. So, story. Listen to your story again, I'm thinking, is there any way that having lost some of it is part of the story, the first draft? The written story? Yeah. And I sneak out while she thinks that that's interesting. That's fine, that's fine. You know? Is there any way that that could, I don't know, instead of like trying to just, you know, get over it, which is a harsh, you know, directive. So we're not just saying, just get over it. But I'm saying, is there any way to embrace it, to recognize the fact that you did all this work and lost it, part of the story that you're telling? And it's okay if you get sad about it. We don't. That's okay. You see what you know what I mean? I know. As I remember the story, and it's a fictionalized account of something that went down. But part of the sadness of this actual story was that you guys, the family in the story had done all this work. And it was as if none of it counted. It was a racial thing that happened with the school and like relationships kind of being marred or new relationships being marred because of it. That's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, in my experience, when a racial thing happens, a racial or something goes down, which isn't about you, but it's about like how you present, i.e. your race, your gender, your sexuality, whatever. It's as if all the hard work that you've done is being discounted in favor of some bullshit. You see what I'm saying? In favor of some circumstances that are beyond your control. You know what I'm saying? Which sounds a lot like all the work you did is being just washed away. You see what I'm saying? You understand what I'm saying? It's coming slowly. It's okay. Just the connection between what's going on in your day-to-day and the fictionalized story you're trying to tell. Encouraging you to embrace the difficulty instead of just get over it. I'm just going to project for the rest of the time. Thank you. Anyway, just as another sort of coping mechanism, not that that's going to go better or whatever. Also, every time there's a cloud, every time you see a cloud, say, the sun's still out there. I just can't see it. You know, I want you to use what's going on instead of, you know, you say putting things together for pieces. Do you have anyone, have you ever seen a quilt? It's like a checkpoint. But you know what I mean? And quilts came about, you know, because people were using pieces of things. They didn't have a whole, I mean now it's an art form, you know, and we're all like in awe of it and shit. But back in the day, you know, mostly women, because mostly women would do the work, would make quilts for pieces of things. No one had a whole big expanse of cloth to make something. They had a piece of this and a piece of that and a little leftover scrap of that and all they had was a little bit of that. And they made quilts out of them. Just what you're doing is in the tradition great things. I mean we've talked about this before, but we can talk about it as many times as we have to talk about it. And your task is to persevere and not to say that what you've went through already, the real story, the reality stories are hard enough. But to tell it, this is exactly what used to happen. I know. But we're glad you're here. It's hard, you know? I mean, what would be easier, right? What's easier than writing? Can we think of anything that's easier than writing? Right, I know, right? Isn't it great? Like, we could all just like sit on our ass. Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. That was an adult word you should not use that word. That was my mistake. I'm sorry. I apologize. You could just sit down and like boom. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. Hey, you know? Or complain about it a lot. People do that. They sit around and they don't, you know, because they don't have the ability for the time. Or they're just too damn tired because they've got too much else to do. But you've decided to step up and stand up and do it. You know? Unfortunately, you know, we don't have to, like, march over the Pettus Bridge anytime soon. But just what? You know? Yeah. So just, you know, you could say, I know there's a cloud there, and I can't not remember for the life of you what happened in my first draft. I'm just going to say there's a cloud there. I know there's a sun behind it. I'm just going to write cloud. You can do that. Cloud of scurrying and the beautiful writing that I had with my computer crashed on the mountain. Every time it comes up, you can just write that. Cloud. I know there's a sun behind it. And in it, there's a silver lining because that's what I choose to believe about clouds. You know? You could also believe, oh, it's the end of the world. Everything's going to go, like, become awful. Sorry, limited because my four-letter words are... I want to, you know what I mean? But that's something we can do. Like, every time you see that difficult spot, you don't know, oh, I can't remember. Just put cloud, silver lining inside, sunshine behind it. Keep going. Don't let it stop you. You know the phrase, ain't nobody going to turn me around. What do you think they meant? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I mean, this is, you know, this is like one of those times. This little line of mine, I'm going to let it shine. What do you think they meant, other than that awful-watching TV? I don't watch TV anymore. But there was a show on TV. What's that actor's name? Vincent D'Onofrio. You know? That long order or something. Yeah, he was always doing that. I started doing that years ago. That's not myself. I don't watch TV anymore. I don't want to pick up any more habits like that. But, you know, what do you think they meant? That's what they meant. You don't have to break away and run through the wilderness toward the North, following the North Star anymore. We'll have to do it anytime soon. But, just what? What do you think we're preparing for? Come on, repeat. No, I don't know. We can, you know, this is the thing. The cool thing about this class is that when one person asks a question that is very specific to what you're, she's going through, it has a cool thing where it, I guarantee you it helps somebody else to have a conversation about it. Because that's the magic. Okay? So, you repeat, actually, you're performing a great service because you're doing this really heavy stuff and allowing us to have a conversation about it. So, you're actually performing a great service to the class about going through difficulty. Okay? Thank you. Anybody else have a... Yeah, man, remind me of your name. My name is Wallace. Hi, Wallace. Hi, good to see you again. Good to see you. Yeah. My friend with me. Hi, there. Thank you so much for coming. Oh, wow. What an honor. Another one of my friends over there. Hey, hi. Hi, how are you? What's your name? I'm Alexa. And, man, what do you... Me? Me now? Oh, great to meet you guys. Right. Look at you. Yeah? Well, because it's awesome. Because you're awesome. So, I came here and the reason why I was late is because I'm training for a new job and it's like... Right. But it's not job writing. It's a job making a living and trying to get to where I can have a life where I can write. So, I was thinking recently, it feels like I need a lot of help with, like, focusing my writing practice. Right. Right. And I was thinking graduate program, getting an MFA. I tried to get an MFA before. Okay. But the program really wasn't compatible with the way that I learned. Okay. And so, I'm 51. Okay. So, I was just wondering if you had any suggestions about how to, like, get the most out of, like, how can I best use a MFA program at this... to help a sort of working person focus their writing practice. Because I can't do it by myself. Like, I don't know the first thing about getting... I mean, I know some things about getting a manuscript. Right. But, like, having a professor looking at my stuff and, like, really critiquing it, that's what I would love to know if you could offer some guidance. Sure. Sure, sure, sure. I think MFA's programs can be really great in that they were classes for that way. Not necessarily MFA programs. Those are classes that will culminate in some kind of degree. Great. Yay. Okay. There are a lot of wonderful programs around the city and throughout the country, which you know about. What's cool about classes is that they provide you with some kind of a shape, you know, to your process and help your process, encourage your process. Right. And that's what classes are really good. I take classes, like I have a guitar teacher in Echo and they teach me things. And I take... I'm going to start German classes in a couple weeks. Good. Yeah, that's it with you. I used to speak German because I was a child. You know, I lost her. So classes are great. I think the trick is to, like you said, to choose a type of program that's going to be best suited for what you need. And I... I'm not so knowledgeable about different kinds of programs. I know places like the new school or more kind of... they have flexible... I think they used to do it. They have kind of a flexible program where you can kind of design it. CUNY also might have a cool program. I teach it in my youth but that's kind of rigid, you know. Like they take in people and lots of training. It's kind of stupid about... I don't know if that's... that's a bit about... at least the back into the wild, basically, which has advantages and not so much. But I would say a program that is geared to people who are working people and will give you lots of support and also help you see like, okay, and when I finish these classes, when I graduate from the program I can have some kind of community. Because I think that's the most important thing, right? A community that can give you ongoing support. Also, doesn't have to be an immigrant program again. I know back in the day the poetry project used to have really cool classes. I've taken a lot of classes at the Poetry Project. You know, St. Mark's Poetry Project. Anybody know that? Anyone? Yes. It's like, you know, I'm on 10th Street on 2nd Avenue. They have a lot of cool classes. Really cool community. So you can get a lot of writing done, get critique from a professor and also read your work out loud or perform at the Asian Ethics Theatre, which I used to do a lot of. So, it's tricky. It's finding a program that suits you and you try it once before and you delve a lot about what you need and what you don't need. I mean, I think what I would like to come up with is like a prize and it's like getting published. You know? I've given my work to editors and they say, oh, this needs more work, right? Okay. But then, I'm really proud of what I've done. Right, right. Because you know, I've been like pushing through for years and years without any real support. Right. But I just now would like to be able to focus laser light to say deliver to the editor the thing that will have them say, oh my God. You know? Because it's just like taking it and focusing it. Right, right. That's a great gesture. That's really good. That's really good. Well, have you tried? I mean, have you tried? Have you looked into your school or? No. You know, I've seen the program like at the Burlington and the Bennington, Bennington, okay. There was a school there. Okay. And then Goddard College. Goddard College. And those are some of the things. And then. Leslie University. Leslie. Leslie. Leslie. I have a low res. We're like, if you are a real person. Okay. Okay. Right, exactly. Breadloaf, I know, I know Oscar, you used to teach your breadloaf. They have summer programs and maybe it's an on-going thing. So that's, those are cool. But yeah, if you're a real person. But I know, I'm guessing CUNY, Hunter, I'm just thinking locally, which is great because you're already established in your life here, you know, to take a class at the new school, take a class at CUNY, maybe to take a class at Hunter where they have different age ranges and different levels of professionalism. That's the other thing. It's like having a place where I didn't feel like I was somebody's grandma. Exactly. I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. Also the poetry project. I mean, and this is someone speaking who did not go to grad school. So. I think we're all in there. You know, but, I mean, I took a lot of, but I did take a lot of classes. I just didn't go into formal MFA program. Took a lot of classes at the poetry project. Okay. A lot. And really enjoyed it. Haven't been, haven't taken a class there a while, but it was really great. I learned a lot about writing, how it was surrounded by a really great community. I'll get a lot of the poetry slams and that's all ages of people do that. So, it's not like it's just, you know, 12-year-olds, you know. I wanted to know what kind of writing are you thinking of as a place? What books? Epic poetry. Oh! Epic job! We talk about grand stories. That's right. Oh, that's really great. You know, we go all the way back to my ancestors and we come all the way up to town. But in a poetic form? Yes. Yeah. In some ways, it's like, sometimes it can be forced, you know, but... You know, there's also the poetry center downtown. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is that the one over in Battery City? Yeah. Yeah. The Polar Tap. The Polar Tap, that's what I was trying to think of. And going back to, don't be afraid of going back to because you're older. I went back when I was 50. Uh-huh. I loved it. Kids are so nice to you. Say, did you see it? They'd get up and... No, no, I still remember the first term. They had a party at the end. Uh-huh. A beer party and they had a glass of wine for me. Oh! That's good. Okay. Why are you drinking over here? Yeah. But that's beautiful effort. Wow. That's kind of gorgeous. It's just, you know, you can also kind of create your own program by going to different classes around the city. I think what's important is get yourself matriculated into some kind of class. You know, some kind of formal class and you pay. I mean, it would be like twice a week or once a week where you're actually going to register for a course at some institution or university. That would be great. I'll rent it, of course, but coming here, because this is free. And we love you. And, you know, but definitely... We've got something. Ashley Jenkins is writing in online. She says, when you start writing a play and you start seeing inconsistencies, do you start all over or just get it written and go back later to fix it? What are we saying? You see inconsistencies, do you? Go back. I know we're laughing. People laugh. So that's a great question, Ashley, because a lot of people have that question. And I would suggest that you just... If you're typing it, say, on your word processor, you would just say, oh darn, in the first scene that character's name was Octavia. And now I'm calling her Sally. Continue. You know, I would just say, make a note of it and continue forward. The desire to go back and fix it is, number one, you're thinking you're getting... by the end of it, it's going to be perfect. Now, you can go write a second draft. Also, it's like, oh, it's that story. Lot's wife. You know, Lot's wife. You know, and they look bad and they'll look back, because, you know, something bad's going to happen. It won't happen. She turns... She turns... Right, a pillar of salt. Yeah, so that's what's going to happen. You can be back there with a pillar of salt. Don't... not continue forward. Make notes of your quote-unquote inconsistencies. And when you're finished with your first draft, then you can go back and make them all... and organize them and fix them, because they need to be fixed. Okay? But, yeah, that lure of going back, that's... I know people who do that continually. They rewrite the first, say, three pages of their play, polishing it and polishing it, and they never get any further than that. So, continue. Even if it's... you can... you're telling yourself, like, no, this isn't the greatest writing ever. Who cares? Keep going. Go forward, go forward, go forward, all the way to the end, and then go back, and rewrite. Yes. What's your name? Oh, Biggie. Oh, Biggie. Oh, Biggie? Yes. Oh, that's pretty nice. Thank you. Um, this is cool cause the last... I... I was, um, there when you're at ART. Wow. And it was really... I still hold... ART? That was, like... That was a bit of a go, yeah. Oh, wow. And you gave me, like, really solid advice on... Oh good to know. It wrote it down on the gut and I still I still use it so thank you thank you so much I'm I'm not sleeping and I keep like I keep writing late into the early morning like maybe 3 a.m. yeah no no I wasn't kind of super poetic yeah no like sleep is not the sleep is not coming so I'm just curious so then like I was talking to my doctor today and she was like you should sleep and I was like I'll sleep and right now just I think it's because like the like play that I'm working on it's just kind of bothering me and I'm trying to it's funny you're talking about that polishing the first scene that's happening it's like I'm problem-solving so I guess I'm just curious like if there have been times where you're just like your body is because I know we're trying to all be like you know healthy and everything like I mean I exercise like I'm fine it's much more like sometimes just like the insomniac and the lack of sleep is just not it's just there and I'm like I don't know I don't know I don't want to take melatonin like I don't want to be an enemy I just want to like calm my mind I think it's situational and it's connected to the work it feels right now it's like I think I think it's I mean we have to ask them do you have a meditation I do okay good in the morning well when you wake up you go sleep well in a it's okay yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like when I when I wake up when you wake up yeah definitely yeah okay good when you go to sleep no when you when you toward the end of the actually no when I to work in the evening when I'm trying to go to sleep I do not have a practice so what yeah the first what we want to do right especially if you don't want to take the melatonin or the whatever else is out there yeah or start drinking you can up your your good things you can up your you can up your meditation practice you have it in the morning hours we can say right and you can double up and do them in the late you know you can also do do some kind of physical something yes that's great up your meditation practice I know that you're inside it's situational so probably you know change once you you want to have a still mind not just a frantic fever here I am like because you know I never had a hamster yes okay well there you go you don't want to be a hamster on that wheel or you know banks he's in town he you know you just see the 14th Street the clock on the corner our fortune Street 6 out of his that clock in that sort of abandoned bank you did a little damn thing so basically that you put a rat in that clock yeah it's really bad so there is you don't want to be like that got it right you don't just want to be radically scrabbley you want to have a clear mind and it will probably taper off right and change because it's not a problem you have all the time it's exciting that you have work that's you're so excited by that you want to stay up and work you know because opposite of course would be someone who comes in it says I can't seem to get any work done because I wake up in the morning I'm sleepy and I always want to go to bed you know I'm tired all the time that's you know yeah that's a difficult place to be want to monitor yourself yeah you know yeah I really love what you said last time about how close or how far you are here right so thank you that was really helpful something I noticed in my writing is I you know I have my own identity and my own voice and my own values and politics and point of view right and sometimes I feel like my point of view can be too overt in my writing and I like using this tool of writing from the character's voices versus knowing what my own voice is and finding a place to kind of park it right at the door right but I wonder if you have any suggestions of exercises to hear kind of your unknown voice or surprise yourself more as opposed to you know like as opposed to just I think a lot of it's almost not didactic but just writing for my own point of view and knowing kind of what I'm saying right so you know what you're trying to say with your play yeah I never do I never know what I'm trying to say you know but I wait for people you know they're critics cover they tell me or talk back you know so I would say be more you be more vigorous in your pursuit of other pairs of shoes you know yeah like your shoes probably you take off your shoes you probably have shoes underneath your shoes right so even when you're walking around someone else's shoes probably still have their shoes on yeah so you have to really take off your shoes and your other shoes and your socks and your feet and walk around someone else's shoes you have allow yourself to go there you're still hold it like your ears oh yeah I'm gonna be her but I'm really gonna be me so your heavy foot you're the weight is still in your you right you say yeah I'm gonna be her but you're not really there you're just kind of right I mean I think it's your best effort but I think you can really go there go there okay you know because trust that you'll always get your point across so well you know you'll always your play will always say something right it will always say something meaningful and important but guess what it's gonna be better if you're not driving I know I know that's where my question like this is not an ad for self-driving cars I know that that's what right right yeah so it's like you have to write I think what you're saying is really useful yeah it's like you have to let go like a little more you hold it you hold it you hold it on and it's easier to let go from trust if you trust in that greater voice the voice that is greater than yours not the same yours isn't you know no that voice that is greater than yours that is somehow greater than yours belongs to everybody is yet and yet is yours alone that makes sense you know I know exactly what you're saying great so just go there right right now it's a little bit like when that greater voice it's not because I just was like great I know exactly how to go there what are the situations that bring that kind of writing about right have you ever you've been there before yeah but not because I consciously I don't know sometimes your characters in the greater voice they won't make sense in a way that you could either you Holly that we see you're now conveniently identified sometimes I was just I teach NYU my students I wrote a scene it doesn't make any sense I don't know if it's my play right I'm like whoa don't erase it keep it hold on to it a minute because that might be your greater voice talking to you in a way that you don't quite understand it you know so sometimes I feel like you might want to make sense as you go forward dare to make nonsense there to be there to like stumble drunken way along the avenue and talk to strangers with people in the eye we know you shouldn't be looking at you know talking about right yeah right right right yeah stare out the window the window stare out the window look into your own reflection for a little too long and you go shit who is that you know I mean yeah you know things that allow you to let go and I'm not talking about yourself in a kind of dangerous situation or you know you know you know go on long walks okay look at the water look up in trees nature have answers look at how you know the way it calls John calls where they're called flowers the daffodils are out look at the walk along the street and look at the daffodils see how many brave braids come out of the ground you know those that's where it is the answers are in the natural world right or in a way kids run around it's not hanging out in those like that there it is you know you come deeply interested in others not in a kind of save the children I'm gonna be a helpful person from the Western people not like that you don't say but deeply interested in something in a way that is not going to get you anything but just out of your own self that works but I was just talking about April 2nd we're back on April 2nd which is the day after which is the first day my journey right well thank you guys for coming this is great if you find the camera are just here this is what you work at the public theater and we love you guys thank you